Ep. 5: Men's Mental Health Awareness Month

With June being Mens' Mental Health Awareness Month, Ray Roberts discusses the importance of taking care of your mental health, ways to approach improving your mental health, how your mental health is connected to everything you do, and more.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Big Raised Garage Grind. I want to
bring awareness and my voice to something that's meaningful and
purposeful more than just who's the best football player, who's
the best football team. The intersection between life, football and
mental health. When you need help and you ask for help,
you're operating from a position of power. When you need

(00:21):
help and you don't ask for help, that's the weakness.
Now here's your host, Seahawk's legend, Ray Roberts. What Up,
What Up? What Up? Fam? Welcome back to Big Raise
Garage Grind Mental Health Edition. This is episode five. So
excited to be back on the mic again and bringing

(00:41):
you guys some great content. May was Mental Health Awareness Month.
June is Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. So all you
men out there, like like Marshawn said, take care of
your mentals, and like I said, you have done four episodes,

(01:02):
this is five. We've had great responses from the listeners,
and you know, I did like a small kind of
a research to kind of see what was going on.
And I just did from the YouTube views alone from
those three or four episodes, and we've had over twelve
thousand views just on YouTube along. So that is awesome

(01:24):
because we're also one dot com and we're also on
the Apple podcasts and Spotify as well as some all
the other other podcast platforms. So I haven't been able
to kind of go into those places and see what
the views look like and the comments look like. But
from what I can tell and from the responses I've

(01:46):
gotten in the comment sections of the YouTube videos and
from just folks around town, it has been a very
positive response. And I can't thank you guys enough for
being willing to listen to my story and then also
listen to the stories of Doug and Cliff and respond

(02:07):
in the way you did you respond it. Sometimes it
can be a little bit challenging and a little bit
anxious and nervous to be that vulnerable, especially coming from men,
for one thing, and then from men that played a sport,
a gladiator sport like football. It can be a little
bit challenging to do that. But I was fortunate enough

(02:29):
to get two dudes that were willing and ready to
kind of tell this story, and very respectable influential guys
in the community. So I want to give them a
big thank you too for coming on and sharing this story.
It's not easy to kind of it's not like dirty
laundry or whatever, but it's not easy to just kind

(02:50):
of talk about the difficult parts of your life. And
you know, a lot of times, what we see on
TV on Sunday afternoons, or if it's any other sport
in the other other day of the week, whether it's
hockey or golf, or men's or women's basketball, what have you,
a lot of times you are celebrated for your mental toughness.

(03:11):
And so to say that there's parts of your life
where where your mental toughness may be struggling a little bit,
or you may need some extra help can be hard
to admit or not necessarily admit. But sometimes it's just
kind of hard to tell other people about it. And
so that sometimes ends up being what the problem is
because you kind of hold it to yourself. You keep

(03:33):
it to yourself, and then it manifests itself in different ways. So,
long story short, just excited that we were able to
get off to a good start, that we had some
great response to what we're doing. And I put together
a list of I won't read them all, but there's
quite a list of some really nice comments we had

(03:54):
that we received about the podcast. I want to say
probably one of the first ones I saw was very
inspiring conversation, great interviews, uh with this the kJ all
Day podcast and the sound of the sea Hawks series.
US Seahawks fans are eaten. And I like that because

(04:15):
that means that, you know, those are some those some
good podcasts to be listed with and those some great individuals.
So it's really good to have that response. What an
amazing and honest dialogue about mental health. I'm impressed by
both of you being so open. You're gonna help us,
You're gonna help a lot of men, And to me,
that is like the heartbeat of what this podcast is about,

(04:38):
like helping everyone in general, but men specifically, because it's
just an area that it's kind of, like I just
talked about earlier, can be looked at as kind of
a weakness if you if you're a man, you're and
you're being vulnerable that way. And we're taught, you know
a lot of times as men not to cry, not
to show emotion, and that was considered soft or not

(05:00):
for what have you. And so to be able to
have someone think that this is going to be very
helpful for the men in our audience is a makes
me feel make me feel really good another one. The
lessons learned from these stories are beyond valuable. I am
happy for Ray that he has found his piece and

(05:20):
his piece in life and still gives back by sharing
his story. That is very personal. Great interview. Love that stuff. Man.
I've always been a guy that wore my heart on
my sleeves and didn't always it wasn't always received well

(05:40):
when I was a player, but then I had to
get to a place where I had to do what
was right for me. Like I think I may have
told the story in one of my segments that was
just me about myself where I had never seen my
dad cry until his mother passed away, and I think
I may have been I think I was in college
at the time, and so maybe like my second to

(06:02):
third year of college, and I remember going home for
the funeral and I couldn't find my dad and so
I was looking around and he found him in the
bedroom and he was crying, and I didn't know what
to do because I had never seen him cry before.
You know, my dad was, you know, grew up hard,
was raised by his grandfather on a farm doing really
hard work. Didn't have you know, all the access to

(06:27):
resources and things, so it just really grind kind of
do didn't graduate, you know, middle school. You know, all
of his work was kind of like hands on work.
So it's very strong individual and so just had never
seen that side of my dad. But it was something
about that moment, even though all this time I had

(06:48):
never seen him cry, it was something about that moment
that made it made me feel it was okay for
me to show my emotions, it was okay for me
to allow my body and uh, to do what it
was designed designed to do. And then from that moment on,
I've always been a person that just kind of you know,
maybe sometimes it's a little too much, but it is

(07:10):
what it is, and uh, and so I've always been
willing to be vulnerable and too and to show my
emotions because that's what my body was designed to do.
I mean, I think, you know, not everyone listened to
the to the podcast are spiritual folks, but you know,
I think I think I'm pretty sure good on this

(07:31):
that in the Bible, the shortest sentence in the Bible
is Jesus web And so if if he can cry,
I can cry, If he can show emotion, I can
show emotion and he and then in the Bible, he
showed all of it. He showed uh, tenderness, he showed toughness,
he showed anger, all those different things. And there was
some points where there may might have been like a
little fear that creeped in. So uh so my body

(07:53):
and your body goes through all those same things. So
to be able to be vulnerable in front of people
and have people respond to it and in a positive way,
I really do, I really do appreciate it. Have some
other ones. There was another one that just said, wow,
great insight and discussion. Love the first one, love, the
second one, Thank you so much, Ray, Probably one of

(08:16):
my other best ones. It just says beautiful. That's all
it says with three exclamation points. So that was pretty awesome.
And then I want to say this last one is
this is fantastic. Ray has been as a blessing that
you made it out of that situation as stable as
you've seen. What a wonderful gift to fans to share
your story. And so if my story can be shared

