May 23, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Friday, May 23rd, 2025: "The Men In My Fiance's Family"
A woman writes in and starts off admitting that when she first met her boyfriend, it was actually his dad who was hitting on her. But, she chose the son. She works as a counselor and has been trying to mediate arguments between her boyfriend's parents who are divorced. Now, she's gotten herself into a mess. Listen to her the whole letter and Steve & Shirley's responses!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com by
clicking by clicking submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, and we could
be reading your letter live on the air, just like
we're going to read this one right here, right now,
and you never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Thank you, nephew.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Subject the men in my fiance's family. Dear Stephen Shirley.
I'm engaged to a man that is eleven years my junior.
I'm forty two years old, and he jokes that his
father is only six years older than I am. It's
odd that I was attracted to him because I met
him with his dad and his dad was laying it
on thick. I was drawn to my fiance because he
(00:50):
was cool and laid back. I am very close to
my fiance's mother, and she has two sons by her husband.
When we're all together, my fiance and his two younger brothers,
we're a big, happy family. When his dad joins into
the mixed drama occurs. He and my fiance's mother have
been at odds for years because he didn't want to
(01:13):
be with her, simple as that they had my fiance
when they were in high school and broke up when.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
My fiance was ten years old.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Hey, stuff happens, but now he wants that old thing
back and she's not having it. My background is in counseling,
so I try to mediate their arguments, but they.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Get pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Over the weekend, we all got together for my future
mother in law sons graduation and I don't know why
my fiance's dad.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Showed up, but he did.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Her husband stepped to him and said it's not his son,
and he appreciates, appreciated the graduation gift, but he isn't
part of the family and should stop popping up. They
have words and it got loud, and my fiance's dad
told the husband that he was going to get his
girl back no matter what. I recorded the altercation on
(02:09):
my phone because I was recording the graduation. I gave
the video to my future mother in law and she
used the video to get a restraining order on my
fiance's father, saying he's a threat. My fiance and his
dad are furious with me. I did not intend for
this to happen. All I did was share the video.
(02:29):
How is this my fault and how do I fix it? Wow? Well,
it isn't your fault. I agree with you, and don't
take the blame for this. This is his dad's fault.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Period. You did nothing wrong.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Like you said, you were already filming the graduation. Who
knew your fiance's dad was coming and was going to
act a fool and something was going to.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Jump off like this.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
It would have been on tape anyway. And I am
concerned because it's dad has a nerve to be mad
at you for his bad behavior. He wasn't invited to
the graduation, and you said every time he comes around
the family, it's a problem.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Some drama occurs.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Not only that he's disrespecting the husband in his face
by saying he's trying to get his girl back.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
It's not his girl.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Remember he didn't want her, according to you, so she
moved on and got married, and now he can't handle it.
I know he's mad that his son got you over him,
and he missed out on you too, So his son,
your fiance is in an awkward position.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
He probably feels torn, feels guilty for being with you,
knowing his dad was trying so hard to get you,
and his dad has guilted him into being on his side.
This is a mess. Both the son and his father
are mad at you. The son is your fiance.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
I don't really know. Try to talk to your fiance
or something like that. I don't know if it's gonna help,
because it seems right now now that his loyalty is
to his dad. Maybe he'll get over it when it
simmers down a little bit, But I don't know, because
this really really is a mess.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Steve, Well, you know, I see a lot of problems
in this letter, and as I read this letter, I'm
gonna point out to you what I think are the
real problems. Okay, this woman says, I'm engaged to a
man that's eleven years my junior.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
He's forty two. That makes her fifty three.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Now she's forty two.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
She's forty two. So this dude is what thirty.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
One, thirty one, thirty one, and the.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Ninety is forty eight and her daddy, the daddy is
forty eight.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay, now, here's the problem.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
You're engaged to this man that's eleven years your junior
and you at forty two, and his father's sixt year
old than nine, which makes him forty eight.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
It's odd. Here's the letter.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
It's odd that I was attracted to him because I
met him with his dad, and his dad was laying
it on thick. Here's your problem. Here's one of the problems, tod.
