August 14, 2024 • 13 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you. Nephew's subject I should tell him before marriage.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a twenty nine year old engaged woman,
but my husband doesn't know. I have a big secret.
We've been dating for almost seven years, and before we met,
I slept with two of his brothers in his fraternity.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
God it was.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Graduation night and we had a house party and things
got wild in the bathroom with two of my girlfriends
and the two guys. There were five of us, so
it wasn't like I'm meant to sleep with his return
ternity brothers. My boyfriend was at this party too, but
he had no idea where I was. We were all
so wasted that we could not remember all the details
(01:10):
to tell anyone about it. A few months after that happened,
my boyfriend told me that he cheated on me with
someone I knew, and I was very hurt, but I
could not break up with him because I knew what
I had done to him. I let it go and
we moved in with each other and have been together
for years. Just a week ago, I ran into one
of the guys that I had sex with, and he
(01:32):
was joking about that wild night we had in the bathroom.
He said, it is amazing that I got a good
man like my fiance. I told him what we did
was once in a lifetime. It was a once in
a lifetime thing when I was younger, and I haven't
done anything like that since then. He made me feel
nasty by the way he looked at me. He said,
he's planning to come to our wedding. I want to
(01:55):
tell my fiance how crazy the guy talked to me,
but I can't because I have to tell I'd have
to tell the whole story. I decided to tell my
fiance that I was so wasted that all I remember
was going to the bathroom and guys were in there.
But he'll want to know what guys were in there.
When I tell him, do I have to tell everything? Well, yeah,
(02:18):
once you started, I mean he's going to be asking
you questions and all of that. It's going to open
the door and it's going to all come to light
if you start that it was a long time ago
and you were very young. Okay, you said you don't
remember everything that happened that night. It's not an excuse.
It's just that everyone when they're young does really really
(02:38):
stupid stuff, especially when alcohol is involved. And you do
know there's a double standard, and your man will judge
you not only because of what you did, but who
you did. His frat brothers are off limits. But what's
done is done now and that's that. However, you are
under no obligation to tell him about your past. I
(02:59):
mean the passage is that the past, and you can't
change what happened. So don't dwell on it. Don't tell him.
Ask yourself, what is telling him gonna do? What is
that gonna do? If you do tell him, be prepared
that he's gonna be mad and he might leave you
because he can't deal with the fact that the guys
you were with were his fraternity brothers.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Steve, all right, this is a real simple letter. I
don't know how I can take a long time with this.
I don't know how I can draw this out into
two breaks, because this is not a two break letter.
You are twenty nine years old back in college. You
were twenty twenty one graduation night. You was in the bathroom,
you and two of your girlfriends and two guys at
(03:38):
a party. Some guy out of hand. All y'all had sex.
Your boyfriend was at the party. Two It just so
happened that two of the dudes that was in the
bathroom was his frat brothers. Horrible judgment, just a bad judgment. Call.
You just made a poor decision that night. Prisons are
(04:01):
full of good people who made bad decision, full of man.
There's some great dudes and women sitting in prisons all
over this country that made a bad decision. You made
a bad decision, w'ch twenty nine years old, and now
you're marrying the guy who was at the party. But
what happened is you run up into the guy you
(04:23):
had sex with, and now he looking at you crazy,
made you feel nasty, talk to you a little bit crazy.
Now you say you want to go tell your boyfriend
about this secret. Now you didn't tell him in the beginning,
because he ended up telling you he cheated with one
of your friends, a girl you knew, and you was
hurt by it, but you didn't want to. You let
(04:45):
it go because you knew what you had did to him.
Now rose had reversed. You're about to get married. This
frat brother told you he coming to the wedding. He
can't believe you got a good guy like that. You
told him it was a once in a life time thing.
And now we at what the letter is about. I
decided to tell my fiance that I was so wasted
(05:09):
that all our men was going to the bathroom and
guys were in there. But he'll want to know what
guys were in there when I tell him, do I
have to tell him everything? I have one word for you,
Why come on? Why? Why why are you talking about this?
(05:32):
So what you ran up into that dude. That's what
I'm telling you right now that.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Y'all lying, Lying is so important.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Lying. I can't stress to you how important it is
to lie. All is truth at all costs is the
most ignorant ass thing you could say.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
The truth doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Though, truth does not matter. The truth is oval rating.
It is overrated. If you told him the truth about
that night, whack. And now, do you know what happens
after you do that? No, you don't know what's gonna happen.
