October 6, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter, heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, Monday, October 6th, 2025. Subject: "In Love & Terrified"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please
submit your Strawberry letter one of those juicy ones, to
Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We
could be reading your letter live on the air, just
like we're going to read this one right here, right now,
And you never know it could be yours, all right,
(00:22):
You just never know. Bunk about hold on type. We
got it for you here. It is just Strawberry letter.
Subject and love and terrified. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm thirty
two and my boyfriend and I have been together for
six months. He's a great guy and everything I hope
for in my second husband. Yes I say husband, because
(00:43):
he's been talking about marriage already. We're both divorced and
ready to settle down, so we got the important stuff
out of the way early on. I get along great
with his parents, and my mother loves him. He's in
a rental and I own my home, so he's planning
to move in with me. I have fallen for this
man and I can't see myself living without him. But
(01:06):
there's one thing I don't love and that's his size.
The first time I got married, I was really young
and it experienced, and I had no idea how small
my first husband was. I had nothing to compare to
because he's the only other man I've been with. The
first time I was intimate with my current boyfriend, I
(01:28):
called my doctor the next day because I was sure
something was broken below. She let me know that everything
was fine, and she gave me some items that would
help with intimacy. None of that stuff works, and I
feel like I am letting my boyfriend down every time
he tries to make love to me. We talked about it,
and he assured me that he loves me and he'll
(01:50):
be patient with me. He also told me that he's
never had this problem with the female before. My doctor
told me there's nothing wrong with my body. He's just
too large. I'm terrified whenever he starts coming on to me,
but I try to play it off. We had a
(02:10):
hated talk about our sex life recently, and he admitted
that he's disappointed and this could be a big deal
breaker for him. How can he make our intimacy the
main focus? Does this mean we're not compatible?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
This letter threw me a bit in the beginning, and
I got to say, this is a problem that many
women would love to have, and I'm sure many men
would love to have the same problem. We've had many men,
many letters about the size of men and all of this,
but it's usually I have that problem. Go ahead, I'm sorry.
We've had many letters about the size of men, but
(02:48):
usually it's a complaint about them being too small, which
was the case, you say with your first husband. But
we've never had a letter if I can remember, Steve.
I don't know if I can remember about a being
too large, And I guess there's the first time or everything.
You say. Your new man is way too much for you,
and now you're terrified to have sex with him. But
(03:12):
you've checked with your doctor, and you've been checked by her,
and she said you were okay, and actually she said
you were better than okay. She said you were fine.
He said, your new man said he would be patient
with you, but his patience is running out. This could
be a deal breaker for him, he's saying, and you know,
I guess understandably so, because he would want to have
(03:33):
sex with you if you're going to be his wife.
But you still haven't been able to. Then you said
your doctor also said there's nothing wrong with your body
and he's just too large. I mean, I don't really
know what to tell you in this in this situation.
I mean, you guys might not be comp compatible. You know,
(03:54):
there could be such a thing as this going along.
I mean, women have babies every day and all of this.
But listen, I don't know what to tell you, honestly,
unless it's mental or something like that. If you can't physically,
you can't, but the doctor. Listen to what the doctor said. Steve.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Wow, Well, you know I understand Shirley. Do you say,
we've never had a letter like this and everything? But
you know this is like this is like so so
up my Alex people for writing in and you know,
because game, you know, you know, Game recognized game right,
(04:34):
and uh so I have a solution, but we're gonna
have to get to the solution in the second half
of this talk. Let's just go over some fact because
I'm too like Shirley, I was very confused at the
beginning of the letter because he's everything you wanted in
your second husband. You're both divorced, You've gotten all them
important stuff out of the way. You get along with
(04:54):
his parents and mom, your mama love him. You know
he's in a rental. I own a home. Your sounds
like something for me. We was talking about off the app.
He's planning to move in with me. You know, I
fell for this man. I can't see living without him.
Blah blah blah blah. And then there's one thing you
don't love that's his size. Now quite natural. I'm probably
(05:16):
like Shelley, was reading this letter, thinking, well, very small.
