Ep. 14: Pro Bowl Mania and The Famous E-mail

In episode 14, Gregg Rosenthal and Anthony Jeselnik get you pumped up for their favorite event of the year, the Pro Bowl. Anthony also reveals the famous e-mail from his ex-girlfriend.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to episode fourteen of The Rosenthal and jessel Nick
Vanity Project r JB Number fourteen special in your Heart, Anthony,
your lacrosse number. Back in the day, I've seen things
you people wouldn't believe. Offensive coordinators getting fired off the
shoulder of rivers. I watched d lines glitter in the
dark near the Golden Gate. All those moments will be

(00:20):
lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die,

(00:42):
What a time to be alive. R j VP barely
made it another week, barely The NFL listened to last
week's show, and we're managing to do another. Felt like
that one was the quote I heard was that went
right up to the line, which I was surprised by.
I thought we crossed the line several times, um, and

(01:03):
I thought I would get a reaction, uh, And I
was surprised by the reaction that I got. Surprised and
a little infuriated. I don't know if we're even allowed
to talk about it. I don't want to get you
in trouble, but I thought that someone would talk to
me after that one. Instead, they talk to you Now,
I think, yeah, that's probably the game plan is just
it's just hope this goes away without anyone getting fired

(01:24):
in the meantime, and then maybe come back next year.
There's no chance of money. There is no chance. What
if they sell it, let's say, and you get paid.
Why if they sold it already, and what are they
gonna pay? What is it going to be that I
couldn't make? That I couldn't make on the sidewalk right now?
If I walked out there and told it, told two jokes,
you ever try that. I'm a professional, never had to greg.

(01:48):
That's how I feel, uh doing this, Uh doing this
show here. I came in today, Uh drove myself in
again and wasn't on the list. Uh to get in here,
had to had come down and get me, which is uh,
you know show with the level of respect that I'm getting,
I't wanna get into too much that that was the
problem last week. If you heard the episode last week,
I I I spit some fire about the way I've

(02:10):
been treated and respected on this or lack of respect
that I've gotten here at the NFL network, and they
were upset about it, and and you know I would
say that you were threatened over it, which I which
of course upsets me to no end. But if you
listen to the podcast last week, you heard things that
I said the NFL got upset about. So this week
I gotta kind of button it up. We're not gonna
be able to say things like this. I'll say this,

(02:32):
the NFL network does not know how to appreciate talent,
and that that has come through more and more clearly.
And there was a I would say that, like a
line was drawn and uh, and it was not. It
was not crossed. You know. I think if people don't
if people aren't as talented design, they don't know how
you're supposed to be treated. But you need to feel

(02:53):
like you're appreciated, and you cannot be. What I'll go
ahead and say is being screwed with and and you've
you've kind of you're not. You're a little bit to blame.
But I give you. I forgive you immediately because you're
my best friend, but the rest of the network best friend.
That's why I'm here, That's the only reason that I'm
here is because we're best friends and I wanted to
work with you. But I can only abide so much

(03:14):
disrespect from the league, and it has been coming in
waves and droves, and I I'm out once. Once you
flip a switch mentally, you're you're done. That was a
long clip. Yeah, that was a long clip from last week.
It's just an example of what we can't do this week.
Per the NFL, what they frowned upon. You know, they
just didn't like that. They didn't like Uh, let's say

(03:35):
they didn't like this. Everyone else at the NFL network
is a coward and won't come anywhere near me and
I and rightly so. I understand I'm a little intimidating,
but I haven't spoken to anyone else. You're the only
one I talked to. Yeah. That Uh that again, that
was from last week. I wouldn't say something like that
this week. Just to protect Greg's job. I just I
won't go there. I won't total control of this show. Yeah,

(03:56):
you never had control. I mean, if you had control
the last week, I wouldn't have been able to say
that us. And don't be sad, you know, just be
happy that I ever did this, that I ever did
any of you the favorite of coming here to this
what I'm gonna go ahead and call in quotes a
network that does not know how to handle talent and
and do this podcast with my best friend Nick. Right, Yeah,

(04:19):
those are those are just things. If you were if
you were trying, if you were tuning in this week
to hear things like that you're not going to or
if you're tuning in for the first time ever and
you have no idea what we're talking about, go back
and listen to the last episode. Yes, really, because you
know we're a pair of friends. We're gonna talk about
football eventually. It's best friends. We're gonna talk about football

(04:40):
eventually on this show. Some headlines and whatnot. But we
wanted to get this house keeping out of the way
since these are the last, you know, a couple of
episodes and whatnot. It's the final countdown. This this could
be it. I almost didn't come today once once I
heard the shenanigans that have been going on here. Your
emails to me have been more terse, you know, just

(05:00):
just clearly ready to ready. But you're a pro. You're
not going to pack it in uh us to bring
in the funny. You're gonna still You're gonna come. Our
friendship is my only concern. It's the only reason that
I and I think you know the fans a little bit.
I want to I want to go out on like
a solid note. You know, I mean either kind of
want to get fired or get you fired. Uh those
are my two options here. But yeah, we will get

(05:21):
the football quickly. Just to talk about what did you
do this week? Anything? Uh? Anything not having to do
with this podcast. Um no that My whole life pretty
much just exists in relation to you. What. I just
kind of unplug when I'm not around you. Who do
you Who do you love more? Me? Or your wife?
I love my wife more. You had to think about it.
He had to think about it. You know. We had

(05:42):
a nice weekend. It was a nice, normal weekend. There's
no football, you know, Saturdays we went to the movies.
Uh did you scald herself again? That's not nice. I
I mean I was I was describing something, an incident,
and I'll let you know about it later. We you know,
we traditionally do this later in the show. But you know,
I moved Walker into Ellis's room last weekend, So that

(06:06):
was big for your god kids there. Those are my
two kids there now sharing room. So those are some
big things happen. Nice. How was how was Elise taking that? She?
Is she liking it? Or is she kind of upset
that her Terra task she likes. Does he go into
Walker going the TP that I got Elise? Uh no,
not yet. I got his. I got his grig's children
a TP to put in a bedroom, which I thought

(06:26):
if I was a kid, I would want a t P.
And I was right. She loves it. She loves me.
She loves me more than you or your wife. She
can now recognize you in a picture, So that's a
that's a good step. That's good. I've given her so
many pictures of myself that it's about time. How about
you anything the last week, I've been doing a lot
of shows, a lot of stand up, building up new material.
Uh so if this, if this podcast falls through, I

(06:47):
have something to fall back on. UM. I went to
a friend of mine and I am my writing partner.
I'm working on a TV show idea with it with
a friend of mine, and we were like, let's go
out and do something. Let's like have fun, We'll go
to dinner, enstop just watching a movie. Let's go do something.
And he was like, do you want to go see
tollub Quality downtown l A. And I was like, yes,
I love tollub Qually like they'll be awesome. And we
go to dinner the really nice restaurant Broken Spanish. If

(07:08):
you've never been, it's a great Mexican food place. And
then we get to this concert. It says doors at eight,
show starts at nine, and I'm like, Club Quali is
a pro. He's an older hip hop guy. It's gonna
be like, he's gonna come on by nine thirty. Show
is gonna be over by by eleven. I was very excited.
I got there at nine thirty. There were two two
and a half solid hours of opening acts, each of

(07:29):
them terrible, each of them worse than the one before it.
They would all come out and they would be like,
all right, are you guys excited? No one was excited
to see any of them, No one knew any of
them were. And then they would get like bummed out.
They'd be like, oh, you're just here to see club
quickly like of course we are, and by like eleven,
I look over. My friend is asleep next to me.
He's sleeping sitting down. We're sitting down. Yeah, we're in
the back. It was kind of like a raised seating thing.

