August 21, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter, heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, Thursday, August 21st, 2025. Subject: "Patiently Waiting For My Man To Settle Down"
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationship, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEBFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type
to guide it for you. Here it is Strawberry letta.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
All right, neph you, thank you. Subject to patiently waiting
for my man to settle down here, Stephen Shirley, I'm
seeking advice, but I know what you are going to
tell me. I have a man in my life that
I've been with for three years. I say that I've
been with him because he has not been with me, well,
not the whole time. I have seen him out with
(00:46):
other women a few times while we were supposed to
be dating. I also made sure he saw me, and
then I go home and wait for him to call
or come by and lie to me about what I saw.
It bothered me at first, but I'm used to it now.
At first, I messed up and told my friends and
family how his actions hurt me. Big mistake. I'm a
(01:09):
lot wiser now and I act like things are going
great in my relationship, so they don't judge me. They
can't stand my man because of me. My sister in
law works with a woman that he was seeing around
Christmas time. The lady bought him a TV for Christmas,
and he gave it to me for my bedroom. I
wanted to thank the lady for her contribution. I like
(01:29):
to take lemons and make lemonade. I have told my
friends and family that nothing they tell me will ever
make me hate my man. I don't condone his cheating,
but the way he makes it up to me makes
all of the agony worthwhile. I am sure this is
where you start judging me, but when I weigh the
pros and cons, I am winning. I have access to
(01:52):
one of his accounts and he spends all of his
money on me. My sister in law even confirmed that
he doesn't spend any money on the lady that off
us the TV. I don't want to start over with
a new man only to find out that he cheats too. Eventually,
my boyfriend will get tired of running around and I'll
be here waiting. Is it a full proof plan or
(02:13):
am I wasting my time? Full proof plan? No wasting
your time yet, But I got to ask you, why
are you writing Steve and I. You know you're not
going to listen to anything we tell you. Your folks
have already tried that. Your friends have tried that to
tell you about him. You didn't listen to them because
(02:34):
you don't want our advice. You just want us to
tell you you're right and that, yes, he will eventually settle
down with you and only you one day. That seems
to be how you've worked it out in your head anyway.
And this man is trash because he has no respect
for you or your relationship.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
This is sad.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And I know deep down you really don't want a
man who cheats, but you've convinced yourself that this is
the best you can do. In other words, it's better
to have a man that cheats than no man at all.
You cannot really believe that. I mean, so what, he
gave you a TV and has given you access to
his bank account. He still cheats on you and he's
(03:14):
been doing it for years. How is this okay in
your mind? Because of the money, you said, This is agony,
and I know this has to be agony for you.
He's never going to stop cheating on you because he
knows you're never going to leave him. He has no
incentive to stop because he knows you'll always take him back.
(03:35):
And this has been going on for three years now.
You say you're winning, You're not winning. You are losing
to a loser.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Steve Lady Surely said something really smart. Sureley said, I
don't know why you wrote us, because you're not going
to listen to anything we say, because you just told
us that you'll fail. Can't tell you nothing about him
(04:04):
that would make you leave him.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
So I don't know what you think we're gonna do,
but I'm gonna tell you something from the male perspective.
I'm gonna give you this letter from the male perspective.
Let me see how you feel after you hear this.
You say I'm seeking advice, but I know what you're
going to tell me. That means that you already know
what's best, but you've somehow ignored it. I have a
(04:28):
man in my life that i've been with for three years.
I say that i've been with him because he's not
been with me okay, cool, Then you don't have a man.
You don't have a man if you're going to allow
me to do what I want to do whenever I
want to do it, and I can get away with it,
there are no consequences.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
You're not my woman. You this peace I'm dealing with that.
