FULL SHOW: NYE Comedy Roulette, Strawberry Letter: What's So Darn Funny? - 1.2.26 - The Steve Harvey Morning Show

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today show is pre recorded. Y'all know what time. Y'all
don't know y'all at all at all, So given them
all black the bus buss boozy.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Ye listening to.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Show to.

Speaker 4 (00:39):
Joy?

Speaker 5 (00:50):
Yeah, Joy.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Show?

Speaker 6 (00:58):
You know you.

Speaker 7 (01:06):
Love?

Speaker 8 (01:06):
You got turn?

Speaker 3 (01:27):
Well, I can't.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
I got to turn the mouth turn. You probably got
to turn mouth turn A wad of the money up.

Speaker 5 (01:55):
Come.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Come out? You think that, Ah, I sure will. Good
morning everybody.

Speaker 9 (02:04):
You're listening to the voice, come on, dig me now,
one and only Steve Harvey got a radio show.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
I want to share something with you this morning.

Speaker 9 (02:15):
In order for God to bless you, you have to
you have to have something you know and and and
that means I guess, I guess what I'm saying is
God can only bless you by your faith and your effort.
That's the only way He can bless you, by your

(02:35):
faith and your effort. Now, because of his grace, he
gives us so many things that we don't even we
don't ask for, we don't thank him for.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
You know, we don't even have on the list.

Speaker 7 (02:50):
You know.

Speaker 9 (02:51):
Oftentimes, you know many of us have health. We never
thank him for it. We get another opportunity to wake
up the next day. We never thank him for it.
We take so many small things because of his grace,
we just take for granted, like it's just supposed to
pop off for us, just like that. Okay, including that,

(03:12):
what all this wonderful things he does us and he
blesses us even far beyond our wildest dreams. I'm talking
about myself now and a lot of you listening without
us confiding or conferring in him, he still watches over
up watches over us. I'm talking to all of us now.
Here is what you get blessed on through your faith

(03:35):
and your efforts. I mean, he really gives you give
him something to work with. This what I'm saying, He's
gonna do certain things for us automatically because he just
loves us.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
He automatically does.

Speaker 9 (03:49):
Things for us that we take so for granted that
a lot of people are not experiencing because the day
time is up or whatever. I don't know the reason,
but whatever the case, but he does so many things
for us.

Speaker 7 (03:59):
All.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Imagine what could happen to you if you just gave
him a little bit to work with You ever thought
about that?

Speaker 9 (04:08):
Suppose this idea that's been burning on the inside of you.
Suppose you just started it today and don't wait to
start an idea when you can figure it all the
way through, because you'll never get started.

Speaker 7 (04:23):
You know.

Speaker 9 (04:24):
It cripples so many people because they think of how
to start their business. Then they look all the way
down the road or the loans they gonna need, and
they don't know nobody and they credit bad, so they stopped.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
They never started.

Speaker 9 (04:37):
What would happen had you ever thought if you just
started do the part of the business that you could do,
and ask God to lead you and guide you to
the next step, that that thing called faith, the belief
in things that you cannot see. Suppose you just started
out on faith, You just stepped out the water, stepped
out the boat and stood on the water, just on faith,

(04:59):
seeing that is rough, but just believing that He would
take care of you, just believing that he would get
you through, just believing that He would lead you to
the next step.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
Start.

Speaker 9 (05:10):
If you just started, man, you would then give God
something to put his finger on and to bless. People
say to me all the time, man, man, Steve, it
seemed like everything you do work, man.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
Do you know what it is? Really?

Speaker 9 (05:26):
I just lose the fear of failing, and I start.
I don't know how to do all of this. Come on, Man,
if I could have told you ten years ago, or
there's no way I could have told you, I'd be
why i'm today. But if anyone had come to me
and said, Steve, in ten years you will be doing this, that, this,

(05:47):
that and the other, they will recognize you here. You'll
get this recognized recognition, you'll get this award, and you'll
be living like this.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
I'd have just looked at them like they was crazy.
I really would have.

Speaker 7 (05:58):
Man.

Speaker 9 (05:59):
It's not that I didn't have the faith, it's just
that in my imagination I didn't see it. I've always
believed in God, I just didn't see things for myself. See,
I didn't open myself up to what God had for me.
I was just living my life based on what I
could see for me. When I stopped worried about what

(06:21):
I could see for me and started allowing God to
do what he could do for me, it changed my
whole existence because I've found out that God's plan was
way better than mine.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
But you got to start something. You got to give God.

Speaker 9 (06:36):
Something to put his finger on that might's touched where
it turned into something.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
You got to let your imagination go.

Speaker 9 (06:45):
You got to let your imagination fly as wild as
it can fly without being constricted by the confines of
where you live and what color you are, and what
sex you are, and how much money you make and
what your degree say. You got to let your imagination
fly beyond that. You got to go for it. You
got to step out on faith and you got to

(07:05):
go for it. Oh and did I mention you got
to pray. Don't want to lead that out? Then you
got to seek understanding. Man, read Proverbs. Proverbs is a
great book to start with out. You know, I guess
other people got other worse I'm just telling you about me. Man,
it's probably some better places to start.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
I don't know.

Speaker 9 (07:25):
Proverbs was to start for me, the book of wisdom
and understanding that helped develop my thought process, which helped
me become fairly successful. Proverbs teaches you everything you need
to know. And if you can't read the King James version,
get you one of them translated Bibles. What difference it
makes long as you hear what he's saying to you.

(07:46):
Oh and did I mention, don't forget to pray and
then take the idea, the business, the journey you want
to embark on and break it down inch by inch
anythings and such. Just start with the peace that you
can do. Okay, you don't know how you go get
the loan. When it's time for the loan, what part

(08:06):
you can you design the business card? Can you make
a YouTube video and post it? Can you start telling
people that you're associated with this is what you do now?
You could start somewhere. You can get a gig somewhere
doing something. Somebody will pay you for the service right now,
and then simplify it, take it and break it down

(08:27):
to the lowest common denominatorqut trying to figure it all out?

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Simplify it? What can I do now? I can't figure
this out. It's too complex, it's too difficult, it's too
many levels.

Speaker 10 (08:37):
Quit tripping on that.

Speaker 9 (08:38):
Do the part you can do, but start, man, Just
get started today. Stop delaying it. Every time you put
it off, you see further away from it, don't you.
Why won't you start that your imagination? Go open it up.
You know, if you can't imagine, god show can Einstein

(08:59):
said it one time, he said that imagination is everything.
It's the preview to life's coming attractions? Oh is that crazy?
Is that crazy? Do you know that everything we do
somebody imagined it? But do you know when they imagine
if somebody laughed at them. Man, I'm gonna make a
car that you can sit on it and automatically drive
in the wheels a rod. Who gonna do that? Okay,

(09:23):
here we go, We all ride in cars. Man, I'm
gonna fly. I'm gonna make something that will take people
far away in the air. People board flights every day. Man,
somebody sat up there and looked at that moon and said, Man,
one day, I'm going to the moon. He talking about going.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
To the moon.

Speaker 9 (09:40):
They take people to the moon all the time. Imagination
is everything. It's the preview to life's coming attractions. Or
are you imagining for yourself? What do you see coming?
What's your coming attractions? I'm so grateful I change mine.
Oh I see being because I see God.

Speaker 10 (09:56):
Come on, y'all, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
Let me have your undivided attention. This is a new day.
We in a new year.

Speaker 9 (10:11):
We got a new chance, This a new shot, This
is a new beginning. This is a day of affirmation.
This is a time for gratitude, attitude, and altitude, ladies
and gentlemen. This is Steve hard Morning. Sure anybody playing
with y'all. Y'all need to get your mind right, man,
wrap your mind around this thing. Man, stop looking at

(10:32):
what's wrong and start taking some focus on what's right,
because there are some things that's right that's going on
in your life. I don't care how bad it appears.
You could have believed there's something right going on in
your life and if you can find it in the
middle of your crisis, in the middle of your darkness.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
To thank him.

Speaker 9 (10:49):
Anyway, boy, watch what happened to you. I'm just telling
you what I know. These ain't no guessing, I ain't
throwing out no new theories or nothing like this. I'm
telling you what I know, man, about the power of
positive thinking, the power of meditation, and the power of prayer.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
Ain't nothing bigger, ain't nothing bigger.

Speaker 9 (11:10):
Steve Harvey Morning Show shirtar strawberry color for real, Mouth
of the South, the legend that is Nephew Tommy and
yours truly.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Good morning, everybody, Come on morning morn. Yes it's Friday.

Speaker 9 (11:25):
Though it's Friday, Friday, boy, boy, Classic Radio.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Freedom, Oh my god, Freedom classic Radio.

Speaker 7 (11:42):
Man.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Want to Freedom Friday. For those of you that weren't
aware of what it was.

Speaker 9 (11:47):
Was on certain fridays, I would call it Freedom Friday.
I would play anything I wanted to play. Music wise,
we took out all the segments and it was just
a Steve Harvey jam session. Sometimes me and Paula would
get together and throw out some jam. Me and Shall

(12:09):
would throw out some jam I didn't know, but two jams.
So we let him Playnsonbing.

Speaker 4 (12:22):
So many pace.

Speaker 11 (12:25):
In my life and time. This song a lot of
songs I've made some man rhys.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
You know something man?

Speaker 9 (12:36):
When that song when Temptations redid that song and they
did it in the album nineteen seventy one. A Song
for You was the name of the album.

Speaker 10 (12:49):
Yeah, I remember I used.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
To stand in that mirror. Man. My father would go
to work. I was standing in that mirror and sing
that song and that line ten thousand people watching, come
on boy, he all alone? Yeah, And I was. I
was actually singing affirmation into my life.

Speaker 9 (13:10):
I just always thought somebody would be watching me when
I was a little boy, even with the stutter, I said,
they're gonna have to be here for a while.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
But you know the stuttering. If I don't fix this study,
this show gonna be long as hell.

Speaker 12 (13:24):
And you're lower way, Steve, You're on your way. You
were right, You're you gonna be something one day.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
I'm trying Sureley all right?

