February 4, 2019 • 14 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I am a 32 year old single female and my family moved to the states when I was 15 so we could have a better life. In my culture, I grew up with a huge extended family and we stick close together, but now I have my own apartment and I love having my freedom. My mother often tells me that I should’ve been married years ago so she can have grandbabies, but I’m not ready for that. My parents both have good jobs and finally got the big house they were dreaming of and they have moved more family members to the U.S. to live with them.........
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Buckle up, hold on tight. We got it for you here.
It is a strawberry subject. Should I do it for
the culture? Here's Stephen Shirley. Yeah. I'm a thirty two
year old single female and my family moved to the
States when I was fifteen so we could have a
better life and my culture. I grew up with a
(00:21):
huge extended family and we stick close together. But now
I have my own apartment and I love having my freedom.
My mother often tells me that I should should have
been married years ago so she can have grand babies,
but I'm not ready for that. My parents both have
good jobs and finally got the big house they were
dreaming of, and they have moved more family members to
(00:43):
the US to live with them. Now. My mother wants
her brother, my uncle, to come live with them, but
he can't seem to get his visa approved. So here's
when the problem started. Three months ago, I had dinner
with my family and my mom asked me to do
her aver since I was still single and had my
own place. Stephen Shirley, can you believe that my mother
(01:06):
asked me to marry her brother, my uncle, so he
could get citizenship. My grandmother and father were in on
it and said, you know that they had been discussing
this for a while. I was so confused. First of all,
I do believe that it's illegal to marry your relatives
(01:27):
in this country. My parents and grandmother said it was
no big deal and that families do it all the time.
I got sick to my stomach and still can't believe
they asked me to do that. It's hard for me
to talk to them now without the constant pressure to
do my part for the family bond. I know what
you're going to say, but how do you tell my
family that they're all crazy and this is so wrong.
(01:50):
I'm afraid our bond will be broken forever. It's a
cultural thing. Please help? Okay, what you didn't mention it?
So I have to ask you what culture is this
where you can marry your own uncle where? And no disrespect,
of course to your culture. Um, but I personally haven't
(02:10):
heard of such a thing. I mean, I have heard
of people, you know, dating and possibly marrying their cousins
down down down the line, cousins, but not their uncles,
I mean, not in the US, because that is not
our culture. And thank you for pointing that out. In nephew.
I mean, you stupid. This is not about you, guys.
(02:43):
I loved you, know in the letter where you said
you have your your thirty two year old single female,
you have your own apartment, and you love having your freedom. Yes,
that's you know what living in the US is all about.
You can You're free to do what you want to
do with your life. Uh control your own destiny. I
think your family is pressuring you to do something against
(03:04):
your will, something you're very uncomfortable with. I mean, I
know if you were to be able to marry him,
it wouldn't be a traditional marriage. I get that, but
but who would marry their uncle anyway? But you know
you're you're up against your whole family here, and that's
not easy because it's only you by yourself. So I
(03:25):
have to tell you you cannot cave into this request.
You cannot. You gotta now. I know you said you
don't want to talk to them, but you have to
speak up for them and say no, I'm not doing this.
Your family is just going to have to find another
way to get uncle whoever in the country. He's having
a problem with his visa. Maybe that's telling you something
(03:48):
right there. Maybe he doesn't need to be here, Steve, Well, well,
these are letters that I happen to specialize. Yet, you know,
Stephen Sherley, this thirty two year old single woman and
riding or rode in and said that her family moved
her to the States where she was fifteen or better
life and all that, now, in my culture is the
(04:11):
key to this whole letter. In my culture, grew up
with a huge extended family, were close together. You got
your own apartment, You love your freedom. Now my mother
tells me that you tells her that you should have
been married by now so she could have some grandkids.
But you ain't ready for that. Your parents got good job,
(04:34):
finally got that big house they was dreaming of that
did they moved that family to the US to live
with them. Now your mama won't her brother who is
your uncle, to come live with them, but he can't
get a visa approved. Now listen to me. First of all,
you shouldn't have rode in because you know that we
(04:57):
got in charge of the office. Now you know who
our president is. Stopped talking about your family trying to
come him. It ain't got no to him visa. This
is not the time we got We got Instagram, people
doing podcasts. Is people can pull the except from this show.
