May 24, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a 37 year old divorced woman and I met a man online that I really got a good feeling about. We talked on the phone for a week and then we started doing video calls so we could see each other. I’m very shy so this was an ideal way for me to meet someone and get to know them. My ex-husband was emotionally abusive and he cheated on me twice.........................................
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well, today is election day in Georgia, Alabama, and Arkansas
and runoff elections in Texas. So please people get out
and vote today. Go to when We All Vote dot
org for all of your voting information. Okay, yeah and
uh yeah, yeah, we gotta do it. Let's show up,
all right, and it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
(00:24):
If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve FARVEFM
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours, junior. Why don't you do the
honors today? Will Shirley. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time
(00:46):
for the Strawberry Letter with my good friend Shirley straw
Thank you junior. Subject. Why is he so small? There?
Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty seven year old divorced woman
and I met a man online that I really got
a good feeling about. We talked on the phone for
a week and then we started doing video calls so
(01:06):
we could see each other. I'm very shy, so this
was an ideal way for me to meet someone to
get to know them. My ex husband was emotionally abusive,
and he cheated on me twice. I never wanted to
get a divorce, but he gave me no option. I
struggled with going on blind dates because I have very
specific qualities I'm looking for in a man. I put
(01:29):
all of that on my profile. So when I met
this guy that I'm dating now, I assumed he fit
the criteria. Whenever we video chat, he was sitting straight
up or lounging on his sofa. He had nice arms
and upper body, and he's a gym rat, always talking
about his workouts. I told him that I wasn't in
the best shape yet, but I was working on my
(01:51):
body too. I was apprehensive to meet him because he
was so muscular. He begged and begged, and I finally
agreed to meet him at a farmer's market so we
could get some fresh food and cook together at my house.
When I pulled up, I saw him from a distance
and I started to drive away. I'm all of five
(02:11):
five five feet five inches tall, and so is he well,
he maybe five seven and stocky looking. I got out
in a sun dress and heels, and I was eye
to eye with him when I hugged him. Our first
date was wonderful and he's a good cook. But I
couldn't help but notice his wide shoulders, knife back, and
(02:34):
small waist and legs. It was a turn off. And
I'm trying not to be so judgmental, but why is
he so small? I know big things come in small packages,
so I pray he has a big surprise for me
in the bed. That may be the deciding factor. Am
I being too picky and petty? Are you being too
(02:56):
picky or petty? I'll say no, because you have every
right to want what you want. If you like bigger guys,
if you like taller guys, it's nothing wrong with that.
But now there's another part to all of this, and
that is no one is perfect. I mean not even you.
You mentioned it. You have some work to do too,
and you need to get to the gym. You mentioned that.
(03:19):
And if he's a good man in every other area
and he treats you like a queen, which of course
only time will tell. You only said he was a
good cook so far, but you know you should take
that into consideration. I mean, give him points for that. Sometimes,
you know, we get fixated on the wrong things. We
get fixated on physical things instead of the inner goodness
(03:40):
and beauty of a person, the good hearted heartedness of
a person, etc. I think you did get catfished with
his height though, because you didn't know how short he
was until you actually met him and not before. So
you got to ask yourself, can you get past his
shortcoming so to speak? Or can you not get past them?
You say, if you sleep with him, that could make
(04:02):
you help make your decision. So write us back and
let us know how he sizes up, because apparently you're
getting ready to do that, or you're going to do that,
you have plans to do that, so let us know how.
You know everything turns out all right, write us back, Steve,
I'm a little surprised at this letter, but they're not
surprised at all, and we'll go through it. Why is
(04:24):
he so smart? Well, let's talk about it. You're thirty
seven year old divorced woman. You met a man online
and you had a good feeling about him. Okay, that's
women's intuition. It works. He talked for a week, then
you start doing video calls a very shay so This
is an ideal way for me to meet somebody. Also
(04:47):
a smart way to date too. Before you go out
with these people, get on a video call ladies. That's
a smart way to date. That's the smart So far,
so good. Max hubby was emotionally abusively cheated on me twice.
