Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
And when I woke up this morning, I was feeling
pretty dangerous. Nason tonight, that's my team. It's mc cordback.
They are when we thought they were about the Hello,
you plenty to win the gate. They want you to
cook the dinner. At least they ought to let your
shop for some of the groceries. And on the way up,
we're gonna buy a kneecap of playoffs. You're kidding me.
(00:25):
I'm just here so I won't get fine. How could
he not be romantic about football? Hello? Everybody, Welcome to
Bench with Banana, the podcast, the show, all of the things. Listen.
This is gonna be like I don't know if you
guys are like into an s MR all right, but
this is gonna be the most a SMR Bench with
(00:46):
Banetta that we've had yet. I am in a house
filled with people that are taking naps. It is the
day after Christmas. It is the twenty six that's when
we record this podcast. And when you guys are gonna
have it in your little your holes. That sounds gross. Um,
it's going to be the day after the day after Christmas.
So I hope that you're still enjoying all of the naps.
I hope you guys had a great Christmas. Um. I
(01:08):
worked all Christmas. I'm very used to working during Christmas.
That's that's the life of the sports personal person in sports. Um.
But it was great. We had a lot of great games.
I was up at three thirty am on Saturday. I'm
sure a lot of you guys were stoked about Santa
Cuming and you were up that early too, loard Um.
(01:29):
But we had some really great games. We had some
close games. Vikings Giants was wild, how Boys Eagles was wild.
We'll almost had some minshumania on our hands. Uh. And
then of course Laurens Broncos, who could have missed that game.
Baker Mayfield is absolutely on fire. Do you think that
we could get Baker on this podcast in the off season?
(01:51):
I am putting that into the into the ether. I
know people who know people. I can think this happens, um,
although he might like, I don't know, block me in
real life because I'm so obsessed with him. Um. Okay,
So the big news today going into weeks seventeen or
wherever the heck we're at, is that the Broncos fired
Nathaniel Hackett, which is a bomber. It's always such a
(02:13):
bomber when people get fired. I feel really bad to
do it. The day after Christmas is on a whole
of my full of absolutely atrocious things. I was thinking
about this this morning, kind of went back into my brain,
into my mems. Um, I actually don't think knock on wood,
I'm knocking on my head. I don't think I've ever
been fired from a job before. I have a great
(02:35):
fear of getting in trouble. Okay. My mom was the
school secretary at my school, same with my brothers growing up,
so none of us ever wanted to get in trouble.
So I feel like maybe that's where the fear comes from. Um,
but I never got fired. There was one time that
I just was not good at this like bar job.
I wasn't sing enough, Okay, I didn't want to wear
(02:56):
my hues. Wait, it's noting a stripper job, I not. Um,
but at this bar that I was working at, you
had to wear these nasty high heels that would make
your feet her and you had to wear these cute
laundrants nebly and I hated it and I was miserable,
and I told everyone I was miserable because I didn't care,
but I was so collect in that paycheck, okay, And
they're like, you know, we're tired of Rachel being miserable.
We're not going to fire her, but we're gonna wish.
(03:18):
We're gonna make her wish that she was fired. So
then they put me on the morning ship every Saturday,
every Sunday, and like, maybe girl was twenty as time. Okay,
she wasn't feeling good on Saturday mornings and Sunday mornings,
if you know what I'm saying. Okay, she had a life.
So that was the closest that I got to being fired,
And honestly, I wish that I was at that point
because I was so miserable. I'd come into I don't
(03:38):
know if you guys have ever worked like service jobs before.
I think everyone should be a server or work in
the service industry at some point in their lives, because
there's a lot of y'all are rude to people in
the service industry, and you know, you don't know how
to tip um. But I you'd come in the morning
and and it would still smell like stale, like red
bowl vodka on the floor. It was disgusting, and it
(04:01):
was the worst job I've ever had. That was the
closest that I've come to being fired. But I was
thinking about, like, when is the worst time for that
to happen. There's never a good time to be fired,
but there's definitely terrible times to be fired. And I
would say the day after Christmas, Um, it's up there.
I would actually put that at number one. Day after
Christmas worst time to get fired. The day after Thanksgiving
after the Thanksgiving games also terrible time to get fired.