Speaker 12 (13:32):
Coming up in thirty two minutes after the hour, we'll
hear from the nephew as he runs that brank back
right after this.

Speaker 9 (13:40):
Good morning, Happy New Year from the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It's gonna be a good in y'all.

Speaker 10 (13:47):
You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 8 (13:54):
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Speaker 13 (14:17):
Delivery restrictions applying. Next day delivery available on select mattresses
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Speaker 12 (14:23):
All right, and it's time now to start your morning
off with the nephew and run that brank back.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
What you got for is neft CPS? Oh yah, protective
run agat.

Speaker 7 (14:35):
Hello, Hello, I'm trying to speak to the man at
the house. Please, it's me, mister Jason. You've gotten all right?
How you doing, sir? All right? Who's this? My name
is Mark, Mark? Giving you a call actually from Child
Protective Services. How's your day going today so far? I'm good?

Speaker 4 (14:56):
Would are you sure you call in the right please?

Speaker 7 (14:58):
Yeah? Definitely? You you you you're you're mister Jason, correct?

Speaker 4 (15:02):
Correct?

Speaker 7 (15:02):
All right? Now your your your girlfriend or your wife.
I'm not sure if you guys are married or not,
as missus Stephanie, I presume right, but.

Speaker 4 (15:11):
Uh that's it's my girl. But saying their last name.
But now you said you call them from where again?

Speaker 7 (15:18):
Child Protective Services?

Speaker 4 (15:19):
Sir?

Speaker 7 (15:20):
And uh really what's going on here, uh Jason, is
that you you guys have five children of my correct Okay, okay,
Now what we're having is we're getting, ah, we've been getting, sir,
a few reports that these kids aren't being taken care
of properly.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
No no, no, no, no, no, no report from where
you know we we take care of these kids that
ain't and shouldn't nobody be seating you on no garbage
like that, that we ain't taking care of no kids. No,
we got five kids. It's hard out here, and we
take care of them kids.

Speaker 7 (15:55):
I don't know, sir, we're getting sir, We're getting reports
that you got guys are not feeding them properly, that
some nights and some days these kids actually go without eating.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Uh.

Speaker 7 (16:06):
That they don't have proper clothing attire.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
All them kids, every last one of the kids, they
wear a designer they you know, fashionable?

Speaker 3 (16:17):
Is nah?

Speaker 4 (16:18):
Ain't nobody not taking care of the kids. I don't
even know where you're getting that from.

Speaker 7 (16:21):
Are you guys? Actually? Are you combing their hair and
brushing their teeth in the morning?

Speaker 4 (16:25):
And come on, man, like, is it you gotta be?

Speaker 7 (16:31):
No, I'm not. Actually that leads me to something else.
I've actually had a visit with the at the school today,
and I visit with a couple of the children. Now,
the younger son. I met with him today and we
talked and I asked him a few questions, uh, I said,
I told him, I said, I have a few more
questions I want you to answer and to be honest

(16:53):
with you, mister Jason. He he he stood up and
looked me in the eye and said that, and and
I just I was blown away by it. And I said, wait,
an excuse me. What did you say? You're what I said?
I said that, yeah, But but now now I'm from
my understanding, I asked him, I said, where did you
hear that kind of language? Being? Said? Where did you

(17:14):
hear that from? And he said he heard it from
his father at home.

Speaker 4 (17:17):
That's like, I don't talk like that around my kids.
That's that's a bunch of like that.

Speaker 7 (17:23):
You're here, you are saying it. Now, you're cursing.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
Now I'm cussing to you. But I don't cuss them
up kids like that. I don't talk to my kids
like that.

Speaker 7 (17:32):
Man, sir, If you're talking like this in front of me,
the nine times out of TEA is doing it in
front of the kids as well.

Speaker 4 (17:38):
Hold on, hold on, hold on, holder, listen. I'm a
grown man. You can't you calling me telling me about
my kids, and you're gonna tell me how I can't
talk to you. I don't talk around my kids like that.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.

Speaker 7 (17:51):
Sir, let me, let me, let me bring this to
a nutshell for you. What we're doing today is we
are coming by there and we're going to we're gonna
have to bring all five kids.

Speaker 4 (18:01):
And uh uh hold hold on listen, you coming to
get who five kids? You're not coming? Listen to this now,
I'm gonna keep it real with you now. I've been
trying to hold my composure since you got on the phone.
First of all, I don't appreciate you calling me like this.

Speaker 7 (18:18):
Wit, No like this. Now.

Speaker 4 (18:21):
The first three those ain't mine. They dad live up
the street. You might go find him in the pool
hall somewhere. You're not coming to get them last too, Sir.

Speaker 7 (18:28):
I'm coming to get all five children. Sir, listen to this.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
You will not be coming to get those last two.
I can guarantee you you won't be coming to get
those last two.

Speaker 7 (18:38):
I have to bring all five children. And that's just
that's my assignment. That's what has to be done.

Speaker 4 (18:45):
Okay, let me can check this out, assignment my if
you step foot up here. Look, I'm not gonna even
keep playing myself. Man. I do what I'm supposed to
do by all those kids. You not taking those last
two out of here.

Speaker 7 (18:58):
I'm taking all five children. Are you hearing me?

Speaker 4 (19:01):
Hey? Check this out? Are you listening to me? Of
you talking to I'm like, keep raising your voice that
like I'm a grown man. You better slow it up.
I don't give who you are.

Speaker 7 (19:14):
You better not be calling me with that, sir. I'm
bringing a van in there at four o'clock and we're
hollering needy kids in the protective services.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
You want to say that I know you what Let
it hold on? Let me tell you something. See that's
where your stuff at. And you wanna tell me what
time you coming down here? That's some real gases bringing
yours down here at four o'clock. I swear to God
I will be waiting on you.

Speaker 7 (19:38):
I don't want any problems. I'm letting you know that.

Speaker 4 (19:41):
No problem is my four o'clock show up at four o'clock.
Huh get four o'clock. Ain't nothing else to talk about?

Speaker 7 (19:47):
Now? Tell there is there is.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
I want you to have all the kids things packed.
Anybody listen, don't talk about it, be about it. Okay,
don't talk about me no more?

Speaker 7 (19:57):
Be about it.

Speaker 4 (19:57):
Four o'clock. You're gonna have a life. Skit all over
your four crop.

Speaker 7 (20:01):
So I got I got one more thing I need
to say to you before I know I get there
to tell Okay.

Speaker 4 (20:05):
I don't want to hear that four a crop.

Speaker 7 (20:07):
So I got one more thing I want to say
to you.

Speaker 4 (20:10):
Four o'clock. Say it, man, five o'clock. That's what I
got to say to you.

Speaker 7 (20:13):
But I got one more thing to say to you.
Can I say it?

Speaker 4 (20:15):
Say it? Say it?

Speaker 7 (20:17):
This is nephew Tomy from the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
You just got prank, baby, You just got pranked by
your sister. Who listen, Jason, This is nephew taught me
from the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 4 (20:35):
Man listen, hey, listen. I'm gonna tell you, Hey, your
sister receive to put me up to this man. And look,
Regina Needa, that's why I don't need that happy man.
Y'all playing games with me. Got these kids over here
struggling like excuse me?

Speaker 7 (20:53):
I mean I heard it.

Speaker 4 (20:54):
Be glad you share it? You you you was a nephew.
Tell me because somebody pulls up there at four o'clock,
they was getting the muffles stop in the top of
the wood. I wouldn't plan that you know, damn you're
scared to hell out of me. That's just point blank man.

Speaker 7 (21:13):
Man, I gotta ask you, man, what is the baddest
radio show in the land?

Speaker 4 (21:18):
Oh Man, Steve Harvey Morning Show. Man.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
You can thank me later.

Speaker 12 (21:23):
I'll be back on another hour with some more welcome
stupid thank you not coming up next.

Speaker 10 (21:28):
It is ask the COLO.

Speaker 12 (21:30):
Our chief love Officer, Steve Harvey is in the building
and he's waiting and ready for your love questions.

Speaker 10 (21:36):
Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 8 (21:44):
Nothing's worse than pet's bouncing on and off your bed
on cold nights.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
Waking you up every time.

Speaker 8 (21:50):
Mattress Firms sleep experts can match you with a bed
like a temper pedic with a unique material that absorbs
motion for undisturbed rest.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Shop mattress firms once.

Speaker 8 (22:01):
A year's sale and clearance and save up to five
hundred dollars on select and repeeding mattresses with next day.

Speaker 13 (22:08):
Delivery restrictions apply. Next day delivery available and select mattresses
and subject to location. Ce store for details.

Speaker 12 (22:15):
It is time to ask the CLO. This one's from
Shay in Southfield, she says. In December My boyfriend said
he needed a break after he had a major health scare,
and instead of letting me be there for him, he
chose space. I gave him space, and I spent the
New Year's Eve with an X. Does he have the
right to be mad at me?

Speaker 7 (22:34):
God?

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Wow? Wow? He he needed space?

Speaker 10 (22:39):
What's the girl to do?

Speaker 1 (22:40):
He needed space? And you spent New Year's Eve with
an X? Woe?

Speaker 14 (22:46):
Yep?

Speaker 9 (22:48):
So I guess you took that to see what you
were again, Junior. That's a prime example right there. See,
he expressed himself and said he needed space. Now I
guess what you see?

Speaker 1 (22:57):
Who do that?

Speaker 9 (22:58):
It's a trap question? So if you need space, then
I need more space. See that's all the trap. Dog
don't don't, don't even fall from that.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
Does he have a right to be mad? Yeah?

Speaker 9 (23:11):
Yeah, he got a right to be mad because he
asked for space. He didn't ask y'all to start dating
other people. And I don't know what the health scire was,
but you know you gave him space.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, all rights.

Speaker 10 (23:36):
Jeremy and Charlotte.

Speaker 12 (23:38):
Jeremy says, my wife and I met at work and
used to have sex in her car when we first met.
She wants to be a socialite really bad now, and
the sweet things that I've always done for her aren't
good enough?

Speaker 4 (23:50):
Now?

Speaker 10 (23:51):
Would I be wrong to give her a reality check?

