November 26, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Tuesday, November 25th, 2025. Subject: "We Got A Big Problem, Sis"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Time now for the Strawberry Letter for today. If you
need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We could be reading your letter alive.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
On the air, just like we're gonna read this one
right here, right now.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Hold on tight. We got it for you. Here it
is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Did you hear me talk? Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I heard the fact I get to do my intro.
Is you here?
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Because when he not you, I mean, when you not you,
you don't want me saying nothing?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
You don't like me?
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Certainly you mean you mean you mean don't want you
saying nothing? Like now when she could be reading a
letter like you.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Don't like me? Listen, he loves you talk about all right,
all right? Subject.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
We have a big problem sys. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've
been divorced for four years and my seven year old
child is caught up in a dysfunctional mess with me
and my ex husband. After my divorce, I found out
that my older sister was having an affair with my husband.
Throughout the divorce, she was my rock and I turned
(01:10):
to her for advice. Since she's been divorced three times.
All of the signs were there that they could have
been messing around, but I was going through hell, so
I didn't notice. My sister had started calling me at
work a lot, and I thought it was to check
on me, But I found out later that she was
making sure I was at work so she could be
(01:31):
alone with my husband in our bed. When it all
came out, I felt so stupid. It seemed as if
my husband was relieved to give me the details.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Well, fast forward to present day.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
My sister lives with my ex husband and they are
planning to get married. This has torn up my entire family.
My son knows that his mommy and his auntie don't
get along, but he does.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Not know why.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
He constantly asked me why his auntie lives with his
daddy instead of me and him living with his daddy.
All I told him is that his auntie hurt his
mommy really bad. I have never said anything negative about
his daddy to him.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
He's too young to understand.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I have told my ex that our son does not
need to stay with him right now because it's confusing
to him. My ex is so very nasty. Towards me
and still has no remorse for what he's done, so
he insists that he gets weekend visits. Visitations. For four years,
I've been bitter and angry and want to hurt both
of them. Someone mentioned counseling to me, but I need
(02:39):
a little more than that. I need peace in my
life and in my son's life. How can we move
on from this and be happy? Wow, you're a really
good person to not have, you know, done something physical
and violent to both of them.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I must tell you some sort, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Even if it's at a low level, some sort, I mean,
I really have to commend you for that. I'm a person,
I'm a woman that has two brothers. I always wanted
sisters because I always, you know, just wanted that closeness.
She could be my bff, we could bond all of that.
But clearly this is not the case in your situation
(03:19):
with you and your sister. I mean, she's ratchet and trifling,
she really is. I mean, calling your job to see
if you were at work so she could be with
your husband and your bed. Now she's living with him,
you divorced because he was cheap.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
This is just awful.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I mean, and I can imagine how this has torn
your family apart, and he doesn't seem to care. Your
ex husband, what effect this has on your seven year
old son. That's really where your focus should be. How
is he going to come out of all of this?
So to you, I got to tell you, you got
to be strong right now for the both of you,
because this kid is confused. Okay, so daddy's not living
(03:59):
with mommy, but he is still in the family because
he's living with Auntie. Now, can you imagine how confusing
that is for a child? And then your ex husband
wants visitation on the weekend, so he's gonna be over
there still with his daddy, your sister who now might
be his step mom slash Auntie. I mean, the confusion
(04:21):
and craziness of it, of all of this. But you know,
he's gonna find out she's been divorced three times. He's
gonna find out why in just a few short minutes.
He will be I'm sure ex husband number four when
this is all over with, Because she is trifling, she
is ratchet, your older sister.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I mean, of all the men in the world, she
goes after.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
You're a man, your husband, I mean, and right in
your face. Yeah, but how do you get through it?
