October 21, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Tuesday, October 21st, 2025. Subject: "Is My Husband Getting Tired Of Being With Me"
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationship, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVEFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you nephews. Subject is my husband tired of being
with me? Dear Stephen Shirley. I saw a lady story
online where she and her husband were on vacation and
she was doing a lot of videos of him and
her and he would look at her and he looked
irritated by her. She noticed it on the video and
called him out for it. It went viral online, and
(00:46):
I think they're getting a divorce now. I'm going through
the same situation with my husband of twelve years. But
I can't afford to do something that I might regret,
So I need advice on how to fix my husband
or fix my my marriage, or whatever I need to
do so I don't ruin my children's lives. About four
years ago, I noticed a change in my husband and
(01:08):
it seemed like he was tired of me. He stopped
being silly with me, and he would sit silent across
from me in the mornings when we had breakfast together.
He started only doing things with me if the kids
were involved. Sex was different, and he didn't have any
passion in it anymore. Last Christmas, he didn't want to
dress up like me and the kids for our annual
(01:29):
family photo, so I skipped it and the kids were bummed.
I started inviting him on dates and he always refused.
He started calling me silly, childish, and at times ratchet.
I'm never ratchet, and he used to love joking around
with me and playing pranks on the kids. I stopped
talking to him for a few days and he didn't
even care. It makes me think that he is tired
(01:52):
of me after fifteen years of being with me. He
doesn't treat the kids differently, just me. And before you ask,
I have not gained any weight and I can still
drop it like it's hot. So please tell me what's
going on with my man. Is this fixable or is
this a sign that my marriage is in trouble. If
it's fixable, where do we start?
Speaker 3 (02:15):
OK?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yeah, I know a couple of things right off the bed. First,
I'm sorry you're going through all of this. This I
really am. I know this hurts. I do believe some
bad marriages are fixable, but it depends on what the
bad is.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
You don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
You just say your man has changed towards you, and
that this happens around four years ago. I mean, it's
hard to think that you've allowed yourself to be treated
this way for four long years. You say you don't
want to ruin it for the kids, which I understand,
but what about you? And I'll also say this, depending
(02:51):
on how old your kids are, they can sense if
something's wrong between their parents, you know, if there's no love,
if he's treating you differently and all that. I'm glad
you're no longer in denial though, because yes, he has
checked all the way out of this marriage and now
he doesn't want to do things with the kids either.
But back to you, I'm glad you've kept yourself together.
(03:13):
You said you haven't gained any weight. You could still
drop it like it's hot because this is a mess.
Instead of not talking to him like you tried to
do and gotten a response. You said he didn't care
at all. You need to talk to this man. I mean,
he at least owes you some sort of explanation about
his change and behavior, because based on what you've told us,
(03:34):
it does sound very much like he's got another woman
stash somewhere and he's kicked you to the curb as
simple as that. He's out of this marriage.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Wow, wow, he got another woman somewhere.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Uh huh, yeah, stash somewhere.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Wow wow.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
She never mentioned in this letter that she's seen any
signs of him cheating. She never mentioned in the letter
that he's always on his phone texting someone. He doesn't
come home at night. So where you got another woman from?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I do not know.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Let's go down to the bottom of the letter. If
it's fixable, where do we start. Well, ma'am, I'm gonna
give you a real hope, because this marriage is fixable.
Sureley is right about something, though. You all have got
to communicate, because you have to remember something.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
In a marriage, both people.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
From the day you say I do, both of you
begin to change because nothing stays the same. Everybody changes
in life. I don't care who you are. You are
not the way you work fifteen years. You are not
the same person you was twenty twenty five years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
You're just not. You might think you are, but you're not.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
And a lot of times when these changes occur, when
we're not communicating, we end up not liking the person
that the other person has become, or we don't like
who we've become. But the key, as Shirley said, is communication.
(05:34):
You said you noticed four years ago that he stopped
being silly with you. He would sit across from you
in the mornings when you had breakfast together. You know,
he only does things with you if the kids is involved.
So basically, what I'm saying is this, this marriage can
(05:55):
be fixed, but we have to start with what's wrong.
Because something has changed in you and something has changed
in him, and the two new people that you have become,
one of them don't like the other person. And right
now it looks like it's your husband has changed in
(06:19):
some way and he ain't told you what the change was,
and you haven't discussed what the change was. Now if
the change is someone else, as Sureley has.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Suggested, but it could not be the case.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
All right, We're gonna have part two of Steve's response
coming up in twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's
Strawberry Letters subject is my husband tired of being with me.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
DraftKings for Book, an official sports betting partner of the
Nbaight is the place to bet on NBA stars this season.