(07:50):
I was gonna get with the kids in the front
and I said, you know, let's leave. I was like,
it'll be more fun if we just leave before tellub
qually gets on stage, then it will be if we
sit and watch the whole things were so annoyed and
we walked out. He was maybe minutes away from coming
on stages. DJ was up there. The lights had gone down,
and we're like, screw it. Hard out of eleven thirty
and walking out of that building was the best thing
I've ever done, Better than any concept I've ever been to,

(08:12):
Better than mac Miller show we just a little while back.
Mac Miller was great because mac Miller was professional. There
was a real venue that wasn't just trying to sell
drinks for for two and a half hours, three and
a half hours they mac Miller came on, killed it
and left. That was great. That was a great show,
even though you tried to ruin it by leaving the
T shirt that I got your daughter in a bar, scumbag.

(08:34):
That was That was sad. Although I bought the shirt
online app you bought it. You bought a shirt, not
the it was. It was crag. This is I mean,
I hate you just as much as I hate the league.
Let's go what was cut, but the world water I
brought it from bluttle three hundred six mouths das most

(08:55):
das in the jungle with the leaders, we cheeta. That
was kill up coolly. I assume, well that was tillpqally
and Most Deaf Black Star. You know their album together,
the first one, which was great, So that was technically
most Deaf. But I figured he didn't hear tillib qually
in concert, So why did you trick me? Wh you
say we're gonna play some slib quily Black Star is

(09:16):
basically the same thing. Yeah, but why not play a
verse from silib qually because most def is better? You know.
That's another controversial statement. This is why the NFL has
madded us Greg, because you say things like that without thinking,
without thinking about feelings. Let's do what was cut last week?
I said, I don't. I assume this was cut because
of the way that I said it, the rage that

(09:37):
I said it with. I said, edited because we bawled
too hard, which doesn't sound which doesn't sound like that
big a deal. I guess I was referencing doing a
podcast with um, your old Drew on the NBA network.
Um And when I say it like this. When I
say it in this order, it sounds kind of benign,
but I guess I was. I was full of rape.

(09:57):
Tone was bad. It was very reminiscent of Bill Simmons
in his famous rant against Roderigodell, which shout out to
Bill Simmons, will see you and have him Bill, which
helped expedite his Uh. I think he got suspended for that.
He said testicular fortitude. Right, That was at the end,
But but there was one where he basically just challenged
our fearless leader. And all of this is getting edited again.

(10:20):
Really no, because that was what I did was fine.
I just repeated it. It sounded it was benign. Oh guys,
if you got to edit it for your job, that's okay.
But I think this was fine. Um, some regular swear words.
I'm gonna go ahead and say them because it's fun
to do. I for a little while, I was saying
instead of but you want that, you want that, you

(10:41):
know you want those hard constants. At the end, they
just saying it was kind of weak. Um. And then
we cut an entire segment we did to ask Anthony's
last week. One of them was about last comics standing
and I kind of. If you followed me on Twitter
during the whole Last Comic Standing thing, you know I
was not happy with the edit and I kind of
raged against them, and I compared them to the network
you're currently This is a trend that you wind up

(11:04):
being upset with and getting in a fight with your employer. No,
we edited the last time of Standing it is. It
is a trend that I have. I bite the hand
that feeds me many times. But I think that just
means that some people don't know how to produce me,
because I've had bosses that I've loved. Shout out to
Mike Shoemaker. Now the showrunner at Late Night was Seth Myers.
When I worked on Jimmy Fallon, I told him every
chance I got. He's the only authority figure that I

(11:26):
haven't wanted to murder. But some people, some networks, I
just don't know how to deal with me. And that's
part of the challenge of dealing with the talent such
as myself, or they do things like editing your email. Yes,
but do not call yourself an authority figure over me.
You are my best friend and that's all friend. Emma,
my wife, when she heard that, she thought that was

(11:47):
the funniest part. She loved the whole last podcast, but
she thought that was the funniest part of the whole
podcast was hearing that story and thought that story really
typified that was our friendship in a nutshell. Absolutely. I
think it was trying to edit, yeah, and and telling
me afterwards kind of sheep it. She's like, oh, yeah,
I edited. Maybe if this could be my last trying
yourself and this is very this is very likely my

(12:08):
last podcast. There's a chance I do one or two
more going through the end of the super Bowl. I
don't know. I would like to not I would have
liked to have not come in this week, but I
did push because of my best friend Greg. Last thing
that was cut from last week, Um, this has been
cut several weeks in a row. Talking about John Clayton
and his relationship edited four touchdown. Maybe that gets through Brandam,

(12:34):
what do you think? Doubtful? You guys are getting worse
and worse as we go on. I can't believe the
things you leave in versus what you take out. Um, whatever,
maybe that's the last what was cut. That's fine. Let's
get the headlines. Let's trauma fellas one night on the
cop top like at the special Trauma Jam Trop make

(12:54):
the Gal. That was Till Coolly for sure. I remember
that song in college. That was one of the first
Club Quilli songs that Greg introduced me to. Greg was
a big fan back in the day. Was that was
moving something? Yeah? That was that was great. That was
early tlib qually. Check them out if you have the time.
So we gotta start with the big news in the

(13:16):
NFL this week, the big game coming up. Everyone is
talking to get your party, get your get your chips,
get your sandwiches, get the platter. It's almost time and
the preparation has begun for the two thousand and sixteen
Pro Bowl. Oh man, I am excited about this this year,
Team Irvin facing off against Team Rice just one of

(13:36):
the most storied rivalries in the NFL. People, you know,
as we taped this on Wednesday, getting ready for the
Pro Bowl Draft, a lot of Pro Bowl mock drafts
around just just wild. I'm like a Jewish kid on Christmas.
I'm so excited. I can't even believe I'll got. The
Pro Bowl is such a big event to me. Like
when people talk about the NFL and they see the
NFL is like the biggest, the biggest league in the country.

(13:56):
When they say football is the biggest sport in the country,
they're really talking about the Pro Bowl. It wasn't for
the Pro Bowl, then I think this lead would fold
inside inside a month. Everyone just waits all year long.
Who's gonna be in it, what's gonna who's gonna win,
who's gonna get picked, who's gonna start. People love the
Pro Bowl, the players love the Pro Bowl. It is
It is the creme de la creme. The state of

(14:19):
Hawaii is just on fire this week. But let's let's
move on and at least for now, we'll try to
distract yourself. We'll talk a little bit about can what
I mean, what else is there? What else happened you know,
over the last week, and uh, let's start in Denver,
where what happened must have pleased Anthony. We haven't talked
about this at all. I don't know if you watch

(14:39):
the game live or what happened. But but of course
the Denver Broncos Peyton, manning their great defense, UH took
care of the New England Patriots, and they did it
in a particularly vicious fashion. Hitting Tom Brady twenty times
in the game, crushed him, knocking him over. I mean,
just domination up for on. It was amazing they were

(15:01):
still in this game. If anything, it was a memorable
performance by Brady and Gronkowski to even get them in
that position. But ultimately you gotta give the Broncos credit,
and their pass rushers went to extraordinary length to humiliate Brady,
one of them telling Robert Clemco of the mm QB
that he tried to rub his dong on Tom Brady

(15:25):
after the play. He tried to get on top of
him and just rub him with the old dog. Yeah.
I support this move. I love that. It's like I
love that he's an unnamed source, like he was like, Hey,
I'm gonna tell you this printed, but don't use my name.
But I support this move because Tom Brady is the
Blarney Stone of dogs. Rub your dog on Tom Brady
and you have good luck for the rest of your life.

(15:45):
Now did he actually rub his dog on Tom Brady
or did he just try and fail? I guess we'll
find out in the Super Bowl if Denver wins. It's
obvious Tom Brady got a dong rubbed on him by
one of the Denver Broncos. Who do you think it was?
I've a guess I know who it was. It was.
It was von Miller. Of course it's von Miller. What
other player sack celebration is pelvic thrust? He's obsessed with

(16:08):
with dog, putting his dog out there. I mean, I
love von Miller, but everyone does. Von Miller's entire family
rubbed their dog on Tom Brady during that game. Tom
Brady loves von Miller, it does now. Yeah, that was

(16:32):
Kesha edited for Crack his whack. Brandon producer was dancing
during that, uh entire segment and then the second you
made your joke, he just stopped. Yeah. I immediately went
to my pen to the paper. Why come on that cold?

