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October 9, 2025 13 mins

The Strawberry Letter, heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, Thursday, October 9th, 2025. Subject: "Why Can't He Talk Around Me?"

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVIFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

(00:20):
it could be yours. Get up, Steve, it.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Could be yours. Bugle love and hold on time. We
got it for you here it is Strawberry.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Let up, you're all lounging. Thank you, nephew. Subject why
can't he talk around me? Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm engaged
to a man that never talks on the phone around me.
He won't answer the phone in my presence and he
barely texts around me. In the beginning of our courtship,
I used to be on the phone all the time,
either facetiming my mom or scrolling on social media. He

(00:51):
cut all of that out and said we need to
be intentional with our time together. He used to come
over to my house and leave his phone in the
kitchen so it didn't disturb us, and I love that
about him. In the past few months, he switched up
his phone habits. When he gets to my house, he's
always on the phone. He gets off as soon as
he pulls up in my driveway. I've been outside and

(01:13):
seen it with my own eyes. If he takes a
call while we're out, he walks away to talk on
the phone and then hangs up before he comes back
to the table. We've spent a lot of nights together
and his phone is nowhere to be found when I'm
at his house. Like I said, I thought it was
sweet at first, but after two years of dating, it's

(01:34):
totally fine to be on the phone around me. His
mom is fussed at him for not taking her calls.
If I want to talk to his parents, he'll tell
me to call them on my own time. I don't
want to create drama where there is none, but you
have to admit that it's strange that my fiance gets
off the phone whenever he pulls up to my house,
and he gets back on the phone when he's pulling

(01:56):
out of my driveway. It makes me think that he's
hiding something from me. I would go through his phone,
but I never know where he's hiding it. I'm also
scared of what I might find out. How can we
be married if he can't talk to his friends and
family around me. Yeah, Well, whoever he's talking to and
whatever they're talking about, he doesn't want you to know

(02:18):
or he doesn't want you to hear it. Before when
you guys, like you said, were just starting out and
all of that, he wanted you to be intentional. He
didn't want you to be on the phone, and he
didn't want to be on the phone. He left his
phone in the kitchen. So I say, yeah, he is
hiding something, which should not be the case since you
guys are engaged and you have been for two years

(02:38):
and you should be getting married soon. You already know
this is no way to start off a marriage. There
are just too many secrets going on, and this is
one thing that you really don't like. I say, there
is something he's hiding and he doesn't care how it
makes you feel. At this point, marriage is also about trust.
You know that, and what he's doing is making you

(03:00):
lose trust in him. You need to really look at
him and consider what your relationship and marriage is gonna
look like. If he's doing it now, he's not going
to change. He'll do it when you guys get married,
you're not gonna want your husband talking in secret around you.
So you got to think about this before you walk
down that aisle.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Steve, Wow, lady, you know I try to defend me
in when I can. I really do, because sometimes you
all go off on tangents that have no factual bearing
at all. You're going off on something that happened in
your past and you break that baggage into the relationship

(03:43):
and all of a sudden, every man is just like that.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
And that's not the case. However, But when you.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
Write a letter and I'm trying to find you know what,
let me help you. We'll always try to find the
redeeming quality in a man. If you don't mention any
redeeming qualities, then you give me nothing to fight with.
I want to try to help save relationships because a
lot of people break up too early.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
It's just really a factual fact.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
Now, because it's Instagram, instant coffee, instant relationships, I get
on this app and I'll find somebody. Oh no, you're
not know you not all right? So let me try
to help. Why can't he talk around me? Let me
just answer that question first, because he don't want you

(04:36):
to hear what he said. That's why there are conversations
I cannot have around Marjorie.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
I just can't because.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
There's some stuff I'm saying to my dudes that she
really don't need to hear. Because as dudes, we have
a certain way we talk around each other, and it's
acceptable and politically correct in our circle, but in the
general public, I could get canceled for now every conversation

(05:11):
I ever had with my dudes that I grew up with,
because we don't have a cancelation culture. From one hundred
and twelfth Street. We boys, We them boys, and that's
how we talk. So I've gotten that out the way.
I can't say this one I'm talking about my relationship

(05:33):
me and my friends because I can't hear. I can't
say he won't answer the phone in my prison. He
badly texts around me. In the beginning of our courtship,
I used to be on the phone all the time,
and he said we had to be more intentional with
our time together. He used to come over to my
house and leave his phone in the kitchen so it
didn't disturb us, and I loved that about him. The

(05:56):
past few months, though, he just switched up these habits.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
He gets to my house, he's always on the phone.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
He gets off soon as he pull up in my
driveway and I'm outside, I'd have seen it with my
own eyes.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
If you take a.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
Car while we out, he'll walk away, talk on the phone,
then hang up for he come back to the table.
We just spend a whole lot of nights together and
his phone is nowhere to be found when I'm at
his house. That means you have looked for it. Nowhere
to be fine, But where is this phone at? I

(06:31):
think it's outside in the truck, That's.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
What I think it is.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
Hangu been out to the garage. Have you checked the
back of the toolbox.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour today.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Under behind the paper times.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Why can't he talk around me? We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 1 (07:27):
Come on Steve Let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
is why can he talk around me?

