December 22, 2023 • 54 mins
For a special bonus episode Dramos is joined by MJ Acosta-Ruiz of the El Huddle podcast, an NFL weekly football preview show with a Spanglish twist. The two discuss embracing your otherness, being the representation for an entire community, navigating the world of media, work-life balance and more!
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
All Huddle is a production of the NFL in partnership
with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Let me talk about talk here we go.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
He said, you live in life as a ringo, where
you questioned when you fit in every time you mingle,
they say you do this with.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Not my raps.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Life as a le Yes, Yes, Hello, and welcome to
a very special episode of Life as a Gringo.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I am dramas.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Of course, I know you're thinking I was talking a
big game about being on vacation, taking some time off,
being on a hiatus, right, But here I am bringing
you a brand new episode. But your boy got a
really cool offer, a really dope kind of collaboration that
I'm excited about, and scheduling wise just didn't work out
until we were kind of in between seasons. And I
(00:58):
really want to make it happen and really get to
meet these amazing people who are part of the l
Huddle podcast, which is an NFL weekly football preview show.
It's hosted by Will Selva from A Good Morning Football
and mj Acosta Luiz from NFL Total Access and just
really exciting stuff that they're doing over there. And I
(01:18):
was so honored that I would be asked to be
a part of that. We wanted to kind of do
a really dope collab of bringing our audiences together. So
I couldn't turn that down. I'm a football fan, my
Tampa Bay Buccaneers. We are in first place right now,
we are holding our fate in our own hands. Baker
Mayfield is Bacon right now. So I am beyond excited
about NFL. I couldn't turn this down. I had to,
(01:40):
you know, kind of pop out of my cave a
little bit. Which, let's be honest, y'all. If you know me,
I've been I've been working this entire time. Basically, I
just have been doing podcasts. But anyway, okay, so what's
gonna happen is I'm gonna bring you an interview that
I did with mj ac Coosta Ruiz, who is just
an incredible human being, really really excited to have gotten
the opportunity to sit down with her. So we are
going to bring you that interview, right and then also
(02:04):
you'll be able to hear the interview that I did
because I went on their show, El Huddle, which was amazing,
and I got to do an interview with both of them,
which was incredible. And again L Huddle. You gotta go
check it out. It's a really dope podcast. It's with
a little spanglish twist talking about the NFL and man,
just amazing to see our people out there in areas
that were not quote unquote supposed to be right. So
(02:26):
really just amazing. I'm excited to bring you this special episode.
I felt really just motivated and empowered and just warm
and fuzzy inside after having this conversation with MJ. So
I hope you all feel the same, and I hope
you are enjoying an amazing holiday season. Without further ado,
let's get into my interview with MJ Acosta Luiz as
a part of our Mihente segment. My guest today is
(02:57):
one of the hosts of the l Huddle podcast and
also reporter for the NFL Network.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
MJ.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Of course, Louise, how you feeling.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
I'm feeling so so good, especially getting to be on
with you today. This is this is awesome. We need
more conversations.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
The beauty of having you on the show is a
You're from New York originally, right, so we have that
in common over here. I also love that you called
your husband of New Eurek and right I feel very
much at home because my father still calls me a
new Eurek and because he was born on the Islands.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
So yeah, so I'm feeling very much at home right
now in all of this.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
But I think, what's what's incredible at you and what
I really was excited to have you come on the
show was because this whole show is about like living
in your otherness, right, and embracing your otherness.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
And you exist in otherness in a variety of different ways.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Right.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
You are first and foremost a woman in sports, right,
which is a minority. You are a woman of color
in media, which is a minority. You are a Latina
in the.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
World of football, which is you know, more of a minority.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And then also when it comes to our culture, you
represent a part of our culture that sadly traditionally hasn't
seen much representation, that is as an Afro Latina. Right.
So when when I talk about the idea of embracing
your otherness, what comes to mind for you?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I think it's that I think it's it's not only
leaning into the otherness, but making sure that you can
stand on that proudly while you recognize that there are
others that are in that otherness, right, So like for me,
growing up, I never saw myself reflected on the screen,
so I never thought that a career in this space
(04:47):
was even available to me, you know. But for me,
the otherness feels very much like a superpower. It has
been something that I've worn like a badge of honor
where many times. And to be completely frank, I operate
in a space where straight white men are the norm
and they are the majority. So walking in there, it's
(05:10):
easy to get intimidated, right, It's easy to try and
have to shrink yourself. And certainly the industry and bosses
along the way and folks along the way have tried
to minimize me for my otherness, and I did the
exact opposite. I said, uh huh, this is what makes
me stand out. For you, guys, it's for the worst
(05:31):
on occasion, right, because of your stigmas, because of your
inherent biases, because of whatever stereotypes or tropes you have
about me and my culture or whatever you think the
perception is. But for me, I know how powerful this
makes me. So I'm gonna walk in here. If you
feel uncomfortable, that's on you, homie, because I'm here to
do my job, and I can do it well, and
(05:51):
I can do things that you could never even Right.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I love that you said superpower because I always say
authenticity is your superpower, right.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
And it is.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
But you know, the tough part about owning that superpower
is also you bear the weight of everybody else not
wanting to celebrate you in the way that you see yourself, right,
because I think you know, traditionally people are just trained
to want to see more of what they're used to, right.
I mean, it's why media has looked the same way
it's looked for as long as it has, right, and
(06:25):
you're fighting and pushing against that. But even for you,
more than anything, you're going into a culture that has
that stigma in general when it comes to people of color.
But b you're now going into a sports world that
you said is like you said, is dominated by mostly
straight white men.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
You have a lot of.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
People that are your coworkers who were maybe pro athletes
at one point, right, were involved in the game in
some sort of way, And I can imagine you have
to push back from day one against this stigma of
what the hell does this woman know.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
About our sport?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Right? So I'd love to hear maybe about how you
were able to man just push back against maybe some
of that inevitable fear or you know, yeah, I don't know.
It's just uncomfortableness that comes along with stepping into a space.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Like this, Yeah, you know it. Recently was at an
event celebrating black Latino and AAPI folks in Hollywood here
and America. Frera got up there and she said exactly
that to your words, that being the first and being
the only means that you have fought against friction on
(07:35):
a concrete basis that does not want to be shaken.
Those words are going to ring true with me for
so long because that's exactly what I've endured, not just
in my life culturally and as I was growing up
and finding who I really was and still I am,
but certainly in the world of sports and media and television.
And so for me, what I've learned is you have
(07:56):
to push back, even if your voice is quivering, even
if you're scared as hell, and even and especially when
there are real big consequence is on the other side,
because those moments are so defining, not just for a
peak moment in your career or in your life, but
against that system that doesn't want to change and desperately
(08:17):
has to change to adapt to what not only the
audience and what the people inside are asking for and
pleading for, but for for the greater good, so that
everyone can feel like they're represented. And that inclusion part
is something that I think a lot of corporations still
don't get. So if I have to take the burn
of it, and I certainly have across my career, then
(08:38):
I will. But at least I'll sleep okay at night.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yeah, yeah, no, I love that.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And what's what's fun to me is like we can
kind of write off, Oh, it's just media, it's entertainment,
it doesn't really mean anything, right, But I think what
a lot of people fail to realize is it shapes
the way that we sort of see the outside world, right,
and what is normal to us on the television screen
is and neviably going to be normal to us outside
of that as well when we step into real world,
you know. So, I mean, for anybody that tries to
(09:05):
kind of, I don't know, kind of maybe try to
take away a bit of the work that you are doing,
right and myself include I mean, what's kind of your messages,
why it's so important to fight for inclusion in the
world of entertainment as a whole one.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I think, especially for the Latino community. We are and
let's just talk about the US specifically, right, because god forbid,
we talk about what's going on outside here a whole
other podcasts. We are the fastest growing demographic in the
United States, So we cannot and should not be ignored,
not only with our spending power, but also the impact
(09:39):
that we're having culturally on this country. So I think
when even if you're just talking from a purely business standpoint,
which of course you and I you know, we don't
see it that way, but it's a demographic that cannot
be ignored and we won't keep quiet because inherently that's
just not what we do, right. You and I know
that we're here. But the importance of the representation, and
(10:02):
I think the intersectionality part of it with the black
community within the Latino community and how those two bleed together,
the AAPI community as well the LGBTQ community. There's so
much intersectionality, and so when one of us is speaking
up and showing that we can not only succeed, but
we can break these norms, all of us start to
(10:24):
come together a little bit more and all of us
are reaching for that collective inclusion.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, that's so well said.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
And I think even you know, we've talked to obviously
right now kind of as the greater good, the whole
you know itself, but kind of going a little bit
more into our culture, right because we still have work
to do within our own culture as well, no question,
And I for me even you know, because this conversation
of after Latinos, after Latinas is a far more new conversation,
(10:51):
right as far as real representation goes, and making that distinction,
and even within that, I've sort of had to check
my own privilege, right and learn right and be quiet
and learn and listen to other people within the community
who have had struggles that I can't personally relate to, right.
And I would love to hear a bit more about
you growing up, you know, as in Afro Latina, because
(11:14):
I mean, I can imagine, you know, it's got to
be difficult in sort of explaining to somebody what your
background is or who you are, right. The immediate perception
is that you are a black woman, right, And that's
true in some ways, but also there's more to it, right,
So I love to kind of hear, even just within
our own culture, kind of your own experience as an
(11:35):
Afro Latina and kind of figuring out who you were
within that.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Yeah, I mean how much time you got it to
your point? It is complex, it's very layered, and it's
a really really nuanced My family is from the Dominican Republic, right,
so I think it's a key piece of my journey,
of my struggle, and I think a big part of
that is also bringing the generational traumas, right, the colorism,
(11:59):
which is a very very real thing within the Latino community,
but certainly Anispaniola in the Dominican Republic. If you just
see how the Haitian community is treated by the Dominican community,
and not all, of course, not of course, not all,
but like an overwhelming part of the folks on the
island still see iol like pianos as a different thing
because they think they don't speak Spanish. And I say
(12:21):
they think they don't speak Spanish, they most certainly do.
So it's it's again, it goes back to that intersectionality,
the colonizing, the generational trauma of being told the more
Eurocentric you are that ties it directly to perro Malo.
I mean, I think I got a hair relaxer when
I was like nine or ten years old. Why why?
(12:43):
And again, this wasn't coming you know, my theas and
my mom and my grandma's they weren't coming from a
place of malice, right, wanted me to be as successful
as possible. And what they were taught and what their
ancestors were taught before that, was that the closer to
whiteness you are, the more accepted and the more palatable,
(13:03):
and the more successful you will be. So there was
a lot of deprogramming that I had to do along
the way. And still, you know, now I'm all almost
forty years old, and it's really taken a long time
to really sit with who I am, what my ancestry
really is. That we are black, that we are Latino,
and both of those things and so much more exists
(13:26):
all at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive of
each other. And that's something that I think still so
many of my family members and generations to come will
still have to work through. But it's a very deep
conversation and it goes back through trauma that has been
passed down to us for so many centuries. So I
hope that more folks than our community will lean deeper
(13:46):
into that, into really understanding our history and the history
of our islands and how we got here, because it's
a long, lifelong journey for all of us to fully
understand where we come from and why we feel the
way we do about certain things.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Yeah, no, one hundreders. I love how you said the
idea of like deprogramming, right, And because you know, to
your point, our family members weren't moving from a place
of like negativity or malice. They legitimately thought this was
the best way to give my kids an opportunity you
know that I didn't have, right. I mean, it's the
reason why I don't speak Spanish fluently, even though both
(14:21):
of my parents are one hundred percent flu in Spanish. Right,
it's because they chose English was going to be my
main thing to give me an easier path in life.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
And you know it's as the world changes, right, as
we begin to know more, we begin to do better
and all these things. And I think, you know, we
have the privilege of just access to the world as
a whole, right, in a far deeper and best way
than our parents did, so we can get a lot
more information and resources than the previous generations. All right,
(14:51):
I'm gonna hop in here real quick. We'll take a
pause on the conversation. We'll take a quick break, and
then we'll be right back. All right, we are back now.