(16:53):
That can say? Brand that was been in a great mood,
by the way, all week because he got another broadcasting job.
This is not a joke. He will now be the
announcer of what is it again? It's now girls, It's
gonna be a spring sport track and field, women's track
and field or something. But you got a new gig. Yeah,
basically baseball and softball for season. That's awesome. Were we

(17:15):
doing before? Fuller men's and women's basketball Okay, so different schools,
different sports. That's great, man, you're really spreading out by this.
I'm waiting for the joke. No, the joke is the job.
You got that good. Uh, let's stay in Denver and
talk about that game. And Tom Brady took a lot
of criticism before the game from the Broncos, who really

(17:37):
went on him in the press. Certainly after the game,
a lot of people enjoyed, uh this Patriots loss. I
wrote an article about you know, picking You know, people
just enjoy Patriot and Freud kind of Belichick Brady. They
love seeing him lose. You do too. And the wife
of Eric Decker, Jesse James, who's also a country star,
I believe, has a theory of why Tom Brady gets

(17:59):
picked up it as much. And and she says it's
because he's so good looking that if he wasn't that
good looking, people would not pick on him this much.
They're they're jealous, and they just want to go after
a guy that seemingly has it all because he's so hot.
That is crazy. Here, here's here's why that theory is
is terrible. I'm gonna debunk this right now. Because Peyton
Manning is a million times hotter than Tom Brady. There's

(18:22):
a million times sexier than Tom Brady. It's like Peyton
Manning is I mean like a male model, like he
is like on the runway. He is in every commercial
for a reason because he is gorgeous. Tom Brady, he's
not a bad looking guy, but he's no Peyton Manning.
He's no Peyton Manning. Can you identify with with this?

(18:42):
Getting picked on more? Because because you're a good looking guy,
I mean more than you probably, I would think I
don't really get picked on that much people. People are
afraid of me, Like people can't even talk to me
when I come into work. That's what. I don't get
picked on at all. Who's here looking Eli or Payton? Oh,
I mean that's tough. That's tough because that that third

(19:05):
brother is no joke either, the third Manning brother. I
would say, I would say, Peyton Payton has got this
classic I'm gonna say, like a Greek Adonis kind of
good looks. You know what I mean that you would
like if you could, if you could sculpt your baby's
face to look like Peyton Manning. You tell me you
wouldn't do it. Right now, if you could just like
mold it with your hands. You wouldn't try to make
them look exactly like Peyton Manning. I'm just kind of

(19:27):
freaked out by that good looking baby. I'm telling you
I'm not alone here. Everyone thinks that that Peyton Manning
is better looking than Tom Brady. That's all. That's all
the bomb, that all many a blasphem the past. That

(19:50):
was a Greg Rosenthal's corn cover band. Uh. They were
called on the cob and they were they were something.
They were really something back in the day. Greg got
so much because of his corn cover band on the
cop I'm I'm missing You're a juke this week with
these with these bands in between, I miss him. The
Broncos fans enjoyed this victory. As I said before, during

(20:14):
and after. Viral video this week came out where a
Broncos fan had tipped a porta potty over during before
the game with the Patriots fan inside, and the video
is essentially just a gleeful Broncos fans laughing at the
fact that some Patriots fan had to crawl out of

(20:35):
this tipped over porta pott Yeah. I support this, of course.
I hate the Patriots more than I hate Let's say
this network, Um, I I love when people tip over
Porter John's because it's always the guy's fault who got
tipped over. Do you know what I mean? You would
think it's a cruel thing. If you go to a
if you go to like an away game in the Jersey,
you do not use the porta potty, and if you do,

(20:58):
you can get your friends to have your back. I go,
is this anyone who's ever seen the video of a
porta potty getting tipped over? It's not the first time,
this is not It might be Manning's last rodeo, but
it's not. It's not this fan's last rodeo. They've seen
it before. It's happened before. You don't do it. It's
like if you get the guys at concerts, this happens
to me. They get in a fight and then I allright,
break it up. All right, See, I'm done with this.

(21:19):
Screw you guys. I'm gonna go use the porta potty
and it get tipped over immediately. You gotta know better.
You gotta know better. The tail as old as time.
I mean, but they had the concert fight followed by
the tipped over porter potty. Whoever always tempted. Whoever invented
the porta potty had this in mind, he knew it
was gonna happen. I mean, I think it's like the
It's It's it's first call, It's the first thing you

(21:41):
look for. With two esprescial shots. They don't tell her
how many newspapers I read by several papers and I'll
read them all twice. So that was your old Drew
bringing it back, bringing back your old Drew guy. He
was very happy with us last week for playing his
his his new hits. Um. We definitely talked him up

(22:03):
last week. Girl Drew is great. Uh is a big
fan of my comedy, a bigger fan than I would
say the network is um. He he loves it. He
thinks I'm funnier than George Carlin and he's right. What's next,
Greg Praise? Do you do you think that I'm the
best of all time? That's with that one of those
articles we talked about way back in episode one or two.

(22:26):
Do you remember the title of it said Anthony jessly
links the greatest stand up of all time or something.
Anthony jesly Look is the greatest comedian who has ever lived.
I still have it on my phone, I can show you.
Did you is it framed? It in your bathroom? Nope,
that's my New York Times Review hot take of the Week.
We usually do this at the end of the show,
but it just fits with what we're talking about, right,
No rules, no rules. We have the Pro Bowl coming up.

(22:47):
We're not gonna worry about where things go. We're just psyched.
We're just psyched about the All Star Game, the All
Star Game of all Star games. Oh yeah, Well, it's
the whole thing is it's a little distracting knowing that
just what four days from when we're taping this, Team
Rice and all the history that comes with Team Rice
is gonna line up on the field and you start

(23:09):
to think back about all the great moments in Team
Rice history. And then they line up against those famous
purple uniforms of Team Irvin. You get, you got Michael Irvin,
and you get you got a hula dancer on one side,
another hula dance on the other side. I'm in, you're
gonna put a flower necklace on him? Oh my god,
what time is the game? No one knows, and that's

(23:31):
a crime. But we have to, you know, soldier on
and talk about some of the lesser stories like this
hot take of the week, and I'm gonna give it
to the Denver Police Department. They were the hot takers
of the week. Uh put put out a tweet during
the middle of last week's game the n f C
Championship with an emoji and then missing Persons unit headed

(23:56):
to Sports Authority Field that's where they play to try
and locate the Patriots offense. Go Broncos. Do you see
what they did there? I see what they were saying
they was missing. Yeah, that's terrible. Okay, you're the police department,
all right. First of all, don't jinx your team. It
was it's in the middle of the game. That is insane.
It was in the middle of the game, and someone

(24:17):
quickly did a you know, Twitter put a tweet up
that said the Broncos at that point had forty less
yards than the Pages. Hey, buddy, your offense is led
by Peyton Manning, who couldn't do anything. There was fifteen
drives in that game. If you didn't have the best
defense of all time, or at least in this game
they were, they wouldn't have won. You know, it's insane.

(24:38):
And also you're you were the cops. That Twitter account
is for amber alerts and active shooters. What are you
doing making jokes during a game? If anything bad had
happened in Denver, if it had been like a radical
Islam situation, everyone will be fired. Everyone with a trader
account will get fired. You're saying after that tweet. If
they during if it was like, oh, while they're getting cute,

(24:59):
it's going down own. It's like it's like the it's
like the middle scene from Heat out there and this
guy's on Twitter messing around brand you ever see the
movie Heat? Nope? God, you also didn't see uh the movie?
Where are the intro to the show? It was a
quote from Maybe we don't have to say it. If
you know the movie, you can tweet at tweets at it.
I don't know that's that's so long. The most annoying part.