(08:40):
in a way that it's going to help somebody else
live their best life, then my purpose I'm serving my
purpose for being here. I always tell people all the
time I talk to my work with Special Olympics sends
me all over the country. So I'm talking to young
people in middle school, elementary school, high school, college all

(09:00):
the time, and they want to always know about my
NFL career, and I always start by telling them that
my career in the NFL was not a final destination.
I've always viewed it as the front porch to what
the rest of my life was going to be. And
so to me, I wasn't born to be put on

(09:21):
this earth to just entertain millions of people on TV
running into the three hundred pounds men every day. My
purpose is greater than that, because my purpose is greater
than me. And this what I'm doing now, this podcast,
this content, this topic area, the impact that I want
to have, the influence I want to have, the people

(09:41):
I want to help. This is what my purpose is
and this is where I feel comfortable. This is where
I feel like I'm making an impact. So to be
able to receive a lot of the comments on these
YouTube videos, man, I'm not even gonna lie like speaking
of crime like I had a little tear my eye
because I felt sometimes you're not sure how things are

(10:03):
going to be received. H and you're not sure if
people are going to make fun of it or joke
it or not take it seriously. But every single comment
I read was was positive and and it made me
feel like I was in the right lane that I
needed to be in. So I wanted to spend a
little more time on that, just so because I wanted
to recognize that or acknowledge that people are being influenced

(10:26):
and impacted and really listening to what we have to share.
So moving on from that, just trying to think through,
you know, some of the things that some of my
thoughts around mental health, and I came up with this idea,
And so people, I would imagine would ask them themselves

(10:46):
the question why focus on your mental health? And I
would say that the short answer is why not. But
I did a little bit of research, not a whole lot,
just enough to kind of have some information and be

(11:07):
able to know what I'm talking about. But when people
think about mental health, they're always thinking about it, or
most times thinking about it from like this negative, negative perspective,
this negative place like oh, there must be something broken,
or there had to be some type of trauma or
whatever that you're that you're operating from, and so then

(11:29):
people think of that as something different than if their
physical self needed the same type of attention. And so
I did a little research and from what I found
is that if you combined the the total amount of
money that people in this country spend on going to

(11:50):
the gym, health and fitness club, and health and fitness equipment,
and then you combine that with the money they been
on diets like dietary programs and healthy eating and all
that stuff, it is almost three times as much money
as they spend on mental health. But if you think

(12:14):
about all of those things, the physical fitness, the health
club card, the eating, well, all of that stuff can
be there's a direct line that is connected to your
mental health because a lot of times the reasons that
we're going to the gym and the reasons that we're

(12:35):
trying to lose weight is because of our body image.
And our body image is shaped by all the things
that we that we see that speak to it. So
it can be commercials, it can be movies, It can
be toys that that make you feel like this is
the perfect body, like the I know I'm dating myself,
but like the Barbie doll like if I mean, like you,

(12:57):
people think you have to have this that that type
of body, or if you're Arnold Schwarzenegger as a as
a guy or whoever, it is that you have to
have this body, and that creates a lot of mental
stress for people. And so when I think about mental health,
and I think I said this in one of my
little big raised garage grind moments, is that you should

(13:18):
approach mental health the same way you approach your your
physical fitness, because they're connected if you don't think they are.
I looked up the definition of body image, and according
to the National Eating Disorder Association, which is another eating disorder,

(13:41):
is another mental health issue, it can be defined as
our thoughts, perceptions, and attitudes about one's physical appearance. And
so our thoughts is a mental is a mental thing.
Our perception is a mental thing, and our attitudes are
also a mental thing. And so there whether we have

(14:01):
a positive body image, being comfortable, like and confident in
your body, or if you have a negative one, it
also includes your mental health. And so when you think about,
you know, what are the things that show up in
negative body image? It includes things like feeling shame, anxiety,

(14:22):
or self consciousness about your shape, as well as distorted
perceptions of physical appearance, and a lot of times that
comes from comparison and so comparison yourself to other people.
So when I'm saying that mental health should be approached
the same way that you approach your eating habits or

(14:43):
your exercise habits, based on how you feel about yourself,
it's all connected. So it's not just about hey, like,
I'm responding to some trauma that happened in my life,
or I'm being triggered by something. It is our mental
health and wellness to every single thing that we do,
every response that you have, every like and you may

(15:06):
not even understand why you're responding a certain way, is
is usually a result of some type of experience that
has changed our mind or set. Our mindset, which is
also mindset, is another realm of mental health and will
wellness to respond that way. And so I think you've
heard a little bit of that in some of the

(15:28):
conversation that we had with Cliff and Doug, and I'll
talk about that a little bit later, but just you know,
even Doug saying that he had to like think about
how he was raising his three daughters. You know, coming
from the background, uh that that he had. And so
when you think about mental health, some of those same
things that show up for negative body image are some

(15:52):
of the same things that you work on in therapy.
Like they they mentioned anxiety here, well, I mean that's
like the main thing that I deal with is anxiety
that leads to these kind of panic attacks that I have,
you know, and depression can certainly be part of that.
If you don't feel like you're you're able to put
into work, or you're able to lose the weight, or

(16:13):
you're able to the results you're trying to get at
the gym or from eating aren't working, that continue to
a crazy place, especially if other people are commenting on it,
like as a it just so happened last night. I
was watching I don't mean I think some show, I
don't know, it's some like reality show, and it was
this lady who is a influencer and she's a bigger

(16:39):
I don't know how to say it without it being
politically incorrect, but she's a heavier woman. But she does
like magazine commert I mean, ads for like swimsuits and
stuff like that. And so she got on a plane
she actually videotaped this. She got on a plane and
she sat in the seat and she you know, she's

(16:59):
a slightly bigger lady. And the guy sitting next to
her was texting his friend and on the text he
was saying, like, man, this lady sitting beside me is
spilling all into is spilling all into my space. And
then his friend responded, hope she's not eating Mexican food.

