March 11, 2019 • 14 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, my wife and I have been married for 5 years and we live in a 5 bedroom home. My parents recently moved to the city we live in, to be closer to their grandchildren, our kids. My wife and I have allowed my parents to stay with us temporarily while they moved into their new home. Everything was going great until my mother started having an issue with my wife. My wife smokes weed often and I don’t have an issue with it, but I have asked her nicely, not to smoke weed in front of my parents, out of respect.........
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Right now, let's go buck it up and hold on tight.
We got it for you. Here. It is the straw
berryed letter. All right, subject, It's my house, and I'll
smoke if I want to. Oh oh, did that perk
you up? Jay? For some reason? All right, here we go.
Dear Stephen Shirley. My wife and I have been married
(00:23):
for five years and we live in a five bedroom home.
My parents recently moved to the city we live in
to be closer to their grandchildren are kids. My wife
and I have allowed my parents to stay with us
temporarily while they moved into their new home. Everything was
going great until my mother started having an issue with
(00:44):
my wife. My wife smokes weed often, and I don't
have an issue with it, but I have asked her
nicely not to smoke in front of my parents out
of respect. I smoke weed occasionally with her, but I
was raised to respect my elders, so I will go
in the backyard or do it in the garage out
(01:05):
of respect for my parents. My wife was raised differently,
and she says that it's her house and she shouldn't
have to hide anything just because we have guests. So
now my mom is complaining daily, and I'm not sure
how to handle this. What do I do when my
wife smokes weed with her mom when we go visit
her parents. This is impacting our marriage, but my wife
(01:29):
doesn't get it. My parents are beginning to look uncomfortable
in our house, and I hate that they don't feel
like they can sit and watch TV with us because
of the weed smell and smoke. I can't believe my
wife is this disrespectful and would choose being high over
being a decent daughter in law. Please help? All right, Well,
first of all, I'm on your side. I get that.
(01:51):
At your house, I understand that completely. And yes, as
we were raised, it's your house, and you should be
able to do whatever you want to do in your
own home. You pay the mortgage. I get all of that.
But on the other hand, there is such a thing
as respect. We were raised to respect our elders and
all of that. And if and if your parents are
(02:12):
feeling disrespectful and uncomfortable, hopefully they will hurry up and
get out of there. At number one, if they're feeling uncomfortable,
they're they're not going to want to stay much longer.
But yeah, I think your wife is wrong in this instance,
choosing being high and smoking in front of them over
being a respectful daughter in law. You know, a lot
(02:32):
of people I'm sure will probably disagree with me because
it is your house. But in this instance, I just
think respect above all, you know, should be the way
to go here. I mean, what is it going to
hurt for her to go out in the backyard with
you to smoke a joint or something like that, or
in the garage. What is that going to hurt? I mean, Okay,
(02:55):
now everybody knows you smoke weed, and you can do it,
and it's legal and all of that and in so
many states and things. But come on, show a little decorum,
show a little respect here. Especially you have guests, and
if your guests are uncomfortable, the whole thing about having
guests is to make them feel comfortable being hospitable. They don't.
You haven't said one time in the letter that they're
(03:17):
putting you out, or they're taking over your home, or
they're being disrespectful to you in your home. So I
think that your wife should take um, you know, should
should take your side on this and be show a
little more respect to her elders. Definitely, Tommy, I have
(03:38):
high hopes on this one. I really do. I have
high hopes. The problem is, I'm worried about your mom
and your dad, all right, because your mom and your
dad is sitting there watching TV. And trust me, they
didn't get high. Now with your content, you got you,
your mom and dad is high. Yeah. So when they
go over to the house that they're getting ready to
(03:58):
move into, it the real to looking at them because
she they smell high. The eyes real, your mama n
them is high. Okay. When they get the church on Sunday,
they high. You wonder why your mama keep going to
the refrigerator because they high. They eating up everything around.
They got the munches off through the house. Your mama
and them is high okay. And they know they high
(04:20):
and they're trying to come down, but your wife won't
let them come down because she keep getting them high.
It is, I have a high hold. But you got
a weed white, and that's a take out a weed white.
You need to do something with your weed white. Y'all
need to take up a weed break sometime, Okay, So
(04:40):
y'all look it for real, because y'all y your mama
just she just tell up. Your mamma is walk around
like snoop dogg. Right now she just high shout out. Okay,
all right, don't can't. I understand what's going on. And
I understand you want to respect your mama and them.
I really don't know nobody to get high with their mama.