(25:23):
If you didn't know that it was from Blade Running,
you turned off the podcast when I said that. The
most annoying part to me actually any anything to do
with the safety of Denver. It's the headline in this
Washington Post article, which is such a typical headline for
these articles. This is this is the headline. Denver police
Department absolutely destroys patriots with masterfull troll job. Oh yeah,

(25:47):
what a masterful troll job from the high jinks from
the comedic geniuses at the police department. There they are
like the new National lampoons, the masterful control job. Whoever
wrote that headline doesn't know what any of those words mean. You.
Your job is to protect and to serve police. Leave
the jokes to damn a scheck. What's next? The Act

(26:07):
and Trust? But I'm not fix? Tell me lord, why
did you make so many snakes? It is it cool
for me to punish some of them stakes? Anno? I
ain't perfect streaming, far from it. I'll get away slick
and only doing What was that? Snakes? Baby snakes? Is
that the name of the rapper? Is he just a
guy who just wraps about snakes NonStop? Just up said

(26:28):
about why God made snakes. That's a crazy thing to
wrap about. This is again we have to play some
some of the music officially approved by the NFL. That's
in house music. It's not commercial or that's one of
them brand that was played again the Act Trust But
I'm not fix. Tell me lord, why did you make

(26:48):
so many snakes to punish some of the stakes streaming
far from it. Is it cool for me to punish
the snakes when they make mistakes? What? What mistakes did
you snake make? How many snakes do this guy have?
That's the worst rap songs since it's at the mall.

(27:09):
But honestly, that guy, that guy opened for club quality.
He was one of the openers at this concert, like
they were all oh so bad? Was that like an edge?
For a second, I was thinking, maybe it's like a
kid show. It's like an anti snake song, like stay
away from the Snakes kids. We're trying to teach the
kids about snakes. But in like a cool, hip hop,
young type of way. It sound like a guy who
was doing a karaoke to a hip hop song and

(27:30):
like lost his place and just improvised. The Carolina Panthers
won the NFC Championship and it was not close. I
was wrong about the Arizona Cardinals. The Panthers way unrolled,
and a lot of people still not happy about it.
Seahawks fans who lost a couple of weeks continue to
complain week after week. We're just keep hearing more whining

(27:52):
by the Seahawks fan. This week, a Seahawks fans started
a petition on change dot org to ban Cam Newton
from the stadium century Link Field. I don't think he
wants him back in the city of Seattle at all.
They want him to stay away, Anthony. This is this
is so so awful that I kind of love it.
Like Seahawks fans are becoming the new Patriots fans, Like

(28:14):
they just they expect to win, and when they don't,
they act like little children. And let me start with this.
Petitions mean nothing. Stop them. Everyone's all. We have a
petition to ban Justin Bieber, a petition to deport so
and so. No one cares. Obama is not reading through
your signatures making sure everyone's legit. No one cares. And
this petition is even worse than anything else. It's online petition.

(28:38):
Um Ever since Snakes on a plane bombed to the
box office, no one cares what you organize on Facebook.
Here's the letter the guy wrote. That's a fact band
Cam Newton from century Link Field. He's one of the
most unsportsman like quarterbacks in the NFL and deserves to
be banned from Century Link Field. He dislikes Washington as
a whole anyways, So why not move to make this possible.

(29:02):
That's it, That's all he wrote. Ah oh there was
the top part. Oh, I thought that was just the
article give me, Give me more music. Cam Newton is
one of the most unprofessional, unsportsmen like individual on the
face of the plan. So I say, for the two
thou sixteen seventeen, when the Panthers come to play in Seattle,
he should be banned from entering the stadium. They should

(29:24):
teach him to put his arrogance in check. Two exclamation
points I don't even like one. Definitely not too. Are you, sir,
are racist? I'll say it again. Anyone who doesn't like
Cam Newton, anyone who doesn't love Cam Newton, is racist. Racist, racist. Racist.
My mom tried to say, no, I think it's that
you want quarterbacks to act like quarterbacks. My mom's racist.

(29:47):
I'm calling it out right now. You you got some
notice for your truth to power speech last week about
cam Newton when we were picking on the Seahawks, right,
oh yeah, yeah, and Reddy did you watch that? You?
I did not like. I like the people put together things.
They produced things for me. They took my rant about
how Austin cam Newton is reading reading the letter that

(30:08):
that they wrote about tearing down the twelfth Man flag
and throwing it, saying that in Seattle, uh, their quarterback
goes and visit sick kids in the hospital. And so
they played my clip of me like making fun of this,
and then they showed a bunch of pictures of Cam
Newton with the sick kids in the hospital. Of course
Cam does that. Cam is the best. Cam is the best.
And if you don't like it, if you don't like it,

(30:29):
you're amastad. Do you hear me? You are? You're Magneto
in Twelve Years of Slave? Is what you are. If
you don't like Cam Newton, who's the actor what's his name?
I don't think Magneto? The characters in that movie and
the actor who played Magneto, what's his name? Brandon? You
saw it? Remember Michael Fastbender? You're Michael Fastbender and Twelve

(30:50):
Years of Slave. If you don't like Cam Newton, you
are you are the prosecutors who prosecuted O. J. Simpson.
If you don't love Cam Newton, you are Mark Ruffalo
and you can count on me. I've never seen that movie.

(31:10):
I bet he would just don't understand. I know who's
racist in real life? Anyone who's like really racist, like
the white guys in the Heat of the Night, Gene
Hackman and Burning Mississippi. That's what you are. If you
don't like Cam Newton, I've never really seen the movie.
He might be a good entire movie Hoosiers. Maybe that
would fit in your way off. I mean, I don't
understand why you're not clear on this. Yeah, I mean no,

(31:33):
Greg's I mean it's it's over four, Like he's so
far off. He's like playing different games. He I don't
even count those two. He's just oh win, oh um,
you are. I can't think of any other racist people.
What's in the movie about slavery. They've got some, They've
always have some. Ah, you're any white person in Roots

(31:54):
the series if you If you don't love Cam Newton,
I love Cam Newton. He's my favorite. Stop have you
went to hospital leading You'll see see that was your
old Drew again. I think the NFL is gonna be
psyched when they hear this one this week. They thank

(32:15):
you guys, this is a palate cleanser. I agree, they're
gonna love it. I love a football, our love of
all things Pro Bowl again Sunday at a time to
be determined in Hawaii, because it doesn't even matter what
time it is, because it's always Pro Bowl time. I'll
make it. I'll make it a I'll I'll admit something
right now. Since they changed to this new Pro Bowl format,

(32:35):
I have not watched the Super Bowl because every year
I get ready, I have a party, I get ready
to watch the Super Bowl, and then I remember that
I've got the Pro Bowl on my ti vo, right,
And why watched Super Bowl when you can watch the
Pro Bowl? Why watch regular old rosters when you can
watch a super roster of Pro Bowlers. That's what I'm
all about. You. You're a huge fan of that Kyle

(32:55):
Rudolph performance when he won the m v P of
the Pro Bowl. Boom. I got the Kyle Rudolph Pro
Bowl jersey, like everybody does. A lot of airbud action
coming at us this week on Twitter, and we we
always appreciate that. The downside for the Carolina Panthers for
missing um, I mean, for making the Super Bowl, rather
is there gonna have to miss the Pro Bowl? I mean,

(33:16):
Cam Newton is definitely It's the first time I've seen
him not smile when they told him after the game
that he wasn't allowed to go, he was Devastatd's one
of the reasons you hate the Patriots so much. All
seven Patriots that made the Pro Bowl decided not to go,
even Malcolm Butler, who was making his first Pro Bowl.
I understand you don't want to tarnish it with their bs,
with their with their with their Tom Brady tainted crowd. Please,

(33:39):
Luke Kickley and the Panthers are going to the Pro Bowl,
I mean the Super Bowl rather, But Luke Kickley got
the big pick six last week, got the touchdown late
in the game, kind of cemented uh that win was
a very exciting moment. And when he did, the cameras
for Fox could not help but catch a fan get

