May 1, 2017 • 17 mins
I dated a woman for 3 years and this year, for her birthday, I decided to surprise her with a special gift she’s been asking me for.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:14):
Mother's Day is almost here, and for a lot of us,
it's going to be tough because we won't be there
to celebrate with Mom in person. Well, with one eight
hundred flowers dot com, you can still show her how
much you care, because right now, one eight hundred flowers
is giving listeners an exclusive thirty for thirty offer thirty
assorted tulips for thirty dollars. Simply pick your delivery date
(00:35):
and let one eight hundred flowers handle the rest. With
a beautiful mix of orange, yellow and pink blue, these
assorted tulips are guaranteed to show Mom that she's loved.
Thirty assorted tulips for only thirty dollars. It's an amazing offer,
but it expires Tuesday. Every bouquet is backed by one
eight hundred flowers Smile Guarantee. Don't miss the opportunity to
(00:57):
show Mom just how much you care. With one hundred
flowers dot com. To order thirties stunning assorted two looks
for only thirty dollars, go to one eight hundred flowers
dot com, click the radio icon and entercoach Strawberries. That's
one eight hundred flowers dot com. Coach strawberry hurry upper
ends today. All right, let's get it? Can I can
(01:18):
I say it's Tommy. Working face to face with Shirley
out here in l A is such a pleasure. She
does so many nice things. Junior. Yeah, I need you
to be trained by Shirley, because when I'm working with you, man,
the damn thing happened like this happening, and I'm sick
of your thank you you know, and Ryan were sicken
(01:47):
his hair. I'm sick of hair. Only you with you,
sick of sale and you don't you don't do what
Shirley do? I see that near we riding to work,
you speaking the people in Yeah, hey, everybody, Jay I
(02:15):
started stopping at a gas station. I almost at a
gas station. I know him? All right. Here we go
with the letters subject One night changed everything. I don't
(02:37):
know if I need to do a disclaimer in front
of this letter or not, but just please be aware. Yeah,
if you have small children at the car with you, uh,
you might not want them to hear this. Uh. Dear Stephen, Shirley.
I dated a woman for three years and this year,
for her birthday, I decided to surprise her with a
(02:57):
special gift she's been asking me far. I got her
a card, and then I was planning to try to
do something that I've never done. I decided to finally
come face to face with the cookie. You have to
read between the lines there, Okay. I decided to finally
(03:17):
come face to face with the cookie, if you know
what I mean. The day before her birthday, we hung
out and we had a few shots of tequila. I
spent the night with her, and she was more intoxicated
than I was. I had her to undress, turn the
lights off, and get in the bed. I told her,
(03:38):
here comes the surprise, Stephen Shirley, here's the problem. And
the heat of the moment, all right, get ready for
this next line. In the heat of the moment, she
passed gas I'm out, I'm out, I'm in my face.
(04:00):
It was like gunshots firing at me. Since the lights
were off and I was still dressed. I rushed out
of the room and tried my best not to throw
up on her. Now I realized I refused to talk
to her. I won't answer her calls or text messages,
(04:21):
and I am way too embarrassed to tell my boys
about it. I may never try this again. What should
I do? Please help? All right, so let me get
this straight. It was her birthday and all you got
her was a card. I'm mad at you for that,
first of all. Okay, at him for that all he
(04:45):
got her. But I think you know as far as
what you should do. I think you pretty much have
done it. All you left. You have not been heard
from since. Uh. You don't answer her phone calls, her
text messages. This was a traumatic experience for both of you.
(05:07):
For you, of course, my god, and for her. I
can't imagine how embarrassed she is right now and will
always be. I don't think you guys will ever get
over this. I think you did the right thing by
leaving and just letting it go. I know I learned
from Steve that men don't do closure, just keeping moving
because this was traumatic. And yes, I am mad because
(05:30):
all he got her was a card for her birthday. Steve,
how you feeling, Doug? Yeah, huh, you're talking to the writer.
