Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
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Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
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Speaker 3 (00:25):
Let us thank you. Nephew.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Subject I wear the pants in the family here Stephen Shirley.
I'm thirty two and I married a man that's never
done any kind of physical work. He sells insurance like
his daddy did, and his parents bought us the house
we live in because he pays all of the bills.
He likes to throw it in my face that we don't.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Have a house. Note.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I work part time, so I have more time on
my hands to take care of our three sons and
things that need to be done around the house. I
am writing this letter because I do some things that
women shouldn't have to do. Just rease, I had to
get a wasp nest off the porch and hose down
our driveway after we had a heavy rain. He saw
(01:07):
me doing the work and thought it was funny. He
won't pick up the vacuum a mop, mow the lawn,
or put his clothes in the washing machine. I also
get the boy's haircuts once a month, and I buy
all of their clothes, which they often hate. My husband
even expects me to initiate sex. He said we can
do it whenever I want it, because he knows I'm
(01:29):
usually tired from a full day of moving around with
the kids.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I hate that for me.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I've asked him to participate in this marriage, and he
thinks that his financial contribution is adequate. The ongoing joke
with our friends is that I wear the pants in
the family. It's no longer funny to me. I can
go back to teaching full time and take care of
my boys without him. I can leave him in his
house that his parents got him and see how long
(01:55):
he can take care of it without me. His mom
is still living and she agrees that her son can
do more to help me out, but she won't dare
mention it to him. I resent my husband more than ever.
Can I give my husband an ultimatum or is he
a lost cause?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Please help?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
All right, you're married to a very selfish, very arrogant,
very lazy man period.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I mean, what does he think this is?
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You literally do everything in the family and he thinks
it's okay because he pays all the bills.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
No, I don't what.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Man would be happy to see his wife, the mother
of his sons, doing all that you do, getting wasp
messed down, powerwashing the driveway. Come on, now, I think
you've let his behavior go on way too long, and
now you're ready to leave because you've had enough. But
your husband checked out of this marriage years ago. He's
(02:54):
got a couple of dollars that he can hang over
your head so he feels like he can do whatever
he wants to do. I mean, money does not make
a marriage. It can break one, though.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
It's either too much money people don't know how to act,
or it is not enough money and it's just too
hard to make the marriage work because you don't have enough.
But your husband doesn't seem to be interested in you
or the marriage. I don't think you need to give
him an ultimatum. I need I think you need to
give yourself an ultimatum because either he starts pulling his
(03:26):
weight at home with the boys, or you just do
what you said you were gonna do, go back to
work full time and raise the boys without him.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
You've been doing it by yourself this long.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Anyway, Steve, one question, why did you marry him? You know,
whenever I get these letters, I try to find some
redeeming quality in the person that the letter is about.
Do you Usually in all of these letters you have
someone that has a complaint towards another person. That's usually
(04:01):
what these letters are about. So what I try to
find when I get these letters is some redeeming quality
inside of the person that the letter is about. You've
married a man that's never done any kind of physical work.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Now.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
I don't know if he's older than you, you thirty two,
but y'all have already had these three boys. He sells
insurance like his daddy did, and his parents bought us
the house we live in now.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Because he pays all the bills. He likes to throw
it in my face that we don't have a house note.
Now let me stop right here.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
The house note is usually our largest bill, Am I right?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
That's usually the largest bill.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
So if yo, Daddy and Mama brought you the house,
What bill is you bragging about?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Girl?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Did you see that water bill came in here? Forty dollars?
You see me pay that water bill? Huh? Did you
see the electricity bill that came in this month? One
hundred and ten? You see that? What's Let me ask
you guys something. What's the average electric bill at a
at a house? What do you think?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Just get me down? Five sixty five hundred.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
That's just electric?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Are you talking about water too?
Speaker 4 (05:24):
That's yeah for the electric about five hundred and sixty
for electricity.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
This is a regular house, not a mansion right over here.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know y'all. Y'all running on generator?
Wasn't you five hundred? Anyway?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
So he's paying he's paying these regular bills.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I'm assuming it is. That's why I have to ask.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Yeah, but now he paying these bills. And he wanted
to throw that in your face. But as mama and
them gave in the house. Note, and then you're writing
this letter because you say you're doing some stuff that
women shouldn't have to do, you getting hornets nests down
out and washing down the driveway.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
He saw you doing the work, and he thought it
was funny.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Ah ha ha he he heled, He don't pick up
a vacuum, mop, motor lawn, put his clothes. He don't
motor lawn. He don't what he do?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
What?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
What does he do? And now you do have got
tired of it?
Speaker 1 (06:34):
All right?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Hang on, Steve cohez he been.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Trifling for a long time, though he ain't just started
last week.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
We'll have part two of your response coming up to
Steve at twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry Letters subjects
I wear the pants in the family. We'll get back
into it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. Hi,
this is Shirley's straw and I'm partnering with the leave.
