November 20, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Thursday, November 20th, 2025. Subject: "My Success Is Intimidating"
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buggel up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry. Let up.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you, nephew. Subject my success is intimidating. Dear Stephen Shirley.
I'm thirty seven and never been married. I was in
a four year relationship and when I got promoted, my
boyfriend left the relationship. We met on an online dating
site for professionals, and we were compatible on so many levels.
(00:47):
He is an administrator at his job and I was
a team leader. When we started dating. I wanted love
and he provided that. But he also added a lot
of competition to our relationship. When I get dressed in
the morning to head out to work, he'd say I
looked powerful instead of beautiful, and he would tell me
to boss up if I complained about stress at work.
(01:07):
He treated me like he was my mentor and I
was beneath them professionally, but I actually made more money
than him. Then I got a promotion and a company car,
and he overheard me telling my mom what I'd be
making annually. He insinuated that I was too close to
my boss and that's why I got a promotion. We
(01:28):
argued for days, and then he moved out. Since we
broke up, I've had a few dates, but I haven't
found a man that matches me intellectually or financially. One
guy told me that my success is very intimidating. I
wish men could see my sweet and nurturing side, but
as soon as I tell them what I do for
a living, they decide that I don't have time for
(01:51):
a relationship. I have thought about telling guys that I
have an entry level job, just to see if they
would ask me out again. There are so many these
sides of me, and I would hate to have to
diminish all that I am to satisfy a man. My
ex married and art teacher go figure. So are women
expected to bet our eyelashes and act needy to get
(02:14):
a husband. That's true for insecure, controlling men. If you
want that for your husband, they do try to compete
with you and knock you down a few pegs, But
you shouldn't have to dim your light or make yourself
smaller for any man. A real man would want you
to be all that you can be and would support
you every step of the way. He would celebrate you.
(02:37):
Relationships are supposed to be partnerships that lead to marriage
or whatever, and unfortunately a lot of women do dumb
themselves down to get a man. My advice to you
is simply to be yourself. Don't change who you are,
shine brightly, wait for the right man to come along
and to accept you for who you are a strong,
(02:58):
confident woman. I mean, the people at your job see it.
Why can't he? Why can't your ex see it? Steve?
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Real men are not intimidated by women, period.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Real men are not intimidated by women.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Period.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Now, if you're dating an underdeveloped man, that was your pick.
You picked him. So listen. I understand the narrative that
women have created. And this is more or less about
an open discussion between me and the ladies on the.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Show, because this letter.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Is how many times have we heard this that women
live under the guys or the illusion or delusion that
men are intimidated by your success. Now I offer this
to you, sometimes men are not intimidated but ashamed. Sometimes
(04:01):
men are not where they want to be and are
a bit embarrassed by it when they find out that
you are, and because it becomes a bit of shame
and embarrassment.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
But there are so many women that.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Have taken this and turned it into I intimidate them.
And I guess that was a fair thing for you
all to say, because.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
It sounds empowering.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
But I want to just offer you an alternative line
of thinking. And if you had this alternative line of thinking,
it can help you cope with it. Now, Steve, why
women always got the dumb it down?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
And figure this out?
Speaker 3 (04:50):
You do want to wrote the letter in and say
you want somebody. I ain't never wrote a letter in
and said I wanted nobody. So now if you want somebody,
there's a game to this.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
There's some gamesmanship.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
It's gamesmanship that men have to play to get you,
and you know it. And it's things that you require
and you know it. So when something gets required of you,
some type of gamesmanship, you ain't got to get mad
at Uncle Steve because he telling you the game.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I'm just trying to help you with the game. Now.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I could use this letter, which I think i'll do,
but I wanted to say that first so we could
get on the same page. I really want women to
understand this. Y'all met online for professionals, and we were
compatible on so many levels. He's an administrator. I was
a team leader. I wanted love and all this here.
(05:47):
When I got dressed in the morning the head to work,
he'd say I look powerful instead of beautiful. He would
tell me the boss up. If I complained about stress
at the work. He treated me like my mentor, and
I will beneath him professionally. You the one went on
this dating site for professionals. That's where you went. You
(06:09):
looked for people with similar mind sex. You want a
professional man, but what you oftentimes forget is a lot
of men bringing their jobs home. So that guy that's
a professional at work, he tried. He acts like he's
(06:31):
a professional at the house too. Boss up, you look
powerful today.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Goodbye. All right, we'll have part two of your response
coming up. Steve At twenty three minutes after the hour,
Today's Strawberry letter, subject my success is intimidating. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening to the
Steve Harvey Morning Show. Holidays. It's hard to find the
(07:01):
right gifts, but you know it's even harder getting the
right gift. But get this. Verizon's got the perfect solve
for both. They have incredible gift bundles. You get the
latest phone with a new line on my plan and
a brand new smartwatch and tablet, no trade in needed.