(06:30):
But do you want Uncle Steve to tell you what
could potentially happen if you say this to this man
on I'll tell you when we come back.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Save that. Okay, we'll have part two of Steve's response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's
Strawberry Letter, subject I should tell him before marriage. We'll
get back into it right after.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yes, you're listening, Morning show.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject I should tell him before marriage.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Twenty nine year old woman about to get married. Been
living with a boyfriend a few years now. They was
dating in college. On graduation night, she went into a
bathroom and two of her girlfriends, two of his frat brothers,
was in there. They all had sex together. The thing
of it was, he was at the party two that night,
her boyfriend downstairs, on stairs somewhere like that. Fast forward.
(07:26):
Years later, he admitted to her that he cheated on
her with a girl. She knew she was hurt, but
she didn't. She let it go and let it slide
because she realizes what she had did to him on
graduation night. Okay, I four and I tip for attack.
Got it done over with. Years later, right before the
(07:47):
marriages had about to happen, she runs into one of
the guys that was in the bathroom, who is also
her fiance's frat brother. He said, reminded her that wild
night and can't believe she got such a good guy
like this and was talking to her crazy, looking at
her like she was nasty where you was all y'all
was nasty in that bathroom. It was nasty up in there.
(08:09):
It was five of y'all in there, So something nasty happened.
You have decided, for some ungodly reason, that you want
to now tell your fiance that you got wasted one
night and was in that bathroom and some other people
was in there. But you don't want to tell him everything.
(08:30):
But suppose he wants to know more? Do I tell
him everything? My one word question for you is why
why would you do that? Why would you open your
damn mouth? Why let's go to what's wrong with that?
Why would you tell the truth. Let's just explore it
(08:53):
from the woman angle who always wants to know every
damn thing. See y'all want to see y'all. I always
want to know every damn thing. But then you, your
dumb ass, wanna tell every damn thing. Shut show damn mouth.
This ain't the time for truth. He ain't suspected nothing.
(09:14):
He didn't bust you. They aint went to him and say,
hey man, we got something to tell you. Ain't none
of that happened. You have been forgiven. Move on. Now
you gonna go in here and tell him. I was
in the bathroom with two of your friends on graduation,
and then they ain't got out here. And then we
all him and five of us in there and we
(09:35):
had sex, and that was there. They will be there.
I didn't want to stop because it was good, and
they were a while we was graduating, so I was
celebrating in there. Your friend brother Hall, he was all
over me. He just kept on. And then I saw
Hale and he told me about the little girl. What
you did that bad judgment night as a young woman.
(09:55):
You a grown woman. Now shut your damn mouth. I
keep telling you all about this truth over rate it.
It ain't the time for you. There are times when
lies are absolutely necessary. Now if now, and I'm gonna
tell you how you could lie. If the frat brother
went to his frat brother and say, hey, man, I
can't let you do this. I had your girl that night.
(10:18):
We was in the bathroom. Guess what you say. I
wasn't in no damn bathroom. Okay, what are you talking about?
Get hear me bring I wasn't in no damn bathroom
with you. You like, I promise you I'll be in there.
I know that's right. And you ain't even got to
(10:43):
lie because guess what all you got to do is
not bring it up right. This is not being deceitful.
This is called forgiveness. That's what it is. This is
called grace. Let me tell you something, young lady. I
(11:05):
can assure you that all of us have done something
that God has allowed us to slide on. Thank you Lord.
All all of us donedone something that we hope would
never get out there, and it just didn't get out
especially those of us who lived in the time before
(11:27):
social media and phone camels. I can't tell you how
grateful I am to God that the seventies and eighties
and nineties and early two thousands. No proof that run
I made from seventy seven to two thousand and five
(11:51):
was epic. Oh what my Space wasn't even out then?
The Hall King tour is undocumented. Thank you Jesus. Now, wow,
(12:14):
would I take my family and sit them down and say,
let me tell you I can't live like this. I'm
fin to tell you everything. Man, my kids, let me
tell you so my kids will leave me, not my
kids would leave me, Daddy? What my grandkids are quick
(12:39):
calling me? Paupaul? Hang it out to man, Lady lady,
don't open your mouth. It's okay. And trust me, everybody
listening has done something that God has given them some
grace for and just let it slide. Eat that alone,
all right?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Your comment? Thank you Steve on Today's Strawberry Letter. On
Instagram and Facebook, It's Steve Harvey FM. And check us
out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.