I mean, you know, man, really, bro I don't even
know what to say to you. That got to be
one of the most devastating things that can happen in
(05:52):
a man's life. Damn that call. Give her the surprise
of whole life. Yeah, I'm gonna come face to face
finally with the cookie. Yeah, I'm gonna come up in
help girl and put it on your um. At the
(06:14):
foot of the bed. I'm army crawling. I'm army crawling
at the foot of the bed. Y'all come, y'all, come down,
get out, you know, like you know, like j I
know you want to go. I know you think I'm coming. Yeah,
I go years I am. I'm gonna good good, We're
(06:35):
gonna get you, get you, get you good. He army crawling.
Then you said in your letter right when you got
face to face with the cookie, she passed. This was
his quote, she passed gas in my face. It was
(06:57):
like gunshot was fine at me. That's not at it
for it. No, it's west and gun shots. It's a
damn bazooker. It's somebody then loaded a bowl full of
scoop in a damn gun and shot it in your face.
(07:21):
And it was probably double dangerous because your mouth was over.
So that's how I know it. I know it wasn't
right because you can't get what's you off your mouth
and I go in your nose and your mouth. It's woman.
You crawling now, not getting piture now your army crawl. Yeah,
(07:46):
come yeah, this your day, Mr Day, I'm been happy birthday. Ah,
this is gonna be a gool happy dead to you,
I thought. And then you on mer mouth. That's what
(08:07):
really if you don't have your mouth O. But it
wouldn't have been bad, but your ass, we're saying. So
you're crawling in there and you're saying happy man. Oh,
you're gonna love it. You're gonna let it go and
you're gonna get it. I'm gonna get up. And then Kyle,
oh man, and this is how I gonna And it's
(08:28):
definitely and it's sounded like gunshots. Oh man, you look up.
You don't know what it is because you're taking is
this mace? Run it? Listen, just a gas chamber hand
under the covers. Got my drowning as a submarine exploring.
(08:53):
It feels like somebody can hit you in the face
for a bull up set for a hot hockey. I
got more when we come back. This crawling, Yeah, come here,
I had the day Steve Hardy Morning Show, all right
(09:17):
to recap subject of this letter. One night changed everything
they did this woman for three years this year for
her birthday, he decided to surprise her with a special
gift that she's been asking for. This is a request
that this dude didn't want to do it because we
(09:39):
ain't really that close. But after three years we close.
So he got on a card and was planning to
trying to do something I've never done. I decided to
find it, come face to face with your cookie. Everybody
(10:01):
knows where we're at. Now, I'm gonna go down there
and look at it. I'm gonna go down there. I'm
gonna introduce myself. I'm going down there to say hello. Careful, careful,
I'm going down now to file it, meet and kiss. O.
You getting close to the edge. I'm going to kiss
(10:24):
the cookie tonight. So the day before her birthday, they
hung out and had a few shots at the Keiler
spent the night. Whether she was more intoxicated than I was.
I had her undressed, turn the lights off, and get
in the bed. I told her, here come to surprise. Nah,
(10:45):
here we go. The visual is he is army crawling
to the promised land, elbow elbo. But now everybody's a
low crawl because it's field when anticipation, because this is
a request that's been happening for three years. So in
(11:07):
all the time and the request, I'm gonna take my time.
Go here, boy, take your time three years into major. Yeah,
come move your leg, Oh girl, yeah, come girl. This
is it right here, Everything going good. He decides on
(11:29):
his way to the cookie to sing happy Birthday. Now
he eared me crawling. Now it's happy birthday, Happy birthday. Now.
You know when you sing happy birthday, you have your
first breath is deep with sothday. You just don't break
(11:50):
off in the happy birthday without inhaling a nice forever
because it's happy birthday to you. That's all one line,
one bro, Happy breathday. And on the inhale or the second,
happy happy Birthday to you. On the inhale of the
(12:15):
second one, it happened. She shot it. She fight it,
man dad, his soul all up his nostrils, and he
took it on the inhale in the middle of saying
it happy and salad the now imagine now he got
(12:40):
to reverse army carall he he did the first army crawl,
retreat the reverse as fast as the forum because nobody
practices the reverse army crawl. So now it covers and
got him jailed up, his foot locked. He didn't reversed
on it, crowl He dined. Now now what he should
(13:03):
have did, what was took a pillow and brushed it
on the head and walk her ass because now you
know what we've been to do. Wake me up, because
we've finn the kiss because we're trying to get some
of this back to let you see water hell out
(13:25):
of hand to reverse this on the crow me and
you kiss you right now? How you why you hit
me in the face with this pillar because you CEC's down,
my damn and I'm thinking about killing myself with you.
