April 7, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a 48 year old married woman and I’ve been married since I was 22 years old. My husband is 3 years my senior and he swept me off my feet right after I finished college. I had 3 kids for him and they are grown. We travel together and we enjoy life as much as possible, but I wish my husband was a little more involved in the church than he is....................................
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM and click submit
Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live on
the air, just like we're going to read this one
right here, right now, and you never know, it could
be yours. It could be yours. Buckle up and hold
(00:22):
on tight. We got it for you here. It is
Strawberry Letter, subject Dotting Thursday. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a
forty eight year old married woman and I've been married
since I was twenty two years old. My husband is
three years my senior, and he swept me off my
feet right after I finished college. I had three kids
for him and they are grown. We traveled together and
(00:44):
we enjoy life as much as possible, but I wish
my husband was a little more involved in the church
than he is. We had our wild times and I
even smoked weed a few times. After I had my
last child. There's nothing left for me in the streets,
and I'm a homebody now. I want my husband at
home with me, but he's still out in the streets,
(01:05):
and I call it Thursday, and I call Thursdays stotting
Thursday because he bar hops with his friends that he's
known since high school every Thursday night. I thought we
were on the same spiritual journey for the past three
or four years, and I had high hopes that he
would stop going to the club. But he has not.
He has no problem going to Bible study one night,
(01:26):
then drinking and smoking hookah in the club the next night.
He doesn't even come home from work on Thursdays. He
heads over to Happy Hour and eats dinner, then he
goes to a ghetto bar and lounge, where he stays
until it closes. He comes in smelling like sweat and
weed mixed with cologne, and he climbs in the bed
with me and I have to fight him off of
(01:46):
me until he falls asleep. I told him, if he
keeps choosing the club over me and his faith, he
should stop pretending to be saved. I begged him to
go to counseling at church with me, but he doesn't
think he's got a problem. I am so worried that
a female thought might tempt him into doing something he's
not ready for. I feel like my husband and my
(02:07):
marriage might be slipping away. How can I keep my
husband out of the streets. Well, I mean, quite frankly,
I don't know that you can keep him out of
the streets. I mean, he has to want that, and
he does want it for six nights of the week.
I mean, your only issue is Thursday that you talk about.
The problem is you want your husband to do like
(02:29):
you and be a homebody like you, and be at
home and go on your same spiritual journey. You want
him to do that every day all day. But don't
you think he needs some time to himself as his wife.
I mean, he's not the homebody you are. It's not
like you know you don't know his every move on
(02:50):
Thursday nights because you told us all of it, about
the hookah and his high school friends, all of that.
I mean, I agree, he probably does smell like smoke,
weed and cologne if he's been out all night, so
he probably does need to get his butt in the
shower before joining you in bed. But really, I think
what you need to do is relaxed and let this
(03:11):
man have a little fun one night of the week.
You gotta stop nagging him even goes to Bible study
one of those nights. Not a lot of husbands will
do that. I think maybe you need to start getting
out more, and you know, stop nagging your husband about this.
I mean, you didn't say that he treats you badly
or anything like this. You just say he goes to
(03:31):
the club on Thursday nights. Come on, lady, come on, now,
that's not so bad, Steve, I must say, silly. I
am completely amazed at your response. Oh my god, the
growth in you as a woman, and I've watched it
after twenty two years, is absolutely phenomenal. I don't know
(03:57):
who this woman was reading this Strawberry let him this certain.
It's not the Shirley Strawer. This is my answer. This
is my answer. The Shelly Strawberry that I knew twenty
two years ago would have never responded to this twenty
two years Shirley twenty okay. But I'm just I'm complimenting
(04:21):
you on your growth. But you don't want it because
you are tight, because you think it's a criticism, but
it's not. But I just don't know the woman that
I'm doing the Strawberry letter with no more. We may
had to change the name of the letter from strawberry.
I don't know. Just the damn letter with her and me. Uh,
(04:45):
this is an amazing letter because I'm not really sure
if this woman understands what the problem is. You forty
eight years old, you've been married twenty six years um
to this man. You you ain't said, y'all had no problems.
