September 3, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter, heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, Wednesday, September 3rd, 2025. Subject: "My Husband Ruined My Summer"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
Wegute it for you here. It is Strawberry letta.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
All right, nephew, thank you. Subject My husband ruined my summer.
My husband ruined my summer. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a
forty nine year old married woman. It's my first marriage
and my husband's second marriage. He has a nine year
old daughter from his first marriage, and she spent two
weeks with us this summer. We've been married for almost
(00:46):
five years, but this is the first time that his
ex wife let her comes stay with us, and I
understand it because she's older now. She lives in Pensacola,
So my husband drove her home and stayed overnight and
then drove back. He didn't want me to ride down
with him, and I didn't press the issue. He's big
on making his daughter feel comfortable since it was her
(01:08):
first time seeing him around another woman. Me. What bothered
me was that he refused to sleep in the room
with me the whole time his daughter was there. He
slept in the spare bedroom next to the room his
daughter slept in. He said she's too young to understand
that he has a new wife that replaced her Mommy.
It's BS to me, and I told him it was
(01:30):
BS every morning that he woke up and every night
that he went to the other room. He told me,
I'm naive and I would understand if I had a child.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Of my own.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
This was the perfect time to let his child know
that she is a stepmom and I'm not going anywhere,
But instead, he allowed his daughter to refer to me
as quotes she and her. I want her to acknowledge
me as a parental figure, but he says it's too
soon for her to process all of this. I want
to know what he and his ex wife have been
(02:01):
telling her. Seems odd that she doesn't know what a
stepparent is by now? What am I missing? Was my
husband wrong for acting like we're not a married couple,
or am I being naive, like he said, No, you're
not being naive. Your husband is being ridiculous. He's acting
like a scared little boy. His daughter is not a baby,
(02:24):
and at nine years old, she is more than capable
of understanding that daddy is remarried and you are his
new wife. She knows he doesn't live with you. She
knows he doesn't live with you and mommy anymore. Okay,
she is old enough to be sat down and talked to.
She needs to know the truth because, like you say,
(02:45):
you're not going anywhere. I guess that he loves her
and he wants to break it to her gently, but
not at your expense. Who does I mean, who does
his daughter think you are anyway? I mean you're there
at the house with her dad. Why does she think
you're living there? He's making you pay for something he
and his X should have taken care of long before
the child came to stay there. I think it's very
(03:07):
rude for her to refer to you as she and her,
not even saying your name or giving you a title
or anything. That's on the parents to set her straight
on that. I don't think he should even allow that
he's put you his wife of five years in the
most awkward space possible by not telling the little girl
who you are. You don't need to have a child
(03:29):
of your own to know that this is like you
say bs, shame on him for allowing his ex and
his daughter to treat you this way. I mean, he's
treating you horribly too, So speak up for yourself. Tell
him to let everyone involved in this mess know what's
going on. The daughter, the mother, him, everybody. His ex
(03:50):
needs to be in agreement because they should have nipped
this in the bud a long time ago. Steve.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Normally, when we do these letters, I try to offer
maybe counterbalance to something surely says right, so the letter
becomes interesting, so we're not beating the same drum over.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And up and order right.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I can't offer a counter here because this letter is
wrong on so many levels. You know, you're forty nine,
you're on your first marriage, just your husband's second. He
got a nine year old from his first marriage. Well,
the subject is my husband ruined my summer. But I
(04:29):
think we're only talking about two weeks ago. We've been
married for almost five years, but this is the first
time now they've been married five years, so that means
he's been away from the daughter of a minimum of
four years, but longer than that. See, the divorce is
when the court makes it legal. You probably were separated
(04:52):
or something. You didn't just wake up exactly five years
ago and go, hey, we divorced and it went down
to court and they gave it to you. It's a process.