Speaker 9 (23:54):
Well, bro, I don't understand what you're saying, because the
sweet things you used to do for her the only
thing you told us y'all had sex in the car.
Now she wants to be a socialite, but you still
won't have sex in the car for.

Speaker 7 (24:10):
Ye.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
So so what did you saying? Brother?

Speaker 7 (24:12):
Y'all?

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Y'all drive down to the socialite ball.

Speaker 7 (24:15):
For you go in.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
You knock it out of the car right quick before
you go in. She don't want to do that. I
don't really know what you're saying, bro, because I don't.

Speaker 9 (24:24):
You didn't give us no example of all the kind
little things you've done for You made one statement, we
used to have sex in the car for we got married.
Now we're mad. She want to be a social a LIKEE.
Now she don't want to do She don't appreciate the
little things I've done for her. So I'm just assuming
she done took sex in the car off the table?

Speaker 7 (24:40):
You just.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
Now no oh oh oh now she boogy now oh,
Now you don't want to get you don't want to
get rolled over in the car.

Speaker 11 (24:51):
No more?

Speaker 1 (24:52):
Okay, Oh you acting brand new now, I be all right.
Well it's sound right, bro. Next on's you. Moving on
to Marlee and the d m V.

Speaker 12 (25:11):
Marley writes, my husband stayed out all night Saturday night
and he said he was in a casino and lost
track of time. I tried to go off on him,
and he turned it around on me, saying I should
have called and checked on him.

Speaker 10 (25:23):
Does he have a valid point or is this a
cover up?

Speaker 1 (25:27):
Absolutely? He has a valid point. Absolutely.

Speaker 9 (25:34):
First of all, there are no clocks in the casino nowhere.
You can lose track of time in the casino. I
have done it many times and then call.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Call for what you Okay, Yeah, you should have called
and checked on me. Wasn't no car. You ain't on
me to call.

Speaker 9 (26:01):
I'm gambling. I'm trying to change your circumstances. I'm out
here trying to crack the bed and you.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
Sitting up in here dog and me because I'm here
trying to handle beers and stuff. Bru ibby. Yeah, he
has a valid point.

Speaker 9 (26:14):
And you know what, if you're not gonna check on him,
you can't expect him to call and he was in
a casino and he lost track of time. That sounds
very very valid to me. Plus you have no proof
of anything else happening. Are you now your little mind
and playing tricks on you?

Speaker 10 (26:31):
Here we go last one, Steve. This is from Trina
and Phoenix.

Speaker 12 (26:34):
Trina says, I met a man online eight months ago
and he's tired of our long distance relationship. I suggested
he moved to Phoenix and he said there aren't enough
black people here. That's that's a dumb excuse to me.
But why hasn't he asked me to move to Atlanta?

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Well, you got two things working here.

Speaker 9 (26:56):
He is absolutely correct that he not coming out to
Phoenix cause ain't enough black people out that that's one
of the major reasons I'm not going to ever move
to Phoenix. And I'm not going to a state that
fights against the day off a holiday. That's racism at
a whole nother level. So I had he has a
valid point. There are not enough black people in Phoenix,
and the reason you ain't coming to Atlanta is because

(27:17):
there's too many black people in Atlanta.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
Is one more y'all? He fooled. He full of Atlanta.

Speaker 7 (27:31):
Boy.

Speaker 9 (27:32):
You saw he online dating too, girl. I told him
to come to Phoenix. He tied a relationship, but now
he said, see but see, lady, guess what. You're not
listening to what he said. He said he tied oft
a long this relationship. He ain't saying he wanted to
close the gap. All he told you was he tired

(27:52):
of the long just relationship. You suggested he moved to Phoenix.
He say, ain't enough black people like that. Now you
want to know why he ain't asked you moved to
Atlanta because he tied at the long this is relationship.
And guess who the relationship with?

Speaker 4 (28:05):
You?

Speaker 1 (28:07):
See why why y'all don't read the whole message. The
reason he's not asking you to come to Atlanta because
he tied at the long this is relationship. That's well said.
I'm tired of you, just a nice way of saying
it is that what it is? You know me, and
you know me, and you know we avoid You know
how we really got to be the bad guy night, Julie,

(28:30):
pay attention to me.

Speaker 10 (28:32):
I pay attention to that, all right, pay.

Speaker 9 (28:35):
Attention to see how he did it. I'm tired this long,
this relationship, you move the fingers. Ain't enough black people?
Well okay, then.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
All right, all right, Well.

Speaker 15 (28:45):
Mister Steve Arbin Martin show Man, if he was going
to commit a robbery, who would you do with Shirley
a caller?

Speaker 1 (28:52):
How would you Why we're.

Speaker 9 (28:54):
Here, Colin, hands down, We stopped ask this question. Sully
got cut problem. First of all, she don't cuss. Now,
how we gonna get everybody in the flow at the robbery?
And you don't want to cuss at the.

Speaker 10 (29:09):
Mind guys, we need everyone to get on the floor.

Speaker 9 (29:12):
No, see, you need somebody to cuss. That's how you
get them in the floor. That's the first problem.

Speaker 4 (29:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
Secondly, when I hollered, yeah, bote it down.

Speaker 9 (29:21):
Yeah, then here comes the correction, Steve, it's everyone Okay,
Now we got another problem.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
Then number three, she's scary. Yeah, it's just a real
scary person. And then she bugy she all at the
robbery with heels on and stuff, got a mid drift
top on and all this heit. What is you doing crop?

Speaker 7 (29:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:51):
Yeah, I don't though.

Speaker 9 (29:55):
I need calling somebody in. There's gonna be hood. And
then the last thing, sure too, honest, Yes it was
us what we don't have video.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
It's okay, it was us. I cannot lie. Yeah, call
it be in the line.

Speaker 9 (30:15):
Got a mask on and thrust everybody out, shot somebody
in the leg.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
We're gonna come out of that, was it? You know
that's her favorite word, allegedly, don't tell the truth up
right after?

Speaker 8 (30:37):
All?

Speaker 10 (30:37):
Right, So I have a question for you guys, Steve.

Speaker 12 (30:39):
You know, we just had big holidays, big family, traditional
holidays like we do for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Maybe not
as big as in the past, but still people over
the house. So here's a question. What do you say
to let your company know that you're ready for them
to leave the house? Yeah, really saying that you're ready

(31:01):
for them to leave?

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Well, I guess that's it, Younger. Going on to night,
I do like the club? Do I start diming lights
that last call? Yeah, I start dialming lights and cutting
music off. We're going in this year. We're gonna let
you know it's a difference going on.

Speaker 4 (31:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
Yeah, Steve is pretty direct.

Speaker 9 (31:27):
You don't have to he direct. Yes, I go to
the cot closet. Next thing, you know, you see me.
I just got a handful of jackets. Hey, which one
of these yours?

Speaker 11 (31:36):
Dog.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
He did get in get into ben.

Speaker 8 (31:45):
What he did that in New York when we steve
when we were the New York remember that, Timmy, he
was a hard party. You wanted us to come over
then just we thought we were having a good time
playing cards. He just went to the coat closet and
just started throwing us coke.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
What with Jackie George time jack Okay, cool, that's the
best way to do it, you know. He said, y'all finished,
and he was picking up our plates. And then that's
around the table just hey, you know hey.

Speaker 9 (32:20):
And then you know, once people see other people start
putting their jacket on, you know, it kind of kind
of it gets contagious.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
You did have to go. I was trying to be
kind to you.

Speaker 9 (32:32):
Shurey, get on out now because you stay up in here,
and tell you right now, tell me what about. Ain't
no free morning coffee up in here, so you need
your coat, Shirley to get your coat.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
Call this child, let's go, let's go, let's get on
out of here. He let's wrap this up.

Speaker 9 (32:48):
Tell you right now, ain't no free cups of coffee
in the morning up in there. This ain't comfident in
what you're doing. If you drink your coffee in the
morning and here you're gonna work for it. All right,
let's go.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
You had heard it, You got it? Look up of coffee.
Don't be up in here. You're gonna need on all
kind of stuff in the morning. Can just get out
a mess?

Speaker 9 (33:11):
Get your coat, baby. I respect y'all too much. Come on,
get your coat. And now I got too much respect
for you. Come on, ladies, let's get your coat. Because
you're up in this apartment at one am. I'm telling
you right now, there's some stuff that go down up here.
Come on, let's go. Let's get your jackets home. I'll
respect you too much. Please get out for one am, please, please.

Speaker 12 (33:33):
So here's a question for you, guys. How attractive or
handsome are you really? A new survey from super drug
Online Doctor found on average, men rate themselves a five
point nine on an overall attractiveness scale of one to ten.
Only forty two percent of men are happy with their looks.

(33:54):
Some other interesting findings of the survey are this, men
think the ideal height is six feet and the perfect
weight is around one hundred and sixty eight pounds.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
One hundred and sixty eight six freet what.

Speaker 10 (34:10):
You went to weight? Tell me when to hyde?

Speaker 1 (34:12):
Okay, I ain't none of this right, Wait a minute,
six feet, one hundred and sixty eight pounds. That's guineas
all get out. That's the perfect one. Nobody want to
weigh on one sixty eight. That's hungry. That's what that is.
You know, if I weighed one hundred and sixty eight pounds,
how all you see?

Speaker 3 (34:30):
Six two one sixty eight? Ain't no long I'd actually
try to whip you one to sixty eight. I went
to actually try, and.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
You probably could. I have to run the weak.

Speaker 9 (34:42):
But let's get out of this, this number out of
it like I would. On the scale of one to ten,
I think I'm reading by like a six or six
point two.

Speaker 12 (34:51):
Okay, that was right in that average five. That's why
I you know, junior, what about you on a scale?

Speaker 15 (34:57):
I just want to thank the study for the point
now because I was fast? Oh okay about a fast?

Speaker 9 (35:03):
What's on the scale of one to ten where most
men find themselves the average man says five point nine?

Speaker 10 (35:11):
Yeah, so I said it was six sixteen.

Speaker 9 (35:14):
I'm six two all the way around, six two in
high six two in looks on the scale of one
to ten.