(05:03):
That's what your wife do. That's the craziest thing I
ever heard. All right, and then and now you gotta
and now you want to go outside. And I'm sure
when y'all go outside, do weed come back in there?
You know, everybody high. I'm assuming y'all don't have no kids,
and you ain't doing this around your kids. I'm hoping
that's not happening, all right, but but I do have
high hopes that y'all would finish this right here. But
(05:23):
I think everywhere your mom and them going, your mama
closed and everything all that, they're smelling like we have kids. Yeah,
they do have kids. And they got cheering. Yeah, so
now in the cheering, get more Hi. Hi, Yeah, they
on their way to school. High good luck, not a
good luck? Yeah, talk to you. That's all I got
high hopes, baby, Hi God? All right, what is his
(05:47):
wife again? Tommy Queen White? I mean you knew that
five years ago, don't nobody killing about. But how many
the bedrooms y'all got? All your bedrooms smell like wee? Yeah? Yeah,
I feel badly for the parents. I really do in
this situation, jay Um, And which brings me to you, Jesus,
(06:10):
I'm a connoisseur, and I am gonna answer this question.
And you know what, I'm gonna be blunt because this
letter right here is a smoker, and what you have
in the house is everybody's rolled up tight. People need
to loosen up. You're not gonna have to get put
(06:30):
a shotgun on me to answer this question. I'm not
gonna just pass it on to somebody else, you know
what I mean. I think we're following. You're gonna you're
gonna twist it, just twist it just right. In other words,
I'm gonna hit this for your shot. You ain't got
that to word, but I think it's legal what you're doing. Yeah,
(06:53):
but the problem is this. You want people to come
to your house. You want to open up so you
can have people to come to your house. Yeah, what
you don't want is for him to stay. Let's recap
today's strawberry letter. Subject it's my house and I'll smoke
(07:14):
if I want to. Man wrote in He and his
wife have been married for five years. They live in
a five bedroom home. His parents recently moved to the
city so they could be closer to their grandkids, and
he and his wife have allowed their parents to stay
with them. That's very, very nice. They're staying. The parents
are staying with them temporarily until they move into their
(07:34):
new home. All right, everything's going great until the mother started.
Until the man's mom started having an issue with her
daughter in law because she smokes weed in the house.
Now this is offensive to the man's mother in law,
the house guests. Yeah, I'm sorry to his mom, to
his house guests, because his wife's attitude is that it's
(07:57):
my house and I'll smoke where of our want to
and if I want to. So the mom is feeling
uncomfortable now. You know, as Tommy brought out, they probably
are getting contacts in the house. Yeah, that's that much
weed in the house. Yeah, you will get it right.
And the sun, at least the sun is being respectful
because that's why he was raised to respect his elders.
(08:18):
He's going outside in the backyard or in the garage
because he does smoke occasionally with his wife. His wife
doesn't get it. His wife grew up smoking weed with
her mom, so she doesn't see anything wrong with it.
She doesn't see the disrespect, and quite frankly, she doesn't
care because again she's saying, it's her house. Yeah, it's
her house. So we're gonna let you take it from here, Jay,
(08:40):
and uh, well, on the back end, on the back
end of why, First of all, we need to look
into why this lady is smoking weed in front of
the mom. We need to we need to delve into that.
We need to answer that question. We need to be
blunt with that. And the reason she's doing it is
because she can't dann this lady and when you high,
(09:03):
don't nothing bother you. You know what I'm saying. You
know what I'm saying. So she definitely wants getting high
just to stay mellow, so she won't cuss out, so
she won't get in the fist fight. You know, none
of that. Long as I'm high, whatever the lady doing
this house, I can live with it. But I and
she says to herself, I'd be damned if I'm gonna
walk outside in the rain and smoke a joint. When
(09:26):
I want to have a joint, does my house want to?
She says, it's weird. I'm with her on that you
got to walk all the way outside to have some enjoyment.
Well wait a minute, Jay, you're a person that doesn't
like company, period. Yes, no, I don't like company. So
(09:48):
even up they're there for five minutes, you want them out?
I want them out? Yeah. Well, first of all, Shirley,
five minutes is way too long, okay, but I'm an
agreement with you. You got to be doing over him
for five minutes. She does want to driving something off?
It don't take you that long. Okay. This wife is
(10:10):
the female you definitely, Yeah, I understand how I understand
that everything about her is Jake. She's a female and Jay,
But you know what she's looking at it like this,
Why should I have to make myself uncomfortable for you
to be comfortable? But that's what she's saying. Why should
I have to walk way outside then enjoy uh? Smoking?
