March 18, 2020 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I've been dating a man for almost 4 years and I’m trying to do the right thing by not living with him before we are married. I live alone and he shares a house with a guy that he has been friends with forever. My boyfriend has one child that he has joint custody of, but he doesn’t really get along with the child’s mother. I’ve had a few run-ins with his child’s mother, but recently, things between us got worse when this woman moved in with my man and his roommate................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need
advice on relationship, dating, works, sex, parenting, and more, submit
your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey FM dot com. Click
submit Strawberry Letter. Shirley is out, Steve will read the letter.
I'll respond, let's go, mister h I don't need that.
(00:23):
You don't need it. I don't need all of it
at all, boyfriend, anybody need that Strawberry letter? Do nobody
need that? Yeah? And the person that needed you ran off?
So when she comes from all right, here we go.
My boyfriend's ex girlfriend has moved in. What dis Stephen, Shirley.
(00:48):
I've been dating a man for almost four years. I'm
trying to do the right thing by not living with
him before we're married. I live alone, and he shares
a house with a guy that he's been friends forever.
My boyfriend has one child that he has joint custody of,
but he doesn't really get along with the child's mother.
I've had a through run ins with the child's mother,
(01:11):
but recently things between us got worse when the woman
moved in with my man and his roommate. The roommate
is dating her. Jesus and my man has no problem
with that, and he agreed to let her live with them.
I was so upset when I found out, so to
(01:34):
keep me calm, my boyfriend spends most nights with me now,
But this woman has made life a living hell for
me so far. Whenever my boyfriend and I have plans,
she will leave the house at the last minute, leaving
my boyfriend with the baby because I can't get mad
because it's his child. But I know the child's mom
(01:56):
is doing this on purpose. She's also posting pictures on
social media of the three of them, my man, her
and the baby like they won big happy family. My
man told me to cheer out because as long as
she's dead, he doesn't have to give her as much
money because she's not paying rent anymore. Look, I don't
(02:17):
want to be naive and not look at the bigger picture.
You think my boyfriend may be enjoying this arrangement. I
found it odd that he has no problem with his
best friend dating his child's mother. Is that odd? Or
am I just looking for reasons to hate on this girl?
Stephen Sherley, what do you think is really going on here?
(02:42):
All right? Steve, to this lady You've been taking this
man for about four years, and you all are trying
to wait until you get married to live together. So
what's taking a song? Four years? That's a long time anyway.
He lives in a house with his best friend. He
has joint custody of his child, and you and his
(03:04):
baby mama, you guys are beefing now. His baby mama
has moved into the house with your man. At first
you said guy and roommate, and then later in the
letter you said his best friend. So that's a difference.
That's a big difference to me. And now she's dating him.
You had a problem with all of that, you know,
(03:24):
them all living together under this run one roof, but
your man is cool with it, and he spends most
of his nights with you, so you feel like old girls.
She's causing problems because she's posting pictures of you and
your man and the child on social media like they're
just one big, happy family. But baby mama is slick,
you know, because when you and your man, you guys,
(03:46):
make plans, she leaves him with the child and your
man he says that he's cool, he's cool with her
living there, and he wants you to chill out because
he feels like that's less money he has to put out,
you know, to take care of the kid and her.
So I think he's just trying to keep the peace,
spend less money see his child. But I find it
hard to believe Steve that he is cool with his
(04:11):
best friend dating his baby mama and they all live together.
There's something wrong with that to me. So is he
lying about them being together? I don't know, but I
know you don't trust him. And if you want this man,
you don't trust him. You need to talk to him
and work out some issues because you are going to
(04:32):
be dealing if you gonna married this man and be
with him, you're gonna be dealing with her baby mama
drama for a very long time because they have a
child together. So your feelings are valid, and I'm not
saying they're not, but you have to come to terms
and see what's going on with the three of them.
What's happening with that, Steve. Let me just get to
(04:55):
this letter right here. My boyfriend's ex girlfriend has moved in,
you saying has moved in with his best friend who
they are now seeing each other, and the baby then
moved in to let me, let me, let me, let
me say something to you. Black dudes don't do this, Okay.
(05:21):
White dudes don't do this. Latino dudes don't do this.
Native American dudes don't do this. Asian men don't do this.
I don't know of any group of men that will
(05:44):
go along with this arrangement. First of all, my best
friend ain't dating my ex that's got my baby, Okay,
and he's dating her and me and him live together.
And now she then fell on hard times and then
moved into that house. What this is the most unbelievable
(06:12):
piece of mess I've ever heard of in a long time.