(17:21):
And then the guy sitting in a chair beside her responded,
what looks like she ate a Mexican. Well, she saw
all of that, and so to be able to see
that and then think about the people that don't have
the confidence that she had to confront it in the
moment and videotape it and have the conversation with this
guy and gracefully the dude apologized. But like those types

(17:44):
of comments and those types of things for a less
stronger woman would have an impact on that person's body
image of the way that could be very negatively impacted
and to all the shame, the anxiety, the self consciousness,
all of that stuff can come up. And then when
you think about body image, women are the ones that

(18:04):
suffer negatively from it the most, just because of all
the all the comparison and all the the people that
we put on a pedestal uh that are our beautiful women,
uh may or may not look like them. And so
then you there's the pressure to do that. So uh
so that this idea around not approaching mental health, it's

(18:27):
just part of your normal routine. To me, that is
one that needs just needs to change. If you're going
to the gym, you need to spend you know, and
I'm not saying that like everyone has to go to therapy,
but like even taking self care, like pulling yourself out
of situations to just kind of spend time on your
by yourself, taking a long walk, going on a vacation,
you know, maybe you know, if you can afford it,

(18:49):
like finding an airbnb, like out in the you know,
out of nature somewhere and just kind of kind of
bend by yourself and let yourself reset, you know, if
you're if you're a couple, like allowing eat you know,
your your spouse to have time to kind of recharge
and reset, or be able to just sit and listen
to them talk about what what it is that they're

(19:10):
dealing with it the things that are going through all
of those things are part of self care and all
of those things are part of mental health and wellness.
Mental health and wellness doesn't mean that you have to
be in therapy, you know, once a week, you know, uh,
you know every week of the of the year. Uh.
It just means that you need to take time to
tend to those things that are that are from a

(19:32):
mental perspective, mindset, mentality, however you want to phrase it.
That's having a negative impact on your lived experience and
on you being able to be your best self. And
so that can you know, even if it means like hey,
like it's okay to let grandma and grandpa, you know,
babysit so that you can have a night out with

(19:53):
your spouse, Like, that's mental health and wellness too, you know,
it's not not. I think some people think of mental
health and wellness as like this thing where you're just
gonna be crying all the time and you're gonna be
deep into your emotions and that you're gonna have to
be sharing like these super vulnerable things about yourself. But
that's that's that's part of it, and that can be

(20:14):
some of it, and it can be that for people
for a long time. But it's also like I like
to just be around water. So sometimes I go down
to Lake Washington and just sit on the lake and
just listen to the waves crashing. There's something about being
around that sound that kind of that kind of resets me.
And so I find little spots all over Lake Washington,

(20:35):
either on the East side or on the Seattle side,
to just kind of go hang out and just just
be just be one with Lake Washington, if you want
to call it that. In the summertimes, starting to probably
in the next week or so, every Saturday, I go
for hikes. I just I hike somewhere to where there's
a water fountains, I mean waterfalls, and I take my

(20:58):
swim trunks. I hike in my swim trunks, and I
have some some shoes in case to some water shoes
in case the water's cold. And every spot I hike too,
I jump into water. I don't care how cold it is,
and the people around to be looking at me like
I'm crazy, But it's just something about taking the hike
just kind of bend by myself. I don't wear you know,

(21:19):
you do what you do, but I don't wear earphones
because I just want to be able to hear the wind.
I want to hear the leaves. I want to hear
the birds. I want to hear whatever it is there
is for me to hear, and it just kind of
helps me reset myself. And then, uh, usually the hikes
I don't do, like hard hikes. I'm a big dude,
broken down body, like you know, I'm not gonna be
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna hike you know, some
of these big, big, big hikes. But I take hikes

(21:41):
that are probably medium. I would say, uh, uh, that
kind of challenged me a little bit. But then part
of jumping in the water helps me get that kind
of uh you know, NASA, like when you're when you
play football and you're jump in the cold up. It
kind of gives me that the thing and then my
my muscles get reset, my breathing gets reset, my mind,
my my my focus gets reset. Then I can get

(22:02):
back down, uh, get back down the hike. But uh,
last year, I think there may have been maybe one
weekend that I didn't that I did not get to
uh get to a hike. And I think I was
traveling and I did what I would call like an
urban hike. I was in Orlando, I just kind of
walked the city versus finding a hike. But uh so,
mental health and wellness isn't just all about uh you know,

(22:26):
uh laying down on the couch, uh in an in
an office with the dim light and the person in
your therapist sitting across from you with a pen and
pad and and you're spilling your guts uh to to
them about all the things that are not going right
in your life. Uh. And we'll hear a little bit
excuse me a little bit later about Doug about from

(22:46):
Doug like his perspective on mental health and his approach
to to it. Like not everything comes from a space
of negativity. Sometimes it comes from a place of being
proactive and uh and being responsive that way. So, just
to reiterate again, take care of your mental health and wellness,

(23:07):
whether that is therapy if you need it. Reach out
to some of your medical team or your physicians and
they can recommend people or give you a list of
names to reach out to. If you're a former NFL player,
we have a tremendous amount of resources in an NFL.
The first point of contact I would reach out to

(23:29):
is the NFL trust. They will assign you a case manager,
and then that case manager can help you access all
of the other resources that are available where there is
I think they have a hospital network now so that
some of the therapists and doctors and things have been
vetted a little bit. Whereas before they would just give
you a list of fifty or sixty names and you

(23:51):
had to sort through them all by yourself. Now they're
getting a little bit more purposeful with who they're certifying
to be physicians and therapists under this under this benefit
that we have, and so make sure that you engage that.
H There's a lot of other resources beyond mental health.
There's financial resources that can sometimes if you're struggling financially,

(24:14):
that can impact your mental health. So it's all of
the stuff is connected. So if you're a former NFL
player or reach out to the to the NFL Trust,
UH and then just ask and pursue whatever the services
are that that you need. If you if you are
obviously not a former NFL player or NFL player or
professional athlete, UH, there are resources you can google different

(24:40):
platforms that will give you access to therapists and rank
them and tell you a little bit about what their
background is. All that your physicians can do that, but
there are people out there that are willing, able and
ready to help. The other part of it is there's
a medical piece of it too. Like so when I
first start this journey, I received some medication for depression

(25:04):
and I took it, and after about a month or
three weeks, it didn't seem to be working, so I
stopped taking it and thought like, well, this stuff doesn't
work for me. But then years later, obviously this time
last year, I was talking to a psychiatrist in the
program I was in that the that the NFL sent
me to, and she explained the medication that it you

(25:25):
have to it has to build up in your system
before it takes effect, and sometimes that can take, you know,
maybe a month to six weeks, so you have to
give it some time for the work. And sometimes there
are chemical imbalances that the medication can help that can
help balance that out to kind of help with your
mood too. And then you can combine that with the therapy,
and then I think you can be on your way,

(25:46):
and then you can wan yourself off the medication once
you kind of learned some of the therapy, I mean
some of the coping mechanisms and skills that it takes
to manage whatever it is that you're dealing with. And
uh and so for me, it like now I take
a medication for the depression part, but for the anxiety
part and for some of the panic stuff. Man, I've

