September 17, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm fifty three and I've been married twenty two years. I've been struggling with my husband's two female friends for twenty five years, since the day I met him. We met at an alumni ball and they were his dates. They had to approve of me before we got serious with each other. My husband's two female friends live next door to each other. Their husbands accepted my husband as their wives bonus husband. I never liked it, but I never said anything about it. Many nights, for many years, my husband has been partying over at one of their houses.........................................
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more.
Please baby, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEBARBFM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading
your letter live on the air, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now, and you
never know, it could be yours. It could be yours.
(00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is for Auberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject.
I went to her house to get my husband. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I'm fifty three and I've been married twenty
two years. I've been struggling with my husband's two female
friends for twenty five years, since the day I met him.
(00:43):
We met at an alumni ball and they were his dates.
They had to approve of me before we got serious
with each other. My husband's two female friends live next
door to each other. Their husbands accepted my husband as
their wives bonus husband. I never liked it, but I
never said anything about it. Many nights, for many years,
(01:05):
my husband has been partying over at one of their houses.
He never invited me to any of their parties.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
He always said that there would be drinking and they
would be playing cards all night.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I don't drink or play cards. My husband says that's
what he loved about me. Recently, I started using an
app to track our teenagers in case of emergency. I
added my husband to the app and forgot to tell
him Friday night, it worked in my favor. It was
late and my husband wasn't home yet, so I located
him on the app. He was at one of the
(01:36):
female friends' houses. I got up and I went to
get him. The back door was unlocked, and I walked
in and saw my husband, the ladies, their husbands, and
I counted eight more people. They were all in swimsuits,
and one of the white girls said they were about
to go skinny dipping in the lake. There is a
lake behind the houses, but the water is very nasty.
(01:59):
My husband and said it wasn't true, but he had
on his swim trunks. He pulled me aside and told
me not to ever embarrass him like that again. He's
been ignoring me for days. I know my behavior was
out of character, So how do I fix this? Those
females are a bad influence I hope that we can
work things out. Do you think I've lost him to
(02:20):
his friends? Well, you never had him from his friends.
He never left his friends. He just added you to
his mix and you became part of what he already
had going on. And you never did anything differently. So
it's the friends and then it's you. That's how it is.
You're not number one in his life. He doesn't consider
your feelings, he doesn't consider your position as his wife
(02:42):
in his life. That should be number one at all times.
You don't have to fix anything. You didn't do anything.
You've been dealing with this mess for twenty five years.
He's been with you and with them for that long.
You said you met them when you met him twenty
five years ago. How dare he try to slip it
on you and try to make you the problem and
now he's ignoring you. You are not the problem. You
(03:05):
just should have spoken up and not allowed this a
long time ago. He and his toxic, disrespectful relationship with
these so called female friends, that's the problem. So you
need to stop being okay with him going over there
and drinking and partying and playing cards all night. Okay,
that's what you need to do and stop allowing him
to make you feel like you did something to him,
(03:26):
because who was going to be skinny dipping with the
white girls? What were they there for? Okay? And he
was already in his trunks. He's got a lot of
explaining to do.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
He can stay over there with his female friends and
his swimming trunks, or come home and be a husband
to you.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Steve. We'll get to that white girl in a minute,
because that's what really what this whole damn letter about
to you. We'll get to the white girl in the minute,
cause I'm telling you right now that what the white
girl comes from, because that's what it is. I have
told y'all over and over and over about these female friends,
(04:02):
about friends of the opposite sex. I have told you
all about this over and over and over again. I
don't know why y'all think uncle Steve had lost his
damn mind. Well, Steve, you just oh, okay, all right, Okay,
I'll accept that, Steve. It ain't like that no more.
A lot of stuff ain't like it is, but it's
(04:24):
some things don't ever change. Now, I got all of
that that y'all saying about me, But I have told
y'all about these friends. Now, you've been married twenty two years.
You've been struggling with my husband's two female friends for
twenty five years. That's the day you met him with
twenty five years ago. You met him at an alumni
(04:46):
ball and both of them girls was his dates. They
had to approve of me before we got serious with
each other.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Girl.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
You ain't talking about his mama, You ain't talking about
his sister. You're talking about these two chicks. Now hear
the crazy part. Their husbands, the two females girls husbands
have accepted my husband's as their wives bonus husband. I
(05:26):
never liked it, but I never said anything about it.
Now I'm a little bit confused now because this is
not black activity. This is complete black activity. I'm starting to,
you know, in the words of Robin Thick, blurred lines,
we were dealing with some blurred lines here, because now
I'm starting to see what he a little later on
when the white girls was in the bikinis. Now I'm
(05:48):
starting to see where the white girl came from. Somebody,
somebody introduced that element to it, because I don't know
no black dudes that's cool with they wife having a
bonus husband. Boy, what man, you must have lost your
(06:13):
rabbit mind. So and many nights for years, your husband
been partying over at one of their house. He never
invited you to the parties because he said they'd be
drinking and playing cars, and you'll drink or play cars.
