September 24, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter, heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, Wednesday, September 24th, 2025. Subject: "The Kitchen & The Bedroom"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVEFM dot com
by clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now. And you never know,
this one could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
You got it for you here.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
It is Strawberry Letter subject to the Kitchen and the Bedroom.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a forty seven year old man
and I'm married to a forty two year old woman
that I've known for twelve years. We got married after
we'd been apart for about five years. I didn't want
to let her go again, so I rushed in. Before
we got back together, I dated a great businesswoman that
(00:48):
was the total package. She was a great cook, and
she held it down as a small business owner. She
looked good and smell good all of the time. She
set the bar really high as far as but she
didn't want to be married, so we ended up growing apart.
I rebound it back to what was familiar and who
I was comfortable with. The problem is that she's way
(01:12):
too comfy with everything. My wife is not the woman
I met years ago. She's a bit of a slop now.
And I heard her on the phone with her mom
a few days ago saying that I love her unconditionally
and we'll drink her bath water if she asks me to.
She's so wrong about that. I'm falling out of love
with her and starting to feel stuck. She's got an
(01:34):
outstanding body and she knows it. She thinks she's putting
it on me in the bedroom, but it's always sloppy
and all over the place. I just want to make
love to my wife every once in a while, but
she's on some freaky stuff all of the time. I
want home cooked meals that I don't always have to cook,
and she told me that she no longer enjoys cooking,
(01:56):
and we need to get a meal prep delivered or
her mom can cook for a occasionally. She must think
I'm a fool if she cannot meet my basic needs
in the kitchen in the bedroom. Why am I in this?
I'm a Christian and I don't believe in divorce, but
I can't keep doing this how can I fix my
failing marriage before it's too late. Okay, I'm just a
(02:18):
bit confused about what exactly you want. I mean, you're
complaining about everything, but one of the main things is
the bedroom action. Because you put that in your title.
You're saying she can't please you, but she wants it
all the time and you only want it every once
in a while. There's a problem there. You know, first
(02:38):
of all, you got to have an honest conversation with
her about your concerns. You've got to communicate with her,
just like you told Steve and I. You've got to
let your wife know what's on your mind. I mean,
you owe to yourself, you owe to your wife, You
owe to your marriage, and don't let her go around
thinking she's got it going on and but you think
she's missing it. I mean, that's not good, and that's
(02:59):
on you. The kitchen in the bedroom are important to you,
and you're not getting what you want, which is only
once in a while. But you're complaining because she wants
it all the time. You're probably both sitting up there frustrated.
I say, you know, when you do talk to her,
be careful how you say. What you say because you
could really end up hurting your wife's feelings. If you're
(03:21):
uncomfortable with doing this, get some sort of counseling because
your marriage is in trouble and you need to start
looking at some serious solutions. You said you're a Christian
who doesn't believe in divorce. Let me tell you something.
Christians get divorced every single day, every day, you know,
for whatever reason for cheating. Christians cheat all of that,
(03:43):
all of those things. You're asking, how can you fix
your failing marriage before it's too late. You got to
fix yourself, You got to fix these things together. So
again I suggest counseling therapy. You know you're staying in
this and you're not happy and she may not be
happy either. Where you are right now. It can lead
to cheating, It can lead to resentment, disrespect, distance, all
(04:06):
those things, and before you know it, you'll be a
divorced Christian if you don't decide what you're gonna do
and try to fix it now.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Steve, Yeah, great response. Surely this marriage is over. This
is a rap. You ain't fixing this one. This one
is not salvageable. I'm going to read you. This is
a man who wrote this letter, and I am going
to show you why this letter ain't gonna First of all,
when a man going to get down to write, he
(04:36):
already done.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
He just needs to hear some other opinions.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
So listen to this forty seven year old man married
to a forty two ye old woman he's known for
twelve years. We got married after we had been apart
five years. This is critical to the letter. They had
been a part for five years.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
A lot can.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Happen in five years, and a lot of changes can
happen in five years. I'm telling you this marriage is over.
I didn't want to let her go again, so I
rushed in before we before we got back together. Now
I rushed in before we got back together. Here your problem.
