I’d Rather Be In Prison Than Live With Her

Dear Steve and Shirley, I was released from state prison a few months ago. While in prison for 23 months, I thought my girlfriend had my back and we’d get married when I came home. Boy was I wrong and I came home to a situation that was worse than prison. I was released to my own home, with my girlfriend, who has been staying in my home while I was in prison. It was supposed to be a joyous homecoming, but instead, I walked into hell........................

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and click
submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live
on the air, just like we're gonna read this one
right here, right now. Bugle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you. Here it is the Strawberry Letter.

(00:24):
All right, guys. You guys didn't like this title, but
here it is the subject. I'd rather be in prison
than live with her, Dear Stephen Shirley. I was released
from state prison a few months ago. While in prison
for twenty three months, I thought my girlfriend had my
back and we get married. When I came home, boy

(00:45):
was I wrong. And I came home to a situation
that was worse than prison. I was released to my
own home with my girlfriend, who has been staying in
my home while I was in prison. It was supposed
to be a joyous homecoming, but instead I walked into hell.
My girlfriend has turned into a conniving, cheating, and very

(01:07):
immature person. I don't know what happened while I was away,
but I thank god I got to see who she
really is. Before I married her, I found out that
she's been cheating on me and the guy was all
up in my house all of the time. She also
hasn't been doing the upkeep on my house, and it's filthy.
Along with real life obstacles I'll face as a convicted felon,

(01:31):
she has run up my credit cards, mismanaged a lot
of my money, and destroyed my credit. I've told her
it's over and asked her to move out several times,
but she said it's her house too, and she's not
going anywhere. I can't raise my voice at her or
touch a hair on her head because I live in
constant fear that she may use the criminal justice justice

(01:54):
system as a weapon against me. It's back to jail
I go. If I have any police contact, other guys
call her and she'll go in another room and talk
to them, and I can't say a word to her
about it. I am living in sheer hell. I thought
about calling my parole officer to explain what's going on,
but I don't want to get anyone involved in my

(02:15):
business like that. I do not need relationship advice. I
need advice on how to get away from her. So
I can have peace and get situated back into my community.
How can I handle this? Yeah, well, you know, we
give relationship advice here, that is what we do. But
we'll see what we can do to help you, sir,

(02:37):
because we don't want you to go back to prison.
That's definitely what we don't want. And first of all,
let me say this. I need you to be as
nice to her as you possibly can while she's in
your home and until the day she leaves. Okay, yeah,
keep it up. Keep it up. This will I'm sure

(02:58):
have to involve some are skilled acting on your part.
You're you're doing a great job so far. Just keep
it up. But like you say, you can't give her
any reason at all to suspect you're up to anything.
You don't want her calling the police. You don't want
to go back to prison, So I'll just say, start
building a support system. You know you're out now, start,

(03:21):
you know, dealing with people that you know have your back,
like family members, people that you can trust, friends like
I say, have your back, maybe a pastor, maybe someone
who has knowledge of the law, real estate, all of that.
You need to find out your rights as a homeowner.
You have you know you gotta be smart in this.

(03:42):
You gotta be strategic again, you don't want her finding
out anything. This woman sounds like the devil himself sent
her to your house, so you definitely need to have
God on your side. That's why I mentioned a pastor.
If you're gonna, you know, get her out of your house.
I'm saying all of this. I don't even know why
you went in prison and spent two years, almost two

(04:03):
years to begin with, but the tone of your letter
sounds like it comes from a decent man. I'm gonna
say you're a decent man. You know. Anytime you say
you'd rather be in prison than in the comfort of
your own home, I just think it's think it's a
major problem and having this woman who has taken over
your home and basically your life is beyond unsettling and

(04:25):
she needs to go. So I just say, please get
a plan together, her together to get her out. Now,
write it down, but you know, never let her know
what you're doing, because you don't want to upset her
or alert her or anything like that. But you can
get her out of your house. It's just gonna take
a plan. Steve, Yeah, bron I don't know what to

(04:46):
say to you in this letter. Honestly, man, it stup.
I feel for you, I really really do. Man, you
did your time for whatever the mistake boys you made.
Thought your girl had your back, y'all was gonna get married. Boy,
were you wrong? You came to a situation worst in prison.
Now let me say this. You're saying that you're glad

(05:06):
you'll find out that she's been staying in your home
while you was in prison, and it was supposed to
be a joyous home coming, but you walked into hell.
She's turned into a conniving, cheating and very immature person.
I don't know what happened while I was away, but
here's the deal. I thank god I got to see
who she really is before I married her, being that's

(05:28):
the good thing. Somebody sent me a text one time,
and I'll try to see if I can find it
while i'm talking to you. But sometimes, and I've often
said this to women, the blessing is in the breakup,
and you've got to realize what that is when you
get it. I think you had a blessing, And so

(05:49):
I'm trying to find this thing that someone sent me
about this situation you're in. First of all, young, brother,
here's what it is. It says, don't worry about the
people God removed from your life. He heard conversations you didn't,
saw things you couldn't, and made moves you wouldn't. Now, brother,

(06:14):
you seem like a good man. I'm going to assume
that this crime you went to jail forwards federal prison,
and you did some federal time, and you probably did
some type of white collar crime. I don't really know
what it is. I know it's a non violent offense.
Let's just say that you did twenty three months, you

