November 3, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Monday, November 3rd, 2025. Subject: "I Want That Old Thang Back"
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to steveharveysm dot com and
click submit Strawberry LETTA. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like I want to read
this one right here, right now. You never know it
(00:21):
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
All right, let's buggle up and hold on tight. We
got it full you here. It is the Strawberry Letter subject.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I want that old thing back, all right. Dear Stephen Shirley.
My wife and I have been married for twenty two years.
Before the past four years we've lived apart. We talked
about divorce, but we never did it. It's very weird,
but we fell into a parent a pattern of co
parenting and just never filed for divorce. Every holiday she
(00:50):
invites me over so our family can be together. Every Christmas,
I sleep in the guest room and wake up, cook breakfast,
and then we watch our kids open present. It's not
until recently that I'm seeing my wife in a different light.
We got married when we were twenty four, and I
was still immature and selfish. Now that I'm older. I
(01:12):
see my wife in a position of authority leading a
household without me, and it kills me inside. I want
so badly to just apologize and go back home, but
my pride gets in the way. I fear rejection too,
because the children told me she's dating. She's got her
hair cut short, and she's still got her twenty four
(01:34):
year old figure, and she dresses very nicely. I don't
want her to forget about me and move on, so
I made up reasons to see her without the children.
I asked her to come to my office to discuss
our oldest child's college tuition, and she came in, smelling
good and looking like a movie star. All eyes were
(01:55):
on her, and for a second I was proud to
call her my wife. She quickly reminded me that we
are estranged and I no longer have any privileges. The
day after, I went to our middle school's band competition
and my wife's new boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Was with her.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I said, far away from them, because this cut like
a knife. Recently, I got enough courage to tell her
to call her to see if I if she'd be
interested in patching things up, and she let me know
she has moved on, and we need to file for
divorce for real. This time I cried, but she was
(02:34):
cold as I I can't lose her. What do I
do now? Well, it looks like you've already lost her,
and she so much as told you that, And you
don't say what causes separation. Four years ago you just
talked about there was talk about divorce, but never filed.
And for four years you both have been just dealing
(02:57):
with this situation for the sake of a kid. So
you say, until now, you never mentioned, like I said,
what causes separation? But I'm thinking you cheated because you
say you have something to apologize for, but your pride
won't let you. Now, all of a sudden, your wife
is looking like a movie star. She's a boss, smelling good,
(03:18):
she has her twenty four year old figure back, she's
got her short haircut. You also said you were selfish
and immature when you were married at twenty four, and
that's another reason I think you cheated. But now that
you're older, you see your wife in a different life. Well,
I mean that's understandable because people do change and people
do grow, and your wife is aging like fine wine.
(03:42):
Apparently it sounds like you're stuck and can't move forward
because you say you're afraid of rejection and just too
prideful to do what you need to do. I think
it's because the kids told you your wife is dating. Okay,
your wife is dating, So now you're getting all these
feelings about you don't want to lose her. You feel
(04:02):
like another man is taking your place, so of course
that makes you want her more. You realize what you
lost now. But unfortunately, your wife told you she's moved on.
She wants to file for divorce. Sounds like you need
to move on too. I mean, you could give it
another shot, no risk, no reward, but sounds like she's
made up her mind. And that's about the end of that.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Steve, Well, do came to the right place.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
The only thing about coming to me with the letter
like this is being a man.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I know exactly what he's really saying. Now, what you typed, it's.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
All cute, but bruh, that ain't really. That ain't really
what's happening. And we're just gonna have to be honest
with you. If you want Uncle Steve's help, I don't
know that I can, because you've ignored something for a while.
You've been married twenty two years, but the last four
(05:06):
y'all been living apart. Y'all talked about divorce, but you
never did. But every holiday she invites you over so
the family can be together. And every Christmas you sleep
in the guest room and wake up, cook breakfast, and
watch your kids open presents. And then you say, not
until recently that I started seeing my wife in a
different light. We got married when we were twenty four.