I dated a great businesswoman that was the total package.
(05:23):
She was a great cook, she held it down as
a small business owner. She looked good and smelled good
all the time. She set the bar really far as
high as dating gos. But she ain't want to be married,
so we ended up growing apart. This I will show
you later on in the letter why this is the
whole problem. This is why this marriage is doomed because
(05:50):
in the five years that they were apart. This is
what and who he got involved with, and this is
how he felt during the five year period they were apart.
This is the description of what this man was doing.
I dated a great business woman that was the total package.
(06:12):
Great cook, she held it down as a business owner.
She looked good and smelled good all the time. She
set the bar really far as high as dating goals.
She just didn't want to be married. So we ended
up growing a part. Then, he said, I rebounded back
to what was familiar and who I was comfortable with.
(06:32):
And the problem is she's way too comfortable with everything.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Oh you ain't gonna fixed this, miss Strawberry.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
All right, we'll have part two of your response coming up,
Steve to this letter, the kitchen and the bedroom coming
up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Right after this,
you're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Heybody, it's your favorite play?
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Cause or looking for something new, Try fencing, the Olympic
and Paralympic sport that mix it speed, strategy and fun.
It's like chess meets cardio. Quick feet, quick decisions, and
satisfying beep when you score a point. Kids, teens and
adults can start anytime, no experience needed, and many clubs
have loner gear coaches teach fundamentals and safety.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
From day one.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
You can find a beginner class near you at USA
Fencing dot org slash try Fencing. That's USA Fencing dot
org slash try fencing.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The kitchen and the Bedroom.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
The name of this letter is this marriage is doomed.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Forty seven year old man dating a forty two year
old woman that he's known for twelve years. We got
married after we had been apart for five years, and
so he rushed back in because he didn't want to lose.
So but during the five year period, this is what
he did. I dated a great businesswoman that was a
total package. She was a great cookchie down in, a
(08:00):
small business owner. She looked good and smelled good all
the time. She set the bar really hard as far
as high as dating goals.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
But she didn't want to be married, so we ended
up going apart.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Ah, here we go. That's the problem with this whole letter.
Now here's the other problem. I rebounded back to what
was familiar in who I was comfortable with, and the
problem is she's way too comfy with every day. So
here is the beginning the second part of the problem,
which is why I say this marriage is due. My
wife is not the woman I met years ago. She's
(08:35):
a bit of a slob now. And I heard on
the phone with her mom a few days ago saying
that I love her unconditionally and would drink her bath water.
She asked me to guess what he said. She is
so wrong about that. I ain't taking the.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Teeth bowl in your little fucking math drinking bath for
it from you. Didn't you just hear him.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Describe her as a bit of a slob right now?
And then the man said, I'm falling out of love
with her and starting to feel stuck. You're not starting
to fall out of love. He out of love. This
is not a letter of something that's declining. This is
a letter about something that has declined. Because he said
(09:22):
I feel stuck now, he tried to bring it back.
She's got an outstanding body and she knows it. She
thinks she's putting on me in the bedroom, but it's
always sloppy and.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
All over the place.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Well, now, ladies, you're probably thinking, what does he mean
when he says, it's always sloppy and all over the place.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
It means she.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Doing too much, She doing too much, she doing the most,
and that ain't what he wants. It's sloppy and it's
all over the place. Every time he get a little
rhythm going, she won't jump up do something else.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
That's sloppy love.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Every time we get somewhere before I can get a
good rhythm going here, you won't jump up do something now.
And I'm gonna tell you why, because listen to this
line right here. I just want to make love to
my wife once in a while. But she on some
freaky stuff all the time. And you know where she
got this freaky stuff from the five years y'all was
a pond while you was dating Superwoman. She found ron
(10:34):
the Mac and he don't put it on her now.
She thinks that's the way it goes, sloppy and all
over the place. Do it like they flip over here,
Give me that that that's stand up over here. Okay,
you do whatever had Okay, now on your back. Okay,
now hold on to the shendy in and that swaying
crossed me one time. Hold on right there, go in there,
bring some water in here, throws them, throws them all
on me.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
It's just too much, she.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Told me, water in and thrust some oil.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yeah, okay, but she's on some freaking stuff all the time.
