October 2, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter, heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, Thursday, October 2nd, 2025. Subject: "You Can't Do What I Do"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
And write us.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
You know all that we could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Right here, right now. Buckle up, a hold on tight,
we got it. Pull you here. Its Strawberry Letters.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
That's right, nephew, this one could be your subject.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
You can't do what I do, Dear Stephen Shirley, My
husband and I were only having sex three times a month.
That may have been cool for him, but I get
it when I want it, just not from him. I've
had a man on the side for about four months
and I don't feel bad about it. My man on
the side is loving and thoughtful, and we stay. We
(00:52):
only stay in five star hotels. He whinds and dines
me before we make love, and he lets me stay
overnight in the room if he.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Has to leave.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
He's married and he's very happy in his marriage, but
he does not get enough sex at home either. I
used to feel bad about it, but I enjoy my
time with my side man. I thought I had it
all figured out until I came out of a hotel
late Saturday night, late one Saturday night, late on a
Saturday night, i should say, and I saw my husband's
(01:23):
truck park next to my car. I panicked and slowly
walked to my car. He left a note on my
windshield that said, you can't do what I do. I
called his phone to see where he was, but it
went straight to voicemail. I went back in the hotel
to see if my husband checked into a room. The
lady at the desk told me that she couldn't tell
(01:44):
me that, but she said a man came in that
night and commented that his wife was up in one
of the rooms at the hotel. I was so outdone
because all this time he was cheating too. When I
finally got up the nerve to talk to him about
the note, he was calm about it. He said that
there's no way he's going to allow his wife to
run around behind his back. He said, it's one thing
(02:07):
if he does it, because I made him cheat by
the way I try to control him. He told me,
either I stopped cheating, or I'll have to move out.
How can he say that to me if he's still
going to be stepping.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Out on me? Why the double standard? What do I do?
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Well?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Double standards have been around since the beginning of time.
They aren't going anywhere. I mean, you can ask all
you want, they're just not going. So I'm sure your husband.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Mean what he says. What do you do you ask? Well?
I think it depends on what you want.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Your husband already told you you can't do what he does.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
That's the double standard. He said. He cheats because you
try to control him.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
So unless you stop trying to control him, according to
your husband, he's gonna keep cheating. This makes no sense,
but it is what it is. That's what he said.
You know, you can't fix what's wrong with your marriage
by going outside of it cheating, and neither can he.
But that's what you guys have chosen to do, and
it is tearing your marriage apart. But the damage is
(03:11):
done now. This marriage is on life support. It's barely
hanging on. So the question is are you willing to
give up your side piece for the sake of your marriage?
Are you gonna let your husband put you out of
the house? Your house to stay with your other man.
I mean, those are the questions you have to ask
yourself or you know, I don't even know if this
(03:34):
marriage is savlegeable at this point because you guys.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Are both cheating.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
You don't want to give up your side piece, and
it doesn't sound like your husband is gonna stop cheating.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Steve, We're going to do this letter a little bit
differently because this is such an obvious letter to me.
By the time I make this statement right here, really
it's over. So I'll let you all ask many questions
you like about this letter. For clarity, let's just get
this one thing straight. Why the double standard? This isn't
a letter about double standards at all. See the thing
(04:07):
that you're trying to make it is when he said
when he found when he put the note on the
windshield that said you can't do what I do, And
then she's going, well why can't I You're thinking that's
the double standard.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
This is not about double standards. This is a.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Straight gangster move he's pulling. He calm is all out doors.
I went and got me a side piece, chick, because
you be trying to control me. But now you're gonna
go out here and get you a side piece, dude,
and now when you bust it, y'all sitting up here
talking about why is this a double standard? No, this
is a gangster move, and you and I don't know
(04:46):
how you don't see this right here? This is him
telling you all in a one sided way, how it's
going to go. You have no options here. This isn't
double standard. This is a gangster move. Okay, so you
dating this, You seeing this side guy who's happily married,
(05:07):
but he don't get enough sex at home. You didn't
say you were happily married. You just said you only
get sex three times a month, but you get it
when you want it because you got this side dude.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
He winds and dines you.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Allows you to stay at four star hotels even when
he leave if you want to spend the night. I
don't know how you can be married and spend the
night at a hotel. I just don't understand that. This
is crazy. So and he go home every night because
he can't do that. I promise you his wife don't
know this. I give you my word on this right here.
