Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letters Steve HAARBFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on time.
We got it for you. Here it is is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Thank you, nephew. Subject my mama versus my wife. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I met my wife four years ago, and
I've been sneaking around behind her back since I met her.
I haven't been cheating. I'm sure that's what you're thinking,
but I've been seeing my mama on the side. When
I first met my wife, I explained to her that
my dad passed away in twenty twenty and since then
(00:47):
I've stepped up to take care of my mama and
make sure she's good. At the time, my wife understood
where I was coming from because she's a big She's
big on family too. A few weeks into dating, she
told me that she hates mama's boys. I already knew
I wanted to marry this woman, so I downplayed everything
I did for my mama. I lied about taking my
(01:08):
mama to dinner, or taking her to the movies, and
shopping with her for hours on the weekend. My girl
thought I was at the gym or doing hard yard work,
or doing yard work or whatever other lie I told her.
She trusted me and never questioned me. My girl met
my mama and they started hanging out before the wedding.
I knew I was in trouble. Mama told her about
(01:29):
a movie that we saw together, and my girl had
been asking me to see that movie with her. I
told her that my mom had it wrong, and I
never saw that movie with her, and then I had
to go back to the movies to see it with
my girl. Now that we've been married for four months,
it's hard to sneak out to see my mom. I
cannot hide how much my Mama calls me, and I
(01:50):
can't explain why I FaceTime my mom so much. I'm
the youngest and I am her favorite son. I'd love
for her to live with us, but here to ask
my wife because I can tell and since that she's
tired of my mama? What am I supposed to do?
How can I keep both of the special women in
(02:11):
my life happy?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Woo?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
All right, yeah exactly, Steve. I know that your mom
and everything, but you do realize that your wife comes first,
right You guys have only been married for four months.
Your initial obligation after you took those marriage vows is
to your wife. And now should you help your mom?
Should you be there whenever you can? Absolutely yes? But
(02:37):
can you Will you be there every second of the
day for your mom? The answer to that, of course,
is no. You're only one person and you're a husband.
A husband first, you can't keep doing this. The way
you're going about it is crazy and I'm sure very stressful,
and it keeps you sneaking out and lying to your
wife and making your mom feel some kind of way.
(02:59):
I'm sure what about when or if you have kids
of your own, then what are you going to do?
This is why your wife said she hates Mama's boys
because they do stupid stuff like this. You say you
can since your wife is tired of all of this,
but really she's tired of you, okay, And how you're
(03:19):
handling this situation? You should get your siblings together, let them,
you know, help out and help your mom. Sometimes what
are they doing? I bet they're spending time with their
wives and family, right, But if everyone chips in helps
take care of your mom, you would have more time
to spend with your wife. You guys could rotate these responsibilities.
You might be the favorite son, But why should you
(03:41):
bear the bulk of the responsibility with your mom?
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Steve, this is a disaster my mama versus my wife.
It shouldn't even be the case. See son, listen to me.
You're not just the end of the letter. The question
is how do I how can I keep both of them,
the special women in my life happy?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
That ain't your job. I'm sorry, that ain't your job.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
That was your dad's job who passed away. What's to
protect provide for his wife? He's gone regrettably so and
send my condolences to you that. I'm not trying to
say that in a harsh way, because Lord knows I
know the loss of both parents, So I'm not saying
that to you, but I'm saying, brother, that was his job.
(04:37):
Your job is to protect, profess and provide for your wife.
What you're trying to do, you're not going to accomplish.
And then secondly, man, stop talking all this about your mama.
This you you a mama's boy. You are a mama's boy, period.
(04:59):
It is hard, oh, to be a mama's boy and
a husband them too do is not work, man, That
don't work for nobody.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
It ain't gonna work for your mama. And I got
news for you. It show ain't gonna work for your wife.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Because a wife requires too much, and as she should.
A wife needs your attention and oftentimes your undivided attention
and you can't split that up with other people. Look, man,
if y'all gonna have a family, you gotta get busy.
(05:41):
And you just you know, man, you do you do
real silly stuff. Man, you just a how old are you?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Man?
Speaker 4 (05:48):
That's what I need to know. You know, I stepped
up take care of my mama and make sure you're good.
At the time, my wife understood why I was coming
from because she big on family too. Yeah that's but
she didn't know this though. You know, a few weeks
sitting to Dayton, she told me she hate mama boys. Well, yeah,
(06:09):
I already knew I wanted to marry this woman. So
I downplayed everything, and so you know, after you downplayed everything,
but she was down playing it, so you could continue. Okay,
I lied about taking my mama and to dinner, taking
her to the movie, shopping with the five hours on
(06:31):
the weekend. Who do that with they mama?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Hang on, Steve, hang on?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
So what man do that with his mama?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour today Strawberry Letters. Subject
is my mama versus my wife? My mama versus my wife.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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Speaker 1 (07:30):
All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is my mama Versus my wife.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
My mama versus my wife Thailand.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
This letter should be mama's boy trying to be a
hoosban and it's not going to work. And the reason
is not going to work is because the things that
you are doing for your mother is taking away time
from stuff you could be when with and for your wife.