I'm curious you know on this, this idea of deep
programming on your journey of like really walking in your authenticity, right,
because I think I've seen them, like your social media
(15:11):
even just talking about the idea of authenticity before. Was
there like did you have like a come to Jesus
moment where you were just kind of like I'm stepping
into like my ownness and whoever can't accept it, so
be it.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Oh, no question. I work from at the start of
my career was in local news, so I think any
of you, if you just flip through the local news channels,
it's very much it's changing a bit, but it's very
much a cut and paste. You wear this color, your
hair is like this, you talk like this, and that
is my design, right because I think a lot of
it is not detracting from the story, not making it
about you, and I agree to a point, but there's
(15:47):
also something about reflecting the audience that you serve. Right,
So we're not stepping into these spaces and certainly on
a screen in our full authenticity. How is our community
supposed to feel like they can trust us? So when
I was working in local news and I had moved
now away from the East Coast, where I had a
lot of access to other Dominican hairstylists who could work
(16:08):
with my curly hair that could, you know, make it
pin straight, because that's what I was told would make me,
not just what would make me successful, but was the
only option for me to step through those doors to
have the position that I had. This is the box.
You got to fit in it or you gotta get out.
And so I was working in San Diego in southern California,
and it got to a point where I thought my
(16:31):
hair was going to all fall out. I had no
more Dominican hairstylists. Had to do this on my own.
I was damaging my hair. I was like child, I'm
about to be bald, Like this is not this is
not gonna be cute for anybody now. So one day
I walked into work and I had my natural resource
and I was like, Lord Jesus, I didn't run this
by anybody. I didn't say anything to anybody. Let's just see.
(16:54):
I mean half the staff didn't even recognize me, right,
I'm like, guys, it's still my face.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Like yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
And I was like, but this is it, this is
what you get today. And a couple folks were like, oh, well,
this is a look like this is how it girls
out of my head. But sure, we'll go with that.
And to my pleasant surprise, the reaction from the viewers
was so positive. My daughter has curly hair, my girlfriend
has curly hair. The players that I was speaking to, yo,
(17:22):
my kids have hair like yours. What are you using?
Blah blah blah, And I was like, okay, and it
seems so trivial, right, but like, especially for women, especially
for black and brown women, your hair is a big deal.
It's a big deal. So for me leaning into that part,
I felt more like myself than I ever had, certainly
in my entire career and probably in my whole life.
(17:44):
And I think that, yeah, to be honest with you,
the validation that other folks felt it too definitely served
as an impetus for me to keep going and to
fully lean into it. And that was January of I
think twenty eighteen and I have not straight my hair since.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Wow, that's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
It's funny, like yeah, no, And it's funny like I
always kind of like say this when speaking about kind
of what holds people back or even what is just
so empowering about one person co signing what you do.
It's like sometimes that's all we need to Like I
was just then go down the right path, you know
(18:21):
what I mean, like and to tell you exactly exactly,
And it's funny like as human beings, as connected as
we are, I feel like societally we've been trained to
think all our problems are our own and they exist
in a bubble, right, We're not universal in those things.
And it's just so funny like when you just that
door creeps open for you, just how inviting and it's
(18:43):
inviting you literally, like your whole life changes and the
course kind of changes them. Speaking kind of like you know,
for myself, like what I I you know, my big
star was in like radio and like top forty radio, right,
so like I was trying to sound like the top
forty radio people and I wasn't getting great feedback on it, right,
It was like, you know, a box that had to
fit into it was exactly and then ironically, when I
(19:05):
just started kind of speaking like myself like I normally would,
that was when doors started opening, you know for me.
And that's when, you know, a my career began to
kind of start to happen.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
But be I felt more like myself than ever.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
And it's just funny how it's just that small like
Coaston that you need to like keep pushing you to
kind of explore, explore, explore until you've gone down this
path that you probably can't recognize yourself.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Anymore, no question, no question. And I think that once
you for me, it was less about the validation and
more so a responsibility like, Okay, there are other folks
who need this too. It's not just me to your point, Like,
you're not in a vacuum. None of this happens in
a vacuum. Right, But especially for those in media, we
do serve a community, right. We're not just talking here
(19:49):
for ourselves, like, yeah, the information that we're disseminating, the
conversations that we have or for the greater purpose not
to get all phostopical or whatever. Sure, but it is
important for the folks that we serve to understand where
we're coming from. And more often than that, when you
do that genuinely, it reaches the people that really need
to hear it. And for me, once that happened, I
(20:10):
was like, Okay, there's a bigger there's a bigger push
here than just you know, me embracing this huge part
of my culture and me feeling more more in tune
with who I am and really accepting myself. Other people
need this too, so that was really important for me.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
No, And but the irony is on the flip side
of it.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
It's also a burden that you carry, right because you're
not just speaking for yourself, You're speaking for an entire
group of people, right, and you become the representation for
maybe people who don't have any sort of idea about
you know, Latin culture whatsoever. You are now the one
Latin person they know. Yeah, exactly. So like everything you
(20:51):
do or say they think speaks for every single Latino, right.
And then also maybe what you don't say or what
you don't respond to also speaks v O andes, especially
in the social media era that we live in, right,
So I'd be curious how you navigate that a little
bit right, because you know you're in this sort of
you know, I mean, I'm sure it's gotten better, but
you know, traditionally speaking or generally speaking, it's a perfect
(21:14):
sort of recipe for toxic masculinity. Right a workplace where
it's just all former jocks essentially, right, and all in
one place, right, and just talking about man stuff all day, right, Yeah,
and when one of them be your co host, somebody
on the network, whatever it is, might say something that
is off putting or offensive or doesn't represent what you
(21:37):
feel right, what your values are. And it's almost like,
if you're sitting there, you have this choice to make
where you have to kind of I don't know if
you have to kind of respond or whatever. I'm sure
there's some sort of pressure. I'm curious how you navigate
that a little bit.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Sure, I will say my current where I am now,
I'm very very lucky because I think also, and I
cover specifically the NFL now, but I've covered every sport
under the sun before you get to the NFL network,
And in a league where they are seventy percent if
not more, of the players are black identify as black.
Most of the former players that I work with are
(22:13):
also black, and so we have this organic connection because
we share that in common. And even the ones who aren't,
I think being a woman in the space, so many
of them, their wives are very so they get so
I have I'm closer with a lot of my coworkers'
wives that im right, And I take that as a
(22:36):
point of pride, right like write, sis, what do you need?
What can I do for you? And vice versa. Right,
they support me, they lift me up. But it's such
a beautiful, fulfilling aspect of the job that I do
that I can have the connection with these people, with
these former players, with small of famers, really and it's
been a point of pride for me because I think
(22:56):
that they see me for who I really am. Many
of them have daughters, so they it really means a
lot when they're like, my daughters look up to you.
I hope that they can use you as an example
of resilience of strength, and I'm like, I hope that
they don't have to be this resilient and this strong.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Right my back hurts.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I don't want their back to her. I'm I'm gonna
do it. I'm gonna do it, but it's heavy. But
I have been in situations where I'm like, Okay, one
of two things is gonna happen. I mean, they're gonna
get fired or I'm gonna catch a case because if
this person talks to me like this one more time,
and they will always try you. You know, the great
part of it is it's never been an athlete. And
(23:37):
I think that's partially a big misconception. The guys are
used to being in slightly more diverse areas because a
lot of them come from that space, or a lot
of these athletes were raised by strong women, so they
have no problem with it. It's the insecure men who
could not make it right. Hear it to the league
who want to talk to me like I've never played
(23:58):
a snap of football. When's the last time you laced
them up?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Only like right?
Speaker 1 (24:03):
But you know what, let me not get let me
not got petty, let me get it.
Speaker 5 (24:07):
That is that's a great double standard that's not spoken
about enough. Is like like people will be like, well,
what does a woman know about sports? Well what does
a guy who just sits on his couch every day
every Sunday drinking beer know about like genuinely playing the game,
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
But We're okay with that. That's ever question.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Please stop talking to me about your fantasy league. I'm
the number one bottom almost in the playoffs in both
of you to say, But like many many, many men
who covered sports were considered experts who never stepped foot
on the field, but never questioned ever question. By contrast,
I was on the field a different capacity. I was
(24:44):
an NFL cheerleader and I wear that one pride. But
it's very few people who get access to the field
that closely. And I was already a sports reporter when
I did cheer for the Miami Dolphins, so I had
not only the best seat in the house, the best
Spanish point to watch the game develop in front of me,
a game that I was already covering because I already
knew the game. So I got this develop in a
(25:05):
different way. I got to hear the calls I got,
so I could tell you if that was a catcher
mm hmmm, gonna uh so it it? And I learned
the business side of it working for you.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Well, so, I think there's there's so many things that
a lot of people at the beginning of my career
were like, oh, you shouldn't tell people that you were
a cheerleader. Excuse you how hard it was to make
this team?
Speaker 2 (25:24):
First of all?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Yeah, Second, it is still to this day one of
the biggest learning points in my professional journalism and sports
career for sure.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, but I mean to to the to your point about, uh,
deciding if you're going to catch a case or not,
I think it's it's it's like again when we talk
about the unfair burden, right, that's like placed on our
on our shoulders, because it's like you have to hope
that you have a person in a position of power
that gets it and backs you up for like defending
(25:58):
yourself or understanding in that moment that if you don't
speak up, you're going to then be crucified on the
other end of it, right, And that is walking a
very fine line. And then it's on top of all that, right,
because that's something I can relate to. But on top
of that, then it's the stereotype of you're the angry
woman or the angry black woman. Right, All of those
things begin to then tack on exactly right, right, exactly,
(26:23):
so it's like you're walking in an even finer lineup. And
I mean, I'm not trying to get you like sell
anybody out or anything. But I'm you know, how do
you navigate that? Like mentally and and sort of like
I guess where do you pick and choose your battles?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Would be the way that to.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Asset the reality of it is it's a lose lose, right,
So you you got to pick which consequence you want
to deal with? Right? Do you want to deal with
being disrespected, with being minimized, with being marginalized, with being
made to feel small, with people shutting you out, with
people try to bury you, with not being able to
advance really the way that you want to, or do
(27:01):
you deal with while having to step into your boss's
office more often than not? I chose the latter. I
chose the latter because even though and I think a
lot of Latinas can relate to this, and I'll only
speak for myself here, sure, I because we're not a
monolistic I was raised very much to mind my p's
and q's right, don't talk back to people, don't ruffle feathers,
(27:26):
just keep your head down and go and you'll be okay.
But in the same breath, I would see my mom
and my pisk cut somebody out if they were doing this,
that wasn't right, you know one is it?