Speaker 10 (35:19):
Okay, what about your junior?

Speaker 15 (35:21):
I thought I just about a five, you know, but
they gave me point nine, just the average I'll take.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
They gave you. Don't have to take that point now.
All right on back to that side where you're healing.

Speaker 12 (35:31):
All right, let's get to it. Let's get to the
Netflix scale of one to ten. How do you rate yourself.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Nine point eight?

Speaker 3 (35:39):
The hell, man, Jesus, you got all the hookliness out
the wait shure, I'm nine point and you've got to
be kidding.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
The last time I know who I am.

Speaker 10 (35:53):
Nine point you're confident.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
I'm comfortable with me. I'm nine point eight. We're talking
you probably about like a two. There ain't no two.
But okay, Charley calling, Well, where where I'm at? Not
nine point eight?

Speaker 10 (36:10):
Yeah, I think you're with the other guys.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
I think, yes, I ain't with them, these two people
that think they know they.

Speaker 15 (36:18):
No, no, no, no, we're not thinking.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
I think really our number is our heighten how I'm
five so five tea five four? I'm not I'm not.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
About it.

Speaker 1 (36:38):
I'll be honest. Okay, honestly, you're looking at right now?
What you're looking at and I'm just gonna do this
because he's my nephew family. Oh, I'm getting the current
of the package at him, the whole package. Well, he
lose something in height because the average man think the
idea height at six. So he lose he two inches
off that, and so he.

Speaker 10 (36:59):
Got to be on the five can a scale of
one to ten.

Speaker 9 (37:01):
I'm on scale of one to ten in terms of looks.
He about a six. All I'm talking about broke, it's hot.
I'm talking about a hard six. I'm talking about creeping in.
I'm talking about like somebody said five eight, that would
be a debate.

Speaker 10 (37:19):

Speaker 8 (37:26):
Nothing's worse than pets bouncing on and off your bed
on cold nights, waking you.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
Up every time.

Speaker 8 (37:32):
Mattress firms sleep experts can match you with a bed
motion for undisturbed rest.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
Shop mattress firms once a.

Speaker 8 (37:44):
Year's sale and clearance and save up to five hundred
dollars on select temperpeding mattresses with next.

Speaker 13 (37:50):
Day delivery Restrictions apply. Next day delivery available on select
mattresses and subject to location see store for details.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
It is time now for a round of would you rather?

Speaker 3 (38:00):
There?

Speaker 12 (38:00):
Would you rather, guys? Would you rather have a driver
with very bad breath? Or would you rather your driver
drive like a maniac?

Speaker 4 (38:09):
Oh?

Speaker 15 (38:09):
Well, which were wearing masks? So I just take the
drive with the band brod we still wearing Yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
I don't want to drive kill me. No, No, we're
gonna deal with bro. We're gonna let that winder down though,
he's gonna have to let that window down. Grab with a.

Speaker 9 (38:25):
Dude breath, so Brad. It was coming through the the divide. Man,
I was trying to close up the little money tray
I was. I was looking for duct tape. I was
trying to seal the cracks if I had some conking
I just.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
I was looking for that. I had took my jacket.

Speaker 9 (38:51):
Off and packed it in the crack between I want
to see. I was trying to shut off all ventilation.
I was sitting back there, man, I ain't have on nothing, but.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
I took all my clothes and packed it in cracks,
just trying to stop this. What is she doing up there?

Speaker 7 (39:09):
All right?

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Would you rather?

Speaker 10 (39:11):
Would you rather curse really loud.

Speaker 12 (39:13):
When you see a beautiful woman, or would you rather
cry softly when you saw a beautiful woman?

Speaker 1 (39:19):
Which I did both of them on sight. Yeah, I've
done both. Yeah, we've all done both, right there, all

(39:40):
of that? Yeah, then i've done what? Yeah that whimpering?

Speaker 7 (39:49):
All right?

Speaker 10 (39:50):
Would you rather.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
You ever read a real fine chicken? Walked up to
her and tried to say some to it, and she said,
excuse me, you're you're not my whoa?

Speaker 10 (40:02):
Yeah, like the lady who says I don't like your feature.

Speaker 9 (40:07):
Lady told me she said, I can't go with you
to the junior prom because I don't like your facial feature.

Speaker 10 (40:13):
Your facial feature.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
It's nineteen seventy one, and they really came out with
planning sub surgery right now, I got it. I thing
I can do about this right now? Nor I haven't
heard of boatox yet?

Speaker 7 (40:30):
All right?

Speaker 12 (40:31):
Last one, would you rather a totally silent sex partner?

Speaker 10 (40:35):
Or would you rather one that talks the whole time?
The entire time?

Speaker 9 (40:39):
Yeah, you can be quiet. You ain't got said, you
ain't got to give me no notifications or nothing. I'm fine,
I know what I'm not.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
Yeah, neither one of them bother me. I'm trying to
get a rhythm going here?

Speaker 4 (40:53):
What is all this.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Instruction booklet?

Speaker 15 (40:57):
Now?

Speaker 1 (40:57):
I want to do this, now, I want you to
do this? What good morning? Is your man? Steve Harvey
and my New Year's resolutions off the same as they
been all year long.

Speaker 9 (41:08):
That ain't your business. Happy New Year, y'all from the
Steve Harvey Morning Show. Keep your resolutions to yourself. A
lot of haters out there, don't let them shake your baby.

Speaker 10 (41:18):

Speaker 12 (41:26):
All right, guys, it is time once again for comedy
rulelett Anthony Brown.

Speaker 16 (41:32):
Very easy. Take three subjects, put them on a wheel.
Spend the wheel wedstop. We'll make it funny with professionals.
Watch us do it. We do it all the time.

Speaker 12 (41:41):
Come on the subject new year's resolutions that you will
not keep all of them? And then the last one.
A relative got so drunk for New Year's Eve.

Speaker 10 (41:52):
They dot dot dot dot uh huh spend we.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
Splun it noning, nothing's gonna worry. You're right, spun it
bnet monet Let.

Speaker 10 (42:05):
Stop it stopped on one. A relative got so drunk
for New Year's Eve.

Speaker 16 (42:13):
They come on, Jay, all right, here we go. Huffer
earl got so drunk for New Year's Eve. He pete
and dirty clothes.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
Heaper, Oh wow, well they dirty though they dirty?

Speaker 7 (42:26):
I mean, you know.

Speaker 1 (42:29):
They don't get washed anyway.

Speaker 10 (42:32):
A relative got so drunk for New Year's Eve they jr.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Ain't Barbara, don't make what sleeepy tato past no more?
They give it the family.

Speaker 10 (42:46):
All right, Tommy, your relative got so drunk for New
Year's Eve.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
They you had sex with pain't thelma? Wow? Mood was up?

Speaker 7 (43:02):
All right?

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Come on, king.

Speaker 10 (43:04):
A relative got so drunk for New Year's eve Day.

Speaker 9 (43:08):
Instead of leading everybody in the old lang's eye, he
led everybody with the national anthems.

Speaker 10 (43:24):
That's true, all right. A relative got so drunk for
New Year's eve Day.

Speaker 16 (43:30):
She got in a fight with it in the wheelchair,
and the wheelchair lady whooped her.

Speaker 10 (43:41):
A relative got so drunk for New Year's eve Day.

Speaker 17 (43:44):
We looked at the window and saw Uncle Carr under
the tree drinking with the dog.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
That's good company, though, that's good company.

Speaker 10 (43:56):
A relative got so drunk for New Year's Eve day.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
So I doing the countdown. Just start taking clothes off.

Speaker 3 (44:02):
Ten nine ain't bra pannies fox, everything was naked by
we got by the time we got the one.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Oh my god, Uncle Herman.

Speaker 4 (44:17):
All right.

Speaker 10 (44:18):
Stephen relative got so drunk for New Year's Eve.

Speaker 9 (44:21):
They that he slapped his uncle because he never believed
he was blind.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Sitting over the line ups all this shine.

Speaker 10 (44:38):
Relative got so drunk for New Year's Eve.

Speaker 16 (44:40):
Bay, Uncle Earl been down the time shoe and everybody
sow he had on.

Speaker 18 (44:44):
My thumb a thumb, whoa, whoa, so drunk uncle Uncle Ernestein.

Speaker 10 (44:58):
A relative got so drunk for New Year's Eve.

Speaker 17 (45:00):
They we watched Uncle Larry drop his dishes into china.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
What the hell?

Speaker 10 (45:12):
Relatively got so drunk for New Year's Eve?

Speaker 3 (45:14):
Bay number two in the living room, flow right, God,
I couldn't hold it.

Speaker 1 (45:22):
I couldn't hold it. I couldn't hold it.

Speaker 12 (45:27):
A relative got so drunk for New Year's Eve, closing
out jeems.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
Please he told his boss he had feelings for his wife.

Speaker 4 (45:38):
Was lit.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
That let me.

Speaker 12 (45:43):
I never have said, all right, nephew, tell me thanks
guys as always, nephew tell me.

Speaker 10 (45:48):
Has a prank phone call coming up right after this?

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Lots people, This is Kirk Franklin.

Speaker 10 (45:53):
Hey, this is Shaka Kahan.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
What's going on? This is your boy Kevin Hart. Hey,
this is Chloe Kardashian. This is your boy Chris Brown
with the big Snoop Dog.

Speaker 12 (46:01):
This came to call.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
This is your boy sand the Entertainer.

Speaker 12 (46:07):
This is Yo, Linda Adams.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
Less up, It's DJ Cavin And you're listening to Steve
Harvey Morning Show. There's morning shows, and there's the Greatest
Steve Harvey Morning Show. Another one.

Speaker 10 (46:17):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Coming up
at the top of the hour.

Speaker 12 (46:26):
Right about four minutes after, it's my strawberry letter for today,
and the subject is what's.

Speaker 10 (46:31):
So darn funny? We'll find out.

Speaker 12 (46:36):
We'll get into it in just a bit, because right
now the nephew is here with today's prank phone call.

Speaker 10 (46:42):
What you got for his neft for today?

Speaker 1 (46:45):
What just went on in a lot of houses? Oh really,
this went on?