I want a home cooked meals that I don't always
have to cook.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
She told me.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
She no longer enjoys cooking, and we need to get
a meal prep delivered or her mom can.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Cook for us occasionally. She must think I'm a food.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
And you know why, he says, she think I'm a
food because of what he had before. He said, I
dated a great businesswoman that was a total packer. She
was a great cook. She held it down in a
small business. She looked good and smelled good all the time.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
She was not a slob, and she was not sloppy.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
She must think I'm a fool if she cannot meet
my basic needs in the kitchen, in the bedroom. Why
am I in this? See he wants he just wants
us to tell him why he in it? Then here's
the line of lines. I'm a Christian and I don't
believe in divorce, but I can't keep doing this. So
how can I fix my failing marriage before it's too late?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Before it's too late. No, it's already too late. First
of all, I'm a Christian. I don't believe in love.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
What did that got to do with it?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Shanny did say something that made all the sense, and well,
Christian get divorced all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
That's what you believe in.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I believe in the Bible, I sin, I believe in
in the weather channel. But sometimes I don't bring my jacket.
The problem with this is the comparison. The comparison is
the whole problem in this relationship right now.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
The five years they was a part, he ran up.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Into the real deal, the rebound. He got back with her,
and things have changed. It is no way to fix this.
You could bring it up if you want to, but
she's already convinced that you love her unconditioning you would
drink her bath water. She is wrong about that. He's
not drinking her bath wah, and he'd drink that other.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Girl's bath.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
So you don't think there's any way.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
That can know that.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
They ain't fixing the sugar because what he won't he
had and what he went back to you is not
what he had or what he won't anymore. As she
a slav now as she don't want to cook, as
she's doing too much in the building.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
With that, she's showing.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
What she learned in the five years he was off
and he WoT what he had before.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
This is a wrap. You can try to fix this
if you want to.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Mister all right, Please leave your comments on Today's letter
on Instagram, at Steve Harvey FM and check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the Steve
Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVEFM dot com
by clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now. And you never know,
this one could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
You got it for you here.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
It is Strawberry Letter subject to the Kitchen and the Bedroom.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a forty seven year old man
and I'm married to a forty two year old woman
that I've known for twelve years. We got married after
we'd been apart for about five years. I didn't want
to let her go again, so I rushed in. Before
we got back together, I dated a great businesswoman that
(00:48):
was the total package. She was a great cook, and
she held it down as a small business owner. She
looked good and smell good all of the time. She
set the bar really high as far as but she
didn't want to be married, so we ended up growing apart.
I rebound it back to what was familiar and who
I was comfortable with. The problem is that she's way
(01:12):
too comfy with everything. My wife is not the woman
I met years ago. She's a bit of a slop now.
And I heard her on the phone with her mom
a few days ago saying that I love her unconditionally
and we'll drink her bath water if she asks me to.
She's so wrong about that. I'm falling out of love
with her and starting to feel stuck. She's got an
(01:34):
outstanding body and she knows it. She thinks she's putting
it on me in the bedroom, but it's always sloppy
and all over the place. I just want to make
love to my wife every once in a while, but
she's on some freaky stuff all of the time. I
want home cooked meals that I don't always have to cook,
and she told me that she no longer enjoys cooking,
(01:56):
and we need to get a meal prep delivered or
her mom can cook for a occasionally. She must think
I'm a fool if she cannot meet my basic needs
in the kitchen in the bedroom. Why am I in this?
I'm a Christian and I don't believe in divorce, but
I can't keep doing this how can I fix my
failing marriage before it's too late. Okay, I'm just a
(02:18):
bit confused about what exactly you want. I mean, you're
complaining about everything, but one of the main things is
the bedroom action. Because you put that in your title.
