October 28, 2015 • 49 mins
In the second episode of the Rosenthal and Jeselnik Vanity Project, the guys talk about some of the biggest stories in football, the content that was edited out of episode 1 and they discuss what their sources are telling them about Week 8 in the NFL.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the Rosenthal and jessel Nick Vanity Project, Anthony.
They said we wouldn't make it to episode two. Suck
it through a straw. Oh, we are back. That's Fetti Wapp.
(00:24):
We contracted him to play our intro song. He's a
huge fan of Anthony and myself. Thanks Fetty, thanks for
the help. This is the Rosenthal and jessel Nick Vanity Project.
Thank you to everyone who subscribed and downloaded and sent
us nice things. And everyone was saying, you know, they
were worried we wouldn't be back for the second episode.
(00:44):
But here we are. Anthony. Yeah, I notice everyone to
the Greg is thanking you for subscribing, for giving your
feedback and listening. I don't really care, yeah, care so
much about about what goes on here. I'm kind of
just here to hang up with my friend Greg. I
can pretty much tell that by your lack of promotion
for the podcast and in general lack of interest, like
will you ever listen to our podcast? I don't listen
(01:06):
to things. Um, I did you know, man, I don't
have to listen to it. I was here when it happened,
and I don't even really I don't really watch things
that I do. I don't watch myself on TV. I
just do it. And then I collected a check. That's
fair to your job. Well, how do you think the
first one? You know you were here for the first one.
I think I went the same. I mean, I think
that it's gonna get better every single week. You know,
(01:27):
I think you were crazy nervous, uh, and like just
super unprepared. But you know, I think I all through
through over my shoulders and carried you around like a fireman.
I've got I've got some sources. And speaking of which,
you've got some sources coming up later in the show.
We're gonna we're gonna do that. We're gonna go over
some headlines are world famous weekly predictions. Now we're gonna
(01:48):
bring that back where we got our listener of the week.
We're gonna look at some of the tweets you guys
sent us. We have our hot take of the week.
Um oh, listen to that Little Wayne. That was little Wayne,
little way, Little Wayne? Uh? Is this did I remember
(02:09):
this right? Didn't juvenile once knock on our friend Roggin's
door in college by mistake like he was looking for
his girlfriend. It was not a mistake. He were corructed
by this sophomore year of college at two Lane and
week before school started, we're having a party and juvenile
just came over. I think it was at his girlfriend's
house next door. One of his many girlfriends knocked on
the door, and we had no idea who he was,
(02:29):
and he kept holding up his chain going he didn't know,
he had no idea. That's the part i'd have going
cash money, cash money, Like who is this guy? What
does cash money mean? And then someone's like, that's juvenile
and we let him use the phone. I see, I
would have known because cash money at that point where
essentially like we were like living in Liverpool when the
Beatles started. In terms of our time in New Orleans,
(02:49):
I mean, cash money could not have been more popular.
They were so popular. They had knockoff bands that would
copy their songs. Shake It Like a Dog was one
where they copied back that asked him and the and
the knockoff bands were popular. Yeah, yeah, I remember this.
It was amazing. How was the biggest song that ever
was created? How it was huge? Back that thing up,
I use the edited version. I didn't realize let's go,
(03:12):
let's let's let's move on a little bit. We can
come back now let's just talk about cash money. We
can come back to stories. But I didn't realize after
the podcast we got some complaints. People said, you guys
sounded edited. They're not letting ants, Anthony. Here's my philosophy
on this is that again, like I'm just here to
hang out with my friend Greg behind the shield, behind
(03:32):
the shield and all the protection that it entails. But
also there are things that come with that, Like I
didn't know we're not allowed to swear. I thought usually
on podcasts you can can't swear for the Shield everywhere
we go. I think of what Roger Goodell says, if
you're an NFL employee like me, everywhere you go, you're
representing the Shield. I'm like a walking NFL insignia. I
mean I've been representing the Shield my whole life. I
(03:52):
feel like you know what I mean, just just in
terms of what the league stands for. So, yes, they
did have to cut out a lot of the show. People, Uh,
we're upset about that. They were saying they want the
uncut version. That's never gonna there is no one cut version.
Like we knew doing this, they we're gonna have to
cut it up. But my promise to you, I promised
to you the listeners, is that I will go back
through each episode afterwards and I will explain what got
(04:14):
cut out, and then if that gets cut out the
next week, I will have to explain that again. It
will be very meta and it will just be an
interesting take to see kind of what we what we
went for, and a lot of it's just things like
I said in the moment or Greg said in the
moment um. But let me go through last week's episode
and tell you what we cut. We cut like five
or six things. First of all, any time I swore
(04:34):
we had to cut, which was a shame, um, because
I'm good at it. You know, I really hit the
I really hit that when I want to do it.
It's a it's good for me. Um. We we cut
a breast cancer reference talking about Ironhead, Heyward. Um, I
kind of made a reference to the fact that, uh,
they don't let you talk about you know, your your
dad who died from brain cancer, but it was breast cancer.
(04:57):
But they won't even really let you do that edited
because it was too funny. Um. Another thing that got
cut uh from the show that was not breast cancer related.
We had it. We had a question which team do
we hate? Which teams we love to see kind of suffer?
I had picked the uh, the the Ravens, Suji Pick,
I don't even remember. Oh, the Giants, the Giants. Yeah,
(05:17):
but it was just boring, Yeah it was. It wasn't interesting.
That's what we cut. It wasn't for contents. Uh. Then
we moved on that. We had a question about Big
Ben with Big Ben would Greg, would you let Big
Ben watch your children? Uh? And actually that was you.
You stepped over the line and made a joke about
Ben's past. Well, yeah, yeah, you're not allowed to talk
about Ben's past if you work for the NFL. He's
(05:38):
one of our he's one of our important guys. Yeah,
And I mean I think you should have known that. Like,
I would never make a joke about Ben's past like that,
unless you're talking about his Super Bowl rings. I would
talk about that all day. Um. But but yeah, that
got cut because of Greg. And then again this last
one here was because of Greg. We talked about Playboy
for a little bit and how Playboy, um is uh
(05:58):
is not gonna show? I mean I more and you
went off on kind of like a rant about pornography
that made me uncomfortable, to be quite honest, like I
was like, I didn't pick that up. Was that emotion?
I was like, cut this, cut this, Like you're a
married man. Maybe maybe we're playing against type here. You're
supposed to be the bad boy of comedy and but
who's getting cut out more of this show me or you?
(06:20):
It's you? Maybe it really shows who's got it. I
could be that maybe on the bad boy of NFL podcasters.
I think you're like the bad boy of aesthetics to
what I mean, Like, that's like why a lot of
the stuff gets cut. But again, I'm wearing some pretty
sweet purple slacks right now. You are dressed for the office.
I'm dressed for the comedy club. That was actually not
the last thing that was cut you. I want to
(06:43):
I want to go a little further into you talking
about porn. I just think that it was It wasn't
so much like what you said. It was like who
you were saying it about, edited for being overly crunk.
So that wait, wait, there was one other thing that
we cut. Oh yeah, you didn't even remember your your
long insane profanity. I used tirade about her Edwards view
on climate change. That was in there. That was little Wayne.
(07:14):
Anthony just wants to you to live out his dream
to be a radio host. Let's uh, let's go through. Actually,
let's talk a little bit about what happened in the
last week of our lives and so you know it
show is gonna be a little bit about us. We're
definitely gonna talk a lot about football. Headlines are coming
up next and we got a lot of good ones.
But that's a lot of little Wayne, A little heavy
(07:37):
on the little way in there, Brandon. Uh, that was
a little Wayne. The I just wanted to catch up
quickly with you over what happened with you. I don't
get to see you as much as I would like.
It's busy during the NFL season year. Of course, the
godfather god parents to both my children. Another week where
you didn't give him any gifts or see them at all. Uh,
what what have you been up to over the last week?
(07:59):
Your specials out on Netflix? You're kind of off the
road after a big three or four months on the
road to what is happening? Specials on Netflix? Still getting
good press. You saw the latest article that was the
happiest I've ever been to say. That's right. There was
an article with the title, and I'm recalling this from memory.
Anthony jessel Nick is the greatest comedian of all time.
(08:22):
Anthony Justin is the greatest comic who has ever lived.