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:40):
And I think the point of it is is the
juice fort the squeeze, and for me, when it comes
to my integrity, when it comes to my knowledge, and
when certainly when it comes to my job, because this
is my livelihood. This is how I put food on
the table, this is how I'm making things better for
generations to come in my family. I'm not going to
stay quiet, and I'm not going to sit here and
be like, mmmm, Okay, well, I don't know, maybe I
(28:02):
misunderstood that. No, he said what he said, she said
what she said, and I know exactly what they meant
when they said it. So for me, I can't sit
I'm an EmPATH, so I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I'm not going to sit here with this not in
my stomach or this lump in my throat because it
also affects my job at the end of the day regardless.
So I can't perform because I'm feeling and I'm bearing
(28:23):
and I'm holding all of these things. It's not good regardless.
So I rather get it out, say what I have
to say. Sometimes in a corporate clap back, right. I
maintain my position on these thoughts is I said what
I said, So sometimes you have to find a way
to say it right. It's not what you say about
how you say it. But I am of the mindset
(28:44):
you always speak up for yourself and you always say
what's right. You know. Sometimes again, even if you're scared to,
that's the time when you need to do it the most.
And it's not an easy thing to do at all.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
No, absolutely, But I think on the other side of it, it's,
you know, we're blessed to be doing jobs that we've
dreamed about doing.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
I'm sure you know, for since we were kids.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
But it's a part of the dream is not muting
myself right, Like the part of like I'm not actually
living my dream if i feel like I'm not getting
to be authentic, if I'm constantly censoring myself, if I'm
living in fear of losing everything based upon me being
myself right, And I think that is sort of I
think the mentality a lot of people have to adapt,
(29:27):
you know what I mean that, I think it's important
to stand for something right more than being able to
get a checker, more than being able to say that
you have this job at the end of the day,
to feel comfortable in this situation and feel like you're
not being sort of stepped on, You're not being put
in a corner somewhere. I think that is something that
money can't buy at the end of the day, right,
That's a real spiritual connection to yourself.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
That that I think is essential.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
For all of us to truly be fulfilled, you know,
like legitimately be fulfilled as human beings.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
I mean, you hear a lot in the Latino community.
I partially grew up in Miami. After New York, we
moved down to Miami, and you know, my Cuban counterparts,
they'll always say to do X, Y and Z, to
do the same thing my parents and then leave to
Midicanary Republic for me to be meet for me to
(30:16):
not take full advantage of the sacrifices they made. My
dad was a doctor in the Dominican Republic. He was
a medical examiner, he was an OBG. He'd done sort
of everything. Same with my mom. She left her career
there to come to the United States and literally sweep
floors and be janitors and clean offices and work in
(30:38):
a shoe factory. For me to have the opportunity to
pursue these things, so I would be doing them and
their sacrifices a disservice. And yes, i am the oldest
daughter of immigrants, so I'm not okay, but I'm trying.
I'm trying because we also carry that right. All my
oldest daughters know what the hell I'm talking about right now.
(30:59):
You have to help raise your siblings. I'm the oldest
of four. You have to make dinner for people while
pursuing your dream, while seeing your parents struggle. But try
to carry it all with grace and with pride. And
it's very That's really the main reason that I work
so hard. Why I pushed so hard, because I'm not
gonna let them down. Not because they put this on me.
(31:20):
They didn't put this on my shoulders. But I'll be damned,
I'll be damned if I let all of that be
for nothing. All Right, I'm hopping here real quick.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
One more time.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
We'll take a quick break and then we'll be right back.
All right, we are back. And another part of this
whole conversation I want to touch on it. It's like
MJ the person, right, because the other nuance to this
is you have a job that is very demanding of
you mentally, time wise, has you traveling constantly doing things
(31:52):
like that, and that is out of the norm of
the traditional American household, right the mindset of it's usually
the husband, the father, the dad that's the one traveling
for business all the time, doing these different things, right,
And I'm curious how you find that balance of having
the family life, you know, which is obviously incredibly important
(32:14):
and goals, but also striving to achieve at such a
high level in the amount of demand that comes from you,
you know, really putting your all into this career.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
It's a loaded question for sure. Shout out to my husband,
who is the most supportive partner I could have ever
asked for. I mean, at every single turn. And this
is a Puerto ricommand okay life works in a male
dominated industry, and he's never once flinched at me having
(32:46):
to do an assignment, has never ever questioned how my
trips went. He knows one who I am and how
I rock and how I am how I navigate things,
but two always leads from a place of what can
I do for you? How can I make this easier
on you? What can so we've found that balance with
in our relationship. We've been together eleven years. We found
(33:07):
that balance of our family life and what our reality
looks like. I don't do a normal job, neither does he,
and so we knew that our normal was never going
to be what traditionally we were taught the norm was
going to be. So that's one aspect of it, But
the other one was reimagining what that family life looks like.
(33:28):
You know, I'm thirty nine years old, so for many
many years, it was when are the kids coming? You know?
And I think a lot of folks, if you're an older,
an elder millennial, is like a lot of us are
either waiting longer to have children have decided that we
don't wook them right like, and that's okay too, whatever
(33:51):
the reality of your life. And I think that's the
other point of it. We are allowed to reimagine what
our happiness, what our lives look like, and it doesn't
have to be on that traditional spectrum or timeline that
we've seen growing up. Because of those sacrifices that our
parents made and our family members before us made, we
(34:13):
have this beautiful gift of being able to navigate this
world in a different way that works best for us now.
Is it perfect? Of course not. That's life, life to
be life. But I'm really working on giving myself grace,
not on not pressuring myself to have this done by
this state or to have this quote unquote accomplishment by
(34:35):
this state, and just be where my feet are and
present on what's happening around me and within me at
the right time, and checking in right with my partner,
checking in with my family, but also caring only as
much as I can hold and cheat your point, everything
is pulling from me at all times. My job is
(34:55):
literally to be on all the time, and sometimes I
get home and I'm like a shell, like on the
dream I'm dreamed. But I also have to pour to
my husband. I have to pour into my marriage. I
have poorn to our puppy, you know. So it's like
at any point, you know, I do a lot of mentorship.
Mentorship is really important, and There'll be times where I'm
just like, oh my god, I don't have one more
(35:16):
thing left than me, and a young woman will text
me and I'm like, what do you need this? Yeah,
instinctually without even thinking about it. But that also pulls right,
So I think it's important to find the moment where
you can reset, and sometimes shit, that's not possible. Yeah,
it is what it is, so we have to pull through.
I actually want to give a shout out to all
the women in this industry who have children, who they
(35:38):
have I'm like this, how are you?
Speaker 2 (35:39):
How right? All right?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Wow? And they do it. You figure it out every
single day. So even if it doesn't look normal quote
unquote normal, I wish we could eradicate that word, because
I don't think it exists anymore. In the ear of
the Barbie movie, Like.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
I love the party, but I love how Yeah, you're
defining your own normal, right, and that's okay. It doesn't
have to be one that makes sense to anybody outside
of legitimately you and your partner essentially, right, and your
immediate family. But I'm curious also, you know, as somebody
who's obviously a high achiever, right, And this is something
(36:18):
that I struggle with a lot as well.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
I Mean, it's easy to just keep.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Constantly making new goals, right, and keep trying to top
the last thing, and even just looking back on some
of your career accolades, it's obvious you're looking for the
next step.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
The next step, the next step.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Do you have a line where you're just kind of like,
I think enough would be enough here, because as like
the age old's saying, like a yes to one thing
is a note to something else, right, you can't have
it both ways. So being pulled in all these directions,
having a more even more demanding job, a more demanding schedule,
means less time for the other things in your life.
I'm curious for you how you sort of navigate, maybe
(36:54):
even knowing, like when you can say I'm kind of
good and I kind of want to deviate I don't know,
maybe the career ambitions a little bit and pour more
into this.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Other part of me.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yeah, I mean not us having whull therapy session. I
love it. I love it because that is a very
real question. And I think now with social media, it's
even harder to find that, to find that boundary, Yeah,
to find that that part of you that doesn't want
(37:26):
not only the external validation, but that's in the rat race,
right like ship. Well, okay, if these folks that are
in that are my peers, are cheating this, or are
gaining or on this list, or are getting this award,
it's I'm gonna be real with you. Like the folks
who say, like I don't look at that I do.
I'm like, damn, are I be getting this award? I
wasn't on the eye on that list. It's just a
(37:47):
natural reaction. We are. We are in a space that
is competitive, and I mean that to be in a
healthy way. Because most of my closest friends, our little
group chat that keeps me sustained on the daily basis
is all women of color, black and brown women who
work on TV and media, and we have been rocking
(38:08):
together for over a decade and they are my biggest supporters,
my biggest cheerleaders, and vice versa. And both things can
exist at once. You can be like, yeah, Santh, I'm
so proud of you and be like, right, should I
have put in for that enough? Both things can be
true at the same time.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
Right, Well, that's the other thing, not to cut off,
but like what you were talking about, Also, what makes
it hard is we're all also our own personal brand, right,
So like it's hard to not take ship personally in
it to a degree, right, Like like, and I understand
what right, right, but it's not like I work for
this and that company goes under and like, Okay, it
wasn't my fault. It's like, if I get let go
(38:46):
or I don't get that opportunity, how could I not
feel like I could have done something else to get
the results I wanted?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Exactly that exactly that it's really hard not to put
the onus always on yourself because you are the job,
you are the business. I'm a business man, like Daisy
said it perfectly, you know what I mean, And we
really really are. And now, and let me tell you something.
This social media marketing stuff is not going away. I
think it will transition and will evolve, but more and
(39:13):
more more of us, of who we are, is required
almost in the industry, you know. So it's really really hard.
But back to your original question of like finding that space,
I still haven't found it, to be honest with you,
to say no to something like I've been in this
business for fifteen years. I work at the network level.
(39:33):
There's a handful of us. I can count us on
one hand, black and brown women who are hosting on
a network. In sports, it's very few and far between.
And yet yeah, I'm still thinking the mentality is what's next.
I have not done enough. I have not made it.
I don't think I'll ever lose that aspect of it.
(39:54):
But I think what I'm trying to practice is the
grace and the gratitude, not for knowing my place. Oh
my god, I'm so happy just to be here. I'm
not just happy to be here, I'm here to work, yeah,
but also reminding myself like, OK, yeah, like this wasn't
an accident, this wasn't my mistake, and no one handed
this to me, certainly, So it's reminding myself of all
(40:16):
the work that I've put in and how much I
actually have accomplished, Like my ancestors could have never pictured this,
or maybe I certainly did it. I got into this
career much later on in my late twenties, which in
journalism as you know.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
What, child, Oh yeah, yep, you and I in the
same boat there. Actually literally I figured that if you, if.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
You find the answer, please send it my way.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
I don't have the answer.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
I just know I've been I've been blessed enough to
meet people I've looked up to. I've been blessed enough
to meet very successful people, and I know that not
all of them are actually happy, even though they have
all of the outward facing success that I dreamt about, right,
And that's been the greatest blessing is being able to
see kind of behind the curtain to know I have
to keep this in the back of my mind that
(41:01):
I can't be go go go all the time. Now
where that line is, I haven't figured that part out
yet exactly, you know.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
So I'm still on that journey with you.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
We'll got there.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Yeah, one day, one day, we'll actually get there.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
And it's okay not to have the answers, right.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yes, it's okay. Yeah. I mean.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
So the last thing I want to just touch on
is that background you talk about a little bit, right,
because I think there are, like you said, in our industry,
the idea of starting in your late twenties, it's like, oh,
you're ancient, you're out of it, You're you're almost out
of our data, right.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
Yeah, basically it feels that way.