(10:32):
What I like to smoke? When you want to sit
back in your own house and listen to some you
can't do that outside. But Jay, you don't see this
as disrespect you do not see this as disrespect. We
got to her house, but if it makes your house
guests uncomfortable and they're there for a minute, she wants
them out. Basically, that's what sometimes in order to get
(10:55):
a house guests to leave a little uncomfortable will make
him lead. So she's trying to smoke him out. Just yeah,
wants them out, but we really wants them up. But
we were all raised to respect our elders. We really were,
and that's where we try to teach our kids. We
do well. She's probably saying this, excuse me, but I'm
(11:17):
fin the light up. I'm sure she's saying that she's
being polite that I'm about to roll one. Okay, that's
called manners. No no, no disrespect. I'm fenn to fire
one up. And okay, she's her elder and not saying anything.
(11:42):
But but she's just respecting her husband, who has asked
her not to do it as well. Look, if he
want to go outside smoke, I'm not going out there.
You can't. Have you ever tried to enjoy weed out
in the cold. It's not fun. Good I can with you.
(12:10):
You got the elements is raining and dogs barking, that's
not comfortable. We'll go in the garage sometimes I'm well,
I'm gonna be how about we do this. Here's what
we do when I smoke, you go outside. How about that, Jay,
it's mother's older. Come on next thing. You know, she's
(12:33):
gonna be clamping down and everything. Y'all can't make noise
when you make love if you don't stop it, if
you don't nip this in the book, where were you
gonna say, Carla? I was just saying that she's just
gonna put on her snoop dog and tell everybody. Yeah.
(12:54):
I mean, don't get me wrong. I get that it's
her house. I understand that. And how many times have
we I think it's disrespectful, Shirley. I really do think
it's disrespectful because her husband's asked her there, they've invited.
This is one two three, it's time. Wow, another but
(13:18):
a cheat thing, baby, it's time to find you look
con lady, because wow, I mean while his wife, he
and his wife were raised very differently. Because I mean,
you were you allowed. I know you're gonna tell me, no, Jay,
you could Yes, No, I didn't smoke it. I don't
(13:43):
even I never even cursed in front of my Absolutely
not Why because that's how you were raised now though too. No, No,
if my mom was hidden right now, yeah, i'd probably
light up. Yeah. No, I don't believe. I don't believe it.
All right, we gotta get out of here. I know.
Now he's just out now lying. Okay, listen, guys, email
(14:05):
us your Instagram. That's your thoughts on today. Strawberry letter
at Steve Harvey f M. You're listening to the Stave
Harvey Morning Show
Right now, let's go buck it up and hold on tight.
We got it for you. Here. It is the straw
berryed letter. All right, subject, It's my house, and I'll
smoke if I want to. Oh oh, did that perk
you up? Jay? For some reason? All right, here we go.
Dear Stephen Shirley. My wife and I have been married
(00:23):
for five years and we live in a five bedroom home.
My parents recently moved to the city we live in
to be closer to their grandchildren are kids. My wife
and I have allowed my parents to stay with us
temporarily while they moved into their new home. Everything was
going great until my mother started having an issue with
(00:44):
my wife. My wife smokes weed often, and I don't
have an issue with it, but I have asked her
nicely not to smoke in front of my parents out
of respect. I smoke weed occasionally with her, but I
was raised to respect my elders, so I will go
in the backyard or do it in the garage out
(01:05):
of respect for my parents. My wife was raised differently,
and she says that it's her house and she shouldn't
have to hide anything just because we have guests. So
now my mom is complaining daily, and I'm not sure
how to handle this. What do I do when my
wife smokes weed with her mom when we go visit
her parents. This is impacting our marriage, but my wife
(01:29):
doesn't get it. My parents are beginning to look uncomfortable
in our house, and I hate that they don't feel
like they can sit and watch TV with us because
of the weed smell and smoke. I can't believe my
wife is this disrespectful and would choose being high over
being a decent daughter in law. Please help? All right, Well,
first of all, I'm on your side. I get that.
(01:51):
At your house, I understand that completely. And yes, as
we were raised, it's your house, and you should be
able to do whatever you want to do in your
own home. You pay the mortgage. I get all of that.
But on the other hand, there is such a thing
as respect. We were raised to respect our elders and
all of that. And if and if your parents are
(02:12):
feeling disrespectful and uncomfortable, hopefully they will hurry up and
get out of there. At number one, if they're feeling uncomfortable,
they're they're not going to want to stay much longer.
