She’s Way Too Comfortable

Dear Steve and Shirley, I am a 29 year old man and I was dating an almost perfect woman until recently. We met at the wedding of one of my oldest friends and my friend had lots of great things to say about her. That was 7 months ago and we were taking time to get to know each other. She’s two years older than me and further along in her career than I am, but she’s never made a big deal out of it....................

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Episode Transcript

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(00:43):
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It is the strong very Letter. Thank you, Nephew. Subject,
She's way too comfortable. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a twenty
nine year old man and I was dating an almost
perfect woman until recently. We met at a wedding of

(01:04):
one of my oldest friends, and my friend had lots
of great things to say about her. That was seven
months ago, and we were taking time to get to
know each other. She's two years older than me and
further along in her career than I am, but she's
never made a big deal out of it. We started
attending church together right away, and I've met her family

(01:26):
and friends, and she's met my mother. My mother didn't
have much to say about her, and that bothered me.
A few weeks later, my mother called me and said,
my girlfriend has mannerisms of a trifling woman. She told
me that my kitchen should have been clean, and there
should have been the basic things like an adequate amount

(01:46):
of bottle of water and liquid soap in the kitchen
and both of my bathrooms. I didn't know what that
meant until recently, when I started leaving my girlfriend alone
at my house when I go on work trips. I
came home one day to find her dirty clothes in
a pile on the floor of my closet, and she
said she didn't know where else to put them. The
bed looked like it hadn't been made up since I left,

(02:09):
and she said she intended to wash the sheets before
I came home. That's not the half of it, though.
She now comes into the bathroom and uses the bathroom
while I'm in the shower or brushing my teeth. She's
spend every night at my house since then, and whenever
she goes back to her house, she brings more clothes
to my guest room. My mother was right, and I

(02:33):
wish I had paid more attention. I want to be
with her, but she's too comfortable and taking over my home.
How do I slow things down a bit and get
her back into her own house? Okay, I'm trying to
assess what the problem is and what you really want
and why, Because at the beginning of this letter, when

(02:54):
you guys, you met and everything, and you didn't have
an issue with this woman. You said she was almost perfect,
almost perfect until your mom stepped in and said she
had trifling ways. Your mom had a small list of
wrong things in your house that she held your girlfriend
accountable for, things like soap in the bathrooms, in the kitchen,
no bottled water, and the messy kitchen too. I agree

(03:19):
that if your girl is staying there, she should at
least make sure she cleans up after herself. I have
no problem with that, but it sounds like your girl
is thinking she's a guest She's thinking herself as a guest,
not the woman of the house. Right now, you know
what I say, don't be a mama's boy. Here, have
your own grown man conversation with your girlfriend and discuss

(03:40):
these boundaries in the bathroom and stuff that you don't like,
you know, meaning her staying at your house too much,
all that. Discuss everything with her. Remember you said you
were taking time to get to know each other, and
that's a process and talking and communicating, it's all a
major part of that. See how she receives a conversation.

(04:00):
If she receives it negatively, positively, and then go from there.
And by the way, have you been to her house
because you didn't mention that was her house clean. If
it's a mess and you like it clean, then you
guys have a real problem. The point is you should
handle this situation, not your mom. Steve. Nope, Shirley, I

(04:24):
appreciate it. This young man has a different problem. This
boy right, hell lord him moving too fast? Boy, We're
just moving too fast. Twenty nine year old guy the
Tyler letters, she weighed too comfortable. Oh boy, I will

(04:44):
watch How to Teach You Something Sun. Twenty nine year
old man. I was dating an almost perfect woman keyword.
I was dating an almost perfect woman. There are none
of them, son, there are no There are no perfect men,
no relationships that are no perfect people. When you thought that,

(05:07):
you was only setting yourself up for the let down.
So let's go on and start met at the wedding
of one of my oldest friends. My friends had a
lot of great things to say about her. That was
seven months ago. We were taking time to get to
know each other. But watch this. She's two years older
than me and further along in her career than I am.

(05:28):
But she never made a big deal out of that.
We started attending church together right away, and I met
her family and friends, and she's met my mother. My
mother didn't have much to say about her, and that
bothered me. A few weeks later, my mother called me
and said, my girlfriend has mannerisms of a trifling woman. Oh,

(05:49):
you costed you. That's gonna Perkerman's kids back when her mama.
When a man's mama made that assessment, it don't make
you a mama's boys, just her assessment. Nah. I could
have called this to Mama, just don't like and she hating,
she overprotective. I could go there, but that's not the case.
She called and said that after a few weeks, and

(06:14):
then the reason she told us what I didn't agree with.
She said the kitchen should have been clean, and that
should have been basic things like adequate amount of bottle
water and liquid soaping the kitchen on both of my bathrooms.
I ain't know what that meant me either. Dog, I
don't eat, so what do they't? No, damn bottle water
isn't there. I got a big ass house and pay
people and sometimes ain't. No, damn bottle water isn't now

(06:35):
here's will roll because of this, But that's neither here
nor that. Okay, if hangun, we'll have part two of
your response coming up in twenty three minutes. After the
subject of today's strawberry letter is She's way too comfortable.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening show,
all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