(05:29):
So you've been married twenty two years. That means you're
forty six now and I'm still and you were twenty
four and I was still immature and selfish. Now that
I'm older, I see my wife in a position of authority,
leading a household without me, and it kills me inside.
(05:49):
Oh okay, so now you realize, as a lot of
men do families every day.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
I got your dog.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I want so badly to just apologize and go back home.
And here's the reason we have this whole letter. I
want to so badly to apologize and go back home,
but my pride gets in the way. The Bible says
pride cometh before fall. You will see the fall in
(06:24):
this letter, and you will understand it was caused by pride.
When we come back, I will show you what he
considers to be pride, and I'm going to tell you
that it's something else.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
All right, all right, Steve, hang on to that thought.
We'll have part two of your response at twenty three
minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter, subject I want
that old thing back. We'll get back into it right
after this. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
If you're a homeowner, you know it took years of saving, planning,
and hard work to get in the door. Then't make
that house a home now, all that effort has built
something hugely valuable. Equity is the portion of your home
you truly own that can be tapped to fund what's next.
And Rocket Mortgage is here to help you turn your
home's equity into cash. Fund your next dream with Rocket Mortgage.
(07:19):
Visit Rocket mortgage dot com today to find out more.
Rocket Mortgage LLC license in fifty states, NMLS Consumer Access
dot Org number thirty thirty.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject I want that old thing back.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Well, yeah, you do, doll, but you didn't appreciate it
when it was a new thing, and you didn't do
it right when it was your thing. Now it's becoming
old thing. We have a situation. Now you want it
back right. Married twenty two years past four, they lived apart.
They celebrate holidays together. She calls him over to the house.
He sleeps in the guest room. On Christmas. They wake
(07:58):
up and they wash your kids, open up, presence together,
and all of that right there, and then he says,
not to recently, I'm seeing my wife in a different light.
We got married when we were twenty four. I was
still immature and selfish. So now I'm older. He's forty
six now. By the way, folks, because he's been married
twenty two years. I got married in twenty four. I
(08:19):
see my wife leading a household without me, and it
kills me inside.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Here's the reason we have this letter.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I want so badly to just apologize and go back home,
but my pride gets in the way.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
I said.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
There as a scripture that said pride cometh before a fall.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Now, the four years of not filing for divorce.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And this pride you have, you want so badly to
go back and apologize, but you just your pride.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Get in the way.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Well, now the fall is occurring, son, And exactly what
is pride?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Everybody? What is this thing about men?
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Sometimes that prohibits us from doing what's the right thing
and watching something occur, knowing what would fix it. But
your pride gets in the way. Well, let me tell
you what pride is. And then he says, I fear
rejection too. That he's trying to be honest, but this
(09:18):
pride is a part of that. See, the reason he
don't want to be rejected is could it be because
he does the rejected.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
And now he don't want the roles reversed.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
You know, you do what you want to do, but
then when it's time for you to do what you
have to do.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Oh my god, she you call that pride? Okay, bro,
I go with you.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
And then he says, I fear rejection too, because the
children told me she's been dating.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
She got a new.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Haircut short, and she still got her twenty four year
old figure, and she dresses very nicely. Okay, dog, when
she got the new haircut, you ain't see this coming.
Let me tell you some fellas. When you see your
woman in the gym, when you see your woman with
a new haircut. When you see your woman going on
(10:12):
about her business, you better sit up and take notice.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
If she don't ask.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
You how you like my hair, if she don't never
mention to you why she working out, it ain't for you.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Play, It ain't for you. And I want so badly
to go back home, but I don't.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Want to apologize because my pride gets in the way.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
So now here's what happened.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
I don't want her to forget about me and move on,
So I made up reasons to see her without the children.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
So yeah, I said to come down to the office.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Just because your oldest child's children college tuition. She could
show up hair cut, shorts, smelling good, body banging like
a twenty four year old coming to office. Everybody notices her.