But yeah, I think your wife is wrong in this instance,
choosing being high and smoking in front of them over
being a respectful daughter in law. You know, a lot
(02:32):
of people I'm sure will probably disagree with me because
it is your house. But in this instance, I just
think respect above all, you know, should be the way
to go here. I mean, what is it going to
hurt for her to go out in the backyard with
you to smoke a joint or something like that, or
in the garage. What is that going to hurt? I mean, Okay,
(02:55):
now everybody knows you smoke weed, and you can do it,
and it's legal and all of that and in so
many states and things. But come on, show a little decorum,
show a little respect here. Especially you have guests, and
if your guests are uncomfortable, the whole thing about having
guests is to make them feel comfortable being hospitable. They don't.
You haven't said one time in the letter that they're
(03:17):
putting you out, or they're taking over your home, or
they're being disrespectful to you in your home. So I
think that your wife should take um, you know, should
should take your side on this and be show a
little more respect to her elders. Definitely, Tommy, I have
(03:38):
high hopes on this one. I really do. I have
high hopes. The problem is, I'm worried about your mom
and your dad, all right, because your mom and your
dad is sitting there watching TV. And trust me, they
didn't get high. Now with your content, you got you,
your mom and dad is high. Yeah. So when they
go over to the house that they're getting ready to
(03:58):
move into, it the real to looking at them because
she they smell high. The eyes real, your mama n
them is high. Okay. When they get the church on Sunday,
they high. You wonder why your mama keep going to
the refrigerator because they high. They eating up everything around.
They got the munches off through the house. Your mama
and them is high okay. And they know they high
(04:20):
and they're trying to come down, but your wife won't
let them come down because she keep getting them high.
It is, I have a high hold. But you got
a weed white, and that's a take out a weed white.
You need to do something with your weed white. Y'all
need to take up a weed break sometime, Okay, So
(04:40):
y'all look it for real, because y'all y your mama
just she just tell up. Your mamma is walk around
like snoop dogg. Right now she just high shout out. Okay,
all right, don't can't. I understand what's going on. And
I understand you want to respect your mama and them.
I really don't know nobody to get high with their mama.
(05:03):
That's what your wife do. That's the craziest thing I
ever heard. All right, and then and now you gotta
and now you want to go outside. And I'm sure
when y'all go outside, do weed come back in there?
You know, everybody high. I'm assuming y'all don't have no kids,
and you ain't doing this around your kids. I'm hoping
that's not happening, all right, but but I do have
high hopes that y'all would finish this right here. But
(05:23):
I think everywhere your mom and them going, your mama
closed and everything all that, they're smelling like we have kids. Yeah,
they do have kids. And they got cheering. Yeah, so
now in the cheering, get more Hi. Hi, Yeah, they
on their way to school. High good luck, not a
good luck? Yeah, talk to you. That's all I got
high hopes, baby, Hi God? All right, what is his
(05:47):
wife again? Tommy Queen White? I mean you knew that
five years ago, don't nobody killing about. But how many
the bedrooms y'all got? All your bedrooms smell like wee? Yeah? Yeah,
I feel badly for the parents. I really do in
this situation, jay Um, And which brings me to you, Jesus,
(06:10):
I'm a connoisseur, and I am gonna answer this question.
And you know what, I'm gonna be blunt because this
letter right here is a smoker, and what you have
in the house is everybody's rolled up tight. People need
to loosen up. You're not gonna have to get put
(06:30):
a shotgun on me to answer this question. I'm not
gonna just pass it on to somebody else, you know
what I mean. I think we're following. You're gonna you're
gonna twist it, just twist it just right. In other words,
I'm gonna hit this for your shot. You ain't got
that to word, but I think it's legal what you're doing. Yeah,
(06:53):
but the problem is this. You want people to come
to your house. You want to open up so you
can have people to come to your house. Yeah, what
you don't want is for him to stay. Let's recap
today's strawberry letter. Subject it's my house and I'll smoke
(07:14):
if I want to. Man wrote in He and his
wife have been married for five years. They live in
a five bedroom home. His parents recently moved to the
city so they could be closer to their grandkids, and
he and his wife have allowed their parents to stay
with them. That's very, very nice. They're staying. The parents
are staying with them temporarily until they move into their
(07:34):
new home. All right, everything's going great until the mother started.
Until the man's mom started having an issue with her
daughter in law because she smokes weed in the house.
Now this is offensive to the man's mother in law,
the house guests. Yeah, I'm sorry to his mom, to
his house guests, because his wife's attitude is that it's
(07:57):
my house and I'll smoke where of our want to
and if I want to. So the mom is feeling
uncomfortable now. You know, as Tommy brought out, they probably
are getting contacts in the house. Yeah, that's that much
weed in the house. Yeah, you will get it right.