(05:20):
They're gonna find out where you wrote this letter from,
and you and your whole damn family gonna get sent back.
So I just wanted to throw that warning out for
our share this with you. Now. Your mama's brother can't
get his visa. See, they're gonna use that against him,
so his When the problem started three months ago, you
(05:43):
was having dinner with your family. Your mama asked you
to do her favors since you was singing and had
your own place. Your mama asked you to marry her brother,
who is your uncle, so he could get citizens You
what what is you're talking about? What culture is this?
(06:07):
This ain't culture. This call is sess. This ain't culture. Lady.
You wrote the letter on should I commit incess? It's
what the title will be. It's your damn uncle marry
(06:28):
your uncle ruin your life so his old ass can
have a life. Then you got to come over here
and get divorced, which probably ain't no problem in your culture.
It don't make no sense. First of all, your family
(06:50):
is too close, y'all too close, and this gonna make
y'all just godly close bad. This don't make no sense
right here, man, I'm so sorry, you know, listen to me.
There's got to be a reason why your uncle don't
(07:11):
have nobody. It's got to be nobody wanted, not even
the painters. As sorry, phone you hang on, Steve. We're
gonna have Part two of Your Respects. Part two today's
Strawberry Letters subjects. Should I do it for the culture? Yeah? Oh,
(07:32):
this woman who's thirty two in some culture. She won't
tell us who it is. We can't guess because we
don't want the emails and letters. Oh, they moved to
the state she's fifteen, for better life. I grew up
with a huge extended family and everything. Blah blah blah. Love.
She moved out on her own apartment. She loved having
a freedom. You know what she was in locked up
(07:53):
in now then your mama often tell me how she
should have got married because she's gonna have grandkids by now.
And you know, both her parents got good jobs and
they finally got a nice big house and all this hell,
and they want more family members to come to the
US to live with them. I warned her on the
last break to stop saying this because of the man
we have in the White House. He finds out y'all
(08:16):
trying to come over hill and they got the damn
Vigas visa. They're gonna do some. Me said, all y'all
asks gonna be back. So I just wanted her to
slow down. Her mother tells wants her brother, who is
your uncle, to come live with you with them, but
he can't seem to get his visa approved. Now, if
(08:36):
this is from one of the seven countries that done
Trump has, you know, put on the list, we probably
shouldn't even be discussing this. But let's just move on.
Three months ago, you haven't dinner with your family, and
your mama asked you to do your favor since you
still single and had your own plates. The lady says, Stephen,
(09:00):
only can you believe that my mama asked me to
marry her brother, my uncle, so he could get citizens
ship to marry her brother. My uncle, and my grandmother
and father was in on it too, say they've been
discussing it for a while. Listen to me. This is
(09:22):
not call culture. This is called insists that ain't what
we do over here. You can't do that, young lady,
and you know it, and I'm glad you saying at
the end of the letter. I am sick to my stomach,
and your whole damn family ought to be too, that
(09:45):
crazy ass request, not man, your damn uncle. I wish
somebody would have came with me telling out we married
your aunt. I see, Steve, No, hell no. You know
my aunt Agnes. I told her when I was a
little boy, if I ever made it, all my jokes
(10:05):
was gonna be about hook because she was evil. My
aunt Agnes, and I'm telling you right now, wouldn't do
nothing for me. I couldn't go to the store to
earn a nickel like the rest of the kids. She's
to send the kids to the store to make a nickel, right.
She wouldn't let me go because I studied, and she
don't want to wait all day for her as a cigarette.
That her. Oh that's the truth. Yeah, So I told her.
(10:31):
She told me, you ain't gonna ever be nothing. I
told him when I told her I was gonna be
on TV. Anybody got all day and wait on you
to say nothing on TV? I said, wide body looking,
I couldn't stand my aunt. She get on my nerves.