(26:08):
nailed down the different coping skills that work for me. Uh,
so that I can so that I can manage it
that way, and uh and so you can you can
do the same thing. I'm pretty sure you can. And
it is a journey. It's not a fixed, overnight type
of thing. It's not You're not gonna go to therapy
once or twice and then everything that you're dealing with
is gonna be nailed. You're not gonna go on a hike,

(26:33):
you know, for one time and then think like, Okay,
I'm good for the rest of my life. Like you'll
come up with a routine there there is there is comfort,
and there is uh positivity, and there is success in
creating a routine. And so I have a couple of
guys that I went to that I was in this
program with last year that I'll send them a text

(26:54):
and just be like, yo, man, I'm struggling today, and
they'll go like, hey, Ray, what's your routine? Like are
you are you going to the gym, are you getting
your walk in? Are you going on your hikes? Are
you eating right? Because when I'm when I'm struggling, man,
I uber eats loves Big Ray, because I will freaking
uber eat it all night long when when I'm in
one of those places. And so that's one of the

(27:15):
first indicators to me that I'm not in a good
place is when I'm not, you know, going to the
grocery store cooking meals, but I'm just uber eating everything
and that is not healthy for me, and it just
kind of makes things even worse. So there are ways
to address the things that you're dealing with. And if
you approach it as if it's just a normal part

(27:35):
of your routine and how you go about doing your
work and how you go about living your life, it
being your best self. You show up as a better friend,
you show up as a better father, a better mother,
a better partner, a better husband, a better wife, a
better brother, a better sister, a better a citizen of
the of your community and uh, and so you're just

(27:56):
it'll just it impacts so much of who you are
and how you respond to things that it would be
that is necessary to treat it that way. Like I
started this piece of this conversation by saying that if
you combine the amount of money that Americans I'm not
even talking about the world, it's probably even more across
the world that the Americans spend on gim equipment, gym memberships,

(28:20):
and and health and fitness, combine that with what they
spend on dietary like weight loss food programs. It would
be three times the amount of money that people spend
that we spend for our mental health. And if you
look at all of those things, why you go to
the gym, why you're trying to lose weight, why you're
buying health equipment, all of that can be traced right

(28:44):
back to what your mental health status is based on
a lot of times your body image, whether it's positive
or negative. So I hope that you guys can hear
me say that there is no shame, there is no weakness,
there is there is nothing to fear about addressing and

(29:07):
attending to your mental health and wellness. So I mentioned
a little bit in here and I kind of commented
about Doug being proactive and his approach to his mental
health once he retired. And and I kind of mentioned
this a little bit of maybe one or two lines
and one of the big Ray Garage Grinds moments. But

(29:29):
I wanted to talk just a little bit more about
what I learned from these interviews with Cliff and Doug.
And one of the main things, the first couple of
things that I've learned, is that mental health is not
a one size fits all. And I think when people
think of it sometimes they go like, oh, well, that's

(29:50):
not me, so I don't need it. And it's like, yeah,
but like what are you Like, what are those things
that are showing up in your life that are that
are allowing you to not be your best self? And
how they're showing up. They may not show up the
same like you can have the me Doug and Cliff
played the same sport, kind of had some similarities in

(30:10):
our background. Even Cliff and I are talking about our
father's passing away kind of like in the same in
the same way before a game, you know, before the
start of a season. Uh, you can have the same experiences,
but you can respond to it differently and and it
may manifest itself differently, and and how you how you are,
it may trigger itself differently. So mental health is not

(30:34):
a one size fits all and and because of that,
you know, you have to understand that we are all unique.
We're unique, and how we live where unique, and how
we uh interpret things we're unique, and how we respond
to things we're unique, and how we receive things, uh,
and our needs are just as unique. So for me,

(30:58):
I got to a place where I had to go
to a residential facility to put some I put thirty
two days of purposeful, intentional, uninterrupted focused attention on my
mental health. That may not that's not for everybody. I
don't expect everyone to do it that way. But for me,

(31:20):
in the situation I was in that I felt I
was in, I needed to do that because I could not.
In the schedule that I had, the work I was doing,
the life I was living, there was no way I
was going to carve out the time to take care
of this if I didn't go. I need to put
everything down and go tend to this because it was

(31:41):
impacting every single part of my life. But there's other
people that maybe they baby they just need to do
a monthly therapy session. There's other people that maybe they
just need to make sure that in their work schedule
because they worked so much there, that they go, like
each month, I'm going to carve out this day or
this half day or whatever, just for me, just for

(32:01):
me to focus on me, to read a book, to
go for a walk, to go for a hike, to
go for a swim, to go for a drive like
I love driving, like I'll just I'll get in my car,
turn the music up, turn put down, all the windows open,
the sun roof, and it'll be three o'clock in the morning.
I'm just driving. I just need to go drive. And
as I'm not driving to any particular place, I just

(32:22):
need to get out in the car, get away from
the distractions in my house, the food, the TV's, laying
on the couch, getting in the bed, all those different
kinds of things, video games. I just need to get
away from all those distractions. And I'll just get in
my car and I go for a drive. And uh.
And so you don't have to do it three o'clock
in the morning, but you you know, but you could
you could do it whenever whenever it works for you.

(32:44):
But for me, I don't sleep very well at all,
and so sometimes at three o'clock in the morning, man,
I can just feel the car in the road call
to me, and I just go for a drive. And
just as a short little story about that. So one
time it was about three o'clock in the morning and
I was feeling super anxious and I could not get
comfortable on the couch and the bed, in the chair

(33:05):
on the floor. I couldn't eat enough. I couldn't. I
must have ate a whole stack of Oreo cookies, which
isn't good for my diabetes. I had a you know, sodas,
like all this stuff. I could not find any source
of comfort. And so I'm like, you know what, I'm
just gonna get in the car and go for a drive.
And so I live in Woodinville. I jumped on four
or five, started heading north and just driving, listening to music,

(33:27):
singing out loud, like just living my best self as
a driver. And next thing I know, I was at
the Canadian border, and I was like, oh oh, because
this is at a time where they would not allow
any like tourists across the border because of COVID. It's
only like commercial vehicles could go. Well, I didn't have

(33:48):
There's no way for me to turn around. And so
I pulled up to the pulled up to the gate,
and the guy was like, what are you doing? And
I was like, man, this is gonna sound weird, but
I just went I just need to go for a
drive and I ended up here. And he goes like, what, Like,
what do you mean you ended up here? I said,
just one of those nights, man, I just need to
go for a drive. And this dude was looking at

