Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter at STEVEARBFM dot com by
clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is a strawberry
Let up.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
All right, nephew, thank you. Subject. There's one little problem
in our relationship. There's one little problem in our relationship here,
Stephen Shirley. My boyfriend is an older man, and he
said he wants to get married. But there are a
few little things that I can't live with. I hate
his rough toenails and his fiery breath, and he talks
(00:48):
in his sleep. But here's an even here's an even
smaller issue that bothers me the most. He's the smallest
man I've ever been with. Before I moved in with him,
I was having said with my ex boyfriend often to
satisfy my sexual needs. Now that my new boyfriend and
I live together, I don't have much freedom, so cheating
(01:09):
is out of the question. My friends say that I'm
ungrateful because my boyfriend is retired and rich and he
worships the ground I walk on. I'm only thirty six
years old and I work full time, so it's not
about the money. But I do like the perks of
dating him. I've tried a lot of things in the
bedroom to try to make up for him being so small,
(01:29):
but nothing has worked. He's twenty three years older than
I am, so I'm sure he's doing the best he can.
He showers me with stinky kisses and he thinks he's
being sweet, but I go wash my face and neck
when he puts his mouth on me. The last time
that we were intimate, he whispered that he's going to
ask me to marry him one day soon and buy
(01:50):
me a big boat. As soon as my eyes stopped burning,
I realized what he said. I want the lavish lifestyle,
so I need to figure out creative ways to make
the sex better with him, especially since I've cut off
my ex with the good sex, I realize that size
really does matter. How do I tell my boyfriend that
(02:11):
he's too small for me? When there's nothing he can
do about it. Is it foolish he can to think
that I can be happy with this man. I think
this whole situation is foolish, really, And no, I don't
think you should tell him that because you're not going
to be able to fake it much longer anyway. You say,
he's smaller than any man you've ever been with. You're
(02:31):
not happy period. All you did was complain about him
throughout the letter. You complain about his hot breath, his
rough toenails, and his small size. I mean, two of
those things can be fixed, but his size is his size.
So I don't think you changing. I just don't see
you suddenly changing and falling in love with him anytime soon.
(02:54):
If there's anything redeeming about you in this letter, it's
just that you stop sleeping with your ex when you
moved in with your new man, because you said, you
know you don't have as much freedom, but you're not
invested in this relationship. You're not invested in this older
man because all you want is the money and the
lavish lifestyle. That's what you called it, and that's what
(03:14):
you said, so listen. If you don't want this man
for who he is small and all I just say,
don't use him, leave him, Let this man go, Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
There's one little problem in our relationship. No it's not.
It's a whole lot wrong.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
The whole letter you complain in the entire letter, is
not one little problem in our relationship. Now, your boyfriend,
you say, is an older man and he wants to
get married. But then you say, there's some things you
can't live with. Number one, you hate his rough toenails.
You could fix that, and his fiery breath and he talks.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
In his sleep. Now you can fix the toenails under breath.
You can't.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
You got to get your man to a dentist see
if he got ginger vitis or something.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
And you gotta get all this decay.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
You gotta get that tart out between his teeth because
it's holding it's holding on to funk because his breath,
don't think is firing.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Now it don't stop there he talking his sleep. You
deal with that.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
But there's an even smaller issues that bothers me. He's
the smallest man I ever been with. What bothers me
the most, He's the smallest man I ever been with.
You was having a sex with your ex boyfriend often
just to satisfy your needs. Well, now that your new
boyfriend and I live together, See, lady, I don't know
if you think we're not listening. Y'all now live together,
(04:46):
I don't have much freedom, so cheating is out of
the question. Then your friends say that you're ungrateful because
your boyfriend is retired and rich and he worships the
ground I walk in. Well, I'm only thirty six and
I work full time, so it's not about the money.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
That's a lie.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Right you said, I work full time, so it's not
about the money. Then right after that, you said, but
I do like the perks of dating him. Lady, you
have tried a lot of things in the bedroom, try
(05:23):
to make up from him being small, but it's nothing work.
He's twenty three years older than me. That means he's
fifty nine. I'm also sure he's doing the best he can.
Then here we go with the complaining again. He showers
me with stinky kisses. He thinks he's being sweet, But
I go wash my face and neck when he puts
his mouth on me.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
What every time he.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Kissed you on the face and neck, you gotta go
wash your face and neck.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
You ain't thought enough to get your man and go.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Listen, baby, we got to clip these toenails. We're gonna
get a pedicule.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
He rich.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
He got money, and we're gonna get something done with
these teeth in your head because you've got to fix
your breath. If you fix them, two things you can be.
And then I have some more news for you to uh.
The last time we were intimate, he whispered that he's
gonna ask me to marry him one day and buy
me a big boat. As soon as my eyes stopped burning,
(06:22):
I really now, lady, he must have been right up
on your talk, she said. As soon as my eyes stopped.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Burning, I realized what he said. We'll be right back there.