So let's say the girl was three when you're filed
for divorce. Then the girl turned four and you got
the divorce. So it's been five years since your daddy
(05:14):
hasn't been around the girl in her life because you've
been married to this woman for five years now and
the first time she's let us stay with y'all cause
she's older now and you don't have a problem with
the ex right, So they live in Pensacola.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Now, your husband, let's start with this part. He drove
to pick up his daughter. He didn't want you to go.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
I understood that because maybe he wanted to spend that
time with his little girl and kind of prep her
for things to come, and spend some time with him
and make her feel special.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
And I said, okay, Well.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
He's big on making his daughter feel comfortable, like I said,
And this is our first time seeing him around another woman.
Well that dadd ain't been at the house for five
years now. I don't know where you think daddy was
and what you think that it was doing, but it's
time that you found out. What bothered me was he
refuses to sleep in the room with me the whole
(06:08):
time his daughter was there. He slept in the spare
bedroom next to the room she slept in. And said
she's too young to understand that he has a new
wife that replaced her mama.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
That is complete. Bs. Yeah, she is not too young,
she is nine.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
These are the facts, and y'all should have explained it
to her so she can start coping with it. This
delayed learning thing y'all allowing her to do is bad
for everybody, including the little girl.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I have more when to come back, all right?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
All right, see, we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry Letters
subject my husband ruined my summer. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
If you're a homeowner, you know it took years of saving,
planning and hard work to get in the door.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Didn't make that house a home. Now, all that effort has.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Built something hugely valuable, equity. It's the portion of your
home you truly own that can be tapped to fund
what's next. And Rocket Mortgage is here to help you
turn your home's equity into cash. Fund your next dream
with Rocket Mortgage. Visit rocket mortgage dot com today to
find out more. Rocket Mortgage LLC license in fifty states,
n MLS Consumer Access dot Org number thirty thirty.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is my husband ruined my summer.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Well, the summer got ruined, but it's really over the
two weeks that this girl came to stay with them.
This woman and man have been married five years. This
is second marriage. He had a little girl from a
previous relationship who's nine. They've been married five years, and
this is the first time that the wife has allowed
the daughter to spend time with him over extended period
(07:56):
of time because she's old and now, so that was good.
They live out of state, so he goes to drive
to Pensacola to get the daughter and ask you not
to go so he could spend some time with his daughter.
I understood that, you know, he could talk freely make
his daughter comfortable.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
He's big on making his daughter comfortable.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
And they were a little concerned because this is the
first time that the little girl would see him around
another woman that's not his mommy. Well, the other woman
is his wife. He ain't around another woman. The little
girl mama is the other woman right now, this other
(08:37):
woman is the wife. Now on this letter, I blame
the husband and the ex wife because they created this
entire situation.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Right here. Here was the crazy part.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
They get to the house and he refused to sleep
in the room with his wife the whole time his
daughter was there. He slept in the spare room down
there next to his daughter because he said she's too
young to understand that he has a new wife that
replaced her mama.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Well, ain't that what happened though? Ain't that what happened?
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So for the past five years that you've been living
with this other woman, who is your wife, that replaced
her mama? What y'all been telling this little girl? What
you been doing? You was in what was you in prison?
You had went to the stove. But what y'all been
(09:30):
telling this little girl? And you said as BS to me,
and I told him it was BS.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Every morning that he woke up and every night he
went to the other room.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
And you, madam, are one thousand percent correct, because it is.
He told me that I'm naive and I would understand
that if I had a child on my own.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Well, ain't that about the dumbest thing in the world.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
I think you're naive and you would understand if you
had a child of your own. I think fire hot,
but I ain't got to get on set on fire.
I didn't know that. What part of you not telling
the nine year old that I'm your wife is helpful
to anybody in this house. So who does this little
(10:13):
girl think this other woman is? You should explain to her.