Speaker 3 (46:48):
This happened because you know, everybody bringing them this pot,
that pot, the pot looks you know how it goes,
And it happened in my house. And I'm tired of this.
This is my last one. But this right here is
the pot. Look Bad pot Love. That's the title, Bad
Pot Love. Okay, Okay, I know y'all has to be
brains stuff. Y'all houses just trifling. Okay, I'm not gonna

(47:10):
say nothing, but I shouldn't want to say something. I
know my wife listens.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
But your cousin can't bring no peach cab no more
and put some blueberries in it. She can't do that. No,
I'm just gonna go and see it. She can't do
it no more. Okay, you can't bring no greens and
then have some kind of meat in it that ain't
turkey and we don't know what that is. You can't
do that no more to us. Some assaustionment in the greens.

(47:39):
What you're doing? You cannot experiment on big holidays? All right?
This is bad potlu let's go cat Thom.

Speaker 4 (47:47):
Hello, Hello, I'm suying to flying a heap.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
Excuse me what you say?

Speaker 4 (47:52):
I'm trying to reach a heap?

Speaker 1 (47:55):
How are you?

Speaker 7 (47:56):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (47:57):
Listen, I got your love from uh from Lowist. Look
that's my mama. I'm my Reeche. I'm lowest oldest son.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
Now wait wait, excuse me?

Speaker 4 (48:08):
Lois?

Speaker 2 (48:08):
Who's lowis.

Speaker 4 (48:11):
Lewis?

Speaker 7 (48:11):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (48:11):
Yes, yes, hi, how are you?

Speaker 7 (48:14):
I'm good?

Speaker 19 (48:14):
You?

Speaker 4 (48:15):
You you you you was at at Mama Deane's house
on New Year's Day. Yes, yes, everybody was there. Okay
when I got when I got there, you was gone.
But what I'm what I'm calling a boy? Is you
the one made the black eyed peas? Right? I did?
You enjoyed them?

Speaker 7 (48:33):
No?

Speaker 4 (48:33):
I enjoyed the mother thing. That's why I'm calling. Let
me say this here.

Speaker 7 (48:39):
Let me say this.

Speaker 4 (48:39):
No, no, no, comehead work.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
You can't talk to me like this.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
Don't do that, don't do that.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
Say whatever you got to say, but please don't.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
Curse that me.

Speaker 19 (48:46):
Don't go to dinner your mother. Things got my jacked
up and I didn't have to go down to the
doctor to get my stomach pumped. I ain't got no insurance,
none of this.

Speaker 4 (48:58):
You know this, this, this did have messed up for
the last week. Number for the loanss to tell you exactly?

Speaker 2 (49:07):
You know how is okay? First of all, okay, I
told you I'm at work, I'm around all these white people.
I can't talk to you the way I want to
talk to you.

Speaker 7 (49:18):
But let me just tell you this.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
Don't call me with the dump. First of all, it
was a whole bunch of food there. How do you
know how can you single out my beans that made
you sit with all that got food there. You're not
gonna blame me.

Speaker 4 (49:30):
You get out of here, mam Mama Bean said you
was the one that made deface you.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
Don't give a Mama Bean said it was all this
food there, and you're gonna single out my beans. Nobody
else complained, you know what the day's date is, okay,
and not one other person called me about them beans,
and by the as a matter of fact, other people
were complimenting me. So for you to call me with
the dumb all late and wrong, going to blame me,
probably because you need a doctor's appointment. You should have

(49:57):
got Obamacare when it was available to you and how
you want call me?

Speaker 4 (50:00):
But no, no, no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
So you could tell whatever you try to.

Speaker 4 (50:05):
Blame on somebody, you're trying to blame somebody else's food.
Joe things my stomach up. And that's what the that's
what it falls down to. And at the end of
the day, you're friendly.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
Can miss it? Bill?

Speaker 2 (50:17):
You know the hell I hate what doctor Bill? You
said you don't have a short so how does the
hell did you have to swallow? And shot?

Speaker 4 (50:24):
I had to play out my pocket to get my
stomach pumped.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
Okay, well taken care of if you paid out your pocket,
that means the bill is things.

Speaker 4 (50:32):
So you can get you gonna reimburse me.

Speaker 5 (50:35):
No, I'm not going to reimburse you with okay. In fact,
I got more beans for you since you got a
problem with them. I got a whole bowl for you. Okay,
how about because you fullish? So it's that made you
that's good for you.

Speaker 4 (50:47):
Hey, look, look, I'm gonna tell you this here right now. Uh,
the bill was four hundred and seventy two dollars. I
need four hundred seventy two, four hundred and seventy two
dollars for your bulley things.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
No, right, no, no, no, you're not getting it no
money from me. And I need to go because I
got work to do.

Speaker 4 (51:04):
I don't know what you got to do.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
Spend it off the time on the phone talk about
some bean with all that food. So the rice didn't
do it, the meat didn't do it. They had some
mother gravy. Gravy always people up that.

Speaker 4 (51:14):
Didn't do it.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
You wanna sing about my beans got out of here?

Speaker 4 (51:18):
Don't be calling me with this dumb you know what?

Speaker 2 (51:20):
Now tell me who gave me your number? Because I
don't even know you. I do know your mom.

Speaker 4 (51:24):
I'm Mama Bean gave me your number.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
I called Mama Dean passing out numbers. Well, I'm gonna
call Mama Dean and I'm gonna see if anybody else
got sick, which I know they didn't because it's fullish.
So I'm gonna call her see if anybody got sick.
How about we do it that way. And also I'm
gonna call your mother. Okay, I'm gonna call miss Lewis
and see why her dead son is calling me on
the phone. Because this is something broke. I'm getting stick

(51:50):
and side of this phone call. And nothing was wrong
with my beans. If anything something wrong with you, and
so take a accident, clear your ouse and keep it.

Speaker 4 (51:59):
The flood of gonna get off my c Okay, okay, okay,
they say they say Tommy had some problem with the
bees too.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
Tom First of all, I don't even know no God, Tommy,
I barely know your mom. I just know her by face.
I don't even know her know her. So Tommy Hugh,
I'm calling Mamma Dean. She ain't got no bodness giving
my mo number to nobody.

Speaker 4 (52:22):
This is what what you want me to tell Tommy.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
I've just told you I don't know anybody named Tommy.
So you can tell them whatever you want to tell them.
And if you kind of gain other people who want
to jump away your side, it's not gonna happen because
nobody complained about the beans. Give me give me another name,
because Tommy wasn't there. I know just about everybody that
was there wasn't nobody named Tommy there.

Speaker 4 (52:45):
Okay, okay, so you're gonna say you tell me, nephew,
Tommy wasn't there. What nephew tell me? This is new
from Steve Harvey mor Than Shoe Heather. You just are
you crazy? Your cousin f got me to brank phone call.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
You people walking by me looking at me because I'm
walking again, blighting problem.

Speaker 4 (53:14):
You tell me?

Speaker 7 (53:15):
Are you crazy?

Speaker 5 (53:19):
So good?

Speaker 4 (53:24):
Oh man, you got me. You got me wanting to
taste your black eyed t baby. Okay, oh good?

Speaker 2 (53:29):
Nobody could come. I'm sitting here like, come on, ain't
get these people fack, you aren't gonna get no money.

Speaker 4 (53:36):
Show me this baby, tell me this. What is the
Baddest the Baddest Radio show? In the land. Oh but
you know it.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
But you know it's Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 4 (53:46):
Oh my god, this is great. Keep cooking your bad baby.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
You are all right, thank you.

Speaker 4 (53:54):
New Year.

Speaker 7 (53:55):
All right, that's the new year.

Speaker 4 (53:57):
And next year I probably pop up in mamma ten house.
Here you are welcome. Acow.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
We're gonna stop all this this bad pot Look, we're
gonna stop it. We're gonna stop bringing these potluck thing.

Speaker 9 (54:12):
Food police, Well, we need food police. You know what
happened in my house. You know it's been doing keto
low carbs. Just decided, you know, enjoying my day. So
I let gold and had three sweet potato pies.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
I said, okay, so when I get through on my
chill and give me a big hunk of sweet potato pie.
Do you know they ate all three of them sweet
potato pie before you got the dog. I went over
there and Margie said, you didn't get no pie. I
said no, I was waiting because after the game.

Speaker 4 (54:47):
I was.

Speaker 9 (54:49):
They ate all three of them sweet potato pie. The kids,
the kids, the grandparents, their friends.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
I walked in the kitchen, I looked at everybody. I'm different.

Speaker 3 (54:58):
I get mad at my wife at that point, Have
me some foods outside, take care of me.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
I'm sorry. First, my toe was very nice. Have me
some food?

Speaker 3 (55:14):
Yeah, okay, if you don't, Mary, if you have me
a plate set aside, I'm not gonna eat these large,
gigantic places and everybody are eating.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
I'm not gonna do that. What if she put your
plate aside and somebody eat it?

Speaker 4 (55:28):
Now?

Speaker 1 (55:28):
You that came to my house stealing? All right?

Speaker 10 (55:32):
Well, thank you.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
Nephew for that.

Speaker 10 (55:34):
Good luck in your marriage.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
All right?

Speaker 10 (55:38):
Coming up, strawberry letter subject? What is so darn funny?
We'll find out right after this.

Speaker 8 (55:44):
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Speaker 10 (56:14):

Speaker 12 (56:21):
Time Now for today's Strawberry Letter and if you need
advice on relationships, dating, works, sex, parenting, and more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter.

Speaker 10 (56:35):
This could be your letter. We could be reading it
live on the air. You never know it could be yours.
So write us, Okay, So write us right now.

Speaker 1 (56:44):
Buck love you hold on tight. We got it for you.
Here it is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 10 (56:50):
Thank you, nephew. Subject, what's so darn funny?

Speaker 1 (56:53):
Okay?