(34:09):
me like, uh, yeah, this dude is like cuckoo for
cocoa puffs and uh. And then he goes, well, where
are you from? And I'm like, I'm from Woodinville, Washington.
And he goes, man, that's like over two hour drive
and you just you just drove and you ended up here.
I said, yeah, man, I can't explain it. I just
I just needed to go for rod and here I am.
And so he goes, all right, well, then follow this
guy loop around, you know, go back through. Well then
I had to tell the same story to the guy

(34:31):
that was uh to the to the border guy for
the for the United States, and he was just looking
at me like this dude was so perplexed that the
only thing he could say was Okay, just be safe
getting home, because I can tell he was looking at me,
going like, what is going on with this dude, Like like,
you just went for a drive and you ended up here,

(34:52):
and I'm like, yeah, that's kind of where I ended up.
But sometimes I go south and I drive to Olympia
and back, you know, like I just it's just what.
Sometimes I just drive to Bellevue. Sometimes I drive to Kirkland.
Sometimes I might just drive around Woodenville. But it's just
a way for me to kind of settle my thoughts
and be at peace with myself, and I can go
back home and go to bed. But so we are

(35:14):
unique in our experiences, we are unique in our responses.
One size does not fit all. Those were some very
valuable lessons for me that I heard from Cliff and Doug,
because sometimes when I get into this space, I get
so convicted by what I believe in what I think

(35:34):
that I can be stubborn and I can get to
a place where I'm not listening to people, but I'm
trying to I'm on my soapbox because this is something
I really truly believe in and I'm trying to like
preach this into you. So it was good to hear
them how they went about this and their experiences and
their journey, because then it kind of opened my eyes
to the idea that like, yeah, Ray, like that might

(35:56):
be how you did it, but that doesn't mean that
everyone has to do it that way. And so then
it kind of allowed me to kind of re focus
and repurpose like my messaging and how I'm going about
trying to really promote this stuff. So we are unique,
and our experiences, we're unique, and the things that that
that we that we need and and I mean our
needs are just as unique. And then not one size

(36:18):
fit all. And then more specifically talking to Cliff, it
was interesting because he talked about how his mom kind
of set the pace for him and that his mom
had to deal with a lot of things as a
single mom and and uh and and or taking care
of a lot of stuff, and and then she didn't

(36:39):
have time sometimes to to kind of think about what
it is that she needed. She just needed to get
it done, and so she had this mindset of muscling
through some tough stuff. And so the idea of around
mindset is that that word again, that's also that your
mindset is also a mental health and wellness thing, and
that and be a positive mental health and wellness space

(37:03):
where you're going like, yeah, I'm I take on these
challenging things because there are things that I have to
get done that there's a lot of positivity in that
and so and so that was one of the things
that really struck me with Cliff because because he under
he understood that or that he learned or inherited from

(37:23):
his mom. This this mindset of of getting things done
that can sometimes help you get you know, get to
where you need to go, whether it's like a mental
physical thing or where you have to support your family,
or if it's your playing hurt in football or whatever
it was. You know, this this idea around this tough
get it and I just kind of characterize it as

(37:45):
a as just need to get it done mindset and uh,
and I thought that was that was that was valuable.
And then he also talked about, uh, how his walk
to this mental health journey around therapy and things was

(38:05):
expediated or encouraged to support it by his wife. And
actually Doug had the same story that his wife kind
of encouraged and supported him, which then led me to
another point that's important to understand is that it's important
to have a team. It's important to have a and

(38:26):
that team can be one person that kind of understands
that it's not judgmental, that understands that you need to
help or or some resources to be your best self.
You know, when I was going through this last year,
As a matter of fact, I would have been a
week out of the residential program I was in last

(38:49):
year at this time because I came home right before
two days before Father's Day. But when I was going
through the stuff I was going through, man, I was
fortunate to have my ex wife, Beth Roberts, and I
was fortunate that we have a great relationship because she
could hear the struggle and she could see that in

(39:11):
the struggle, I could not figure out what to do.
I couldn't know. I didn't know if I should go
up or down, left, the right, you know, fast or slow, Like,
I didn't know what to do. And so she reached
out to Sandy Gregory, who used to work with the Seahawks,
and then they helped me find this place that the
that the NFL supports to get me to that place,

(39:32):
and so it was good to have somebody in my
corner that that understood what I was dealing with and
wasn't in a place to judge me, but a place
into wanting to help me get to my best to
my best place. And I have some other folks, uh
you know that that kind of helped me with with
that too. But it's important, uh to have a team,

(39:52):
and that could be a team of one. I just
mentioned that when I was at this uh it's called
the ATI after the impact program that I went to
with the through the NFL, there were two guys there
that I met that we just became really really close
and those those dudes are part of my team. Those
are those are the guys I can text and say,
like yesterday, like I was just in this weird space,

(40:13):
like I didn't feel up. I didn't feel great, but
I didn't feel bad either. I was just in this
kind of foggy space. Couldn't figure out, you know, what
I was thinking. So I texted my guys say hey, man,
like I just just pray for me, or like this
is just what I'm feeling. Sometimes I just say it
and that kind of helps me get over it. And
then like I said, they text back like hey, like
are you getting your walk in? Are you eating right?

(40:34):
You know, like are you counting the small victories? All
these different little things. Every time I text them, it's
never there's never judgment coming back. There's always encouragement, support.
And then reminded me of what the things that the
things that I need or the things that I do
that helped me reset. So that idea of having a
team was important. And then and actually I think it

(40:58):
was yesterday, I was listening to the radio, Seattle Sports
Radio and Brough, I mean, uh, Mike Sulk was interviewing
the Mariners mental skills coach Adam I think it's Bernero.
And it was interesting because to me, I don't care

(41:22):
how you said. You can say mindset, mental health or wellness,
or you can say mental skills coach. We're all talking
about the same stuff. And so the so even the
team has a team, you know, of mental health, and
I'm sure that Seattle has one. And there's more teams
in professional professional sports that are starting to employ mental

(41:42):
health therapists. Regardless of how you how you label them,
they're kind of doing some of the same work. But
it was interesting because this guy was talking about how
in between the plays, in between the moments, in between
the at bats, in between the pitch, in between the
fuilding uh, that that's where he does his work because

(42:04):
depending on how those things went, doubt creeps in, fear
creeps in, anxiousness, creeps in, panic uh creeps in, and
so it's important to have someone there, a team that
can help you reset that. And so basically, these two
dudes that I text all the time, if you want
to call it that, they're my mental skills coaches, because
they know the skills that that that that I've shared

