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May 3, 2023 13 mins

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
And if you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting
or more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM
dot com. All you have to do is click submit
Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live on
the air. It's just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know it

(00:21):
could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
All right, Oh she got a short How about that?
Muggel up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
The subject is moving on? Is not that easy? Dear
Stephen Shirley.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
My husband and I were married six years, and one
morning he got up, showered, and got dressed for work.
Before we left the house, he kissed me on the
forehead and said he didn't want to be married anymore,
at least not to me. He told me that he
had a revelation at church and he thinks we both
deserve to be happy. I told him I was happy,

(00:58):
and he shocked me by saying he has not been
happy in a long time. He said that he'd be
moving out soon and we need to sell the house
so he can buy a new house. Eventually, when he
finally gave me the chance to speak, I told him
that he's selfish and that I loved my house and
I didn't want to sell it.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
He said that I deserve a better man than him.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I got angry and told him to stop the it's
not you, it's me bs and that's when he left
because he hates confrontation. I didn't go to work that day,
and like a dummy, I told everyone close to me
what happened. Well after I finished crying all day, I
realized that I shouldn't have told so many people. Since then,
my girlfriends have called me every day to check on me,

(01:42):
and my mama set up a group chat with my aunt.
They are all trying to figure out ways to make
my marriage work, and I've told them that there's no
going back after the way he handled me. The worst
part is that I'm pregnant and I was waiting until
I had one more doctor's visit to tell my husband
because them in my forties and considered high risk. I

(02:03):
have to deal with people in my business, my pregnancy,
the move, a divorce, and moving on as a single mother. Meanwhile,
he's free to go on and live his life, and
I bet he has.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
A new woman, but that's none of my business. How
can he detach from me and move on so easily?
Because he's a pig. That's why.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
He's just a selfish, low down, filthy, nasty, dirty pig.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
And I don't like him.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
I mean, you don't treat people this way, and especially
your wife of six years.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
I mean, what are you supposed to do now?

Speaker 1 (02:34):
I get if you want to lead the marriage and
all of that, but you know there are ways to
do it where you don't have to be so cold
about it. And I'll tell you this, as hard as
it sounds, and you said it yourself, you do have
to move on. Don't even trip about telling your family
and your girlfriends. At least they are being supportive in

(02:55):
some way. And it's way more than you can say
for your loser husband. It's not the first or the
last time a husband has walked out on a wife
or vice versa. But dang, I mean, who does this
to a person? I just think he's a pig and
he's just so cold and heartless about it. And you
do have rights, so don't worry about that. You do

(03:16):
have some rights. You don't have to walk out or
move out right away. You don't have to sell the
house right away. Take your time. The last thing you
need to be is stressed out during your pregnancy. And
maybe your family could help you pack up his stuff
so he can get out. And I'm sure that you
do know that you should get a lawyer, and of
course the lawyer can help you with the rest of

(03:37):
the legal stuff and all of that. And please get
all you can, Okay, get all that you can from
this man. The main thing is to make sure you
stay healthy. You got to tell you have to know.
Tell him about the baby, you do. Even though he
is a pig, I think he has a right to
know about his baby. Don't expect anything from him after

(03:59):
you tell him, though, because babies can't hold marriages together.
Your husband probably does have someone at someone else he
does and I'm sure that helps you decide. That helped
him decide to walk out on you after six years.
Bottom line to all of this, go ahead, have your baby.
You can and will survive, and you can make it

(04:20):
to the other side of this.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
Steve H.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
This letter is crazy.

Speaker 4 (04:29):
I've known men to do some things similar.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
This one. When you read it, though, it's all chaotic.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
Now, the other thing about this letter is this letter
is one sided. Now we're just hearing from her this.
This is crazy though. Man, I feel for the lady
that wrote the letter because this is a letter full
of pain. Surprise is her compromises, shock, disappointments, let downs,

(05:05):
And it's just a letter full of this. And I
don't know if I can help you, but here we go.
My husband and I were married for six years and
one morning he got up, he showered, got dressed for work,
and before he left the house, he kissed me on
the forehead and said that, well, I don't want to
be married no more. I don't want to be married

(05:27):
no more, at least not to you. Now that's a
very telling line right here. When a guy says that
I don't want to be married anymore, at least not
to you, that's immediately sends you to the arms of
someone else.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
That's the giveaway.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
He told me that he had a revelation at church
and he thinks we both deserve to be happy. This
is the other part that throws me off about men.
Why would you drag the Lord into this God's voice?
Bishop Alma taught me something about God's voice.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
It has no seeing in it.

Speaker 4 (06:12):
So this revelation that you had at church, you had
this before you got there.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
You just thought of some stuff. Why use at church?

Speaker 4 (06:20):
Please don't put this off on the church, the Lord
or a scripture. And if you didn't have this revelation
at church, all right, If the rest of the letter
is all said, I don't know if I'm gonna have
an answer for this woman, I will tell a company.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
All right, That's all I can do.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
All right, Steve, we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's
Strawberry Letters subject is moving on is not that easy.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
We'll get back into it right after this.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
You're listening.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
Morning show.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is moving on is not that easy?