(06:35):
got out. All right, Steve, we'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Subject for today, I'd rather be in prison than live
with her. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening, all right, Steve, Come on, let's recap today's

(06:58):
Strawberry Letters. Subject I'd rather be in prison than live
with her. Well, brother, I know what you're saying, but
we can't go back to prison. I don't think you're
trying to do that. So we're faced with this situation.
This woman has turned out to be a cheata. Here's
the upside you found out just in time you didn't

(07:20):
marry her. All you got to do now is get
her out your house. Now, there are ways to file
for this, I'm sure now you being a convicted felon,
that's going to create a couple of problems because once
you go down there and you include the court system
to get her put out the house, all she got
to do with spin and line on you, and she

(07:42):
may do the dirty on you just so she can
go back to business as usual. So you have to
be extremely careful and cunning here. You had a house
that you still manage to keep. She's ran up all
your credit, she's ruined your money, and she's been in
your house. Well at leasha had a house. So we
gotta get smart here. Man. You gotta go over a

(08:06):
couple of friends house. You gotta get some measures taken
legally that can help you out. In the meantime, spend
as less time as home as you can until you
find a way to work through this legally. But then
you're gonna have to spend time away from the house
because if you stay there, she can get you jammed up.
All she gotta do is call nine one one one

(08:28):
time they come to your house, bro and you backed up. Now.
I know you say you rather go to prison and
live with her, but you really don't mean that, because
nothing happens when you locked up. Nothing. So get with
a friend, Get with some smart friends, because you got
some smart friends. Get yourself some knowledge about what you
can do, Move out of there and start the process then,

(08:51):
and don't go nowhere near her. Put a restraining order
on yourself before she asked for one. See if you
don't go over there by her dog, she can't put
a restraint in order on it. That's the worst thing
can happen to a convicted fella. You start getting some
of those insinuated charges, and when you're on probation, man,

(09:12):
you can't do nothing. You can't have police contact you.
Already know that they can set you down for violation
or parole and you could be in there for up
to a year before they even bring in front of
a judge. You know how this system works. Man, So
I feel badly for you, brother, but surely did the
right thing and told you the right thing. I think
you should separate yourself from a situation because it sounds

(09:32):
like you're gonna get in deep and ain't gonna it
ain't gonna donna lead you down the dark role, man,
And don't put yourself out there. Don't throw your freedom away. Brother.
She is not worth it. The cheating, immature, stealing, low down,
perfect person, disrespectful, now noncommittal. It ain't worth it, bro, Yeah,

(09:54):
it ain't worth it. And don't let her know anything
you're doing. Please. Well, that's terrible. That's like a real
document everything you do. True. Yeah, that's everything. That's everything.
Whose house you're staying over? Where was you at? Pictures?
Time checks? Who paying for the house? Who's paying for

(10:16):
that house? Is his house? His house? Yeah, he's not
paying for it, but yeah, she said it was her house. Yeah.
But if the bank kick everybody at Yeah, yeah, he
wanted to get with Steve, that's one way to do

(10:39):
it because he sounds like a really nice guy. Man. Yeah,
that's an ugly situation for this guy to be in, man,
because this woman could hurt him. It's a real because
he's on probation. Yeah, he walking on eggshells. Yeah. I
like the fact that you said, don't stay there. You know,
he's got the family, he's got friends, you know, Yes, right,

(11:02):
good out from around her. Yes, Junior, what you got.
I just have suggested. Man, you know, that's one way.
For closure could be one way. But I have a
lot of experience for pro officers and all that type
of stuff, a lot of family members that have been
through that. But one thing we could do people that
he met while he was in there, if you know,
they out, we could use this to our been. We

(11:23):
could scare her out the house. Good, Junior, I'm just
saying we could scare an. Don't you think we thought
of that? You don't. You don't think they're gonna be
able to tie him? Also, he wasn't trying to keep
him out to be No, Junior, Steve logical. We can't

(11:45):
do that, Junior. I'm sorry, I know you want to.
He's got kind of go by the book on this one.
That's any false move, he could go back in, and
that's what we're trying to avoid. But he could tell
his pro officer what's going on, because you got an
update the butt of status. You know. I like the
fact that he said I don't need relationship advice too,
because he knows that's over No, that's over with. Yeah,

(12:06):
that's really sad. Yeah, it really is, it really really is.
She's taking advantage of him, and she's going to take
advantage of the judicial system, and he's smart enough to
know that. Yeah, yeah, no one said. He didn't say
how long he's on parole either. You know, this could

(12:27):
be going on for quite a while. But yeah, he's
got to get rid of her, get her out of
his house and out of his life. Man, I don't
rather be in prison or I'll sleep in the car fire,
I'll go to jail. Yeah that ain't no damn option.
Like you can't even go to the stove. Yeah, I'm

(12:49):
gonna swing around and need a cheap pilate. They don't
have that in prison, right, Okay, all right, guys, post
your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM
on Instagram and Facebook, and please check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on demand now coming up at forty six
minutes after the hour. You know what time it is,
It's time for Junior Sports Talk Week Up Sports Junior Now,

(13:13):
we'll talk about it right after this. Yeah, you're listening
to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.