(42:27):
with them that helped me reset myself, and they remind
me of those skills. And that's what this mental skills
coach does. If you if if you've gone up and
you and you're a four uh swinging a bat, and
you're and you're swinging at pitches that you normally don't
swing at because you're your panic to kind of get
a hit. It's in between those pitches that this coach
shows up, that his training shows up, that the that

(42:50):
the work that you guys have done together shows up.
And so so basically that that guy Adam walks them
to a mental many mental health session so that they
can get themselves refocused and reset and and get the
positivity back, get the confidence back, get rid of the anxiousness,
get their cool calmon, collect itselves back so they can

(43:12):
go see the pitch, h hit the ball, catch the ball,
you know, uh, get there, get their mindset right to
get their their pitching motion back and together. So uh
so everybody, everybody needs a team. And and and it's
interesting how this this emphasis on mental health is showing
up in different places and it's just been called different things,

(43:33):
but it's still operating under the same umbrella of mental
health and wellness. And so it just that was just
a little sidetracked a little bit. But then talking to Doug,
it was really interesting because I didn't know what to expect,
but I know that Doug is a very purposeful, intentional person.
Like I never really sat down with him and talked

(43:54):
to him, but just listening to his his postgame interviews,
listen to the stories I've heard about him, watching how
he goes about his work, I could just tell that
that was part of his makeup, that he's not a dude.
That that is usually like for me, I can be
off the Cuff and the dudes like that we do
the pregame show with pregame postgame show with They'll tell

(44:14):
you like yeah, like like sometimes I'm just flying. I'm
just I'm just going off the handle of the off
the dome, if you want to call it that. But
Doug is a much more intentional and purposeful and the
words that he say, if he says a word to you,
whatever phrase he uses it, it is something that has

(44:35):
been thought through. It is something that he is either
in the moment or beforehand, has thought about exactly what
it is he's going to say and how he's going
to say it, because he wants it to have the
most impact. And so being able to talk to him
just kind of reaffirmed everything that I like about to
do from a distance, and so it's really cool to

(44:56):
get to talk to him. But the thing that I
like about what he said is that he realized, and
this requires a tremendous amount of self awareness, which is
also part of mental health, that he was retiring from
this space that really relied on a lot of your

(45:16):
physical ability to overcome, and he was about to go
home to three daughters and a wife, not saying that
women can't be coached tough. I coached women's basketball for
a few years, and so they want to be coached
just as hard as anybody else wants to be coached.

(45:37):
But he understood that his physical approach to sports was
not going to be a good approach to our mindset.
I don't say I don't think he was ever going
to go in and like, you know, be physical with
his daughters. But I think he realized he had to
get some of that stuff in check, and so he
was proactive in trying to make sure that he was

(45:57):
in the right mindset, that his mental health was in
the right place to be to show up as the
best person, the best father, and the best husband he
could show up for four women in his household. And
that to me was another eye opener. Like in my response,
in my history and my journey, it has always been
a response to something like a response to a trauma

(46:19):
or response to some trigger. Uh, And I had never
thought about it as being something as proactive, and honestly,
like his story about being proactive in his approach to
it is what then drove me to go like, okay, well,
then this should also be part of your routine, like
you're like you're you know, going to the gym or

(46:40):
eating right or any of the other things that you're doing,
Like you attending to your mental health and wellness should
be a proactive thing, so that then when the times
come up where you have to be reactive, you know
you have some sense or some place to go, or
some knowledge about how to go about things, or how

(47:00):
to seek help, or there's a coping mechanism that you've
learned or whatever it is. And so that was that
was a big moment for me. And and so because
it is really, really, really really hard to transition from
the locker room culture that you're in uh with with
dudes that are, for the most part, trying to be

(47:24):
who they think you want them to be, versus being themselves,
which is usually some tough version of yourself, some macho
version of yourself. It's really hard to go from that.
And the physical nature and mentality of our game. It's
hard to transition from that to then going back into
the home, like even just the scheduling of things, Like

(47:46):
I remember after I retired and I'm at home now
and I was getting in the way, I was in
the way of what my wife was doing I was
in the way, in the way of like how my
kids operated throughout the day. So I'm like, man, I
got to figure out how how do I how do
I integrate myself into the into the the culture of
their locker room, which is their house and living and

(48:09):
so even that transition is difficult. And then you go
from this place where a lot of your issues and
problems was solved by being bigger, stronger, faster. That doesn't
necessarily happen when you have a five year old son
of daughter sitting on your lap and you're trying to
talk them through a situation and you're trying to teach
them something, or they're a teenager going through that whole
peer pressure stuff. They're getting bigger, stronger, faster. Mentality doesn't

(48:31):
necessarily fit those things. There are some other things that fit,
like resilience and and I think, uh Cliff says a
little bit about this, the resilience piece, the perseverance piece. Uh.
You know, like some of some of those types of
things are are things that are valuable for for other

(48:54):
parts of your life, but some of the more physical
in nature, solving things with my physical self, you know,
with with That's that's why there's a huge connection between
uh football. To me, at least this is like my
un scientific research, but comment to me, there's a connection
between this physical nature of football and domestic violence because

(49:16):
because we're taught to handle things physically, your your manhood
is challenged. I remember being in a situation where a player.
A player was this big tight end and he rode
this little scooter to class all the time. And and

(49:38):
because he rode this scooter, like, some of the coaches
like challenged his manhood, like man, like your big old
guy riding that little scooter, like you know, and you
could just imagine in the locker room culture what things
were being said at this dude. Well then this guy
finds himself in a bar one night and had a
few beers and some dudes challenged his manhood. He got
into a big fight. Well then all of a sudden,

(50:00):
the team wants to suspend him from the team. And
I'm like, well, you can't do that, and like wow,
I'm like because you you kind of encouraged this by
challenging his manhood all the time. So now he's in
this place and he responds in this manly, physical place way,
and you want to punish him for it. Yes, it
was the wrong place, but this is what this is
how you've been This is how this guy has been
conditioned to think. And so that's no different when you

(50:23):
retire from the NFL and go home. And so then
it was important for Doug to be proactive and that
he was getting his mindset right and his mental health
in a place where he could make sure that he
was showing up in the right way for his family.
And then also, like I mentioned, his wife also was
in support of him, uh, you know, doing some some