Speaker 5 (41:32):
It feels that way, you're out of our target demographic.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Right, And you know, for you then making that that pivot,
I'm just curious about some of the mindset, the decision making,
the conversations that were happening from family when you're telling
them that you want to go down this route because
what a lot of people don't know is also when
you are on local TV, it is not this glamorous,
high paying job that a lot of people think because
you have cameras on you.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
It is a grind.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
So I would love to just hear a little bit
of the mindset of that phase of your life making
that pivot in the initial stage in media.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Yeah, I think to your point. Like my parents, definitely,
their only concern was that, well, when I got an
education and two that I get a safe and secure job.
So they wanted to meet to go down business or
finance math and I not friends. I'm clearly right, all right,
more on that side of the brain. But they really
just wanted me to have stability and security, which is fair.
(42:29):
They strive for that and made tremendous inroads in making
sure that my siblings and I had that. For however
that looked so all they wanted was to be a
little bit easier for me, and all I wanted to
do was be a performer. And they're like, so, I've
been a dancer my entire life. I remember I got
(42:50):
my first job was that babies or us. I must
have been like fifteen, I guess was the earliest you
could actually get like a w job. And the only
reason I got that job was so that I could
pay for a dance duty, so that I could go
to this dance duty to my parents can afford bad
They're like, are you crazy? How much is this a month?
Absolutely not, Please go do your homework. And so I remember, okay, fine,
(43:11):
if you can't do it, I'm certainly not gonna like bet.
I was not a tantrum kid, please please be for real.
I was like, okay, how can I figure this out?
So I was like, all right, I'll get a job
and I'll do it myself. Dance. Ultimately, following that passion
led me to this career and this other passion of
my life. I remember I dropped out of college, which
(43:33):
my parents didn't know at the time. I can say
that now for a while, But I dropped out of
college because all I was doing was accumulating student loan debt.
Liked God, So I said, let me just let me
just step away and follow and step into what I
really want to do because I can't. This is not
a failure if I'm actually pursuing something that fuels me
(43:56):
and I can still pay my bills. I will. So
I went on tour. I was on Daddy Yankees' tour
for a while. I was in Miami at the time,
so I was dancing a lot of Latin music venue
and with artists, and it was an incredible part. I
got to see the world, I got to travel outside
the US, and I really learned how to manage myself
as an adult in my early twenties. Eventually I got
cast on a TV show. I don't know if you
(44:17):
remember this or how many of the of the listeners
will remember this, but it was on a sister network
to Telemundo. It was called Mundos. The show was called
The Roof and it was a music show. So we
had a DJA he was spinning, Artists would come in,
people would call in, and I was one of the
dancers on the show. But walking onto that set, I
fell in love with just the crew, how you created
(44:37):
the show. I would look at the hosts and I'm like, wait,
I could do that. I've always been actually career. I
would host like all the Kingsianas and my family and
stuff like that. I didn't know to your point that
that was something I could turn into a career, right,
even the preparations for putting together like the King's run
of show. I didn't know it was a run of show,
but that's what it was, right. So it was this beautiful,
like Kismet situation where all of these things just clicked.
(45:01):
I was probably twenty five at the time. The next semester,
I enrolled in school as a broadcast major, and the rest,
as they say, is history. I was so laser focused
because I felt like, yes, this is it, and I
know that there's a way for me to do it,
and I know that I can be successful at this.
So I never looked back. But I started out in
local news. I did a lot of one man band.
(45:24):
For those who don't know, is your your own camera person,
your own editor. You're cutting packages, which is like the
big stories that you see put together on the news.
You have to edit on the fly. You're on deadline.
I worked the morning shift, so I was up at
two in the morning on air by four thirty. I
covered traffic, I covered the weather, I did anchoring. I
did hard news. I mean I did it all because
(45:44):
I wanted to figure out which way could I do it?
Because I was bilingual. I got to start in Miami
one of the biggest markets in the country, and it
was tough. I made a lot of mistakes, went through
a whole bunch there as well, but I knew that
that was the path. I didn't care that I had
to be up at two am every day around all
(46:05):
this equipment going on, the live news truck, knocking on
people's door on the worst day of their lives. All
of it made be better for the wear, and because
I knew that, I loved it. And it took me
a little longer to get there, but man, was it
worth it? Really?
Speaker 3 (46:22):
No, I absolutely love that, and I love like you
don't have to have it all figured out, right. I
feel like people get so caught up in like the
fucking planning phase of it all, and like they have
to know where they're going and have the answer to everything.
And it's like you're going to be far more like
better off just starting tripping, making the mistakes, getting embarrassed,
and you're gonna eventually figure it out at some point,
(46:43):
but you have to start.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
And I did.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
I took a lot of l's, okay, let's be a
lot of mistakes. I did a lot of elsa back
back part of starting in a major market was your
You're next to all of these seasoned reporters and season anchors,
and I'm like, oh shit, like I got it okay,
And it wasn't fake it till I made it. Like
I could not fake it because I didn't know what
I didn't know right, So I made mistakes and I
(47:08):
embarrassed myself. But I got back up every time. And
it's very hard when you make a mistake on television
to own it and then come back the next day
and still do your job. Yeah, not worry that, Oh
my god. And like my bosses gave me grace, and
thankfully I had on the sports side, tremendous mentors who said,
you can do this, you are talented. Just keep going,
(47:30):
like we're all going to fuck up once in a while.
We're gonna say the wrong stat we're gonna mispronounce a name,
we're gonna freeze. You know, we're human. But it was
that belief, belief in myself and others who believed in
me too, that I was like, all right, let's just
and thankfully, you know, this was like twenty ten is
so like social media wasn't what it was, I sure
(47:53):
would have gone.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Viral meme somewhere.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
Yeah, oh my god, for sure, for sure it's been.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
That's a place. As you get in to meet you,
I'm inspired.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
I definitely feel seen, and definitely you're doing some really
important work.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
So I want to commend you and give your flowers
and let you know that.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
Obviously you already know you're doing important work, but we
see it and it's it's inspiring.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
So thank you so much for all that you do.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
That means so so much. And like, look, we're stronger together,
all right, So just a big if nothing else, whatever industry,
whatever space you operated, lift as you clime, lift as
you climb, and make sure that those people you're still
keeping a type teather on that group, don't lift somebody
up and then let go the slack we need, we
need the peer to peer mentorship. We need to not
(48:43):
just leave it better than it was, but also help
folks navigate through it as well. I think that's a
really important piece of the puzzle.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
Absolutely, And where can people follow you? And then we
got a huddle the podcast, people can check that out.
What else should people be looking out for.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
I've got a lot of thankfully, a lot of projects
coming on the way. Some things in the works, but
you can follow it all along. I'm mj Acosta TV
on all of my all of my channels, m j
Acosta Ruiz TV. Was too long, so.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
Gotcha.
Speaker 3 (49:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Well, I appreciate you. Thank you so much for it,
for hopping on the show.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
Thank you so much for having me. This is awesome,
great therapy session. Appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
Yes, exactly, man, big shot to my guest this week,
mj Acosta Luiz from the l Huddle podcast, just absolutely amazing.
She's also host of NFL Total Access of course as well.
I'm just fucking inspired. Well, we'll get into that. I'll
do a quick conclusion stop even though I'm in vacation mode.
So with that said, let's just get right into conclusion.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
Stew time come man.
Speaker 3 (49:54):
So I love these types of conversations because I think
it really excites me to see people doing the work
right and people who understand and the position that they're in.
It's bigger than just themselves, right, And I know it
doesn't have to be, but it should be right because
we all want to want to leave this world a
(50:14):
bit better than the way we found it, right, or
I hope that that's kind of all of our goals, right.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
And in entertainment and in media oftentimes it's an.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
Incredibly selfish sort of sector of our culture, right. It
is very much people being about themselves, trying to get
their own you know, way ahead. And I'm really inspired
when I get to hear other people who like me
understand the sort of weight that comes with having any
sort of success in this field, especially when we are
the minority, right, and recognizes and not only recognizes it,
(50:45):
but steps up to the plate in order to be
a person who is being a great representative, who is
putting on for our community, right, who is also sort
of being unafraid to check people and to make sure
that things are happening, you know, favorably for us, right,
to really make sure that we're being portrayed in a
positive light, and again understanding that they are more than
(51:08):
just a person in media, but they are somebody representing
an entire culture of people and potentially inspiring you know,
more and more people from our community to go out
there and live in their greatness right and really help
us progress as a as a culture, as a community,
as a people. And I just love when I get
to sit down with people like MJ who understand that
and embrace it and are are really doing their best
(51:31):
to do their part right to be a positive force
for the community and be an inspiration for all of us,
which she is for sure, So big shout out to
to MJ for hopping on the show again. This is
a special kind of two part thing. You're gonna get
then now my interview that I did when I went
on their show a huddle, and definitely go check out
that podcast is really really cool, especially if youre a
(51:52):
sports fan, obviously NFL fan. It's great to kind of
be taking up space in places that are kind of unexpected.
Right to have us banglish show that talks about football,
and then beyond that talks about the Latin community, you know,
in combination with that, I think is absolutely amazing.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
So again, this is the kind of first part of it.
Speaker 3 (52:11):
We'll drop this here and then on the feed you'll
also be able to hear my interview with them. We'll
all keep it on the same life as a get
and go feed. But definitely go check out their show,
go subscribe to it, go binge it while we are
off here while I'm in the off season on my
own podcast, And thank y'all so much for tuning into this. Man,
I hope you aren't missing me too much. I miss
all of y'all. It feels nice to kind of be
(52:32):
back in podcasting mode, even though I'm kind of like on.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
The road doing it.
Speaker 3 (52:36):
But I'm grateful to have the opportunity to come back
in February.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
I hope y'all haven't forgotten about me.
Speaker 1 (52:43):
Also, just a.
Speaker 3 (52:43):
Quick little aside while I have you here, I recorded
my first ever talk special.
Speaker 2 (52:47):
We did it virtually.
Speaker 3 (52:48):
Shout out to everyth that came and participated in that
via zoom. I'm then going to release it on my
YouTube channel in full for anybody that wasn't able to
be there, so you'll be able to check that out
as well. So really cool thing I'm trying to do.
I'm trying to like bring the entertainment value into like
the sort of speaking engagement stuff that I've been doing,
and just a new way I feel like to communicate
(53:09):
to our community in like a really real and raw
way that doesn't feel so bland and boring and preachy
that we could still have fun but talk about real
shit and you know, leave inspired at the same time
as well as hopefully entertained. So that's the goal low
preview of what I'm working out for twenty twenty four.
With that said, have an amazing holiday. I miss y'all
so damn much. I will see you in February, like
(53:30):
for real, for real. But I hope you enjoyed this
special episode that I recorded for y'all, as well as
the upcoming interview from l Huddle podcast and go check
those guys out there are absolutely.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
Amazing, So appreciate y'all.