(13:52):
You got to picture the reverse because that's hard. You can.
You don't know how to dude. Nobody practices. Yeah, he
never worked on through the version. Nobody reversed on the
But he got tangled up in them sheets like foot
caught up in that sheet, he got his clothes on,
(14:14):
can't get out under him, covers and ain't what he
thought it was. He never even got up and say
nothing to the cookie because he got shot in the
middle of that second inhale happy man, that was it
(14:34):
and threw that boy into sung too. Because it takes
you three years and kissing cookie. He's young. He young,
He didn't know how to go. You don't know. He
could have been the mood. This up long time ago,
but now he waited three years. She had something for
him though. Man, she put that shot on him. Man,
you don't know what to do, and it happened right. Oh,
(14:56):
I'm taking my call back. Happy to you. Power. Now
you reverse the back of the throat. Yeah, you have
to never practice. That's never taught. Don't know the proceding.
(15:21):
So he's actually in one place because his knees ain't
coordinated with the reverse. His arms going back, but his
knees don't know the first, so he just in one place.
So now he just under them coverage, just taking So
now now it has become like a gas change under him,
under the sheets, and he locked. It's like being under
(15:43):
a gas change. And Nidia took another breath because he
the reverse call confused, so he didn't took a knoth
Now his system is locking up. Man, because when you
get hit with severe funk, you really don't know. You
don't wake up. We kissing give you some of this.
(16:04):
We offend the kiss O. Man, why haven't you called
because you damn near killed me. That's why I've been
down here waiting three years here. Greatness boy, it was
(16:26):
like a pellet gup. It were like powder shots and
it probably had a little miss tune, yeah, because it
comes just like a miss miss and it's like yash
like if you could get a camera. Damn there, like
(16:50):
pepper spray. Damn like pepper spray, pepper spreak cup from
the bedroom. Pepper. You're listening to the Stay Harday Morning Show.
Mother's Day is almost here, and for a lot of us,
it's going to be tough because we won't be there
to celebrate with Mom in person. Well, with one eight
hundred flowers dot com, you can still show her how
much you care, because right now, one eight hundred flowers
is giving listeners an exclusive thirty for thirty offer thirty
assorted tulips for thirty dollars. Simply pick your delivery date
(00:35):
and let one eight hundred flowers handle the rest. With
a beautiful mix of orange, yellow and pink blue, these
assorted tulips are guaranteed to show Mom that she's loved.
Thirty assorted tulips for only thirty dollars. It's an amazing offer,
but it expires Tuesday. Every bouquet is backed by one
eight hundred flowers Smile Guarantee. Don't miss the opportunity to
(00:57):
show Mom just how much you care. With one hundred
flowers dot com. To order thirties stunning assorted two looks
for only thirty dollars, go to one eight hundred flowers
dot com, click the radio icon and entercoach Strawberries. That's
one eight hundred flowers dot com. Coach strawberry hurry upper
ends today. All right, let's get it? Can I can
(01:18):
I say it's Tommy. Working face to face with Shirley
out here in l A is such a pleasure. She
does so many nice things. Junior. Yeah, I need you
to be trained by Shirley, because when I'm working with you, man,
the damn thing happened like this happening, and I'm sick
of your thank you you know, and Ryan were sicken
(01:47):
his hair. I'm sick of hair. Only you with you,
sick of sale and you don't you don't do what
Shirley do? I see that near we riding to work,
you speaking the people in Yeah, hey, everybody, Jay I
(02:15):
started stopping at a gas station. I almost at a
gas station. I know him? All right. Here we go
with the letters subject One night changed everything. I don't
(02:37):
know if I need to do a disclaimer in front
of this letter or not, but just please be aware. Yeah,
if you have small children at the car with you, uh,
you might not want them to hear this. Uh. Dear Stephen, Shirley.