This is a tough one. Right here, I'm gonna have
to tell you if you can, yes, I want you
to go to some counseling for sure, for sure for
you and your son. And this is hard. You're gonna
(05:06):
have to try to find it in your heart to
forgive them in this situation, because that's one of the
cleanest ways you can move on with your life.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I mean, that's hard. If you can.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
You know. I didn't say forget, but you're gonna have
to try and forgive them if you can.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
That's what I have for you, Steve.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
All Right, before I read through this letter, I want
to make this statement right here that nothing I'm about
to say is what I really want to say.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Nothing. Nothing.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
You want to cuss, don't you.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Well, it's not so much to cuss, but you do. Though.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
What I want to do to both of them I
can't say on the radio or recommend.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So let me take this approach to this.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
This one has been divorced and she's got a seven
year old that caught up in this dysfunctional man her
ex husband.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
After your divorce.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
After the divorce, now this is after divorce, you find
out that my oldest sister was having an affair with
my husband. Okay, so now you found this out after divorce.
This is your saving grace in this whole thing that
you found out after you got the divorce. God spared
(06:27):
you knowing this during for a particular reason, and you
turn to her for advice because she'd been divorced three
times and she did something to make you think she
was Okay. When I come back, I'm gonna tell you
the grace in all of this that you have.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
There is an upside.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Okay, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Right after this, you're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. It's
hard to find the right gifts, but you know it's
even harder getting the right gift. But get this, Verizon's
(07:07):
got the perfect solve for both. They have incredible gift bundles.
You get the latest phone with a new line on
my plan, and a brand new smartwatch and tablet, no
trade in needed. You can give a couple away and
get yourself one too, or you can keep them all
to yourself. No one has to know. Stop by your
(07:28):
local Verizon. All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's
Strawberry letter. We have a problem, sis.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
This woman been divorced four years, got the seven year
old child who's in this dysfunctional mess, her ex husband.
She found out after the divorce, that found out that
her oldest sister was having an affair with the husband
that you got the divorce from. Now, there's a reason
why you didn't know this during because that would have
(07:57):
been gut wrenching. I'm pretty sure it is now, but
at least you got the divorce now. During the divorce,
she was your rock and you turned to her for advice,
you know, because she been divorced three times. I don't
know what advice you get from somebody that's been divorced
three times, except especially when you're going through a divorce,
(08:21):
except just how to get through divorcing. That's the best advice,
Especially when you find out that all the signs that
were there that they had been messing around, but you
didn't notice.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Your sister was calling you at work.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
You thought it was a check on you, but you
found out she was making sure you was at work
so she could be along with my husband in our bed. Okay,
now that's trifling. Let me tell you what's wrong here.
You have discovered after the marriage that two of the
most despicable, trifling people were in your life. You had
(08:59):
a bad husband, you got a bad sister, and it's
led to a bad situation. These two people right here
are the worst of the worst. The blessing is you
got a chance to get away from one of them.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Now.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
The problem with siblings is you don't get to pick them.
You're born with them. Because your sisters don't mean you
have to be friends. You and your sister are not friends. Now,
Shirley said, a good thing. Shirley said, you have to forgive.
I don't know how you forgive this right here, but
you do have to move on from it.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Now. When it all came out, you say you felt stupid.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
And then it seemed as if my husband was relieved
to give you the details. Well, number one, he had
been living a lie. So giving you the details also
was to make you feel a couple of things. Number one,
like something was your fault. Number two, it was your
(10:01):
sister's fault. See dudes that open up about stuff like this,
it's to say to him some of this if I
hadn't been around in this situation with you and your family.
It well, half of it is your fault and the
rest of it is your sister's fault. Now fast forward
to present day. Your sister lived with your ex husband
and they planning on getting married. How you think that's
(10:23):
gonna work? As surely pointed out, she'd been divorced three
times and she then slept with her sister's husband. What
type of blessing you think fit to be on this mess?
Right here? Thank God you out of it. See, oftentimes
when God pulls us through stuff, we mess up by
dabbling back into stuff. Well, now your son is another problem.
(10:46):
He knows that as mommy and his auntie don't get along. Well,
that's cool, you can explain that. Quit taking him over there.