That's that's pretty amazing. If you don't believe it, google it,
Google it. It's all about how great I am because
I make fun of tragedies and most people don't. You're
supposed to be a clown in the face of a tragedy.
So you were excited. But I mean, I've been hearing
this from you for a long time. In fact, in
your special you call yourself the greatest comic. I say
I'm a comedy god, and that is that is certainly true.
(08:44):
I dwarf everyone else. Anyone else who holds a microphone
is an embarrassment to the art form. So did you? Uh?
Any shows? I did? I went? I I did Carson
Daily at a spotting Carson Daily this week, my fourth
time on Carson Daily and my career. Just let you
know how well that's going. Uh. So you just like
sit and talk to a producer. Carson's not even there.
Carson doesn't care that's awkward. It's it's no. It's actually
(09:07):
pretty easy because you don't have to worry about you,
like I know they're gonna cut this if it's not good.
You just sit there for half an hour and some
producer like asked you how great you are? Skipped out
on doing Seth Meyers the other week you were still.
I had to cancel. I had. I had to cancel
Seth Meyers because of travel things, but I would have
loved to have been their sets of friend. Yeah, we're
he's from Pittsburgh. We talked. We talked Steelers when I
was on when I worked in thirty Rock on Follon
(09:27):
you opened for everybodyse Garfunkle notes I want my friends.
Garfunkle notes a guitar and ukulele comedy band um that
they call themselves musical comedy, as I refer to it
as music. Not a big musical comedy fan. But they're
dear friends of mine. So I went to Seattle and
open for them, and it was funny because it was
like all these like young girls like in their audience
and they have no idea who I am. So I
(09:48):
would I go on stage and be like, what do
you talk. I got a thousand times more famous than
Garfunkle Notes, but they didn't care. They were just like, what,
who were you? And they didn't even know about that.
I was in one episode of Garfunkle Notes where I
get up. It's not earlier audience maybe the musical comedy.
What is the worst audience that you've ever had in
terms of that you were just not the fit for it.
(10:09):
I know casinos are a disaster. Sometimes, No casinos aren't bad.
I mean not at this point. Now, I'm famous enough
that if i'm if I'm the top of the bill,
then you know what you're getting. I've done casinos where
it might be a little weird, but people are into
it where they get there. Um. The worst thing that
I can remember recently last summer, I was in Ireland
doing a festival in Dublin and they put me like.
(10:29):
I had a couple of shows where I headlined and
those were great, but they have one where I opened
for this guy and this guy was like, I forget
his name. I would compare him to like a Ryan
Seacrest type kind of like a like an MTV VJ
sort of thing where like young girls love him. He's
like kind of not corny, but like close to corny
and just very like friendly comedy. You know. He makes
(10:49):
one of Justin Bieber and like breaks down the song
baby the opposite of you because young girls hate you. Yes,
young girls are not. Even my daughter still won't hug
you hugged me. That's a true story. I got a
high five every once in a while. Hugs everyone else
really gonna now that I thought, it was like, that's
not true. She's not a very she hugs her parents,
but she's she's selected with she's going to give her love.
(11:12):
I like that because I don't want her to be
some kind of hug who's running around throwing hugs out
left and right. Like I think when she's at the
right age and she can appreciate my comedy and what
I've done for her comedically, then she'll start hugging to
be twenty years Yeah, but this Joe in Dublin, I walked.
It was maybe a thousand people in this is a tent,
and I walked four hundred of them, no joke, like
there was a smoke machine, walked and they left. They left,
(11:34):
They got up and left and drove in the street.
There and there was a smoke machine where like just
to make it the place look better, I guess, and
they start pumping the smoke out so that there were
things that I wouldn't be able to see people leaving
if they just had too much smoke. So then I'm
like yelling at the smoke machine guy and I'm like,
just get me through this. I do half an hour.
People were furious, like someone screamed out, you should be ashamed,
(11:56):
and I like, I started laughing so hard after one
of my jokes. And then this guy comes on who
they're all waiting for. But even though they were waiting
for him, I had ruined the crowd so hard it
was like I had personally slapped them all on the face.
And this poor bastard came out and was just like
close to weeping when he took the mic from me,
was like, thank you, Anthony, and then just bombed his
face off for the next hour. That's great. You must
have good about that. I did. I did. I thought
(12:17):
it was hilarious. You know what I was thinking to
see what I asked this question. Immediately thought you told
me that story about your show at Marshall recently where
you decided it would be a good idea to make
a Marshall plane crash joke in the middle of your
setup at Marshall. Several of them at Marshall. They were
not happy. It was one of those jokes where everyone
started talking to each other like I was. I was
talking to a girl in the front row and uh,
(12:40):
and this girl says, um, I'm like, oh, what do
you do for a living? So I work here at
the university. I work from Marshall. I'm in the athletic department.
And I said, oh, what does that mean? You just
make funeral arrangements? And and people just started talking. They
were like really upset. And then I got them back
and it was fine. And at the end of my
seid I do a thing about like why I make
fun of tragedies like that, and people kind of plotted
(13:00):
after that. But then I had to go into a
meet and greet right to meet these people in the audience,
which I never do. I always wanted to, like just
get out of them. You don't like meeting people in general, No,
not after especially if they performed like leave me alone.
Um A kind of sweaty and eyed, like my my
head's going to million miles an hour. But I go
to meet these people and everyone was like, you shouldn't
have made that joke, like that was very funny, thank
you for coming. You shouldn't made that joke. And I
was like, well, that's what I do when they go
no, no no, no, you shouldn't have made that joke here
(13:23):
and I looked at all them, I was like, where
the hell else am I gonna make this joke. It's
Marshall or nowhere, Like no one else is like, hey,
remember that plane crash in the seventies that happened in
a different school. Let's talk about that for the that
was your chance. You had to grab grab the bass ring.
I remember last last week when I I did really
listen to the show, most of it. I um, I
stopped at the crunk Crunker, funky Fresh segment. I was
(13:46):
just like, I can't, I can't really listen to this.
But what one of the notes I sent to myself
was get to football a little faster. And here we are,
uh And I didn't take my note at all. We
need we need some sort of excuse for the this
to be on NFL media, So let's do some NFL headlines. Brandon,
(14:11):
that was a little Wayne. We had a whole different
headline song too. I was gonna have ready, But now
Anthony is totally over ridden the production plan and has
insisted we play Little Wayne as much as possible that
one clip throughout the show. Maybe we'll change the clip
each show. People can send us up and then we
won't listen to him because Anthony's just gonna go with
(14:32):
Black Rob next week. All right, let's talk uh some football.
Jason Pierre Paul that this was a big story, breaking news.
I wrote the story, Anthony. I don't know if you
read it. Of course, did you read any Do you
ever read anything on NFL dot Com that I read?
I support your comedy go you know, watch the special
go to you on show sometimes. Yeah, but my stuff
is funny on purpose, you know what I mean. Jason
(14:55):
Pierre Paul. He of course had the fireworks accident July fourth,
one of two NFL players to have a big fireworks
acts and the other one on the Buccaneers. His career
is over. JPP is so good though he can play
with less fingers. He has resigned with the Giants. He's
gonna start practicing and he will be back on the
field within a couple of weeks, he could make up
(15:15):
to eight point seven million dollars this year. Anthony, you
know what I heard. I heard that it wasn't an accident.
I tell you that. Yeah, he was like, check this out.
Uh did the old magic trick of how many fingers?
How many fingers am I blowing up? Um? My? My
thing about Jason Pierre Paul, I love him. I think
it's hilarious that he lost a bunch of fingers and
(15:36):
then just like the way he acted after that is great.
What will be awesome if once he starts playing, every
time he gets a sack, they shoot off fireworks. I
mean kind of like when they had like them in
the Buccaneers school and they have like the Jolly Roger going.
If they just like do like just way too many
fireworks every time he gets to say if he if
he comes up with some fireworks themes sack celebration where
he just exploding afterwards, or he definitely just waves his
(15:59):
finger at everyone used to say, uh, yeah, Jess Pierre Paul,
how good is that that you can play with three?
Would you play? You're good enough to play with less fingers? Yeah,
but only like as a defensive player. You know what
I mean, if he was like if he was like,
you know, if you played any other position he was
a center, he wouldn't be as good. It's true. But
(16:22):
if you want to be like, hey, Jason, who's number one,
he's the guy, it's not gonna work. He said he was.