Daddy was laying it on thick when he met you.
(05:25):
You were attracted to the boy, see Nain, Now.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
We got the problem.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Then you said I was drawn to my fiance because
he was cool and laid back. I'm very close to
my fiancees mother. See this story just takes a big jump.
Now she's very close to the fiance's mother, and she's
got two sons by her husband.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Well, we all.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Together, my fiance and his two younger brothers, we're a big,
happy family. When the dad joins into the mixed drama occurs.
He and my fiance's mother have been at odd for
years because he didn't want to be with her. Simple
as that they had my fiance when they were in
high school and broke up. And when my fiance was
ten years old, broke up with my fiance with tzoh hey,
(06:17):
stuff happens, but now he wants that old thing back
and he's not having it.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Here's your problem.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
My background is in counselor, so I try to mediate
their arguments, but they get pretty bad over the weekend.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
That go your other problem right there, you trying to
counsel be.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
When I come back, I'm gonna tell you all about
your little counselor eskapeion here why you'll need to get out.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Of the counselor be.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes to have to be
our today's Strawberry Letters subject the men and my fiance family.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
For most people, well, saving up a down payment can
be the biggest barrier to buy a home. That's why
Rocket Mortgage is lowering down payments to one percent for
eligible home buyers with one plus. You heard that right,
one percent down on the home with one plus from
Rocket Mortgage. You put down one percent, Rocket covers an
additional two percent, and.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
You're off to the races.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
Call eight hundred four Rocket or visit rocket dot com
to see how you can get a head start on
your starter home. Rocket Mortgage LLC licensed in fifty states
in MLS, Consumer Access dot Org number thirty thirty.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The men in my fiance's family is the subject.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
This lady forty two years old and fiance is thirty one.
He joked that she's six years closer to her daddy
age he forty. They met together. He hit on her,
He hit the daddy hit on her. She liked the
boy better, you know, so nine ay together, fast forward.
They got She got a great relationship with her fiance's mother.
(07:59):
She got two sons from another marriage. They had her
fiance when he was ten. They was in high school.
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Blah blah blah.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
That don't even matter. Here go your problem right here.
First of all, the daddy hit on you when y'all
first met. It didn't work out. Second problem is, my
background is in counseling, so I try to mediate they arguments,
but they get pretty bad. Now, how are you gonna
(08:27):
mediate they arguments? When he was hitting on you. How
does that work? What everything he do is gonna be
a flex move in front of you? And how are
you mediating old people arguments? You know how old people arguing?
Now you're all in the middle of that. You shut up,
you shut up. I ain't gotta shutf ain't got shut over.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
I don't want to.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Well, then you need to get the walk to the
old argument. What what have I ever shut up before?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
See how you counsel that?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
All?
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Right, now let's move on. Here's the problem. Uh, we
all got together for my future mother in law sons graduation.
See it's just too many people, see you, you and
your counseling efforts. You're trying to sow too many people together.
All you really need to be worried about is you
and your fiance. But no, no, no, you all off
(09:25):
of in the fiance business, the fiance, mama b business,
the ex husband's business. If you were just focused on
you and your fiance. But oh no, you super counselor
you know, went to school, you trik you other time
they got that degree?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
You think you really think that degree is for this?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Here?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
That's what you say? Now?