(10:54):
I looked like man hoo, old ass, you said, and
she said, Then you said in the letter, you said,
I do believe that it's illegal to marry your relatives
in this country. You damn right, it is, You damn
right it is. My parents and grandmother said it was
(11:16):
no big deal and that families do it all the time.
Do it well, do it well. I don't know what
your coach is. This ain't what we do over here.
I got sick to my stomach, and it's hard for
me to talk to them now without the constant pressure
to do my part for the family bond. I know
(11:39):
what you're going to say, But how do I tell
my family that they all crazy and this is so wrong.
Go tell your family that this is all crazy and
this is so wrong, and then walk out and keep
your apartment quick moving all the people in. You're gonna
end up your apartment gonna look like your mom and
(12:00):
daddy house, a bunch of people sitting up in there
that ain't got no damn visible. And when Ice find
out and everybody, they're coming to your house and everybody
going down. I have a culture you in. This is
a dangerous letter, young lady. Now, this is what I
say to you from this moment on, disown your family.
(12:27):
Quit going over there, quit parking your call over now,
matter of fact, move out you I move out this
apartment and get anothering, and don't tell none of them
where it is. Marry your uncle that's sitting up in
here with his old ass belt. You well see, you
(12:52):
know the reason here why he can't find nobody to
marry him. You know why I don't nobody It won't him,
Oh don't nobody won't him? Now he over here? They
don't put him off on you. Everybody in the family
knows something wrong with your uncle. That's why he ain't
(13:12):
married now, sitting over there, got one tooth just sitting
up in the middle of sitting over there. Man, it's crazy. Yeah,
make no sense. Yeah, she she's got to speak up
for herself and tell them she's not with it, just
(13:34):
like I'm not with us. I'm not with us at all.
Tell your mamma to marn find another way. But she's
already married to her dad. Okay, divorce your daddy as
soon as you marry your brother. Divorce your brother and
remarry your daddy, you know, since remaking crazy ass? How
(13:57):
about that? Mamma? All right, guys, bluy me Grandmama. Grandmama
ain't got nobody. Hit us up on Instagram at Steve
Harvey FM with your thoughts on today. Strawberry Lettering, you're
listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
Buckle up, hold on tight. We got it for you here.
It is a strawberry subject. Should I do it for
the culture? Here's Stephen Shirley. Yeah. I'm a thirty two
year old single female and my family moved to the
States when I was fifteen so we could have a
better life and my culture. I grew up with a
(00:21):
huge extended family and we stick close together. But now
I have my own apartment and I love having my freedom.
My mother often tells me that I should should have
been married years ago so she can have grand babies,
but I'm not ready for that. My parents both have
good jobs and finally got the big house they were
dreaming of, and they have moved more family members to
(00:43):
the US to live with them. Now. My mother wants
her brother, my uncle, to come live with them, but
he can't seem to get his visa approved. So here's
when the problem started. Three months ago, I had dinner
with my family and my mom asked me to do
her aver since I was still single and had my
own place. Stephen Shirley, can you believe that my mother
(01:06):
asked me to marry her brother, my uncle, so he
could get citizenship. My grandmother and father were in on
it and said, you know that they had been discussing
this for a while. I was so confused. First of all,
I do believe that it's illegal to marry your relatives
(01:27):
in this country. My parents and grandmother said it was
no big deal and that families do it all the time.
I got sick to my stomach and still can't believe
they asked me to do that. It's hard for me
to talk to them now without the constant pressure to
do my part for the family bond. I know what
you're going to say, but how do you tell my
family that they're all crazy and this is so wrong.
(01:50):
I'm afraid our bond will be broken forever. It's a
cultural thing. Please help? Okay, what you didn't mention it?
So I have to ask you what culture is this
where you can marry your own uncle where? And no disrespect,
of course to your culture. Um, but I personally haven't
(02:10):
heard of such a thing. I mean, I have heard
of people, you know, dating and possibly marrying their cousins
down down down the line, cousins, but not their uncles,
I mean, not in the US, because that is not
our culture. And thank you for pointing that out. In nephew.