(33:59):
a little too ex sighted Anthony and flipped forward over
the railing onto the field shout out to Josh Hamilton's
I don't even remember the last time I had a
wallet lead in my back pockets. Rough filmed out of
movie and applications, but I had little on my time
doing go to Smooth. That's a rapper hired by the

(34:22):
NFIL to talk about his job interview which I'm assuming
he did not get because of the lint on his tie.
That guy didn't even mention snakes once? And how were
you not ready with that song? I I set it
up so well. I had my hand up forever you did.
But I thought we were going to the next one
because they're the same topic kind of, you know, same team.
Why would I have my hand up for a whole
another topic. Don't edit this either. Don't worry. The tension

(34:46):
is thick in the studio. He's the only one of
the enough network that I like. Wow, Cam Newton the
only one that I've ever talked to that that's true too.
Cam Newton and the Panthers, Uh, they've been really embraced
by the hip hop community. I don't know if you
knew this. There's a picture in the locker room with
Cam Newton and DMX and Mike Epps too, and also

(35:11):
before the game, I believe Jeezy was their future was there.
They're all on the sidelines just kind of. It's a
team that, uh that the Panthers embraced hip hop, and
hip hop has embraced them right back. That's so that's
great to hear. Um. If you were if you're gonna
have like roppers, in your corner, like rappers have my back,

(35:32):
But if I probably don't have your back, like who
who would be legitimately do have rappers in your corner? Um?
I would want C Murder. Do you remember C Murder?
He was a masterpiece brother who called himself C Murder
and then he murdered someone. So if you're gonna call
yourself C Murder and then you murder someone, I feel

(35:54):
like that's a good guy to have on your side.
Like he just does not give a you know what
I'm saying. Do you think that? Do you think that
he was related to a murder and be murder? Because
D Murder was dope? I would go mob Deep was
the other one that came to mind. I don't know why,
but being you know, living in New York, they just
seemed to represent that sort of They just seemed a

(36:14):
little scary to me. If I could have mob Deep
represent me, I would go mob Deep. Yeah, that would
Those are all good, good choices by you. Um, I've
got a couple of represents. Definitely have my back. Year
old Drew certainly has my back. We've talked about him
many times. A guy named open Mike Eagle, who was
a great rapper once sampled me in one of the songs,
which I really liked. Yeah, but he kind of sped
it up, so you can't if you know the line

(36:35):
I used, like you get it that it's me, but
I wouldn't have understood it. I'm waiting for someone to
name dropped me in a song. That's what I'm excited about.
My friend Jay Farrow said someone, uh, someone dropped him
in a song. Um, Apathy actually dropped him in a song.
You need to come up with a good nick nickname,
I mean rhyme for Jessel Nick. I told you not
to use the N word on this show. That's gonna
have to Brandon. You have to edit that. Um here's

(36:57):
the rappers that I would have my back, in addition
to the ones who already have back. Uh Black Rob,
Yeah for sure, like Shine Shine Back and and Mace. Oh.
I want someone. I want someone to have the power
of the Lord on my back. Wait for you to
get it. That was DMX shout out to d What

(37:24):
do you think? What do you think we listened to
more in college? That song? We listen to that a lot,
or like well, Black Rob, because I loved that you
played like more than any song since I've met you.
What about things you can Do Buy? Yeah, that was
up there. That was up there. But I think since
we've since I've known you and I guess you know
we were roommates in various houses for three years that

(37:47):
they're in a couple of years out here. Uh in
those five years, yeah, Black Rob, you played NonStop for
six months straight and would not stop. Like I it
was a hard song to get too sick of. But
whether it was in the car, there was at home, like,
it didn't matter. You would just put it on. In
the second it did, you just like lit up like
a Christmas tree and started dancing around. You know, it
was great. It's a great song. I stand by it

(38:08):
to this day. You know what they're gonna They're gonna
play that at the Pro Bowl for whoever wins. The
winners get to go in the locker room and hear
that song. It is going to be. I think they
actually got him. Black Rob is doing the national anthem?
Is he for the game year? I think he's still
in jail edited for a Loha. It's the Pro Bowl.

(38:42):
First off, Brandon, when I go to the bathroom, I
tell you turn my mic off. I don't want your recording,
and secondly, I wanted you to play that in the beginning.
What do you have to say for yourself? I'm sorry.
I'll accept it. At least someone around here tells me
that they're sorry. I thought that as like a recording
of of the Marcus Thanksgiving dinner, just like that was

(39:06):
the conversation going on that he's looking at me, Who's
Thanksgiving dinner? Marcus family? Okay? And I know his last
name was Marcus Um. You know what the title of
that song is, by the way, Drunken Carnival. It's you
know what I was gonna say. It sounds like when
Frank Drebin goes into the bathroom and in the Naked Gun,
he doesn't know his mike is on, and he goes
in the bathroom starts singing in there. That's what it

(39:27):
sounded like. Have you seen that movie? Nope? Have you
ever seen a movie? I mean, we raised amish. I
don't understand how you've missed Blade Runner, Naked Gun. What
years did they all come out? Yeah, this is aging
you a little bit, Anthony. Naked Gun is a classic.
You've seen Airplane right, may have a long time ago. Okay, okay,

(39:49):
let's move on edited for Greg is fighting for his job,
girl Drew. That was Basketball and Seinfeld one of his
newer songs. Not forty Deuce, which I hope we have

(40:09):
coming up soon. Uh, but but Basketball and Seinfeld, which
you released a few a few months ago. Great song
with the with the Seinfeld theme in it, which is cool.
People just like it. People like that. What's our last headline? Greg?
Chris Christie is in the news this week. He's a
noted Cowboys fan. As if the Cowboys couldn't get anymore

(40:31):
unlikable that that image of Chris Christie and Stephen Jones
and Jerry Jones hugging at the end of the Cowboys
Lions the Cowboys victory over the Lions in the playoffs, uh,
is one of the funnier and yet um distasteful, I
would say images of the last five years. Chris Christie
is a little worried that Johnny Manziel could be coming

(40:54):
to the Dallas Cowboys. He says he will throw his
body in front of the Johnny man Zel train if
it heads towards Dallas. I mean, if anyone's body could
derail a train, it would be Chris Christie. I think
that the people of New Jersey should rise up and
throw Chris Christie in front of a train. Forget politics.
If the governor of Pennsylvania, who I cannot name, nor

(41:16):
would I know the name if I heard it, had
an opinion on any team outside of Philly in Pittsburgh
that wasn't they suck? Let's kill them, there would be
a statewide riot. Could you can think of any other
like representative of the land. And they've They've got the
Giants in Jersey? Is that it is that the only
team they have? They got the Jets. Yeah, but the
Giants play in Jersey. The Jets play in New York. Please,

(41:42):
I don't. I don't. I care about Pittsburgh and nothing
but Pittsburgh. So I don't know these other things. But
I've never even heard of the Jets. They have those
two football teams. They're close to Philadelphia, so there's a
lot of New Jersey. I can see him like any
of those teams. That would be totally fine. But you
cannot love the Cowboys, one of the most hateable teams
beside the Patriots in the world, not just not just
the NFL. I I if a governor of Massachusetts or

(42:03):
someone that was running for governor of Massachusetts openly, like
the Cowboys or some other team. That would be it.
They're done, that will be it. It would be over
and now and Christie has done. I'm not gonna vote
for him now. I'm not gonna vote from him less
unless he comes out on Team Irvin and the Pro
Bowl north Side California Tree. That was three kids trying

(42:31):
to ruin a beat and succeeding. You. You reminded me
when you were talking about Team Team Iran that the
thing that people don't talk about the Pro Bowl enough
is the emotions. Um and and a lot of it is,
you know, great emotion, but there's a lot of heartache
to there's there's a losing team on the Pro Bowl
every year, and I just have to think back a

(42:53):
couple of years. Um, I think it was two thousand
fourteen Team Sanders lost. And and not not only the
team Sanders lose, they haven't even existed since where is
Team Sanders? I bought my Team Sanders Jersey. They just
left town. Now it's Team Rice and Team Irvan. There
was a Team Carter once, only only St. Louis. Can

(43:15):
you can understand what you're going through, and I get it.
You know, it's it's a great thing to be invited
to Pro Bowl, but if you lose, you almost wish
that you had never been born. If you lose the
Pro Bowl, let's take it the recommendation station, Greg. I've
got just a book this week. I didn't get to
see a movie. Okay, it's it's one of those that's
the time of year from movies where everything sucks, everything
is terrible. Well, I'm still catching up. Sure, I have

(43:37):
a lot to catch up on. Still, so I saw
three in a row last week. Sona saw the Holocaust
movie Hilarious. It was good, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend
it for other people. Was it tough? You tried to
get me to see it with you and I refused to. Here,
I can't. I give the Paul Hall quote. White people
don't want to pay twenty dollars just in a movie
theater for two hours and listen top up there it was.