He's three years older than you, he's fifty one. You
forty eight, Uh, didn't know. Your concern is I wish
(05:08):
my husband was a little more involved in the church
that he is. Okay, that's that's okay, that's fair. We
had our wild times and then here you go with
some information we don't need. You said, I even smoked
weed a few times after I had my last child,
the last wait that long started trying weed for anyway,
That ain't my business. But you made it man, because
(05:29):
you put it in the letter. Had nothing left for
me in the streets, and I'm a home body now
and I want my husband home with me. Well, see,
here's the problem. You made a change that your husband
wasn't quite in line with. Y'all didn't discuss we're gonna
stop going out in the streets. You decided you hadn't
(05:54):
had enough. He didn't, and now you calling Thursdays foughting. Third,
you got a husband that's fifty one years old that
Bob hops with his friends that he's known since high
school every Thursday night. That right there, in itself is
a little crazy because at fifty one you still bar hopping.
(06:16):
That's a little odd to me. That's fifty one. I
don't know when bab hopping should stop. I'm thinking it
can't extend no where. What's the age limit for bar hopping? Tommy?
That is something? That is something, Yeah, and it references
to stuff like that. I go to Tommy Junior. You agree, yes,
(06:39):
about thirty seven, but I will give you up to forty.
All right, hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter, subject thotting Thursday. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Steve Harpy Morning Show.
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject thought Thursday. Well, we got a funny of
(07:02):
year old woman that's been married to her husband since
they was twenty two years old. He's fifty one, she's
forty eight, and they have children, and they used to
enjoy their little street life. But after her third child,
and she smoked a little weed. But now she's tired
of that and she's a home body. Nine. She wants
(07:23):
her husband to be at home with me, but he's
still out in the streets. And she calls him thoughting
Thursday because every Thursday he bob hopped with his friends.
That's known since high school, bob hopping at fifty one
and wad late in the game. You long in the tooth.
You this ain't this ain't what you do when you're
in the club, got your suit on. They don't even
(07:43):
wet suits the clubs. No moment. He ain't he out
of line? He out of pocket? Okay, And then she said,
I thought we were on the same spiritual journey for
the past three or four years. Where your thoughts wrong?
You thought he didn't think that, And so now I
(08:07):
had high hopes that he would stop going to the club,
but he has not. He has no problem going to
Bible study one night, then drinking and smoker. Who could
in the club the next night? Lady, that's really normal.
I don't know where the shock is for you. I
can't tell you the people that go to Bible study
(08:30):
choir rehearsal prap me but sad to get him. I
can't tell you the people that can't hardly get up
to attend service in the morning and get their roll
on to getting that choir because of what happened Saturday night.
So it ain't just your husband. Please don't stop thinking
(08:52):
because you went to Bible study one night, then drinking
a smoker who get in the club the next night.
He don't even come home from work on Thursdays. That nah,
here we go. He don't even come home. I ain't
even swinging by the house because he don't want to
hear your mouth. So he goes straight from he can't
wait to Thursday, him and his boy Thursday, Thursday bigger
(09:16):
this Saturday, Man, we're gonna go down. Hell man. He
head over the happy hour, he eat dinner, and then
he goes to a ghetto bar and a lounge where
he stays until it closed. Now, lady, I don't know,
I'm gonna save my answer for them. Anyway. He comes
(09:37):
in smelling like sweating weed mixed with cologne. He climbs
in the bed with me and I have to fight
him off until he falls asleep because he's coming home.
He drunk and he's still smoking. Wee, see you stopped
smoking weed. No, he kept smoking weed and he drinking
so heat, doing a infemine in a ball and he's
(10:00):
coming in the house with that mix. That's like when
people drank a tequila and Red Bull. Vodka and red
Bull that's an upper anna down. The red bull is
an anphetamine, means it amps you up. Red Bull amps
you up. The vodka is a depressant of ball bituate.