He pride out to call her my wife. But then
she told you, we are strange. You ain't got no privilege.
Stop telling people.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
How did she say it?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
We are strange?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
You ain't got no privilege. Stop telling people I'm your wife.
Now you look at stupid down at your little office.
See this that pride, old dumb pride. The finest woman
in the world is your ex on the arms of
another man. See they blew it, pimp, and now you're
watching it. But oh, we ain't got that yet, but
we do. Right after this though, the day after our
(11:34):
the day after I went to our middle child's band competition,
and my wife's new boyfriend was with her. I sat
far away from them because this cut like a knife.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
It's a song. I got enough courage to call her
to see it.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Now here we go. Now he got courage. Now see
a minute ago it was pride, right, Pride is ignorance, man,
And so now you got enough courage to call her
to see if she'd be interested in patching things up.
And just like she did when she came up to
the office, let you know you don't have no more
(12:14):
privileges and stop calling you me your wife, She told
you she had moved on, and we need to file
for divorce for real this time, because the boyfriend was saying, well,
if y'all ain't gonna divorce, why don't y'all just get divorced?
Because I want you, hm, I cried, but she was
(12:35):
cold as ill, a little bit too late for the tears. Dog,
Hold up, excuse me, didn't you say your pride got
any So what is you cry.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
For what happened to that pride?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
See what else that.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
I can't lose her? Shirley said that you already can't
lose her. Who did you see at the band competition?
You think he ain't said nothing about the haircut and
the little banging body? What do I do now? Well, dog,
I think you've done what you're gonna do. You waited
(13:12):
four years. You took too long. You thought she was
just gonna sit over that hold of fine self and
wasn't nobody.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Else gonna want them proud?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
You may be too late, homie, all right, and you
let your pride get in the way.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
We gotta go.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on demand. Hey y'all, this is Monica, This
is Spike Lee. Hey, this is Mary J.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Blood.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yo.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
This is stephen A. Smith. Hey, this is sacka con
You have no idea what it is.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
This is Carlos Miller and this may or may not
be the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to steveharveysm dot com and
click submit Strawberry LETTA. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like I want to read
this one right here, right now. You never know it
(00:21):
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
All right, let's buggle up and hold on tight. We
got it full you here. It is the Strawberry Letter subject.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I want that old thing back, all right. Dear Stephen Shirley.
My wife and I have been married for twenty two years.
Before the past four years we've lived apart. We talked
about divorce, but we never did it. It's very weird,
but we fell into a parent a pattern of co
parenting and just never filed for divorce. Every holiday she
(00:50):
invites me over so our family can be together. Every Christmas,
I sleep in the guest room and wake up, cook breakfast,
and then we watch our kids open present. It's not
until recently that I'm seeing my wife in a different light.
We got married when we were twenty four, and I
was still immature and selfish. Now that I'm older. I
(01:12):
see my wife in a position of authority leading a
household without me, and it kills me inside. I want
so badly to just apologize and go back home, but
my pride gets in the way. I fear rejection too,
because the children told me she's dating. She's got her
hair cut short, and she's still got her twenty four
(01:34):
year old figure, and she dresses very nicely. I don't
want her to forget about me and move on, so
I made up reasons to see her without the children.
I asked her to come to my office to discuss
our oldest child's college tuition, and she came in, smelling
good and looking like a movie star. All eyes were
(01:55):
on her, and for a second I was proud to
call her my wife. She quickly reminded me that we
are estranged and I no longer have any privileges. The
day after, I went to our middle school's band competition
and my wife's new boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Was with her.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I said, far away from them, because this cut like
a knife. Recently, I got enough courage to tell her
to call her to see if I if she'd be
interested in patching things up, and she let me know
she has moved on, and we need to file for
divorce for real. This time I cried, but she was
(02:34):
cold as I I can't lose her. What do I
do now? Well, it looks like you've already lost her,
and she so much as told you that, And you
don't say what causes separation. Four years ago you just
talked about there was talk about divorce, but never filed.