Speaker 12 (56:54):
Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married for eighteen years and
I'm dating a younger lady on the side. I know
what you're thinking, but my wife stopped having sex with
me two years ago, and she got smart during an
argument and told me I could do whatever I needed
to do on the side because she didn't want me anymore.
It hurt like heck, but I moved on and met

(57:15):
someone new. My side chick is married, but she and
her husband have been living apart for four years. I'm
fifty five and my girlfriend is thirty five. She's tall
and thick with a tiny waist. It was love at
first sight and I wanted nothing more than to make

(57:36):
her mind. We didn't rush into sex because I haven't
been with another woman since I met my wife twenty
two years ago. When we finally had sex recently, I
admitted I was nervous. She thought it was sweet, and
she jokingly said she'd take good care of me. When
I kissed her neck, she giggled. When I rubbed her skin,

(57:57):
she giggled. Every new position she giggled. I thought I
was showing out, but every few seconds she giggled. I
looked down at her. She had tears in her eyes
from all the laughing. I asked her what was so
darned funny, and she said she can tell I have
been married a long time. I was offended, but I

(58:18):
played it off and I let her take control. I
wasn't expecting what came next, and she had me holding
on for dear life.

Speaker 10 (58:27):
I got caught up in.

Speaker 12 (58:28):
Her long legs and couldn't breathe at one point. Since
that night, she's been teasing me about wanting more. I
don't have the confidence to do it again. Am I
out of my league here? Or should I keep trying?
M Okay, let me get this straight. Let me just
get this straight. For a second, you were asking, you

(58:51):
are asking Steve and I to help you be a
better lover for your side piece. Okay, I mean, is
it over between you and your wife? I guess according
to you, it is, But you guys did try to
make it. You didn't try to make it work anymore
after this, right because your wife practically gave you away

(59:12):
when she said she didn't want you anymore and for
you to do whatever you needed to do on the
side that was like a permanent hall pass. I'm sure
that hurt, like you said it did, and it's been
two years. So what I don't get is why you
guys didn't just get a divorce. I mean, do you
still do things together? You just don't have sex. It
sounds pretty complicated. You're legally married but living single, and

(59:35):
this sounds like it's working for you. I mean, you
must have some sort of understanding or arrangement going on here,
and your girlfriend must too.

Speaker 1 (59:44):
I don't know.

Speaker 12 (59:44):
Anyway, fast forward to the side piece. You may not
have a confidence to do it again, but she sure
wants you to do it again. She wants you to
do it again with her, so that should get your
self esteem your confidence up a bit, right, she crush
your ego with all the giggles and everything, but she
didn't stop. She didn't leave you, she didn't make fun

(01:00:05):
of you. She didn't even tell you to go back
to your wife. So she's obvious. She obviously likes something
about you, and maybe she can teach you a few things.
So now the balls in your court?

Speaker 10 (01:00:15):
What are you gonna do? Steve Woo.

Speaker 1 (01:00:20):
Girl?

Speaker 9 (01:00:22):
This letter here? What is something funny? Well, I'm the
man for this letter right here. Nice try Shirley, good
Christian answers. He ain't what this letter is about. This
ain't about no can you image workout? Could y'all talk
it through? Do y'all still do things together? That is

(01:00:43):
not what this is about at all. I have found
the secret in this letter. The subject is what is
so funny? That's what this letter about. The hell you
laughing at? That's what the letter is about. I'm in
here with all, I'm giving it all I get. The
hell is so funny. So now let's talk about this

(01:01:06):
because here what happened? This man been married for eighteen years,
you dating this younger girl on the side, you know,
and he's gonna talk to try to. I know you
know what you're thinking. But my wife stopped having sex
with me three years ago. She got smart than the argument,
told me I could do whatever I need to do
on the side because she ain't want me no more. Okay,

(01:01:29):
now I'm gonna show you something. It hurt like hell,
but I move on and I met somebody knew my
side chick is married. Now this is critical information now,
but she and her husband have been living apart for
four years. So now let's do the math.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Here.

Speaker 9 (01:01:46):
Here's a man been married eighteen years. His wife told
him two years ago she ain't want to have SEXU
with y. No, he told him to get something on
the side, go do what he.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
Want to do.

Speaker 9 (01:01:53):
He meets a side chick that what that is married,
but has been living apart from her man for years.
I'm fifty five, my girlfriend thirty five. She tall and
thick with the tiny waist. Love at first sight.

Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
I wanted nothing more to make her mind.

Speaker 9 (01:02:08):
She ain't rushing in sex because I hadn't been seeing
a woman since I met my wife twenty two years ago.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Another key piece of information. Here we go.

Speaker 9 (01:02:17):
When we finally had sex recently, I admitted I was nervous.
When we finally had sex, I was nervous. She thought
it was sweet, and she said jokely, she'd take good.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
Call me.

Speaker 9 (01:02:28):
That's a warning. That wasn't Actually, that was a warning.
When I kissed her neck, she giggled. When I rubbed
her skin, she giggled. Every new position she giggled. I
thought I was showing out, but every few seconds she giggled.
I looked down at her.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
She had tears in her eyes from all in laughing.
I asked her, what was so funny?

Speaker 10 (01:02:56):
Hold on thought, Hold that thought, Steve.

Speaker 12 (01:03:00):
I we'll have part two of your response coming up
in twenty three minutes after the hour. You're gonna find
out what's so darn funny when we come back.

Speaker 10 (01:03:10):
Right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 8 (01:03:18):
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Speaker 1 (01:03:34):
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Speaker 8 (01:03:35):
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Speaker 13 (01:03:42):
Delivery restrictions apply. Next day delivery available on select mattresses
and subject to location.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
CE store for details.

Speaker 12 (01:03:48):
All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is what's so darn funny?

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
Now?

Speaker 9 (01:03:55):
I've never taken this long down in the letter. I'm
three fourths through with the leavel before I have made
a point. But let me just do a recap so
you can understand this. Fifty five year old man's dating
a thirty three year old chick on the side from
his wife, who he's been married to eighteen years, but
for the past two years they haven't had sex.

Speaker 1 (01:04:16):
She told him go do what he wants. She don't
want him anymore.

Speaker 9 (01:04:19):
The side chick has been slipping separate from her husband,
separated for four years. He met her, long legs, small waist,
pretty face, fell in love at first sight, wanted her,
but he hadn't had sex with another woman in eighteen
twenty two years.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
She said, it's okay, I take care of you.

Speaker 9 (01:04:43):
I considered at a warning, but he don't know that
because he ain't been with nobody else in twenty two years.

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
He kissed on her Next she started laughing. He rubbed
her skin, she started laughing, touch her feet, laughing. Every
time they flipped to a new position, she laughing. He
looked down.

Speaker 9 (01:05:00):
She got tears in her eyes from all the laughing.
I asked her what was so funny? And she could
say it, she said, I can tell you been married
a long time. Well, the question of the letter is
what is so funny? And the answer you, yo, ask
what she laughing at? I tell you what's so funny.

(01:05:21):
First of all, that's why your wife told you she
laughing at your little sex moves, and she laughing at
all the little stuff you trying. That's why your wife
told you two years ago, don't touch her no more.
And you can go do what you wanna do, because
your things frying. No bacon up in here like I
like mine extra crispy, and you in here serving up
all the wrong bacon.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
Your grease ain't even hot. So now then she'd have
put you out.

Speaker 9 (01:05:46):
Now you gotta look at who you're dating, this woman
that don't put this thing on you, And you don't
know what to do now, you said in the letter,
I was offended and played it off, and I let
her take control. I wasn't expecting what came next, and
me holding on for dear life. I got caught up
in her long legs and couldn't breathe at one point.
Now won't know what happened right there. That's why she

(01:06:08):
been separated for four years, because she too much. You'd
too much for one man, but not enough for two.
That's a beer with her song. She in her bone,
crushing me, walking them up.

Speaker 1 (01:06:24):
Break it off. You getting stuff happening to you you
ain't never had before. You scared you in that scared
she and that too much she over experienced.

Speaker 9 (01:06:36):
That's why her husband that left her for four years.
He's somewhere trying to pull hisself together. Your wife don't
want you because you don't know what you're doing. You
fifty five. I don't know what made you think you
could do this, thirty five year old girl. Your wife
didn't want it no more. She don't want it now.
This is what this letter is about.

Speaker 7 (01:06:53):
Dog.

Speaker 1 (01:06:54):
So now listen to me. You said.

Speaker 9 (01:06:58):
Since that night, she's been to me about wanting more.
I don't have the confidence to do it again. And
I'm am I out of my lead here? Or should
I keep trying. No, brother, way out your lead you
the bit off molding. You can shoot and you can't
shoot baby girl because baby girl is a man either.

(01:07:20):
She's a man eater. Yeah see, they wrote songs about
everything back then. You did in love with a man eater.
And you ain't got nothing to eat cause your is inadequate.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
You sitting you can't?

Speaker 9 (01:07:35):
Are you all that old baby kissing on the neck?
She don't want that rub in her skin? Her uh
flip over and watch this. You let her take control.
She locked your mucky up. You didn't know what the hell.
I can't read what you're doing me.

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
This is too much. Let it go, stop letting her go,
let me go. Shut your Yeah, now, listen to me.
This is not gonna work out for you. Dog. You
need to stop this right now. Now. What you're gonna
have to do is you're gonna have to do some practicing.
But you're fifty five.

Speaker 9 (01:08:13):
You ain't got any tank what you have, so now
you gotta do selective practicing. That's something I read a
long time ago that a man has a certain amount
of pleasure explosions, let's call it, uh huh in his
lifetime at fifty five, you are on the cusp of

(01:08:36):
running a little low on the number you got left,
so you need to be most selective. The man eater
is gonna snatch yours from you, and you ain't gonna
have none left you already.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
Sorry, the two women you've been with laughing.

Speaker 9 (01:09:02):
Your wife then told you to get somebody on the
side because she don't even want it no more. And
not a man eater that ate you up one time
and said let's just try it again, and you ain't
got to comfort this.

Speaker 7 (01:09:14):
What is he?

Speaker 1 (01:09:15):
And what is she doing? She's doing everything, She's doing everything.
He ain't doing nothing right.

Speaker 9 (01:09:22):
He in the corner, scared, He trimmling, shook the blanket
over in the corner and pulled it over his little
neked body, just sucking his thing.