I mean, you stupid. This is not about you, guys.
(02:43):
I loved you, know in the letter where you said
you have your your thirty two year old single female,
you have your own apartment, and you love having your freedom. Yes,
that's you know what living in the US is all about.
You can You're free to do what you want to
do with your life. Uh control your own destiny. I
think your family is pressuring you to do something against
(03:04):
your will, something you're very uncomfortable with. I mean, I
know if you were to be able to marry him,
it wouldn't be a traditional marriage. I get that, but
but who would marry their uncle anyway? But you know
you're you're up against your whole family here, and that's
not easy because it's only you by yourself. So I
(03:25):
have to tell you you cannot cave into this request.
You cannot. You gotta now. I know you said you
don't want to talk to them, but you have to
speak up for them and say no, I'm not doing this.
Your family is just going to have to find another
way to get uncle whoever in the country. He's having
a problem with his visa. Maybe that's telling you something
(03:48):
right there. Maybe he doesn't need to be here, Steve, Well, well,
these are letters that I happen to specialize. Yet, you know,
Stephen Sherley, this thirty two year old single woman and
riding or rode in and said that her family moved
her to the States where she was fifteen or better
life and all that, now, in my culture is the
(04:11):
key to this whole letter. In my culture, grew up
with a huge extended family, were close together. You got
your own apartment, You love your freedom. Now my mother
tells me that you tells her that you should have
been married by now so she could have some grandkids.
But you ain't ready for that. Your parents got good job,
(04:34):
finally got that big house they was dreaming of that
did they moved that family to the US to live
with them. Now your mama won't her brother who is
your uncle, to come live with them, but he can't
get a visa approved. Now listen to me. First of all,
you shouldn't have rode in because you know that we
(04:57):
got in charge of the office. Now you know who
our president is. Stopped talking about your family trying to
come him. It ain't got no to him visa. This
is not the time we got We got Instagram, people
doing podcasts. Is people can pull the except from this show.
(05:20):
They're gonna find out where you wrote this letter from,
and you and your whole damn family gonna get sent back.
So I just wanted to throw that warning out for
our share this with you. Now. Your mama's brother can't
get his visa. See, they're gonna use that against him,
so his When the problem started three months ago, you
(05:43):
was having dinner with your family. Your mama asked you
to do her favors since you was singing and had
your own place. Your mama asked you to marry her brother,
who is your uncle, so he could get citizens You
what what is you're talking about? What culture is this?
(06:07):
This ain't culture. This call is sess. This ain't culture. Lady.
You wrote the letter on should I commit incess? It's
what the title will be. It's your damn uncle marry
(06:28):
your uncle ruin your life so his old ass can
have a life. Then you got to come over here
and get divorced, which probably ain't no problem in your culture.
It don't make no sense. First of all, your family
(06:50):
is too close, y'all too close, and this gonna make
y'all just godly close bad. This don't make no sense
right here, man, I'm so sorry, you know, listen to me.
There's got to be a reason why your uncle don't
(07:11):
have nobody. It's got to be nobody wanted, not even
the painters. As sorry, phone you hang on, Steve. We're
gonna have Part two of Your Respects. Part two today's
Strawberry Letters subjects. Should I do it for the culture? Yeah? Oh,
(07:32):
this woman who's thirty two in some culture. She won't
tell us who it is. We can't guess because we
don't want the emails and letters. Oh, they moved to
the state she's fifteen, for better life. I grew up
with a huge extended family and everything. Blah blah blah. Love.
She moved out on her own apartment. She loved having
a freedom. You know what she was in locked up
(07:53):
in now then your mama often tell me how she
should have got married because she's gonna have grandkids by now.