You can give a couple away and get yourself one too,
(07:24):
or you could keep them all to yourself. No one
has to know. Stop by your local Verizon. All right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject
is my success is intimidating.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Okay, I've told you the way that I want you
all sometimes to consider this, and I appreciate it. I
understand why you say it's intimidating, because intimidating is a
more empowering urn.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I'll give it to you.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
And you've earned what you've earned, and you deserve to
be where you are, and congratulations. But a real man
is not intimidated by your success. Now, some men are
a shamed of where they are. So there's a bit
of shame when they meet a woman who has it together,
and a bit of what he called it, disappointment in themselves.
(08:11):
But if you want to call it intimidation for the
sake of the letter, Okay, so you're intimidating, I'm just
offering your way. So now, but I want to show
you something in this letter that I just noticed you.
So you were in a four year relationship then and
when you got promoted, your boyfriend left the relationship. Now
(08:31):
you met on an online dating site for professionals. Right here,
you went seeking this type of man, where you got it.
We would compare on so many levels. He's an administrator
at his job. I was a team leader. When we
started dating. I wanted love and he provided that. But
he also added a lot of competition to our relationship. Okay,
(08:53):
you're in the professional zone. Now, that's what y'all do
in corporate America. When I got dressed in the morning
to head out the work, he said I look powerful
instead of I look beautiful. He would tell me to
boss up if I complain about stress at work. See,
you meet these professional men, so you think, and they
bring their job home because he thinks that's what you like.
(09:14):
And now that's what he trying to be. Now he
go to park right here. He treated me like he
was my mentor and I was beneath him professionally. Whoa
wait a minute, now hold up. Now, you either want
a man in charge. You want a man that was
shureley you can crown. You want a man that's a
(09:36):
I don't know what you want because when he acts
like he you minutor, mentor, and then you say I
was beneath him professionally, but I actually made more money
than him. Okay, See, you got to make up your
mind now. Oh, because you make more money than him,
(09:58):
he can't tell you nothing, He can't act like he
ment of you. He do know the male side of
things that he can offer to you and that you
may not have from female perspective.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Okay, but actually mail more money him.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Then I got a promotion and a company car, and
he overheard me telling my mom what I'd be making annually.
He insinuated that I was too close to my boss
and that's why I got a promotion. Oh now he
gonna make you think you slip your way to the tongue.
I understand your ankle. Like I said, systems, you got
your education, you did the credentials, you put your time in.
(10:35):
You deserve to be who you're gonna be. We arguing
for days, and then he moved out. He couldn't take
it no more because I think he got ashamed of
where you were getting to.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
And he wasn't.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Because now he mentoring you getting promotions, company cars, making
most salary.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
All this him.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Now, since we broke up, you had a few dates,
and I ain't found a man that matches me intellectually
or financially. One guy told me that my success was
very intimidating. I told you, real men, not intimidate that
this little boy you'd have met with all these little
hang ups in his own little life.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
That's what he gonna tell you. I wish men could
see my sweet and nurturing inside.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
But as soon as I tell him what I do
for a living, they decide that I don't have time
for me this. I've thought about telling guys that have
an entry level God, just to see if they would
ask me how to Can all right?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Go ahead? Try to do now?
Speaker 3 (11:32):
So many sides of me I would hate to have
to diminish all that I am to satisfy a man.
So let me ask you a question when you say
you don't want to diminish all that I am just
to satisfy man.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
So what are you leading with all this in the conversation?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Have you made this a level of importance to you
because you don't want you You can't find a man
that intellectually matches you or financially that seems to be
a package deal with you.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
So now.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Are you looking for a good man or are you
looking for a certain type of man? And it's okay,
you got every right to want what you want, but
in here can be part of the problem because if
you're not just looking for a good man, if you're
looking for a good man with a certain type of
(12:33):
job making a certain amount of money, then get in line,
because everybody looking for him. So I'm not gonna be
able to help you because you've created all of the
stereotypes that keep you right where you need to be.
You're intimidating to men you make more money than him.
(12:53):
How he mint her in me? Okay, I don't know
what to tell you. My ex maritor, art teacher, go figure, Yeah, yeah,
he got he married art teacher, Go figure, what's you?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
You? You you throwing me a little bit? What's the
matter with the art teacher?
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Well, oh, she ain't a professional, she ain't a team leader,
or she don't make the money you make. Oh all right,
so now you ain't happy what men make all other women.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
From Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
And so women expected to better hour lives and that
needy four husband.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I like our last bat Oh stop that.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free Heart
Radio app. We never sounded so good. You can download
it Today you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buggel up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry. Let up.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you, nephew. Subject my success is intimidating. Dear Stephen Shirley.