(05:40):
So now you trying to feel good about yourself because
he winds and dines you before you have sex.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
He bought you some food and then y'all have sex.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Listen, If I hand you the money and you go
eat with it, I hand you the money and you
buy drugs with it, or you go drink with her,
you go buy a purse with it. It's a transaction,
y'all got Now he's polite to you, and you just
ain't standing on the street corner.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
But this is a transaction, and what you're getting out
of it is sex, and so is he.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
And it costs money and most people understand that, but
now you're trying to make it look like it's more
than that, because you're in a hotel.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Room, folk star so.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
And now you go out to the car, you find
a note on the car that says you can't do
what I do. Now you want to go back in
there to see if you could wait, I'll come back
and tell you yeah, And we ain't gonna have no
time for no questions.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
We'll have part two of your response coming up with
twenty three minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject
you can't do what I do.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show, Great news. Homeowners rates have dropped.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Now the longer you've owned your home, the more equity
you've built, and Rocket mortgage LLC licens than in fifty
states nmlsconsumer access dot Org number thirty thirty.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is you can't do what I do.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
This lady wants to know why the double standard because
she got busted cheating.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
This woman is married to her husband.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
They only have sex three times a month, she said
with him because she got a side dude, because she
wanted more than three times a month. The guys kind
to her gets her full star hotels. They always eat
before they have sex. And when he go home, he
lets her stay there all night. If you want to
the groom pay for you can't stay that past left though,
(07:55):
nky what room you and they got that signed on
the door? Checkout time is that you gotta read it
right by the peephole. So once he bught a room
that evening, he you gonna spend the night. That's what
hotel rooms are. And y'all order food. So so now
you have it set with this man. Now you go
to the hotel one night and you coming out to
(08:17):
go getting your truck, and you know that your husband's
You go get in your car. You know this. Your
husband's truck is PARSD right next to yours, and you
look at there's a note on the windshield that says
you can't do what I do. You go back in
the hotel to ask if your husband has a room.
That a lady at the front desk, being how women are,
y'all always try to be with each other, he she
(08:40):
can't tell you if he got a room there, but
she said there was a man that came in earlier
that said his wife is upstairs in the room, and
he got a room she told. She told, yeah, now,
so now I was so outdone because all it's time
(09:00):
he was cheating too.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Why you out done?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Why you out done? Because you got out dead? Is
that why you out done? Because you got out dead.
When I finally got up the nerve to talk to
him about the note, he was calm about it. He said,
there's no way he gonna allow his wife to run
around behind his back.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
He said, it's one.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Thing if he does it, because I made him cheat
the way I try to control him he told me,
either I stop cheating or I'll have to move out.
How can he say that to me if he's still
going to be stepping out on me? Why the double standard?
What do I do? There is no double standing. It's
a gangster move. Let me explain to you how me
a few sis. If I got out, If I got
(09:44):
a glass of water, and I asked Shirley, does she
want a drink?
Speaker 3 (09:50):
And she said yeah, she takes the silk.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
And because their friends, she might say Monica, would you
like a silk? And it's thirsty, and Monica might take
a sip of the water, and then Carling might take
the water, and they bring the glass back to me.
If I take my finger and I put my finger
in that glass, and then I let Tommy put his
finger in the glass, and then I let Jr. Put
(10:14):
his finger in the glass of the water, and then
I hand it to Shelly. Shelley, you want something, she
gonna say no, call it gonna say no. Monica can
see that's how sexy is. Cause see, once a man
looks at it like that, wants you to let some
people put put their finger in the water. That water
(10:34):
ain't the same no more. And that's how we say,
Cause see we could, we could take our finger and
dry it off and it never been in the water.