I didn't want to get a divorce where he gave
me no option. I struggled with going on blind days
because I have a very specific qualities of what I'm
(05:07):
looking for in a man. Well, what you should say
is you have very physical requirements that you're looking for
in a man. That's what you have. I struggled with
going on blind days. You have very specific qualities I'm
looking for a man. I put all that on my profile.
So when I met this guy that I'm dating now,
(05:28):
I assume to here fit the criteria. Excuse me, excuse me.
You said you put that on your profile. Okay, it's
home now he read it. He fit everything else. Problem
and based on the conversations, it's true you told him
how tall you wanted a man. But who gets everything? Lord?
(05:50):
I wish Tommy was here, you know, so we could
get some you know, some real feedback, so we can
let you talk to a man that has had running
this situation before. I have never run into this situation,
so I can't speak for firsthand, but I'm sure you
time me we're here on this Strawberry letter, he could
tell you how a man feel about stuff like that
(06:11):
and give you some insight. And so we'll get into
that one day. Verses. Yeah, so we'll get into it,
and then whenever we video chat. He was sitting straight
up a lounging on his sofa. My man, My man,
he knew not to be standing up behind that couch
so you could just see up behind that couch, you
know what would be visible, you know. And he got
(06:34):
his elbows rested on the back of that couch. You
the knew right there. All right, Hold that thought, Steve,
Hold that thought. We'll have part two of your response
coming up for twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's
Strawberry Letter subject why is he so small? We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening to Steve
(06:55):
Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve, let's recap
today's Strawberry letter. The subject so, well, this lady met
this man online. She's divorced with an abusive relationship. She
met a really nice man, they chatted, They finally video
called each other, which I complimented on a very very
smart way. Before you meet these guys, everything was going good.
(07:17):
And she said she didn't go on blind dates because
she struggled with them, because she has specific qualities. She
was looking for the man. And she said she put
all that on her profile. Well she did. She put
it on her profile, and this date read it. So
when she met this guy and them day now assumed
he fit the criteria, Well, you know that was on
your profile. He read it. He read it. We all
(07:39):
do that. That's how we do. We mean, we heard
what you said. We wanted to hear what we are.
Hear what we are. Let me see if you like
this here and so whenever we video chat, he was
sitting straight up or lounging on his sofa. You know,
he has nice arms and an upper body, and he's
a gym rat. Okay, brot take care of herself, always
(08:00):
talking about his workouts. I told him I wasn't in
the base best shape yet, but I was working on
my body too. Let's park right here. Now, you didn't
put all this in your profile. Out let's just say
tall dog and Hans. Let's just say a man that's
in shape to take care of itself. And now here
(08:24):
you are admitted me you have to divorce. You've been
just eat after divorce, your hug being just over the eight.
Now you on a foe one on him. I told
him I wasn't in the best shape yet, but I
was working on my body too well, you know what,
(08:44):
And he accepted that. I was apprehensive to meet him
because he was so muscular. Yeah, boy in the gym
and you ain't okay. He begged and begged, and I
finally agreed to meet him at a farmer's market. So
we get some fresh food and cook together in my house.
When I pull up, I saw him from a distance
and I started to drive away. I'm all a five
five tall, and so is he well, he maybe five
(09:05):
seven and stocky looking. I got out in the sun
dressing heels and I was out of eye with him
when when I hugged him. Our first date was wonderful.
He's a good cook, but I couldn't help but notice
his wide shoulders, nice back, and small waisting legs. He
you don't know he's been working out. He could have
been in prison too. That's prison body. They don't have
(09:29):
leg machines in the joint. Time we got you ain't
got time to work on your legs. That dude be
damn pull ups man. And they don't do leg machines
in prison. They don't have that. You ain't got long.
You gotta out there your turn. You gotta lifted his
weight anyway. But now I ain't saying he went to prison,
But that's a prison boy, that's what they call. I
couldn't help but notice all lesson and now it was
(09:52):
a turn off. And I'm trying not to be so judgmental,
but why is he so small? I know big things
coming small packages, but I pray he is a big
size surprised for me in the bed. Maybe that'll be
to decide in fact him I being too picky and petty.
You ain't being picky and petty enough nothing. You know,
you find to sleep with it. You know, you know
(10:12):
where are you going? Lady? You already didn't decide that
you find to sleep with it because you want some
of that, some of that muscle back up on that
doing his job. You want to see how many presses
he can do with you. That's what you won't, ain't it?