Download the Draft Kings Sportsbook app and use code Steve Harvey.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
That's code Steve Harvey.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Bet five bucks and get three months of league pass
plus get three hundred dollars in bonus bets if your
bet wins.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
In partnership with Draft Kings, the Crown is yours.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Gambling problem call one eight hundred gambler in New York,
Call eight seven seven eight hope in wy or text
hope and y four six seven three six y nine
in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling Call eight
eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or
visit CCPG dot org. Please play responsibly on behalf of
Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas. Pass Through I per
wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus age
(07:43):
end eligibility ferries by jurisdiction, Boyd and Ontario restrictions apply.
Bet must win to receive bonus bets, which expire in
seven days. Minimum ods required, NBA lead Pass Auto renews
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limited time offer.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject is is my husband tired of being with me?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Well, you know this is a strange letter because Shirley
said that the key was communication, which is absolutely correct.
Shirley also said it looks like he has another woman
tucked somewhere and that could be the cause of the change. Well,
it could be, but there's nothing in the letter indicating that.
You're not saying he don't come home at night. You're
(08:30):
finding him on the phone, he hang up. When you
walk in the room. You find in text messages and pictures.
You didn't say any of that. So I don't want
to put that out there. I don't think that's it.
I think what happens is, like I said earlier, when
you get married. The day after you get married, the
two people began to change. It's not because you're married,
(08:53):
it's just nobody stays the same. You're not the same
person you were fifteen years ago.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
You're just not.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
You're not who you were twenty years ago, twenty five
years ago, You're just not. There have been subtle changes
in both of you. What happens, though, is when you
don't communicate, then the new person that you've become, or
the new person that he become, the other person may
not like him because, like Shirley said, a lack of communication.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Now, what could be wrong?
Speaker 3 (09:29):
It could be any number of things, But let me
say this on behalf of men.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Now, Ladies, don't take this the wrong way.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
This is not a slap against women or nothing, but
a lot of men fall into a shell, as they
often do because we're not the best at sharing our
thoughts and emotions. A lot of men fall into this thing.
Let this guy's in from lack of appreciation. When your
(09:58):
whole happiness, it is based around your providing happiness for
other people, you can soon look up and find out
you have none for yourself. A guy asked me the
other day, He said, Steve, what makes you happy? And
the first thing I said was being able to give
my children, my grandchildren, my wife the life that they want.
(10:21):
That's a big part of making me feel like, really
really good about myself. He said, But what makes you
happy though, I said, well, fishing. Fishing makes me happy.
He said, Okay, when you're not fishing, what makes you happy?
(10:41):
I said, won't to go fishing? Yeah, he said, Steve,
y'all don't know if you notice this, but you're falling
into the category that most men fall into. You don't
have anything that makes you happy, and all of your
happiness is tied to making other people happy. And that's
(11:04):
a true statement, that really is a true statement. But
what happens to a man after a while is it
saddens him. And if you throw in a lack of appreciation,
if nobody ever saying thank you, if nobody ever bigging
him up all the time, no, if nobody's sitting there going, man,
I'm proud of you. If ain't nobody sitting there going, man,
(11:26):
my husband, is this, this, this, and this girl? If
y'all had a man like if ain't nobody doing that,
your man can sit over there and started feeling emptier
and emptier and emptier and to the point where he
has no more to give than the basics protection and
provision and that happens to a lot of men and ladies.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
That's not your fault, so don't take it that way.
I'm just telling you that's what happens to a lot
of men.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
So this man right here, after twelve years of marriage,
raising the kids, here's what could have happened. He may
not be where he wanted to be financially, probably been
kicked down a few times, didn't get the promotions he wanted,
never open up the business he wanted to open up.
He thought by the time he was forty some years old,
(12:20):
he'd be in a lot better position.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
He's not in. Y'all have to check on your men.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
With this type of stuff, because once they start feeling
that way, we have nowhere to take that too.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
We can't go to our other friends with it.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
We're not gonna bring it in there to you because
we don't want you to be any more disappointed than
you've had to have been.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
This is real talk. This is real talk.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
So get in there and check on your man because
he might be becoming this man because he has no outlets.
And it's not that he's unhappy with her. A lot
of times the man lady can be unhappy with himself.
I just wish y'all could see that part of it,
(13:10):
because y'all keep wanting the man to be a man.
But when he'd had done all he can do in
the manhood department and it ain't going well for him,
what do he have?
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Oh man?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter on Steve Harvey
fam on Instagram and Facebook.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
And check out like they're in the position they in.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
It's All podcast on the free iHeartRadio APPM Sticking your
Mouth Out That downloaded today. Coming up at forty six
minutes after the hour, we got Junior in sports talk.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
We'll be trying to hear what's happening with the man.