That's how you know the difference. Barbituates take you down.
(10:23):
A phetamines amps take you up. Now you to mix
the two. Now he coming there and his brain fall asleep.
I told him, if he keeps choosing the club over me,
I told him, if he keeps choosing the club over
me and his faith, he should stop pretending to be saved.
That's not an ultimatum. See, I was waiting on you
(10:45):
to say. If if he keeps choosing the club over
me and his faith, I'm leaving you said. I told him,
if he keeps choosing the club over me and his faith,
he should stop pretending to be saved. He he might
not be pretending to be saved. Hello, we are all
sinners saved by grace. Because you saved, don't mean you
(11:10):
don't sin. You know on a horle who you thinking
had his perfect life? He ain't. I begged him to
go to counseling that church with me, but he don't
think he got a problem. I'm so worried that a
female might tempt him into doing something he's not ready for.
What did you just say? Wait a minute, home, let
me back that lineup. I'm so worried that a female,
(11:35):
fought might tempt him into doing something he's not ready for.
What you mean he ain't ready for? And where do
you get this? I'm worried that a female might tempt him.
What you think happening at the club every Thursday? They
going down now for temptation. They going to that ghetto
(11:56):
club for lust. They're going down to that ghetto club
up to drink, get high. It ain't just dudes at
that club, lady. I'm just gonna be real with you
so you can stop all this. I'm wared that a
female thought might tempt him into doing something he ain't
ready for. Lady, I feel like my husband and my
(12:22):
marriage might be slipping away? How can I keep my
husband out of the streets. You can't. Your husband had
to want to come out of the streets, but he old,
or he don't even look good down there no more.
But I'll tell you what could show enough break it up.
I'm not saying you ought to do this, but if
you popped up down there after get old little rue
(12:44):
had a change everything that never be the same. I
don't suggest you do that because he he ain't gonna
he really ain't gonna like you. Then at least he
tried to climb in bed with you when he come
in on Thursday. If you go down, then he ain't
gonna cut you again. That's what damn show. Post your
comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM and
(13:05):
Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast
on demand now coming up at forty six minutes after
the album, got some sports talk from Junior. Right after this,
you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM and click submit
Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live on
the air, just like we're going to read this one
right here, right now, and you never know, it could
be yours. It could be yours. Buckle up and hold
(00:22):
on tight. We got it for you here. It is
Strawberry Letter, subject Dotting Thursday. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a
forty eight year old married woman and I've been married
since I was twenty two years old. My husband is
three years my senior, and he swept me off my
feet right after I finished college. I had three kids
for him and they are grown. We traveled together and
(00:44):
we enjoy life as much as possible, but I wish
my husband was a little more involved in the church
than he is. We had our wild times and I
even smoked weed a few times. After I had my
last child. There's nothing left for me in the streets,
and I'm a homebody now. I want my husband at
home with me, but he's still out in the streets,
(01:05):
and I call it Thursday, and I call Thursdays stotting
Thursday because he bar hops with his friends that he's
known since high school every Thursday night. I thought we
were on the same spiritual journey for the past three
or four years, and I had high hopes that he
would stop going to the club. But he has not.
He has no problem going to Bible study one night,
(01:26):
then drinking and smoking hookah in the club the next night.
He doesn't even come home from work on Thursdays. He
heads over to Happy Hour and eats dinner, then he
goes to a ghetto bar and lounge, where he stays
until it closes. He comes in smelling like sweat and
weed mixed with cologne, and he climbs in the bed
with me and I have to fight him off of
(01:46):
me until he falls asleep. I told him, if he
keeps choosing the club over me and his faith, he
should stop pretending to be saved. I begged him to
go to counseling at church with me, but he doesn't
think he's got a problem. I am so worried that
a female thought might tempt him into doing something he's
not ready for. I feel like my husband and my
(02:07):
marriage might be slipping away. How can I keep my
husband out of the streets. Well, I mean, quite frankly,
I don't know that you can keep him out of
the streets. I mean, he has to want that, and
he does want it for six nights of the week.