But once you put the finger in the water, it's
always in the water. You feel me, Can you understand
what I'm telling you?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
That's nasty.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
I take my finger out the water, I dried off.
It's like it's never been in the water. But once
you you had a water and a bunch of fingers
been in it, you can't. And that's what and so
that's what the double standard is. It's nothing else. Now
you are stupid, ma'am. If you gonna let him put
you out the house for cheating while he cheating, that's dumb.
(11:19):
How he busted you was brilliant. But you went back
in that to the hotel. What was you finna do?
That was domb Then you brought up the note to him.
He calm as hell now cause he got you. He
got you feeling some kind of way. Listen, this letter
makes no sense at all. You all don't have a
(11:42):
marriage because both of y'all have violated the marriage in
the most vile.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Way you can do, both of y'all. So just in
this you.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Don't want him, and he don't want you. But now
guess what I promise you. The marry dude ain't leaving his.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Wife yet can't go to him.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
He happily married. So this is not a double standard.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Man. You just got played, you got busted, and you
found out your husband was doing the same thing.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
That's all. It ain't no big.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Deal, all right, But I'm not leaving a note on
well if you if I'm married and you in the
room with somebody, when you come out, you will be
the note. But it won't be a windshield for you
to put it on. Yeah, your note gonna be on
top of the glass in the sun. Yeah, but it
(12:39):
ain't gonna be You ain't gonna have no stands where
I'm gonna tell you all that out and I'm gonna
be in my truck waiting on you to come out.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
All right, Thank you, Steve.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
This Saturday, I will be in my hometown of Chicago
for the ninth annual Sister Struck Pink Celebration in honor
of breast cancer awareness. It will be at the Salvation
Army Ray and Joan Kropp Community Center that's at twelve
to fifty West one hundred and nineteenth Street, on the
south Side.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
We start at ten am.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Hopefully I will see you there this Saturday, October fourth,
and you can post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter
at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check
out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app
Free Never Sounded So Good.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
You can download it.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Today you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
And write us.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
You know all that we could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Right here, right now. Buckle up, a hold on tight,
we got it. Pull you here. Its Strawberry Letters.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
That's right, nephew, this one could be your subject.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
You can't do what I do, Dear Stephen Shirley, My
husband and I were only having sex three times a month.
That may have been cool for him, but I get
it when I want it, just not from him. I've
had a man on the side for about four months
and I don't feel bad about it. My man on
the side is loving and thoughtful, and we stay. We
(00:52):
only stay in five star hotels. He whinds and dines
me before we make love, and he lets me stay
overnight in the room if he.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Has to leave.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
He's married and he's very happy in his marriage, but
he does not get enough sex at home either. I
used to feel bad about it, but I enjoy my
time with my side man. I thought I had it
all figured out until I came out of a hotel
late Saturday night, late one Saturday night, late on a
Saturday night, i should say, and I saw my husband's
(01:23):
truck park next to my car. I panicked and slowly
walked to my car. He left a note on my
windshield that said, you can't do what I do. I
called his phone to see where he was, but it
went straight to voicemail. I went back in the hotel
to see if my husband checked into a room. The
lady at the desk told me that she couldn't tell
(01:44):
me that, but she said a man came in that
night and commented that his wife was up in one
of the rooms at the hotel. I was so outdone
because all this time he was cheating too. When I
finally got up the nerve to talk to him about
the note, he was calm about it. He said that
there's no way he's going to allow his wife to
run around behind his back. He said, it's one thing
(02:07):
if he does it, because I made him cheat by
the way I try to control him. He told me,
either I stopped cheating, or I'll have to move out.
How can he say that to me if he's still
going to be stepping.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Out on me? Why the double standard? What do I do?
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Well?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Double standards have been around since the beginning of time.
They aren't going anywhere. I mean, you can ask all
you want, they're just not going. So I'm sure your husband.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Mean what he says. What do you do you ask? Well?