He constantly asked me why has auntie lived with his daddy?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Though? That's a little bit of trouble.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
And if he's seven when he going to school, somebody
else gonna ask to instead of you want to know,
instead of why you and him don't live with your daddy.
I told him that his auntie hurt his momm be
really bad. I've never said anything negative about his daddy
to him, he's too young to understand. I've told my
ex that our son does not need to stay with
him right now because it's confusing to him, which is
(11:20):
a true statement. But now he has no relationship with
his father, which is probably worse. So I don't know that.
Since this has caused some confusion in him as to
why his daddy is staying with his auntie and not
staying with him and his mama, that confusion is going
(11:40):
to exist whether he sees his dad or not. But
him not seeing his father, he needs that. He may
not be a good husband, he could be a good father.
Though my ex is so very nasty towards me and
still has no remorse for what he's done. Well, he's
nasty towards you because that's a defense mechanism. He got
(12:02):
to be nasty towards you because you have every right
to be nasty towards him.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
But kindness kills babies. Or if you were to just.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Be kind to him and his ex wife, him and
your sister, it would kill him. Now, it's gonna take
a lot for you, and I'm not sure you the
person that has that, because for years I've been bitter
and angry and I want to hurt both of them. See,
somebody told you that you should go to counseling, and
you really should because you need to talk over this
with somebody to discuss your feelings. But I need a
(12:31):
little more than that. Well, the only thing more than
that is God. See. And the one thing I'm gonna
tell you some old people say, sometimes you got to
let go and let God. You got to take this
situation that you're going through that's bigger than anything any
of us have for you, and you got to turn
it over to God. I ain't joking, man, You really
(12:52):
got to turn this one over to God because you
need peace in your life. And I know no better
way to get peace in your life through a relationationship
with God. I don't know a better way. It's my
piece in my life and in your son's life. How
can we move on from this and be happy? You
move on to it because He got you out of it.
(13:13):
Stop dabbling in it. You got to play the game now, Okay,
this your daddy boom and separate yourself. You gotta get
to that point and you're gonna lose your mind. You
need counseling and you need.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Prayer post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve
Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
Time now for the Strawberry Letter for today. If you
need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We could be reading your letter alive.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
On the air, just like we're gonna read this one
right here, right now.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Hold on tight. We got it for you. Here it
is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Did you hear me talk? Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I heard the fact I get to do my intro.
Is you here?
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Because when he not you, I mean, when you not you,
you don't want me saying nothing?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
You don't like me?
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Certainly you mean you mean you mean don't want you
saying nothing? Like now when she could be reading a
letter like you.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Don't like me? Listen, he loves you talk about all right,
all right? Subject.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
We have a big problem sys. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've
been divorced for four years and my seven year old
child is caught up in a dysfunctional mess with me
and my ex husband. After my divorce, I found out
that my older sister was having an affair with my husband.
Throughout the divorce, she was my rock and I turned
(01:10):
to her for advice. Since she's been divorced three times.
All of the signs were there that they could have
been messing around, but I was going through hell, so
I didn't notice. My sister had started calling me at
work a lot, and I thought it was to check
on me, But I found out later that she was
making sure I was at work so she could be
(01:31):
alone with my husband in our bed. When it all
came out, I felt so stupid. It seemed as if
my husband was relieved to give me the details.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Well, fast forward to present day.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
My sister lives with my ex husband and they are
planning to get married. This has torn up my entire family.
My son knows that his mommy and his auntie don't
get along, but he does.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Not know why.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
He constantly asked me why his auntie lives with his
daddy instead of me and him living with his daddy.
All I told him is that his auntie hurt his
mommy really bad. I have never said anything negative about
his daddy to him.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
He's too young to understand.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I have told my ex that our son does not
need to stay with him right now because it's confusing
to him. My ex is so very nasty. Towards me
and still has no remorse for what he's done, so
he insists that he gets weekend visits. Visitations. For four years,
I've been bitter and angry and want to hurt both
of them. Someone mentioned counseling to me, but I need
(02:39):
a little more than that. I need peace in my
life and in my son's life. How can we move
on from this and be happy? Wow, you're a really
good person to not have, you know, done something physical
and violent to both of them.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I must tell you some sort, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Even if it's at a low level, some sort, I mean,
I really have to commend you for that. I'm a person,
I'm a woman that has two brothers. I always wanted
sisters because I always, you know, just wanted that closeness.
