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May 1, 2025 14 mins

Dear Steve and Shirley, I've been married for two years, and I'm 25 years old. My husband is 26, and he pursued me heavily until I let him take me out. We had a great first date and he told me that he loved me. I fell for him really quick and we got married in no time. He lived out in the suburbs and I had an apartment downtown. So he stayed with me mostly before we got married. Right before the wedding, I moved in with him, and I met three other married couples in his neighborhood. They were all professional men, and they loved to golf, mainly because it was a status thing for them. And I asked my fiancee at the time why he never mentioned these friends. And he said they're his neighborhood friends. And he didn't really hang out with them because he was single. I got upset and asked him if he was rushing into marriage to fit in. He said, absolutely not, and I did not nag him about it. Fast forward to present day and we've been married for two years. My husband thinks it's okay to hang out with his neighborhood friends every Friday and Saturday night. It's fine if they're in the backyard or in one of their man caves, but they like to go to the city to hang out. I'm the only wife in the group that has a problem with it. One of the wives told me that as soon as I start getting tired of my husband, I will look forward to him hanging out at night. My husband said that I'm making us look bad as a unit because I'm always calling around complaining about him being out. I don't like that they let their husbands do whatever they want to do, and I hope it doesn't rub off on my husband....

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, Pa, Pa, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now. Could be
right now.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tighte. We got it full
you here it is the Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Thank you. You sounded a little like Don Cornelius this morning,
All right, Thank you. Nephew's subject they let their husbands
run wild. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married for two
years and I'm twenty five years old. My husband is
twenty six, and he pursued me heavily until I let
him take me out. We had a great first date

(00:48):
and he told me that he loved me. I fell
for him really quick, and we got married in no time.
He lived out in the suburbs and I had an
apartment downtown, so he stayed with me mostly before we
got married. Right before the wedding, I moved in with him,
and I met three other married couples in his neighborhood.
They were all professional men, and they loved to golf,

(01:11):
mainly because it was a status thing for them. And
I asked my fiance at the time why he never
mentioned these friends, and he said they're his neighborhood friends
and he didn't really hang out with them because he
was single. I got upset and asked him if he
was rushing into marriage to fit in. He said absolutely not,
and I did not nag him about it. Fast forward

(01:33):
to present day and we've been married for two years.
My husband thinks it's okay to hang out with his
neighborhood friends every Friday and Saturday night. It's fine if
they're in the backyard or in one of their man caves,
but they like to go to the city to hang out.
I'm the only wife in the group that has a
problem with it. One of the wives told me that

(01:54):
as soon as I start getting tired of my husband,
I will look forward to him hanging out at night.
My husband said that I'm making us look bad as
a unit because I'm always calling around complaining about him
being out. I don't like that they let their husbands
do whatever they want to do, and I hope it
doesn't rough off on my husband. He's not a big drinker,
but now he's buying liquor and building up his bar

(02:17):
to show off to his friends. Is there any way
to keep my husband at home? Well, you could lock
the bedroom door and throw away the key, you know,
keep them in there. But of course you're not going
to do that. I just think this thing started from
the very beginning. I mean, you guys went really fast.
I mean, to begin with, you said he told you

(02:39):
he loved you on the first date. That was quick,
very quick. So now that you've been married for two
years at twenty eight, he'd rather hang out with his
boys on the weekend. At twenty eight, that just seems
rather odd. It seems like you guys would still be
honeymooning getting it in at this age. He's twenty eight,
now you're twenty seven. I do think it's something to

(03:01):
him rushing to fit in with the rest of his
suburban friends. You mentioned that he denies it, but there
is something to that. He is trying to impress him.
You mentioned the liquor. He's trying to build up his bar,
and he doesn't even drink all that. I mean, they
do the same things together, leaving their wives at home
when they go to the city and your husband, I

(03:23):
don't know. I think you guys need to work out
some sort of compromise if you want to stay together,
because you, guys, at the rate you're going, you might
end up in divorce court. I mean, you got to
schedule some date nights. You got to work on your marriage.
Stop calling around looking for him because he doesn't like that.
Stop talking to these other messy wives who seem bitter.
They don't even like their husband husbands at this point,

(03:46):
they said, you know, when he starts getting on your nerves,
you'll be happy. All of that. You don't want to
hear that you need to work on your marriage. If
that's what you want, you know, let him know how
you feel, don't you know that doesn't require an argument
or anything like that. I mean, if he doesn't want
to try to fix it, then you know where you stand.
Your marriage is in trouble, and you guys are young.

(04:08):
You know you're gonna come up against some hurdles. You
might want to consider counseling at least something to try
and keep your marriage together. But first, you know, let
him know how you feel. Communicate stee great response.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Really, I'm stuck on this letter in a couple of ways,
because there's so many things wrong here, young sister. I
hate to tell you that, but all right, here goes
uncle Steve. Let me try to help you out. They
let their husbands run wild. Let okay, we'll get into
that in a minute. You've been married for two years.

