January 30, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm thirty eight years old and I have a two year old and a two month old. My husband and I have been married two years and we've been busy growing our family, but not on purpose. He has an eighteen year old son and he told me that having more children wasn't high on his list of priorities when I met him, but as soon as we held our first daughter together, he started saying he wanted another son. Then we had our second daughter two months ago and he still mentions wanting another. I have to try to avoid him in the house because he can't keep his hands to himself...................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, and parenting more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARBFM and click
submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live
on the air, just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know it
could be yours. You never know.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is a Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you nephew. Subject please get off of me. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I'm thirty eight years old and I have
a two year old and a two month old. My
husband and I have been married two years and we've
been busy growing our family, but not on purpose. He
has an eighteen year old son and he told me
that having more children wasn't high on his list of
(00:46):
priorities when I met him, But as soon as we
held our first daughter together, he started saying he wanted
another son. Then we had our second daughter two months
ago and he still mentions wanting another I have to
try to avoid him in the house because he can't
keep his hands to himself. My hair could be sticking
(01:06):
up on my head and I hadn't showered yet. But
he doesn't care. He says, just fine and whatever condition
it's in. I love that I have a break from
sex since the baby was born, but he finds other
ways to annoy me, like massaging my boobies and giving
me body rubs that he gets more pleasure from than
I do.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I have to.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Literally push him off me, and he thinks it's a game.
We were not supposed to have babies back to back,
but it happened and they're a blessing. But why does
he want another child? He's forty and we planned for
a child free marriage. If we aren't careful, we're going
to end up with more babies. I want to keep
him off of me in the bed, on the sofa,
(01:48):
in the shower, and everywhere else. I'd hate to push
him away. We'll eventually get tired of sex. Would it
be wrong to take some kind of contraception without telling him? Yes,
it would be wrong, But so is pressuring you to
have another child, especially since you guys agreed on the
exact opposite, not having kids at all. I know people change,
(02:11):
and people this has changed with him, but you haven't changed,
and This is the problem, the major problem in your marriage,
and your marriage won't last if you're constantly avoiding sex
with him and thinking about deceiving him with using a
contraceptive and not telling him that's nothing but a disaster
waiting to happen. You guys have to get on the
(02:32):
same page, from the same book. You got to talk
about this. He's already told you he wants a son,
but you're only running and pushing him away. Now you
say you don't want to push him away, but that's
exactly what you're doing. And you ask, will he eventually
get tired of sex? Well, come on, he's a man
and he's not going to get tired of sex. But
he might get tired of sex with you if you
(02:55):
keep pushing him away. Well, I mean you leave him
with no other choice. I mean you keep heading down
this path. So you gotta stop that. You gotta let
him know what's going on with you, how you really feel.
You have to face this issue. You guys have to
deal with this. Children no children, That is major.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Steve, Please get off of me. We got a problem here.
The whole letter is nothing but a problem. I don't
really have a solution for this, I really don't. You're
thirty eight years old, you got a two year old
and two month old. You and your husband married two years,
and we've been busy growing our family, but not on purpose.
(03:35):
Oh lord, I can relate to that. Oh, none of
my ship.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Was playing. Somebody just walked in one day and said
I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant, and I had to fixed my
face every damn I had to pull it out.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Oh that's not very convincing, Steve, I'm pregnant.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
That's terrible.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I tried every respond.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
You didn't have any words. That's terrible, just short words.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That wasn't say what no one time I said?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Is just.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
So I can relate to that.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Now, now, your husband got an eighteen year old son,
and he told me to have her more children. Wasn't
really howling bucket list. But then as soon as y'all
had the daughter and y'all held him, he said he
wanted another child. And then y'all tried again, and well
you didn't really try, Yetcident they had this one, she
was born.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
He was another girl now.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
And then uh, second daughter two months ago was born,
and he's still mentioned that he wants another boy, I
gotta try to avoid him in the house because he
can't keep his hands to himself. My hair could be
sticking up on my head. I ain't showered ay, but
he don't care. He says, it's fine whatever condition is in.
I could take that to the next level, but I
won't keep the driving the kids out to school, so
(05:21):
I'm gonna just leave it with no. I will read
that line again, though, because I want you to think
about that. I hadn't showered yet. He doesn't care. He says,
it's just fine in whatever condition is in. That's a
little scary to me that you have gotten yourself in
a condition, and I'm just gonna now we need to
(05:45):
do something to get it out of that condition. I
would wait until it wasn't in that condition no more.
That's just me, but he ain't that way.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I loved it.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I love that you gotta break from sex because the
baby is born. But he finds other ways to annoy me,
like giving me body rubs. That he gets more pleasure
from him than I do. And I know why that is,
because when he rubbing your body, it's really not for you.