I going to tell you the whole truth and nothing. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
We'll have part two of Steve's response coming up at
twenty three minutes to after the hour today Strawberry letter subject,
there's one little problem in our relationship. We'll get back
into it right after this. You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
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(07:21):
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Speaker 1 (07:30):
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject, there's one little problem in our relationship.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Well, let me see if I can capsize this for
you real quick.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
This woman has lied through this entire that's one little
thing wrong in our relationship.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
No, it's not. It's a whole lot of stuff. He's
fifty nine, she thirty six.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
He's older. She don't like his toenails, they rough. His
breath is fivey. If she kisses him on her face
and neck, she got to go wash her face and neck.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Every time, every time. Well what is in his mouth? Now?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
You can fix these toenails with pedicures, and you can
fix this breath. You got to get him to a
Dennist get all that tart out between his mouth, get
it straightened out, get some dinner, work right here and
find out what's going on. And then I don't know
what that or that mouth washed. She is doctor something.
It's yellow, and you're supposed to uh, doctor titian doctor titianus,
(08:32):
and you're supposed to put water with it. Just make
him take here straight. Don't let him put no water
in here. You just put two cap fools in his
mouth and make him.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Holy.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
I trust me, whatever in there, whatever in there, at
least for five minutes, gonna go away, all right. You
can fix that right here. But then you say, he's
the smallest man you've ever been with, and you don't
know what to do about that, and you've tried everything,
but nothing is working. And the last time we were
into and he whispered that he was gonna ask me
(09:02):
to marry him one day and buy me a big boat.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Then she said the best line in the letter.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
As soon as my eyes stopped burning, I realized what
he's said.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
God t.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
He was talking to you, and you said, after my
eyes stopped burning, I realized what he said.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
You gotta get his mouth fixed. Then she said, I
realized what he said.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I want the leavish lifestyle, so I need to figure
out creative ways to make the sex better. I thought
you just said up in the letter it wasn't about
the money. Then you said I like the perks. Then
you said I like the leavish lifestyle. That's why you
moved in with the man and ignored all this. But
you didn't move in to make the man better. You
moved in to make your life better, and now you
(09:48):
don't found out it to come with a cost. He
ain't got no jack on him, he can't. His toenails
just rough. His breath is fiery. So now I realize
the size really does matter. How do I tell my
boyfriend he's too small for me? And then there's nothing
he could do about it? Is it foolish to think
(10:10):
I could be happy with this man? First of all,
you're not happy with this man, but there is something
he can do. What urologists now, ladies and gentlemen, in
case you don't know, there are urologists who have specialized
in the male anatomy. You now can go get yourself lengthened.
(10:35):
You can now go get yourself thicking. They have consultations
set up where you could take your mate down there
and discuss about the size and the length they doing.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
All that now, Yeah, all that's happening now.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
You know, if you just wonder if what they call
it is, I can say this on the radio, they
call it no color.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Looking at me crazy.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
You can go to eurologists now and ask them that
they have people who specialize in uh, let's say, organ cosmatology.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's not what it's called. Huh.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
If women can get their breasts done and you know,
and large and all that.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Yeah, yeah they got that now. Dogs y'all going out there.
All y'all have been struggling with it. Noticed, I said,
all y'all. Yeah, but if hale at sixty ain't strong
with heart.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
So anyway, to the dentists, the pediatrist, and the urologist.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Yeah, you need to go down there, but you but
most important, you have got to get to that dentist
because if your eyes is burning just from a conversation,
it's gonna be.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
That's hard to talk to somebody, lash, no brow, none
of that.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
I got a partner man I was talking to came
down to my ranch. When we was talking, he was fishing,
and something happened to his real and he said, one love,
can you help me?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Mad?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Because then I straightened the real nun. So I went
over there and I was talked to him and I
was trying to show him. I said, see right here,
and he bent down by my face and then he said, oh,
that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
What happened.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
He didn't say any h words.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Like that. He ain't say nothing. He said, oh, dog,
that's what that was.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
So what happened?
Speaker 3 (12:27):
And I turned and looked at him. I was looking
at his mouth because I kept staring at his mouth.
I figure out what happened? What did it make for
breakfast this morning? What did you because the rest of
us had eggs and biscuits? Where did you tryd to
dead raccoon?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
At that?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
You put something dead?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah, so there are things you could do, ma'am, but
you in it for the wrong reasons. You in it
to make your life better without improving the man. Most
women are good women that will get with a man
and improve a man. Fix him up, prep him up,
straighten him up. You know, fix your elbows. Baby. Don't
wear them shoes no more. I don't like them suits.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
You know, get your hair done this way, brush your teeth,
take that mustache off, Quit wearing that little patchy beerd
just just go clean. Women will fix you up. A
good woman can make a man better. You need to
try to be a good woman.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
That's it. Or leave him alont he gonna ask you
to marry him as soon as your eyes get.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Through burning to answer, you just burn my face, all right.
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