(44:00):
It was tough, um, but it was worth seeing. And
The Big, The Big, The Big Short, which I thought
they did an awesome job. But I'm gonna recommend an
Melisa that Charlie Kaufman movie because it passed my one
big test for a movie. It's crazy. My wife hated it,
absolutely hated it. It's creepy. But I have never seen
any movie anything like it. And if you can leave

(44:23):
the movie theater and say that that you have never
seen anything like that and you will remember it for
a long time, that that means something. Sure, I would
agree with that. Would you say it's the kind of
movie that you should see with someone else, Like you
need to have someone with you to kind of talk about.
It's like a love story where you'll feel you get
the pressed if you go about alone. Because every Friday morning,
I've got to get out of my apartment for a
couple of hours to leave, let my housekeeper door thing

(44:45):
and uh, and I go see a movie at the
movie theater down the streets. I might go see Anomalisa.
But I can't pull the trigger on Anomalisa. It just
seems like like what am I doing? What am I
doing here with these problems? I think you want to
I think you want to talk to people about it afterwards.
It's it's not really it's not so much about the
love story and feeling lonely. It's more strange. Um, I'm
gonna recommend a book and a half. Greg, Uh, this

(45:07):
is uh this book I read. It's called The City
and the City. You heard me, right, The City and
the City by China mea mia villa. I'm gonna go
ahead and say, that's how you pronounce that, like I
like when you look up to Yeah, you've read The
City in the City by China. Is a famous artist,
I assume a writer. I assume it's a guy. I
don't know why I think that. I think I saw
a picture China. Who knows that could be anyone, That

(45:30):
could be a guy or a girl. Um. Great book.
It's a science fiction, but it's kind of like a
like a police detective investigation kind of thing, so it's
grounded in reality, but in this weird world where I
hated it for the first like fifty pages, and I
just kept going and then fell in love with it
by the end. I always loved the phrase that if
you read a book, a good book, you do the
work for the first hundred pages, and then if the

(45:50):
book is good, that the book takes over and it
does the work for the rest of it. That I
I thought this was a great example of that, and
I just started a book. Brandon. You can even turn
your mic off at this, you know how even listen
because it doesn't apply to you. But Greg, I'm reading
your new favorite book. You will love. It is called
A Little Life. I don't know, I know, I don't
know who. I can't remember the woman author's name, but

(46:14):
I'm a hundred pages deep. It's like a Japanese American. Yes,
and it is incredible. It's about like a four friends
starting to their friendship together in college and then it
goes on through the rest of their life. I'm still
like just out of the college phase, but it is
an amazing book. If you liked And again, I'm only
a hundred pages and I usually don'tcommend books until I'm
finished with them, but I like this so much. I
was up all last night. Um really loved it. And

(46:37):
if you liked uh, the Goldfinch, it's kind of that
sort of writing style that that I think you would
really respond to that, Yeah, a Little Life. Look up
A Little Life and forget the author's name. It's gonna
be I've been made so much if the name is
so complicated, Greg wanted to marry her. That was a
recommendation station doll mechanism. Let me know the exacts on

(47:02):
the basket. Hey, get your face, that was your old
drug forty deuce Again. We'll allow to play as much
oldrewp as we want because he supports the show. He's
given us permission to go nuts with the Old Drew.
Every week we have a segment called Ask Anthony, where
a listener asked you something. This week, Vic Vinegar. Vinegar

(47:25):
went with the quantity over quality approach, asked about twelve questions,
and Vic it worked because one of them is the
one that we chose. What has been your favorite aspect?
Anthony of the Rosenthal and jessel Nick Vanity Project. I
didn't see that coming. I was a little behind on
my r G VP whisper. Sorry, guys, this is an

(47:46):
easy one from me. There's only one thing that I
even kind of like about this show, and that, of course,
is that I get to make fun of Brandon. Whenever
I want, I can just look up and just things
just popping into my head. You know. I mean, I'm
not a normally a mean person. I'm not. I'm not
from my sult humor. But when I see Brandon, it
just inspires me. To just crush him. And if you
if you saw a picture of Brandon, you would know

(48:07):
what I'm talking about. You would you would know. And
of course no one has ever taken a picture of him.
No one would waste the film. Uh film yeah, film yeah? Ok, yeah,
you're you're like amused. I think that was your comeback.
That's not not the fact that no one would ever
take your picture like you're a vampire, Like you're an

(48:28):
amish vampire. I'm not saying he's pale. I'm pale. He's
just not He's not even ugly. It's just there's no
facial charisma. I'm gonna go ahead and say, would you
agree with me? I would disagree? All right. If Brandon
can ever afford a therapist, this is gonna come up.
I'm your therapist. Also, I like I like, you know,
getting to clamped around with my best friend, Greg, friend

(48:49):
best friend on the on the show. I like that
I give I give Greg something to live for. I'm
sure it's not easy to uh be here doing these
things that that. I think. I mean, every we can,
I try to quit. You really talk me out of it.
You enjoy this? This is you know, one of the
best parts of your week, and I think you'd like
getting to It's like I'm a I'm a comment rocketing
by and you just get to grab onto the tail
and just ride it for about an hour every weekend

(49:10):
and let go and kind of just use my momentum
to kind of float through space. And I mean, I've
got a great life, and you have a wife and
kids and and like a real job that anon give me,
give me love and contentment, fulfillment these kids. Sure, sure,
but you don't get the rock like I do, you know,
I mean, you don't have a refrigerator full of nothing
but champagne and sparkling water like I do. That. I

(49:31):
that I like to kind of just let you kind
of hang in my and my aura. I really wish
that people could see the video of Anthony acting out
Anthony as a rocket ship flying through the air and
me trying to hang on and really get into it.
I can do it all. I can do it all
three dimensions. On this podcast, our listener of the week

(49:51):
is ice Block ice Block Films. That's what he's going
by on iTunes and again, you can leave your comments
for us and your radi on iTunes and subscribe on
the show on iTunes. You can go back listen to
all the other episodes. As long as the Rosenthal and
jessel Nick Vanity project, as long as it exists. I

(50:11):
mean it'll it'll be there forever. That's a that's the
great on before you read this, what are the chances
is our last episode? I don't know? You tell me?
I mean, I know, I'm saying it's not up to me,
like I will. Let's say i'll come back for I'll
come because you're off next week. Yeah, but but well
I'm in I'm at the super Bowl, so we can't
do the podcast. They offered. They offered to let me

(50:33):
Brandon you know this thing. They were like, wouldn't have
then to go to the super Bowl, like go do
stuff like with Greg for the week if we give
him a ticket, not a hotel, not transportation, not two
tickets so I could bring a friend one ticket. You
are bending the truth theory, that's that's what you told me.
And am I wrong? What was the truth? I don't

(50:54):
know something now. I want to know the truth. I
think I was. I was saying, like is that a possibility?
I don't even know if it would have I don't
even know if that would have happened, I couldn't even
get you, Uh, couldn't get you anything else. I think
the more like the most insulting thing they could do,
they would have done. And that sounds like it maybe
like half a ticket, maybe a ticket for the last
year's game. Um, Anthony, it's gonna it's gonna be tough

(51:18):
for Anthony to stay interested in football after the Pro Bowl.
I mean, yeah, so that's a that's a problem. Um,
So I hope, I hope it keeps going. But like
I said, Ice Block Films left this note best podca
you send me to Hawaii? Oh that would then I
would do. I'll do. I'll commit to three years right
now if they send me to Hawaii for the Pro Bowl.