We got a small problem exactly, you know, got something
he ain't. But then first time I got married, you know,
then you started talking about how you was young and
inexperience and you had no idea how small your first
husband was cause you didn't have nothing to compare it to.
And then you got intimate with his current boyfriend, and
(05:38):
you call your doctor the next day because I was
sure something was broken below, which means you know, you know,
you know, you know, putting it in work, you know
it's just up in there. You know he was whoop,
he was aggressive. Let's just say he was overly aggressive.
You thought something had broke. She let me know that
(05:58):
everything was fine, and she gave me some items that
could help with intimacy. I don't know what that was.
You know I have well, I do know what they
gave you, but you know that ain't what it's led about.
None of that stuff works. I know that's called homeboy.
And you know I got some I got some stuff.
You need to give him. You need to give him
(06:19):
some stuff because none of that stuff work. And I
feel like I'm letting him down every time. I try
to make it going on and I'll come back. I
had to answer for you.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Hold it all right. We'll have part two of SE's
crazy Response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry Letters subject in love and terrified. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey
Morning Show. Hey everyone, quick health question. Even though you're
(06:54):
still thriving, still loving, still connecting, did you know your
immune system weakens with age. That's where vaccines come in.
They helped train and strengthen your immune response to fight
off certain respiratory illnesses like flu, newmacacle, pneumonia, RSV, and
COVID nineteen this fall, ask your doctor which vaccines you
need and visit vacxsist dot com. That's vaexsist dot com
(07:18):
to schedule one or more of vaccines sponsored by Pfizer.
Come on Steve Let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
is in love and terrified.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Well, it's thirty two year old girl and fell and
found a man. Her dreams, second marriage for both of them.
Everything worked out everything, she own a home, he ran,
He gonna move in with her. The girl mama loving parents,
love her, everything going on. She has a problem with
his size though I thought he was too small, turned
out through his just opposite because she didn't know how
small a first husband was because she didn't had nothing
(07:51):
to compare it to, so she thought he was doing something.
Then when homeboy came in there and put his work
helmet on. See, homeboy came in, set that igloo cooler
down next year to bed and put that put that
hat on, that hard hat on, and set that he
glue cooler down next to the bed, and crawled up
in there on one knee off that bed, and he
went up in there and went to work. He came
(08:12):
up in there, boy like a grown man, came up
in there with you know who, the wheel. He came
up with some artillery or came up in the there.
You know, he up in there with he came up
there with military terms and and and and and and
you know, excavation devices, and came up in there with
missile launchers and calls. Hauled up in there with stuff
(08:33):
million with. You know, you're in here playing with this
little boy, had their little teddy bad the boy and
came up in their bed with some stuff that they
don't even sell in the g I Joe Ale no more,
you know. So he came up in there and putting
it in work and it came up there. So what
you went to doctor next day? You thought this man
broke something because he be in there just clowned. You know,
he all he up on all ten of his toes
(08:54):
just flex He just got his toes flexed. He up
in there and just so anyway, we have a problem.
And now the doctor then gave you some stuff to
help you deal with this. But the problem ain't you,
because there's nothing wrong with you. It's just the doctor
told you he's too large. So see he got started
(09:15):
taking stuff. You know, so I don't I don't tell
you this hell, but you got to you got to
get him to the point where he gets excited a
lot quicker. It's what I'm trying to tell you. You got
to get him to get to where he going faster
so he ain't in there creating damage. And so what
(09:39):
I'm about to tell you is how this is going
to work. Doctor told he's nothing wrong with your body.
He's just too large. I'm terrified when he starts coming
on me, but I play it off. We had a
heat to talk about our sex life easily. He admitted
he's disappointed and this could be a big deal break
up for him because he's never had this problem with
a female before. He says, he's never had this problem
(10:00):
with the female before, but he ain't with nobody. Or
is it he's had a problem some women that just
walked out us his life, just got up, got in
the car, drove off and never called back. Not Finn
to do this, No more with you, jus his partner.