Speaker 3 (09:49):
What now?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
One of these situations a case study. When you was
getting a little counseling degree, you didn't run.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Into this old black people case study digit.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
This a new wor.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
So now you're sitting up in here and you at
your future mother in law sons graduation. I don't know
why my fiancees dad showed up, but he did. Her
husband stepped to him and said, it's not his son,
and he appreciated the graduation gift, but he ain't part
of the family. He all just stopped popping up because
(10:20):
it ain't your son. Don'gorry, why are you here? They
had words and it got loud. My fiance's dad finally
told the husband he gonna get his girl back no
matter what.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I done. Whooped his actic graduation. Now, now guess what
the counselor did.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
I recorded the altercation on my phone because I was
recording the graduation.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Yeah, girl, you could have stopped.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
You was recording the graduation. Why did you turn the
camera on the altercation? So then I gave the video
to my future mother in law, you know, because you
did say y'all close, and she used a video to
get a restraint in order or my fiance's father saying
that he's a threat. My fiance say and his dad
(11:09):
are furious with me. I did not intend for this
to happen. All I did was share the video. Why
because you counseling, you taking pictures of the counseling. You
gonna marry the boy You're trying to stay in good
with the mother. That's all I did was share the video.
You're forty two. You shared the video. Now she used
(11:33):
it as evidence. How's this my fault? And how do
I fix it? Wait a minute, hold on, counselor, you said,
how's this my fault? And how do I fix it?
If it wasn't your fault, you wouldn't be trying to
fix it. So how's this fault? Because you and other
people's business? Come on, because you so busy being in
(11:56):
other people's business instead of the business gathering a future.
What that little boy you got? Now him and his
daddy mad at you because you don't They done broke
the cardinal rule in the black family. You do not
call the police. I don't care what we do at
this house. You gonna call the police. And got a
(12:20):
restraining order on this dude. But now he comfortable enough
to come to your son's graduation with your husband and
tell your husband he gonna.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Get you back? How the end at this today? You're
finna get who back?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Though, Now I'm gonna show you what you finish get
but no, no, no no, you finna get back, but
you ain't finna get her back.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
They don't want to be fighting at the graduation though.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
She recorded it because she messy. She messy? Now how
is this my fault? And how do I fix it?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Yeah? I don't care how you fix it? Stay out
of folk business. You ain't to counselor you thought you was.
You're a college graduate counselor. You can't counsel real situations.
You have to read the stuff that's in them books. Now,
(13:14):
this man won't his woman back, That ain't his woman?
And now what was that at the school? Did they
teach you that?
Speaker 3 (13:21):
All right? Thank you?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Please leave your comments on today's letter on Instagram at
Steve Harvey FM, and please check out the Strawberry Letter
podcast on demand.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Okay, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com by
clicking by clicking submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, and we could
be reading your letter live on the air, just like
we're going to read this one right here, right now,
and you never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Thank you, nephew.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Subject the men in my fiance's family. Dear Stephen Shirley.
I'm engaged to a man that is eleven years my junior.
I'm forty two years old, and he jokes that his
father is only six years older than I am. It's
odd that I was attracted to him because I met
him with his dad and his dad was laying it
on thick. I was drawn to my fiance because he
(00:50):
was cool and laid back. I am very close to
my fiance's mother, and she has two sons by her husband.
When we're all together, my fiance and his two younger brothers,
we're a big, happy family. When his dad joins into
the mixed drama occurs. He and my fiance's mother have
been at odds for years because he didn't want to
(01:13):
be with her, simple as that they had my fiance
when they were in high school and broke up when.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
My fiance was ten years old.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Hey, stuff happens, but now he wants that old thing
back and she's not having it. My background is in counseling,
so I try to mediate their arguments, but they.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Get pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Over the weekend, we all got together for my future
mother in law sons graduation and I don't know why
my fiance's dad.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Showed up, but he did.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Her husband stepped to him and said it's not his son,
and he appreciates, appreciated the graduation gift, but he isn't
part of the family and should stop popping up. They
have words and it got loud, and my fiance's dad
told the husband that he was going to get his
girl back no matter what. I recorded the altercation on
(02:09):
my phone because I was recording the graduation. I gave
the video to my future mother in law and she
used the video to get a restraining order on my
fiance's father, saying he's a threat. My fiance and his
dad are furious with me. I did not intend for
this to happen. All I did was share the video.