(04:40):
You're twenty five years old, your husband twenty six. Now
this is young. Now, this is young to be married.
I just want to tell you that right off the dribble,
we had a great first He pursued you heavily until
you let him take you out. You had a great
first date. He told me that he loved me. I
fell for him really quickly, and we got married. It
didn't no time. Pump your brakes stop. Here is the

(05:04):
whole problem in this whole letter is wrapped up in
that statement right there. I fell for him really quickly
and we got married in no time. Well, that's the
whole problem. You did not take the time to know
the score. You did not take the time to read

(05:25):
the book. You did not take the time to go
over the chapters. You just jumped into it. Anybody that's
married will tell you marriage is a challenge it's beautiful,
but Lord, have mercy.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
It's a challenge.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
And you didn't even have enough information about your mate
going in.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Now. He lived out in the suburbs.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
You had an apartment downtown, so he stayed with you
most of the time before you got married, right before
the wedd and I moved in with him. That's out
in the suburbs. I met three other married was in
his neighborhood. They were all professional men. They loved to golf,
mainly because it's the status thing for them. And I
asked my fiance why he never mentioned these friends, and
he said, they're his neighborhood friends.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
And he didn't really hang out with him because he
was single right there, right there.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
And you know why he didn't hang out with him,
because as married people, they weren't doing the things that
he was doing as a single man.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
You got that.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
When we come back, the rest of it will get
unfolded right in front of you. Hope you enjoy it,
and please stay together after my response, it's not over.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
It's just troublesome, all right, Steve.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter, subject
they let their husbands run wild. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Save Harvey Morning Show.
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(07:27):
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All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject they let their husbands run wild.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Yeah, they do. They let their husbands run wild. Now
you're twenty five, you'd have married this man twenty six.
You got married really quick. You got married in no time.
According to the letter, he lives out in the suburbs.
They spend all the time downtown with you in your apartment.
When you all got married, you discovered he had three
friends out there in the suburbs who all married. You

(08:00):
wanted to know why he didn't tell you about him.
He said, because they didn't hang out because he was
single and they were married. Like I said in the beginning,
when you get married in no time, you don't know
the whole story. You can't get a better picture of
the view of the picture. You haven't read the book,
you don't have enough information. So now this is gonna

(08:22):
come back to bite you. Now, he didn't really hang
out there because he was single. So then you got
upset and you asked him if he was rushing into
marriage to fit in. He said, no, absolutely not, and
so you didn't nag him about it.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Fast forward to present day.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Now we're talking two years now, two years in past now,
and my husband thinks it's okay to hang out with
his neighborhood friends every Friday and Saturday night.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
Now, part of this is because of two things. One,
his friends have been married for a while. Now I
guarantee you those three friends are a little older than
he is.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
And also this has something to do with youth.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
To want to hang out with your boys every Friday
and every Saturday. I get to hang out with my
main boys twice a year. Twice a year. It's when
I get to hang out with my boys. All twelve
of us get together, and it's twice a year.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
That's it.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
Now it's been twice this year because the funerals sad
to say, but that's how long we've been friends. Now
we hang it out.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
You hang it.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
Out twice a week every Friday and Saturday. And if
you like it, okay, if they in the backyard on
you and one of their man caves. But then they
like to go to the sea to hang out. Now
you're the only wife in the group that's got a
problem with it. One of the wives told me, as
soon as I start getting tired of my husband, I

(10:08):
would look forward to him hanging out at night.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
See.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
So obviously they've been married longer than two years. They've
been married for a while, and this is the feeling
that she has. My husband said that you're making us
look bad as a unit.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
That's funny right there, when the dude told.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
Her, you're making us bad as a unit by complaining
to the other wives because you're the only one complaining. Well,
the unit dog is a marriage that's a little bit
more important than a unit. There is an office space downtown.
A unit is a collection of coworkers. You all are
a unit. No, No, this is a marriage. It's very different.

(10:50):
I don't like that they let they husbands do whatever
they want to do. And I hope it don't rub
off on my husband. I don't know what you're hoping
against it already. Does he hang out every Friday and Saturday?
You hope it don't rub off on your husband? It
done rubbed. He with them every Friday Saturday. Ain't there
with the letter folk, It done rubbed. He's not a

(11:14):
big drinking now, but he's buying, looking, building up his
body to show off to his friends. Well that's good
because the bars at the house see, you're getting him
closer to home.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
And they're gonna be drunk, but they all gonna be.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
Closer to home. Is there any way to keep my
husband at home? Well, there is a way to keep
your husband at home. But let me tell you what's
happening right here. The reason they go out every night,
every Friday, and every sight because what's out there in
them streets is more exciting than what's happening at home.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
Period. This is a fact.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
If your husband is gone every Friday and every Saturday,
I'm assuming y'all been at work Monday through Friday, and
all of them get together every Friday night and every
Saturday night. It's because they're blowing off steam from the workweek,
and they're blowing off the steam without their wives. Something
is happening out there in them streets. That's more exciting.

(12:15):
That's what's happening at home. Whatever happened to date night,
it would seem to me like, since all y'all are friends,
it would seem to me like as couples, y'all would
get together, and it'll be one couple's responsibility to host
an event at their house or plan the.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
Date night for you all.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
So if if guys did a Friday night, everything would
be cool. If the ladies and everybody got Saturday night.
You ever seen a mob movie. You ever seen a
mob movie? Even the Mob movie, they had a night
with their family, but then they had a night where
their girlfriends all met down at the cabana or the
cotton club. Even gangsters know, you got to take care

(13:00):
your family. These folk foods and got together on the
weekends and decide it ain't no damn family. That's about
Its dumb. Even they do that in a Gangster movie.
You got a night for the girlfriend, you got a
night for the wives. Y'all. Both day nights is shot,
y'all stupid. Y'all need a date night. Y'all need a

(13:20):
couple's night out. So y'all can save y'all's marriage. Because
I'm gonna tell you right now, just continue every Friday
and every Saturday.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
You can't stay married like that. I don't care who
you are, all right.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
We're moving on. Most your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter
at Steve Harvey on Instagram, Steve Harvey FM on Instagram
and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast. Please,
that's sound demand. What's going on? This is your boy
Kevin Hart. This is Erica Baidu, This is Dave Chappelle.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
Yo, what's up? This is ice que I can't call it.
This your man Cedric the entertainer.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
And you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
That my doubt.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show, your one
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Host

Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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