I can run over.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
You're a doormat to me, and I can come in here,
wipe my feet off on you and screwed up under
the whenever I want to. I've seen him out with
other women a few times while we were supposed to
be dating. You've seen him out with women plural a
few times while y'all was dating.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You saw it for yourself. Didn't nobody come and tell you?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
So?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
You saw it for yourself.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Always made sure he saw me, and then I go
home and wait for him to call and come by.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
And lie to me about what I saw.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Well, that's brilliant, oh man, What a great way to
spend in the evening. What a great way to be
in a relationship with a person. If I'm out as
a man with another woman and we're supposed to be dating,
and you make sure I see you.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
And then you go home and wait to see.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
What I'm gonna say, I ain't got to say nothing.
Yeah you saw me what? So at first I messed
up and told my friends and family how his actions
hurt me. Big mistake. I'm a lot wiser now and
I act like things are going great in my relationship
so they can't judge me. Did you what you just said?
(06:09):
You did a total contradiction. You used to tell your
friends how he hurt you. That was a big mistake
because now they judge you. So now you act like
things are going great in your relationship, just so they
won't judge you, and you won't have to hear how
big a fool you are. They can't stand my man
(06:31):
because of me. You ought not be able to stand you,
the one. I don't know how you can't standing me
them right?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Hang on, Steve, hang on? Well, have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the
hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject patiently waiting for my man
to settle down. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening to Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Get into the Hundai get away sales event and get
away with the deal. So right, it almost feels wrong, right,
now get huge savings on our popular models, including our
venture ready SUV's like the Hondai Santa Fe, or go
all electric with America's most awarded EV lineup.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Like the Ionic five or Ionic six.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Get down to your local Hondai dealer and get away
with a great deal only during the Hondai Getaway Sale event.
Visit Hyundai USA dot com for details.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, come on, Steve. Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is patiently waiting for my man to settle down.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Here's a woman who has a plan that is so
far gone it's never going to happen. Patiently waiting on
my man to settle down. You've been with a man
for three years. You've caught him out cheating on you
several times with other women. You've seen it for yourself.
You made sure he saw you, and then your plan
was to go back home and wait home to call
or come over and lie to you about what you saw.
(07:58):
You said it bothered me at first, but I'm used
to it now. Wow, So how have you conditioned yourself
to be subpar?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
So?
Speaker 4 (08:09):
What you've done is you've gotten used to the fact
and condition yourself that I'm not number one. I'm not
worthy of being respected and treated right, and I'm okay
with that. Lady, you need to feel better about yourself
because it's obvious you don't feel that way about yourself,
and so he ain't gonna he ain't gonna treat you
that way.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Then you say, at first you messed up.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
You told your friends and friends and family how his
actions hurt you.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Big mistake.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
I'm alled wiser now and I act like things are
going greater in my relationship.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
That's not wiser. That doesn't make you wiser.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
You're more conditioned to accept bad behavior. You're more conditioned
to allow this man to treat you any kind of
way he wants you.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
You allow him to use you as a doormat things.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
So they can't stand my man because of me, No, lady,
they can't stand your mad because of how he treats you.
And you told them that, So they hate him for you,
because you too stupid to hate him yourself, because you
(09:19):
have degraded yourself down to some second, third class citizen
that's not worthy to be treated like a woman and
a lady. My sister in law works with a woman
that he was seeing around Christmas time the lady brought
him a TV Christmas and he gave it to me
for my bedroom. I wanted to thank the lady for
her contribution. Okay, so what else is wrong with you?
(09:43):
This woman gave your man a TV for Christmas? He
thought enough of you. Well, wow, now I ain't got
to buy her nothing. I'm a Greek. Gift her a
TV that my the chick gave me, So that was
your Christmas guilt. I wanted to call her and thank
(10:05):
the lady for her contribution. Wow, where are you and
all of this?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Man?
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Where is the real you? Because you just I mean,
this is not even funny to me. This is really sad.