Speaker 3 (53:41):
Once again, Have an amazing holiday, amazing new Year, and
I will catch y'all in February. This Life as a
Good and Goo is a production of the micro Thura
podcast network and iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
In Huddle is a production of the NFL in partnership
with iHeartRadio. For more podcasts iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
All Huddle is a production of the NFL in partnership
with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Let me talk about talk here we go.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
He said, you live in life as a ringo, where
you questioned when you fit in every time you mingle,
they say you do this with.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Not my raps.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Life as a le Yes, Yes, Hello, and welcome to
a very special episode of Life as a Gringo.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I am dramas.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Of course, I know you're thinking I was talking a
big game about being on vacation, taking some time off,
being on a hiatus, right, But here I am bringing
you a brand new episode. But your boy got a
really cool offer, a really dope kind of collaboration that
I'm excited about, and scheduling wise just didn't work out
until we were kind of in between seasons. And I
(00:58):
really want to make it happen and really get to
meet these amazing people who are part of the l
Huddle podcast, which is an NFL weekly football preview show.
It's hosted by Will Selva from A Good Morning Football
and mj Acosta Luiz from NFL Total Access and just
really exciting stuff that they're doing over there. And I
(01:18):
was so honored that I would be asked to be
a part of that. We wanted to kind of do
a really dope collab of bringing our audiences together. So
I couldn't turn that down. I'm a football fan, my
Tampa Bay Buccaneers. We are in first place right now,
we are holding our fate in our own hands. Baker
Mayfield is Bacon right now. So I am beyond excited
about NFL. I couldn't turn this down. I had to,
(01:40):
you know, kind of pop out of my cave a
little bit. Which, let's be honest, y'all. If you know me,
I've been I've been working this entire time. Basically, I
just have been doing podcasts. But anyway, okay, so what's
gonna happen is I'm gonna bring you an interview that
I did with mj ac Coosta Ruiz, who is just
an incredible human being, really really excited to have gotten
the opportunity to sit down with her. So we are
going to bring you that interview, right and then also
(02:04):
you'll be able to hear the interview that I did
because I went on their show, El Huddle, which was amazing,
and I got to do an interview with both of them,
which was incredible. And again L Huddle. You gotta go
check it out. It's a really dope podcast. It's with
a little spanglish twist talking about the NFL and man,
just amazing to see our people out there in areas
that were not quote unquote supposed to be right. So
(02:26):
really just amazing. I'm excited to bring you this special episode.
I felt really just motivated and empowered and just warm
and fuzzy inside after having this conversation with MJ. So
I hope you all feel the same, and I hope
you are enjoying an amazing holiday season. Without further ado,
let's get into my interview with MJ Acosta Luiz as
a part of our Mihente segment. My guest today is
(02:57):
one of the hosts of the l Huddle podcast and
also reporter for the NFL Network.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
MJ.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Of course, Louise, how you feeling.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
I'm feeling so so good, especially getting to be on
with you today. This is this is awesome. We need
more conversations.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
The beauty of having you on the show is a
You're from New York originally, right, so we have that
in common over here. I also love that you called
your husband of New Eurek and right I feel very
much at home because my father still calls me a
new Eurek and because he was born on the Islands.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
So yeah, so I'm feeling very much at home right
now in all of this.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
But I think, what's what's incredible at you and what
I really was excited to have you come on the
show was because this whole show is about like living
in your otherness, right, and embracing your otherness.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
And you exist in otherness in a variety of different ways.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Right.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
You are first and foremost a woman in sports, right,
which is a minority. You are a woman of color
in media, which is a minority. You are a Latina
in the.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
World of football, which is you know, more of a minority.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And then also when it comes to our culture, you
represent a part of our culture that sadly traditionally hasn't
seen much representation, that is as an Afro Latina. Right.
So when when I talk about the idea of embracing
your otherness, what comes to mind for you?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I think it's that I think it's it's not only
leaning into the otherness, but making sure that you can
stand on that proudly while you recognize that there are
others that are in that otherness, right, So like for me,
growing up, I never saw myself reflected on the screen,
so I never thought that a career in this space
(04:47):
was even available to me, you know. But for me,
the otherness feels very much like a superpower. It has
been something that I've worn like a badge of honor
where many times. And to be completely frank, I operate
in a space where straight white men are the norm
and they are the majority. So walking in there, it's
(05:10):
easy to get intimidated, right, It's easy to try and
have to shrink yourself. And certainly the industry and bosses
along the way and folks along the way have tried
to minimize me for my otherness, and I did the
exact opposite. I said, uh huh, this is what makes
me stand out. For you, guys, it's for the worst
(05:31):
on occasion, right, because of your stigmas, because of your
inherent biases, because of whatever stereotypes or tropes you have
about me and my culture or whatever you think the
perception is. But for me, I know how powerful this
makes me. So I'm gonna walk in here. If you
feel uncomfortable, that's on you, homie, because I'm here to
do my job, and I can do it well, and
(05:51):
I can do things that you could never even Right.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I love that you said superpower because I always say
authenticity is your superpower, right.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
And it is.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
But you know, the tough part about owning that superpower
is also you bear the weight of everybody else not
wanting to celebrate you in the way that you see yourself, right,
because I think you know, traditionally people are just trained
to want to see more of what they're used to, right.
I mean, it's why media has looked the same way
it's looked for as long as it has, right, and
(06:25):
you're fighting and pushing against that. But even for you,
more than anything, you're going into a culture that has
that stigma in general when it comes to people of color.
But b you're now going into a sports world that
you said is like you said, is dominated by mostly
straight white men.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
You have a lot of.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
People that are your coworkers who were maybe pro athletes
at one point, right, were involved in the game in
some sort of way, And I can imagine you have
to push back from day one against this stigma of
what the hell does this woman know.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
About our sport?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Right? So I'd love to hear maybe about how you
were able to man just push back against maybe some
of that inevitable fear or you know, yeah, I don't know.
It's just uncomfortableness that comes along with stepping into a space.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Like this, Yeah, you know it. Recently was at an
event celebrating black Latino and AAPI folks in Hollywood here
and America. Frera got up there and she said exactly
that to your words, that being the first and being
the only means that you have fought against friction on
(07:35):
a concrete basis that does not want to be shaken.
Those words are going to ring true with me for
so long because that's exactly what I've endured, not just
in my life culturally and as I was growing up
and finding who I really was and still I am,
but certainly in the world of sports and media and television.
And so for me, what I've learned is you have
(07:56):
to push back, even if your voice is quivering, even
if you're scared as hell, and even and especially when
there are real big consequence is on the other side,
because those moments are so defining, not just for a
peak moment in your career or in your life, but
against that system that doesn't want to change and desperately
(08:17):
has to change to adapt to what not only the
audience and what the people inside are asking for and
pleading for, but for for the greater good, so that
everyone can feel like they're represented. And that inclusion part
is something that I think a lot of corporations still
don't get. So if I have to take the burn
of it, and I certainly have across my career, then
(08:38):
I will. But at least I'll sleep okay at night.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yeah, yeah, no, I love that.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And what's what's fun to me is like we can
kind of write off, Oh, it's just media, it's entertainment,
it doesn't really mean anything, right, But I think what
a lot of people fail to realize is it shapes
the way that we sort of see the outside world, right,
and what is normal to us on the television screen
is and neviably going to be normal to us outside
of that as well when we step into real world,
you know. So, I mean, for anybody that tries to
(09:05):
kind of, I don't know, kind of maybe try to
take away a bit of the work that you are doing,
right and myself include I mean, what's kind of your messages,
why it's so important to fight for inclusion in the
world of entertainment as a whole one.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I think, especially for the Latino community. We are and
let's just talk about the US specifically, right, because god forbid,
we talk about what's going on outside here a whole
other podcasts. We are the fastest growing demographic in the
United States, So we cannot and should not be ignored,
not only with our spending power, but also the impact
(09:39):
that we're having culturally on this country. So I think
when even if you're just talking from a purely business standpoint,
which of course you and I you know, we don't
see it that way, but it's a demographic that cannot
be ignored and we won't keep quiet because inherently that's
just not what we do, right. You and I know
that we're here. But the importance of the representation, and
(10:02):
I think the intersectionality part of it with the black
community within the Latino community and how those two bleed together,
the AAPI community as well the LGBTQ community. There's so
much intersectionality, and so when one of us is speaking
up and showing that we can not only succeed, but
we can break these norms, all of us start to
(10:24):
come together a little bit more and all of us
are reaching for that collective inclusion.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, that's so well said.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
And I think even you know, we've talked to obviously
right now kind of as the greater good, the whole
you know itself, but kind of going a little bit
more into our culture, right because we still have work
to do within our own culture as well, no question,
And I for me even you know, because this conversation
of after Latinos, after Latinas is a far more new conversation,
(10:51):
right as far as real representation goes, and making that distinction,
and even within that, I've sort of had to check
my own privilege, right and learn right and be quiet
and learn and listen to other people within the community
who have had struggles that I can't personally relate to, right.
And I would love to hear a bit more about
you growing up, you know, as in Afro Latina, because
(11:14):
I mean, I can imagine, you know, it's got to
be difficult in sort of explaining to somebody what your
background is or who you are, right. The immediate perception
is that you are a black woman, right, And that's
true in some ways, but also there's more to it, right,
So I love to kind of hear, even just within
our own culture, kind of your own experience as an
(11:35):
Afro Latina and kind of figuring out who you were
within that.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Yeah, I mean how much time you got it to
your point? It is complex, it's very layered, and it's
a really really nuanced My family is from the Dominican Republic, right,
so I think it's a key piece of my journey,
of my struggle, and I think a big part of
that is also bringing the generational traumas, right, the colorism,
(11:59):
which is a very very real thing within the Latino community,
but certainly Anispaniola in the Dominican Republic. If you just
see how the Haitian community is treated by the Dominican community,
and not all, of course, not of course, not all,
but like an overwhelming part of the folks on the
island still see iol like pianos as a different thing
because they think they don't speak Spanish. And I say
(12:21):
they think they don't speak Spanish, they most certainly do.
So it's it's again, it goes back to that intersectionality,
the colonizing, the generational trauma of being told the more
Eurocentric you are that ties it directly to perro Malo.
I mean, I think I got a hair relaxer when
I was like nine or ten years old. Why why?
(12:43):
And again, this wasn't coming you know, my theas and
my mom and my grandma's they weren't coming from a
place of malice, right, wanted me to be as successful
as possible. And what they were taught and what their
ancestors were taught before that, was that the closer to
whiteness you are, the more accepted and the more palatable,
(13:03):
and the more successful you will be. So there was
a lot of deprogramming that I had to do along
the way. And still, you know, now I'm all almost
forty years old, and it's really taken a long time
to really sit with who I am, what my ancestry
really is. That we are black, that we are Latino,
and both of those things and so much more exists
(13:26):
all at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive of
each other. And that's something that I think still so
many of my family members and generations to come will
still have to work through. But it's a very deep
conversation and it goes back through trauma that has been
passed down to us for so many centuries. So I
hope that more folks than our community will lean deeper
(13:46):
into that, into really understanding our history and the history
of our islands and how we got here, because it's
a long, lifelong journey for all of us to fully
understand where we come from and why we feel the
way we do about certain things.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Yeah, no, one hundreders. I love how you said the
idea of like deprogramming, right, And because you know, to
your point, our family members weren't moving from a place
of like negativity or malice. They legitimately thought this was
the best way to give my kids an opportunity you
know that I didn't have, right. I mean, it's the
reason why I don't speak Spanish fluently, even though both
(14:21):
of my parents are one hundred percent flu in Spanish. Right,
it's because they chose English was going to be my
main thing to give me an easier path in life.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
And you know it's as the world changes, right, as
we begin to know more, we begin to do better
and all these things. And I think, you know, we
have the privilege of just access to the world as
a whole, right, in a far deeper and best way
than our parents did, so we can get a lot
more information and resources than the previous generations. All right,
(14:51):
I'm gonna hop in here real quick. We'll take a
pause on the conversation. We'll take a quick break, and
then we'll be right back. All right, we are back now.