What you want? No, that's not true.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationship, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVEFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you nephews. Subject is my husband tired of being
with me? Dear Stephen Shirley. I saw a lady story
online where she and her husband were on vacation and
she was doing a lot of videos of him and
her and he would look at her and he looked
irritated by her. She noticed it on the video and
called him out for it. It went viral online, and
(00:46):
I think they're getting a divorce now. I'm going through
the same situation with my husband of twelve years. But
I can't afford to do something that I might regret,
So I need advice on how to fix my husband
or fix my my marriage, or whatever I need to
do so I don't ruin my children's lives. About four
years ago, I noticed a change in my husband and
(01:08):
it seemed like he was tired of me. He stopped
being silly with me, and he would sit silent across
from me in the mornings when we had breakfast together.
He started only doing things with me if the kids
were involved. Sex was different, and he didn't have any
passion in it anymore. Last Christmas, he didn't want to
dress up like me and the kids for our annual
(01:29):
family photo, so I skipped it and the kids were bummed.
I started inviting him on dates and he always refused.
He started calling me silly, childish, and at times ratchet.
I'm never ratchet, and he used to love joking around
with me and playing pranks on the kids. I stopped
talking to him for a few days and he didn't
even care. It makes me think that he is tired
(01:52):
of me after fifteen years of being with me. He
doesn't treat the kids differently, just me. And before you ask,
I have not gained any weight and I can still
drop it like it's hot. So please tell me what's
going on with my man. Is this fixable or is
this a sign that my marriage is in trouble. If
it's fixable, where do we start?
Speaker 3 (02:15):
OK?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yeah, I know a couple of things right off the bed. First,
I'm sorry you're going through all of this. This I
really am. I know this hurts. I do believe some
bad marriages are fixable, but it depends on what the
bad is.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
You don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
You just say your man has changed towards you, and
that this happens around four years ago. I mean, it's
hard to think that you've allowed yourself to be treated
this way for four long years. You say you don't
want to ruin it for the kids, which I understand,
but what about you? And I'll also say this, depending
(02:51):
on how old your kids are, they can sense if
something's wrong between their parents, you know, if there's no love,
if he's treating you differently and all that. I'm glad
you're no longer in denial though, because yes, he has
checked all the way out of this marriage and now
he doesn't want to do things with the kids either.
But back to you, I'm glad you've kept yourself together.
(03:13):
You said you haven't gained any weight. You could still
drop it like it's hot because this is a mess.
Instead of not talking to him like you tried to
do and gotten a response. You said he didn't care
at all. You need to talk to this man. I mean,
he at least owes you some sort of explanation about
his change and behavior, because based on what you've told us,
(03:34):
it does sound very much like he's got another woman
stash somewhere and he's kicked you to the curb as
simple as that. He's out of this marriage.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Wow, wow, he got another woman somewhere.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Uh huh, yeah, stash somewhere.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Wow wow.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
She never mentioned in this letter that she's seen any
signs of him cheating. She never mentioned in the letter
that he's always on his phone texting someone. He doesn't
come home at night. So where you got another woman from?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I do not know.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Let's go down to the bottom of the letter. If
it's fixable, where do we start. Well, ma'am, I'm gonna
give you a real hope, because this marriage is fixable.
Sureley is right about something, though. You all have got
to communicate, because you have to remember something.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
In a marriage, both people.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
From the day you say I do, both of you
begin to change because nothing stays the same. Everybody changes
in life. I don't care who you are. You are
not the way you work fifteen years. You are not
the same person you was twenty twenty five years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
You're just not. You might think you are, but you're not.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
And a lot of times when these changes occur, when
we're not communicating, we end up not liking the person
that the other person has become, or we don't like
who we've become. But the key, as Shirley said, is communication.
(05:34):
You said you noticed four years ago that he stopped
being silly with you. He would sit across from you
in the mornings when you had breakfast together. You know,
he only does things with you if the kids is involved.
So basically, what I'm saying is this, this marriage can
(05:55):
be fixed, but we have to start with what's wrong.
Because something has changed in you and something has changed
in him, and the two new people that you have become,
one of them don't like the other person. And right
now it looks like it's your husband has changed in
(06:19):
some way and he ain't told you what the change was,
and you haven't discussed what the change was. Now if
the change is someone else, as Sureley has.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Suggested, but it could not be the case.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
All right, We're gonna have part two of Steve's response
coming up in twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's
Strawberry Letters subject is my husband tired of being with me.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
DraftKings for Book, an official sports betting partner of the
Nbaight is the place to bet on NBA stars this season.