This is virtually impossible to do. First of all, here's
what I think the deal is. And I got thirty seconds,
so you know what I'm gonna do. I'm old this
what's called a cliffhanker. Here's exactly what I think is
(06:34):
going on. I'm gonna tell it to you when we
get back, and you can feel how you want to feel.
But this right here, this stinks. This hasn't older to it.
And I'm gonna tell you what I'm smelling right after this,
good twenty three after the hour, Steve will break it
down right after this. You're listening, okay, Steve, come on,
(06:57):
let's recap today's Strawberry Lakes. This is crazy. The name
of this letter is my boyfriend's ex girlfriend has moved in.
But that ain't the clicker moving in with who it was. Hell,
you've been with this man for four years and you're
(07:18):
trying to do the right thing by not living with
him before y'all marriage, that's what you call doing the
right thing. Well, your boyfriend got a child that he
got joint custody with this other girl. But now the
story is he don't really get along with the child's mother, right,
and you didn't had a couple run ins with a
two The roommate who is his best friend is not
(07:41):
dating the girl that his best friend had a baby with.
What do that? What those straight left right there? What
the roommate is dating her and your man ain't got
no problem with the fact that he agreed to let
her live with them. Wait a minute, what girl, girl? What?
(08:06):
How when you was typing this letter how to sound
to you? Because this right here stinks. Like I said earlier,
black dudes don't do this, White dudes don't do this.
Latino dudes don't do this. Native American dudes don't do this.
Asian dudes don't do this. Not about covered everybody I
(08:28):
can think of. I don't know no dudes that do this.
Now I could be wrong. I've never heard of this.
But here's what I think then happened. I think him
and the extra don't get along, fell on some hard
times now in order to give her a place to stay,
he didn't construct it and construe this whole thing with
(08:52):
his best friend and her to go along that they
are a couple. Now they I think they've created this
story that they're dating. I want you to say, y'all
dating so she can come and live here. You say,
to keep the peace. Most nights he spends the night
at your house to keep the peace. But some nights
(09:14):
he don't. So when he your house, who bade her
and the baby in? I can promise you it ain't
cross the hall with his best damn friend. So I
think this smells like a dude that's trying to help
his girl out, created some story that they're best friend
(09:38):
so she can live there. Now. He true, he part
of it. This is true where he ain't paying the rent,
he ain't got to pay as much child for it
because he ain't gotta paying no rent. But the rest
of his stinks. This don't make no damn say she
ain't had nowhere else to go. Well, her mama, well,
her daddy, well, her sister. Right, she overheard her excess house. Now,
your man told you to chill out as long as
(09:58):
she said, he ain't got to pay no money. Now,
I don't want to be naive and not look at
the bigger picture. Do you think my boyfriend may be
enjoying this arrangement? Well, I'm saying, uh yeah, she said,
I find it odd that he has no problem with
his best friend dating his child's mother. Is that? Is
(10:21):
it all? This is crazy? This don't even happen as crazy.
Is this crazy? This is unheard of as a male species.
This is not how we function. You cross the hall
(10:42):
banging my ex girl? Where the baby at? Who's the
mother of your child? Dog? Where is the baby at?
Why all this is going on? This my daddy, but
my daddy over that laying up with the other man.
What hold has soul? This to the baby? And then
when you go out, she leaves early and lead a
(11:05):
baby with him. But hold up. She posting pictures online
the three of them like they want big happy family.
Where she getting the pictures of the three of them,
matt at the house where the four of them stay? Huh?
She getting the pictures of the thread and where the
four stay? Where is your man? Your dude that's dating her?
(11:29):
Why they ain't on social media with their picture? You
know why? Because he got another chick somewhere and he
can't explain this to no other chick black, white, yellow,
green or brown, that he is grewing his best friends.
Girl that's got his baby that stay in the bedroom
across the hall. What the girl? What girl? What that? Yeah?
(12:00):
Where's this? Yes? What? What? What? Country? What village? What towns?
What space station? Why they do this? What parish? Where's this?
What dungeon? What basement? They doing this? Girl? Girl? Are
(12:23):
you being done? Naives? He enjoying this arrangement. He got
her over there, He got her over hilled you over there.
The baby got a place to say, he could see
his son when he wants to. She go out when
you want to, because she got to build in babysity.
She going along with the arrangement because she trying to
squeeze it back in. She posted in pictures to throw
your ass into something because she want him back, and
(12:45):
if you keep letting this go on, she gonna get
him back. Yes, she got him now if they living
in the same place, you you did the right thing
by not living there. What her right thing at all? Right?