I'm curious you know on this, this idea of deep
programming on your journey of like really walking in your authenticity, right,
because I think I've seen them, like your social media
(15:11):
even just talking about the idea of authenticity before. Was
there like did you have like a come to Jesus
moment where you were just kind of like I'm stepping
into like my ownness and whoever can't accept it, so
be it.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Oh, no question. I work from at the start of
my career was in local news, so I think any
of you, if you just flip through the local news channels,
it's very much it's changing a bit, but it's very
much a cut and paste. You wear this color, your
hair is like this, you talk like this, and that
is my design, right because I think a lot of
it is not detracting from the story, not making it
about you, and I agree to a point, but there's
(15:47):
also something about reflecting the audience that you serve. Right,
So we're not stepping into these spaces and certainly on
a screen in our full authenticity. How is our community
supposed to feel like they can trust us? So when
I was working in local news and I had moved
now away from the East Coast, where I had a
lot of access to other Dominican hairstylists who could work
(16:08):
with my curly hair that could, you know, make it
pin straight, because that's what I was told would make me,
not just what would make me successful, but was the
only option for me to step through those doors to
have the position that I had. This is the box.
You got to fit in it or you gotta get out.
And so I was working in San Diego in southern California,
and it got to a point where I thought my
(16:31):
hair was going to all fall out. I had no
more Dominican hairstylists. Had to do this on my own.
I was damaging my hair. I was like child, I'm
about to be bald, Like this is not this is
not gonna be cute for anybody now. So one day
I walked into work and I had my natural resource
and I was like, Lord Jesus, I didn't run this
by anybody. I didn't say anything to anybody. Let's just see.
(16:54):
I mean half the staff didn't even recognize me, right,
I'm like, guys, it's still my face.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Like yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
And I was like, but this is it, this is
what you get today. And a couple folks were like, oh, well,
this is a look like this is how it girls
out of my head. But sure, we'll go with that.
And to my pleasant surprise, the reaction from the viewers
was so positive. My daughter has curly hair, my girlfriend
has curly hair. The players that I was speaking to, yo,
(17:22):
my kids have hair like yours. What are you using?
Blah blah blah, And I was like, okay, and it
seems so trivial, right, but like, especially for women, especially
for black and brown women, your hair is a big deal.
It's a big deal. So for me leaning into that part,
I felt more like myself than I ever had, certainly
in my entire career and probably in my whole life.
(17:44):
And I think that, yeah, to be honest with you,
the validation that other folks felt it too definitely served
as an impetus for me to keep going and to
fully lean into it. And that was January of I
think twenty eighteen and I have not straight my hair since.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Wow, that's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
It's funny, like yeah, no, And it's funny like I
always kind of like say this when speaking about kind
of what holds people back or even what is just
so empowering about one person co signing what you do.
It's like sometimes that's all we need to Like I
was just then go down the right path, you know
(18:21):
what I mean, like and to tell you exactly exactly,
And it's funny like as human beings, as connected as
we are, I feel like societally we've been trained to
think all our problems are our own and they exist
in a bubble, right, We're not universal in those things.
And it's just so funny like when you just that
door creeps open for you, just how inviting and it's
(18:43):
inviting you literally, like your whole life changes and the
course kind of changes them. Speaking kind of like you know,
for myself, like what I I you know, my big
star was in like radio and like top forty radio, right,
so like I was trying to sound like the top
forty radio people and I wasn't getting great feedback on it, right,
It was like, you know, a box that had to
fit into it was exactly and then ironically, when I
(19:05):
just started kind of speaking like myself like I normally would,
that was when doors started opening, you know for me.
And that's when, you know, a my career began to
kind of start to happen.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
But be I felt more like myself than ever.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
And it's just funny how it's just that small like
Coaston that you need to like keep pushing you to
kind of explore, explore, explore until you've gone down this
path that you probably can't recognize yourself.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Anymore, no question, no question. And I think that once
you for me, it was less about the validation and
more so a responsibility like, Okay, there are other folks
who need this too. It's not just me to your point, Like,
you're not in a vacuum. None of this happens in
a vacuum. Right, But especially for those in media, we
do serve a community, right. We're not just talking here
(19:49):
for ourselves, like, yeah, the information that we're disseminating, the
conversations that we have or for the greater purpose not
to get all phostopical or whatever. Sure, but it is
important for the folks that we serve to understand where
we're coming from. And more often than that, when you
do that genuinely, it reaches the people that really need
to hear it. And for me, once that happened, I
(20:10):
was like, Okay, there's a bigger there's a bigger push
here than just you know, me embracing this huge part
of my culture and me feeling more more in tune
with who I am and really accepting myself. Other people
need this too, so that was really important for me.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
No, And but the irony is on the flip side
of it.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
It's also a burden that you carry, right because you're
not just speaking for yourself, You're speaking for an entire
group of people, right, and you become the representation for
maybe people who don't have any sort of idea about
you know, Latin culture whatsoever. You are now the one
Latin person they know. Yeah, exactly. So like everything you
(20:51):
do or say they think speaks for every single Latino, right.
And then also maybe what you don't say or what
you don't respond to also speaks v O andes, especially
in the social media era that we live in, right,
So I'd be curious how you navigate that a little
bit right, because you know you're in this sort of
you know, I mean, I'm sure it's gotten better, but
you know, traditionally speaking or generally speaking, it's a perfect
(21:14):
sort of recipe for toxic masculinity. Right a workplace where
it's just all former jocks essentially, right, and all in
one place, right, and just talking about man stuff all day, right, Yeah,
and when one of them be your co host, somebody
on the network, whatever it is, might say something that
is off putting or offensive or doesn't represent what you
(21:37):
feel right, what your values are. And it's almost like,
if you're sitting there, you have this choice to make
where you have to kind of I don't know if
you have to kind of respond or whatever. I'm sure
there's some sort of pressure. I'm curious how you navigate
that a little bit.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Sure, I will say my current where I am now,
I'm very very lucky because I think also, and I
cover specifically the NFL now, but I've covered every sport
under the sun before you get to the NFL network,
And in a league where they are seventy percent if
not more, of the players are black identify as black.
Most of the former players that I work with are
(22:13):
also black, and so we have this organic connection because
we share that in common. And even the ones who aren't,
I think being a woman in the space, so many
of them, their wives are very so they get so
I have I'm closer with a lot of my coworkers'
wives that im right, And I take that as a
(22:36):
point of pride, right like write, sis, what do you need?
What can I do for you? And vice versa. Right,
they support me, they lift me up. But it's such
a beautiful, fulfilling aspect of the job that I do
that I can have the connection with these people, with
these former players, with small of famers, really and it's
been a point of pride for me because I think
(22:56):
that they see me for who I really am. Many
of them have daughters, so they it really means a
lot when they're like, my daughters look up to you.
I hope that they can use you as an example
of resilience of strength, and I'm like, I hope that
they don't have to be this resilient and this strong.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Right my back hurts.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I don't want their back to her. I'm I'm gonna
do it. I'm gonna do it, but it's heavy. But
I have been in situations where I'm like, Okay, one
of two things is gonna happen. I mean, they're gonna
get fired or I'm gonna catch a case because if
this person talks to me like this one more time,
and they will always try you. You know, the great
part of it is it's never been an athlete. And
(23:37):
I think that's partially a big misconception. The guys are
used to being in slightly more diverse areas because a
lot of them come from that space, or a lot
of these athletes were raised by strong women, so they
have no problem with it. It's the insecure men who
could not make it right. Hear it to the league
who want to talk to me like I've never played
(23:58):
a snap of football. When's the last time you laced
them up?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Only like right?
Speaker 1 (24:03):
But you know what, let me not get let me
not got petty, let me get it.
Speaker 5 (24:07):
That is that's a great double standard that's not spoken
about enough. Is like like people will be like, well,
what does a woman know about sports? Well what does
a guy who just sits on his couch every day
every Sunday drinking beer know about like genuinely playing the game,
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
But We're okay with that. That's ever question.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Please stop talking to me about your fantasy league. I'm
the number one bottom almost in the playoffs in both
of you to say, But like many many, many men
who covered sports were considered experts who never stepped foot
on the field, but never questioned ever question. By contrast,
I was on the field a different capacity. I was
(24:44):
an NFL cheerleader and I wear that one pride. But
it's very few people who get access to the field
that closely. And I was already a sports reporter when
I did cheer for the Miami Dolphins, so I had
not only the best seat in the house, the best
Spanish point to watch the game develop in front of me,
a game that I was already covering because I already
knew the game. So I got this develop in a
(25:05):
different way. I got to hear the calls I got,
so I could tell you if that was a catcher
mm hmmm, gonna uh so it it? And I learned
the business side of it working for you.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Well, so, I think there's there's so many things that
a lot of people at the beginning of my career
were like, oh, you shouldn't tell people that you were
a cheerleader. Excuse you how hard it was to make
this team?
Speaker 2 (25:24):
First of all?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Yeah, Second, it is still to this day one of
the biggest learning points in my professional journalism and sports
career for sure.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, but I mean to to the to your point about, uh,
deciding if you're going to catch a case or not,
I think it's it's it's like again when we talk
about the unfair burden, right, that's like placed on our
on our shoulders, because it's like you have to hope
that you have a person in a position of power
that gets it and backs you up for like defending
(25:58):
yourself or understanding in that moment that if you don't
speak up, you're going to then be crucified on the
other end of it, right, And that is walking a
very fine line. And then it's on top of all that, right,
because that's something I can relate to. But on top
of that, then it's the stereotype of you're the angry
woman or the angry black woman. Right, All of those
things begin to then tack on exactly right, right, exactly,
(26:23):
so it's like you're walking in an even finer lineup. And
I mean, I'm not trying to get you like sell
anybody out or anything. But I'm you know, how do
you navigate that? Like mentally and and sort of like
I guess where do you pick and choose your battles?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Would be the way that to.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Asset the reality of it is it's a lose lose, right,
So you you got to pick which consequence you want
to deal with? Right? Do you want to deal with
being disrespected, with being minimized, with being marginalized, with being
made to feel small, with people shutting you out, with
people try to bury you, with not being able to
advance really the way that you want to, or do
(27:01):
you deal with while having to step into your boss's
office more often than not? I chose the latter. I
chose the latter because even though and I think a
lot of Latinas can relate to this, and I'll only
speak for myself here, sure, I because we're not a
monolistic I was raised very much to mind my p's
and q's right, don't talk back to people, don't ruffle feathers,
(27:26):
just keep your head down and go and you'll be okay.
But in the same breath, I would see my mom
and my pisk cut somebody out if they were doing this,
that wasn't right, you know one is it?