You want to see if he can pick you up,
(10:33):
even though you ain't in shape yet, and if he
can where we act, you're hoping he got a big
surprise for you down there. You've already decided you sleeping
with this man. So where the hell did the line
come from? Am I being too picky and petty? And
let me remind you, sister, I ain't saying you got
the lower your standards, but let me tell you something.
(10:56):
Y'all can't get what you don't give. Ladies, your list
is important, but make sure that you are the list. Okay,
you can't walk. A man that's in great shape, got
hisself together, got great credit, and you ain't got yourself together.
(11:16):
You ain't in shape and ain't in a position to
help him get his credit together. Remember the ladies, y'all
got to quit ask him for what you don't have
to offer. Now. I don't mind you have an extensive list,
but make sure you are the list. See, you can't
come to me, won't this and you don't have it?
(11:37):
You can't get what you never had. I'm sorry. That
ain't my fault. That ought to be a bible verse.
I think something in there like that, somewhere where the
Bible verse for that ship. Find me a scripture, because
I just came up with arm be hit that's all
I had. But you know, lady, look you all to
something here. You're thirty seven years old. You want a
(11:57):
man that to treat you right, that's to you. Everybody
ain't gonna be everything. I'm not everything Marjorie wanted. I'm
sure ain't missing nothing. But you know, I don't know
what else she wanted. You know, but I've I've noticed
(12:18):
as the years, I've come up short and a couple
of categories. I thought I'll just fine. I thought I
was doing Jeff fine. You know, I don't communicate good enough.
You talk for a living, but you don't talk to
me like that. Well, you know what you want? You
want to do jokes at the house. Do you want
these jokes at the house? You want me to tell
(12:40):
you what the survey say what you want? So I'm
not really mad at this guy. I don't think he lied,
and I think that you've already decided you're gonna sleep
with him. So now go ahead, Yeah, good luck. You
might have a good, nice little good little shows man
let us know all right. Poster comments thank you Steve
(13:04):
on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey, you're telling my
saying that too, because I know he boy Paul, Instagram
and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Litter podcast on demand
as well. Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour,
it's Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening
to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
Well, today is election day in Georgia, Alabama, and Arkansas
and runoff elections in Texas. So please people get out
and vote today. Go to when We All Vote dot
org for all of your voting information. Okay, yeah and
uh yeah, yeah, we gotta do it. Let's show up,
all right, and it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
(00:24):
If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve FARVEFM
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours, junior. Why don't you do the
honors today? Will Shirley. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time
(00:46):
for the Strawberry Letter with my good friend Shirley straw
Thank you junior. Subject. Why is he so small? There?
Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty seven year old divorced woman
and I met a man online that I really got
a good feeling about. We talked on the phone for
a week and then we started doing video calls so
(01:06):
we could see each other. I'm very shy, so this
was an ideal way for me to meet someone to
get to know them. My ex husband was emotionally abusive,
and he cheated on me twice. I never wanted to
get a divorce, but he gave me no option. I
struggled with going on blind dates because I have very
specific qualities I'm looking for in a man. I put
(01:29):
all of that on my profile. So when I met
this guy that I'm dating now, I assumed he fit
the criteria. Whenever we video chat, he was sitting straight
up or lounging on his sofa. He had nice arms
and upper body, and he's a gym rat, always talking
about his workouts. I told him that I wasn't in
the best shape yet, but I was working on my
(01:51):
body too. I was apprehensive to meet him because he
was so muscular. He begged and begged, and I finally
agreed to meet him at a farmer's market so we
could get some fresh food and cook together at my house.
When I pulled up, I saw him from a distance
and I started to drive away. I'm all of five
(02:11):
five five feet five inches tall, and so is he well,
he maybe five seven and stocky looking. I got out
in a sun dress and heels, and I was eye
to eye with him when I hugged him. Our first
date was wonderful and he's a good cook. But I
couldn't help but notice his wide shoulders, knife back, and
(02:34):
small waist and legs. It was a turn off. And
I'm trying not to be so judgmental, but why is
he so small? I know big things come in small packages,
so I pray he has a big surprise for me
in the bed. That may be the deciding factor. Am
I being too picky and petty? Are you being too
(02:56):
picky or petty? I'll say no, because you have every
right to want what you want. If you like bigger guys,
if you like taller guys, it's nothing wrong with that.