(07:01):
Let me tell you it couldn't have come at a
better time. I'm owe some furniture around last weekend in
my new place. It turns out that was a really
bad idea because all that bending and lifting and pretending
I'm still twenty five didn't agree with my knees. So
I grabbed a leave because when my body pain shows up,
I need something that lasts with just one pill. A
(07:22):
leave lasts up to twelve hours. Don't let those aches
and pains hold you back from doing what's important to you.
Use as directed. All right, Steve, Come on, let's recap
today's strawberry letter. The subject I wear the pants in
the family.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Well, you know that's not cute for a woman to
have to say that she thirty two, She married to
a man that has never done or doesn't do any
physical work at all.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
He sells insurance like his daddy.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
His mother and father bought them the house, gave it
to him, so they don't have a house noe. And
he throws it up in her face all the time
that he pays all the bills.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
She works part time so.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
She can spend more time at home doing things around
the house and taking care care of the three sons.
She writing a letter because she feels that she's doing
some stuff that women shouldn't have to do. She done,
got the hornets and nets down off the porch, holds
down the driveway out of heavy rain.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
He saw her doing the work and he started laughing.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
He won't pick up a vacuum a mop, He don't
mow the lawn, He don't put his clothes in the
washing machine. I get the boy's haircuts once a month
and buy all their clothes. Now that that one the
troubles everybody there. Yeah, you know that's a ritual or
father taking his son to the barber shop. Yeah, that's
a rite of passage.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Man.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
So this dude right here, I mean, he's just he's
missing out on really some great moments. But he feels
as though since he's paying all the bills, that's all
he gotta do, and she buys all they clothes, which
they often hate. My husband even expects me to initiate sex.
He says we can do it whenever I want, because
(08:58):
he knows I'm usually tired from a full they're moving
around with the kids. I hate that for me. Well, okay,
you will do it whenever you want. M Okay, just
sound like something else is happening. But that ain't what's
in the letter, So don't throw that out there. I've
asked him to participate in this marriage, and he thinks
that this financial contribution is adequate. Yes, that's what a
(09:19):
lot of men think. I've been accused of that before
in my house. You know, Steve, it's not just about
taking care of everybody. Taking care means a lot of
other things, and I've had to have that bought to
my attention. So there are men who think that their
financial contribution is adequate. Don't go and joke with our friends.
(09:40):
Is that I wear the pants in this family? Well,
it ain't no longer fundy to me. She said, I
can go back to teaching full time, take care of
my boys without him. I can leave him in his
house that his parents got him and see how long
he can take care of it without me. His mom
is still living, and she agrees that her son can
do more to help me out, but she won't dare
mention it to him. I resent my husband more than ever.
(10:05):
This is to what this letter is all about. I
resent my husband more than ever. Can I give my
husband an ultimatum?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Or is he a lost cause? Please help me?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Now you have no choice and to issue the ultimatum.
And I think your ultimatum is in the letter. You
can say, I'm gonna go back to teaching full time,
take care of my boys without you, because you don't
do nothing anyway. And I can leave you with this
house that your parents bought you, and see how long
you can get along without me. Now that's the ultimatum
(10:36):
because I'm tired.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Of doing everything and you do nothing.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
I'm tired of you laughing at me, wash down the
driveway and get hornets, and that's down.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I'm tired of it.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
I'm tired of you thinking that all you got to
do is pay some bills and you've made your contribution. Well,
it's more than that. Your boys don't even know you.
I take him to get haircuts. I take them to
get haircuts. It's because the barber is really cute, and
(11:09):
they've often asked me where you were, and I told
him I don't know, but the barber did come to
the football game. So I think you got I need.
I think you need to get into the ultimatum business. Now,
the part about that he don't want sex unless you
want to out, that's the whole nother consention. I'm not
(11:33):
gonna throw that out there because that ain't nothing. But
the resentment that you have to your husband towards your
husband is real, and it's justified because you are doing
the most. Let me just say this to the men
out there. Just because you pay the bills, that's not
all too. Being a father and a husband is hard
(11:57):
work and it's a constant pull and tod. And I'm
not saying that being a mother is not because I
can't imagine what that is. They manufactured children, so and
to that, I there's nothing we can do the top that.
But this thing that you think because you bought some
money to the table, that's it.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Well, she bought three.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Lives into this world, and she manufactured and produced them,
and she takes care of everything.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
You got to issue ultimatum, lady, That's all I'm saying
to you.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
Got to get something going in your direction because the
resentment is not going to end unless you get some help.
Because like as women oftentimes say, I could be miserable
all by myself. That one thing about being miserable, you
don't need a lot of help. You just don't need
a lot of help to be miserable. You can do
(12:49):
that by yourself though. But then what's crazy is when
you got somebody adding to the misery.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Oh man, this.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Is troubling to me.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Steve this line in this letter where he says where
she says that he doesn't want sex unless she initiates it,
so she.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Does nothing, He'll do nothing, He'll.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Do nothing with her, Yeah, yeah, or the marriage, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
It's called something Else's happen, but that ain't what the
letter about. So no, I don't want to throw that
out there.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
But it's troubling though that it just really is what's
going on?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Why does she have to initiate it?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
All right?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook,
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Speaker 3 (13:43):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.