I'm thirty seven and never been married. I was in
a four year relationship and when I got promoted, my
boyfriend left the relationship. We met on an online dating
site for professionals, and we were compatible on so many levels.
(00:47):
He is an administrator at his job and I was
a team leader. When we started dating. I wanted love
and he provided that. But he also added a lot
of competition to our relationship. When I get dressed in
the morning to head out to work, he'd say I
looked powerful instead of beautiful, and he would tell me
to boss up if I complained about stress at work.
(01:07):
He treated me like he was my mentor and I
was beneath them professionally, but I actually made more money
than him. Then I got a promotion and a company car,
and he overheard me telling my mom what I'd be
making annually. He insinuated that I was too close to
my boss and that's why I got a promotion. We
(01:28):
argued for days, and then he moved out. Since we
broke up, I've had a few dates, but I haven't
found a man that matches me intellectually or financially. One
guy told me that my success is very intimidating. I
wish men could see my sweet and nurturing side, but
as soon as I tell them what I do for
a living, they decide that I don't have time for
(01:51):
a relationship. I have thought about telling guys that I
have an entry level job, just to see if they
would ask me out again. There are so many these
sides of me, and I would hate to have to
diminish all that I am to satisfy a man. My
ex married and art teacher go figure. So are women
expected to bet our eyelashes and act needy to get
(02:14):
a husband. That's true for insecure, controlling men. If you
want that for your husband, they do try to compete
with you and knock you down a few pegs, But
you shouldn't have to dim your light or make yourself
smaller for any man. A real man would want you
to be all that you can be and would support
you every step of the way. He would celebrate you.
(02:37):
Relationships are supposed to be partnerships that lead to marriage
or whatever, and unfortunately a lot of women do dumb
themselves down to get a man. My advice to you
is simply to be yourself. Don't change who you are,
shine brightly, wait for the right man to come along
and to accept you for who you are a strong,
(02:58):
confident woman. I mean, the people at your job see it.
Why can't he? Why can't your ex see it? Steve?
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Real men are not intimidated by women, period.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Real men are not intimidated by women.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Period.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Now, if you're dating an underdeveloped man, that was your pick.
You picked him. So listen. I understand the narrative that
women have created. And this is more or less about
an open discussion between me and the ladies on the.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Show, because this letter.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Is how many times have we heard this that women
live under the guys or the illusion or delusion that
men are intimidated by your success. Now I offer this
to you, sometimes men are not intimidated but ashamed. Sometimes
(04:01):
men are not where they want to be and are
a bit embarrassed by it when they find out that
you are, and because it becomes a bit of shame
and embarrassment.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
But there are so many women that.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Have taken this and turned it into I intimidate them.
And I guess that was a fair thing for you
all to say, because.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
It sounds empowering.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
But I want to just offer you an alternative line
of thinking. And if you had this alternative line of thinking,
it can help you cope with it. Now, Steve, why
women always got the dumb it down?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
And figure this out?
Speaker 3 (04:50):
You do want to wrote the letter in and say
you want somebody. I ain't never wrote a letter in
and said I wanted nobody. So now if you want somebody,
there's a game to this.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
There's some gamesmanship.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
It's gamesmanship that men have to play to get you,
and you know it. And it's things that you require
and you know it. So when something gets required of you,
some type of gamesmanship, you ain't got to get mad
at Uncle Steve because he telling you the game.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I'm just trying to help you with the game. Now.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I could use this letter, which I think i'll do,
but I wanted to say that first so we could
get on the same page. I really want women to
understand this. Y'all met online for professionals, and we were
compatible on so many levels. He's an administrator. I was
a team leader. I wanted love and all this here.
(05:47):
When I got dressed in the morning the head to work,
he'd say I look powerful instead of beautiful. He would
tell me the boss up. If I complained about stress
at the work. He treated me like my mentor, and
I will beneath him professionally. You the one went on
this dating site for professionals. That's where you went. You
(06:09):
looked for people with similar mind sex. You want a
professional man, but what you oftentimes forget is a lot
of men bringing their jobs home. So that guy that's
a professional at work, he tried. He acts like he's
(06:31):
a professional at the house too. Boss up, you look
powerful today.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Goodbye. All right, we'll have part two of your response
coming up. Steve At twenty three minutes after the hour,
Today's Strawberry letter, subject my success is intimidating. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening to the
Steve Harvey Morning Show. Holidays. It's hard to find the
(07:01):
right gifts, but you know it's even harder getting the
right gift. But get this. Verizon's got the perfect solve
for both. They have incredible gift bundles. You get the
latest phone with a new line on my plan and
a brand new smartwatch and tablet, no trade in needed.