Coming up next it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right
after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you. Nephew's subject I should tell him before marriage.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a twenty nine year old engaged woman,
but my husband doesn't know. I have a big secret.
We've been dating for almost seven years, and before we met,
I slept with two of his brothers in his fraternity.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
God it was.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Graduation night and we had a house party and things
got wild in the bathroom with two of my girlfriends
and the two guys. There were five of us, so
it wasn't like I'm meant to sleep with his return
ternity brothers. My boyfriend was at this party too, but
he had no idea where I was. We were all
so wasted that we could not remember all the details
(01:10):
to tell anyone about it. A few months after that happened,
my boyfriend told me that he cheated on me with
someone I knew, and I was very hurt, but I
could not break up with him because I knew what
I had done to him. I let it go and
we moved in with each other and have been together
for years. Just a week ago, I ran into one
of the guys that I had sex with, and he
(01:32):
was joking about that wild night we had in the bathroom.
He said, it is amazing that I got a good
man like my fiance. I told him what we did
was once in a lifetime. It was a once in
a lifetime thing when I was younger, and I haven't
done anything like that since then. He made me feel
nasty by the way he looked at me. He said,
he's planning to come to our wedding. I want to
(01:55):
tell my fiance how crazy the guy talked to me,
but I can't because I have to tell I'd have
to tell the whole story. I decided to tell my
fiance that I was so wasted that all I remember
was going to the bathroom and guys were in there.
But he'll want to know what guys were in there.
When I tell him, do I have to tell everything? Well, yeah,
(02:18):
once you started, I mean he's going to be asking
you questions and all of that. It's going to open
the door and it's going to all come to light
if you start that it was a long time ago
and you were very young. Okay, you said you don't
remember everything that happened that night. It's not an excuse.
It's just that everyone when they're young does really really
(02:38):
stupid stuff, especially when alcohol is involved. And you do
know there's a double standard, and your man will judge
you not only because of what you did, but who
you did. His frat brothers are off limits. But what's
done is done now and that's that. However, you are
under no obligation to tell him about your past. I
(02:59):
mean the passage is that the past, and you can't
change what happened. So don't dwell on it. Don't tell him.
Ask yourself, what is telling him gonna do? What is
that gonna do? If you do tell him, be prepared
that he's gonna be mad and he might leave you
because he can't deal with the fact that the guys
you were with were his fraternity brothers.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Steve, all right, this is a real simple letter. I
don't know how I can take a long time with this.
I don't know how I can draw this out into
two breaks, because this is not a two break letter.
You are twenty nine years old back in college. You
were twenty twenty one graduation night. You was in the bathroom,
you and two of your girlfriends and two guys at
(03:38):
a party. Some guy out of hand. All y'all had sex.
Your boyfriend was at the party. Two It just so
happened that two of the dudes that was in the
bathroom was his frat brothers. Horrible judgment, just a bad judgment. Call.
You just made a poor decision that night. Prisons are
(04:01):
full of good people who made bad decision, full of man.
There's some great dudes and women sitting in prisons all
over this country that made a bad decision. You made
a bad decision, w'ch twenty nine years old, and now
you're marrying the guy who was at the party. But
what happened is you run up into the guy you
(04:23):
had sex with, and now he looking at you crazy,
made you feel nasty, talk to you a little bit crazy.
Now you say you want to go tell your boyfriend
about this secret. Now you didn't tell him in the beginning,
because he ended up telling you he cheated with one
of your friends, a girl you knew, and you was
hurt by it, but you didn't want to. You let
(04:45):
it go because you knew what you had did to him.
Now rose had reversed. You're about to get married. This
frat brother told you he coming to the wedding. He
can't believe you got a good guy like that. You
told him it was a once in a life time thing.
And now we at what the letter is about. I
decided to tell my fiance that I was so wasted
(05:09):
that all our men was going to the bathroom and
guys were in there. But he'll want to know what
guys were in there when I tell him, do I
have to tell him everything? I have one word for you,
Why come on? Why? Why why are you talking about this?
(05:32):
So what you ran up into that dude. That's what
I'm telling you right now that.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Y'all lying, Lying is so important.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Lying. I can't stress to you how important it is
to lie. All is truth at all costs is the
most ignorant ass thing you could say.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
The truth doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Though, truth does not matter. The truth is oval rating.
It is overrated. If you told him the truth about
that night, whack. And now, do you know what happens
after you do that? No, you don't know what's gonna happen.