You ain't finna come up in the hill like you're
looking for all every evening. Were not Finn do this?
(10:22):
So how can he make our intimacy the main focus?
Does this mean we're not compatible? Well, here's what has
to happen. You have to have a talk with this
young man because he's thirty two. See, he going going
at this the same way he been going at it,
and it's creating a problem for you. So now here's
(10:44):
what has to happen. He has to change his depth perception.
He has to change his depth perception.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Meaning he has to change what he thinked deep is. See,
it's like a swimming pool and a cave. And these
are the two analogies I have for you. See, you
can drown in five feet of water, or you can
build you a swimming pool. It's got a thirteen foot
(11:18):
end on it with a diving board, but you can
drown in three feet of water. So what you got
to do is get him to start drowning in less water,
which means he got to quit jumping in this pool
like he on the deep end. He got to come
on on this shaller end and get involved in the
(11:42):
water in a different way. The church say, man, a man, man,
I know y'all don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, See,
he got to say, let me give you an example.
He is a cave dweller. He is a man with
a helmet on with a mining light, and he liked
(12:03):
to go in caves. What he has to learn is
he can't go all the way in the cave. He
gonna have to get happy by just being indicave can't
go all the way to the back of this cave.
He has to learn to stay at the front of
(12:23):
the cave because it's too much.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Back then, we got it, see thank you.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
He got to learn how to stay at the front
of the cave. Now, well, what you have to do
is you have to make the front of the cave
the focal point. It has to be everything. Got it.
I have a lot of knowledge on this subject because
I've had you know, I've had to be understanding and
(12:52):
I just you know, I just talked to people had
the best life they can have. Now, are they compatible?
Not sexually? They're not compatible sexually. And it's not going
to work unless he changes a couple of things. His
death perception. He got us. He has to change what
he thinks is deep. And then he had to play
(13:15):
at the front of the cave and quit trying to
go all in the back.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Poster comments on today's Strawberry Letters, We got it. Check
out the Strawberry Letter podcast light A. You're listening to
the Steve Harvey Morning Show,
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please
submit your Strawberry letter one of those juicy ones, to
Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We
could be reading your letter live on the air, just
like we're going to read this one right here, right now,
And you never know it could be yours, all right,
(00:22):
You just never know. Bunk about hold on type. We
got it for you here. It is just Strawberry letter.
Subject and love and terrified. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm thirty
two and my boyfriend and I have been together for
six months. He's a great guy and everything I hope
for in my second husband. Yes I say husband, because
(00:43):
he's been talking about marriage already. We're both divorced and
ready to settle down, so we got the important stuff
out of the way early on. I get along great
with his parents, and my mother loves him. He's in
a rental and I own my home, so he's planning
to move in with me. I have fallen for this
man and I can't see myself living without him. But
(01:06):
there's one thing I don't love and that's his size.
The first time I got married, I was really young
and it experienced, and I had no idea how small
my first husband was. I had nothing to compare to
because he's the only other man I've been with. The
first time I was intimate with my current boyfriend, I
(01:28):
called my doctor the next day because I was sure
something was broken below. She let me know that everything
was fine, and she gave me some items that would
help with intimacy. None of that stuff works, and I
feel like I am letting my boyfriend down every time
he tries to make love to me. We talked about it,
and he assured me that he loves me and he'll
(01:50):
be patient with me. He also told me that he's
never had this problem with the female before. My doctor
told me there's nothing wrong with my body. He's just
too large. I'm terrified whenever he starts coming on to me,
but I try to play it off. We had a
(02:10):
hated talk about our sex life recently, and he admitted
that he's disappointed and this could be a big deal
breaker for him. How can he make our intimacy the
main focus? Does this mean we're not compatible?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
This letter threw me a bit in the beginning, and
I got to say, this is a problem that many
women would love to have, and I'm sure many men
would love to have the same problem. We've had many men,
many letters about the size of men and all of this,
but it's usually I have that problem. Go ahead, I'm sorry.