And for four years you both have been just dealing
(02:57):
with this situation for the sake of a kid. So
you say, until now, you never mentioned, like I said,
what causes separation? But I'm thinking you cheated because you
say you have something to apologize for, but your pride
won't let you. Now, all of a sudden, your wife
is looking like a movie star. She's a boss, smelling good,
(03:18):
she has her twenty four year old figure back, she's
got her short haircut. You also said you were selfish
and immature when you were married at twenty four, and
that's another reason I think you cheated. But now that
you're older, you see your wife in a different life. Well,
I mean that's understandable because people do change and people
do grow, and your wife is aging like fine wine.
(03:42):
Apparently it sounds like you're stuck and can't move forward
because you say you're afraid of rejection and just too
prideful to do what you need to do. I think
it's because the kids told you your wife is dating. Okay,
your wife is dating, So now you're getting all these
feelings about you don't want to lose her. You feel
(04:02):
like another man is taking your place, so of course
that makes you want her more. You realize what you
lost now. But unfortunately, your wife told you she's moved on.
She wants to file for divorce. Sounds like you need
to move on too. I mean, you could give it
another shot, no risk, no reward, but sounds like she's
made up her mind. And that's about the end of that.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Steve, Well, do came to the right place.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
The only thing about coming to me with the letter
like this is being a man.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I know exactly what he's really saying. Now, what you typed, it's.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
All cute, but bruh, that ain't really. That ain't really
what's happening. And we're just gonna have to be honest
with you. If you want Uncle Steve's help, I don't
know that I can, because you've ignored something for a while.
You've been married twenty two years, but the last four
(05:06):
y'all been living apart. Y'all talked about divorce, but you
never did. But every holiday she invites you over so
the family can be together. And every Christmas you sleep
in the guest room and wake up, cook breakfast, and
watch your kids open presents. And then you say, not
until recently that I started seeing my wife in a
different light. We got married when we were twenty four.
(05:29):
So you've been married twenty two years. That means you're
forty six now and I'm still and you were twenty
four and I was still immature and selfish. Now that
I'm older, I see my wife in a position of authority,
leading a household without me, and it kills me inside.
(05:49):
Oh okay, so now you realize, as a lot of
men do families every day.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
I got your dog.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I want so badly to just apologize and go back home.
And here's the reason we have this whole letter. I
want to so badly to apologize and go back home,
but my pride gets in the way. The Bible says
pride cometh before fall. You will see the fall in
(06:24):
this letter, and you will understand it was caused by pride.
When we come back, I will show you what he
considers to be pride, and I'm going to tell you
that it's something else.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
All right, all right, Steve, hang on to that thought.
We'll have part two of your response at twenty three
minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter, subject I want
that old thing back. We'll get back into it right
after this. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
If you're a homeowner, you know it took years of saving, planning,
and hard work to get in the door. Then't make
that house a home now, all that effort has built
something hugely valuable. Equity is the portion of your home
you truly own that can be tapped to fund what's next.
And Rocket Mortgage is here to help you turn your
home's equity into cash. Fund your next dream with Rocket Mortgage.
(07:19):
Visit Rocket mortgage dot com today to find out more.
Rocket Mortgage LLC license in fifty states, NMLS Consumer Access
dot Org number thirty thirty.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject I want that old thing back.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Well, yeah, you do, doll, but you didn't appreciate it
when it was a new thing, and you didn't do
it right when it was your thing. Now it's becoming
old thing. We have a situation. Now you want it
back right. Married twenty two years past four, they lived apart.
They celebrate holidays together. She calls him over to the house.
He sleeps in the guest room. On Christmas. They wake
(07:58):
up and they wash your kids, open up, presence together,
and all of that right there, and then he says,
not to recently, I'm seeing my wife in a different light.