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey
FM on the Gram or on Facebook. Look and check
out the Strawberry Letter podcasts on demand now coming up
at forty six after the hour, It's homeschooling is going on,
(13:07):
and we're dealing with this. We're gonna talk about it
right after this. My child from the flunk though, that's
what you're listening to, the same morning show.
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need
advice on relationship, dating, works, sex, parenting, and more, submit
your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey FM dot com. Click
submit Strawberry Letter. Shirley is out, Steve will read the letter.
I'll respond, let's go, mister h I don't need that.
(00:23):
You don't need it. I don't need all of it
at all, boyfriend, anybody need that Strawberry letter? Do nobody
need that? Yeah? And the person that needed you ran off?
So when she comes from all right, here we go.
My boyfriend's ex girlfriend has moved in. What dis Stephen, Shirley.
(00:48):
I've been dating a man for almost four years. I'm
trying to do the right thing by not living with
him before we're married. I live alone, and he shares
a house with a guy that he's been friends forever.
My boyfriend has one child that he has joint custody of,
but he doesn't really get along with the child's mother.
I've had a through run ins with the child's mother,
(01:11):
but recently things between us got worse when the woman
moved in with my man and his roommate. The roommate
is dating her. Jesus and my man has no problem
with that, and he agreed to let her live with them.
I was so upset when I found out, so to
(01:34):
keep me calm, my boyfriend spends most nights with me now,
But this woman has made life a living hell for
me so far. Whenever my boyfriend and I have plans,
she will leave the house at the last minute, leaving
my boyfriend with the baby because I can't get mad
because it's his child. But I know the child's mom
(01:56):
is doing this on purpose. She's also posting pictures on
social media of the three of them, my man, her
and the baby like they won big happy family. My
man told me to cheer out because as long as
she's dead, he doesn't have to give her as much
money because she's not paying rent anymore. Look, I don't
(02:17):
want to be naive and not look at the bigger picture.
You think my boyfriend may be enjoying this arrangement. I
found it odd that he has no problem with his
best friend dating his child's mother. Is that odd? Or
am I just looking for reasons to hate on this girl?
Stephen Sherley, what do you think is really going on here?
(02:42):
All right? Steve, to this lady You've been taking this
man for about four years, and you all are trying
to wait until you get married to live together. So
what's taking a song? Four years? That's a long time anyway.
He lives in a house with his best friend. He
has joint custody of his child, and you and his
(03:04):
baby mama, you guys are beefing now. His baby mama
has moved into the house with your man. At first
you said guy and roommate, and then later in the
letter you said his best friend. So that's a difference.
That's a big difference to me. And now she's dating him.
You had a problem with all of that, you know,
(03:24):
them all living together under this run one roof, but
your man is cool with it, and he spends most
of his nights with you, so you feel like old girls.
She's causing problems because she's posting pictures of you and
your man and the child on social media like they're
just one big, happy family. But baby mama is slick,
you know, because when you and your man, you guys,
(03:46):
make plans, she leaves him with the child and your
man he says that he's cool, he's cool with her
living there, and he wants you to chill out because
he feels like that's less money he has to put out,
you know, to take care of the kid and her.
So I think he's just trying to keep the peace,
spend less money see his child. But I find it
hard to believe Steve that he is cool with his
(04:11):
best friend dating his baby mama and they all live together.
There's something wrong with that to me. So is he
lying about them being together? I don't know, but I
know you don't trust him. And if you want this man,
you don't trust him. You need to talk to him
and work out some issues because you are going to
(04:32):
be dealing if you gonna married this man and be
with him, you're gonna be dealing with her baby mama
drama for a very long time because they have a
child together. So your feelings are valid, and I'm not
saying they're not, but you have to come to terms
and see what's going on with the three of them.
What's happening with that, Steve. Let me just get to
(04:55):
this letter right here. My boyfriend's ex girlfriend has moved in,
you saying has moved in with his best friend who
they are now seeing each other, and the baby then
moved in to let me, let me, let me, let
me say something to you. Black dudes don't do this, Okay.
(05:21):
White dudes don't do this. Latino dudes don't do this.
Native American dudes don't do this. Asian men don't do this.
I don't know of any group of men that will
(05:44):
go along with this arrangement. First of all, my best
friend ain't dating my ex that's got my baby, Okay,
and he's dating her and me and him live together.
And now she then fell on hard times and then
moved into that house. What this is the most unbelievable
(06:12):
piece of mess I've ever heard of in a long time.
This is virtually impossible to do. First of all, here's
what I think the deal is. And I got thirty seconds,
so you know what I'm gonna do. I'm old this
what's called a cliffhanker. Here's exactly what I think is
(06:34):
going on. I'm gonna tell it to you when we
get back, and you can feel how you want to feel.
