Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVEFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, right.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Here, right now. Buckle up and hold on type. We
got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
All right now. If you thank you. Subject my husband
has run out of options. Dear Stephen Shirley, My marriage
may look perfect now, but it hasn't always been like this.
I got married when I was twenty seven and my
husband was thirty six. He and two other guys owned
a club, and he'd be there every night and come
home after two am, even during the week. He didn't
(00:48):
allow me to go out with him. After we got married,
and even though we met at his nightclub and we
had sex for the first time at his club, he
was hardly ever home and we weren't having sex but
once or twice a month. I used to smell the
other women on him when he got home, and he
didn't even have the decency to take a shower before
he got in the bed. I practically raised our two
(01:10):
children alone. He took care of us all financially, and
that meant that I couldn't question him about anything. Then
when the club burned in twenty eighteen, things shifted because
he had to get a job. He got fired a
lot because of his drinking, so me and the kids
would do our best to avoid him. During the pandemic,
(01:32):
he started reading the Bible and he stopped drinking. He
was able to get a job, to keep a job,
and we started having sex again. Up until May of
this year, our marriage was so much better and we're
having a lot of sex. Then a light bulb went
off in my head. I feel like my husband only
wants me because he's getting older, he slightly overweight, and
(01:55):
we live paycheck to paycheck. No other woman would want him,
so I'm all he's got. Now, he's all out of options.
I've been thinking about divorcing him so he can see
how it feels to be alone. Please help now. If
you're thinking about divorcing him because so he can see
how it feels to be alone, that's really a stupid
reason to get divorced. I mean, why would you play
(02:17):
like that with something so serious. You stayed with him
through all the bad times, and now that he's changed,
you want revenge. I mean, you didn't think divorce when
he came home smelling like other women and you know,
got in the bed with you without showering all of that.
How about the fact that he hardly ever came home,
you said, And what about the fact that you had
(02:38):
to raise the kids, two kids practically by yourself, all
of that that didn't cause you to think divorce. You're
either there now because you're committed to the marriage and
you love him and you want to make it work,
or you want a divorce because you don't love him
anymore and you want to move on, but you just
want to get back at him. It sounds like, do
(02:58):
you want to be married to him or not?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
To me?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
That's the question, Steve.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
My husband has run out of options. Okay, well, let's
look at just a different way. I got married when
I was twenty seven. Your marriage. You say, your marriage
may look perfect now, and it hasn't always been like this.
So I'm in that statement right there. It says to
(03:25):
me that there's been an improvement. That's what that statement says.
You got married when he was twenty seven, your husband
thirty six. Okay, He and two other guys owned the club.
He was there every night, come home at two am
during the week. He didn't allow me to go out
with him after we got married, even though we met
at his nightclub and we had sex for the first
(03:48):
time at his club.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Okay, okay, appreciate that information.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
He was hardly ever home and we weren't having sex
but once or twice a month. I used to smell
the other women on him when he got home, and
he ain't even.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Have the decency to take a shower before he.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Got into bed. Well, he just got in from the club.
He has sex down there. You just he has sex down.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
There at the club.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Ain't that where you had sex with him? Atter for
the first time.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
At the club.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Anyway, I practically raised our two children alone. He took
care of us financially. That meant I couldn't question him
about anything. Well, he told you that. He told you, Hey, hey,
I'm taking care of you. I pay these bills. Gonna
be asking me about my work. I'm out here providing
making it. And then you accepted that. Then when the
club burned down in twenty eighteen, things shifted because he
(04:51):
had to get a job. He got fired a lot
because of his drinking. Well that what you see when
you got a club. Part of the club revenue is
not just the tickets at the door. This alcohol. That's
the revenue at the club. So anyway, you know, now
he can't hold a job because he's drinking. So me
and the kids would do our best to avoid him.
(05:16):
Oh he wanted them loud drunk people. Okay, I see right,
y'all't even want to talk to him. During the pandemic,
he started reading his Bible. Okay, here's where the shift comes.
He was able to.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Keep a job and we started having sex again.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Up until May of this year, our marriage was so
much better and we were having a.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Lot of sex. Jackpott.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Then a light bub went off your head. We're gonna
talk about that in a minute. The light bulb went
off on your head. And I feel like my husband
only wants me because he's getting older. He's forty seven,
forty three now, Uh, he's slightly on the wait and
(06:05):
we live paycheck to paycheck. No other woman would want him,
so I'm all he's got. Now he's all out of options.