I think it depends on what you want.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Your husband already told you you can't do what he does.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
That's the double standard. He said. He cheats because you
try to control him.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
So unless you stop trying to control him, according to
your husband, he's gonna keep cheating. This makes no sense,
but it is what it is. That's what he said.
You know, you can't fix what's wrong with your marriage
by going outside of it cheating, and neither can he.
But that's what you guys have chosen to do, and
it is tearing your marriage apart. But the damage is
(03:11):
done now. This marriage is on life support. It's barely
hanging on. So the question is are you willing to
give up your side piece for the sake of your marriage?
Are you gonna let your husband put you out of
the house? Your house to stay with your other man.
I mean, those are the questions you have to ask
yourself or you know, I don't even know if this
(03:34):
marriage is savlegeable at this point because you guys.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Are both cheating.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
You don't want to give up your side piece, and
it doesn't sound like your husband is gonna stop cheating.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Steve, We're going to do this letter a little bit
differently because this is such an obvious letter to me.
By the time I make this statement right here, really
it's over. So I'll let you all ask many questions
you like about this letter. For clarity, let's just get
this one thing straight. Why the double standard? This isn't
a letter about double standards at all. See the thing
(04:07):
that you're trying to make it is when he said
when he found when he put the note on the
windshield that said you can't do what I do, And
then she's going, well why can't I You're thinking that's
the double standard.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
This is not about double standards. This is a.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Straight gangster move he's pulling. He calm is all out doors.
I went and got me a side piece, chick, because
you be trying to control me. But now you're gonna
go out here and get you a side piece, dude,
and now when you bust it, y'all sitting up here
talking about why is this a double standard? No, this
is a gangster move, and you and I don't know
(04:46):
how you don't see this right here? This is him
telling you all in a one sided way, how it's
going to go. You have no options here. This isn't
double standard. This is a gangster move. Okay, so you
dating this, You seeing this side guy who's happily married,
(05:07):
but he don't get enough sex at home. You didn't
say you were happily married. You just said you only
get sex three times a month, but you get it
when you want it because you got this side dude.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
He winds and dines you.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Allows you to stay at four star hotels even when
he leave if you want to spend the night. I
don't know how you can be married and spend the
night at a hotel. I just don't understand that. This
is crazy. So and he go home every night because
he can't do that. I promise you his wife don't
know this. I give you my word on this right here.
(05:40):
So now you trying to feel good about yourself because
he winds and dines you before you have sex.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
He bought you some food and then y'all have sex.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Listen, If I hand you the money and you go
eat with it, I hand you the money and you
buy drugs with it, or you go drink with her,
you go buy a purse with it. It's a transaction,
y'all got Now he's polite to you, and you just
ain't standing on the street corner.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
But this is a transaction, and what you're getting out
of it is sex, and so is he.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
And it costs money and most people understand that, but
now you're trying to make it look like it's more
than that, because you're in a hotel.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Room, folk star so.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
And now you go out to the car, you find
a note on the car that says you can't do
what I do. Now you want to go back in
there to see if you could wait, I'll come back
and tell you yeah, And we ain't gonna have no
time for no questions.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
We'll have part two of your response coming up with
twenty three minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject
you can't do what I do.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show, Great news. Homeowners rates have dropped.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Now the longer you've owned your home, the more equity
you've built, and Rocket mortgage LLC licens than in fifty
states nmlsconsumer access dot Org number thirty thirty.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is you can't do what I do.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
This lady wants to know why the double standard because
she got busted cheating.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
This woman is married to her husband.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
They only have sex three times a month, she said
with him because she got a side dude, because she
wanted more than three times a month. The guys kind
to her gets her full star hotels. They always eat
before they have sex. And when he go home, he
lets her stay there all night. If you want to
the groom pay for you can't stay that past left though,
(07:55):
nky what room you and they got that signed on
the door? Checkout time is that you gotta read it
right by the peephole. So once he bught a room
that evening, he you gonna spend the night. That's what
hotel rooms are. And y'all order food. So so now
you have it set with this man. Now you go
to the hotel one night and you coming out to
(08:17):
go getting your truck, and you know that your husband's
You go get in your car. You know this. Your
husband's truck is PARSD right next to yours, and you
look at there's a note on the windshield that says
you can't do what I do. You go back in
the hotel to ask if your husband has a room.