You're saying she can't please you, but she wants it
all the time and you only want it every once
in a while. There's a problem there. You know, first
(02:38):
of all, you got to have an honest conversation with
her about your concerns. You've got to communicate with her,
just like you told Steve and I. You've got to
let your wife know what's on your mind. I mean,
you owe to yourself, you owe to your wife, You
owe to your marriage, and don't let her go around
thinking she's got it going on and but you think
she's missing it. I mean, that's not good, and that's
(02:59):
on you. The kitchen in the bedroom are important to you,
and you're not getting what you want, which is only
once in a while. But you're complaining because she wants
it all the time. You're probably both sitting up there frustrated.
I say, you know, when you do talk to her,
be careful how you say. What you say because you
could really end up hurting your wife's feelings. If you're
(03:21):
uncomfortable with doing this, get some sort of counseling because
your marriage is in trouble and you need to start
looking at some serious solutions. You said you're a Christian
who doesn't believe in divorce. Let me tell you something.
Christians get divorced every single day, every day, you know,
for whatever reason for cheating. Christians cheat all of that,
(03:43):
all of those things. You're asking, how can you fix
your failing marriage before it's too late. You got to
fix yourself, You got to fix these things together. So
again I suggest counseling therapy. You know you're staying in
this and you're not happy and she may not be
happy either. Where you are right now. It can lead
to cheating, It can lead to resentment, disrespect, distance, all
(04:06):
those things, and before you know it, you'll be a
divorced Christian if you don't decide what you're gonna do
and try to fix it now.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Steve, Yeah, great response. Surely this marriage is over. This
is a rap. You ain't fixing this one. This one
is not salvageable. I'm going to read you. This is
a man who wrote this letter, and I am going
to show you why this letter ain't gonna First of all,
when a man going to get down to write, he
(04:36):
already done.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
He just needs to hear some other opinions.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
So listen to this forty seven year old man married
to a forty two ye old woman he's known for
twelve years. We got married after we had been apart
five years. This is critical to the letter. They had
been a part for five years.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
A lot can.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Happen in five years, and a lot of changes can
happen in five years. I'm telling you this marriage is over.
I didn't want to let her go again, so I
rushed in before we before we got back together. Now
I rushed in before we got back together. Here your problem.
I dated a great businesswoman that was the total package.
(05:23):
She was a great cook, she held it down as
a small business owner. She looked good and smelled good
all the time. She set the bar really far as
high as dating gos. But she ain't want to be married,
so we ended up growing apart. This I will show
you later on in the letter why this is the
whole problem. This is why this marriage is doomed because
(05:50):
in the five years that they were apart. This is
what and who he got involved with, and this is
how he felt during the five year period they were apart.
This is the description of what this man was doing.
I dated a great business woman that was the total package.
(06:12):
Great cook, she held it down as a business owner.
She looked good and smelled good all the time. She
set the bar really far as high as dating goals.
She just didn't want to be married. So we ended
up growing a part. Then, he said, I rebounded back
to what was familiar and who I was comfortable with.
(06:32):
And the problem is she's way too comfortable with everything.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Oh you ain't gonna fixed this, miss Strawberry.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
All right, we'll have part two of your response coming up,
Steve to this letter, the kitchen and the bedroom coming
up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Right after this,
you're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Heybody, it's your favorite play?
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Cause or looking for something new, Try fencing, the Olympic
and Paralympic sport that mix it speed, strategy and fun.
It's like chess meets cardio. Quick feet, quick decisions, and
satisfying beep when you score a point. Kids, teens and
adults can start anytime, no experience needed, and many clubs
have loner gear coaches teach fundamentals and safety.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
From day one.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
You can find a beginner class near you at USA
Fencing dot org slash try Fencing. That's USA Fencing dot
org slash try fencing.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The kitchen and the Bedroom.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
The name of this letter is this marriage is doomed.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Forty seven year old man dating a forty two year
old woman that he's known for twelve years. We got
married after we had been apart for five years, and
so he rushed back in because he didn't want to lose.
So but during the five year period, this is what
he did. I dated a great businesswoman that was a
total package. She was a great cookchie down in, a
(08:00):
small business owner. She looked good and smelled good all
the time. She set the bar really hard as far
as high as dating goals.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
But she didn't want to be married, so we ended
up going apart.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Ah, here we go. That's the problem with this whole letter.