Speaker 4 (07:01):
Well, according to this letter, the subject is really aproposed.
I mean, moving on is not that easy, especially when
you didn't know you was moving. Let loane on it.
So all of this whole letter is a shot. Guy
got up one morning, been married six years, showered, got
dressed for work, kissed on the forehead and saying I
don't want to be married, no more, at least not

(07:23):
to you. And then he told me he had a
revelation at church and he thinks that we both deserved
to be happy.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
I told him I was happy.

Speaker 4 (07:34):
He shocked me by saying that he ain't been happy
in a long time. Well, that really shouldn't have been
a shock. Here's the partner of the letter. She's leaving out.
They've had some medical problems. There's been a disconnect, there's
been a change. Now, if you weren't paying attention to
you didn't want to admit to it, y'all. Come on,
now he walked in the house. This ain't all quite
ass shocking. You were shocked by the way he presented

(07:57):
it to you, But you all have been having some
type of issue somewhere if you just look back.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
On and closer.

Speaker 4 (08:02):
And I'm pretty sure she's playing all this stuff out
in her mind.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
Now.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
He said he'd be moving out soon and we need
to sell the house so he can buy a new
house eventually. Now you're being dictated to right here, lady,
and this is where you gotta gather yourself.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
He can't just come in the house as a married man.
You all have a house.

Speaker 4 (08:23):
Tell you he's moving out, and that y'all need to
sell the house so he can buy a new one eventually.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
That ain't hort, it's working.

Speaker 4 (08:31):
There ain't no court in the country that's gonna just
go along with just the right here. See, because once
you play back what he said to you, he pretty
much that ain't his house.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
He can forget that. He fit the lose.

Speaker 4 (08:43):
When he finally gave me the chance to speak, I
told him that he's self.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
I love my house and I don't want to sell it.

Speaker 4 (08:51):
He said, I deserve a better man than him. I
got angry and told him to stop that.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
BS. That told him to stop that it's not you
as me BS.

Speaker 4 (08:59):
And then he walked out and he left because he
hates confrontations. Well, lady, he just walked out and left
because he hate confrontations. Now, he walked out and left
because he flew with youes. You know, quick dressing up stuff,
making excuses for people.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
He told you earlier before the argument started. He was leaving.

Speaker 4 (09:23):
You want to sell the house, kiss you goodbye? The
marriage over. He don't want to be married the more,
at least not to you. Now, don't stop all this
confrontation stuff. I didn't go to work that day like
a dummy. I told everybody close to me what had happened.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, that will see.

Speaker 4 (09:38):
Now you finished crying all day, I realized I shouldn't
have told so many people. Since then, my girlfriends had
called me every day to check on my mama has
set up group track with your aunts, your old ass hunt.
Now they all in here trying to figure out ways
to make the marriage. What you don't think they own
she or her mama, her aunts is her mama's deal.

(09:58):
Since all of old they've been trying to figure out
ways to make the marriage work. And I've told him
they're not that there's no going back after the way
he handled it.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
Well, okay, you've come to the proper conclusion.

Speaker 4 (10:11):
Stop answering your phone, don't get on no group cat
tell everybody you fine, because if you know there's no
going back after the way he handled you, then you've
come to the conclusion. But the worst part is that
you are pregnant. And I was waiting until I had
one more doctor's visit to tell my husband. Because I'm
in my forties and i'm considered high rint.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
I have to deal with people.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
In my bier since my pregnancy to move or divorce
and moving on as a single mother. So I'm assuming
you all have no children, because now you're talking about
being a single mother. So I'm assuming y'all don't have
any kids. Meanwhile, he's free to go on with his life.
Well I don't think it's gonna be free.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
See, you can't do people any kind of way you
want to and just walk out like it's free. Now
he is gonna move on with his.

Speaker 4 (11:06):
Life, but he'll be moving on without that house. Hello,
And you gonna move on without this child supposed and
well that's what you're gonna leave at here, And it
looks like you're gonna be end up paying some type
of spousal support. See broum when you walk in the

(11:29):
house and you tell a woman, listen to me, I'm
going to court doctors a minute.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
All ain't gonna you're an expert.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
And now if this baby come here, and if you smart, lady,
lady lady, you will delay the divorce. And to the
child is bort just delayed the divorce because now you
will be going to the family court. Family courts are
way more lenient towards women. And you can ask Tyee

(12:00):
because he online right now talking about not just use
ty Reese's post as a reference for how men get
treated in family court. Once you have a child, your case.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Will go over to family court.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
And then it's tilted very heavily towards the family, and
the family would be the woman because if she gets
custody at child. They don't take custody for mothers unless
you're unfit, so they do not do that. So, lady,
you have a lot of things going for you. To
stop looking at the negative and look at the positive,

(12:36):
you'll be rid of a person who don't want you.
And I would rather live by myself than to live
with somebody that don't want me. Keep looking for the
blessing in this instead of wallowing any pay and good
luck to your sisters.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
You got to do a lot of praying for me
on outtime.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Thank you, Steve.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
Leave your comments on today's letter on Instagram at Steve
Harvey Fm and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast. Coming
up next it is Sports Talk and Junior. Right after this,
you're listening Morning show
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