Speaker 1 (01:09:30):
I don't know what to do.

Speaker 12 (01:09:32):
Boast your comments on Today Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey
FM on.

Speaker 1 (01:09:35):
Instagram, out the bathroom.

Speaker 10 (01:09:39):
And check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.

Speaker 1 (01:09:43):
Steve Harbin Martin, So man, the most.

Speaker 10 (01:09:46):
Important lesson you learned, Steve from your parents that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:48):
I wasn't supposed to be here.

Speaker 9 (01:09:54):
Look at her constantly told me that my mama had
me at forty two. I was talking to my father
one time, said, day, I need to talk to you.
Say you can go ahead and talk to me, but
you do know Union supposed.

Speaker 1 (01:10:03):
To be here after you.

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(01:10:35):
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Speaker 12 (01:10:44):
Risky fitness, all right, that's what we're calling this. Did
your significant other join a gym as part of their
New Year's resolution? Be careful because, according to sex expert
Jessica Leoni, the gym is a hotbed bid for affairs,
especially in the month of January when so many people

(01:11:05):
are signing up for gym memberships. Leoni said went on
to say research shows that testosterone can spike up for
up to an hour after heading to the gym. This
behavior can have an extraordinary effect on your sex drive,
and that's why Jim's are a hot bed for affairs
seekers this month, she says people should become suspicious if

(01:11:26):
their partner suddenly becomes obsessed with the gym.

Speaker 1 (01:11:29):
And is spending a lot of time there.

Speaker 10 (01:11:32):
Okay, so here's the question.

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
So we know you guys.

Speaker 9 (01:11:38):
Okay, so jed, we're gonna forget the fact that they
might be trying to get in shape. Yes, yeah, telling
you right now. By Fellas. Before she read this right here,
Homan wrote this article, go ahead.

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
About it.

Speaker 12 (01:11:55):
So has working out had a bad effect on your
sex drive? Are you in a food after your workouts?
You know you do cold plunge, Steve Cardios, Tommy, you
run junior lift weights. So what's the story?

Speaker 1 (01:12:08):
You guys?

Speaker 3 (01:12:08):
Ain't nothing sure I wanted before I run, when I
get through Ruddy, when I.

Speaker 1 (01:12:14):
Yeah, it's not what I want it. So if I
can get it, it's the question. It's not us.

Speaker 3 (01:12:19):
I start putting an appointments and now you're doing anything
Next Wednesday?

Speaker 1 (01:12:23):
You got a boocket in Vain or anything?

Speaker 3 (01:12:25):
Next wedding? Can I get thirty minutes of your time?
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna hold you. I done
worked out, I done been so as hell and still
tried it.

Speaker 9 (01:12:35):
How to pull muscles, childie horses, toast spasms and.

Speaker 1 (01:12:38):
You're still in the move wanting to get busy.

Speaker 9 (01:12:41):
After all that what I laid out? Yeah, oh oh,
I lay that foot off that bed. Let that top
spasm work itself out. Still there, I'll get that thing
off that side of that bed that it go on
and work itself out.

Speaker 10 (01:12:54):
What about a cold plunge, cause you're just you know,
you're always so cold.

Speaker 1 (01:12:58):
Cold plunge is not good to discuss when it comes out.

Speaker 10 (01:13:03):
They don't go together when you.

Speaker 9 (01:13:05):
First get out that cold plood. You're not very attractive
to you. You need to turn the heat off.

Speaker 1 (01:13:15):
Mary show Man, I can't get no stupid than it is.
I helm the stupidest person anywhere.

Speaker 10 (01:13:21):
Yes, oh yes, everything you just said is true.

Speaker 9 (01:13:24):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:13:25):
I mean when when I walk in the room, do
you feel my stupid I just told my sister you
were stupid. Hey, hey, I did wait years ago. I
got a whooping for it. My mama. Don't think I'm stupid. Man,
I'm not hurt. Thank you, the whole family. Thank you.

Speaker 12 (01:13:56):
Coming up right after you're listening to the Steve Harvey
Morning Show. All right, Steve, this letter, this question is
from Kirk on Facebook. Kirk writes, my roommate and I
have been friends since we were kids, but I try
to keep out of his personal life. For almost a year,

(01:14:17):
he's been seeing a married woman and I haven't said
a thing. But last week her husband showed up at
our house. At first he thought I was my roommate,
but I managed to get him to calm down and
not knock me out. I said I said something to
my roommate, but he was not worried at all and
was unfazed by the news. He says the husband and

(01:14:37):
wife have stuff to work out and is not his concern.
But come on, dog, as far as I can tell,
it's fifty percent his fault. The whole thing has me
thinking about moving out.

Speaker 10 (01:14:47):
Am I wrong? Uncle Steve? How would you handle this?

Speaker 1 (01:14:51):
Well?

Speaker 9 (01:14:52):
I mean, look, man, you consider a pitch talk about
it ain't none of your concern. But once you mess
with a man's wife, Bible speaks about that when he
find out there's an anger level that he coming with
that we ain't really got nothing for I don't know
what to tell you.

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
Man.

Speaker 9 (01:15:10):
That's a dangerous thing that a man that came by
your house. And the reason the man comes by your
house is not cause his wife is cheap. But of
all the women in the world that ain't gotten nobody,
you done decided to disrespect me and come over here
and get mine. I know she ain't worth nothing to

(01:15:32):
me right now, but the fact that you think I'm
the little punk dude that you can step on, I
come to let you know who I am.

Speaker 1 (01:15:41):
See, that's what that is right there. He already know
his wife that violated the vows. He got that.

Speaker 9 (01:15:48):
But this dude thought, oh, so you gonna come get
mine like you gonna just disregard me and my position
as a man and a husband. That's why I'm whooping yours.
That's what that all about. You should have said something
to him. But your friend is he gonna he gonna
set hisself up, man, because this man gonna do something
to it if he get to him. He didn't come

(01:16:10):
over there to talk. But dude, the room may move
out or stay with it. Well, y'alloll got it from
here because I'm gonna get away from here because this
don't go down. He'd have been over that one time.
He's still mad, and you don't know what could trigger
this dude. This dude come over here and shoot the
whole place up.

Speaker 1 (01:16:28):
I'm gonna myself.

Speaker 9 (01:16:30):
I gonna get out because if that's how your dude
is acting, and then you bring it up to him,
they got some things that ain't none of my concern.

Speaker 1 (01:16:38):
Hold up, bro, he messed with the man's wife, right, yeah, brouh.

Speaker 9 (01:16:44):
You don't understand where this dude that he didn't invest
it in this marriage. He'd got credit probably then bought property,
house or some card notes. Now you're over here, okay,
all these women over here that ain't got nobody. Yeah,
you're gonna come over here with going Now, I got
you a trip, and it's fifty percent of this is

(01:17:05):
her fault.

Speaker 1 (01:17:05):
I got that, but I mean I can't. I can't.
I can't hit her. But I'm fitting to whoop your
and what's all this? All this unphased? I'm unfazed.

Speaker 9 (01:17:17):
Okay, Yeah, Hey, the man that came by your house,
I don't know. I don't know what you think happened
in here. He'd have been by the house.

Speaker 10 (01:17:30):
Now, Yeah, I'm warning Okay, it's all I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:17:35):
You have been warned. Yeah, all right, ain't it ain't
nothing like it outside your own house. That's bad. That's us.
Everybody know you over there. It ain't like you get
to leave. All the neighbors know who stayed there.

Speaker 7 (01:17:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:56):
Man, somebody came over to Harold and Jamie's house, had.

Speaker 11 (01:18:03):
Harold and Jamie.

Speaker 1 (01:18:12):
I look over, man, man, Jamie just backed at the driveway,
never looked back. And what's the roommate's name?

Speaker 10 (01:18:20):
Who wrote this? What's the roommate's name?

Speaker 1 (01:18:22):
No, that's Jamie. Oh that is Jamie.

Speaker 10 (01:18:25):
Okay, Yeah, Jamie's gotta go.

Speaker 1 (01:18:28):
Harold is they're talking about. No, he ain't no concern
about Okay.

Speaker 6 (01:18:34):
He's UNFAZEDA you better get phased, all right?

Speaker 12 (01:18:42):
Coming up in twenty minutes after the hour, we'll have
more Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 10 (01:18:46):
Right after this. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 4 (01:18:54):
All right.

Speaker 12 (01:18:54):
So January this month right here, happens to be National
Soup month, guys, and the weather is perfect across most
of the country for soup. It is with this arctic
blast we're experiencing right now. According to a recent survey.
Here are the three most beloved soups.

Speaker 1 (01:19:14):
Give it to me. I cook three this week I
cooked three. I want to see if you hit it.

Speaker 12 (01:19:18):
Okay, broccoli cheddar, no you, cream of chicken and wild
rice chicken noodle soup.

Speaker 1 (01:19:28):
Yeah yeah, yeah, that worked.

Speaker 10 (01:19:30):
This is this makes four. I'll throw on a bonus
creamy tomato.

Speaker 12 (01:19:35):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:19:36):
Ya know. Well, we know who they talk to.

Speaker 10 (01:19:40):
About it, we know what.

Speaker 1 (01:19:43):
Top surveys those says.

Speaker 10 (01:19:47):
Okay, so what are yours?

Speaker 1 (01:19:49):
Tommy? Let me gumbo, chili and chicken noop, uh huh
them three? Yeah, yeah, that'd be three. If you're sick though,
you chili ain't gone?

Speaker 4 (01:20:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 10 (01:20:01):
Are they considered gumbo?

Speaker 1 (01:20:04):
Well, the chili, it's just gonna be a little rough
on you, you know. Yeah.

Speaker 14 (01:20:09):
Well, as long as you ain't on a plane, you
know you're good. Now you got heartburn in addition to
the cold. They need to ask people what they ate,
like Steve said, before they get on.

Speaker 10 (01:20:23):
The plane these days.

Speaker 1 (01:20:25):
What all right? So that's it.

Speaker 12 (01:20:29):
We'll have more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show coming
up at thirty three minutes after the hour, we will
play around would you rather right after this?