I know, I was trying to think he was. He
said he was feeling after this whole break, you know,
the way from football. He's feeling much younger, you know
what I mean, like young, definitely lighter. Um Russell Wilson.
This week, moving on to another headline, UH that was
(16:46):
in the news, Russell Wilson dressed up as Batman uh
for his girlfriend crs birthday, her thirtieth birthday. He was
somehow able to organize a birthday in which Serena Williams
showed up Beyonce a whole lot of people. She was
dressed up as some sort of superhero as well. Your
(17:07):
your thoughts on the whole Russell Wilson experience going on here.
I think it's hilarious to me to see Russell Russell
Wilson any picture he's with Sierra Sierra cr I don't know,
we're showing our age Brandon, like, what is the I
don't even know. Does she sing something, Sierra? I've heard both.
She in a group where she's she's she really peaked
a while ago, Um and I think it's Sia. Yeah, Siara, Okay,
(17:30):
I'll say Sierra. I think yeah. If you guys have
a problem with it, email greg Um. But yes, Sierra.
Whenever he's with her, he just looks like way too pleased,
you know what I mean. He looks like I know
he's young, he looks like an old man next to
like Anna Nicole Smith, do you know. I mean, he's
just got this weird grin. He just can't believe his luck.
Just kind of gross. And then you add a full
body Batman costume and he is the biggest dork of
(17:53):
all time. When you cannot look cool and a full
batman costume, that's that's because that's who he is. Sierra
getting some good publicity out of this. You know, she
hasn't had I don't think a lot of hits lately. Necessarily.
If you read the Russell Wilson feature they did about
him in Sports Illustrated, it's him in a bunch of
(18:14):
his college bros from Wisconsin who are all part of
the Russell Wilson management team. And they even call themselves
like his entourage. And one of the guys is like, yeah,
I'm the I'm E, you know, I'm the E of
the entourage and and he and he has a title too.
(18:34):
I forget what it was, but it's some sort of
you know, brand manager of Russell Wilson and Russell. And
it couldn't make Russell Wilson seem less cool or less
likable that I like that. He needs a whole team
to manage to not get laid. Come on, Brandon, I'm
(18:54):
pointed at you. Shot when something gets said that I'm
gonna have to edit out anyways, that's gonna have to
get edited out. We gotta put you by the way, Brandon.
We gotta have your laughter on on the track here.
That would really help because I see you cracking up there.
(19:15):
That way, people will know how how funny we are,
especially me. You know. We also need video because every
every time this little Wayne clip comes on, the dancing
Anthony's showing is really something special for people to see.
The Browns Uh have been in the news quite a
bit their quarterback situation. Josh McCown his shoulder is injured,
(19:40):
may not be able to start this week. That means
they could be forced to go back to Johnny Manziel
only a couple of weeks after an incident where he
was pulled over with his girlfriend. You heard about this,
and so Johnny Manziel in the news. There was an
article in a report from CBS that they don't really
(20:02):
love how he's responded necessarily, or they're a little worried
about how he's responded to this benching. You know, he
lost the starting job when Josh McCown came back. Maybe
hasn't been as hard working and whatnot since then. They
also believe after this latest incident, or they believed for
a while, that the girlfriend of Johnny manziel um isn't
(20:23):
necessarily a positive influence. This is from a national reporter
bothered to report this. By the way, UH reported that
the Browns have been hoping, you know, Manziel would break
up with his girlfriend who's in college and decided to
come live with her. How have they not cut this
guy yet? How they not just been like, screwed this,
He's gone. If you're trying to get your quarterback to
(20:45):
break up with his girlfriend, are you kidding me. He's
got he's got three linebackers coming on him, a hunter
of miles and now and he's you're worried about him
and his girlfriend and cut him. He should do anything
else will be playing football. Edited because it was too
informative about today's NFL. I actually hate I hate the
fact that that his girlfriend even gets brought into this. Yeah,
(21:08):
I'm not trying to sound like a Pollyanna here. Who's
who's you know representing the shield or something. But it
wasn't the greatest police report. You know, when you read
the police report with Johnny Nzel and his girlfriend, my
reaction wasn't like Johnny made better get rid of that girl.
It's like, this guy's a total this guy's a total creep.
And it's for that's such an NFL team view to
(21:29):
be like, well, I gotta get rid of her, she's
the problem. Sure, but think about this, how often have
you ever heard an NFL team be like you should
get rid of that girlfriend and say it publicly. She
must suck like she must be she must have like
three arms or something, and each one of them is
holding a beer for Johnny. Because it's insane for that
to be public knowledge. It's insane. Three armed girl, wasn't
(21:50):
that in a total record? That was? That was something different. Um,
we have different memories about it. Edited for content again,
let's go off sports for a second. That was little Wayne.
Donald Trump is a big little Wayne guy. Um loves
(22:12):
the Magnolia projects in general. All the cash money missed
the cow, all of them. Um. He has been leading
in the polls. We're just gonna go political here. He's
been leading the polls throughout shocking, but Ben Carson has
surged the head of Donald Trump in four different polls
(22:32):
in in Iowa. I saw this pop up and it
just got me thinking, Uh, you're associated a little bit
with Donald Trump. You helped when one I would say,
one of your breakout moments of your career was the
Donald Trump roast, and I just thought maybe you would
have thoughts, you know, on Trump and what that was. Like.
I think it's I mean, it's pretty insane, like watching
(22:54):
the Republicans like in this like lead up so far
is so hilarious to me. It's like it's like when
a wrestler, like a professional wrestler, faces some jobber in
the ring, and the job are like starts to win
a little bit and you're like, oh my god, what's
happening right now? The Washington General's yeah, exactly, they score
a couple puckets. You're wait, are they gonna beat the
Globe triters? Like, of course they aren't. These people are
all insane. Um, I thought Trump was has been pretty hilarious.
(23:16):
My favorite thing he's done so far is when the
thing got leaked that that he started losing the Iowa
polls that someone who had controlled his Twitter did you
see this? Like called Basically it was like, of course
I would think that they're all idiots, and he had
to be like, uh, that's like when it was like
too far for Trump. But that's so funny, like I'm
losing the polls. These morons like they don't get me.
(23:38):
Basically they Yeah, there's a thin line between what Donald
Trump is as a presidential candidate and what you would
be like as a presidential candidate. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty close.
It's pretty close. Hair similar, My hair is awesome. Is
so good looking for a mirror. That's the problem with
this podcast. This is not you don't get to see
my hair. What what was your experience like the old
(24:00):
Donald Trump but it wasn't that the one I went
to uh and Don Marshall our friend and I'm Marshall
drunk way too me. It was a great night. There
was a lot of fun. What was what was your
personal experience with with Trump that night? He was all right,
he was he seemed like not the worst guy. He
shook my hand. I hear doesn't shake hands. He's like
one of these people, doesn't like that, doesn't like the germs.
But he shook my hand. I was like, oh, maybe
(24:22):
he's cool, Like he actually earned my respect that night.
And then like the next day he was like, where's
Obama's birth certificate? And I was like, oh, man, you're crazy.
Edited because we bawled too hard. That's a true story,
and yet you still make that joke in front of me. Yeah, well,
you're the least Jewish person I've ever met in my
entire life. Edited because I damn feel like it. I'm
(24:42):
saying the NFL, he would have been a great coach,
would have made a great coach. That's so I'm saying,
would have been. It would have been a terrific GM.
Ryan Mallett. At last, we cracked ourselves up. None of
that We're leaving as much as possible. Ryan Mallett has
(25:05):
been released this week by the Houston Texans after missing
a team flight on Saturday last week. Let me let me,
let me continue. He said he was stuck in traffic,
and so that was the second time he's been late
to something and they were just sick of sick of
(25:26):
Ryan Mallet. He's no longer on the Texans. I know. See.
I think I love that they wanted to cut him
before the game, but they couldn't didn't have another backup.
I thought that was funny. I like I like billow
Brian for his kind of the Shenanigans. I loved that
the first time he was Lady said he just slept in.
Ryan Mountain was like listen, I alarm clock didn't go off,
which I think is like, look, how dedicated is he
can't even sleep? He's thinking about football so much, you
(25:47):
know what I mean? That's that's like, that's the kind
of guy you want as your quarterback. But he can sleep.