And that's what he say loved about you. And now
you done got this app to track your teenagers hit
the part I like in case of emergency, I added
(06:34):
my husband to the app, and I forgot to tell him.
You just said damn that you don't well.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Right, hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter subject I went to her house to
get my husband back after this.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
You're listening morning show. All right, come on, Steve, let's
recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is I went to
her house to get my Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Well, all right. She's got this lady that's been in
this relationship twenty five years with this man, been married
twenty two. She met him at an alumni ball and
his date was these two female friends that she has
she has a problem with. They've been friends this whole times.
Both of these girlfriends have husbands. The husbands have accepted
(07:23):
this woman's husband as their bonus husband. Now that throws
me off because that black people don't do that.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
I'm gonna be over Listen to me.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
That is really nothing black people do. But you know,
times have changed. You know it's different now, Stephen, it
might be different, but I tell you what they at different.
These friends I keep telling y'all about I play long.
So they've accepted him as a bonus husband. And she
always go over their house to party, and he say,
they go over there and they be drinking and playing cards.
She's never invited to come over there because she don't
(07:59):
drink or play cards. And he told her that's what
he loved about her. So that's always created a problem.
Now recently, she says she started using this app so
she could track their teenagers and I forgot to end,
but she added her husband to the app, and I
forgot to tell him, Yeah, that's not true. You know
(08:22):
what women don't do forget? Then you know that's why
I think women don't do forget. Oh, I forgot to
tell you, dog, women don't forget nothing. They don't forget
(08:42):
nothing done. So that was a bold face life. But
did she say? But it worked in my favor. It
was late. My husband wasn't home yet, so I located
him on the app. He was at one of the
female friends' houses. I got up and I went to
get him. The back door was unlocked and I walked in.
I saw my husbands, the ladies, they husband, and I
(09:06):
counted eight more people. They were all in swimsuits and
one one of the white girls, which means that was more.
One of the white girls said, they're about to go
skinny dipping in the lake. Skinny dipping in naked. Right,
(09:34):
there's a lake behind the house. But the water is
very nasty. It's nasty to you. But if it's dark outside,
it just looked like water. My husband said it wasn't true,
but he had on his swim trunk. Boy, you're sitting
(09:56):
up the damn nil in your drawers with this white girl,
one of the white girls, and said, y'all was good enough.
He pulled me outside and told me, don't you ever
embassed me like that again? Wow, good move, dog, because
the best defense is a good offense. That's what you
(10:17):
were supposed to do. But can I tell you how
dead wrong you are bro Yeah, and I'm not gonna
be able to save you on this one. Because you
were sitting up there in your swimming trunk. I thought
y'all was drinking and playing card. How's everybody in the house?
I walk in half naked, and then guess what? He's
been ignoring me for days? Now? Guess what this woman did.
(10:40):
I know my behavior was out of character, So how
do I fix this? Then guess what she said? Those
females are bad influence. I hope we can work things out.
Do you think I've lost him to his friends? Sureley said,
you ain't never had it. You haven't lost him to
(11:00):
the friends. You never had him because of the friends.
He didn't give up nothing to have to be with you.
He didn't have to give up nothing. He kept his
same lifestyle everything. He didn't change anything to be with you.
He made you accept what he was about, and he
wasn't about to change. He wasn't giving up the two friends.
Now twenty two years, you don't went over to the house.
(11:22):
They all got on swimsuits. Man, can you imagine being
somewhere and your spouse walk in and you sit up
in a room with two other couples and eight more
people and from white girls, and they got on swimsuits
and they're talking about pulled me outside, talking about don't
you ambarrass me like this? Hell is your clothes at.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
That's so crazy? Basically in your underwear.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
You really are And the white girl said, we send
to go outside and skinny gift. That's not true. I
was not going nowhere. But once you had your swimming
truncks on, true, ain't got no pool. Ain't no pool.
It's a lake. Can you describe that scene one more?
It looked like when you walked in, she walk in.
There's two couples in there. One of the couples is
(12:10):
in a mixed relationship, because that's how the eight more
people got over there, and the white girls was there.
Ain't no white girls just showed up. Four black people
are married. Ain't that? Don't that? Ain't adding y'all right?
Right right, but somebody is in an inner racial relationship.
(12:30):
And then brought this into the mix. And your husband
just over there, just clap it. He don't believe you
walked up in there. Everybody got on swim suits. Your
husband got on swimming trunks. He ready to go down
to the lake. Yes, he is in that nasty water?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
All right.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Up the Great Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook, and
the Strawberry Up in Here by Cats on the free
iHeartRadio app, where free never sounded so good. You could
download it today, Show me up in forty six minutes
(13:10):
after the hour, we got.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Sports talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening Hard
Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more.