And you know, both her parents got good jobs and
they finally got a nice big house and all this hell,
and they want more family members to come to the
US to live with them. I warned her on the
last break to stop saying this because of the man
we have in the White House. He finds out y'all
(08:16):
trying to come over hill and they got the damn
Vigas visa. They're gonna do some. Me said, all y'all
asks gonna be back. So I just wanted her to
slow down. Her mother tells wants her brother, who is
your uncle, to come live with you with them, but
he can't seem to get his visa approved. Now, if
(08:36):
this is from one of the seven countries that done
Trump has, you know, put on the list, we probably
shouldn't even be discussing this. But let's just move on.
Three months ago, you haven't dinner with your family, and
your mama asked you to do your favor since you
still single and had your own plates. The lady says, Stephen,
(09:00):
only can you believe that my mama asked me to
marry her brother, my uncle, so he could get citizens
ship to marry her brother. My uncle, and my grandmother
and father was in on it too, say they've been
discussing it for a while. Listen to me. This is
(09:22):
not call culture. This is called insists that ain't what
we do over here. You can't do that, young lady,
and you know it, and I'm glad you saying at
the end of the letter. I am sick to my stomach,
and your whole damn family ought to be too, that
(09:45):
crazy ass request, not man, your damn uncle. I wish
somebody would have came with me telling out we married
your aunt. I see, Steve, No, hell no. You know
my aunt Agnes. I told her when I was a
little boy, if I ever made it, all my jokes
(10:05):
was gonna be about hook because she was evil. My
aunt Agnes, and I'm telling you right now, wouldn't do
nothing for me. I couldn't go to the store to
earn a nickel like the rest of the kids. She's
to send the kids to the store to make a nickel, right.
She wouldn't let me go because I studied, and she
don't want to wait all day for her as a cigarette.
That her. Oh that's the truth. Yeah, So I told her.
(10:31):
She told me, you ain't gonna ever be nothing. I
told him when I told her I was gonna be
on TV. Anybody got all day and wait on you
to say nothing on TV? I said, wide body looking,
I couldn't stand my aunt. She get on my nerves.
(10:54):
I looked like man hoo, old ass, you said, and
she said, Then you said in the letter, you said,
I do believe that it's illegal to marry your relatives
in this country. You damn right, it is, You damn
right it is. My parents and grandmother said it was
(11:16):
no big deal and that families do it all the time.
Do it well, do it well. I don't know what
your coach is. This ain't what we do over here.
I got sick to my stomach, and it's hard for
me to talk to them now without the constant pressure
to do my part for the family bond. I know
(11:39):
what you're going to say, But how do I tell
my family that they all crazy and this is so wrong.
Go tell your family that this is all crazy and
this is so wrong, and then walk out and keep
your apartment quick moving all the people in. You're gonna
end up your apartment gonna look like your mom and
(12:00):
daddy house, a bunch of people sitting up in there
that ain't got no damn visible. And when Ice find
out and everybody, they're coming to your house and everybody
going down. I have a culture you in. This is
a dangerous letter, young lady. Now, this is what I
say to you from this moment on, disown your family.
(12:27):
Quit going over there, quit parking your call over now,
matter of fact, move out you I move out this
apartment and get anothering, and don't tell none of them
where it is. Marry your uncle that's sitting up in
here with his old ass belt. You well see, you
(12:52):
know the reason here why he can't find nobody to
marry him. You know why I don't nobody It won't him,
Oh don't nobody won't him? Now he over here? They
don't put him off on you. Everybody in the family
knows something wrong with your uncle. That's why he ain't
(13:12):
married now, sitting over there, got one tooth just sitting
up in the middle of sitting over there. Man, it's crazy. Yeah,
make no sense. Yeah, she she's got to speak up
for herself and tell them she's not with it, just
(13:34):
like I'm not with us. I'm not with us at all.
Tell your mamma to marn find another way. But she's
already married to her dad. Okay, divorce your daddy as
soon as you marry your brother. Divorce your brother and
remarry your daddy, you know, since remaking crazy ass? How
(13:57):
about that? Mamma? All right, guys, bluy me Grandmama. Grandmama
ain't got nobody. Hit us up on Instagram at Steve
Harvey FM with your thoughts on today. Strawberry Lettering, you're
listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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