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August 1, 2025 13 mins

The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, Friday, August 1st, 2025. Subject: "My Man Has No Home Training"

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEARVFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
All right, and if you thank you.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Subject my new man has no home training. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I met a man that I'm dating on a dating app.
We have a lot in common and we enjoy the
same types of movies and music. I love to ride
my bike and he loves to jog, so I was
happy about that. The only thing we don't have in
common is home training. He doesn't have any. He was

(00:50):
raised in the Midwest, and he has a problem with manners.
He and his parents talk like their old friends. So
what if he's forty five. He shouldn't be using a
lot of profanity conversation with his parents. He certainly can't
do that around my parents when we're out at restaurants.
He points to what he wants on the menu and
then tries to add substitutions to everything he orders. He's

(01:12):
cooked for me once and we ate on paper plates,
so I could not tell if the food was good
or not since it wasn't plated correctly. I feel like
a man his age with such a good job should
be more refined in conversation. He will often refer to
a woman as the B word and the men as
the N word. He has me afraid to have sex
with him because he keeps telling me that he's going

(01:34):
to put it on me and I'm going to need
gatorade after that. That's not sexy talk to me. And
the two months that I've known him, I keep asking
him to tone it down, talk softer, and be more
polite when we go out to dinner. He told me
that I would have to get used to a down
to earth man like him because he isn't going to
change at his age. I want him to be polite

(01:56):
and respectful to others and around others he is when
it's just the two of us. I also don't want
him to use his foul language around my parents. I
hate to throw a good man away because of this,
and can a forty five year old man change his ways? Well,
let's be honest here, this man is just not for you,
I mean, and what makes him such a good man

(02:18):
in your eyes?

Speaker 3 (02:20):
First of all, forty five isn't that old.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
He is young enough to learn some manners in some refinement,
that's if, and it's a big if, if he wants to.
He doesn't think he needs to change right now. So
you're going to have to take him like he is
or leave. I mean, those are your options. I mean,
I agree that manners are a lost art, they are important,
and he's very far far gone calling women the B word.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
I mean that's inappropriate.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Tell him how you feel and see what he says,
and see what he does. More importantly, if it's not
to your liking and your expectations, I say, don't waste
any more time with him. Don't settle if this isn't
what you want.

Speaker 4 (02:59):
Steve, Oh okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 (03:06):
This is a letter about the unrefined.

Speaker 4 (03:10):
I had to look it up because I've been referred
to myself as a country bumpkin, So this is probably
what this is right here.

Speaker 5 (03:18):
So let's go get this letter out the way.

Speaker 4 (03:20):
Let me straighten you out on a couple of things,
and then I'm gonna do a reenactment of how he
talking to your parents and all the stuff I know
he said, cause I've been around people like this my
whole life. Matter of fact, I want to just say this,
I enjoyed reading this letter because I feel like I
know several people that could have wrote this letter, or
at least I know who this letter is about.

Speaker 5 (03:43):
Let a man online.

Speaker 4 (03:44):
We got a lot in common, like the same movies
and music and everything. I like to ride my bike.
He liked the job, so I was happy. Only thing
we ain't got in common is he ain't got.

Speaker 5 (03:54):
No home trade.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
He was raised in the Midwestern. He got a problem
with me. Now, I don't know how you connected them to. Yeah,
you said, he don't. Hey, he was raised in the Midwest,
and he has a problem with manners. I know a
lot of people in the mid West have got great manners,
so I don't know how you connected them to. He

(04:18):
and his parents talk like their old friend. Dadd Hey,
what you been.

Speaker 5 (04:25):
Doing with your old you good though? Hey Hey hey
hey hey hey hey daddy, hear you breathing?

Speaker 4 (04:34):
Man, go in ahead and do something with yourself. Call
me back when you get your breast together. Yeah, hey, dad,
remember that time you gave me that whooping.

Speaker 5 (04:43):
I'm gonna be over there about five minutes. I'm finna
whoop you. Okay.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
He shouldn't be using for fanity in conversation with his parents.
He certainly couldn't do that around mine. Then, when y'all
go out to the restaurants, he points to what he
wants on the menu, did tries to add substitutions to
his artist. I know exactly how this is going. I
would like the spaghetti, the spaghetti right, meat sauce. Yes, Now,

(05:13):
excuse me, ma'am. I don't want to spaghetti though. Yeah,
I want to put spaghetti and meat sauce, but I
don't want to spaghetti. Also, I like order of pancakes, okay,

(05:36):
but I don't want you to make it with batter,
you know, Just do something else with mine.

Speaker 5 (05:42):
I don't like and uh, let me see what else
am I going on?

Speaker 2 (05:49):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (05:49):
And uh that sweet potato with the butter on it.
I don't want the butter. I want uh uh croc spread.

Speaker 5 (06:03):
Do y'all have? I can't believe it's butter I woke that.

Speaker 4 (06:10):
So anyway, that's what's going on. But he does everything wrong.
He played at your food one time he cooked for you,
but you couldn't tell him if it was good or
not because it wasn't played it correctly. Oh you don't
like your food? Touch well, when you go in your stomach,
ain't he gonna touch? See that's the problem she had

(06:32):
what to do with no manners? Call women the B
word and call me in the end word.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
Well, hang on, hang on, Steve.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry Letters. Subject is my
man has no home training. We'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
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Speaker 5 (07:18):
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Speaker 2 (07:19):
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Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, come on, Steve Let's recap today. Strawberry letter.
The subject is my new man has no home training.

Speaker 5 (07:37):
All right, this is the problem.