(50:44):
therapy work, and so he has a team his wife
that that really supported, encouraged, uh, didn't shame, didn't didn't blame,
all these different types of things to get him uh
to this, to this therapy place. So those are to
me very valuable lessons because to me, I consider myself

(51:06):
a life learner. And so if you open yourself up
and expect to learn something from people, a lot of
times you end up learning stuff from people. And so
it was really cool to be able to talk to
those two guys and UH and be able to hear
their approach to it, because it really opened my eyes
on even how I'm communicating this mission I'm on. And

(51:27):
then also that that it doesn't have to always be reactive,
that it can be proactive. And then as we're as
we're talking about Doug and Cliff, they do have their uh,
their Champions of Change All Star Game coming up I
think tomorrow actually, and I don't know, maybe there's some

(51:51):
tickets still available, but if you want to see you
can go to Champions of Change Foundation. I think it's
dot com website and I think you can purchase tickets there.
But it's for a great cause. Is a all star
basketball game, and looking at the lineup, there's some great
cool dudes that are going to be there. So remember,
if you have time, if you want something to do tomorrow,

(52:12):
thinking at seven o'clock that that that is happening, So
go to that website and check it out. Also want
to give a big shout out to Doug Baldwin. I
think last week or over the weekend he opened up
his Family First Center and renting a Family First Community
Center and renting and to me, this is to me, like,
I don't know if this was Doug's intention or if

(52:34):
this is part of what he's doing, but man, this
Family First Community Center is going to also serve the
mental health and wellness of people, because there's going to
be medical access there, there's going to be food access there,
there's gonna be a job training access there, and all
of those things. The lack of those things can negatively

(52:56):
have a negative impact on your mental health. And so
this Family First Community Center is freaking awesome. It's amazing.
I'm so excited for what Doug is doing and how
he's trying to impact the community. There's a lot of
people that we hear a lot of words around what
they are going to do and how they can do
it and what they would do, and Doug has just

(53:17):
done nothing but put his boots on the ground and
go get it done. And so really excited for that.
I can't wait to go visit it myself and hopefully
find ways that I can engage the community center and
bring some other resources from some of my connections to
the center to keep enriching what he's making accessible to
that community. So big ups to Doug and Cliff for

(53:40):
their engagement in the community and trying to make a
difference through actions and not just the words. So before
we wrap up here, there's just a couple of other
things I wanted to talk about and I can spend
a little bit more time on this, but I wanted
to talk a little bit about some of the stuff
that I mentioned in in the episodes and the recordings

(54:02):
about myself and and I and I thought about this,
and I was thinking about my my three older sisters
that also uh listened to the podcast, and some of
my family members and my and my my dad's and
mom's family. And because I did mention that, uh, there
was some negative impact in my life based on the

(54:23):
experience you know, I've I've had with with parents and
uh and I've mentioned earlier about uh, you know, my
dad crying for the first time and how they had
a positive impact on me. And I love my parents.
There is no other parents I would want to have
in my life other than the ones I had. You know,
I learned a lot from them. But but we all

(54:44):
have some type of wound or pain point or whatever
that comes from the way we were parented or the
situation we came from. And so I'm not I didn't
mention those things about you know, my dad, uh treatment
of my mom as a way to discredit my dad
or shame my dad or talk bad about my dad,

(55:04):
but it's my It was it was things I had
to come to terms with to understand why I was
being triggered a certain way and why I was responding
to things a certain way. So it was I had
to go do that work to figure out what was
what was impacting those things in me and how those
things were showing up. As a matter of fact, I
was listening to a video my son Price, who's graduated

(55:25):
from Woodville High School a couple of weeks ago, will
be going to Portland State on a football scholarship reporting
August second, so go Vikings protect the ship. Uh, And
he showed me this video of this very prominent NBA player,
and the player was talking about how he was in
high school. In school, he was bullied, and he was

(55:48):
a bully and and part and he was a little
bit shameful about he didn't think he was a smart person,
and so he would always be fearful to talk talk
about his work or to show what grade he made
or whatever it was. And then in the same verse,
he was talking about how tough his dad was. But
we've heard him talk about how the toughness of toughness

(56:11):
of his dad helped him be the man that he
is in a positive way. And uh, but I don't
know that that he had drawn the connection between how
whatever was happening at home was showing up how he
was responding in school, because you don't you're not just
born a bully, like you're like this is you're you're

(56:32):
serving some type of need or you're you're trying to
create some type of response that you feel like that
you need. Uh. And and so some of the things
that he was saying was doing had to be based
on some other way he was being treated in some
other part of his life, not saying he was being
treated negatively. But there are things that we do as
parents that that we have are well intentioned, but it

(56:52):
maybe sometimes uh, you know, comes across as not the
way we wanted it, you know, like for me, for instance,
like my dad parented my older sister really hard because
he was like if if if I showed that Benita
can't do it, then the rest of them will know
they can't do it. And so then heck, there's no
textbook for how to parent, and there's no perfect time

(57:16):
to be a parent. And so that's how I parented.
I parented my oldest really hard, hoping that the other
the other two would kind of fall in line. And
and because of that, there's some things that I've had
to work through with my with my older with my
older child, and I had to come to the realization
I had to hear him tell me this and then
come to the realization that, yeah, like that's what I did.

(57:39):
So how do we how do we overcome that, how
do we fix that? How do we reconcile that? And
so so it's there was nothing that I was trying
to say about my dad, uh that I was trying
to say that he was a bad dad or whatever.
But we all have these pain points that that we
that we deal with that through our childhood. Whether it's uh,

(58:01):
it may not even be the parent, it could be
like an honor uncle, grandparent, some other adult in your
life or whatever. But there. I saw this quote the
other day that was talking about mental health, and it
was saying that the first point of contact that that
has the greatest impact on a on a child around
mental health is the voice of the parent, because you're

(58:21):
the ones when they're little, You're the ones that they're
listening to, You're the ones that are tending to all
their needs and and uh and and and and in
their life, Like you're you're the one giving all the advice,
You're the one setting all the standards. You're the one
creating a curfew. You're the one solving all the problems.
You're the one that's putting out all the discipline. So
you're your impact as a parent, Uh, from the very beginning.