And I'm gonna tell you something, my man, You spending
the night in that other room and not with your
wife is setting a bad example to your daughter, because
now your daughter is not clear of how women should
be treated. Because now, who is this other woman in
(10:35):
this room down the hallway. It is called a family,
and you should give her the idea of what her
family was. Now, me and your mommy had a family together,
but we didn't or work out together, so we separated
we still love us parents, but the two of us
(10:56):
didn't get along, so it was best that we didn't
live together. But we are still co parenting and we
both love you. Now I have a family. Now I
have a new wife. See the problem is here go
the problem. The mama ain't found nobody, and so now
(11:20):
she over there, she half mad, and.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
That and and and let me tell you something.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
When you said that, uh uh, this was the perfect
time to let his child know.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
About it. Uh.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
She that she has a step mom and I'm not
going anywhere. But instead he allowed his daughter to refer
to me as she and her and I want her
to acknowledge me as a parental figure.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well that's cool.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
I don't know what name you prefer, you know, Mama
em or or or miss h or or or Mama
t or some I don't know what other name you
want to be a parental name, but you get whatever
you want.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
But the problem is.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
The mama then told her that you go over there,
but that ain't your mama. I'm your mama. And don't
you call nobody else mom except me. Oh, she's been
instructed because children are not that evil.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Children don't own their own She heard.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
She has heard this said, and she's repeating what she's
been told or over her.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
You want to be acknowledged as to that.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
But he said it's too soon for her to process
all of this. Well, let me ask you something, brother,
when is she supposed to be able to process that
you ain't coming back. It's been five years. You don't
think that little girl then figured this out? No, man,
this is some hogwash you and your ex have put together.
(12:58):
And brother, you kind of handpacked to me little bit
to your ex because your loyalty should be to your
new wife, not to your ex. So to me, man,
you kind of handpecked to your ex wife. I don't
know what she got hanging over your head. I don't
know how y'all have decided to co parent his daughter,
but teaching her disrespect is not a good thing. I
(13:19):
want to know what he and his ex wife have
been telling her. That you ain't his mama, that you
ain't her mama, she ain't got to call you her mama,
and that that right there that they have ain't even
real because she destroyed your original family with me and
your daddy.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
All right, Steve lead your comments on today's Strawberry Letter
on Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey sm and check
us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free
iHeartRadio app, you're
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
Wegute it for you here. It is Strawberry letta.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
All right, nephew, thank you. Subject My husband ruined my summer.
My husband ruined my summer. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a
forty nine year old married woman. It's my first marriage
and my husband's second marriage. He has a nine year
old daughter from his first marriage, and she spent two
weeks with us this summer. We've been married for almost
(00:46):
five years, but this is the first time that his
ex wife let her comes stay with us, and I
understand it because she's older now. She lives in Pensacola,
So my husband drove her home and stayed overnight and
then drove back. He didn't want me to ride down
with him, and I didn't press the issue. He's big
on making his daughter feel comfortable since it was her
(01:08):
first time seeing him around another woman. Me. What bothered
me was that he refused to sleep in the room
with me the whole time his daughter was there. He
slept in the spare bedroom next to the room his
daughter slept in. He said she's too young to understand
that he has a new wife that replaced her Mommy.
It's BS to me, and I told him it was
(01:30):
BS every morning that he woke up and every night
that he went to the other room. He told me,
I'm naive and I would understand if I had a child.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Of my own.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
This was the perfect time to let his child know
that she is a stepmom and I'm not going anywhere,
But instead, he allowed his daughter to refer to me
as quotes she and her. I want her to acknowledge
me as a parental figure, but he says it's too
soon for her to process all of this. I want
to know what he and his ex wife have been
(02:01):
telling her. Seems odd that she doesn't know what a
stepparent is by now? What am I missing? Was my
husband wrong for acting like we're not a married couple,
or am I being naive, like he said, No, you're
not being naive. Your husband is being ridiculous. He's acting
like a scared little boy. His daughter is not a baby,
(02:24):
and at nine years old, she is more than capable
of understanding that daddy is remarried and you are his
new wife. She knows he doesn't live with you. She
knows he doesn't live with you and mommy anymore. Okay,
she is old enough to be sat down and talked to.