I've been thinking about divorcing him so he can see
how it feels to be alone. Please help lady. Why
did you come to the divorce at Like Shirley said, Now,
you wasn't talking about the divorce when he was sleeping
with all the women at the club, coming home smelling
like other women without the.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Decen seed shower.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Now he'd have read his Bible, turned his life around,
got himself, got fat. Hang on, y'all having a lot
of sex, Well you have lost six with fat dude.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Hang hang on, Steve. We'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter subject my husband has run out of options.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening Steve.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Hey everyone, quick health question. Even though you're still thriving,
still loving, still connecting, did you know your immune system
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this fall, ask your doctor which vaccines you need and
(07:20):
visit vaxsist dot com. That's vaexcist dot com to schedule
one or more of vaccines sponsored by Pfizer. All right,
come on, Steve. Let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
is my husband has run out of options.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I don't think this letter is about your husband running
out of options. I think that you've come to a really,
really crazy conclusion. They were married that he was a
club owner. They met at a club. The first time
they had sex was out a club. They got married,
they got two kids.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
He won't take.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Her out with him nowhere, especially to the club. And
when he comes home at night, you can smell other
women on him, and he don't have the DC the shower.
He just get into bed. And then the club burned down.
In twenty eighteen, things shifted because he had to get
a job. He couldn't keep a job because he drank
a lot, because you know, he picked up that habit
(08:13):
down at the club, and so you and the kids
tried your best to avoid him. Then the pandemic hit.
He started reading his Bible and stopped drinking. He was
able to keep a job. We started having sex again.
Up until mayor this year, marriage was a lot better,
and we started having a lot of sex.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Then a light bulb went.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Off in my head. This is the light bulb. A
light bulb went off in my head. I feel like
my husband only wants me because he's getting older. He's
slightly overwaiting me little paycheck to paycheck, and no other
woman will want him. Well, I think the light bulb
that went off in your head was a satanst See,
you prayed for God to fix something. Then you want
(08:56):
God to fix it your way. Well he fixed it.
Your man come home. Now, your man read the Bible.
Y'all back to having sex. He got a job, he
stopped drinking, he done gained a little bit of weight.
And you said your marriage shifted and was going fine.
(09:16):
But then a light bulb went off in your head.
We didn't turn that light off. You need to over
hit the switch. You need to cut the squidch off
because that's crazy to get what you want and then
talk yourself out of a blessing.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I've never seen nothing like that.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Before you asked God to fix it, You've been probably
praying about this or it turned around in your favor.
Now you're looking at it, and now you want to
kick the blessing. So I'm all he's got. Now, Ain't
that what you want it? He's all out of options.
(09:56):
Ain't that what you wanted? I've been thinking about divorce
in him because so he can see how it feels
to be alone.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Please help. Okay, when you get a.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Divorce and he alone, let me ask you a question,
ain't you gonna be alone?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Too? Because let me explain to you your options.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
You are now back out here on this market of dating,
this dating market, the post pandemic market, and this is
a rough one, and you need to ask some women
that's out here.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
This is a rough one.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
And you're going out here and you ain't got no
dating experience because YO met your husband at a club
and first time y'all had sex was at the club.
Now you got two kids, you want to enter the
dating market with that, And now your man is at home,
y'all having plenty of sex. Now, okay, he done got chunky.
(10:50):
We could fix that. You ain't even got to get
a gym membership to fix that. You could fix that.
He come home every day. He just start reading his Bible.
You know what?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
What what?
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Let me ask you a question. You ain't gained no
weight when you had your kids. You ain't pick up
no pounds. A lot of women do, and that and that,
and that baby weight look good a lot of women
do you know? It's badge of honor. I like him,
and you're a boy.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I like him.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Now you probably ain't the same as you used to be.
But he done managed to come home. Maybe he just said, hey,
let me get on to the house and batch up,
let me go on in here. And you gained some weight,
let me go get a little weight on it.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
And that's it. And you got a good husband.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Right now, now you're talking about divorcity so he can
feel like what it feels to be alone.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Where do you get this revenge where you're from.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I don't understand interjecting the revenge into it, because right
now you're not saying the only problem y'all have is
y'all live in paycheck to paycheck. That's the grind of life.
That's the grind of life. What are you talking about?
You don't understand that you have a paycheck that gets
(12:08):
you to the next paycheck. You don't see that, so
you gonna throw that out the window. You don't see
that he ain't drinking no more. So you gonna throw
that out the winter. You don't see that the man
come home and y'all now having a lot of sex.
You wanna throw that out the winter? Now you gotta
figure it out. I've been thinking about divorce meal because
(12:29):
ain't no other woman with won't help. Oh, oh that's
where you're wrong, a though, Oh that way you're wrong.
There's a lot of women sign up for a smoke
of the bell. The whole lot of them got a job,
come home at night, have a lot of sex. Yeah, so, lady,
(12:49):
I don't know why you wanna throw get thro kick
the blessing out the house, but I would not recommend that.
Why don't you get this revengeful spirit out your If
you've forgiven him for all the nights he came in
and slept with you, after he slept with all these
women that didn't shower, you can't see the blessing you
have now? Are you kidding me? Wait a minute? What
(13:14):
did I just do? Did I defend a man in
the Strawberry letter?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Oh? My god, is the man from Richmond, Virginia listening.
I'm sorry, he's stupid. Divorce him, leave him, he's nothing.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
What's your comment such today, what's your Coming suns Today's
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