He slept in What does that mean? But he goes
to sleep late because just thinking about the game. Maybe
he goes to sleep late because he had um, well,
I don't even want to go there. But there was
some talk about what what dropped Ryan Mallett in the
in the draft. I don't think it's a huge secret um.
I don't think it was so much a substance that's
puts you to sleep as much as keeps you awake
(26:09):
late at night. Oh really that that might be well.
He went to Arkansas something on something in the water.
He was on are you gonna was it? I'm just
letting the listener put it the coffee. He likes coffee,
likes coffee. He liked coffee. I think I think if
if you, if you want to wake up, I think
all football players and this is like an idea that
I want to try to get sponsored. Is if you
(26:31):
if you're having trouble waking up in the morning, you've
got to get edited. For little Wayne. I mean, nothing
wakes you up quicker. If you need to take a
quick little power not before the game, you're not gonna
You're gonna get the sleep. But not like the r
EM sleep that really kind of like takes over right
and you're not gonna have a deep sleep. You're gonna
be ready to wake up at any time. Wake up.
Guns blazes, what's the dumbest excuse you've ever used, UM
(26:58):
to skip work. My favorite thing about at this was
that the Houston Chronicle when they reported this story, they
said that Ryan Mallett said that he was late because
of nonexistent traffic. That they were just that they didn't
even felt like they needed sources for that. They were
just like, yes, Saturday morning going to the stadium, There's
no way he was second in traffic. Um. I once
(27:22):
I had an excuse. It was so bad that halfway
through a bail that was just like I quit, Like
I re remember I worked at Borders Books. Like, first
of all, I've been fired from every job I've ever had,
and a lot of those jobs I lived with Greg.
For this episode, I think could be Oh, I forget
sure getting fired from this um more just like it'll
get canceled altogether. Like without me, there was no podcast.
(27:44):
Without me, there was no nfl UM. But I was,
I was late. I was. I had this job at
Borders Books at my first job in l and I
was so bored doing this job. And in the mornings
it was the most boring thing ever, like three hours
I had nothing to do, and so I came in
like two hours late, and they were like what, like
what what? How dare you? Like? Why you didn't call us? Why?
(28:04):
Why are you two? I was late and I was
I'd clearly just woken up, and I was like, I
was like, the gas light on my car. I had
to go pick up a friend his car broke down,
and the gas laid on my car isn't working, so
I didn't not I was running out of gas. And
then I ran out of gas and I had to
go and walk and they're just looking at me like
nodding their heads like we don't And I was like,
I don't know why I'm lying to you guys, like
I just I hate this job on board of it.
They're like, okay on the spot, but I would have
(28:28):
been fired either way, edited because Greg outshined me. Do
you know why we went there was because we were
twenty years old and it was the only place on
the island that would serve us exactly, So we went
into the underage drink as opposed to doing our job.
The other last ide of him news for the day,
It's gonna be Jim Harbaugh and uh, just a little
(28:51):
SoundBite from his press conference last week. Jim Harba now
of course coaching Michigan. Just trying to explain. You know,
someone asked him a hypothetical and his answer was, I'm
not into the if this, if that type of scenarios.
If worms had machine guns, then birds wouldn't be scared
of them. That's that was what Jim Harbaugh said to explain,
(29:13):
not answering hypotheticals. I love I love this quote. I
love it's a great quote. Jim Harbaugh such a poet.
I just like the idea of Harbaugh, like standing in
a field where it's like recently reigned and just like
trying to get worms to use these machine guns. He's
got his, He's got his. Uh what does he wear?
(29:35):
He wears like a pullover tucked into the khakis at
all times. Reddist knows in the game. If you've been watching,
if you've been following Michigan football. She doesn't make any sense.
How does this? I mean, does this make sense? It
doesn't make any sense at all, because if first of all,
birds are not scared of worms at all, and then
he's he's giving the worms machine guns and saying that
(29:57):
birds wouldn't be scared of them, like they're already not scared.
Do you think a machine guns is gonna add extra
no fear, I don't think so. We're wes with machine guns.
Actually sounds like a great movie, don't you think? Like
a great sort of like low fi horror movie. That
is the type of movie you'd try to convince me
to go to. If like if like the Bird, if
(30:20):
they did a sequel to Hitchcock's The Birds, and that
was how it ended, Wasn't the worms got machine guns?
Can you imagine if someone just left a machine gun
on the ground? Word when worms learned how to use
like technology. We've been cutting this little than half for forever,
and now they're gonna get their revenge. Be absolutely frightened.
(30:42):
What do you think so far? I think this is
better worse than last week's That was a little way
by the way, get a bed to it. Every time.
I think it's better, um, and last week's is great.
I mean I got a lot of feedback. My mom
um told me she listened to it this morning. Actually
she just found out about it because I didn't want
to tell her. Yeah, um, real quick, of course. Uh,
(31:03):
she just found out about it, and she was smiles
ear to ear great stories, she said, And my dad
as they always listened to your stuff and they're just like,
what a funny, great guy. And I'm like, wow, okay,
that's what you think. That's interesting. She only found out
because my uncle Dave Dr. David Milner Um tweeted at me.
I didn't even know he had a Twitter account and
(31:24):
said that that we have international listeners because he was
listening from Cambodia. He really liked the show. Wow, why
do you gotta do that? Uncle Dave? Such a nice
guy our listen. Uncle Dave's great, but he's not our
(31:44):
listener of the week. Every week we're gonna pick a
listener of the week. I was blown away from the
response that we got on Twitter and on iTunes. A
lot of you left reviews, a lot of you gave
us five stars, which really helps. It puts us up
on the comment. I know Anthony doesn't care about this,
but do it and to you know, tell your friends
(32:05):
subscribe because it helps and it will help keep this
show going. Otherwise I think it'll just it'll just get canceled.
This is the only promotion we're getting. But but the
real listener of the week that that stood out, I
don't know what his name is. But his handle is
great Hojita, which is a good handle. And he tweeted
at us that he got into a major car accident
(32:29):
listening to your podcast with Anthony jessel Nick, and he said,
I'm okay. I finished the episode later. That's dedication. I
love I love the Caitlyn General listens to our podcast.
I think it's great. I think it's cool that that
she has the great uh djeta as a as a thing.
Listen if you if you're in your car right now
listening to this, going to the other land, So what happens,
(32:51):
you know what I mean, just kind of let it
drift and uh. And if when you run into someone
whoever survives, tell him about this podcast. Well that's the
thing is if this became our thing, getting into accidents
while you listen to our podcast, that would be amazing publicity.
There's no there's no other way we're going to really
get this thing going. But people would write some articles
about the podcast that keeps causing accidents, all publicities, good publicity,
(33:17):
and and it would just get out there. It would
be an an epidemic. I even I even sent you know,
I was really impressed with Great Hohita. You know, I
sent it back. I said, I hope it was worth it.
I hope it was worth the accident, and he says
it was. It happened on the ten, uh, the Interstate ten,
just past the Arizona border, So that was pretty crunk.
Like that is I like he's using the lingo. That's nice. Um.
(33:38):
I just like, you know, if you listen to it
right now, close your eyes, take your hands off the wheel,
and just see what happens. Were able to tweets Greg letter,
We'll talk to you the next week. Don't do that.
We're not We're not responsible for any of that. What
are some other what are some other reactions? Greg? Go
through your favorites. All right, let's go through a few.
By the way, we used to drive on the ten
(33:58):
past the Arizona border, back and forth New Orleans. Yeah,
we saw the thing once. You made me go to
see the thing when we were driving back to New
Orleans because we were so bored. It was pretty scary.
Some favorite reactions. A lot of them were just you know,
really telling us, you know, please don't let the NFL
(34:19):
cancel us. You know, they hope they keeps going, which
was very nice. Edited because I talked about Greg Hardy
way too much. All right? Now the final one, Uh,
this one's from Nate Muzzy. I like this one saying
shot it's called Shadowy League clowns. Anthony and Greg are awesome,
but whatever empty suit didn't laugh needs to go on
a Caribbean vacation to get his or horror groove back
(34:41):
because clearly the stress has destroyed their personality. Wow. I
like how still I kind of groove back reference. That's
not something you see a lot like. I just like
the Shadowy leak out. So keep keep um sending comments
to us or sending tweets. We love it, and we'll
we'll mention a few each week. And you know, we
should have our own Twitter hand. We should have our
own We can do that. It sounds like a lot
(35:03):
of work. I don't know. You'll run that, right, Anthony, yea, yeah,
I love. They would not let me anywhere near it.