Please baby, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEBARBFM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading
your letter live on the air, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now, and you
never know, it could be yours. It could be yours.
(00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is for Auberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject.
I went to her house to get my husband. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I'm fifty three and I've been married twenty
two years. I've been struggling with my husband's two female
friends for twenty five years, since the day I met him.
(00:43):
We met at an alumni ball and they were his dates.
They had to approve of me before we got serious
with each other. My husband's two female friends live next
door to each other. Their husbands accepted my husband as
their wives bonus husband. I never liked it, but I
never said anything about it. Many nights, for many years,
(01:05):
my husband has been partying over at one of their houses.
He never invited me to any of their parties.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
He always said that there would be drinking and they
would be playing cards all night.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I don't drink or play cards. My husband says that's
what he loved about me. Recently, I started using an
app to track our teenagers in case of emergency. I
added my husband to the app and forgot to tell
him Friday night, it worked in my favor. It was
late and my husband wasn't home yet, so I located
him on the app. He was at one of the
(01:36):
female friends' houses. I got up and I went to
get him. The back door was unlocked, and I walked
in and saw my husband, the ladies, their husbands, and
I counted eight more people. They were all in swimsuits,
and one of the white girls said they were about
to go skinny dipping in the lake. There is a
lake behind the houses, but the water is very nasty.
(01:59):
My husband and said it wasn't true, but he had
on his swim trunks. He pulled me aside and told
me not to ever embarrass him like that again. He's
been ignoring me for days. I know my behavior was
out of character, So how do I fix this? Those
females are a bad influence I hope that we can
work things out. Do you think I've lost him to
(02:20):
his friends? Well, you never had him from his friends.
He never left his friends. He just added you to
his mix and you became part of what he already
had going on. And you never did anything differently. So
it's the friends and then it's you. That's how it is.
You're not number one in his life. He doesn't consider
your feelings, he doesn't consider your position as his wife
(02:42):
in his life. That should be number one at all times.
You don't have to fix anything. You didn't do anything.
You've been dealing with this mess for twenty five years.
He's been with you and with them for that long.
You said you met them when you met him twenty
five years ago. How dare he try to slip it
on you and try to make you the problem and
now he's ignoring you. You are not the problem. You
(03:05):
just should have spoken up and not allowed this a
long time ago. He and his toxic, disrespectful relationship with
these so called female friends, that's the problem. So you
need to stop being okay with him going over there
and drinking and partying and playing cards all night. Okay,
that's what you need to do and stop allowing him
to make you feel like you did something to him,
(03:26):
because who was going to be skinny dipping with the
white girls? What were they there for? Okay? And he
was already in his trunks. He's got a lot of
explaining to do.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
He can stay over there with his female friends and
his swimming trunks, or come home and be a husband
to you.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Steve. We'll get to that white girl in a minute,
because that's what really what this whole damn letter about
to you. We'll get to the white girl in the minute,
cause I'm telling you right now that what the white
girl comes from, because that's what it is. I have
told y'all over and over and over about these female friends,
(04:02):
about friends of the opposite sex. I have told you
all about this over and over and over again. I
don't know why y'all think uncle Steve had lost his
damn mind. Well, Steve, you just oh, okay, all right, Okay,
I'll accept that, Steve. It ain't like that no more.
A lot of stuff ain't like it is, but it's
(04:24):
some things don't ever change. Now, I got all of
that that y'all saying about me, But I have told
y'all about these friends. Now, you've been married twenty two years.
You've been struggling with my husband's two female friends for
twenty five years. That's the day you met him with
twenty five years ago. You met him at an alumni
(04:46):
ball and both of them girls was his dates. They
had to approve of me before we got serious with
each other.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Girl.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
You ain't talking about his mama, You ain't talking about
his sister. You're talking about these two chicks. Now hear
the crazy part. Their husbands, the two females girls husbands
have accepted my husband's as their wives bonus husband. I
(05:26):
never liked it, but I never said anything about it.
Now I'm a little bit confused now because this is
not black activity. This is complete black activity. I'm starting to,
you know, in the words of Robin Thick, blurred lines,
we were dealing with some blurred lines here, because now
I'm starting to see what he a little later on
when the white girls was in the bikinis. Now I'm
(05:48):
starting to see where the white girl came from. Somebody,
somebody introduced that element to it, because I don't know
no black dudes that's cool with they wife having a
bonus husband. Boy, what man, you must have lost your
(06:13):
rabbit mind. So and many nights for years, your husband
been partying over at one of their house. He never
invited you to the parties because he said they'd be
drinking and playing cars, and you'll drink or play cars.