You can give a couple away and get yourself one too,
(07:24):
or you could keep them all to yourself. No one
has to know. Stop by your local Verizon. All right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject
is my success is intimidating.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Okay, I've told you the way that I want you
all sometimes to consider this, and I appreciate it. I
understand why you say it's intimidating, because intimidating is a
more empowering urn.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I'll give it to you.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
And you've earned what you've earned, and you deserve to
be where you are, and congratulations. But a real man
is not intimidated by your success. Now, some men are
a shamed of where they are. So there's a bit
of shame when they meet a woman who has it together,
and a bit of what he called it, disappointment in themselves.
(08:11):
But if you want to call it intimidation for the
sake of the letter, Okay, so you're intimidating, I'm just
offering your way. So now, but I want to show
you something in this letter that I just noticed you.
So you were in a four year relationship then and
when you got promoted, your boyfriend left the relationship. Now
(08:31):
you met on an online dating site for professionals. Right here,
you went seeking this type of man, where you got it.
We would compare on so many levels. He's an administrator
at his job. I was a team leader. When we
started dating. I wanted love and he provided that. But
he also added a lot of competition to our relationship. Okay,
(08:53):
you're in the professional zone. Now, that's what y'all do
in corporate America. When I got dressed in the morning
to head out the work, he said I look powerful
instead of I look beautiful. He would tell me to
boss up if I complain about stress at work. See,
you meet these professional men, so you think, and they
bring their job home because he thinks that's what you like.
(09:14):
And now that's what he trying to be. Now he
go to park right here. He treated me like he
was my mentor and I was beneath him professionally. Whoa
wait a minute, now hold up. Now, you either want
a man in charge. You want a man that was
shureley you can crown. You want a man that's a
(09:36):
I don't know what you want because when he acts
like he you minutor, mentor, and then you say I
was beneath him professionally, but I actually made more money
than him. Okay, See, you got to make up your
mind now. Oh, because you make more money than him,
(09:58):
he can't tell you nothing, He can't act like he
ment of you. He do know the male side of
things that he can offer to you and that you
may not have from female perspective.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Okay, but actually mail more money him.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Then I got a promotion and a company car, and
he overheard me telling my mom what I'd be making annually.
He insinuated that I was too close to my boss
and that's why I got a promotion. Oh now he
gonna make you think you slip your way to the tongue.
I understand your ankle. Like I said, systems, you got
your education, you did the credentials, you put your time in.
(10:35):
You deserve to be who you're gonna be. We arguing
for days, and then he moved out. He couldn't take
it no more because I think he got ashamed of
where you were getting to.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
And he wasn't.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Because now he mentoring you getting promotions, company cars, making
most salary.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
All this him.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Now, since we broke up, you had a few dates,
and I ain't found a man that matches me intellectually
or financially. One guy told me that my success was
very intimidating. I told you, real men, not intimidate that
this little boy you'd have met with all these little
hang ups in his own little life.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
That's what he gonna tell you. I wish men could
see my sweet and nurturing inside.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
But as soon as I tell him what I do
for a living, they decide that I don't have time
for me this. I've thought about telling guys that have
an entry level God, just to see if they would
ask me how to Can all right?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Go ahead? Try to do now?
Speaker 3 (11:32):
So many sides of me I would hate to have
to diminish all that I am to satisfy a man.
So let me ask you a question when you say
you don't want to diminish all that I am just
to satisfy man.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
So what are you leading with all this in the conversation?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Have you made this a level of importance to you
because you don't want you You can't find a man
that intellectually matches you or financially that seems to be
a package deal with you.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
So now.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Are you looking for a good man or are you
looking for a certain type of man? And it's okay,
you got every right to want what you want, but
in here can be part of the problem because if
you're not just looking for a good man, if you're
looking for a good man with a certain type of
(12:33):
job making a certain amount of money, then get in line,
because everybody looking for him. So I'm not gonna be
able to help you because you've created all of the
stereotypes that keep you right where you need to be.
You're intimidating to men you make more money than him.
(12:53):
How he mint her in me? Okay, I don't know
what to tell you. My ex maritor, art teacher, go figure, Yeah, yeah,
he got he married art teacher, Go figure, what's you?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
You? You you throwing me a little bit? What's the
matter with the art teacher?
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Well, oh, she ain't a professional, she ain't a team leader,
or she don't make the money you make. Oh all right,
so now you ain't happy what men make all other women.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
From Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
And so women expected to better hour lives and that
needy four husband.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I like our last bat Oh stop that.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free Heart
Radio app. We never sounded so good. You can download
it Today you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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