All right, let's uh, let's go to that way. That
was Little Wayne, Little Wayne. Initially that that's the Fireman
off of really his probably his worst LP, but good song,
(35:27):
decent song, big fan a Little Wayne. I I set
that one up because I wanted him to introduce our
hottest hot take of the week, and I just thought
we would find one hot take this week, um, each
week if if we can find one that that make
a lot of sense. First, yeah, just to give you
an idea of kind of the hot takes that that
we're thinking of. Trent It really I was thinking of
(35:48):
one from early last season that that stuck out to me.
This is Trent Dilford when you're in Patriots, let's face
if they're not good anymore. I love that one that
was after a week Week four. I'm just the Patriots homer.
I mean saying that when everyone was saying that that
wasn't just I wasn't saying that that's insane. There were
two and two. Um this week I had to go
(36:09):
to the Greg Hardy situation. A lot of dumb hot
takes on this. Stephen A. Smith said, I completely uh.
This was one tweet from Steven A. Smith. I completely
support Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys having Hardy on
the team. What side are you on? It's so it's
hilarious to me how people want to go out and
like defend this. Scott. You have to do is say nothing.
(36:29):
I have to be Stephen Smith could have been like,
you know what, I don't know. I don't know what
they're doing over there, And that would have been fine
to be like I support Like why do you support it?
Why would you ever support? Uh? Either one of those people,
Jerry Jones or or Greg Hardy. Well, not only did
they say they support it, and they tried to explain
it away like, oh, yeah, well, he's just being a leader.
(36:51):
That's the type of passion that we want. Uh, you know,
that's that's what we're looking for. And I've heard other
people go, well, that's football, you know, you gotta let football.
If other players did that, it would be fine. Really,
if other players slapped the playbook out of the coach
and the coach shoved him on the field, when does
that ever happen? If Aaron Rodgers did that, they would
be like Aaron Rodgers lost his mind? Like what was
(37:13):
he thinking? What was going on? It's crazy that you
would defend this. Your your prior record has to matter.
Greg Hardy seems crazy, But it almost feels like like
Stephen A. Smith when he sends that out. It's just trolling.
I mean, I guess that's obvious, but he's just trying
to annoy everyone as much as gregor you know, Greg
(37:34):
Hardy seems to annoy everyone, which that's I guess part
of his stick. But it feels like the Cowboys are
doing that. They literally said, I don't know if you
know this in response to this that they want to
sign them to a long term contract. The Cowboys, like
if they lose in like an entertaining way, like if
they lose in something crazy way you talked about them
all week, they're like just as happy as if they win,
(37:56):
Like they really are entertainment more than like a real
actual sports team. To me, it's crazy to say to
support this guy as hard as they have been, Like
what would if if they wanted to sign him to
a long term contract after doing that, Like, what what
would he have to do to be put into the
ring of honor? Yeah, we would he have to like
block their like where they're linning up for field goal
(38:18):
and he runs on the field and blocks it, And
they'd be like, well, you know what, he's just fired
up out there. If we're not allowed to do that, Greg,
and he cost us three points, Like he's a leader,
just like you know, light the team's airplane on fire
before they before they leave town like this guy's great
put him in, putting him in the Ring of Honor. Well,
I think what would the what's obvious here is that
Stephen A. Smith is a heavy investor in Greg Hardy's.
(38:41):
But was that again his cereal or something? No, it's
it's a bet. It's a little little that it's like
it's kind of like serta, only it's just full of um.
That way you don't sleep too deep. We're gonna have
to get some other little segment intros. But this segment
(39:04):
it's called ask Anthony, Greg pick a few of these
what story? Uh this is from Jordan's White What story
does Greg remember but not Anthony? Hashtag r j VP.
I like the the hashtag r j VP kind of
reminds me of like Alien versus Predator. There's very few
things I would remember that Anthony doesn't. Although I have
(39:25):
a terrible memory, your memory is just nine. I have
no memory. In theory. There was a lot of blackout
moments that you had, uh ten years ago, but I
don't really remember them either. Um. One side of things,
they do remember one day junior year where I heard
the phone ringing at five or six in the morning,
(39:47):
and you couldn't remember this because you were not in
the room and the phone just kept ringing at six
in the morning, and I was like, why is the phone,
you know, ringing like it was a really late night,
crazy things, and I just refused to pick it up.
So there's no way you could remember that. Okay, I'll
say this. I remember that I was in jail and
(40:09):
I was I was calling, trying to get you answer
the phone. I only in college. I only knew a
few phone numbers, yours was one of them, and I
knew you had your own line, so that I knew
the phone was right next to your bed, and that
you were in bed and you were purposely not answering it,
and that you knew you knew the only reason someone
would call you over and over again that early in
the morning, as if they were in jail. I didn't
(40:30):
know that. I did not know you knew what you
just did not want to have to wake up and
go bail me out because I had been arrested two
weeks earlier. I was, well, that's true, I was smart
enough to not call you when I was there. I
think I think I called someone more responsible. Wasn't my
jail the same time as you jail once together there
was we went to I went to jail twice in
two weeks. The first time I could put this on
(40:51):
with my my boss is listening to the first time
I got it was very hard, Moorlands strung tank. I
ran into like five of my friends, which was hilarious.
And now we didn't go together. We didn't go together.
What did you go for? I think I called Jamie
osher or rogging because they had cars and they were
actually was Connor. I remember Connor would call yeah, because
what would you What did you go to jail for? Uh?
(41:12):
It was disturbing the peace after yes, the fight, I
had nothing that that'll be another podcast. We are going
way way too long, um edited to keep your interest. Yeah,
I think you wouldn't. You would have more fun, but
you would be You would as soon as you came
(41:32):
back in your own body, you would be like, oh
my god, this is my life. Is not horrible like
I would. I could ruin your life in twenty four hours. No,
I couldn't really do that much damage to mind. Now,
I would have a blast, and I would do it
for a month or whatever a year. If I knew
I could go back. Maybe not a year, that's it's
very too long. Um. I would. I would do it
(41:53):
because you know, you don't have anything to do right now,
you're working on your show. Um, but it would just
be nice to kind of, you know, be out in
your Hollywood apartment and hanging out, going out at night
like that. Just it almost sounds like vacation. Here's what
I would guarantee if I if it was on the
table right now, we could switch places forever. You would
do it in a heartbeat. I would. You would, absolutely everyone,
(42:14):
anyone that's that true. They the emptiness when I had
to you know, the the emptiness with which would come
over be after a little while when I was in
your body would would be a problematic. You know what
I mean. I have two children and we joke about
it a lot, but it's like the they're the best
two things that ever happened to me at that like
(42:36):
they knowing having known that sort of happiness, and then um,
being thrust into your sort of shallow happiness. It would
be it would be really tough to deal with. I
would leave visit your kids. Okay, now it's time for predictions.
(43:00):
Last week we did uh We did a special game
called Crunk or Funky Funky Fresh where I went through
different matchups and then really predict it would win. I
just predicted whether the matchup would be crunk or funky
funky Fresh or somewhere in between. People really responded to that.
People really on board. Uh. We talked about like this week,
should we do that again with these matchups we mix
(43:21):
it up. My vote was to just do it again,
a double down and just go. But then I looked
at the matchups. You know what, they aren't really either one.
They haven't really fall into the category of funky Funky
Fresh or crunk. And I I went through with a
fine tooth comb and a magnifying glass and I couldn't
really find it. So why don't you just Greg, just
give me, give me some different storylines. We either some
(43:44):
matchups or give me some stories from this coming week.
And like your memory of I feel like the memory
of the reaction to the Crunk or Funky Funky Fresh
segment feels a little skewed. How do you think? I mean?