She needs to know the truth because, like you say,
(02:45):
you're not going anywhere. I guess that he loves her
and he wants to break it to her gently, but
not at your expense. Who does I mean, who does
his daughter think you are anyway? I mean you're there
at the house with her dad. Why does she think
you're living there? He's making you pay for something he
and his X should have taken care of long before
the child came to stay there. I think it's very
(03:07):
rude for her to refer to you as she and her,
not even saying your name or giving you a title
or anything. That's on the parents to set her straight
on that. I don't think he should even allow that
he's put you his wife of five years in the
most awkward space possible by not telling the little girl
who you are. You don't need to have a child
(03:29):
of your own to know that this is like you
say bs, shame on him for allowing his ex and
his daughter to treat you this way. I mean, he's
treating you horribly too, So speak up for yourself. Tell
him to let everyone involved in this mess know what's
going on. The daughter, the mother, him, everybody. His ex
(03:50):
needs to be in agreement because they should have nipped
this in the bud a long time ago. Steve.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Normally, when we do these letters, I try to offer
maybe counterbalance to something surely says right, so the letter
becomes interesting, so we're not beating the same drum over.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And up and order right.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I can't offer a counter here because this letter is
wrong on so many levels. You know, you're forty nine,
you're on your first marriage, just your husband's second. He
got a nine year old from his first marriage. Well,
the subject is my husband ruined my summer. But I
(04:29):
think we're only talking about two weeks ago. We've been
married for almost five years, but this is the first
time now they've been married five years, so that means
he's been away from the daughter of a minimum of
four years, but longer than that. See, the divorce is
when the court makes it legal. You probably were separated
(04:52):
or something. You didn't just wake up exactly five years
ago and go, hey, we divorced and it went down
to court and they gave it to you. It's a process.
So let's say the girl was three when you're filed
for divorce. Then the girl turned four and you got
the divorce. So it's been five years since your daddy
(05:14):
hasn't been around the girl in her life because you've
been married to this woman for five years now and
the first time she's let us stay with y'all cause
she's older now and you don't have a problem with
the ex right, So they live in Pensacola.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Now, your husband, let's start with this part. He drove
to pick up his daughter. He didn't want you to go.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
I understood that because maybe he wanted to spend that
time with his little girl and kind of prep her
for things to come, and spend some time with him
and make her feel special.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
And I said, okay, Well.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
He's big on making his daughter feel comfortable, like I said,
And this is our first time seeing him around another woman.
Well that dadd ain't been at the house for five
years now. I don't know where you think daddy was
and what you think that it was doing, but it's
time that you found out. What bothered me was he
refuses to sleep in the room with me the whole
(06:08):
time his daughter was there. He slept in the spare
bedroom next to the room she slept in. And said
she's too young to understand that he has a new
wife that replaced her mama.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
That is complete. Bs. Yeah, she is not too young,
she is nine.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
These are the facts, and y'all should have explained it
to her so she can start coping with it. This
delayed learning thing y'all allowing her to do is bad
for everybody, including the little girl.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I have more when to come back, all right?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
All right, see, we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry Letters
subject my husband ruined my summer. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
If you're a homeowner, you know it took years of saving,
planning and hard work to get in the door.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Didn't make that house a home. Now, all that effort has.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Built something hugely valuable, equity. It's the portion of your
home you truly own that can be tapped to fund
what's next. And Rocket Mortgage is here to help you
turn your home's equity into cash. Fund your next dream
with Rocket Mortgage. Visit rocket mortgage dot com today to
find out more. Rocket Mortgage LLC license in fifty states,
n MLS Consumer Access dot Org number thirty thirty.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is my husband ruined my summer.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Well, the summer got ruined, but it's really over the
two weeks that this girl came to stay with them.
This woman and man have been married five years. This
is second marriage. He had a little girl from a
previous relationship who's nine. They've been married five years, and
this is the first time that the wife has allowed
the daughter to spend time with him over extended period
(07:56):
of time because she's old and now, so that was good.