I dated a woman for three years and this year,
for her birthday, I decided to surprise her with a
(02:57):
special gift she's been asking me far. I got her
a card, and then I was planning to try to
do something that I've never done. I decided to finally
come face to face with the cookie. You have to
read between the lines there, Okay. I decided to finally
(03:17):
come face to face with the cookie, if you know
what I mean. The day before her birthday, we hung
out and we had a few shots of tequila. I
spent the night with her, and she was more intoxicated
than I was. I had her to undress, turn the
lights off, and get in the bed. I told her,
(03:38):
here comes the surprise, Stephen Shirley, here's the problem. And
the heat of the moment, all right, get ready for
this next line. In the heat of the moment, she
passed gas I'm out, I'm out, I'm in my face.
(04:00):
It was like gunshots firing at me. Since the lights
were off and I was still dressed. I rushed out
of the room and tried my best not to throw
up on her. Now I realized I refused to talk
to her. I won't answer her calls or text messages,
(04:21):
and I am way too embarrassed to tell my boys
about it. I may never try this again. What should
I do? Please help? All right, so let me get
this straight. It was her birthday and all you got
her was a card. I'm mad at you for that,
first of all. Okay, at him for that all he
(04:45):
got her. But I think you know as far as
what you should do. I think you pretty much have
done it. All you left. You have not been heard
from since. Uh. You don't answer her phone calls, her
text messages. This was a traumatic experience for both of you.
(05:07):
For you, of course, my god, and for her. I
can't imagine how embarrassed she is right now and will
always be. I don't think you guys will ever get
over this. I think you did the right thing by
leaving and just letting it go. I know I learned
from Steve that men don't do closure, just keeping moving
because this was traumatic. And yes, I am mad because
(05:30):
all he got her was a card for her birthday. Steve,
how you feeling, Doug? Yeah, huh, you're talking to the writer.
I mean, you know, man, really, bro I don't even
know what to say to you. That got to be
one of the most devastating things that can happen in
(05:52):
a man's life. Damn that call. Give her the surprise
of whole life. Yeah, I'm gonna come face to face
finally with the cookie. Yeah, I'm gonna come up in
help girl and put it on your um. At the
(06:14):
foot of the bed. I'm army crawling. I'm army crawling
at the foot of the bed. Y'all come, y'all, come down,
get out, you know, like you know, like j I
know you want to go. I know you think I'm coming. Yeah,
I go years I am. I'm gonna good good, We're
(06:35):
gonna get you, get you, get you good. He army crawling.
Then you said in your letter right when you got
face to face with the cookie, she passed. This was
his quote, she passed gas in my face. It was
(06:57):
like gunshot was fine at me. That's not at it
for it. No, it's west and gun shots. It's a
damn bazooker. It's somebody then loaded a bowl full of
scoop in a damn gun and shot it in your face.
(07:21):
And it was probably double dangerous because your mouth was over.
So that's how I know it. I know it wasn't
right because you can't get what's you off your mouth
and I go in your nose and your mouth. It's woman.
You crawling now, not getting piture now your army crawl. Yeah,
(07:46):
come yeah, this your day, Mr Day, I'm been happy birthday. Ah,
this is gonna be a gool happy dead to you,
I thought. And then you on mer mouth. That's what
(08:07):
really if you don't have your mouth O. But it
wouldn't have been bad, but your ass, we're saying. So
you're crawling in there and you're saying happy man. Oh,
you're gonna love it. You're gonna let it go and
you're gonna get it. I'm gonna get up. And then Kyle,
oh man, and this is how I gonna And it's
(08:28):
definitely and it's sounded like gunshots. Oh man, you look up.
You don't know what it is because you're taking is
this mace? Run it? Listen, just a gas chamber hand
under the covers. Got my drowning as a submarine exploring.
(08:53):
It feels like somebody can hit you in the face
for a bull up set for a hot hockey. I
got more when we come back. This crawling, Yeah, come here,
I had the day Steve Hardy Morning Show, all right
(09:17):
to recap subject of this letter. One night changed everything
they did this woman for three years this year for
her birthday, he decided to surprise her with a special
gift that she's been asking for. This is a request
that this dude didn't want to do it because we
(09:39):
ain't really that close. But after three years we close.