I got a tweet that said, uh, you can cut
out the last been to the podcast. Other than that,
it was pretty good that guy's not a fan. That
guy doesn't know what's up. There was a lot of
(44:05):
a lot of that, like great podcast until the Funky
Funky refreshtion. A lot of people really liked it. People
said that it's kind of similar to a lot of
a lot of things, but you like the I want
people to love me and hate me. If everyone just
kind of likes you, like I'm sure your podcast with
your with the kids that you do. I bet that's uh.
I've been people like it. I bet no one loves
it or hates it. People love it. People love it.
(44:25):
We just had a meet up in London and people
showed up to that international All right, let's I totally
ruined your set up for this segment. Um, you can
really touch me that you have some sources, right, yeah,
I've got sources all over the league. I mean now
that I'm behind the shield, now that exists behind the shield,
(44:47):
then I kind of the world opens up to you
in a different way. So we thought we would we
would take advantage of those sources. Go through each game,
and you will tell tell us what your sources are
are telling us. All right, let's start with what I
think is the best game of the season so far,
Broncos Packers. Um, what are your sources telling you about
(45:11):
Peyton Manning's future up in the air right now? With
his early struggles, you know, I think it's gonna be
Peyton Manning's last year. I can't see him coming back
for another one. My sources tell me that he's kind
of getting his money together. He's gonna invest. He's gonna
invest with Tom Brady's body guru, that guy who is
up to nothing but good and good things. That two
(45:31):
of them are going to invest heavily into Greg Hardy's
I think people are gonna be like, in a couple
of years, gonna be like, did you know that? Uh?
Do you know Greg Hardy's You know he used to
play football. That's how people will know Peyton Manning. You know,
the greatest regular season quarterback ever. You know, his brother
won two Super Bowls. Let's talk Bengals Steelers. Big game
(45:53):
in the a f C North year. Steelers gotta be
a little nervous. Ben Roethlisberger likely to return for this game.
They have to win or the a f C North
is over. They'd be four games back. They there's no
way they're gonna win the division. This is a game
they have to get. What are your sources telling you
(46:14):
about this game? And my sources tell me that the
students are kind of overmatched. You know, the Bengals are
planned on all cylinders. They're really doing well. Dalton's having
a great, great season so far. But because this game
is going to have a playoff atmosphere, the Banks are
gonna lose by thirty five points and Dalton will have
a hundred interceptions. That's what sources a hundred. How would
(46:36):
your sources be so involved that they actually know what's
gonna go and gonna happen in the game. I'm not
gonna reveal my sources. I just wanted to dance a
little bit Seahawks and Cowboys, getting everyone thinking about that
(46:56):
playoff game from almost a decade ago where Tony Romo
Bob Bold the snap. Tony Romo will not play in
this game, but Dez Bryant might. His status up in
the air this week. What do your sources tell you
about desert status? Does Brian status my sources went on
his Facebook page? Does Briant is single? Terri's the coroner?
(47:25):
That was a little way. What do I why do
my other notes. Listening to the podcast was like col
Anthony when his jokes are terrible column, it was a
great that made me laugh so hard. Finally, um, I'm
really excited about this game. The Carolina Panthers and the
Indianapolis Colts. What a matchup. I mean, the Indianapolis Colts
(47:49):
are struggling. One of the most surprising stories of the year.
So many people expected Andrew Luck to be an m
VP candidate this year. Instead, he hasn't been a top
twenty quarterback. I mean, he is hurting them right now.
And to me, this is a game that's fascinating because
he's facing what I think is really the other best
(48:10):
quarterback under thirty years old, Cam Newton. So it's kind
of the two young guns for the first time. They're
facing off. Chuck Pogano is on the hot seat. The
Carolina Panthers are undefeated, They're the team that could be
going to the super Bowl. There's a it's a huge
build up to this game, Anthony, What are your sources
telling you about Panthers Colts? Greg They tell me it's
(48:34):
gonna be crunk. I can't believe their second episode this
is it feels it feels like an anniversary. It feels
special this Uh, it's way too much like your your
(48:55):
old boss, Jimmy Fallon just sitting there cracking up at
its own jokes. The Little Time. Yep, it's very much
like that, but mine jokes are great, and I have
a podcast Fallon. Uh and that was Anthony's sources, that
(49:16):
was little Wayne. Alright, Greg, let's wrap this puppy up.
Let's get on a positive note. How we haven't talked
about them yet? How are my god children? How are
Ellis and Walker? That's right? Um? No, I know, like
last week, you know it was. It was cool, unbelievable
Welcome back to the Rosenthal and jessel Nick Vanity Project, Anthony.
They said we wouldn't make it to episode two. Suck
it through a straw. Oh, we are back. That's Fetti Wapp.
(00:24):
We contracted him to play our intro song. He's a
huge fan of Anthony and myself. Thanks Fetty, thanks for
the help. This is the Rosenthal and jessel Nick Vanity Project.
Thank you to everyone who subscribed and downloaded and sent
us nice things. And everyone was saying, you know, they
were worried we wouldn't be back for the second episode.
(00:44):
But here we are. Anthony. Yeah, I notice everyone to
the Greg is thanking you for subscribing, for giving your
feedback and listening. I don't really care, yeah, care so
much about about what goes on here. I'm kind of
just here to hang up with my friend Greg. I
can pretty much tell that by your lack of promotion
for the podcast and in general lack of interest, like
will you ever listen to our podcast? I don't listen
(01:06):
to things. Um, I did you know, man, I don't
have to listen to it. I was here when it happened,
and I don't even really I don't really watch things
that I do. I don't watch myself on TV. I
just do it. And then I collected a check. That's
fair to your job. Well, how do you think the
first one? You know you were here for the first one.
I think I went the same. I mean, I think
that it's gonna get better every single week. You know,
(01:27):
I think you were crazy nervous, uh, and like just
super unprepared. But you know, I think I all through
through over my shoulders and carried you around like a fireman.
I've got I've got some sources. And speaking of which,
you've got some sources coming up later in the show.
We're gonna we're gonna do that. We're gonna go over
some headlines are world famous weekly predictions. Now we're gonna
(01:48):
bring that back where we got our listener of the week.
We're gonna look at some of the tweets you guys
sent us. We have our hot take of the week.
Um oh, listen to that Little Wayne. That was little Wayne,
little way, Little Wayne? Uh? Is this did I remember
(02:09):
this right? Didn't juvenile once knock on our friend Roggin's
door in college by mistake like he was looking for
his girlfriend. It was not a mistake. He were corructed
by this sophomore year of college at two Lane and
week before school started, we're having a party and juvenile
just came over. I think it was at his girlfriend's
house next door. One of his many girlfriends knocked on
the door, and we had no idea who he was,
(02:29):
and he kept holding up his chain going he didn't know,
he had no idea. That's the part i'd have going
cash money, cash money, Like who is this guy? What
does cash money mean? And then someone's like, that's juvenile
and we let him use the phone. I see, I
would have known because cash money at that point where
essentially like we were like living in Liverpool when the
Beatles started. In terms of our time in New Orleans,
(02:49):
I mean, cash money could not have been more popular.
They were so popular. They had knockoff bands that would
copy their songs. Shake It Like a Dog was one
where they copied back that asked him and the and
the knockoff bands were popular. Yeah, yeah, I remember this.
It was amazing. How was the biggest song that ever
was created? How it was huge? Back that thing up,
I use the edited version. I didn't realize let's go,
(03:12):
let's let's let's move on a little bit. We can
come back now let's just talk about cash money. We
can come back to stories. But I didn't realize after
the podcast we got some complaints. People said, you guys
sounded edited. They're not letting ants, Anthony. Here's my philosophy
on this is that again, like I'm just here to
hang out with my friend Greg behind the shield, behind
(03:32):
the shield and all the protection that it entails. But
also there are things that come with that, Like I
didn't know we're not allowed to swear. I thought usually
on podcasts you can can't swear for the Shield everywhere
we go. I think of what Roger Goodell says, if
you're an NFL employee like me, everywhere you go, you're
representing the Shield. I'm like a walking NFL insignia. I
mean I've been representing the Shield my whole life. I
(03:52):
feel like you know what I mean, just just in
terms of what the league stands for. So, yes, they
did have to cut out a lot of the show. People, Uh,
we're upset about that. They were saying they want the
uncut version. That's never gonna there is no one cut version.