And that's what he say loved about you. And now
you done got this app to track your teenagers hit
the part I like in case of emergency, I added
(06:34):
my husband to the app, and I forgot to tell him.
You just said damn that you don't well.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Right, hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter subject I went to her house to
get my husband back after this.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
You're listening morning show. All right, come on, Steve, let's
recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is I went to
her house to get my Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Well, all right. She's got this lady that's been in
this relationship twenty five years with this man, been married
twenty two. She met him at an alumni ball and
his date was these two female friends that she has
she has a problem with. They've been friends this whole times.
Both of these girlfriends have husbands. The husbands have accepted
(07:23):
this woman's husband as their bonus husband. Now that throws
me off because that black people don't do that.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
I'm gonna be over Listen to me.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
That is really nothing black people do. But you know,
times have changed. You know it's different now, Stephen, it
might be different, but I tell you what they at different.
These friends I keep telling y'all about I play long.
So they've accepted him as a bonus husband. And she
always go over their house to party, and he say,
they go over there and they be drinking and playing cards.
She's never invited to come over there because she don't
(07:59):
drink or play cards. And he told her that's what
he loved about her. So that's always created a problem.
Now recently, she says she started using this app so
she could track their teenagers and I forgot to end,
but she added her husband to the app, and I
forgot to tell him, Yeah, that's not true. You know
(08:22):
what women don't do forget? Then you know that's why
I think women don't do forget. Oh, I forgot to
tell you, dog, women don't forget nothing. They don't forget
(08:42):
nothing done. So that was a bold face life. But
did she say? But it worked in my favor. It
was late. My husband wasn't home yet, so I located
him on the app. He was at one of the
female friends' houses. I got up and I went to
get him. The back door was unlocked and I walked in.
I saw my husbands, the ladies, they husband, and I
(09:06):
counted eight more people. They were all in swimsuits and
one one of the white girls, which means that was more.
One of the white girls said, they're about to go
skinny dipping in the lake. Skinny dipping in naked. Right,
(09:34):
there's a lake behind the house. But the water is
very nasty. It's nasty to you. But if it's dark outside,
it just looked like water. My husband said it wasn't true,
but he had on his swim trunk. Boy, you're sitting
(09:56):
up the damn nil in your drawers with this white girl,
one of the white girls, and said, y'all was good enough.
He pulled me outside and told me, don't you ever
embassed me like that again? Wow, good move, dog, because
the best defense is a good offense. That's what you
(10:17):
were supposed to do. But can I tell you how
dead wrong you are bro Yeah, and I'm not gonna
be able to save you on this one. Because you
were sitting up there in your swimming trunk. I thought
y'all was drinking and playing card. How's everybody in the house?
I walk in half naked, and then guess what? He's
been ignoring me for days? Now? Guess what this woman did.
(10:40):
I know my behavior was out of character, So how
do I fix this? Then guess what she said? Those
females are bad influence. I hope we can work things out.
Do you think I've lost him to his friends? Sureley said,
you ain't never had it. You haven't lost him to
(11:00):
the friends. You never had him because of the friends.
He didn't give up nothing to have to be with you.
He didn't have to give up nothing. He kept his
same lifestyle everything. He didn't change anything to be with you.
He made you accept what he was about, and he
wasn't about to change. He wasn't giving up the two friends.
Now twenty two years, you don't went over to the house.
(11:22):
They all got on swimsuits. Man, can you imagine being
somewhere and your spouse walk in and you sit up
in a room with two other couples and eight more
people and from white girls, and they got on swimsuits
and they're talking about pulled me outside, talking about don't
you ambarrass me like this? Hell is your clothes at.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
That's so crazy? Basically in your underwear.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
You really are And the white girl said, we send
to go outside and skinny gift. That's not true. I
was not going nowhere. But once you had your swimming
truncks on, true, ain't got no pool. Ain't no pool.
It's a lake. Can you describe that scene one more?
It looked like when you walked in, she walk in.
There's two couples in there. One of the couples is
(12:10):
in a mixed relationship, because that's how the eight more
people got over there, and the white girls was there.
Ain't no white girls just showed up. Four black people
are married. Ain't that? Don't that? Ain't adding y'all right?
Right right, but somebody is in an inner racial relationship.
(12:30):
And then brought this into the mix. And your husband
just over there, just clap it. He don't believe you
walked up in there. Everybody got on swim suits. Your
husband got on swimming trunks. He ready to go down
to the lake. Yes, he is in that nasty water?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
All right.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Up the Great Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook, and
the Strawberry Up in Here by Cats on the free
iHeartRadio app, where free never sounded so good. You could
download it today, Show me up in forty six minutes
(13:10):
after the hour, we got.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Sports talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening Hard
Morning Show
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