It's him.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
You can hear him back there right.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Yeah, yeah, oh girl, come on now yeah see now
he back there.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Your body massage is not for you.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
And we'll get into the rest of this letter that
I don't care about right after that.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Okay, I care about this. She needs help part Steve.
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. The subject is please
get off of me. Right after this, you're listening morning show.
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
(06:56):
The subject please get off of me for me.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Uh, you know this letter. Really, it's nothing I can say.
This woman is married, they got two kids. Uh, they
talked about not having kids, but now they have them.
And now she's enjoying the break of not having sex
because he can't keep his hands off of us. He
don't care what condition is in. That's scary. But now
(07:24):
she's had this second baby that's two months old. She's
taken a break from sex, but he does other things
to annoy her, like body rubs and massages that he
gets more pleasure out of than she does. You have
to literally push him off me, and he thinks it's
a game. We're not supposed to have babies back to
back to back. But it's happened and they're blessing. But
(07:45):
why does he want another child? Well, quite naturally because
he don't have to carry them, so he don't know
what come with that. It's easy, you know. You know
some men think we just less order a baby. Well,
that's a lot on the woman. I've never seen a
pregnancy that wasn't that didn't require a lot from a woman.
I'm pretty sure women handle it differently, but I'm just
(08:08):
saying I've never seen a pregnancy.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
That didn't require a lot from a woman.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
It's a major change in your body, and it's a
major change in lifestyle. It hormones everything, So it's a lot.
You know, he's forty and we plan a child free manage,
and we're not careful, we're gonna end up with more babies.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Now.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
I want to keep him off of me, in the bed,
on the sofa, in the shower, everywhere.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I hate to push him away. Well, he eventually get tired.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Of sex, not in this life, Not in this life.
I can answer that for you. And he eventually get
tired of sick, He'll get tired of sex tonight, Well,
he'll be back tomorrow. Fuh, we get tired of sex
this evening, but we ain't really tied of sex. Then
(08:59):
we just tie. Anybody tied a sex, we just tied.
Would it be wrong to take some kind of contraception
without telling him?
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I don't think it would be. You don't want any
more kids, It's up to you.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
See it should be a woman's decision because nobody has
to carry the baby.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
But you.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Now you want to avoid him because you don't want
another baby. Maybe y'all need to practice some type of
contraceptive measure. Would it be wrong to take a contraceptual
without telling him? Not really, because if you don't want
to have a baby, I mean hello, if the maker
the manufacturer don't want to make pin toes no more,
(09:41):
guess what. Ford quit making pin holes because they didn't
want to make them no more. Ford stopped making escorts
because the maker and your manufacturer decided that you and.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
All them people like here, man, I love pin toes. Man,
I was gonna I have bought another escort. Yeah, you
don't make them. No, you see where I'm going.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
So if the woman don't want to make and manufacture
another child, I think that's in the hands of the
maker and the manufacturer.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
That's what I think.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
So you know, I say, yeah, you should take something
because he ain't gonna keep his hands under there. You
don't want to push him away have at it? Ain't
nothing fitna happen though. But you know, other than that,
For those of you out there's talking about Steve, you
loan for that or whatever? No, no, anybody wrote you Strawberry,
(10:35):
let us Shirley Strawberry, Steve Hawk. That's what the to
And if you don't like my advice or the ain't gole.
I'm taking to understand this. This is my opinion. Can
you free to have your opinion. I don't think a
woman should take cat yourself and not tell her husband.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Okay, what tennant?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say, Steve. What she
doesn't want her husband to know she's taking him, So
she tells her husband. He asks her, you know, are
you taking contraceptions? Are you in some sort of birth controls?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Yeah? Yeah, yes, you want her to tell the taking Yeah,
take you one while he talking to you.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Push one off the back of that pet and pop
it in your mouth. Don't even swallow, chew it.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
But she says she asked, should she take it and
not tell him? I say, yeah, uh huh, you don't
think she should. If he asked her, she should like
that's what.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
No, just going to tell him or you can tell it.
I don't want any more children. I don't want to
go through that anymore. Yeah, that's what I'm tired and
just boom and that's it. And I'm gonna take some
con Guess what he's gonna do. Guess what he's gonna
He gonna keep on the handset. He's not gonna say, well,
if you're gonna take concept, we have sex no more?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Who fit to say that?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Not in this life?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Pretty much couldn't tell me nothing, no reason would make
me want to not want it.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Really, I can't think of nothing. They need to talk.
I've heard everything.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, they really need to have a different time.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
I mean, you know it's it's it's not the right time.