(02:29):
How is this my fault and how do I fix it? Wow? Well,
it isn't your fault. I agree with you, and don't
take the blame for this. This is his dad's fault.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Period. You did nothing wrong.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Like you said, you were already filming the graduation. Who
knew your fiance's dad was coming and was going to
act a fool and something was going to.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Jump off like this.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
It would have been on tape anyway. And I am
concerned because it's dad has a nerve to be mad
at you for his bad behavior. He wasn't invited to
the graduation, and you said every time he comes around
the family, it's a problem.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Some drama occurs.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Not only that he's disrespecting the husband in his face
by saying he's trying to get his girl back.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
It's not his girl.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Remember he didn't want her, according to you, so she
moved on and got married, and now he can't handle it.
I know he's mad that his son got you over him,
and he missed out on you too, So his son,
your fiance is in an awkward position.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
He probably feels torn, feels guilty for being with you,
knowing his dad was trying so hard to get you,
and his dad has guilted him into being on his side.
This is a mess. Both the son and his father
are mad at you. The son is your fiance.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
I don't really know. Try to talk to your fiance
or something like that. I don't know if it's gonna help,
because it seems right now now that his loyalty is
to his dad. Maybe he'll get over it when it
simmers down a little bit, But I don't know, because
this really really is a mess.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Steve, Well, you know, I see a lot of problems
in this letter, and as I read this letter, I'm
gonna point out to you what I think are the
real problems. Okay, this woman says, I'm engaged to a
man that's eleven years my junior.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
He's forty two. That makes her fifty three.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Now she's forty two.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
She's forty two. So this dude is what thirty.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
One, thirty one, thirty one, and the.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Ninety is forty eight and her daddy, the daddy is
forty eight.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay, now, here's the problem.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
You're engaged to this man that's eleven years your junior
and you at forty two, and his father's sixt year
old than nine, which makes him forty eight.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
It's odd. Here's the letter.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
It's odd that I was attracted to him because I
met him with his dad, and his dad was laying
it on thick. Here's your problem. Here's one of the problems, tod.
Daddy was laying it on thick when he met you.
(05:25):
You were attracted to the boy, see Nain, Now.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
We got the problem.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Then you said I was drawn to my fiance because
he was cool and laid back. I'm very close to
my fiancees mother. See this story just takes a big jump.
Now she's very close to the fiance's mother, and she's
got two sons by her husband.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Well, we all.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Together, my fiance and his two younger brothers, we're a big,
happy family. When the dad joins into the mixed drama occurs.
He and my fiance's mother have been at odd for
years because he didn't want to be with her. Simple
as that they had my fiance when they were in
high school and broke up. And when my fiance was
ten years old, broke up with my fiance with tzoh hey,
(06:17):
stuff happens, but now he wants that old thing back
and he's not having it.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Here's your problem.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
My background is in counselor, so I try to mediate
their arguments, but they get pretty bad over the weekend.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
That go your other problem right there, you trying to
counsel be.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
When I come back, I'm gonna tell you all about
your little counselor eskapeion here why you'll need to get out.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Of the counselor be.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes to have to be
our today's Strawberry Letters subject the men and my fiance family.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
For most people, well, saving up a down payment can
be the biggest barrier to buy a home. That's why
Rocket Mortgage is lowering down payments to one percent for
eligible home buyers with one plus. You heard that right,
one percent down on the home with one plus from
Rocket Mortgage. You put down one percent, Rocket covers an
additional two percent, and.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
You're off to the races.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
Call eight hundred four Rocket or visit rocket dot com
to see how you can get a head start on
your starter home. Rocket Mortgage LLC licensed in fifty states
in MLS, Consumer Access dot Org number thirty thirty.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The men in my fiance's family is the subject.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
This lady forty two years old and fiance is thirty one.
He joked that she's six years closer to her daddy
age he forty. They met together. He hit on her,
He hit the daddy hit on her. She liked the
boy better, you know, so nine ay together, fast forward.
They got She got a great relationship with her fiance's mother.
(07:59):
She got two sons from another marriage. They had her
fiance when he was ten. They was in high school.