That a lady at the front desk, being how women are,
y'all always try to be with each other, he she
(08:40):
can't tell you if he got a room there, but
she said there was a man that came in earlier
that said his wife is upstairs in the room, and
he got a room she told. She told, yeah, now,
so now I was so outdone because all it's time
(09:00):
he was cheating too.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Why you out done?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Why you out done? Because you got out dead? Is
that why you out done? Because you got out dead.
When I finally got up the nerve to talk to
him about the note, he was calm about it. He said,
there's no way he gonna allow his wife to run
around behind his back.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
He said, it's one.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Thing if he does it, because I made him cheat
the way I try to control him he told me,
either I stop cheating or I'll have to move out.
How can he say that to me if he's still
going to be stepping out on me? Why the double standard?
What do I do? There is no double standing. It's
a gangster move. Let me explain to you how me
a few sis. If I got out, If I got
(09:44):
a glass of water, and I asked Shirley, does she
want a drink?
Speaker 3 (09:50):
And she said yeah, she takes the silk.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
And because their friends, she might say Monica, would you
like a silk? And it's thirsty, and Monica might take
a sip of the water, and then Carling might take
the water, and they bring the glass back to me.
If I take my finger and I put my finger
in that glass, and then I let Tommy put his
finger in the glass, and then I let Jr. Put
(10:14):
his finger in the glass of the water, and then
I hand it to Shelly. Shelley, you want something, she
gonna say no, call it gonna say no. Monica can
see that's how sexy is. Cause see, once a man
looks at it like that, wants you to let some
people put put their finger in the water. That water
(10:34):
ain't the same no more. And that's how we say,
Cause see we could, we could take our finger and
dry it off and it never been in the water.
But once you put the finger in the water, it's
always in the water. You feel me, Can you understand
what I'm telling you?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
That's nasty.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
I take my finger out the water, I dried off.
It's like it's never been in the water. But once
you you had a water and a bunch of fingers
been in it, you can't. And that's what and so
that's what the double standard is. It's nothing else. Now
you are stupid, ma'am. If you gonna let him put
you out the house for cheating while he cheating, that's dumb.
(11:19):
How he busted you was brilliant. But you went back
in that to the hotel. What was you finna do?
That was domb Then you brought up the note to him.
He calm as hell now cause he got you. He
got you feeling some kind of way. Listen, this letter
makes no sense at all. You all don't have a
(11:42):
marriage because both of y'all have violated the marriage in
the most vile.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Way you can do, both of y'all. So just in
this you.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Don't want him, and he don't want you. But now
guess what I promise you. The marry dude ain't leaving his.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Wife yet can't go to him.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
He happily married. So this is not a double standard.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Man. You just got played, you got busted, and you
found out your husband was doing the same thing.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
That's all. It ain't no big.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Deal, all right, But I'm not leaving a note on
well if you if I'm married and you in the
room with somebody, when you come out, you will be
the note. But it won't be a windshield for you
to put it on. Yeah, your note gonna be on
top of the glass in the sun. Yeah, but it
(12:39):
ain't gonna be You ain't gonna have no stands where
I'm gonna tell you all that out and I'm gonna
be in my truck waiting on you to come out.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
All right, Thank you, Steve.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
This Saturday, I will be in my hometown of Chicago
for the ninth annual Sister Struck Pink Celebration in honor
of breast cancer awareness. It will be at the Salvation
Army Ray and Joan Kropp Community Center that's at twelve
to fifty West one hundred and nineteenth Street, on the
south Side.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
We start at ten am.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Hopefully I will see you there this Saturday, October fourth,
and you can post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter
at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check
out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app
Free Never Sounded So Good.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
You can download it.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Today you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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