(04:26):
First coach fired of the season, unless you're Matt Rule
and you're making a ton of money and you just
get the you just get the year off. You're like,
I'm just kicking out my feet and I'm collecting those checks.
Hon Me. I think I've said on this podcast once
or twice I wish I was Mat Rule. Um best
day to get fired. I would probably say what do
they call what do they call it? Black Monday is
(04:47):
the day that all the coaches get fired after the
regular season. They just like clean house. Um, it's dark,
it's dreary. Uh. I feel like that's probably the best time.
So you can just fight under the radar and you
have friends, you can have like a little support group.
But this reminded me of the time I sat down
with my good friend Steve Maryucchi. We call him Mucci
muchI man mucher muchikins um. He got fired the day
(05:11):
after Thanksgiving, and what started off as a very sad
story took a little bit of a turn and I
actually sat down with him and I got him to
record the entire thing from start to finish, um, and
just just take a listen. I get let go on Monday.
Pretty embarrassing to lose your job in the middle of
(05:33):
the season. In fact, I stayed in my tidy white
He's fit the looms for three weeks and I did
not want to go anywhere, see anybody do anything. So
sooner or later he got a snap out of it,
and I said, I gotta leave the house. I gotta
do something. I gotta get some fresh air. And I
learned my wife at a Costo car. So what do
they have at Costco. They have those little stations over
(05:54):
there that have like sausages on a toothpick. So I
would keep one your own, and one real quick from
then another aisle the head like cheese and crackers. I mean,
you can't just go in the Costco and eat sausage
and leave you. That's like eating and running, dining and dashing.
You can't do that. And then there was like, fop socks.
I bought six long tubes off like four or six
(06:17):
food sauce is a good deal. So I love so much.
This man was so down, bad and just so depressed
that he just stared at the wall for three weeks.
In the first time he left his house was to
go to Costco to eat some sausages, some cheese and crackers,
(06:39):
and he felt bad, so he bought a pair of
song But I had a really beautiful story at the
end because once he got fired, NFL Network came calling
and said, muci man, you want to come hang out
an NFL network. You want to cover the super Bowl.
And he hasn't left since, and really quick story, that's
really cute. I played that during game day morning when
we're all together and he sorrand Co. I was like,
(07:03):
not really the reaction that I was hoping my comedy elicits,
but forget about that. Um So here's to Nathaniel Hackett
being asked to join some network somewhere and finding his
people because being fired the day after Christmas is not fun.
If you guys have any good stories about being fired,
I'm gonna open up my d m s and maybe
(07:25):
we'll read these next week, because that's a very good idea. Okay,
coming up after the break, uh, we're talking Thursday football
and then we're gonna get to the best, the worst
thing that I saw and heard all week long. Married Christmas,
Happy Holidays, we love you. Don't go anywhere. We'll get tonight. Okay,
(07:54):
we got Thatursday football coming up this week, and it's
you know, Graver is usually here to defend his type,
but he's not. I was like, I don't want any
Titans people on this podcast today, so Graver, you can
kick rocks. Got Cowboys Titans Thursday pm Eastern on Prime Video.
Cowboys are favored by man. I wanted the Eagles to
(08:14):
win that game so bad. I wanted it to be
Minshew mania. I wanted whomever in the end zone to
catch that last Gardner Minshew throw. He's giving essence of
Baker Mayfield, and I think that that's why I love him.
But they couldn't do it. Cowboys won, and what a
doozy of a win like that's gonna give you the
pep in the step beating the Eagles. I know that
(08:35):
they were without Jalen Hurt, but whatever, Gardner Minshew played great. Um. Also,
the Eagles are on all around great team. Cowboys have
had some rough weeks. Who do they play? The Texans?
The Jags, they had some really wonky games. So I'm
obviously going Cowboys here because I think that they're going
to turn things around the end of the season. Also,
the Titans are just you know, Graver said he's lost hope,
(08:58):
and if he's lost hope, we should all lose hope.
