Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter.
This could be your letter. We could be reading it
live on the air. You never know, it could be yours.
So write us, okay.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
So write us right now. Fuck love you, hold on tight.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Thank you, nephew. Subject, what's so darn funny? Okay, Dear
Stephen Shirley, I've been married for eighteen years and I'm
dating a younger lady on the side. I know what
you're thinking, but my wife stopped having sex with me
two years ago, and she got smart during an argument
and told me I could do whatever I needed to
do on the side because she didn't want me anymore.
(00:51):
It hurt like heck, but I moved on and met
someone new. My side chick is married, but she and
her husband have been living apart for four years. I'm
fifty five and my girlfriend is thirty five. She's tall
and thick with a tiny waist.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
It was love at.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
First sight, and I wanted nothing more than to make
her mind. We didn't rush into sex because I haven't
been with another woman since I met my wife twenty
two years ago. When we finally had sex recently, I
admitted I was nervous. She thought it was sweet, and
she jokingly said she'd take good care of me. When
(01:32):
I kissed her neck, she giggled. When I rubbed her skin,
she giggled. Every new position she giggled. I thought I
was showing out, but every few seconds she giggled. I
looked down at her. She had tears in her eyes
from all the laughing. I asked her what was so
darn funny, and she said she can tell I have
(01:53):
been married a long time. I was offended, but I
played it off and I let her take control. I
wasn't expecting what came next, and she had me holding
on for dear life. I got caught up in her
long legs and couldn't breathe at one point. Since that night,
she's been teasing me about wanting more. I don't have
(02:15):
the confidence to do it again. Am I out of
my league here? Or should I keep trying? M Okay,
let me get this straight. Let me just get this straight.
For a second, you were asking, you were asking Steve
and I to help you be a better lover for
your side piece. Okay, I mean, is it over between
(02:40):
you and your wife? And I guess according to you,
it is. But you guys did try to make it.
You didn't try to make it work anymore after this,
right because your wife practically gave you away when she
said she didn't want you anymore and for you to
do whatever you needed to do on the side that
was like a permanent hall pass. I'm sure that hurt,
like you said that did. And it's been two years.
(03:02):
So what I don't get is why you guys didn't
just get a divorce. I mean, do you still do
things together? You just don't have sex. It sounds pretty complicated.
You're legally married but living single, and this sounds like
it's working for you. I mean, you must have some
sort of understanding or arrangement going on here, and your
girlfriend must too. I don't know. Anyway, fast forward to
(03:24):
the side piece. You may not have a confidence to
do it again, but she sure wants you to do
it again. She wants you to do it again with her,
so that should get your self esteem, your confidence up
a bit right. Obviously she crushed your ego with all
the giggles and everything, but she didn't stop. She didn't
leave you, she didn't make fun of you. She didn't
(03:45):
even tell you to go back to your wife. So
she's obvious. She obviously likes something about you, and maybe
she can teach you a few things. So now the
ball's in your court. What are you going to do, Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Pooh? Girl?
Speaker 4 (04:00):
This letter here? What is such funny? Well, I'm the
man for this letter right here. Nice try Shirley, good
Christian answers. That ain't what this letter is about. This
ain't about no can your manage workout? Could y'all talk
it through? Do y'all still do things together? That is
(04:21):
not what this is about at all. I have found
the secret in this letter. The subject is what is
so funny? That's what this letter about. The hell you
laughing at? That's what the letter is about. I'm in
here with all, I'm giving it all I got. The
hell is so funny. So now let's talk about this
(04:45):
because here what happened? This man been married for eighteen years,
you dating this younger girl on the side, you know,
and he's gonna talk to trying to I know, you
know what you're thinking. But my wife stopped having sex
with me three years ago. She got smart than the
argumental me, I could do whatever I need to do
on the side because she ain't want me no more.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Okay, now I'm gonna show you some.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
It hurt like hell, but I move on, and I
met somebody knew my side chick is married. Now this
is critical information now, but she and her husband have
been living apart for four years.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
So now let's do the math. Here. Here's a man
been married eighteen years.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
His wife told him two years ago she ain't want
to have sexu withal you know, told him to get
something on the side, go.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Do what he want to do.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
He meets a side chick that what that is married,
but has been living apart from her man for four years.
I'm fifty five, my girlfriend thirty five. She tall and
thick with a tiny waist. Love at first sight. I
wanted nothing more to make her mind. She ain't rushing
in sex because I hadn't been seeing a woman since
I met my wife twenty two years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Another key piece of information. Here we go.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
When we finally had sex recently. I admitted I was
nervous when we finally had sex. I was nervous. She
thought it was sweet, and she said jokely, she'd take
good kill me.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
That's nothing.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
That's a warning. That wasn't Actually that was a warning.
When I kissed her neck, she giggled. When I rubbed
her skin, she giggled. Every new position she giggled. I
thought I was showing out, but every few seconds she giggled.