But now there's another part to all of this, and
that is no one is perfect. I mean not even you.
You mentioned it. You have some work to do too,
and you need to get to the gym. You mentioned that.
(03:19):
And if he's a good man in every other area
and he treats you like a queen, which of course
only time will tell. You only said he was a
good cook so far, but you know you should take
that into consideration. I mean, give him points for that. Sometimes,
you know, we get fixated on the wrong things. We
get fixated on physical things instead of the inner goodness
(03:40):
and beauty of a person, the good hearted heartedness of
a person, etc. I think you did get catfished with
his height though, because you didn't know how short he
was until you actually met him and not before. So
you got to ask yourself, can you get past his
shortcoming so to speak? Or can you not get past them?
You say, if you sleep with him, that could make
(04:02):
you help make your decision. So write us back and
let us know how he sizes up, because apparently you're
getting ready to do that, or you're going to do that,
you have plans to do that, so let us know how.
You know everything turns out all right, write us back, Steve,
I'm a little surprised at this letter, but they're not
surprised at all, and we'll go through it. Why is
(04:24):
he so smart? Well, let's talk about it. You're thirty
seven year old divorced woman. You met a man online
and you had a good feeling about him. Okay, that's
women's intuition. It works. He talked for a week, then
you start doing video calls a very shay so This
is an ideal way for me to meet somebody. Also
(04:47):
a smart way to date too. Before you go out
with these people, get on a video call ladies. That's
a smart way to date. That's the smart So far,
so good. Max hubby was emotionally abusively cheated on me twice.
I didn't want to get a divorce where he gave
me no option. I struggled with going on blind days
because I have a very specific qualities of what I'm
(05:07):
looking for in a man. Well, what you should say
is you have very physical requirements that you're looking for
in a man. That's what you have. I struggled with
going on blind days. You have very specific qualities I'm
looking for a man. I put all that on my profile.
So when I met this guy that I'm dating now,
(05:28):
I assume to here fit the criteria. Excuse me, excuse me.
You said you put that on your profile. Okay, it's
home now he read it. He fit everything else. Problem
and based on the conversations, it's true you told him
how tall you wanted a man. But who gets everything? Lord?
(05:50):
I wish Tommy was here, you know, so we could
get some you know, some real feedback, so we can
let you talk to a man that has had running
this situation before. I have never run into this situation,
so I can't speak for firsthand, but I'm sure you
time me we're here on this Strawberry letter, he could
tell you how a man feel about stuff like that
(06:11):
and give you some insight. And so we'll get into
that one day. Verses. Yeah, so we'll get into it,
and then whenever we video chat. He was sitting straight
up a lounging on his sofa. My man, My man,
he knew not to be standing up behind that couch
so you could just see up behind that couch, you
know what would be visible, you know. And he got
(06:34):
his elbows rested on the back of that couch. You
the knew right there. All right, Hold that thought, Steve,
Hold that thought. We'll have part two of your response
coming up for twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's
Strawberry Letter subject why is he so small? We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening to Steve
(06:55):
Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve, let's recap
today's Strawberry letter. The subject so, well, this lady met
this man online. She's divorced with an abusive relationship. She
met a really nice man, they chatted, They finally video
called each other, which I complimented on a very very
smart way. Before you meet these guys, everything was going good.
(07:17):
And she said she didn't go on blind dates because
she struggled with them, because she has specific qualities. She
was looking for the man. And she said she put
all that on her profile. Well she did. She put
it on her profile, and this date read it. So
when she met this guy and them day now assumed
he fit the criteria, Well, you know that was on
your profile. He read it. He read it. We all
(07:39):
do that. That's how we do. We mean, we heard
what you said. We wanted to hear what we are.