Like we knew doing this, they we're gonna have to
cut it up. But my promise to you, I promised
to you the listeners, is that I will go back
through each episode afterwards and I will explain what got
(04:14):
cut out, and then if that gets cut out the
next week, I will have to explain that again. It
will be very meta and it will just be an
interesting take to see kind of what we what we
went for, and a lot of it's just things like
I said in the moment or Greg said in the
moment um. But let me go through last week's episode
and tell you what we cut. We cut like five
or six things. First of all, any time I swore
(04:34):
we had to cut, which was a shame, um, because
I'm good at it. You know, I really hit the
I really hit that when I want to do it.
It's a it's good for me. Um. We we cut
a breast cancer reference talking about Ironhead, Heyward. Um, I
kind of made a reference to the fact that, uh,
they don't let you talk about you know, your your
dad who died from brain cancer, but it was breast cancer.
(04:57):
But they won't even really let you do that edited
because it was too funny. Um. Another thing that got
cut uh from the show that was not breast cancer related.
We had it. We had a question which team do
we hate? Which teams we love to see kind of suffer?
I had picked the uh, the the Ravens, Suji Pick,
I don't even remember. Oh, the Giants, the Giants. Yeah,
(05:17):
but it was just boring, Yeah it was. It wasn't interesting.
That's what we cut. It wasn't for contents. Uh. Then
we moved on that. We had a question about Big
Ben with Big Ben would Greg, would you let Big
Ben watch your children? Uh? And actually that was you.
You stepped over the line and made a joke about
Ben's past. Well, yeah, yeah, you're not allowed to talk
about Ben's past if you work for the NFL. He's
(05:38):
one of our he's one of our important guys. Yeah,
And I mean I think you should have known that. Like,
I would never make a joke about Ben's past like that,
unless you're talking about his Super Bowl rings. I would
talk about that all day. Um. But but yeah, that
got cut because of Greg. And then again this last
one here was because of Greg. We talked about Playboy
for a little bit and how Playboy, um is uh
(05:58):
is not gonna show? I mean I more and you
went off on kind of like a rant about pornography
that made me uncomfortable, to be quite honest, like I
was like, I didn't pick that up. Was that emotion?
I was like, cut this, cut this, Like you're a
married man. Maybe maybe we're playing against type here. You're
supposed to be the bad boy of comedy and but
who's getting cut out more of this show me or you?
(06:20):
It's you? Maybe it really shows who's got it. I
could be that maybe on the bad boy of NFL podcasters.
I think you're like the bad boy of aesthetics to
what I mean, Like, that's like why a lot of
the stuff gets cut. But again, I'm wearing some pretty
sweet purple slacks right now. You are dressed for the office.
I'm dressed for the comedy club. That was actually not
the last thing that was cut you. I want to
(06:43):
I want to go a little further into you talking
about porn. I just think that it was It wasn't
so much like what you said. It was like who
you were saying it about, edited for being overly crunk.
So that wait, wait, there was one other thing that
we cut. Oh yeah, you didn't even remember your your
long insane profanity. I used tirade about her Edwards view
on climate change. That was in there. That was little Wayne.
(07:14):
Anthony just wants to you to live out his dream
to be a radio host. Let's uh, let's go through. Actually,
let's talk a little bit about what happened in the
last week of our lives and so you know it
show is gonna be a little bit about us. We're
definitely gonna talk a lot about football. Headlines are coming
up next and we got a lot of good ones.
But that's a lot of little Wayne, A little heavy
(07:37):
on the little way in there, Brandon. Uh, that was
a little Wayne. The I just wanted to catch up
quickly with you over what happened with you. I don't
get to see you as much as I would like.
It's busy during the NFL season year. Of course, the
godfather god parents to both my children. Another week where
you didn't give him any gifts or see them at all. Uh,
what what have you been up to over the last week?
(07:59):
Your specials out on Netflix? You're kind of off the
road after a big three or four months on the
road to what is happening? Specials on Netflix? Still getting
good press. You saw the latest article that was the
happiest I've ever been to say. That's right. There was
an article with the title, and I'm recalling this from memory.
Anthony jessel Nick is the greatest comedian of all time.
(08:22):
Anthony Justin is the greatest comic who has ever lived.
That's that's pretty amazing. If you don't believe it, google it,
Google it. It's all about how great I am because
I make fun of tragedies and most people don't. You're
supposed to be a clown in the face of a tragedy.
So you were excited. But I mean, I've been hearing
this from you for a long time. In fact, in
your special you call yourself the greatest comic. I say
I'm a comedy god, and that is that is certainly true.
(08:44):
I dwarf everyone else. Anyone else who holds a microphone
is an embarrassment to the art form. So did you? Uh?
Any shows? I did? I went? I I did Carson
Daily at a spotting Carson Daily this week, my fourth
time on Carson Daily and my career. Just let you
know how well that's going. Uh. So you just like
sit and talk to a producer. Carson's not even there.
Carson doesn't care that's awkward. It's it's no. It's actually
(09:07):
pretty easy because you don't have to worry about you,
like I know they're gonna cut this if it's not good.
You just sit there for half an hour and some
producer like asked you how great you are? Skipped out
on doing Seth Meyers the other week you were still.
I had to cancel. I had. I had to cancel
Seth Meyers because of travel things, but I would have
loved to have been their sets of friend. Yeah, we're
he's from Pittsburgh. We talked. We talked Steelers when I
was on when I worked in thirty Rock on Follon
(09:27):
you opened for everybodyse Garfunkle notes I want my friends.
Garfunkle notes a guitar and ukulele comedy band um that
they call themselves musical comedy, as I refer to it
as music. Not a big musical comedy fan. But they're
dear friends of mine. So I went to Seattle and
open for them, and it was funny because it was
like all these like young girls like in their audience
and they have no idea who I am. So I
(09:48):
would I go on stage and be like, what do
you talk. I got a thousand times more famous than
Garfunkle Notes, but they didn't care. They were just like, what,
who were you? And they didn't even know about that.
I was in one episode of Garfunkle Notes where I
get up. It's not earlier audience maybe the musical comedy.
What is the worst audience that you've ever had in
terms of that you were just not the fit for it.
(10:09):
I know casinos are a disaster. Sometimes, No casinos aren't bad.
I mean not at this point. Now, I'm famous enough
that if i'm if I'm the top of the bill,
then you know what you're getting. I've done casinos where
it might be a little weird, but people are into
it where they get there. Um. The worst thing that
I can remember recently last summer, I was in Ireland
doing a festival in Dublin and they put me like.
(10:29):
I had a couple of shows where I headlined and
those were great, but they have one where I opened
for this guy and this guy was like, I forget
his name. I would compare him to like a Ryan
Seacrest type kind of like a like an MTV VJ
sort of thing where like young girls love him. He's
like kind of not corny, but like close to corny
and just very like friendly comedy. You know. He makes
(10:49):
one of Justin Bieber and like breaks down the song
baby the opposite of you because young girls hate you. Yes,
young girls are not. Even my daughter still won't hug
you hugged me. That's a true story. I got a
high five every once in a while. Hugs everyone else
really gonna now that I thought, it was like, that's
not true. She's not a very she hugs her parents,
but she's she's selected with she's going to give her love.
(11:12):
I like that because I don't want her to be
some kind of hug who's running around throwing hugs out
left and right. Like I think when she's at the
right age and she can appreciate my comedy and what
I've done for her comedically, then she'll start hugging to
be twenty years Yeah, but this Joe in Dublin, I walked.
It was maybe a thousand people in this is a tent,
and I walked four hundred of them, no joke, like
there was a smoke machine, walked and they left. They left,
(11:34):
They got up and left and drove in the street.
There and there was a smoke machine where like just
to make it the place look better, I guess, and
they start pumping the smoke out so that there were
things that I wouldn't be able to see people leaving
if they just had too much smoke. So then I'm
like yelling at the smoke machine guy and I'm like,
just get me through this. I do half an hour.
People were furious, like someone screamed out, you should be ashamed,
(11:56):
and I like, I started laughing so hard after one
of my jokes. And then this guy comes on who
they're all waiting for. But even though they were waiting
for him, I had ruined the crowd so hard it
was like I had personally slapped them all on the face.