And the sun, at least the sun is being respectful
because that's why he was raised to respect his elders.
(08:18):
He's going outside in the backyard or in the garage
because he does smoke occasionally with his wife. His wife
doesn't get it. His wife grew up smoking weed with
her mom, so she doesn't see anything wrong with it.
She doesn't see the disrespect, and quite frankly, she doesn't
care because again she's saying, it's her house. Yeah, it's
her house. So we're gonna let you take it from here, Jay,
(08:40):
and uh, well, on the back end, on the back
end of why, First of all, we need to look
into why this lady is smoking weed in front of
the mom. We need to we need to delve into that.
We need to answer that question. We need to be
blunt with that. And the reason she's doing it is
because she can't dann this lady and when you high,
(09:03):
don't nothing bother you. You know what I'm saying. You
know what I'm saying. So she definitely wants getting high
just to stay mellow, so she won't cuss out, so
she won't get in the fist fight. You know, none
of that. Long as I'm high, whatever the lady doing
this house, I can live with it. But I and
she says to herself, I'd be damned if I'm gonna
walk outside in the rain and smoke a joint. When
(09:26):
I want to have a joint, does my house want to?
She says, it's weird. I'm with her on that you
got to walk all the way outside to have some enjoyment.
Well wait a minute, Jay, you're a person that doesn't
like company, period. Yes, no, I don't like company. So
(09:48):
even up they're there for five minutes, you want them out?
I want them out? Yeah. Well, first of all, Shirley,
five minutes is way too long, okay, but I'm an
agreement with you. You got to be doing over him
for five minutes. She does want to driving something off?
It don't take you that long. Okay. This wife is
(10:10):
the female you definitely, Yeah, I understand how I understand
that everything about her is Jake. She's a female and Jay,
But you know what she's looking at it like this,
Why should I have to make myself uncomfortable for you
to be comfortable? But that's what she's saying. Why should
I have to walk way outside then enjoy uh? Smoking?
(10:32):
What I like to smoke? When you want to sit
back in your own house and listen to some you
can't do that outside. But Jay, you don't see this
as disrespect you do not see this as disrespect. We
got to her house, but if it makes your house
guests uncomfortable and they're there for a minute, she wants
them out. Basically, that's what sometimes in order to get
(10:55):
a house guests to leave a little uncomfortable will make
him lead. So she's trying to smoke him out. Just yeah,
wants them out, but we really wants them up. But
we were all raised to respect our elders. We really were,
and that's where we try to teach our kids. We
do well. She's probably saying this, excuse me, but I'm
(11:17):
fin the light up. I'm sure she's saying that she's
being polite that I'm about to roll one. Okay, that's
called manners. No no, no disrespect. I'm fenn to fire
one up. And okay, she's her elder and not saying anything.
(11:42):
But but she's just respecting her husband, who has asked
her not to do it as well. Look, if he
want to go outside smoke, I'm not going out there.
You can't. Have you ever tried to enjoy weed out
in the cold. It's not fun. Good I can with you.
(12:10):
You got the elements is raining and dogs barking, that's
not comfortable. We'll go in the garage sometimes I'm well,
I'm gonna be how about we do this. Here's what
we do when I smoke, you go outside. How about that, Jay,
it's mother's older. Come on next thing. You know, she's
(12:33):
gonna be clamping down and everything. Y'all can't make noise
when you make love if you don't stop it, if
you don't nip this in the book, where were you
gonna say, Carla? I was just saying that she's just
gonna put on her snoop dog and tell everybody. Yeah.
(12:54):
I mean, don't get me wrong. I get that it's
her house. I understand that. And how many times have
we I think it's disrespectful, Shirley. I really do think
it's disrespectful because her husband's asked her there, they've invited.
This is one two three, it's time. Wow, another but
(13:18):
a cheat thing, baby, it's time to find you look
con lady, because wow, I mean while his wife, he
and his wife were raised very differently. Because I mean,
you were you allowed. I know you're gonna tell me, no, Jay,
you could Yes, No, I didn't smoke it. I don't
(13:43):
even I never even cursed in front of my Absolutely
not Why because that's how you were raised now though too. No, No,
if my mom was hidden right now, yeah, i'd probably
light up. Yeah. No, I don't believe. I don't believe it.
All right, we gotta get out of here. I know.
Now he's just out now lying. Okay, listen, guys, email
(14:05):
us your Instagram. That's your thoughts on today. Strawberry letter
at Steve Harvey f M. You're listening to the Stave
Harvey Morning Show
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