If you were my daughter, if you were my daughter, girl,
we're not doing this right here, because I'm telling you
right now, you don't have I like to take lemons
and make lemonade. But your lemonade ain't good though. No,
(10:34):
you don't even know how to take lemonade. Your lemons
is rotten. See you taking rotten lemons and you're making
lemonade with rotten lemons, that's what you're doing. I've told
my friends and family that nothing they can tell me
would ever make.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Me hate my man. So I don't know what you
want me and surely to do. Like she said, I
don't condone his cheating, but the way he makes.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
It up to me makes all the agony worthwhile there
is no making up for agony to me.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
So y'all he's sleeping with you that good.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Well, you have this temporary moment of ecstasy and it
justifies him doing what he wanted to do. That's gonna
get an old lady. I am sure this is where
you start judging me. I'm not judging me. You's something
wrong with you. I have access, but when I weigh
the pros and cons, I'm winning.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
No, you're not.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
You're losing in every aspect. He's winning, but you're losing.
I have access to one of his accounts, and he
spends all of his money on me.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
You know the account that you have access to that
has very little in it.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
My sister in law even confirmed that he didn't spend
any money on the lady that bought us the TV.
I don't want to start with a new man. You
don't have a man. You ain't starting, no, but you
ain't got one in the beginning. He's not your man,
only to find out that he cheats, what difference do
it make the one you got cheating? Eventually my boyfriend
(12:14):
will get tired of running around, and I'll be here waiting.
Is it a food proof playing on my wasting my time?
Let me explain something to you. Eventually your boyfriend will
get tired of running around. But when he settled down,
it's not gonna be with you. No very Seldom do
the other chick win, and right now you the other chick.
(12:41):
He has no intentions of settling down anytime soon because
every first of all, everything he does with you has
no consequences. He can get busted with other women. He
can give you a TV that another lady gave him.
He ain't got to buy you nothing for Christmas. He
gets there's no consequences. You don't decided, that's nothing anybody
(13:04):
can tell you about him. And then all the agony
he sends you through, he makes it up to you
and it's all worthwhile. You have got to stop being
ignorant and start thinking more of yourself than him, because
(13:25):
he thinks plenty of himself and very little of you.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
You late to stop this. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve BARBFM
on Instagram and on Facebook. And check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app for it Never
Sounded So Good, you can download it. Today you're listening
to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationship, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEBFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type
to guide it for you. Here it is Strawberry letta.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
All right, neph you, thank you. Subject to patiently waiting
for my man to settle down here, Stephen Shirley, I'm
seeking advice, but I know what you are going to
tell me. I have a man in my life that
I've been with for three years. I say that I've
been with him because he has not been with me, well,
not the whole time. I have seen him out with
(00:46):
other women a few times while we were supposed to
be dating. I also made sure he saw me, and
then I go home and wait for him to call
or come by and lie to me about what I saw.
It bothered me at first, but I'm used to it now.
At first, I messed up and told my friends and
family how his actions hurt me. Big mistake. I'm a
(01:09):
lot wiser now and I act like things are going
great in my relationship, so they don't judge me. They
can't stand my man because of me. My sister in
law works with a woman that he was seeing around
Christmas time. The lady bought him a TV for Christmas,
and he gave it to me for my bedroom. I
wanted to thank the lady for her contribution. I like
(01:29):
to take lemons and make lemonade. I have told my
friends and family that nothing they tell me will ever
make me hate my man. I don't condone his cheating,
but the way he makes it up to me makes
all of the agony worthwhile. I am sure this is
where you start judging me, but when I weigh the
pros and cons, I am winning. I have access to
(01:52):
one of his accounts and he spends all of his
money on me. My sister in law even confirmed that
he doesn't spend any money on the lady that off
us the TV. I don't want to start over with
a new man only to find out that he cheats too. Eventually,
my boyfriend will get tired of running around and I'll
be here waiting. Is it a full proof plan or
(02:13):
am I wasting my time? Full proof plan? No wasting
your time yet, But I got to ask you, why
are you writing Steve and I. You know you're not
going to listen to anything we tell you. Your folks
have already tried that. Your friends have tried that to
tell you about him. You didn't listen to them because
(02:34):
you don't want our advice. You just want us to
tell you you're right and that, yes, he will eventually settle
down with you and only you one day. That seems
to be how you've worked it out in your head anyway.