Speaker 4 (07:38):
They've met online, they've been dating and everything, and she
loves the guy. They work out, they do things together,
like same music and everything. But she says he's from
the Mia and Western. He ain't got no home training,
so that's been a problem for her. He was raised
in the me and West, she say, But that don't
make no sense here. And his parents talk like their
old friends. He uses profanity with his parents, and he

(08:01):
certainly can't do that around mine. When you at the restaurant,
he points out what he wants on the menu, and
then he always substitutes everything. So you know, I gave
the example like, you know, hey, I like this spaghetti,
please with meat sauce or excuse me, ma'am, but I
don't want to spaghetti. Put mine on. Put my meat
sauce from the spaghetti on some Now. I don't care

(08:25):
what you I just want substitute. Yeah, And also, ma'am,
I like the Philly cheese sandwich, Philly cheese steak sandwich.
But I don't want the steak, all.

Speaker 5 (08:38):
Right, No, I don't want chicken. But what meat do
you want on it?

Speaker 4 (08:42):
Y'all got pig feet back there, so anyway, And then
he cooked for me once and we ate on paper plates,
so I could not tell if the food was good
or not since it wasn't plated properly. I don't even
know what that means. Lady, Well, how'd you want him
to play the food? I just feel like a man

(09:04):
with a good job should be more refined In conversation,
he offs to refers to women as the B word
and men as the N word. He has me afraid
to have sex with him because he keep telling me
that he gonna put it on me and I'm gonna
need gator rade afterwards. Now, I don't know why that's

(09:27):
you wanna talk to this woman that way that you
even met him this day now, because you know, you
already know she physically active because she rides bikes, and
he liked the job, so she figured that, you know,
since he liked the job, she could ride next to
him on his bike. Yeah, Oh, you think you're on
that bicycle seat. You wait a I get on you.

(09:47):
You're gonna need gator rade. You're gonna need gatorade because
we're gonna be out here like we're on a football field.
Yeah yeah, yeah, that's what we can do. Oh that's real, section,
she says, that's not sexy. Talked to me two months
I've known him. I keep asking him to Tony down
talks off to be more polite when we go out
to dinner.

Speaker 5 (10:05):
He told me I gotta get used to it, down to.

Speaker 4 (10:07):
Earth man like him, because he isn't going to change
at his age. I want him be polite and respectful
to others and around others like he is when he's
just the two of us. I also don't want him
to use file language around my parents. I hate to
throw a good man away because of this. Can a
forty five year old man change in his ways? Well,
he may not be a good man. I've told you, ladies,

(10:32):
once and for all. All men can change, and all
men will change, but there's only one woman that we
are changing for the rest of You get what it is,
and you are in the rest of them category right
now because he told you he ain't changing, So now
listen to me. Stop letting men tell you what they

(10:55):
not gonna do when it's an honorable request of yours,
and then thinking you're throwing away a good man, listen
to me one more time.

Speaker 5 (11:04):
All men can.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
Change, all men will change, but there's only one woman
that we are changing for the rest of You get
what it is. And he then told you you just
have to get what it is. You gotta get used
to it. Down the earth man like him, because he
ain't gonna change it his age.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
He just wrong.

Speaker 5 (11:23):
Now let's do a little re enactment.

Speaker 4 (11:25):
Shirley Caller asked me anything, and I'm gonna show you
this down to earth man that don't care nothing about nothing.

Speaker 5 (11:31):
Go ahe any question?

Speaker 3 (11:32):
Yea, honey, any baby.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
I'm calling you baby, but you know what I want
to say, though It started with a bee. But I'm
gonna call you baby though. But everybody alcording to this
letter is to be worried in the N word. But well,
I'm talking to you, if baby, go ahead, baby.

Speaker 3 (11:49):
What you want?

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Well, my parents have invited us to dinner tomorrow night,
and uh they want us to be there around eight.
And I just want you to know that I know
you have a different relationship with your parents. My parents
are yeah yeah, yeah, So.

Speaker 5 (12:05):
Well let me ask you something. What do your daddy do.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
He's retired. Please don't ask him that like that.

Speaker 5 (12:14):
Okay, all behind had to get out her? Did did
he did?

Speaker 4 (12:19):
He retire on his owner? They gave a set out program.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
He retired on his own.

Speaker 5 (12:25):
Yeah. How tall is it?

Speaker 3 (12:28):
Who? My dad?

Speaker 5 (12:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (12:30):
Your daddy, Yeah, he's about six six something six'.

Speaker 5 (12:35):
Three, okay, okay that's. Good that's that's good size for a.
Man whatever going?

Speaker 4 (12:40):
On, well you, KNOW i you, Know i'll go to.
Dinner i'll go to dinner IF i. Can but you,
know you, know it just it's just depends on what
they want to. Eat, now because you know HOW i
like mos. SPAGHETTI i like mos spaghetti without a.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Spaghetti, well you know you know THAT i would like
for you to have proper table man when we get.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
There you know you do, Know oh, no, no hey.

Speaker 5 (13:03):
Hey, baby hey, baby hey. Baby that ain't from. HIM
i eat LIKE i.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Eat, well not in front of my, parents, THOUGH i
don't want you to do. That you, well you know
they didn't turn their.

Speaker 5 (13:13):
Head BUT i don't LIKE i don't like all the
faults and stuff on the, page.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
That ballad fork and the dinner fork and you, don't,
yeah you. Don't oh, god this this may not be a.
Yeah oh, boy what's gonna?

Speaker 3 (13:29):
SAY a couple's? Trip we want to? Go you want
to go on all go nowhere with other? People oh?

Speaker 5 (13:34):
God.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Hey you can comment On Today's Strawberry letter And instagram
And facebook At Steve HARVEY. Fm also check out The
Strawberry letter podcast on the Free iHeartRadio. App you're listening
to The Steve Harvey Morning show
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Host

Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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