Going up against the Texans this week, I was like,
Derrick Henry is going to have himself. Uh day. I
think the Texans have the worst rushing defense or at
least the third worst or is bad. I thought Derrick
Henry was going to go off. I think Cynthia Freeland
on game day morning said that he was gonna have
like a thousand yards maybe not but close to that,
(09:20):
Like he was going to have one of his like
top games ever. And oh my goodness, it was not that.
It was not that at all. Malik Willis was sacked
four times two interceptions. Um, Honestly, I really like Millik
Willis and I really liked him in the preseason getting
to watch him, I think I combine um, but and
I do feel like he's being put in at the
(09:40):
right time. It's like a no pressure situation kind of.
I don't know what the Titans odds of making the playoffs,
and maybe it was high pressure. Maybe I take that back.
Maybe this was really bad for him. But he's gonna
have to try and make it work. Bryan Tannehill's out, Um,
but they're not going to make it work this time.
I am taking the Cowboys minus and um. Okay, coming
(10:01):
up after the break, we are going to talk about
the best thing and the worst thing that I saw
all weeks out of going the best all right, best
(10:25):
thing and worst thing that I saw all week. You listen.
If you guys are like fatigued of Baker Mayfield talk
at this point, skip ahead, okay, because this was the
best thing that I saw. Um. Tyler Jiggy said after
the win against the Broncos, this guy is a competitor.
He's a good quarterback. He belongs in this league and
(10:46):
he proved that today to under in thirty yards two
touchdairs joining for fascinating like let's go one of the
Nickelodeon most Valuable player of the way. I think the
nest two weeks in a row because he's not slimed.
Last I know that this was the Nickelodeon gay but
like one, I'm loving this resurgence of Baker. And I
(11:08):
hate to say it. I hate to go the other way.
I hate to get a little bit dark for the Browns.
They are looking so good right now they ain't looking
good at all. Deshaun wants it like this, this was
really what This is what I wanted. I I had
my my dream come true. The Browns did something that
I did not think was right, and they let go
of Baker Mayfield. And he wrote this beautiful letter of
(11:28):
this to the city, and I was just like, what
are we doing? This is my first football team, is
my first love, is my favorite quarterback. What are we doing?
He leaves, he goes to the Panthers, and I was
just like, you know, I kind of stopped thinking about him.
It's like, you know, I finally started to get over
my ex. And then all of a sudden, they started
showing up. They started sending me letters. They came out
(11:49):
of nowhere and they were like, hey, did you forget
about me? And I said, no, sir, I did not.
Oh my god, I'm way back in um. And then
the Browns are just doing what the what the Browns
are doing? It seems like that place is so messy
right now. And they were like, should Kevin Stabiski be fired?
Literally doing never his falled? Oh my gosh. Okay, anyways,
I don't want to get dark. It's Christmas, all right,
(12:10):
you know how I feel about the Browns, and the
Browns are are are doing Browns things right now, So
we'll just leave it to that. The worst thing that
I saw besides the Browns. Um jire. Okay, listen, I'm
I'm all for for having some fun for some show
voting all of these things. Listen gire Alexander doing the
wattle on his way out of Miami Stadium after Miami's
(12:33):
four losses in a row the Packers beat them at home.
I'm not into it. Do we have a video of this?
He did? Jalen waddles little shimmy on the way out,
and I just think that that was a little awesome
and a lot mean. Okay, don't rain on Miami's parade.
We all wanted them to finish out this season strong.
(12:54):
Okay uh. Speaking of finishing out this season strong, we
only have like one more episode for the end of
the year, so tune back in on Friday. We're gonna
have our big New Year's Eve episode. We're gonna do
some um looking towards the future. We're going to do
some New Year's resolutions, as every other single podcast in
the entire world is probably doing, but we're going to
try and make us a little bit different. Guys. And
(13:16):
by the way, NFL Plus is here, which means no
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And don't forget to follow us on all of the
things Twitter, Instagram, follow so you can see all of
(13:38):
the videos and the tweets and all of the things
that we talk about each and every week. We will
be back on Friday. Happy Mary ho ho everything, Happy Holidays,
Happy Honkah. We love you. Thank you for watching um
this podcast each and every week. I love seeing your
guy's tweets. Keep on tweeting me, and we will see
you on Friday. I'm gonna have an appome that battles
(14:03):
Battle Pot, that the Battle that batt