We've had many letters about the size of men, but
(02:48):
usually it's a complaint about them being too small, which
was the case, you say with your first husband. But
we've never had a letter if I can remember, Steve.
I don't know if I can remember about a being
too large, And I guess there's the first time or everything.
You say. Your new man is way too much for you,
and now you're terrified to have sex with him. But
(03:12):
you've checked with your doctor, and you've been checked by her,
and she said you were okay, and actually she said
you were better than okay. She said you were fine.
He said, your new man said he would be patient
with you, but his patience is running out. This could
be a deal breaker for him, he's saying, and you know,
I guess understandably so, because he would want to have
(03:33):
sex with you if you're going to be his wife.
But you still haven't been able to. Then you said
your doctor also said there's nothing wrong with your body
and he's just too large. I mean, I don't really
know what to tell you in this in this situation.
I mean, you guys might not be comp compatible. You know,
(03:54):
there could be such a thing as this going along.
I mean, women have babies every day and all of this.
But listen, I don't know what to tell you, honestly,
unless it's mental or something like that. If you can't physically,
you can't, but the doctor. Listen to what the doctor said. Steve.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Wow, Well, you know I understand Shirley. Do you say,
we've never had a letter like this and everything? But
you know this is like this is like so so
up my Alex people for writing in and you know,
because game, you know, you know, Game recognized game right,
(04:34):
and uh so I have a solution, but we're gonna
have to get to the solution in the second half
of this talk. Let's just go over some fact because
I'm too like Shirley, I was very confused at the
beginning of the letter because he's everything you wanted in
your second husband. You're both divorced, You've gotten all them
important stuff out of the way. You get along with
(04:54):
his parents and mom, your mama love him. You know
he's in a rental. I own a home. Your sounds
like something for me. We was talking about off the app.
He's planning to move in with me. You know, I
fell for this man. I can't see living without him.
Blah blah blah blah. And then there's one thing you
don't love that's his size. Now quite natural. I'm probably
(05:16):
like Shelley, was reading this letter, thinking, well, very small.
We got a small problem exactly, you know, got something
he ain't. But then first time I got married, you know,
then you started talking about how you was young and
inexperience and you had no idea how small your first
husband was cause you didn't have nothing to compare it to.
And then you got intimate with his current boyfriend, and
(05:38):
you call your doctor the next day because I was
sure something was broken below, which means you know, you know,
you know, you know, putting it in work, you know
it's just up in there. You know he was whoop,
he was aggressive. Let's just say he was overly aggressive.
You thought something had broke. She let me know that
(05:58):
everything was fine, and she gave me some items that
could help with intimacy. I don't know what that was.
You know I have well, I do know what they
gave you, but you know that ain't what it's led about.
None of that stuff works. I know that's called homeboy.
And you know I got some I got some stuff.
You need to give him. You need to give him
(06:19):
some stuff because none of that stuff work. And I
feel like I'm letting him down every time. I try
to make it going on and I'll come back. I
had to answer for you.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Hold it all right. We'll have part two of SE's
crazy Response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry Letters subject in love and terrified. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey
Morning Show. Hey everyone, quick health question. Even though you're
(06:54):
still thriving, still loving, still connecting, did you know your
immune system weakens with age. That's where vaccines come in.
They helped train and strengthen your immune response to fight
off certain respiratory illnesses like flu, newmacacle, pneumonia, RSV, and
COVID nineteen this fall, ask your doctor which vaccines you
need and visit vacxsist dot com. That's vaexsist dot com
(07:18):
to schedule one or more of vaccines sponsored by Pfizer.
Come on Steve Let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
is in love and terrified.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Well, it's thirty two year old girl and fell and
found a man. Her dreams, second marriage for both of them.
Everything worked out everything, she own a home, he ran,
He gonna move in with her. The girl mama loving parents,
love her, everything going on. She has a problem with
his size though I thought he was too small, turned
out through his just opposite because she didn't know how
small a first husband was because she didn't had nothing
(07:51):
to compare it to, so she thought he was doing something.