(06:57):
The subject She's way too comfortable. Well, I'm gonna teach
you something about being a young man, So listen up.
This is gonna be good. You're twenty nine year od dude,
day new woman, a couple of years old, and you
you met out of way and everything was going to God.
You've met her and you thought she was an almost
perfect woman, which was setting yourself up for this letter,
because there are none of those out there, and there

(07:18):
are no perfect men out there. So now that you
was looking for near perfection and you found out it
ain't that. Now you're gonna write into the radio show.
So well, here we go. But you wrote in Uncle Steve,
So that's good because I'm gonna teach you something. Man.
She makes more money than you. Never made a big
deal out of it. Y'all immediately started attending to church
and everybody you met her family, you met your family.
That thing to ball that you was. Your mother didn't

(07:40):
have much to say about it, that ball that you
and I understand. But a couple of weeks later, your
mama called and your mama said that your girlfriend has
mannerisms of a trifling woman. Now that perks a young
man's ears back when his mother says that because he
loves his mother. Most men are looking for their mama
or traits like or inner woman. So when you mom

(08:00):
and say your girlfriend't got mannerisms of a trifling woman,
that's different. So and she told me that your kitchen
should have been cleaning, and should have been basic things
like adequate amount of bottle water liquid soap in the
kitchen and both of my bathrooms. I don't know what
that meant well me either, dogs be honest with you,

(08:20):
I don't either. You can come over my house and
not bring no damn bottle water. I can deal with that.
You ain't got to put soap in the kitchen on
the bathroom. Hell, wipe your hands on, run them under
some water, wipe your hands off, Come on back in here.
But that's neither hear, no that, And then he started
figuring it out when I started leaving my girlfriend alone
in my house when I go on work trips. I

(08:41):
came home one day to found dirty clothes in the
pile on the floor in mcloset. The girl told you
she didn't know where else to put them, but the
bed looked like they had been made up since I left.
She said she intended to wash the sheets before I
came home. And but that ain't the half of it.
She now comes into the bathroom and use this the

(09:03):
bathroom while I'm in the shower or brushing my teeth.
This where the latter took a turn. That's a cost
slamming on break what I'm in here brushing my teeth.

(09:25):
You're using the tarlet, I'm in the shower. You're using
the toilet that ain't comfortable. You're doing too much. I
don't want to hear this while I'm in the bathroom.
I don't want to see this side of you. We
ain't that cool. She spent every night at my house
since then, and whenever she goes back to her house,

(09:48):
she brings more clothes to my guest room. She's moving
too faster, she trying to move in. You're a good dude,
man that she see it. She seeing She's trying to
get all her stuff over that marker territory. Y'all been
spending every night together. But when she go home, she
brings more clothes to your guest room because it ain't

(10:10):
a guest room no more. You know why, because you
ain't fit to hand no more guests. Your guest room
stands for guess who was the last person in? Now
that's what your guest room is. Now. My mother was right,
and I wish I had paid more attention. I want

(10:30):
to be with her, but she's too comfortable and taking
over my home. How do I slow things down a
bit and get her back to her own house? Now, son,
this is where I'm gonna help you out. This is
Uncle Steve talking to you. See. The problem is, young man,
you don't know how to analyze your own feelings and situation.
That's the problem you're having because you like her and

(10:53):
you thought she was perfectly trying to work through a
couple things. But some of these things that you're trying
to work through, I don't think you're gonna be able
to tolerate this. A messy woman it's hard to deal with,
just like a messy man, it's hard to deal with.
But I for me, and you can call it sexist
or whatever you want to. I can't date a sloppy woman.

(11:16):
I can't do it. I can't. I can't do that.
I cannot date a woman that that don't keep herself
up in the house. I can't do it. I can't
do it. I can't do it. I'm not that great
when it comes to keeping things around the house clean. Now,
both of us trifling. So now I'm sorry. You can
call that what you wanted, but my girl can't be
trifling because I already know I'm sitting my trifling when

(11:38):
they come to the house. See right there, right there. Now,
you say what you want to say about me, But
I'm making a call, and it ain't hard job to
keep it clean. It's really ain't. I understand that. It's
a pitch you in and do it both ways. I
got all that, and that's what we do around here.
I pitch in, I pitch you. I pay for somebody
to do my part. Yeah, that's how I pitch in.

(12:00):
And you can do what you want to do. But
I don't know how you're gonna have it. But just
coming in this damn bathroom, I'm here trying to brush
my teeth. That's what you ain't gonna do. You not
have to pull your drawers down, leave round your ankles
to be sitting there making sounds and noise. I'm in
here brushing my damn teeth. This's gonna stop right here.
You got to go back home. Now, you saying now
hating that knot? That's what what what you think? Using

(12:20):
the bathroom and she in that jampan U? Now, how
do I slow things down a bit and get her
back to her house? Dog? You don't know this, but
you got to break up with this one because let
me explain something to you. It's more of this, you
just seeing this, you just get scratching the surface. Dog
in seven months, if she using the bathroom in front

(12:41):
of you, it's some more behind curtain number three. I
promise you that dog, you don't know how to analyze
these feelings you have, and I break up at her.
She's not fit to stop being triping dog. I break
up on today's Priory Letter. That's Harvey FM on Instagram

(13:02):
and Facebook. Okay, let's check out mother right, check out
the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming up at forty
six minutes after the hour, Junior and Sports Talk. Right
after this, you're listening to the name Harvey Morning Show