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:40):
And I think the point of it is is the
juice fort the squeeze, and for me, when it comes
to my integrity, when it comes to my knowledge, and
when certainly when it comes to my job, because this
is my livelihood. This is how I put food on
the table, this is how I'm making things better for
generations to come in my family. I'm not going to
stay quiet, and I'm not going to sit here and
be like, mmmm, Okay, well, I don't know, maybe I
(28:02):
misunderstood that. No, he said what he said, she said
what she said, and I know exactly what they meant
when they said it. So for me, I can't sit
I'm an EmPATH, so I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I'm not going to sit here with this not in
my stomach or this lump in my throat because it
also affects my job at the end of the day regardless.
So I can't perform because I'm feeling and I'm bearing
(28:23):
and I'm holding all of these things. It's not good regardless.
So I rather get it out, say what I have
to say. Sometimes in a corporate clap back, right. I
maintain my position on these thoughts is I said what
I said, So sometimes you have to find a way
to say it right. It's not what you say about
how you say it. But I am of the mindset
(28:44):
you always speak up for yourself and you always say
what's right. You know. Sometimes again, even if you're scared to,
that's the time when you need to do it the most.
And it's not an easy thing to do at all.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
No, absolutely, But I think on the other side of it, it's,
you know, we're blessed to be doing jobs that we've
dreamed about doing.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
I'm sure you know, for since we were kids.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
But it's a part of the dream is not muting
myself right, Like the part of like I'm not actually
living my dream if i feel like I'm not getting
to be authentic, if I'm constantly censoring myself, if I'm
living in fear of losing everything based upon me being
myself right, And I think that is sort of I
think the mentality a lot of people have to adapt,
(29:27):
you know what I mean that, I think it's important
to stand for something right more than being able to
get a checker, more than being able to say that
you have this job at the end of the day,
to feel comfortable in this situation and feel like you're
not being sort of stepped on, You're not being put
in a corner somewhere. I think that is something that
money can't buy at the end of the day, right,
That's a real spiritual connection to yourself.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
That that I think is essential.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
For all of us to truly be fulfilled, you know,
like legitimately be fulfilled as human beings.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
I mean, you hear a lot in the Latino community.
I partially grew up in Miami. After New York, we
moved down to Miami, and you know, my Cuban counterparts,
they'll always say to do X, Y and Z, to
do the same thing my parents and then leave to
Midicanary Republic for me to be meet for me to
(30:16):
not take full advantage of the sacrifices they made. My
dad was a doctor in the Dominican Republic. He was
a medical examiner, he was an OBG. He'd done sort
of everything. Same with my mom. She left her career
there to come to the United States and literally sweep
floors and be janitors and clean offices and work in
(30:38):
a shoe factory. For me to have the opportunity to
pursue these things, so I would be doing them and
their sacrifices a disservice. And yes, i am the oldest
daughter of immigrants, so I'm not okay, but I'm trying.
I'm trying because we also carry that right. All my
oldest daughters know what the hell I'm talking about right now.
(30:59):
You have to help raise your siblings. I'm the oldest
of four. You have to make dinner for people while
pursuing your dream, while seeing your parents struggle. But try
to carry it all with grace and with pride. And
it's very That's really the main reason that I work
so hard. Why I pushed so hard, because I'm not
gonna let them down. Not because they put this on me.
(31:20):
They didn't put this on my shoulders. But I'll be damned,
I'll be damned if I let all of that be
for nothing. All Right, I'm hopping here real quick.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
One more time.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
We'll take a quick break and then we'll be right back.
All right, we are back. And another part of this
whole conversation I want to touch on it. It's like
MJ the person, right, because the other nuance to this
is you have a job that is very demanding of
you mentally, time wise, has you traveling constantly doing things
(31:52):
like that, and that is out of the norm of
the traditional American household, right the mindset of it's usually
the husband, the father, the dad that's the one traveling
for business all the time, doing these different things, right,
And I'm curious how you find that balance of having
the family life, you know, which is obviously incredibly important
(32:14):
and goals, but also striving to achieve at such a
high level in the amount of demand that comes from you,
you know, really putting your all into this career.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
It's a loaded question for sure. Shout out to my husband,
who is the most supportive partner I could have ever
asked for. I mean, at every single turn. And this
is a Puerto ricommand okay life works in a male
dominated industry, and he's never once flinched at me having
(32:46):
to do an assignment, has never ever questioned how my
trips went. He knows one who I am and how
I rock and how I am how I navigate things,
but two always leads from a place of what can
I do for you? How can I make this easier
on you? What can so we've found that balance with
in our relationship. We've been together eleven years. We found
(33:07):
that balance of our family life and what our reality
looks like. I don't do a normal job, neither does he,
and so we knew that our normal was never going
to be what traditionally we were taught the norm was
going to be. So that's one aspect of it, But
the other one was reimagining what that family life looks like.
(33:28):
You know, I'm thirty nine years old, so for many
many years, it was when are the kids coming? You know?
And I think a lot of folks, if you're an older,
an elder millennial, is like a lot of us are
either waiting longer to have children have decided that we
don't wook them right like, and that's okay too, whatever
(33:51):
the reality of your life. And I think that's the
other point of it. We are allowed to reimagine what
our happiness, what our lives look like, and it doesn't
have to be on that traditional spectrum or timeline that
we've seen growing up. Because of those sacrifices that our
parents made and our family members before us made, we
(34:13):
have this beautiful gift of being able to navigate this
world in a different way that works best for us now.
Is it perfect? Of course not. That's life, life to
be life. But I'm really working on giving myself grace,
not on not pressuring myself to have this done by
this state or to have this quote unquote accomplishment by
(34:35):
this state, and just be where my feet are and
present on what's happening around me and within me at
the right time, and checking in right with my partner,
checking in with my family, but also caring only as
much as I can hold and cheat your point, everything
is pulling from me at all times. My job is
(34:55):
literally to be on all the time, and sometimes I
get home and I'm like a shell, like on the
dream I'm dreamed. But I also have to pour to
my husband. I have to pour into my marriage. I
have poorn to our puppy, you know. So it's like
at any point, you know, I do a lot of mentorship.
Mentorship is really important, and There'll be times where I'm
just like, oh my god, I don't have one more
(35:16):
thing left than me, and a young woman will text
me and I'm like, what do you need this? Yeah,
instinctually without even thinking about it. But that also pulls right,
So I think it's important to find the moment where
you can reset, and sometimes shit, that's not possible. Yeah,
it is what it is, so we have to pull through.
I actually want to give a shout out to all
the women in this industry who have children, who they
(35:38):
have I'm like this, how are you?
Speaker 2 (35:39):
How right? All right?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Wow? And they do it. You figure it out every
single day. So even if it doesn't look normal quote
unquote normal, I wish we could eradicate that word, because
I don't think it exists anymore. In the ear of
the Barbie movie, Like.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
I love the party, but I love how Yeah, you're
defining your own normal, right, and that's okay. It doesn't
have to be one that makes sense to anybody outside
of legitimately you and your partner essentially, right, and your
immediate family. But I'm curious also, you know, as somebody
who's obviously a high achiever, right, And this is something
(36:18):
that I struggle with a lot as well.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
I Mean, it's easy to just keep.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Constantly making new goals, right, and keep trying to top
the last thing, and even just looking back on some
of your career accolades, it's obvious you're looking for the
next step.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
The next step, the next step.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Do you have a line where you're just kind of like,
I think enough would be enough here, because as like
the age old's saying, like a yes to one thing
is a note to something else, right, you can't have
it both ways. So being pulled in all these directions,
having a more even more demanding job, a more demanding schedule,
means less time for the other things in your life.
I'm curious for you how you sort of navigate, maybe
(36:54):
even knowing, like when you can say I'm kind of
good and I kind of want to deviate I don't know,
maybe the career ambitions a little bit and pour more
into this.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Other part of me.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yeah, I mean not us having whull therapy session. I
love it. I love it because that is a very
real question. And I think now with social media, it's
even harder to find that, to find that boundary, Yeah,
to find that that part of you that doesn't want
(37:26):
not only the external validation, but that's in the rat race,
right like ship. Well, okay, if these folks that are
in that are my peers, are cheating this, or are
gaining or on this list, or are getting this award,
it's I'm gonna be real with you. Like the folks
who say, like I don't look at that I do.
I'm like, damn, are I be getting this award? I
wasn't on the eye on that list. It's just a
(37:47):
natural reaction. We are. We are in a space that
is competitive, and I mean that to be in a
healthy way. Because most of my closest friends, our little
group chat that keeps me sustained on the daily basis
is all women of color, black and brown women who
work on TV and media, and we have been rocking
(38:08):
together for over a decade and they are my biggest supporters,
my biggest cheerleaders, and vice versa. And both things can
exist at once. You can be like, yeah, Santh, I'm
so proud of you and be like, right, should I
have put in for that enough? Both things can be
true at the same time.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
Right, Well, that's the other thing, not to cut off,
but like what you were talking about, Also, what makes
it hard is we're all also our own personal brand, right,
So like it's hard to not take ship personally in
it to a degree, right, Like like, and I understand
what right, right, but it's not like I work for
this and that company goes under and like, Okay, it
wasn't my fault. It's like, if I get let go
(38:46):
or I don't get that opportunity, how could I not
feel like I could have done something else to get
the results I wanted?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Exactly that exactly that it's really hard not to put
the onus always on yourself because you are the job,
you are the business. I'm a business man, like Daisy
said it perfectly, you know what I mean, And we
really really are. And now, and let me tell you something.
This social media marketing stuff is not going away. I
think it will transition and will evolve, but more and
(39:13):
more more of us, of who we are, is required
almost in the industry, you know. So it's really really hard.
But back to your original question of like finding that space,
I still haven't found it, to be honest with you,
to say no to something like I've been in this
business for fifteen years. I work at the network level.
(39:33):
There's a handful of us. I can count us on
one hand, black and brown women who are hosting on
a network. In sports, it's very few and far between.
And yet yeah, I'm still thinking the mentality is what's next.
I have not done enough. I have not made it.
I don't think I'll ever lose that aspect of it.
(39:54):
But I think what I'm trying to practice is the
grace and the gratitude, not for knowing my place. Oh
my god, I'm so happy just to be here. I'm
not just happy to be here, I'm here to work, yeah,
but also reminding myself like, OK, yeah, like this wasn't
an accident, this wasn't my mistake, and no one handed
this to me, certainly, So it's reminding myself of all
(40:16):
the work that I've put in and how much I
actually have accomplished, Like my ancestors could have never pictured this,
or maybe I certainly did it. I got into this
career much later on in my late twenties, which in
journalism as you know.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
What, child, Oh yeah, yep, you and I in the
same boat there. Actually literally I figured that if you, if.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
You find the answer, please send it my way.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
I don't have the answer.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
I just know I've been I've been blessed enough to
meet people I've looked up to. I've been blessed enough
to meet very successful people, and I know that not
all of them are actually happy, even though they have
all of the outward facing success that I dreamt about, right,
And that's been the greatest blessing is being able to
see kind of behind the curtain to know I have
to keep this in the back of my mind that
(41:01):
I can't be go go go all the time. Now
where that line is, I haven't figured that part out
yet exactly, you know.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
So I'm still on that journey with you.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
We'll got there.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Yeah, one day, one day, we'll actually get there.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
And it's okay not to have the answers, right.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yes, it's okay. Yeah. I mean.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
So the last thing I want to just touch on
is that background you talk about a little bit, right,
because I think there are, like you said, in our industry,
the idea of starting in your late twenties, it's like, oh,
you're ancient, you're out of it, You're you're almost out
of our data, right.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
Yeah, basically it feels that way.