I mean, your only issue is Thursday that you talk about.
The problem is you want your husband to do like
(02:29):
you and be a homebody like you, and be at
home and go on your same spiritual journey. You want
him to do that every day all day. But don't
you think he needs some time to himself as his wife.
I mean, he's not the homebody you are. It's not
like you know you don't know his every move on
(02:50):
Thursday nights because you told us all of it, about
the hookah and his high school friends, all of that.
I mean, I agree, he probably does smell like smoke,
weed and cologne if he's been out all night, so
he probably does need to get his butt in the
shower before joining you in bed. But really, I think
what you need to do is relaxed and let this
(03:11):
man have a little fun one night of the week.
You gotta stop nagging him even goes to Bible study
one of those nights. Not a lot of husbands will
do that. I think maybe you need to start getting
out more, and you know, stop nagging your husband about this.
I mean, you didn't say that he treats you badly
or anything like this. You just say he goes to
(03:31):
the club on Thursday nights. Come on, lady, come on, now,
that's not so bad, Steve, I must say, silly. I
am completely amazed at your response. Oh my god, the
growth in you as a woman, and I've watched it
after twenty two years, is absolutely phenomenal. I don't know
(03:57):
who this woman was reading this Strawberry let him this certain.
It's not the Shirley Strawer. This is my answer. This
is my answer. The Shelly Strawberry that I knew twenty
two years ago would have never responded to this twenty
two years Shirley twenty okay. But I'm just I'm complimenting
(04:21):
you on your growth. But you don't want it because
you are tight, because you think it's a criticism, but
it's not. But I just don't know the woman that
I'm doing the Strawberry letter with no more. We may
had to change the name of the letter from strawberry.
I don't know. Just the damn letter with her and me. Uh,
(04:45):
this is an amazing letter because I'm not really sure
if this woman understands what the problem is. You forty
eight years old, you've been married twenty six years um
to this man. You you ain't said, y'all had no problems.
He's three years older than you, he's fifty one. You
forty eight, Uh, didn't know. Your concern is I wish
(05:08):
my husband was a little more involved in the church
that he is. Okay, that's that's okay, that's fair. We
had our wild times and then here you go with
some information we don't need. You said, I even smoked
weed a few times after I had my last child,
the last wait that long started trying weed for anyway,
That ain't my business. But you made it man, because
(05:29):
you put it in the letter. Had nothing left for
me in the streets, and I'm a home body now
and I want my husband home with me. Well, see,
here's the problem. You made a change that your husband
wasn't quite in line with. Y'all didn't discuss we're gonna
stop going out in the streets. You decided you hadn't
(05:54):
had enough. He didn't, and now you calling Thursdays foughting. Third,
you got a husband that's fifty one years old that
Bob hops with his friends that he's known since high
school every Thursday night. That right there, in itself is
a little crazy because at fifty one you still bar hopping.
(06:16):
That's a little odd to me. That's fifty one. I
don't know when bab hopping should stop. I'm thinking it
can't extend no where. What's the age limit for bar hopping? Tommy?
That is something? That is something, Yeah, and it references
to stuff like that. I go to Tommy Junior. You agree, yes,
(06:39):
about thirty seven, but I will give you up to forty.
All right, hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter, subject thotting Thursday. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Steve Harpy Morning Show.
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject thought Thursday. Well, we got a funny of
(07:02):
year old woman that's been married to her husband since
they was twenty two years old. He's fifty one, she's
forty eight, and they have children, and they used to
enjoy their little street life. But after her third child,
and she smoked a little weed. But now she's tired
of that and she's a home body. Nine. She wants
(07:23):
her husband to be at home with me, but he's
still out in the streets. And she calls him thoughting
Thursday because every Thursday he bob hopped with his friends.
That's known since high school, bob hopping at fifty one
and wad late in the game. You long in the tooth.