Well but it's eight now, but when Yeah, I've tried
to put the time on it. It's not the right time.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, all right, all right. Steve Poster comments on today's
Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
No, I mean it's not the right time, Steve, it's
the wrong time. This whole week, the whole week, Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Today Tuesdays.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
You know. Comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app Free Never Sounded
So Good. You can download it today. Coming up at
forty six minutes after the hour, you know what it is,
Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to
(13:12):
Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, and parenting more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARBFM and click
submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live
on the air, just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know it
could be yours. You never know.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is a Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you nephew. Subject please get off of me. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I'm thirty eight years old and I have
a two year old and a two month old. My
husband and I have been married two years and we've
been busy growing our family, but not on purpose. He
has an eighteen year old son and he told me
that having more children wasn't high on his list of
(00:46):
priorities when I met him, But as soon as we
held our first daughter together, he started saying he wanted
another son. Then we had our second daughter two months
ago and he still mentions wanting another I have to
try to avoid him in the house because he can't
keep his hands to himself. My hair could be sticking
(01:06):
up on my head and I hadn't showered yet. But
he doesn't care. He says, just fine and whatever condition
it's in. I love that I have a break from
sex since the baby was born, but he finds other
ways to annoy me, like massaging my boobies and giving
me body rubs that he gets more pleasure from than
I do.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I have to.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Literally push him off me, and he thinks it's a game.
We were not supposed to have babies back to back,
but it happened and they're a blessing. But why does
he want another child? He's forty and we planned for
a child free marriage. If we aren't careful, we're going
to end up with more babies. I want to keep
him off of me in the bed, on the sofa,
(01:48):
in the shower, and everywhere else. I'd hate to push
him away. We'll eventually get tired of sex. Would it
be wrong to take some kind of contraception without telling him? Yes,
it would be wrong, But so is pressuring you to
have another child, especially since you guys agreed on the
exact opposite, not having kids at all. I know people change,
(02:11):
and people this has changed with him, but you haven't changed,
and This is the problem, the major problem in your marriage,
and your marriage won't last if you're constantly avoiding sex
with him and thinking about deceiving him with using a
contraceptive and not telling him that's nothing but a disaster
waiting to happen. You guys have to get on the
(02:32):
same page, from the same book. You got to talk
about this. He's already told you he wants a son,
but you're only running and pushing him away. Now you
say you don't want to push him away, but that's
exactly what you're doing. And you ask, will he eventually
get tired of sex? Well, come on, he's a man
and he's not going to get tired of sex. But
he might get tired of sex with you if you
(02:55):
keep pushing him away. Well, I mean you leave him
with no other choice. I mean you keep heading down
this path. So you gotta stop that. You gotta let
him know what's going on with you, how you really feel.
You have to face this issue. You guys have to
deal with this. Children no children, That is major.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Steve, Please get off of me. We got a problem here.
The whole letter is nothing but a problem. I don't
really have a solution for this, I really don't. You're
thirty eight years old, you got a two year old
and two month old. You and your husband married two years,
and we've been busy growing our family, but not on purpose.
(03:35):
Oh lord, I can relate to that. Oh, none of
my ship.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Was playing. Somebody just walked in one day and said
I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant, and I had to fixed my
face every damn I had to pull it out.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Oh that's not very convincing, Steve, I'm pregnant.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
That's terrible.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I tried every respond.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
You didn't have any words. That's terrible, just short words.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That wasn't say what no one time I said?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Is just.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
So I can relate to that.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Now, now, your husband got an eighteen year old son,
and he told me to have her more children. Wasn't
really howling bucket list. But then as soon as y'all
had the daughter and y'all held him, he said he
wanted another child. And then y'all tried again, and well
you didn't really try, Yetcident they had this one, she
was born.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
He was another girl now.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
And then uh, second daughter two months ago was born,
and he's still mentioned that he wants another boy, I
gotta try to avoid him in the house because he
can't keep his hands to himself. My hair could be
sticking up on my head. I ain't showered ay, but
he don't care. He says, it's fine whatever condition is in.
I could take that to the next level, but I
won't keep the driving the kids out to school, so
(05:21):
I'm gonna just leave it with no. I will read
that line again, though, because I want you to think
about that. I hadn't showered yet. He doesn't care. He says,
it's just fine in whatever condition is in. That's a
little scary to me that you have gotten yourself in
a condition, and I'm just gonna now we need to
(05:45):
do something to get it out of that condition. I
would wait until it wasn't in that condition no more.
That's just me, but he ain't that way.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I loved it.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I love that you gotta break from sex because the
baby is born. But he finds other ways to annoy me,
like giving me body rubs. That he gets more pleasure
from him than I do. And I know why that is,
because when he rubbing your body, it's really not for you.
It's him.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
You can hear him back there right.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Yeah, yeah, oh girl, come on now yeah see now
he back there.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Your body massage is not for you.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
And we'll get into the rest of this letter that
I don't care about right after that.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Okay, I care about this. She needs help part Steve.