She could be my bff, we could bond all of that.
But clearly this is not the case in your situation
(03:19):
with you and your sister. I mean, she's ratchet and trifling,
she really is. I mean, calling your job to see
if you were at work so she could be with
your husband and your bed. Now she's living with him,
you divorced because he was cheap.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
This is just awful.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I mean, and I can imagine how this has torn
your family apart, and he doesn't seem to care. Your
ex husband, what effect this has on your seven year
old son. That's really where your focus should be. How
is he going to come out of all of this?
So to you, I got to tell you, you got
to be strong right now for the both of you,
because this kid is confused. Okay, so daddy's not living
(03:59):
with mommy, but he is still in the family because
he's living with Auntie. Now, can you imagine how confusing
that is for a child? And then your ex husband
wants visitation on the weekend, so he's gonna be over
there still with his daddy, your sister who now might
be his step mom slash Auntie. I mean, the confusion
(04:21):
and craziness of it, of all of this. But you know,
he's gonna find out she's been divorced three times. He's
gonna find out why in just a few short minutes.
He will be I'm sure ex husband number four when
this is all over with, Because she is trifling, she
is ratchet, your older sister.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I mean, of all the men in the world, she
goes after.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
You're a man, your husband, I mean, and right in
your face. Yeah, but how do you get through it?
This is a tough one. Right here, I'm gonna have
to tell you if you can, yes, I want you
to go to some counseling for sure, for sure for
you and your son. And this is hard. You're gonna
(05:06):
have to try to find it in your heart to
forgive them in this situation, because that's one of the
cleanest ways you can move on with your life.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I mean, that's hard. If you can.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
You know. I didn't say forget, but you're gonna have
to try and forgive them if you can.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
That's what I have for you, Steve.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
All Right, before I read through this letter, I want
to make this statement right here that nothing I'm about
to say is what I really want to say.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Nothing. Nothing.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
You want to cuss, don't you.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Well, it's not so much to cuss, but you do. Though.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
What I want to do to both of them I
can't say on the radio or recommend.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So let me take this approach to this.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
This one has been divorced and she's got a seven
year old that caught up in this dysfunctional man her
ex husband.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
After your divorce.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
After the divorce, now this is after divorce, you find
out that my oldest sister was having an affair with
my husband. Okay, so now you found this out after divorce.
This is your saving grace in this whole thing that
you found out after you got the divorce. God spared
(06:27):
you knowing this during for a particular reason, and you
turn to her for advice because she'd been divorced three
times and she did something to make you think she
was Okay. When I come back, I'm gonna tell you
the grace in all of this that you have.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
There is an upside.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Okay, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Right after this, you're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. It's
hard to find the right gifts, but you know it's
even harder getting the right gift. But get this, Verizon's
(07:07):
got the perfect solve for both. They have incredible gift bundles.
You get the latest phone with a new line on
my plan, and a brand new smartwatch and tablet, no
trade in needed. You can give a couple away and
get yourself one too, or you can keep them all
to yourself. No one has to know. Stop by your
(07:28):
local Verizon. All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's
Strawberry letter. We have a problem, sis.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
This woman been divorced four years, got the seven year
old child who's in this dysfunctional mess, her ex husband.
She found out after the divorce, that found out that
her oldest sister was having an affair with the husband
that you got the divorce from. Now, there's a reason
why you didn't know this during because that would have
(07:57):
been gut wrenching. I'm pretty sure it is now, but
at least you got the divorce now. During the divorce,
she was your rock and you turned to her for advice,
you know, because she been divorced three times. I don't
know what advice you get from somebody that's been divorced
three times, except especially when you're going through a divorce,
(08:21):
except just how to get through divorcing. That's the best advice,
Especially when you find out that all the signs that
were there that they had been messing around, but you
didn't notice.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Your sister was calling you at work.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
You thought it was a check on you, but you
found out she was making sure you was at work
so she could be along with my husband in our bed. Okay,
now that's trifling. Let me tell you what's wrong here.