Hear what we are. Let me see if you like
this here and so whenever we video chat, he was
sitting straight up or lounging on his sofa. You know,
he has nice arms and an upper body, and he's
a gym rat. Okay, brot take care of herself, always
(08:00):
talking about his workouts. I told him I wasn't in
the base best shape yet, but I was working on
my body too. Let's park right here. Now, you didn't
put all this in your profile. Out let's just say
tall dog and Hans. Let's just say a man that's
in shape to take care of itself. And now here
(08:24):
you are admitted me you have to divorce. You've been
just eat after divorce, your hug being just over the eight.
Now you on a foe one on him. I told
him I wasn't in the best shape yet, but I
was working on my body too well, you know what,
(08:44):
And he accepted that. I was apprehensive to meet him
because he was so muscular. Yeah, boy in the gym
and you ain't okay. He begged and begged, and I
finally agreed to meet him at a farmer's market. So
we get some fresh food and cook together in my house.
When I pull up, I saw him from a distance
and I started to drive away. I'm all a five
five tall, and so is he well, he maybe five
(09:05):
seven and stocky looking. I got out in the sun
dressing heels and I was out of eye with him
when when I hugged him. Our first date was wonderful.
He's a good cook, but I couldn't help but notice
his wide shoulders, nice back, and small waisting legs. He
you don't know he's been working out. He could have
been in prison too. That's prison body. They don't have
(09:29):
leg machines in the joint. Time we got you ain't
got time to work on your legs. That dude be
damn pull ups man. And they don't do leg machines
in prison. They don't have that. You ain't got long.
You gotta out there your turn. You gotta lifted his
weight anyway. But now I ain't saying he went to prison,
But that's a prison boy, that's what they call. I
couldn't help but notice all lesson and now it was
(09:52):
a turn off. And I'm trying not to be so judgmental,
but why is he so small? I know big things
coming small packages, but I pray he is a big
size surprised for me in the bed. Maybe that'll be
to decide in fact him I being too picky and petty.
You ain't being picky and petty enough nothing. You know,
you find to sleep with it. You know, you know
(10:12):
where are you going? Lady? You already didn't decide that
you find to sleep with it because you want some
of that, some of that muscle back up on that
doing his job. You want to see how many presses
he can do with you. That's what you won't, ain't it?
You want to see if he can pick you up,
(10:33):
even though you ain't in shape yet, and if he
can where we act, you're hoping he got a big
surprise for you down there. You've already decided you sleeping
with this man. So where the hell did the line
come from? Am I being too picky and petty? And
let me remind you, sister, I ain't saying you got
the lower your standards, but let me tell you something.
(10:56):
Y'all can't get what you don't give. Ladies, your list
is important, but make sure that you are the list. Okay,
you can't walk. A man that's in great shape, got
hisself together, got great credit, and you ain't got yourself together.
(11:16):
You ain't in shape and ain't in a position to
help him get his credit together. Remember the ladies, y'all
got to quit ask him for what you don't have
to offer. Now. I don't mind you have an extensive list,
but make sure you are the list. See, you can't
come to me, won't this and you don't have it?
(11:37):
You can't get what you never had. I'm sorry. That
ain't my fault. That ought to be a bible verse.
I think something in there like that, somewhere where the
Bible verse for that ship. Find me a scripture, because
I just came up with arm be hit that's all
I had. But you know, lady, look you all to
something here. You're thirty seven years old. You want a
(11:57):
man that to treat you right, that's to you. Everybody
ain't gonna be everything. I'm not everything Marjorie wanted. I'm
sure ain't missing nothing. But you know, I don't know
what else she wanted. You know, but I've I've noticed
(12:18):
as the years, I've come up short and a couple
of categories. I thought I'll just fine. I thought I
was doing Jeff fine. You know, I don't communicate good enough.
You talk for a living, but you don't talk to
me like that. Well, you know what you want? You
want to do jokes at the house. Do you want
these jokes at the house? You want me to tell
(12:40):
you what the survey say what you want? So I'm
not really mad at this guy. I don't think he lied,
and I think that you've already decided you're gonna sleep
with him. So now go ahead, Yeah, good luck. You
might have a good, nice little good little shows man
let us know all right. Poster comments thank you Steve
(13:04):
on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey, you're telling my
saying that too, because I know he boy Paul, Instagram
and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Litter podcast on demand
as well. Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour,
it's Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening
to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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