I looked down at her. She had tears and highs
(06:28):
from all in laughing.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I asked her, what was so funny?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Hold on thought, Hold that thought, Steve. I will have
part two of your response coming up a twenty three
minutes after the hour. You're gonna find out what's so
darn funny when we come back right after this. You're
listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
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Speaker 1 (07:27):
All right, come on, Steve. Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is what's so darned funny?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Now I've never taken this long down in the letter.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
I'm three fourths through with the leave before I have
made a point. But let me just do a recap
so you can understand this. Fifty five year old man
is dating a thirty three year old chick on the
side from his wife, who he's been married to eighteen years.
But for the past two years, hey haven't had sex.
She told him go do what he won't. She don't
(07:56):
want him anymore. The side chick has been slipping separate
from her husband, separated for four years. He met her,
long legs, small waist, pretty face, fell in love at
first sight, wanted her, but he hadn't had sex with
another woman in eighteen twenty two years.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
She said, it's okay, I take care of you.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
I considered at a warning, but he don't know that
because he ain't been with nobody else.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
In twenty two years.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
He kissed on ther next she started laughing. He rubbed
her skined, she started laughing, touch her feet, laughing. Every
time they flipped to a new position, she laughing. He
looked down. She got tears in her eyes from all
the laughing.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
I asked her what was so funny?
Speaker 4 (08:45):
And she could say it, she said, I can tell
you've been married a long time. Well, the question of
the letter is what is so funny? And the answer you, yo,
ask what she laughing at? I tell you what's so funny.
First of all, that's why your wife told you she
laughing at your little sex moves, and she laughing at
(09:06):
all the little stuff you trying. That's why your wife
told you two years ago, don't touch her no more.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
And you can go do what you wanna.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Do, because your ain't frying no bacon up in here
like I like mine extra crispy, and you in here
serving up all the wrong bacon. Your grease ain't even hot.
So now then she'd have put you out. Now you
gotta look at who you're dating, this woman that don't
put this thing on you, And you don't know what
to do now, you said in the letter. I was
offended and played it off, and I let her take control.
(09:36):
I wasn't expecting what came next. She had me holding
on for dear life. I got caught up in her
long legs and couldn't breathe at one point. Now won't
know what happened right there. That's why she been separated
for four years. Because she threw much. You'd poo much
for one man, but not enough for two. That's a
beer with her song. She in her bone, crushing me,
(10:00):
walking them up. Break it off.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
You getting stuff happening to you you ain't never had before.
You scared you in that scared she is that too much.
She over experienced.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
That's why her husband that left her for four years,
he's somewhere trying to pull hisself together.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Your wife don't want you because you don't know what
you're doing. You fifty five.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
I don't know what made you think you could do this,
thirty five year old girl. Your wife didn't want it
no more. She don't want it now. This is what
this letter is about.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Dog. So now listen to me. You said.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
Since that night, she's been teasing me about wanting more.
I don't have the confidence to do it again, and
I'm am I out of my lead here?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Or should I keep trying?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
No?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Brother, way out your lead? You bit off moding.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
You can shoot and you can't shoot baby girl because
baby girl is a mad.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Either's a man an, she's a man.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Yeah. See, they wrote songs about everything back then.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
You did in love with a man eater and you
ain't got nothing to eat cause your is inadequate. You can't.
Are you all that old baby kissing on the neck.
She don't want that rub in her skin?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Uh uh?
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Flip over and watch this. You let her take control.
She locked your mucky up. You didn't know what the hell.
I can't read what you're doing me.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
This is too much. Let it go stop, let her go,
let me.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Go shut your Yeah, now, listen to me.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
This is ain't not gonna work out for you. Dog.
You need to stop this right now. Now.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
What you're gonna have to do is you're gonna have
to do some practicing. But you're fifty five. You ain't
got any tank what you had, so now you gotta
do selective practicing. That's something I read a long time
ago that a man has a certain amount of pleasure.
Explosions let's call it uh huh in his lifetime at
(12:10):
fifty five, you are on the cusp.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Of running a little.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Low on the number you got left.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
So you need to be most selective.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
The man eater is gonna snatch yours from you, and
you ain't gonna have none left you already, sorry.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
The two women you've been with laughing.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Your wife then told you to get somebody on the
side because she don't even want it no more, and
not a man eater that ate you up one time.
He said, let's just try it again, and you ain't
got to confidence, and you shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
What is she doing? She's doing everything, She's doing everything.
He ain't doing nothing right.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
He in the corner skined, He trimmed, stook the blanket
over in the corner and pulled it over his little
naked body, just sucking his thumb.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Poast your comments on Today Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram, Out the Bathroom and check out the
Strawberry Letters podcast on demand.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
This Steve Harvey Marty show Man.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
The most important lesson you learned Steve from your parents.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
That I wasn't supposed to be here.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
They reminded you that.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Look dad, and.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Constantly told me that my mama had me here forty two.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I was talking to my father one time.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
I sit down, I need to talk to you say,
you can go ahead and talk to me, but you
do know you ain't even supposed to be here for
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Steve Harby Morning Show coming up right after you