(58:47):
The words you use, the the when you choose to
use them, the tone you use, all of that stuff
is the first interaction. Uh, that's gonna have impact on
a child's mental health, wether it's positive, negative, what have you.
And you're going to have a bit of all of it, because,
like I said, there's no textbook to parenting. We all
make mistakes and so but it was really interesting when

(59:09):
I heard that because a lot of times I think
people or parents maybe don't want to come to terms
with that, but hey, it is, it is what it is.
We're not perfect, and we're and and we we make
those kind of mistakes. The other thing I mentioned in there,
there were two phrases that I mentioned in some of
those first two talks. One was called cognitive distortions, and

(59:33):
cognitive distortions are technical therapeutic. It's a technical therapeutic phrase
which basically means that there's evidence in front of you
that speaks counter to what you think about yourself and
and and it's important for you to be able to

(59:55):
hear and receive those those things, those cognitions that you
are distorting. So for me, you know, I'm not gonna lie.
Get divorced was really hard on me. It was like
the most difficult thing ever in the history of my life.
It was the most disappointing, impactful thing I've ever this

(01:00:19):
has ever happened in my life. And and because of that,
that's kind of how I view I view myself a
lot that way. It's like, man, look like I messed
this thing up, you know, and and I've impacted my
kids and all this other kind of stuff, and so
that's kind of like my go to place. But like,
if you look at all the other evidence, the way

(01:00:40):
I've rebuilt my friendship with my ex wife, the way
the I've parented, the way I've helped them, the way
I've shown up for them, you know, all these different
things that would reconciled all these relationships, speaks differently than
than than how I'm viewing myself so like my thoughts
are distorted, and so it's important for me when I
go to those places when I start doubting myself, when

(01:01:02):
this when this uh impost imposture syndrome, like Pop saying,
when I'm anxious, when I'm feeling depressed, it's important for
me to start challenging or being curious about the thoughts
that I'm having because uh And then I actually get
out a notepad and I start asking myself the questions
and then I answer the question because I need to

(01:01:24):
see the answer to help me then fight the the
cognitive distortions that I'm having. When I was in this
therapy program, every morning I would get up and I
would write down the same list every morning because I
was trying to retrain and reframe my thoughts. And so
I would say like, Hey, I'm a good dad, I'm
a good friend, I'm a good citizen in my community.

(01:01:47):
Uh you know, I'm a I'm a good ex husband,
like I show up you know, for my for my
ex wife in ways. I'm a good brother, I'm a
good all these different things. And then I would list
like all these different people that I that I think
love and show up for me. So like, like I
told our broadcast team, I'm I put down every single
one of those dude's names, Nasa Jovie, Michael Bumpus, Robert Turbin,

(01:02:12):
Jordan Babineau, Marcus Truefaunt, Paul Morier. Like I put down
all those names because I know that those people really
care for me, and sometimes you can get to a
place where you think that people don't care. Put down
all my kids, my ex wife, my sisters, my other friends.
I know all these other I would write the same
list all the time, and just because I needed to
reframe my thoughts around what I thought about myself and

(01:02:33):
what I was allowing myself to believe in. So that
that's the idea around cognitive distortion. Then the other the
other concept I talked about was reframing, and reframing is
looking at a situation and finding in another way to
internalize it, and reframing is also a therapeutic term. And

(01:02:54):
so the example I would have with reframing I think
I may have told this story was that I went
on a hike one Saturday last year, came home, like,
had a freaking fantastic walk, met some cool people on
the trail, got to talk a little bit of seahawks
on the trail, all these different things. This one dude
was teaching me about all the plants and all this

(01:03:15):
other kind of stuff. So it was a very fruitful,
productive walk. Jumped in the water, jumped in the waterfall,
all that stuff, and was excited driving home, just blasting.
Was about an hour and a half drive to get home. Man,
I was just rolling like having a great time. Soon
as I walked in the door at my place, I
was just like, man like, I did all this today,
and look, I'm back here by myself. I'm just like this,

(01:03:38):
I don't have anybody to come home to. I'm lonely.
Blah blah bah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
And then I went on my therapist session that week.
I mentioned this to my therapist and she goes, well, Rade, like,
how could you have reframed that? And I was just like,
man like, yeah, I forgot about that phrase. And so
she was like, well, how could you reframe it? And
I said, well I could have said, Man, look I

(01:03:58):
put in this great dale of work. I had a
good time. I got out of nature, I met a
lot of cool people. I had some great conversations. You know,
I took care of myself, and now I'm gonna call
home and kick my feet up, pop a beer, watch us,
you know, watch a basketball game or football game or
whatever it is, and just enjoy the rest of the day.
And that would totally reframe that whole experience. And so

(01:04:19):
then the next Saturday, I went for a hike, and
I think I went to Discovery Park over in Seattle,
and about a mile before I got back to my car,
I just started reframing. I just started going like, man like,
look at you know, look how far a hike today.
Look At some of these cool pictures I took. I
had some I met some other cool people, had some
great conversations. I explored a part of Seattle that has

(01:04:39):
been here obviously forever. I had never gone to and
it's just like right across the water from where I live.
And so I explored another part of Seattle. So I
started counting up all of these small victories about a
mile before I got to my car, so I could
reframe the whole situation. So this time I got into
my car, I did the same thing. I rolled all
the windows down, I blasted the music I sang all
the way home. When I walked through the door, I

(01:05:01):
was like, man, like, I'm glad I bought this, uh this, uh,
this case of beer. I'm gonna have this beer. I'm
gonna put my feet up, I'm gonna watch some TV.
I'm gonna take a nap, I'm gonna do whatever it is.
And it totally changed the whole experience for me. It
totally changed where my mind was. It totally changed, uh,
the wellness of my mentals because I reframed what was happening.

(01:05:24):
And so, you know, those two concepts are the foundation
of my mental health and wellness. Those are the two
spaces where I struggle the most, and those are the
two coping skills that I've learned and perfected because I

(01:05:44):
know that those are the things that I can go
to to to help me get myself out of this space.
And you know, coming up, we're gonna share more about,
you know, more details about my journey and some of
the things I've learned and and and hopefully bring on
a therapist, so two that can kind of speak more
from a professional point of view on some of those

(01:06:04):
things I'm just explaining to you my engagement with it,
in my experience with those with those concepts. I'm not
a therapist, but those are the things that kind of
helped me get to the place that I needed to
get to. I mean, I honestly struggled, you know, with
just the way I was thinking about myself. So just

(01:06:25):
want to let you guys know that we are just
getting started with this podcast. We're still trying to figure
things out, finding some great interviews to do. We're gonna
have some bigger things in stores, so keep your eyes
open for some updates, or we're gonna take a couple
weeks off, but we'll be back with some great content
and interviews. And until then, remember three things. One, if

(01:06:46):
you need help, reach out to your medical provider. Two,
it's okay to not be okay. Three, when you need help,
ask for help. And when you do, you're operating from
a position of power. So thanks for listening, peace, and
I'm out.