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. The subject is please
get off of me. Right after this, you're listening morning show.
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
(06:56):
The subject please get off of me for me.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Uh, you know this letter. Really, it's nothing I can say.
This woman is married, they got two kids. Uh, they
talked about not having kids, but now they have them.
And now she's enjoying the break of not having sex
because he can't keep his hands off of us. He
don't care what condition is in. That's scary. But now
(07:24):
she's had this second baby that's two months old. She's
taken a break from sex, but he does other things
to annoy her, like body rubs and massages that he
gets more pleasure out of than she does. You have
to literally push him off me, and he thinks it's
a game. We're not supposed to have babies back to
back to back. But it's happened and they're blessing. But
(07:45):
why does he want another child? Well, quite naturally because
he don't have to carry them, so he don't know
what come with that. It's easy, you know. You know
some men think we just less order a baby. Well,
that's a lot on the woman. I've never seen a
pregnancy that wasn't that didn't require a lot from a woman.
I'm pretty sure women handle it differently, but I'm just
(08:08):
saying I've never seen a pregnancy.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
That didn't require a lot from a woman.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
It's a major change in your body, and it's a
major change in lifestyle. It hormones everything, So it's a lot.
You know, he's forty and we plan a child free manage,
and we're not careful, we're gonna end up with more babies.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Now.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
I want to keep him off of me, in the bed,
on the sofa, in the shower, everywhere.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I hate to push him away. Well, he eventually get tired.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Of sex, not in this life, Not in this life.
I can answer that for you. And he eventually get
tired of sick, He'll get tired of sex tonight, Well,
he'll be back tomorrow. Fuh, we get tired of sex
this evening, but we ain't really tied of sex. Then
(08:59):
we just tie. Anybody tied a sex, we just tied.
Would it be wrong to take some kind of contraception
without telling him?
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I don't think it would be. You don't want any
more kids, It's up to you.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
See it should be a woman's decision because nobody has
to carry the baby.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
But you.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Now you want to avoid him because you don't want
another baby. Maybe y'all need to practice some type of
contraceptive measure. Would it be wrong to take a contraceptual
without telling him? Not really, because if you don't want
to have a baby, I mean hello, if the maker
the manufacturer don't want to make pin toes no more,
(09:41):
guess what. Ford quit making pin holes because they didn't
want to make them no more. Ford stopped making escorts
because the maker and your manufacturer decided that you and.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
All them people like here, man, I love pin toes. Man,
I was gonna I have bought another escort. Yeah, you
don't make them. No, you see where I'm going.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
So if the woman don't want to make and manufacture
another child, I think that's in the hands of the
maker and the manufacturer.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
That's what I think.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
So you know, I say, yeah, you should take something
because he ain't gonna keep his hands under there. You
don't want to push him away have at it? Ain't
nothing fitna happen though. But you know, other than that,
For those of you out there's talking about Steve, you
loan for that or whatever? No, no, anybody wrote you Strawberry,
(10:35):
let us Shirley Strawberry, Steve Hawk. That's what the to
And if you don't like my advice or the ain't gole.
I'm taking to understand this. This is my opinion. Can
you free to have your opinion. I don't think a
woman should take cat yourself and not tell her husband.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Okay, what tennant?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say, Steve. What she
doesn't want her husband to know she's taking him, So
she tells her husband. He asks her, you know, are
you taking contraceptions? Are you in some sort of birth controls?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Yeah? Yeah, yes, you want her to tell the taking Yeah,
take you one while he talking to you.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Push one off the back of that pet and pop
it in your mouth. Don't even swallow, chew it.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
But she says she asked, should she take it and
not tell him? I say, yeah, uh huh, you don't
think she should. If he asked her, she should like
that's what.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
No, just going to tell him or you can tell it.
I don't want any more children. I don't want to
go through that anymore. Yeah, that's what I'm tired and
just boom and that's it. And I'm gonna take some
con Guess what he's gonna do. Guess what he's gonna
He gonna keep on the handset. He's not gonna say, well,
if you're gonna take concept, we have sex no more?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Who fit to say that?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Not in this life?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Pretty much couldn't tell me nothing, no reason would make
me want to not want it.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Really, I can't think of nothing. They need to talk.
I've heard everything.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, they really need to have a different time.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
I mean, you know it's it's it's not the right time.
Well but it's eight now, but when Yeah, I've tried
to put the time on it. It's not the right time.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, all right, all right. Steve Poster comments on today's
Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
No, I mean it's not the right time, Steve, it's
the wrong time. This whole week, the whole week, Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Today Tuesdays.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
You know. Comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app Free Never Sounded
So Good. You can download it today. Coming up at
forty six minutes after the hour, you know what it is,
Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to
(13:12):
Harvey Morning Show
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Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.