(06:30):
But do you want Uncle Steve to tell you what
could potentially happen if you say this to this man
on I'll tell you when we come back.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Save that. Okay, we'll have part two of Steve's response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's
Strawberry Letter, subject I should tell him before marriage. We'll
get back into it right after.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yes, you're listening, Morning show.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject I should tell him before marriage.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Twenty nine year old woman about to get married. Been
living with a boyfriend a few years now. They was
dating in college. On graduation night, she went into a
bathroom and two of her girlfriends, two of his frat brothers,
was in there. They all had sex together. The thing
of it was, he was at the party two that night,
her boyfriend downstairs, on stairs somewhere like that. Fast forward.
(07:26):
Years later, he admitted to her that he cheated on
her with a girl. She knew she was hurt, but
she didn't. She let it go and let it slide
because she realizes what she had did to him on
graduation night. Okay, I four and I tip for attack.
Got it done over with. Years later, right before the
(07:47):
marriages had about to happen, she runs into one of
the guys that was in the bathroom, who is also
her fiance's frat brother. He said, reminded her that wild
night and can't believe she got such a good guy
like this and was talking to her crazy, looking at
her like she was nasty where you was all y'all
was nasty in that bathroom. It was nasty up in there.
(08:09):
It was five of y'all in there, So something nasty happened.
You have decided, for some ungodly reason, that you want
to now tell your fiance that you got wasted one
night and was in that bathroom and some other people
was in there. But you don't want to tell him everything.
(08:30):
But suppose he wants to know more? Do I tell
him everything? My one word question for you is why
why would you do that? Why would you open your
damn mouth? Why let's go to what's wrong with that?
Why would you tell the truth. Let's just explore it
(08:53):
from the woman angle who always wants to know every
damn thing. See y'all want to see y'all. I always
want to know every damn thing. But then you, your
dumb ass, wanna tell every damn thing. Shut show damn mouth.
This ain't the time for truth. He ain't suspected nothing.
(09:14):
He didn't bust you. They aint went to him and say,
hey man, we got something to tell you. Ain't none
of that happened. You have been forgiven. Move on. Now
you gonna go in here and tell him. I was
in the bathroom with two of your friends on graduation,
and then they ain't got out here. And then we
all him and five of us in there and we
(09:35):
had sex, and that was there. They will be there.
I didn't want to stop because it was good, and
they were a while we was graduating, so I was
celebrating in there. Your friend brother Hall, he was all
over me. He just kept on. And then I saw
Hale and he told me about the little girl. What
you did that bad judgment night as a young woman.
(09:55):
You a grown woman. Now shut your damn mouth. I
keep telling you all about this truth over rate it.
It ain't the time for you. There are times when
lies are absolutely necessary. Now if now, and I'm gonna
tell you how you could lie. If the frat brother
went to his frat brother and say, hey, man, I
can't let you do this. I had your girl that night.
(10:18):
We was in the bathroom. Guess what you say. I
wasn't in no damn bathroom. Okay, what are you talking about?
Get hear me bring I wasn't in no damn bathroom
with you. You like, I promise you I'll be in there.
I know that's right. And you ain't even got to
(10:43):
lie because guess what all you got to do is
not bring it up right. This is not being deceitful.
This is called forgiveness. That's what it is. This is
called grace. Let me tell you something, young lady. I
(11:05):
can assure you that all of us have done something
that God has allowed us to slide on. Thank you Lord.
All all of us donedone something that we hope would
never get out there, and it just didn't get out
especially those of us who lived in the time before
(11:27):
social media and phone camels. I can't tell you how
grateful I am to God that the seventies and eighties
and nineties and early two thousands. No proof that run
I made from seventy seven to two thousand and five
(11:51):
was epic. Oh what my Space wasn't even out then?
The Hall King tour is undocumented. Thank you Jesus. Now, wow,
(12:14):
would I take my family and sit them down and say,
let me tell you I can't live like this. I'm
fin to tell you everything. Man, my kids, let me
tell you so my kids will leave me, not my
kids would leave me, Daddy? What my grandkids are quick
(12:39):
calling me? Paupaul? Hang it out to man, Lady lady,
don't open your mouth. It's okay. And trust me, everybody
listening has done something that God has given them some
grace for and just let it slide. Eat that alone,
all right?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Your comment? Thank you Steve on Today's Strawberry Letter. On
Instagram and Facebook, It's Steve Harvey FM. And check us
out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.
Coming up next it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right
after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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