And this man is trash because he has no respect
for you or your relationship.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
This is sad.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And I know deep down you really don't want a
man who cheats, but you've convinced yourself that this is
the best you can do. In other words, it's better
to have a man that cheats than no man at all.
You cannot really believe that. I mean, so what, he
gave you a TV and has given you access to
his bank account. He still cheats on you and he's
(03:14):
been doing it for years. How is this okay in
your mind? Because of the money, you said, This is agony,
and I know this has to be agony for you.
He's never going to stop cheating on you because he
knows you're never going to leave him. He has no
incentive to stop because he knows you'll always take him back.
(03:35):
And this has been going on for three years now.
You say you're winning, You're not winning. You are losing
to a loser.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Steve Lady Surely said something really smart. Sureley said, I
don't know why you wrote us, because you're not going
to listen to anything we say, because you just told
us that you'll fail. Can't tell you nothing about him
(04:04):
that would make you leave him.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
So I don't know what you think we're gonna do,
but I'm gonna tell you something from the male perspective.
I'm gonna give you this letter from the male perspective.
Let me see how you feel after you hear this.
You say I'm seeking advice, but I know what you're
going to tell me. That means that you already know
what's best, but you've somehow ignored it. I have a
(04:28):
man in my life that i've been with for three years.
I say that i've been with him because he's not
been with me okay, cool, Then you don't have a man.
You don't have a man if you're going to allow
me to do what I want to do whenever I
want to do it, and I can get away with it,
there are no consequences.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
You're not my woman. You this peace I'm dealing with that.
I can run over.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
You're a doormat to me, and I can come in here,
wipe my feet off on you and screwed up under
the whenever I want to. I've seen him out with
other women a few times while we were supposed to
be dating. You've seen him out with women plural a
few times while y'all was dating.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You saw it for yourself. Didn't nobody come and tell you?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
So?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
You saw it for yourself.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Always made sure he saw me, and then I go
home and wait for him to call and come by.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
And lie to me about what I saw.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Well, that's brilliant, oh man, What a great way to
spend in the evening. What a great way to be
in a relationship with a person. If I'm out as
a man with another woman and we're supposed to be dating,
and you make sure I see you.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
And then you go home and wait to see.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
What I'm gonna say, I ain't got to say nothing.
Yeah you saw me what? So at first I messed
up and told my friends and family how his actions
hurt me. Big mistake. I'm a lot wiser now and
I act like things are going great in my relationship
so they can't judge me. Did you what you just said?
(06:09):
You did a total contradiction. You used to tell your
friends how he hurt you. That was a big mistake
because now they judge you. So now you act like
things are going great in your relationship, just so they
won't judge you, and you won't have to hear how
big a fool you are. They can't stand my man
(06:31):
because of me. You ought not be able to stand you,
the one. I don't know how you can't standing me
them right?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Hang on, Steve, hang on? Well, have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the
hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject patiently waiting for my man
to settle down. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening to Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Get into the Hundai get away sales event and get
away with the deal. So right, it almost feels wrong, right,
now get huge savings on our popular models, including our
venture ready SUV's like the Hondai Santa Fe, or go
all electric with America's most awarded EV lineup.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Like the Ionic five or Ionic six.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Get down to your local Hondai dealer and get away
with a great deal only during the Hondai Getaway Sale event.
Visit Hyundai USA dot com for details.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, come on, Steve. Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is patiently waiting for my man to settle down.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Here's a woman who has a plan that is so
far gone it's never going to happen. Patiently waiting on
my man to settle down. You've been with a man
for three years. You've caught him out cheating on you
several times with other women. You've seen it for yourself.
You made sure he saw you, and then your plan
was to go back home and wait home to call
or come over and lie to you about what you saw.
(07:58):
You said it bothered me at first, but I'm used
to it now. Wow, So how have you conditioned yourself
to be subpar?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
So?