(08:04):
Now you open up the letter correctly. I see now
why you said this. I met my wife four years ago,
and I've been sneaking around behind her back since I
met her. Oh, I ain't been cheating. I'm sure that's
what you're thinking. But I've been seeing my mama on
the side right there. That's the whole letter right there.
I'm glad you said that, because see, that's what's wrong.
(08:24):
Do you know something, young man, that you are really
actually seeing your mama on the side. You know, I
ain't never I've never ever in my life heard a
man say that.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
I'm seeing my mama on the side.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
I've been sneaking around behind my wife's back with my mama.
I've been I've been seeing my mama on the side.
But do you know how that sound?
Speaker 3 (08:51):
That don't sound what's the word of that don't sound right?
Speaker 4 (08:59):
Kind of got a little incense tone any and I'm
just saying it just got a little incense tone inny.
Hey dog, that's this this letter. And then you go
on to justify what you've been doing. I explained that
my dad passed away in twenty twenty and you wanted
to step up make sure your mama was good. Now,
your girl understood that didn't begin it because she big
(09:20):
on family too. But a few weeks in the day
and she told me she hates mama's boys because she
saw it coming. She had a feeling, and you have
not let her down. So you knew you wanted to
marry this woman. So you started down playing everything you
did for your mama, And then here we go. I
lied about taking my mama to dinner, taking her to
(09:40):
the movies, and shopping with her for hours on the weekend.
My girl thought I was out to gym or doing
yard work or whatever other lie I told her.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
She trusted me and never questioned me. Hey man, what.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
You take your mama to dinner, You go to movies
with your mama, and you spend hours on the week
in shopping with her. That's why you said you seeing
your mama on the side, because that's what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Man.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Demn me girl met your mama and they started hanging
out for the wed and I knew I was in trouble.
Mama told her about a movie we saw together. My
girl been asked me to see that movie with her.
I told her my mama had it wrong and never
saw that movie with her, and I had to go
back to the movies with my.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Girl to see it again.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Now that we been married for foremost, it's hard to
sneak out to see my mom. Boy, what what's wrong
with you?
Speaker 3 (10:31):
You you hear how you sound?
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Now that we been married, it's hard to sneak out
and see my mom. I can't hide how much my
mama calls me, and I can't explain why I facetied
my mom. So I'm like, man, boyd hey, man, your
marriage is doomed. Your marriage is doomed because you you
really all see in your mama. And I've never heard
another man say that I'm seeing my mama on the side.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
But that's what you're doing. Man.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
I'm the youngest and I'm her favorite. So I was
my mama's youngest. I thought I was her favorite son.
But me and my mama wasn't dating. I ain't nothing
my life to my mama to move. Come on, let
(11:22):
me and you go down to the movies. I mean,
it's okay if you did it for your mama every
now and then or something like that. Ain't nothing wrong
with take your mama to dinner. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
Ain't no running wrong with take y'all. I used to
take my mama shopping all the time. But you dog,
I'm scared. And then and then she didn't guess what
I'd love for her to live with us. Boy, you
(11:43):
done lost your line. You want to move your mama
in your house?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Boy?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
What's wrong with you? What am I supposed to do?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
And I could tell I'm scared to ask my wife
because I can tell since that she's tired of mama.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Yeah, she tired of you. Mom.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
It's sick and tired of your mama. I'm tired of
your mama. I ain't never met him. The problem is
you seeing your mama on the side. Brother, let me
explain something to you. There's no solution to this. You
will not be married to this woman. Law because guess
what she is going to find out about all this?
(12:25):
And I'm gonna tell you why. Because soon as the
mama thank you then came between you and her, the
mama gonna get.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Rid of you.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
The mama is gonna get rid of him, you're saying.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
The mama gonna get rid of her, Oh, the wife,
soon as she finds out that you the reason.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
He ain't coming by no more, He ain't calling, he
ain't going to dinner, he ain't.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Doing now.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Because she done married the wrong man, because you ain't
her man. You your mama's boy. That's why she hates
and that is more important to you than anything. And
until you put your wife first, as the Bible says,
leave all others and cleave only onto her.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Well, bro, you gotta twist it man. Good luck.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Man. This ain't gonna work. Hey man, about two years
from now, write me back. Let me know where you're
living at now.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Where is his's siblings?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Where are they now?
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Don't got nothing to do with this? They cool because
he ain't got to worry about nothing yet in the
help all right.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
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