Speaker 10 (01:20:37):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 8 (01:20:45):
Nothing's worse than pet's bouncing on and off your bed
on cold nights, waking you.

Speaker 1 (01:20:49):
Up every time.

Speaker 8 (01:20:50):
Mattress firms sleep experts can match you with a bed
motion for undisturbed rest Shop mattress firms once a year's
sale and clearance and save up to five hundred dollars
on select temp repeding mattresses with next.

Speaker 13 (01:21:08):
Day delivery restrictions apply. Next day delivery available on select
mattresses and subject to location. Sea store for details.

Speaker 10 (01:21:15):
It is time now for a rounded Would you rather?
Would you rather?

Speaker 1 (01:21:19):
Guys?

Speaker 12 (01:21:19):
Would you rather have a driver with very bad breath?
Or would you rather your driver drive like a maniac?

Speaker 4 (01:21:27):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:21:27):
Well, which ran mass? So I just take the drive
with the man breath, which did win.

Speaker 7 (01:21:32):
All.

Speaker 1 (01:21:33):
I don't want to drive kill me. Were gonna build.
We're gonna let that window down, though, you gonna have
to let that window down. That grab with a dude.

Speaker 9 (01:21:42):
Breath, So Brad, it was coming through the close up
the little money tray. I was I was looking for
duct tape. I was trying to seal the crack. If
I had some conking.

Speaker 7 (01:22:01):
I just.

Speaker 1 (01:22:05):
I was looking for that. I had took my jacket
off and packed it in the crack between and the sea.

Speaker 9 (01:22:11):
I was trying to shut off all ventilation. I was
sitting back there, man, I ain't have on nothing but
my drawers. I took all my clothes and packed it
in cracks, just trying to stop this. What is it
doing up there?

Speaker 4 (01:22:25):
All right?

Speaker 1 (01:22:26):
Would you rather?

Speaker 12 (01:22:27):
Would you rather curse really loud when you see a
beautiful woman? Or would you rather cry softly when you
saw a beautiful woman?

Speaker 1 (01:22:35):
Which both on sight?

Speaker 9 (01:22:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:22:40):
I've done both? Yeah, right there, all of that? Yeah,
then I've done what?

Speaker 8 (01:23:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:23:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 10 (01:23:03):
That wondering all right? Would you rather?

Speaker 15 (01:23:09):
Man?

Speaker 9 (01:23:09):
You ever read a real fine cheek and walked up
to her and tried to say some to it, and
she said, excuse me, you're not my type.

Speaker 10 (01:23:17):
Yeah, like the lady who said I don't like your feature?

Speaker 1 (01:23:22):
Remember yea lady told me she said I can't go
with you to the junior bro because I don't like
your facial features. Your facial feature this nineteen seventy one,
and they really came.

Speaker 9 (01:23:33):
I would plastic servy right now? Oh my god, thing
I can do about this right now? No, you haven't
heard a boat touch yet?

Speaker 7 (01:23:45):
All right?

Speaker 1 (01:23:46):
Last one?

Speaker 12 (01:23:47):
Would you rather a totally silent sex partner or would
you rather one that talks the whole time?

Speaker 10 (01:23:53):
The entire time?

Speaker 1 (01:23:55):
Yeah, you can be quiet. You ain't got said. Yeah,
you ain't got to give me no notif for K
says nothing. I'm fine. I know what I'm doing. Yeah,
neither one of them bother me. I'm trying to get
a rhythm going here. What is all this instruction booklet?
I want to do this now?

Speaker 12 (01:24:13):
I want you to do this what We'll be back
with our last break of the day and at forty
nine minutes after some closing remarks from the.

Speaker 1 (01:24:20):
One on a least you want right after this?

Speaker 10 (01:24:25):
Good morning. This is Shirley's Strawberry.

Speaker 12 (01:24:27):
And my New Year's resolutions are the same as they
have been for these last few years.

Speaker 10 (01:24:32):
Just don't make any because I never keep them. Happy
New Year. From the Steve Harvey Morning Show. You're listening
to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

Speaker 8 (01:24:44):
on cold nights, waking you up every time. Mattress firms
undisturbed rest Shop mattress firms once a year's sale and
clearance and save up to five hundred dollars on select

(01:25:05):
temp repeding mattresses with next day delivery.

Speaker 13 (01:25:08):
Restrictions apply. Next day delivery available on select mattresses and
subject to location. See store for details.

Speaker 12 (01:25:14):
All right, guys, here we are our last break of
the day and time now for some closing remarks from
the one and only Steve Harvey.

Speaker 1 (01:25:22):
Well, you know, don't I don't really.

Speaker 9 (01:25:25):
I've been thinking about a lot of things, you know,
and I was thinking just on a positive tip, you know,
to just kind of just always encourage people to stay
with it.

Speaker 4 (01:25:38):
You know.

Speaker 9 (01:25:38):
Oftentimes, you know, when you you know, when you have
dreams and aspirations, all of us, from time to time
they get sidelined. All of our dreams and aspiration takes
a hit along the way to attaining them.

Speaker 1 (01:25:54):
And there's always a detour on the way.

Speaker 9 (01:25:57):
There's always some confusion, a set of barrels set up.
It's just really hard to see a vision from start
to finish, scott free with no troubles So if you're
in that position today and you're finding yourself waning in
your dreams and visions, it seems like it's just not

(01:26:18):
happening the way you want it. I want you to
understand it's not going to happen just the way you
want it. That is the way it works. And I
know that's not great news, but it's the truth. Nobody
gets where they want to be in life just the
way they want it. So if you're thinking that you're

(01:26:40):
going to get there scott free, that you will just
have a smooth sailing, that's not the way it works.

Speaker 1 (01:26:46):
Life isn't designed that way. So factor in the fact
that you are going to have troubles and difficulties along
the way.

Speaker 9 (01:26:57):
And if you stop your visions or dreams because of
that reason, right there, the rule is simple.

Speaker 1 (01:27:06):
Here's the rule.

Speaker 9 (01:27:08):
You can start again today. You can just start again
today and guess what. You don't need anybody's permission. All
you have to do is rewrite your dreams down on
your vision board, reclaim victory, ask God for your help

(01:27:30):
and your strength, and get back to making your dreams
and visions come true for your life. You all listen
to me, stop waking up just going about the day
seeing how it's going, without any projects, without any visions,
without any aspirations, without a plan to attain the things

(01:27:54):
that you really want in life. Stop waking up like
that with no to do. Make a plan at night,
pray about it, ask God for help. You know, now,
look when you rake, when you make your plan, that's
just the request you're asking God to help you come true.
Matter how you get there is going to be difficult.

(01:28:17):
It's going to be difficult. But once you started, there
is no one who says you can. So y'all just
get back in the pocket, get back up on the horse,
get back to dreaming again, get back to wanting to
hoping to believe in again. Don't let the setbacks and

(01:28:39):
the troubles of life stop you, because I got.

Speaker 1 (01:28:42):
News for you. You're gonna always have them. You're going
to always have them.

Speaker 9 (01:28:48):
And like today, man, God, I just went back through
my phone because what I do is when I see
motivational phrases or scriptures that really register with me, I
take my phone out and I take the picture of it,
and then I've created this album in my photo section
called motivation, and I file all those.

Speaker 1 (01:29:07):
Pictures in my motivational thing.

Speaker 9 (01:29:09):
And when I find myself wavering, feeling a little uncertain,
feeling a little shaky about decisions, I go back to
my motivational folder in my photos and I just started
reading the little quotes I got in there. I just
start going down the line. I've got some stuff in there, man,
that I've had in there for years. Man, But I

(01:29:31):
can still read from time to time, you know, like
for example, I was today I read this one. It says,
I can't cry about having a lot on my plate
when my whole goal was to eat. I can't cry.

Speaker 1 (01:29:50):
About having a whole lot on my plate when my
whole goal was to eat. And man, I find myself
doing that talking about Lord a bird. Man, I'm tired.

Speaker 7 (01:30:01):
You know.

Speaker 9 (01:30:02):
I got all this, I got all that. Hey, Steve,
did you hear yourself? You got all this, and you
got all that.

Speaker 1 (01:30:10):
What you're tripping for?

Speaker 9 (01:30:11):
And I gathered myself, you know, And then you know,
you know, I have a lot of stuff in there.
Like one of them I read today was, Oh my bad,
I'm sorry for bothering you.

Speaker 1 (01:30:23):
I forgot. I only exist when you need me for
something that's God tell you Oh my bad. I'm sorry
for bothering you. I forgot.

Speaker 9 (01:30:34):
I only exist when you need me for something. I
have all these little things, man, that always motivate me.
Here's another one. Winners are not people who never fail,
but people who never quit.

Speaker 1 (01:30:49):
Amen.

Speaker 9 (01:30:49):
Yeah, failure is a failure is a part of the process.
Here's another one. I have not failed. I've just found
ten thousand ways that don't work. Thomas Edison.

Speaker 1 (01:31:06):
Wow, I have not failed. I just found ten thousand
ways that don't work. Do you see?

Speaker 9 (01:31:14):
Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you
travel from where you started. That's a proverb. And I
just keep stuff like that, and you know, all always.
And last one I read this morning was I want
to inspire people. I want someone to look at me

(01:31:35):
and say, because of you, I didn't give up. That's
always been important.

Speaker 1 (01:31:41):
So y'all stay.

Speaker 9 (01:31:43):
Motivated, stay the course, find a way to self motivate
yourself when you down, and get back.

Speaker 1 (01:31:49):
To dreaming and believe it for all.

Speaker 10 (01:31:51):
Steve Harvery contests. No purchase necessary, void We're prohibited.

Speaker 12 (01:31:54):
Participants must be legal US residents at least eighteen years old,
unless otherwise stated. For complete contest rules, visit Steve Harvey
FM dot com. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show

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FULL SHOW: NYE Comedy Roulette, Strawberry Letter: What's So Darn Funny? - 1.2.26

Episode Transcript

The Steve Harvey Morning Show News

Hosts And Creators

Steve Harvey

Shirley Strawberry

Thomas "Nephew Tommy" Miles

Carla Ferrell

Kier "Junior" Spates

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