Then when homeboy came in there and put his work
helmet on. See, homeboy came in, set that igloo cooler
down next year to bed and put that put that
hat on, that hard hat on, and set that he
glue cooler down next to the bed, and crawled up
in there on one knee off that bed, and he
went up in there and went to work. He came
(08:12):
up in there, boy like a grown man, came up
in there with you know who, the wheel. He came
up with some artillery or came up in the there.
You know, he up in there with he came up
there with military terms and and and and and and
you know, excavation devices, and came up in there with
missile launchers and calls. Hauled up in there with stuff
(08:33):
million with. You know, you're in here playing with this
little boy, had their little teddy bad the boy and
came up in their bed with some stuff that they
don't even sell in the g I Joe Ale no more,
you know. So he came up in there and putting
it in work and it came up there. So what
you went to doctor next day? You thought this man
broke something because he be in there just clowned. You know,
he all he up on all ten of his toes
(08:54):
just flex He just got his toes flexed. He up
in there and just so anyway, we have a problem.
And now the doctor then gave you some stuff to
help you deal with this. But the problem ain't you,
because there's nothing wrong with you. It's just the doctor
told you he's too large. So see he got started
(09:15):
taking stuff. You know, so I don't I don't tell
you this hell, but you got to you got to
get him to the point where he gets excited a
lot quicker. It's what I'm trying to tell you. You got
to get him to get to where he going faster
so he ain't in there creating damage. And so what
(09:39):
I'm about to tell you is how this is going
to work. Doctor told he's nothing wrong with your body.
He's just too large. I'm terrified when he starts coming
on me, but I play it off. We had a
heat to talk about our sex life easily. He admitted
he's disappointed and this could be a big deal break
up for him because he's never had this problem with
a female before. He says, he's never had this problem
(10:00):
with the female before, but he ain't with nobody. Or
is it he's had a problem some women that just
walked out us his life, just got up, got in
the car, drove off and never called back. Not Finn
to do this, No more with you, jus his partner.
You ain't finna come up in the hill like you're
looking for all every evening. Were not Finn do this?
(10:22):
So how can he make our intimacy the main focus?
Does this mean we're not compatible? Well, here's what has
to happen. You have to have a talk with this
young man because he's thirty two. See, he going going
at this the same way he been going at it,
and it's creating a problem for you. So now here's
(10:44):
what has to happen. He has to change his depth perception.
He has to change his depth perception.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Meaning he has to change what he thinked deep is. See,
it's like a swimming pool and a cave. And these
are the two analogies I have for you. See, you
can drown in five feet of water, or you can
build you a swimming pool. It's got a thirteen foot
(11:18):
end on it with a diving board, but you can
drown in three feet of water. So what you got
to do is get him to start drowning in less water,
which means he got to quit jumping in this pool
like he on the deep end. He got to come
on on this shaller end and get involved in the
(11:42):
water in a different way. The church say, man, a man, man,
I know y'all don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, See,
he got to say, let me give you an example.
He is a cave dweller. He is a man with
a helmet on with a mining light, and he liked
(12:03):
to go in caves. What he has to learn is
he can't go all the way in the cave. He
gonna have to get happy by just being indicave can't
go all the way to the back of this cave.
He has to learn to stay at the front of
(12:23):
the cave because it's too much.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Back then, we got it, see thank you.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
He got to learn how to stay at the front
of the cave. Now, well, what you have to do
is you have to make the front of the cave
the focal point. It has to be everything. Got it.
I have a lot of knowledge on this subject because
I've had you know, I've had to be understanding and
(12:52):
I just you know, I just talked to people had
the best life they can have. Now, are they compatible?
Not sexually? They're not compatible sexually. And it's not going
to work unless he changes a couple of things. His
death perception. He got us. He has to change what
he thinks is deep. And then he had to play
(13:15):
at the front of the cave and quit trying to
go all in the back.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Poster comments on today's Strawberry Letters, We got it. Check
out the Strawberry Letter podcast light A. You're listening to
the Steve Harvey Morning Show,
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