So he got on a card and was planning to
trying to do something I've never done. I decided to
find it, come face to face with your cookie. Everybody
(10:01):
knows where we're at. Now, I'm gonna go down there
and look at it. I'm gonna go down there. I'm
gonna introduce myself. I'm going down there to say hello. Careful, careful,
I'm going down now to file it, meet and kiss. O.
You getting close to the edge. I'm going to kiss
(10:24):
the cookie tonight. So the day before her birthday, they
hung out and had a few shots at the Keiler
spent the night. Whether she was more intoxicated than I was.
I had her undressed, turn the lights off, and get
in the bed. I told her, here come to surprise. Nah,
(10:45):
here we go. The visual is he is army crawling
to the promised land, elbow elbo. But now everybody's a
low crawl because it's field when anticipation, because this is
a request that's been happening for three years. So in
(11:07):
all the time and the request, I'm gonna take my time.
Go here, boy, take your time three years into major. Yeah,
come move your leg, Oh girl, yeah, come girl. This
is it right here, Everything going good. He decides on
(11:29):
his way to the cookie to sing happy Birthday. Now
he eared me crawling. Now it's happy birthday, Happy birthday. Now.
You know when you sing happy birthday, you have your
first breath is deep with sothday. You just don't break
(11:50):
off in the happy birthday without inhaling a nice forever
because it's happy birthday to you. That's all one line,
one bro, Happy breathday. And on the inhale or the second,
happy happy Birthday to you. On the inhale of the
(12:15):
second one, it happened. She shot it. She fight it,
man dad, his soul all up his nostrils, and he
took it on the inhale in the middle of saying
it happy and salad the now imagine now he got
(12:40):
to reverse army carall he he did the first army crawl,
retreat the reverse as fast as the forum because nobody
practices the reverse army crawl. So now it covers and
got him jailed up, his foot locked. He didn't reversed
on it, crowl He dined. Now now what he should
(13:03):
have did, what was took a pillow and brushed it
on the head and walk her ass because now you
know what we've been to do. Wake me up, because
we've finn the kiss because we're trying to get some
of this back to let you see water hell out
(13:25):
of hand to reverse this on the crow me and
you kiss you right now? How you why you hit
me in the face with this pillar because you CEC's down,
my damn and I'm thinking about killing myself with you.
(13:52):
You got to picture the reverse because that's hard. You can.
You don't know how to dude. Nobody practices. Yeah, he
never worked on through the version. Nobody reversed on the
But he got tangled up in them sheets like foot
caught up in that sheet, he got his clothes on,
(14:14):
can't get out under him, covers and ain't what he
thought it was. He never even got up and say
nothing to the cookie because he got shot in the
middle of that second inhale happy man, that was it
(14:34):
and threw that boy into sung too. Because it takes
you three years and kissing cookie. He's young. He young,
He didn't know how to go. You don't know. He
could have been the mood. This up long time ago,
but now he waited three years. She had something for
him though. Man, she put that shot on him. Man,
you don't know what to do, and it happened right. Oh,
(14:56):
I'm taking my call back. Happy to you. Power. Now
you reverse the back of the throat. Yeah, you have
to never practice. That's never taught. Don't know the proceding.
(15:21):
So he's actually in one place because his knees ain't
coordinated with the reverse. His arms going back, but his
knees don't know the first, so he just in one place.
So now he just under them coverage, just taking So
now now it has become like a gas change under him,
under the sheets, and he locked. It's like being under
(15:43):
a gas change. And Nidia took another breath because he
the reverse call confused, so he didn't took a knoth
Now his system is locking up. Man, because when you
get hit with severe funk, you really don't know. You
don't wake up. We kissing give you some of this.
(16:04):
We offend the kiss O. Man, why haven't you called
because you damn near killed me. That's why I've been
down here waiting three years here. Greatness boy, it was
(16:26):
like a pellet gup. It were like powder shots and
it probably had a little miss tune, yeah, because it
comes just like a miss miss and it's like yash
like if you could get a camera. Damn there, like
(16:50):
pepper spray. Damn like pepper spray, pepper spreak cup from
the bedroom. Pepper. You're listening to the Stay Harday Morning Show.
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