Now here's the other problem. I rebounded back to what
was familiar in who I was comfortable with, and the
problem is she's way too comfy with every day. So
here is the beginning the second part of the problem,
which is why I say this marriage is due. My
wife is not the woman I met years ago. She's
(08:35):
a bit of a slob now. And I heard on
the phone with her mom a few days ago saying
that I love her unconditionally and would drink her bath water.
She asked me to guess what he said. She is
so wrong about that. I ain't taking the.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Teeth bowl in your little fucking math drinking bath for
it from you. Didn't you just hear him.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Describe her as a bit of a slob right now?
And then the man said, I'm falling out of love
with her and starting to feel stuck. You're not starting
to fall out of love. He out of love. This
is not a letter of something that's declining. This is
a letter about something that has declined. Because he said
(09:22):
I feel stuck now, he tried to bring it back.
She's got an outstanding body and she knows it. She
thinks she's putting on me in the bedroom, but it's
always sloppy and.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
All over the place.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Well, now, ladies, you're probably thinking, what does he mean
when he says, it's always sloppy and all over the place.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
It means she.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Doing too much, She doing too much, she doing the most,
and that ain't what he wants. It's sloppy and it's
all over the place. Every time he get a little
rhythm going, she won't jump up do something else.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
That's sloppy love.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Every time we get somewhere before I can get a
good rhythm going here, you won't jump up do something now.
And I'm gonna tell you why, because listen to this
line right here. I just want to make love to
my wife once in a while. But she on some
freaky stuff all the time. And you know where she
got this freaky stuff from the five years y'all was
a pond while you was dating Superwoman. She found ron
(10:34):
the Mac and he don't put it on her now.
She thinks that's the way it goes, sloppy and all
over the place. Do it like they flip over here,
Give me that that that's stand up over here. Okay,
you do whatever had Okay, now on your back. Okay,
now hold on to the shendy in and that swaying
crossed me one time. Hold on right there, go in there,
bring some water in here, throws them, throws them all
on me.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
It's just too much, she.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Told me, water in and thrust some oil.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yeah, okay, but she's on some freaking stuff all the time.
I want a home cooked meals that I don't always
have to cook.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
She told me.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
She no longer enjoys cooking, and we need to get
a meal prep delivered or her mom can.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Cook for us occasionally. She must think I'm a food.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
And you know why, he says, she think I'm a
food because of what he had before. He said, I
dated a great businesswoman that was a total packer. She
was a great cook. She held it down in a
small business. She looked good and smelled good all the time.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
She was not a slob, and she was not sloppy.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
She must think I'm a fool if she cannot meet
my basic needs in the kitchen, in the bedroom. Why
am I in this? See he wants he just wants
us to tell him why he in it? Then here's
the line of lines. I'm a Christian and I don't
believe in divorce, but I can't keep doing this. So
how can I fix my failing marriage before it's too late?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Before it's too late. No, it's already too late. First
of all, I'm a Christian. I don't believe in love.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
What did that got to do with it?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Shanny did say something that made all the sense, and well,
Christian get divorced all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
That's what you believe in.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I believe in the Bible, I sin, I believe in
in the weather channel. But sometimes I don't bring my jacket.
The problem with this is the comparison. The comparison is
the whole problem in this relationship right now.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
The five years they was a part, he ran up.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Into the real deal, the rebound. He got back with her,
and things have changed. It is no way to fix this.
You could bring it up if you want to, but
she's already convinced that you love her unconditioning you would
drink her bath water. She is wrong about that. He's
not drinking her bath wah, and he'd drink that other.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Girl's bath.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
So you don't think there's any way.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
That can know that.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
They ain't fixing the sugar because what he won't he
had and what he went back to you is not
what he had or what he won't anymore. As she
a slav now as she don't want to cook, as
she's doing too much in the building.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
With that, she's showing.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
What she learned in the five years he was off
and he WoT what he had before.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
This is a wrap. You can try to fix this
if you want to.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Mister all right, Please leave your comments on Today's letter
on Instagram, at Steve Harvey FM and check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the Steve
Harvey Morning Show
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