They live out of state, so he goes to drive
to Pensacola to get the daughter and ask you not
to go so he could spend some time with his daughter.
I understood that, you know, he could talk freely make
his daughter comfortable.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
He's big on making his daughter comfortable.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
And they were a little concerned because this is the
first time that the little girl would see him around
another woman that's not his mommy. Well, the other woman
is his wife. He ain't around another woman. The little
girl mama is the other woman right now, this other
(08:37):
woman is the wife. Now on this letter, I blame
the husband and the ex wife because they created this
entire situation.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Right here. Here was the crazy part.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
They get to the house and he refused to sleep
in the room with his wife the whole time his
daughter was there. He slept in the spare room down
there next to his daughter because he said she's too
young to understand that he has a new wife that
replaced her mama.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Well, ain't that what happened though? Ain't that what happened?
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So for the past five years that you've been living
with this other woman, who is your wife, that replaced
her mama? What y'all been telling this little girl? What
you been doing? You was in what was you in prison?
You had went to the stove. But what y'all been
(09:30):
telling this little girl? And you said as BS to me,
and I told him it was BS.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Every morning that he woke up and every night he
went to the other room.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
And you, madam, are one thousand percent correct, because it is.
He told me that I'm naive and I would understand
that if I had a child on my own.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Well, ain't that about the dumbest thing in the world.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
I think you're naive and you would understand if you
had a child of your own. I think fire hot,
but I ain't got to get on set on fire.
I didn't know that. What part of you not telling
the nine year old that I'm your wife is helpful
to anybody in this house. So who does this little
(10:13):
girl think this other woman is? You should explain to her.
And I'm gonna tell you something, my man, You spending
the night in that other room and not with your
wife is setting a bad example to your daughter, because
now your daughter is not clear of how women should
be treated. Because now, who is this other woman in
(10:35):
this room down the hallway. It is called a family,
and you should give her the idea of what her
family was. Now, me and your mommy had a family together,
but we didn't or work out together, so we separated
we still love us parents, but the two of us
(10:56):
didn't get along, so it was best that we didn't
live together. But we are still co parenting and we
both love you. Now I have a family. Now I
have a new wife. See the problem is here go
the problem. The mama ain't found nobody, and so now
(11:20):
she over there, she half mad, and.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
That and and and let me tell you something.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
When you said that, uh uh, this was the perfect
time to let his child know.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
About it. Uh.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
She that she has a step mom and I'm not
going anywhere. But instead he allowed his daughter to refer
to me as she and her and I want her
to acknowledge me as a parental figure.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well that's cool.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
I don't know what name you prefer, you know, Mama
em or or or miss h or or or Mama
t or some I don't know what other name you
want to be a parental name, but you get whatever
you want.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
But the problem is.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
The mama then told her that you go over there,
but that ain't your mama. I'm your mama. And don't
you call nobody else mom except me. Oh, she's been
instructed because children are not that evil.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Children don't own their own She heard.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
She has heard this said, and she's repeating what she's
been told or over her.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
You want to be acknowledged as to that.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
But he said it's too soon for her to process
all of this. Well, let me ask you something, brother,
when is she supposed to be able to process that
you ain't coming back. It's been five years. You don't
think that little girl then figured this out? No, man,
this is some hogwash you and your ex have put together.
(12:58):
And brother, you kind of handpacked to me little bit
to your ex because your loyalty should be to your
new wife, not to your ex. So to me, man,
you kind of handpecked to your ex wife. I don't
know what she got hanging over your head. I don't
know how y'all have decided to co parent his daughter,
but teaching her disrespect is not a good thing. I
(13:19):
want to know what he and his ex wife have
been telling her. That you ain't his mama, that you
ain't her mama, she ain't got to call you her mama,
and that that right there that they have ain't even
real because she destroyed your original family with me and
your daddy.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
All right, Steve lead your comments on today's Strawberry Letter
on Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey sm and check
us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free
iHeartRadio app, you're
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com