(51:39):
Brandon asked some of the absolutely asked, that would be
incredible if that actually had some of the Shadowy League
figures are definitely Aska, asks c Sun or whatever the
hell you're coaching now. The best podcast on Earth is
what Ice Block Film says. I had a dream and
Greg and Anthony were coming to Tokyo to do an appearance,
slash signing and sell a bration of this podcast. I

(52:01):
went to it and Anthony had sent a ten year
old boy in his place and instructed him to sign everything.
What are you gonna do about it? Anthony? That's COM's
like that. That's I mean, I did not see that, Poma.
That's a. That's a that's pretty good. I like when
I have a theory that whenever someone tells you they
had a dream about you, that means they want to
have sex with you. And they're telling you that, Like,

(52:22):
if you want to have sex with me, you can
I had to dream about you. Would you agree with that? Brandon?
Actually would? Has anyone ever told you that they had
a dream abouty? Surprising rights my face? No, I mean
it's not. It's not. I'm saying you're not ugly. It's
just unremarkable, you know what I mean. It's just like
not it's not pleasing. It's not unpleasing. I just don't
leave a lasting impression. Say yeah, like you commit a

(52:44):
crime and you there would be no witnesses even if
you did it in the middle of the Pro Bowl,
if everyone watching, with the world watching, if you see
an Melissa, you should go see a Brandon and think
of yourself as one of the faces and no Realisa.
You'll know what I mean you need to go see
the naked gun staff and then go see your mamalies.
I also, this one caught my fancy, not only because
it was the most recent one, so it just seemed good. Uh,

(53:06):
we might go to Tokyo this Yeah, this drop season.
Anthony has really wanted to go to Tokyo, and uh,
me and my wife are going to be going at
some point. Uh my wife and our kids will stay
there for a while, but I'll go for a week
or so. And uh Anthony wants to come up, come
along for a few of those days and rock out
in Tokyo. I love you guys. Have to decide with
you and your wife, like how the trips work. So

(53:27):
like Greg wants to like fly either there with me
or back with me with just the two of us,
and then one trip he's got to be with his
wife and kids, which is more fun. Could you imagine
me and you want to flight to Tokyo. We would
ball so hard, we would both so hard they would
divert the flight. It would be a Malaysian flight. I'm
gonna go ahead and call it situation. We would take
that thing down. It would be Uh, it would be

(53:49):
wonderful and and it would get worse when we get
there because we would be welcomed off the plane by
h by Watanabe's sons. My my father in law, Takeshi
would love shout out to him. He doesn't listen to
the podcast, but no one balls harder than him. He
would be greedy es with with some bottles, probably at
the at the airport, and it would be insanity. I
would love it. I would love it, and I think
it would be nice to have your your father in

(54:10):
law have someone he could like, enjoy too and have
a good time with. That was Goldie Hawn dancing. It
was a shout out to laughing Brandon. You ever seen laughing? Nope?

(54:33):
Did you get the reference when I said Goldie Hawn dancing?
Do you'd like know? I know who Goldie Hawn is
is in her her daughter Kate Hudson or you were young.
I wouldn't dropped off a script. I remember when we
were working at Hallway Pictures at Goldie Han's house, I
had a I had a interview to be like an
assistant at their production company Weird, and they were talking
up they were talking up Kate Hudson and how great

(54:53):
she was, and I was just looking at them like, uh,
I'm not getting this job, and I did not. Thank
God I did not. I saw them a few weeks.
Let's talk about our predictions this week. I'm gonna just
in the difference this week, and we only have one game,
and people have been asking about this email. I guess
I have reference in the first episode where an ex

(55:14):
girlfriend of mine tried to burn down my life. I
discussed this on the Tonight Show once and and this
girl and I have since become friends again. I've like
forgiven her now. I think it's kind of a funny story.
But I've never actually read the email and its entirety,
so I know we're going along here. I'm sure there's
gonna be a lot of edits this week that we'll cut,
some cut some time out. But this is worth uh,

(55:34):
this is worth saving, This is worth savoring. If the
podcast lives on in any sort of way, it will
be because of this email. So we're give me your
prediction and then I'm going to couch my prediction in
this email from uh, we might as well pick the
Super Bowl, or should we pick the big game? The
Pro Bowl? I don't want to pick the Pro Bowl
because I want to just enjoy it as a fan.
It's almost like how like Chris Collinsworth won't predict the

(55:56):
game that he's in. There's too much emotion at stake
win or Irvan when Irvin and Rice matchup, and I well,
I speak for both of us. My I said, we've
got a lot of money on this game. Oh of course,
our life right. The I mean, when you think Irvin
and Rice, you think really the Lombardi and the Belichick
of their errors as coaches, just as masterminds. They get

(56:18):
that team they and they only have a couple of
days to get them ready, and yet they come out
there with some really innovative stuff. The prediction I have
for the Super Bowl is not gonna be welcomed in
the Millner household. That's my uncle and uh you know,
my my cousin Justin Milner, and they're they're big time
listeners of the show, at least my uncle is. I

(56:40):
think they're Denver Broncos fans, by the way, and I
think they're gonna be disappointed. I don't think this is
gonna be like a couple of years ago, John Elway,
when he saw that loss, wanted to build a tougher team,
a bully, a better defense, and he's done it. He's
basically done it, and so their reward will be they'll
keep the super Bowl closer. It's gonna be one of
those super Bowls that's totally unmemorable. We haven't had one

(57:01):
of those in a while where it's just twenty eight
to thirteen. It's not it's not exciting, exciting blowout. Panthers
are totally in control the whole time. They're just simply
the better team in Peyton Manning goes out on a
losing nute. That's my prediction. Okay, that's a uh, that's
a good prediction. Now, let me set up this email.

(57:21):
I was working on a TV show called The Unit,
which was a TV show air for a couple of
seasons on CBS. I was an accounting clerk. That was
my that was my day job while I got good
at stand up and I got a development deal with
MTV to do a TV show where I was a
comedian who had a day job that he hated and
was trying to get out of it. So he just
like hated his boss and we go out at night
and be good at stand up and that was like,
that was the premise of the show, and I kind

(57:43):
of made it just about the people that I worked with,
thinking no one's ever going to see this. And then
I broke up with a girl who was kind of
Internet savvy, and she took the treatment and then made
up an email address. And the treatment is a treatment
is like it's like, you know, kind of just talking
about the characters on the TV show, on what the
TV show is to people who had never never seen it.
And I didn't even change names. Uh, And in the

(58:06):
treatment that I that she got a copy of. So
she made an email account called the Unit snitch at
gmail dot com and then emailed my boss. And then
my boss read this email, brought everyone else from my
office that was mentioned in it into her office to
read it, and then brought me into read it. And
I'll read the email right now. This is one of
the worst moments of my life. I'm going to go

(58:27):
into here, uh subject information about Anthony, Jesselyn, Hi, Cindy.
First and foremost, please forgive us for wishing to remain anonymous.
We just want to do this quietly without causing major
office drama. Frankly, we're fed up with Anthony and believe
the amount of special treatment he receives is extremely unfair.
Although we like Anthony outside of the office, his work

(58:49):
ethics are despicable. Below are just a few examples of
what he really does well he's here. He constantly tells
us how he hates working under you and Chris, and
how he plans on letting his workload hile up until January,
when one day he's going to come into the office
tell you off and helps you'll fire him on the spot.
He wants to get fired now, but he can't afford it.
He plans on living off unemployment, but right now the