Speaker 5 (41:32):
It feels that way, you're out of our target demographic.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Right, And you know, for you then making that that pivot,
I'm just curious about some of the mindset, the decision making,
the conversations that were happening from family when you're telling
them that you want to go down this route because
what a lot of people don't know is also when
you are on local TV, it is not this glamorous,
high paying job that a lot of people think because
you have cameras on you.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
It is a grind.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
So I would love to just hear a little bit
of the mindset of that phase of your life making
that pivot in the initial stage in media.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Yeah, I think to your point. Like my parents, definitely,
their only concern was that, well, when I got an
education and two that I get a safe and secure job.
So they wanted to meet to go down business or
finance math and I not friends. I'm clearly right, all right,
more on that side of the brain. But they really
just wanted me to have stability and security, which is fair.
(42:29):
They strive for that and made tremendous inroads in making
sure that my siblings and I had that. For however
that looked so all they wanted was to be a
little bit easier for me, and all I wanted to
do was be a performer. And they're like, so, I've
been a dancer my entire life. I remember I got
(42:50):
my first job was that babies or us. I must
have been like fifteen, I guess was the earliest you
could actually get like a w job. And the only
reason I got that job was so that I could
pay for a dance duty, so that I could go
to this dance duty to my parents can afford bad
They're like, are you crazy? How much is this a month?
Absolutely not, Please go do your homework. And so I remember, okay, fine,
(43:11):
if you can't do it, I'm certainly not gonna like bet.
I was not a tantrum kid, please please be for real.
I was like, okay, how can I figure this out?
So I was like, all right, I'll get a job
and I'll do it myself. Dance. Ultimately, following that passion
led me to this career and this other passion of
my life. I remember I dropped out of college, which
(43:33):
my parents didn't know at the time. I can say
that now for a while, But I dropped out of
college because all I was doing was accumulating student loan debt.
Liked God, So I said, let me just let me
just step away and follow and step into what I
really want to do because I can't. This is not
a failure if I'm actually pursuing something that fuels me
(43:56):
and I can still pay my bills. I will. So
I went on tour. I was on Daddy Yankees' tour
for a while. I was in Miami at the time,
so I was dancing a lot of Latin music venue
and with artists, and it was an incredible part. I
got to see the world, I got to travel outside
the US, and I really learned how to manage myself
as an adult in my early twenties. Eventually I got
cast on a TV show. I don't know if you
(44:17):
remember this or how many of the of the listeners
will remember this, but it was on a sister network
to Telemundo. It was called Mundos. The show was called
The Roof and it was a music show. So we
had a DJA he was spinning, Artists would come in,
people would call in, and I was one of the
dancers on the show. But walking onto that set, I
fell in love with just the crew, how you created
(44:37):
the show. I would look at the hosts and I'm like, wait,
I could do that. I've always been actually career. I
would host like all the Kingsianas and my family and
stuff like that. I didn't know to your point that
that was something I could turn into a career, right,
even the preparations for putting together like the King's run
of show. I didn't know it was a run of show,
but that's what it was, right. So it was this beautiful,
like Kismet situation where all of these things just clicked.
(45:01):
I was probably twenty five at the time. The next semester,
I enrolled in school as a broadcast major, and the rest,
as they say, is history. I was so laser focused
because I felt like, yes, this is it, and I
know that there's a way for me to do it,
and I know that I can be successful at this.
So I never looked back. But I started out in
local news. I did a lot of one man band.
(45:24):
For those who don't know, is your your own camera person,
your own editor. You're cutting packages, which is like the
big stories that you see put together on the news.
You have to edit on the fly. You're on deadline.
I worked the morning shift, so I was up at
two in the morning on air by four thirty. I
covered traffic, I covered the weather, I did anchoring. I
did hard news. I mean I did it all because
(45:44):
I wanted to figure out which way could I do it?
Because I was bilingual. I got to start in Miami
one of the biggest markets in the country, and it
was tough. I made a lot of mistakes, went through
a whole bunch there as well, but I knew that
that was the path. I didn't care that I had
to be up at two am every day around all
(46:05):
this equipment going on, the live news truck, knocking on
people's door on the worst day of their lives. All
of it made be better for the wear, and because
I knew that, I loved it. And it took me
a little longer to get there, but man, was it
worth it? Really?
Speaker 3 (46:22):
No, I absolutely love that, and I love like you
don't have to have it all figured out, right. I
feel like people get so caught up in like the
fucking planning phase of it all, and like they have
to know where they're going and have the answer to everything.
And it's like you're going to be far more like
better off just starting tripping, making the mistakes, getting embarrassed,
and you're gonna eventually figure it out at some point,
(46:43):
but you have to start.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
And I did.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
I took a lot of l's, okay, let's be a
lot of mistakes. I did a lot of elsa back
back part of starting in a major market was your
You're next to all of these seasoned reporters and season anchors,
and I'm like, oh shit, like I got it okay,
And it wasn't fake it till I made it. Like
I could not fake it because I didn't know what
I didn't know right, So I made mistakes and I
(47:08):
embarrassed myself. But I got back up every time. And
it's very hard when you make a mistake on television
to own it and then come back the next day
and still do your job. Yeah, not worry that, Oh
my god. And like my bosses gave me grace, and
thankfully I had on the sports side, tremendous mentors who said,
you can do this, you are talented. Just keep going,
(47:30):
like we're all going to fuck up once in a while.
We're gonna say the wrong stat we're gonna mispronounce a name,
we're gonna freeze. You know, we're human. But it was
that belief, belief in myself and others who believed in
me too, that I was like, all right, let's just
and thankfully, you know, this was like twenty ten is
so like social media wasn't what it was, I sure
(47:53):
would have gone.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Viral meme somewhere.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
Yeah, oh my god, for sure, for sure it's been.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
That's a place. As you get in to meet you,
I'm inspired.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
I definitely feel seen, and definitely you're doing some really
important work.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
So I want to commend you and give your flowers
and let you know that.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
Obviously you already know you're doing important work, but we
see it and it's it's inspiring.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
So thank you so much for all that you do.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
That means so so much. And like, look, we're stronger together,
all right, So just a big if nothing else, whatever industry,
whatever space you operated, lift as you clime, lift as
you climb, and make sure that those people you're still
keeping a type teather on that group, don't lift somebody
up and then let go the slack we need, we
need the peer to peer mentorship. We need to not
(48:43):
just leave it better than it was, but also help
folks navigate through it as well. I think that's a
really important piece of the puzzle.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
Absolutely, And where can people follow you? And then we
got a huddle the podcast, people can check that out.
What else should people be looking out for.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
I've got a lot of thankfully, a lot of projects
coming on the way. Some things in the works, but
you can follow it all along. I'm mj Acosta TV
on all of my all of my channels, m j
Acosta Ruiz TV. Was too long, so.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
Gotcha.
Speaker 3 (49:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Well, I appreciate you. Thank you so much for it,
for hopping on the show.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
Thank you so much for having me. This is awesome,
great therapy session. Appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
Yes, exactly, man, big shot to my guest this week,
mj Acosta Luiz from the l Huddle podcast, just absolutely amazing.
She's also host of NFL Total Access of course as well.
I'm just fucking inspired. Well, we'll get into that. I'll
do a quick conclusion stop even though I'm in vacation mode.
So with that said, let's just get right into conclusion.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
Stew time come man.
Speaker 3 (49:54):
So I love these types of conversations because I think
it really excites me to see people doing the work
right and people who understand and the position that they're in.
It's bigger than just themselves, right, And I know it
doesn't have to be, but it should be right because
we all want to want to leave this world a
(50:14):
bit better than the way we found it, right, or
I hope that that's kind of all of our goals, right.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
And in entertainment and in media oftentimes it's an.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
Incredibly selfish sort of sector of our culture, right. It
is very much people being about themselves, trying to get
their own you know, way ahead. And I'm really inspired
when I get to hear other people who like me
understand the sort of weight that comes with having any
sort of success in this field, especially when we are
the minority, right, and recognizes and not only recognizes it,
(50:45):
but steps up to the plate in order to be
a person who is being a great representative, who is
putting on for our community, right, who is also sort
of being unafraid to check people and to make sure
that things are happening, you know, favorably for us, right,
to really make sure that we're being portrayed in a
positive light, and again understanding that they are more than
(51:08):
just a person in media, but they are somebody representing
an entire culture of people and potentially inspiring you know,
more and more people from our community to go out
there and live in their greatness right and really help
us progress as a as a culture, as a community,
as a people. And I just love when I get
to sit down with people like MJ who understand that
and embrace it and are are really doing their best
(51:31):
to do their part right to be a positive force
for the community and be an inspiration for all of us,
which she is for sure, So big shout out to
to MJ for hopping on the show again. This is
a special kind of two part thing. You're gonna get
then now my interview that I did when I went
on their show a huddle, and definitely go check out
that podcast is really really cool, especially if youre a
(51:52):
sports fan, obviously NFL fan. It's great to kind of
be taking up space in places that are kind of unexpected.
Right to have us banglish show that talks about football,
and then beyond that talks about the Latin community, you know,
in combination with that, I think is absolutely amazing.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
So again, this is the kind of first part of it.
Speaker 3 (52:11):
We'll drop this here and then on the feed you'll
also be able to hear my interview with them. We'll
all keep it on the same life as a get
and go feed. But definitely go check out their show,
go subscribe to it, go binge it while we are
off here while I'm in the off season on my
own podcast, And thank y'all so much for tuning into this. Man,
I hope you aren't missing me too much. I miss
all of y'all. It feels nice to kind of be
(52:32):
back in podcasting mode, even though I'm kind of like on.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
The road doing it.
Speaker 3 (52:36):
But I'm grateful to have the opportunity to come back
in February.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
I hope y'all haven't forgotten about me.
Speaker 1 (52:43):
Also, just a.
Speaker 3 (52:43):
Quick little aside while I have you here, I recorded
my first ever talk special.
Speaker 2 (52:47):
We did it virtually.
Speaker 3 (52:48):
Shout out to everyth that came and participated in that
via zoom. I'm then going to release it on my
YouTube channel in full for anybody that wasn't able to
be there, so you'll be able to check that out
as well. So really cool thing I'm trying to do.
I'm trying to like bring the entertainment value into like
the sort of speaking engagement stuff that I've been doing,
and just a new way I feel like to communicate
(53:09):
to our community in like a really real and raw
way that doesn't feel so bland and boring and preachy
that we could still have fun but talk about real
shit and you know, leave inspired at the same time
as well as hopefully entertained. So that's the goal low
preview of what I'm working out for twenty twenty four.
With that said, have an amazing holiday. I miss y'all
so damn much. I will see you in February, like
(53:30):
for real, for real. But I hope you enjoyed this
special episode that I recorded for y'all, as well as
the upcoming interview from l Huddle podcast and go check
those guys out there are absolutely.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
Amazing, So appreciate y'all.
Speaker 3 (53:41):
Once again, Have an amazing holiday, amazing new Year, and
I will catch y'all in February. This Life as a
Good and Goo is a production of the micro Thura
podcast network and iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
In Huddle is a production of the NFL in partnership
with iHeartRadio. For more podcasts iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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