But this right here, this stinks. This hasn't older to it.
And I'm gonna tell you what I'm smelling right after this,
good twenty three after the hour, Steve will break it
down right after this. You're listening, okay, Steve, come on,
(06:57):
let's recap today's Strawberry Lakes. This is crazy. The name
of this letter is my boyfriend's ex girlfriend has moved in.
But that ain't the clicker moving in with who it was. Hell,
you've been with this man for four years and you're
(07:18):
trying to do the right thing by not living with
him before y'all marriage, that's what you call doing the
right thing. Well, your boyfriend got a child that he
got joint custody with this other girl. But now the
story is he don't really get along with the child's mother, right,
and you didn't had a couple run ins with a
two The roommate who is his best friend is not
(07:41):
dating the girl that his best friend had a baby with.
What do that? What those straight left right there? What
the roommate is dating her and your man ain't got
no problem with the fact that he agreed to let
her live with them. Wait a minute, what girl, girl? What?
(08:06):
How when you was typing this letter how to sound
to you? Because this right here stinks. Like I said earlier,
black dudes don't do this, White dudes don't do this.
Latino dudes don't do this. Native American dudes don't do this.
Asian dudes don't do this. Not about covered everybody I
(08:28):
can think of. I don't know no dudes that do this.
Now I could be wrong. I've never heard of this.
But here's what I think then happened. I think him
and the extra don't get along, fell on some hard
times now in order to give her a place to stay,
he didn't construct it and construe this whole thing with
(08:52):
his best friend and her to go along that they
are a couple. Now they I think they've created this
story that they're dating. I want you to say, y'all
dating so she can come and live here. You say,
to keep the peace. Most nights he spends the night
at your house to keep the peace. But some nights
(09:14):
he don't. So when he your house, who bade her
and the baby in? I can promise you it ain't
cross the hall with his best damn friend. So I
think this smells like a dude that's trying to help
his girl out, created some story that they're best friend
(09:38):
so she can live there. Now. He true, he part
of it. This is true where he ain't paying the rent,
he ain't got to pay as much child for it
because he ain't gotta paying no rent. But the rest
of his stinks. This don't make no damn say she
ain't had nowhere else to go. Well, her mama, well,
her daddy, well, her sister. Right, she overheard her excess house. Now,
your man told you to chill out as long as
(09:58):
she said, he ain't got to pay no money. Now,
I don't want to be naive and not look at
the bigger picture. Do you think my boyfriend may be
enjoying this arrangement? Well, I'm saying, uh yeah, she said,
I find it odd that he has no problem with
his best friend dating his child's mother. Is that? Is
(10:21):
it all? This is crazy? This don't even happen as crazy.
Is this crazy? This is unheard of as a male species.
This is not how we function. You cross the hall
(10:42):
banging my ex girl? Where the baby at? Who's the
mother of your child? Dog? Where is the baby at?
Why all this is going on? This my daddy, but
my daddy over that laying up with the other man.
What hold has soul? This to the baby? And then
when you go out, she leaves early and lead a
(11:05):
baby with him. But hold up. She posting pictures online
the three of them like they want big happy family.
Where she getting the pictures of the three of them,
matt at the house where the four of them stay? Huh?
She getting the pictures of the thread and where the
four stay? Where is your man? Your dude that's dating her?
(11:29):
Why they ain't on social media with their picture? You
know why? Because he got another chick somewhere and he
can't explain this to no other chick black, white, yellow,
green or brown, that he is grewing his best friends.
Girl that's got his baby that stay in the bedroom
across the hall. What the girl? What girl? What that? Yeah?
(12:00):
Where's this? Yes? What? What? What? Country? What village? What towns?
What space station? Why they do this? What parish? Where's this?
What dungeon? What basement? They doing this? Girl? Girl? Are
(12:23):
you being done? Naives? He enjoying this arrangement. He got
her over there, He got her over hilled you over there.
The baby got a place to say, he could see
his son when he wants to. She go out when
you want to, because she got to build in babysity.
She going along with the arrangement because she trying to
squeeze it back in. She posted in pictures to throw
your ass into something because she want him back, and
(12:45):
if you keep letting this go on, she gonna get
him back. Yes, she got him now if they living
in the same place, you you did the right thing
by not living there. What her right thing at all? Right?
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey
FM on the Gram or on Facebook. Look and check
out the Strawberry Letter podcasts on demand now coming up
at forty six after the hour, It's homeschooling is going on,
(13:07):
and we're dealing with this. We're gonna talk about it
right after this. My child from the flunk though, that's
what you're listening to, the same morning show.
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