Download the Draft Kings Sportsbook app and use code Steve Harvey.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
That's code Steve Harvey.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Bet five bucks and get three months of league pass
plus get three hundred dollars in bonus bets if your
bet wins.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
In partnership with Draft Kings, the Crown is yours.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Gambling problem call one eight hundred gambler in New York,
Call eight seven seven eight hope in wy or text
hope and y four six seven three six y nine
in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling Call eight
eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or
visit CCPG dot org. Please play responsibly on behalf of
Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas. Pass Through I per
wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus age
(07:43):
end eligibility ferries by jurisdiction, Boyd and Ontario restrictions apply.
Bet must win to receive bonus bets, which expire in
seven days. Minimum ods required, NBA lead Pass Auto renews
until canceled. Additional terms at DKNG dot co, slash Audio
limited time offer.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject is is my husband tired of being with me?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Well, you know this is a strange letter because Shirley
said that the key was communication, which is absolutely correct.
Shirley also said it looks like he has another woman
tucked somewhere and that could be the cause of the change. Well,
it could be, but there's nothing in the letter indicating that.
You're not saying he don't come home at night. You're
(08:30):
finding him on the phone, he hang up. When you
walk in the room. You find in text messages and pictures.
You didn't say any of that. So I don't want
to put that out there. I don't think that's it.
I think what happens is, like I said earlier, when
you get married. The day after you get married, the
two people began to change. It's not because you're married,
(08:53):
it's just nobody stays the same. You're not the same
person you were fifteen years ago.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
You're just not.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
You're not who you were twenty years ago, twenty five
years ago, You're just not. There have been subtle changes
in both of you. What happens, though, is when you
don't communicate, then the new person that you've become, or
the new person that he become, the other person may
not like him because, like Shirley said, a lack of communication.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Now, what could be wrong?
Speaker 3 (09:29):
It could be any number of things, But let me
say this on behalf of men.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Now, Ladies, don't take this the wrong way.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
This is not a slap against women or nothing, but
a lot of men fall into a shell, as they
often do because we're not the best at sharing our
thoughts and emotions. A lot of men fall into this thing.
Let this guy's in from lack of appreciation. When your
(09:58):
whole happiness, it is based around your providing happiness for
other people, you can soon look up and find out
you have none for yourself. A guy asked me the
other day, He said, Steve, what makes you happy? And
the first thing I said was being able to give
my children, my grandchildren, my wife the life that they want.
(10:21):
That's a big part of making me feel like, really
really good about myself. He said, But what makes you
happy though, I said, well, fishing. Fishing makes me happy.
He said, Okay, when you're not fishing, what makes you happy?
(10:41):
I said, won't to go fishing? Yeah, he said, Steve,
y'all don't know if you notice this, but you're falling
into the category that most men fall into. You don't
have anything that makes you happy, and all of your
happiness is tied to making other people happy. And that's
(11:04):
a true statement, that really is a true statement. But
what happens to a man after a while is it
saddens him. And if you throw in a lack of appreciation,
if nobody ever saying thank you, if nobody ever bigging
him up all the time, no, if nobody's sitting there going, man,
I'm proud of you. If ain't nobody sitting there going, man,
(11:26):
my husband, is this, this, this, and this girl? If
y'all had a man like if ain't nobody doing that,
your man can sit over there and started feeling emptier
and emptier and emptier and to the point where he
has no more to give than the basics protection and
provision and that happens to a lot of men and ladies.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
That's not your fault, so don't take it that way.
I'm just telling you that's what happens to a lot
of men.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
So this man right here, after twelve years of marriage,
raising the kids, here's what could have happened. He may
not be where he wanted to be financially, probably been
kicked down a few times, didn't get the promotions he wanted,
never open up the business he wanted to open up.
He thought by the time he was forty some years old,
(12:20):
he'd be in a lot better position.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
He's not in. Y'all have to check on your men.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
With this type of stuff, because once they start feeling
that way, we have nowhere to take that too.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
We can't go to our other friends with it.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
We're not gonna bring it in there to you because
we don't want you to be any more disappointed than
you've had to have been.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
This is real talk. This is real talk.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
So get in there and check on your man because
he might be becoming this man because he has no outlets.
And it's not that he's unhappy with her. A lot
of times the man lady can be unhappy with himself.
I just wish y'all could see that part of it,
(13:10):
because y'all keep wanting the man to be a man.
But when he'd had done all he can do in
the manhood department and it ain't going well for him,
what do he have?
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Oh man?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter on Steve Harvey
fam on Instagram and Facebook.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
And check out like they're in the position they in.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
It's All podcast on the free iHeartRadio APPM Sticking your
Mouth Out That downloaded today. Coming up at forty six
minutes after the hour, we got Junior in sports talk.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
We'll be trying to hear what's happening with the man.
What you want? No, that's not true.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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