Speaker 4 (08:09):
What you've done is you've gotten used to the fact
and condition yourself that I'm not number one. I'm not
worthy of being respected and treated right, and I'm okay
with that. Lady, you need to feel better about yourself
because it's obvious you don't feel that way about yourself,
and so he ain't gonna he ain't gonna treat you
that way.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Then you say, at first you messed up.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
You told your friends and friends and family how his
actions hurt you.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Big mistake.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
I'm alled wiser now and I act like things are
going greater in my relationship.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
That's not wiser. That doesn't make you wiser.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
You're more conditioned to accept bad behavior. You're more conditioned
to allow this man to treat you any kind of
way he wants you.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
You allow him to use you as a doormat things.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
So they can't stand my man because of me, No, lady,
they can't stand your mad because of how he treats you.
And you told them that, So they hate him for you,
because you too stupid to hate him yourself, because you
(09:19):
have degraded yourself down to some second, third class citizen
that's not worthy to be treated like a woman and
a lady. My sister in law works with a woman
that he was seeing around Christmas time the lady brought
him a TV Christmas and he gave it to me
for my bedroom. I wanted to thank the lady for
her contribution. Okay, so what else is wrong with you?
(09:43):
This woman gave your man a TV for Christmas? He
thought enough of you. Well, wow, now I ain't got
to buy her nothing. I'm a Greek. Gift her a
TV that my the chick gave me, So that was
your Christmas guilt. I wanted to call her and thank
(10:05):
the lady for her contribution. Wow, where are you and
all of this?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Man?
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Where is the real you? Because you just I mean,
this is not even funny to me. This is really sad.
If you were my daughter, if you were my daughter, girl,
we're not doing this right here, because I'm telling you
right now, you don't have I like to take lemons
and make lemonade. But your lemonade ain't good though. No,
(10:34):
you don't even know how to take lemonade. Your lemons
is rotten. See you taking rotten lemons and you're making
lemonade with rotten lemons, that's what you're doing. I've told
my friends and family that nothing they can tell me
would ever make.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Me hate my man. So I don't know what you
want me and surely to do. Like she said, I
don't condone his cheating, but the way he makes.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
It up to me makes all the agony worthwhile there
is no making up for agony to me.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
So y'all he's sleeping with you that good.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Well, you have this temporary moment of ecstasy and it
justifies him doing what he wanted to do. That's gonna
get an old lady. I am sure this is where
you start judging me. I'm not judging me. You's something
wrong with you. I have access, but when I weigh
the pros and cons, I'm winning.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
No, you're not.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
You're losing in every aspect. He's winning, but you're losing.
I have access to one of his accounts, and he
spends all of his money on me.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
You know the account that you have access to that
has very little in it.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
My sister in law even confirmed that he didn't spend
any money on the lady that bought us the TV.
I don't want to start with a new man. You
don't have a man. You ain't starting, no, but you
ain't got one in the beginning. He's not your man,
only to find out that he cheats, what difference do
it make the one you got cheating? Eventually my boyfriend
(12:14):
will get tired of running around, and I'll be here waiting.
Is it a food proof playing on my wasting my time?
Let me explain something to you. Eventually your boyfriend will
get tired of running around. But when he settled down,
it's not gonna be with you. No very Seldom do
the other chick win, and right now you the other chick.
(12:41):
He has no intentions of settling down anytime soon because
every first of all, everything he does with you has
no consequences. He can get busted with other women. He
can give you a TV that another lady gave him.
He ain't got to buy you nothing for Christmas. He
gets there's no consequences. You don't decided, that's nothing anybody
(13:04):
can tell you about him. And then all the agony
he sends you through, he makes it up to you
and it's all worthwhile. You have got to stop being
ignorant and start thinking more of yourself than him, because
(13:25):
he thinks plenty of himself and very little of you.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
You late to stop this. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve BARBFM
on Instagram and on Facebook. And check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app for it Never
Sounded So Good, you can download it. Today you're listening
to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.