We got married when we were twenty four. I was
still immature and selfish. So now I'm older. He's forty
six now. By the way, folks, because he's been married
twenty two years. I got married in twenty four. I
(08:19):
see my wife leading a household without me, and it
kills me inside.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Here's the reason we have this letter.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I want so badly to just apologize and go back home,
but my pride gets in the way.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
I said.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
There as a scripture that said pride cometh before a fall.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Now, the four years of not filing for divorce.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And this pride you have, you want so badly to
go back and apologize, but you just your pride.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Get in the way.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Well, now the fall is occurring, son, And exactly what
is pride?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Everybody? What is this thing about men?
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Sometimes that prohibits us from doing what's the right thing
and watching something occur, knowing what would fix it. But
your pride gets in the way. Well, let me tell
you what pride is. And then he says, I fear
rejection too. That he's trying to be honest, but this
(09:18):
pride is a part of that. See, the reason he
don't want to be rejected is could it be because
he does the rejected.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
And now he don't want the roles reversed.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
You know, you do what you want to do, but
then when it's time for you to do what you
have to do.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Oh my god, she you call that pride? Okay, bro,
I go with you.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
And then he says, I fear rejection too, because the
children told me she's been dating.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
She got a new.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Haircut short, and she still got her twenty four year
old figure, and she dresses very nicely. Okay, dog, when
she got the new haircut, you ain't see this coming.
Let me tell you some fellas. When you see your
woman in the gym, when you see your woman with
a new haircut. When you see your woman going on
(10:12):
about her business, you better sit up and take notice.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
If she don't ask.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
You how you like my hair, if she don't never
mention to you why she working out, it ain't for you.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Play, It ain't for you. And I want so badly
to go back home, but I don't.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Want to apologize because my pride gets in the way.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
So now here's what happened.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
I don't want her to forget about me and move on,
So I made up reasons to see her without the children.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
So yeah, I said to come down to the office.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Just because your oldest child's children college tuition. She could
show up hair cut, shorts, smelling good, body banging like
a twenty four year old coming to office. Everybody notices her.
He pride out to call her my wife. But then
she told you, we are strange. You ain't got no privilege.
Stop telling people.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
How did she say it?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
We are strange?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
You ain't got no privilege. Stop telling people I'm your wife.
Now you look at stupid down at your little office.
See this that pride, old dumb pride. The finest woman
in the world is your ex on the arms of
another man. See they blew it, pimp, and now you're
watching it. But oh, we ain't got that yet, but
we do. Right after this though, the day after our
(11:34):
the day after I went to our middle child's band competition,
and my wife's new boyfriend was with her. I sat
far away from them because this cut like a knife.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
It's a song. I got enough courage to call her
to see it.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Now here we go. Now he got courage. Now see
a minute ago it was pride, right, Pride is ignorance, man,
And so now you got enough courage to call her
to see if she'd be interested in patching things up.
And just like she did when she came up to
the office, let you know you don't have no more
(12:14):
privileges and stop calling you me your wife, She told
you she had moved on, and we need to file
for divorce for real this time, because the boyfriend was saying, well,
if y'all ain't gonna divorce, why don't y'all just get divorced?
Because I want you, hm, I cried, but she was
(12:35):
cold as ill, a little bit too late for the tears. Dog,
Hold up, excuse me, didn't you say your pride got
any So what is you cry.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
For what happened to that pride?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
See what else that.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
I can't lose her? Shirley said that you already can't
lose her. Who did you see at the band competition?
You think he ain't said nothing about the haircut and
the little banging body? What do I do now? Well, dog,
I think you've done what you're gonna do. You waited
(13:12):
four years. You took too long. You thought she was
just gonna sit over that hold of fine self and
wasn't nobody.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Else gonna want them proud?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
You may be too late, homie, all right, and you
let your pride get in the way.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
We gotta go.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on demand. Hey y'all, this is Monica, This
is Spike Lee. Hey, this is Mary J.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Blood.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yo.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
This is stephen A. Smith. Hey, this is sacka con
You have no idea what it is.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
This is Carlos Miller and this may or may not
be the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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