(59:10):
amount of unemployment he'd receive isn't enough, and he'll receive
more money if he waits until January. Every time I
was gonna say that, I'll check out. Oh yeah, these
are not exactly lies, but you don't want to say
and play company. Every time you too argue, he laughs
about it to us and tells us how psychotic he
thinks you are, and how your son should be taken
away from you, etcetera. He has no respect for you

(59:30):
or anyone else here. He constantly serves the internet, checks
and returns personal emails, and downloads music and videos. Every
time he walk by his computer, he's on the website
MySpace or ESPN, or reading message boards. He's either late
or leaves early, saying he has meetings to attend. He
tells you that because he knows you'll believe it. He
went out of town three weeks ago, is going out
of town next weekend, and again at the beginning of

(59:52):
December for an entire week. Why is he allowed to
take so much time off? We don't think the extra
hours he puts in covers it. It's just not fair.
He uses company time to write jokes for his comedian
career and works on his MTV show. His MTV show,
by the way, is based on our office and co workers,
including you and Chris. He has turned both of you
into characters. Below is an example of what we found
in his computer, which he wrote on company time and

(01:00:14):
submitted to MTV, and this is now part of the treatment.
The show is called day Job. This show operates under
the assumption that the day job is a horrible thing,
that anyone who enjoys work is a complete moron. That
may be a harsh assessment, but it is certainly true.
A day job is not a career. No one, regardless
of sex, race, age, or orientation, has ever felt anything
but hatred for a day job. Yet is a necessary?

(01:00:35):
Yet is a necessity of survival? Day jobs pay rent,
credit card debt, student loans, and bar tabs. Secretaries, clerks,
and assistants moved through the awful purgatory of the day
job to gain experience so they might one day embark
on fulfilling careers. Young people slaving at a day job
are angry young people, and they should be where to
channel that anger. This show suggests that frustration should be
taken out on the one day job representative that's not

(01:00:57):
in it for the short term, the boss, the day
been questioned. Here is a small office housing the following
the boss, the boss's secretary, the first assistant, the office
supply manager of the receptionist, five computers rose upon rose
of filing cabinets, and Anthony. Anthony is the office anti hero,
displaying zero respect for authority, essentially performing no productive tasks
for the office, yet managing to be popular and respected

(01:01:19):
man on the job. Having either quit or been fired
from every possible job in the area, he cannot lose
this one. Anthony carries a chip on his shoulder, the
size of the punk rock movement, and behaves as a
borderline sociopath. The choices he makes in life are not
based on right or wrong, rather the level of possible
embarrassment and effort required. Anthony is also want to be
stand up comedian, too clever by three quarters, and operating

(01:01:41):
under the belief that any day now I'll be plucked
from day job obscurity and put on Letterman not Lena.
Considering Anthony lives in Pittsburgh, not Los Angeles and New York,
this is a pipe dream to all but him. Anthony
is no respect for anyone he considers an authority figure. However,
are anti hero more than makes up for it with
humor and rach arm The boss lady her name is Cindy,
and she is the worst all caps playing favorites, completely

(01:02:05):
irrational and utterly irrelevant. She feels that since she makes
the most money, she should have to do the least
amount of work. Cindy, despite making her pay rank known
to all, is constantly having tax problems and lives on
the brink of financial ruin. Could owning seven horses be
the problem? She'll never admit it, but she has to
leave work constantly to deal with her pet slash friends.
Cindy likes Anthony, but only because she doesn't know how

(01:02:27):
he truly feels about her. The first assistant, Chris, is
a sycophant completely disrespected by everyone in the office. Overweight
all Gary talks about his sports, go into ridiculous details
about statistics and comedy, describing entire episodes of South Park
while making about rageous lives about his personal life to
build himself up. To build himself up to an apathetic staff,

(01:02:48):
he somehow manages to actually do less work than anyone
but Cindy, although he supposed to be the workhorse. Chris
hates Cindy but praises her constantly while barely concealing his
desire to replace her. Now, this goes back to by
ex just talking to city. Anthony constantly teases us, and
while we brush it off as him just being him,
it hurts our feelings and leaves us unfocused. It is

(01:03:08):
to the point where we dread working with him and
are uncomfortable around him. He's intimidating, rude, and obnoxious. It's
extremely unpleasant witnessing him receiving so much special treatment and
getting away with everything is decreasing staff morale. We enjoy
working here and value our jobs. Anthony does not. Anthony
makes a mockery out of our office and doesn't want
to be here. Everyone knows that it's insulting and frustrating

(01:03:28):
to see him get away with so much while we
do lose grunt work. We suggest you beat him at
his own game and let him go now, sticking it
to him when he can't afford it, instead of letting
him win and screwing us all over in January. There
are plenty of people who would love to have his
job and who would actually work now. Imagine wait, you're
actually still back to being semi friends with this girl. Yeah,

(01:03:50):
it was like so ridiculous, and I didn't speak to
her for years, and then it was so ridiculous that
it was like kind of funny. And once my boss
forgave me, like my boss cried, like the assist guy
never talked to me again. Did you end up actually
quitting in January? No, I I worked for a little bit.
I lost the job when there's a writer strike. That happened,
so like I just got kind of laid off like
everybody else did. And they finished out for me. Um.

(01:04:11):
But like that night, they all thought it was funny
because it was obviously my ex who was doing this.
They're like, no one here would if it almost complaining
about you, and everything they said was true about me,
by the way, but everyone knew what and thought it
was kind of funny. Um, and so like that that's
your interpretation of it. One of the guys didn't talk
to you. Yeah, well I no. I mean at the
time though they thought it was funny. They were like, oh,
this is crazy that your ex would do this. My

(01:04:32):
boss had to report it to her boss because it
was sent to her company email. She was like they
could see this. So that night they're like laughing about
how crazy this is and like don't respond to her,
just like let it go. I didn't speak to her
again for like years. But then the next day I
came into work and they had all had the night
to think about it, and it was so like spot
on and like details about their lives that they never forgave.
Like my boss was crying. I went and I was like,

(01:04:53):
do you want me to quit? This is so awful.
And a couple of years later they like once I
kind of you know, made it and got some fame.
They would all kind of gett touch with to me.
I was sending it anyway, and I kind of laughed
about it now, But so I kind of forgave. I
kind of forgave the X. But yeah, it was that
was It was a rough one. Imagine like I was
sweating so hard reading this with all of them staring

(01:05:13):
at me. How old were you at the time, God,
this was six or so. Maybe yeah, yeah, I was
about ten years ago, so I was about That was
a rough one. That was a rough one. Did she
really own seven horses? She had a lot of horses, Brandon,
did you when you heard the description of how Anthony

(01:05:36):
joked around and but made fun of all the people
around him at work and how it made them feel,
did you identify with that at all? It did? It
made me sad. I hope one day I can forgive
Anthony for this. By the way, Carolina wins, Oh sweet Carolina,
making up for slavery in a tight game. Sit back,
enjoy the rock, Sit back, enjoy the rock, Sit back,

(01:06:00):
Joy to rug that wasn't long enough, but would sit
back and enjoy the ride? By unknown, the official song
of the Pro Bowl Greg This might be our last show.
I could see the NFL listening to this and being like, guys,
get out of here, stop wasting company resources and time.
But if it's not, uh, let me know. How are

(01:06:23):
the God kids doing? How are your daughter and son,
Walker and Elie? Well, like I told you, they moved
into you know, Walker moved into Ellis's room and it
was the cutest thing the other night, Walker just maybe
basically making all these sounds all day and then Ellis
wants to come over to him and sort of Pro
Bowl fever. Catch it yeah, high in Hello football fanjeral

(01:07:04):
pal Dave Damashek here make sure you check out the
Dave Damashek Football Program. You can watch it on YouTube,
NFL dot com. You can listen to it on iTunes
or Stitcher or NFL dot com Slash podcasts. We look
at the world of pro football and the game called life.