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Blah blah blah.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
That don't even matter. Here go your problem right here.
First of all, the daddy hit on you when y'all
first met. It didn't work out. Second problem is, my
background is in counseling, so I try to mediate they arguments,
but they get pretty bad. Now, how are you gonna
(08:27):
mediate they arguments? When he was hitting on you. How
does that work? What everything he do is gonna be
a flex move in front of you? And how are
you mediating old people arguments? You know how old people arguing?
Now you're all in the middle of that. You shut up,
you shut up. I ain't gotta shutf ain't got shut over.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
I don't want to.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Well, then you need to get the walk to the
old argument. What what have I ever shut up before?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
See how you counsel that?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
All?
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Right, now let's move on. Here's the problem. Uh, we
all got together for my future mother in law sons graduation.
See it's just too many people, see you, you and
your counseling efforts. You're trying to sow too many people together.
All you really need to be worried about is you
and your fiance. But no, no, no, you all off
(09:25):
of in the fiance business, the fiance, mama b business,
the ex husband's business. If you were just focused on
you and your fiance. But oh no, you super counselor
you know, went to school, you trik you other time
they got that degree?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
You think you really think that degree is for this?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Here?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
That's what you say? Now?
Speaker 3 (09:49):
What now?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
One of these situations a case study. When you was
getting a little counseling degree, you didn't run.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Into this old black people case study digit.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
This a new wor.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
So now you're sitting up in here and you at
your future mother in law sons graduation. I don't know
why my fiancees dad showed up, but he did. Her
husband stepped to him and said, it's not his son,
and he appreciated the graduation gift, but he ain't part
of the family. He all just stopped popping up because
(10:20):
it ain't your son. Don'gorry, why are you here? They
had words and it got loud. My fiance's dad finally
told the husband he gonna get his girl back no
matter what.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I done. Whooped his actic graduation. Now, now guess what
the counselor did.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
I recorded the altercation on my phone because I was
recording the graduation.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Yeah, girl, you could have stopped.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
You was recording the graduation. Why did you turn the
camera on the altercation? So then I gave the video
to my future mother in law, you know, because you
did say y'all close, and she used a video to
get a restraint in order or my fiance's father saying
that he's a threat. My fiance say and his dad
(11:09):
are furious with me. I did not intend for this
to happen. All I did was share the video. Why
because you counseling, you taking pictures of the counseling. You
gonna marry the boy You're trying to stay in good
with the mother. That's all I did was share the video.
You're forty two. You shared the video. Now she used
(11:33):
it as evidence. How's this my fault? And how do
I fix it? Wait a minute, hold on, counselor, you said,
how's this my fault? And how do I fix it?
If it wasn't your fault, you wouldn't be trying to
fix it. So how's this fault? Because you and other
people's business? Come on, because you so busy being in
(11:56):
other people's business instead of the business gathering a future.
What that little boy you got? Now him and his
daddy mad at you because you don't They done broke
the cardinal rule in the black family. You do not
call the police. I don't care what we do at
this house. You gonna call the police. And got a
(12:20):
restraining order on this dude. But now he comfortable enough
to come to your son's graduation with your husband and
tell your husband he gonna.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Get you back? How the end at this today? You're
finna get who back?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Though, Now I'm gonna show you what you finish get
but no, no, no no, you finna get back, but
you ain't finna get her back.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
They don't want to be fighting at the graduation though.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
She recorded it because she messy. She messy? Now how
is this my fault? And how do I fix it?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Yeah? I don't care how you fix it? Stay out
of folk business. You ain't to counselor you thought you was.
You're a college graduate counselor. You can't counsel real situations.
You have to read the stuff that's in them books. Now,
(13:14):
this man won't his woman back, That ain't his woman?
And now what was that at the school? Did they
teach you that?
Speaker 3 (13:21):
All right? Thank you?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Please leave your comments on today's letter on Instagram at
Steve Harvey FM, and please check out the Strawberry Letter
podcast on demand.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Okay, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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