Speaker 3 (07:34):
Here's the problem with this whole letter. They have been
dating for two years. She says she is his fiance,
and why can't he talk around me? Number one cause
you don't need to hear what he's saying. Number two,
he's having conversations that you may not approve of.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
Number three. This isn't the hard one for women.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
This is number three, ladies, It ain't your business.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
That's a hard one.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
That's a hard one, hard hard one. So now let's
move on. When he used to come over to the house,
he would leave his phone in the kitchen, said, our
time with each other needs to be more intentional. He
stopped you from social media, talking on the phone and
going on Instagram, and you love that about him.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Well, he has switched.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Up now when he come over to your house, you
see him on the phone. You be in the driveway.
He get off the phone soon as he get there.
Y'all spend a lot of nights together, and you can't
find his phone nowhere.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Something is on this phone.

Speaker 5 (08:54):
Something is being said into the mouthpiece of his phone
and coming out the ear hole on this phone that
you cannot be privy to.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
Period. So we have this letter that has.

Speaker 3 (09:12):
A question, why can't he talk around Well, lady, why
you think he's talking on you? You say, but after two
years of dating, it's totally fine to be on the
phone around me. His mam has fusted him for not
taking her calls. Now let me let me now, let's
let's take that line right there. His mama and fussed
at him for not taking her calls. Now, let's go

(09:32):
down to the bottom of the line, bottom of the house.
You said, how can we be married if he can't
talk to his friends and his family around me? Let
me just put it to you out here, point blake,
Because he ain't talking to his friends and he already

(09:53):
don't take his mama calls? Who don't take that mama call?
What man don't take his mama's call. That's the call
you got to take because something could be wrong. He
ain't taking his mama's call. Your question is if he
can't talk to his friends and family around me. Well,

(10:18):
because he ain't talking to his friends and his family.
Mama that says she don't. He don't even take her call.
So who is he talking to? You can't say he
talking to his mama. She don't take his call. I
can't help this man. He talking to some women. He
talking to some women. And what he's saying to this

(10:39):
woman you can't hear. And when his phone rang, when
y'all out, he get up and walk away because he
taking calls from nimbus women trying to make it like
he got a regular life.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Now, y'all fin to get married.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
You're going to be married to a man that has
a lot of secret phone calls.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
Hey, baby, let me apes, Hey, let me hit you back,
let me hit you back. Busy here, he's here. I
can't talk right now, you.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Should, that's okay. So any questions, ladies, anybody questions. I
can't help this. I can't help him. I can't help Let.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
Me ask you this me. It sounds like, of course
he yes, he is talking to to other women, but
why would he be doing that and he's engaged? Just
a basic question, why would he be doing that? He's
been engaged for two years. What is going on?

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Why would he be talking to another woman and he engaged?

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yeah, I just want just a basic question.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well, how else is he gonna have a chick on
the side.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
But you know, some people pop we are like, dang,
we're engaged. Why would he you know, right, why would
he be talking to someone else? They've been engaged for
two years and he's changed so much. I mean at
first he didn't. He said, let's be intentional about our relationship.
Let's leave our phones and.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
Now right, you know, now today don't got intentional or
he learned all he needed to learn. He needs somebody else.

Speaker 6 (12:24):
Wow, yes, junior, h okay, I say he talked to
the chic onside. But can you tell us where he
taking all these phone calls at?

Speaker 4 (12:33):
And is house?

Speaker 6 (12:33):
Where's he been taking these phone calls at? Because he
can't talk in front of where is he? A? Yeah,
he go outside. He in the backyard. He on the
other side of the tree in the.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
Backyard, so he's hiding and talking.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
He on the other side of the tree. I can't
see him.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
He's just talking.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
He done went outside, got in the car and started it,
sitting there increasing the rpm.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
So you can't hear.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
Stay with this guy.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
She shouldn't follow her intuition. She know what's happening. You
know what's happening, but your heart, your heart don't want
to believe it.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
But your mind. My mind keeps telling.

Speaker 3 (13:23):
Me, Yeah, you gotta go with your mind.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Sometimes I can't say your.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
She can't find his phone nowhere.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the Free iHeartRadio app.
Free Never Sounded So good. You can download it Today
you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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Host

Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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