You this ain't this ain't what you do when you're
in the club, got your suit on. They don't even
(07:43):
wet suits the clubs. No moment. He ain't he out
of line? He out of pocket? Okay, And then she said,
I thought we were on the same spiritual journey for
the past three or four years. Where your thoughts wrong?
You thought he didn't think that, And so now I
(08:07):
had high hopes that he would stop going to the club,
but he has not. He has no problem going to
Bible study one night, then drinking and smoker. Who could
in the club the next night? Lady, that's really normal.
I don't know where the shock is for you. I
can't tell you the people that go to Bible study
(08:30):
choir rehearsal prap me but sad to get him. I
can't tell you the people that can't hardly get up
to attend service in the morning and get their roll
on to getting that choir because of what happened Saturday night.
So it ain't just your husband. Please don't stop thinking
(08:52):
because you went to Bible study one night, then drinking
a smoker who get in the club the next night.
He don't even come home from work on Thursdays. That nah,
here we go. He don't even come home. I ain't
even swinging by the house because he don't want to
hear your mouth. So he goes straight from he can't
wait to Thursday, him and his boy Thursday, Thursday bigger
(09:16):
this Saturday, Man, we're gonna go down. Hell man. He
head over the happy hour, he eat dinner, and then
he goes to a ghetto bar and a lounge where
he stays until it closed. Now, lady, I don't know,
I'm gonna save my answer for them. Anyway. He comes
(09:37):
in smelling like sweating weed mixed with cologne. He climbs
in the bed with me and I have to fight
him off until he falls asleep because he's coming home.
He drunk and he's still smoking. Wee, see you stopped
smoking weed. No, he kept smoking weed and he drinking
so heat, doing a infemine in a ball and he's
(10:00):
coming in the house with that mix. That's like when
people drank a tequila and Red Bull. Vodka and red
Bull that's an upper anna down. The red bull is
an anphetamine, means it amps you up. Red Bull amps
you up. The vodka is a depressant of ball bituate.
That's how you know the difference. Barbituates take you down.
(10:23):
A phetamines amps take you up. Now you to mix
the two. Now he coming there and his brain fall asleep.
I told him, if he keeps choosing the club over me,
I told him, if he keeps choosing the club over
me and his faith, he should stop pretending to be saved.
That's not an ultimatum. See, I was waiting on you
(10:45):
to say. If if he keeps choosing the club over
me and his faith, I'm leaving you said. I told him,
if he keeps choosing the club over me and his faith,
he should stop pretending to be saved. He he might
not be pretending to be saved. Hello, we are all
sinners saved by grace. Because you saved, don't mean you
(11:10):
don't sin. You know on a horle who you thinking
had his perfect life? He ain't. I begged him to
go to counseling that church with me, but he don't
think he got a problem. I'm so worried that a
female might tempt him into doing something he's not ready for.
What did you just say? Wait a minute, home, let
me back that lineup. I'm so worried that a female,
(11:35):
fought might tempt him into doing something he's not ready for.
What you mean he ain't ready for? And where do
you get this? I'm worried that a female might tempt him.
What you think happening at the club every Thursday? They
going down now for temptation. They going to that ghetto
(11:56):
club for lust. They're going down to that ghetto club
up to drink, get high. It ain't just dudes at
that club, lady. I'm just gonna be real with you
so you can stop all this. I'm wared that a
female thought might tempt him into doing something he ain't
ready for. Lady, I feel like my husband and my
(12:22):
marriage might be slipping away? How can I keep my
husband out of the streets. You can't. Your husband had
to want to come out of the streets, but he old,
or he don't even look good down there no more.
But I'll tell you what could show enough break it up.
I'm not saying you ought to do this, but if
you popped up down there after get old little rue
(12:44):
had a change everything that never be the same. I
don't suggest you do that because he he ain't gonna
he really ain't gonna like you. Then at least he
tried to climb in bed with you when he come
in on Thursday. If you go down, then he ain't
gonna cut you again. That's what damn show. Post your
comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM and
(13:05):
Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast
on demand now coming up at forty six minutes after
the album, got some sports talk from Junior. Right after this,
you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.
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