You have discovered after the marriage that two of the
most despicable, trifling people were in your life. You had
(08:59):
a bad husband, you got a bad sister, and it's
led to a bad situation. These two people right here
are the worst of the worst. The blessing is you
got a chance to get away from one of them.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Now.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
The problem with siblings is you don't get to pick them.
You're born with them. Because your sisters don't mean you
have to be friends. You and your sister are not friends. Now,
Shirley said, a good thing. Shirley said, you have to forgive.
I don't know how you forgive this right here, but
you do have to move on from it.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Now. When it all came out, you say you felt stupid.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
And then it seemed as if my husband was relieved
to give you the details. Well, number one, he had
been living a lie. So giving you the details also
was to make you feel a couple of things. Number one,
like something was your fault. Number two, it was your
(10:01):
sister's fault. See dudes that open up about stuff like this,
it's to say to him some of this if I
hadn't been around in this situation with you and your family.
It well, half of it is your fault and the
rest of it is your sister's fault. Now fast forward
to present day. Your sister lived with your ex husband
and they planning on getting married. How you think that's
(10:23):
gonna work? As surely pointed out, she'd been divorced three
times and she then slept with her sister's husband. What
type of blessing you think fit to be on this mess?
Right here? Thank God you out of it. See, oftentimes
when God pulls us through stuff, we mess up by
dabbling back into stuff. Well, now your son is another problem.
(10:46):
He knows that as mommy and his auntie don't get along. Well,
that's cool, you can explain that. Quit taking him over there.
He constantly asked me why has auntie lived with his daddy?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Though? That's a little bit of trouble.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
And if he's seven when he going to school, somebody
else gonna ask to instead of you want to know,
instead of why you and him don't live with your daddy.
I told him that his auntie hurt his momm be
really bad. I've never said anything negative about his daddy
to him, he's too young to understand. I've told my
ex that our son does not need to stay with
him right now because it's confusing to him, which is
(11:20):
a true statement. But now he has no relationship with
his father, which is probably worse. So I don't know that.
Since this has caused some confusion in him as to
why his daddy is staying with his auntie and not
staying with him and his mama, that confusion is going
(11:40):
to exist whether he sees his dad or not. But
him not seeing his father, he needs that. He may
not be a good husband, he could be a good father.
Though my ex is so very nasty towards me and
still has no remorse for what he's done. Well, he's
nasty towards you because that's a defense mechanism. He got
(12:02):
to be nasty towards you because you have every right
to be nasty towards him.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
But kindness kills babies. Or if you were to just.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Be kind to him and his ex wife, him and
your sister, it would kill him. Now, it's gonna take
a lot for you, and I'm not sure you the
person that has that, because for years I've been bitter
and angry and I want to hurt both of them. See,
somebody told you that you should go to counseling, and
you really should because you need to talk over this
with somebody to discuss your feelings. But I need a
(12:31):
little more than that. Well, the only thing more than
that is God. See. And the one thing I'm gonna
tell you some old people say, sometimes you got to
let go and let God. You got to take this
situation that you're going through that's bigger than anything any
of us have for you, and you got to turn
it over to God. I ain't joking, man, You really
(12:52):
got to turn this one over to God because you
need peace in your life. And I know no better
way to get peace in your life through a relationationship
with God. I don't know a better way. It's my
piece in my life and in your son's life. How
can we move on from this and be happy? You
move on to it because He got you out of it.
(13:13):
Stop dabbling in it. You got to play the game now, Okay,
this your daddy boom and separate yourself. You gotta get
to that point and you're gonna lose your mind. You
need counseling and you need.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Prayer post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve
Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.
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