And this poor bastard came out and was just like
close to weeping when he took the mic from me,
was like, thank you, Anthony, and then just bombed his
face off for the next hour. That's great. You must
have good about that. I did. I did. I thought
(12:17):
it was hilarious. You know what I was thinking to
see what I asked this question. Immediately thought you told
me that story about your show at Marshall recently where
you decided it would be a good idea to make
a Marshall plane crash joke in the middle of your
setup at Marshall. Several of them at Marshall. They were
not happy. It was one of those jokes where everyone
started talking to each other like I was. I was
talking to a girl in the front row and uh,
(12:40):
and this girl says, um, I'm like, oh, what do
you do for a living? So I work here at
the university. I work from Marshall. I'm in the athletic department.
And I said, oh, what does that mean? You just
make funeral arrangements? And and people just started talking. They
were like really upset. And then I got them back
and it was fine. And at the end of my
seid I do a thing about like why I make
fun of tragedies like that, and people kind of plotted
(13:00):
after that. But then I had to go into a
meet and greet right to meet these people in the audience,
which I never do. I always wanted to, like just
get out of them. You don't like meeting people in general, No,
not after especially if they performed like leave me alone.
Um A kind of sweaty and eyed, like my my
head's going to million miles an hour. But I go
to meet these people and everyone was like, you shouldn't
have made that joke, like that was very funny, thank
you for coming. You shouldn't made that joke. And I
was like, well, that's what I do when they go
no, no no, no, you shouldn't have made that joke here
(13:23):
and I looked at all them, I was like, where
the hell else am I gonna make this joke. It's
Marshall or nowhere, Like no one else is like, hey,
remember that plane crash in the seventies that happened in
a different school. Let's talk about that for the that
was your chance. You had to grab grab the bass ring.
I remember last last week when I I did really
listen to the show, most of it. I um, I
stopped at the crunk Crunker, funky Fresh segment. I was
(13:46):
just like, I can't, I can't really listen to this.
But what one of the notes I sent to myself
was get to football a little faster. And here we are,
uh And I didn't take my note at all. We
need we need some sort of excuse for the this
to be on NFL media, So let's do some NFL headlines. Brandon,
(14:11):
that was a little Wayne. We had a whole different
headline song too. I was gonna have ready, But now
Anthony is totally over ridden the production plan and has
insisted we play Little Wayne as much as possible that
one clip throughout the show. Maybe we'll change the clip
each show. People can send us up and then we
won't listen to him because Anthony's just gonna go with
(14:32):
Black Rob next week. All right, let's talk uh some football.
Jason Pierre Paul that this was a big story, breaking news.
I wrote the story, Anthony. I don't know if you
read it. Of course, did you read any Do you
ever read anything on NFL dot Com that I read?
I support your comedy go you know, watch the special
go to you on show sometimes. Yeah, but my stuff
is funny on purpose, you know what I mean. Jason
(14:55):
Pierre Paul. He of course had the fireworks accident July fourth,
one of two NFL players to have a big fireworks
acts and the other one on the Buccaneers. His career
is over. JPP is so good though he can play
with less fingers. He has resigned with the Giants. He's
gonna start practicing and he will be back on the
field within a couple of weeks, he could make up
(15:15):
to eight point seven million dollars this year. Anthony, you
know what I heard. I heard that it wasn't an accident.
I tell you that. Yeah, he was like, check this out.
Uh did the old magic trick of how many fingers?
How many fingers am I blowing up? Um? My? My
thing about Jason Pierre Paul, I love him. I think
it's hilarious that he lost a bunch of fingers and
(15:36):
then just like the way he acted after that is great.
What will be awesome if once he starts playing, every
time he gets a sack, they shoot off fireworks. I
mean kind of like when they had like them in
the Buccaneers school and they have like the Jolly Roger going.
If they just like do like just way too many
fireworks every time he gets to say if he if
he comes up with some fireworks themes sack celebration where
he just exploding afterwards, or he definitely just waves his
(15:59):
finger at everyone used to say, uh, yeah, Jess Pierre Paul,
how good is that that you can play with three?
Would you play? You're good enough to play with less fingers? Yeah,
but only like as a defensive player. You know what
I mean, if he was like if he was like,
you know, if you played any other position he was
a center, he wouldn't be as good. It's true. But
(16:22):
if you want to be like, hey, Jason, who's number one,
he's the guy, it's not gonna work. He said he was.
I know, I was trying to think he was. He
said he was feeling after this whole break, you know,
the way from football. He's feeling much younger, you know
what I mean, like young, definitely lighter. Um Russell Wilson.
This week, moving on to another headline, UH that was
(16:46):
in the news, Russell Wilson dressed up as Batman uh
for his girlfriend crs birthday, her thirtieth birthday. He was
somehow able to organize a birthday in which Serena Williams
showed up Beyonce a whole lot of people. She was
dressed up as some sort of superhero as well. Your
(17:07):
your thoughts on the whole Russell Wilson experience going on here.
I think it's hilarious to me to see Russell Russell
Wilson any picture he's with Sierra Sierra cr I don't know,
we're showing our age Brandon, like, what is the I
don't even know. Does she sing something, Sierra? I've heard both.
She in a group where she's she's she really peaked
a while ago, Um and I think it's Sia. Yeah, Siara, Okay,
(17:30):
I'll say Sierra. I think yeah. If you guys have
a problem with it, email greg Um. But yes, Sierra.
Whenever he's with her, he just looks like way too pleased,
you know what I mean. He looks like I know
he's young, he looks like an old man next to
like Anna Nicole Smith, do you know. I mean, he's
just got this weird grin. He just can't believe his luck.
Just kind of gross. And then you add a full
body Batman costume and he is the biggest dork of
(17:53):
all time. When you cannot look cool and a full
batman costume, that's that's because that's who he is. Sierra
getting some good publicity out of this. You know, she
hasn't had I don't think a lot of hits lately. Necessarily.
If you read the Russell Wilson feature they did about
him in Sports Illustrated, it's him in a bunch of
(18:14):
his college bros from Wisconsin who are all part of
the Russell Wilson management team. And they even call themselves
like his entourage. And one of the guys is like, yeah,
I'm the I'm E, you know, I'm the E of
the entourage and and he and he has a title too.
(18:34):
I forget what it was, but it's some sort of
you know, brand manager of Russell Wilson and Russell. And
it couldn't make Russell Wilson seem less cool or less
likable that I like that. He needs a whole team
to manage to not get laid. Come on, Brandon, I'm
(18:54):
pointed at you. Shot when something gets said that I'm
gonna have to edit out anyways, that's gonna have to
get edited out. We gotta put you by the way, Brandon.
We gotta have your laughter on on the track here.
That would really help because I see you cracking up there.
(19:15):
That way, people will know how how funny we are,
especially me. You know. We also need video because every
every time this little Wayne clip comes on, the dancing
Anthony's showing is really something special for people to see.
The Browns Uh have been in the news quite a
bit their quarterback situation. Josh McCown his shoulder is injured,
(19:40):
may not be able to start this week. That means
they could be forced to go back to Johnny Manziel
only a couple of weeks after an incident where he
was pulled over with his girlfriend. You heard about this,
and so Johnny Manziel in the news. There was an
article in a report from CBS that they don't really
(20:02):
love how he's responded necessarily, or they're a little worried
about how he's responded to this benching. You know, he
lost the starting job when Josh McCown came back. Maybe
hasn't been as hard working and whatnot since then. They
also believe after this latest incident, or they believed for
a while, that the girlfriend of Johnny manziel um isn't
(20:23):
necessarily a positive influence. This is from a national reporter
bothered to report this. By the way, UH reported that
the Browns have been hoping, you know, Manziel would break
up with his girlfriend who's in college and decided to
come live with her. How have they not cut this
guy yet? How they not just been like, screwed this,
He's gone. If you're trying to get your quarterback to
(20:45):
break up with his girlfriend, are you kidding me. He's
got he's got three linebackers coming on him, a hunter
of miles and now and he's you're worried about him
and his girlfriend and cut him. He should do anything
else will be playing football. Edited because it was too
informative about today's NFL. I actually hate I hate the
fact that that his girlfriend even gets brought into this. Yeah,
(21:08):
I'm not trying to sound like a Pollyanna here. Who's
who's you know representing the shield or something. But it
wasn't the greatest police report. You know, when you read
the police report with Johnny Nzel and his girlfriend, my
reaction wasn't like Johnny made better get rid of that girl.
It's like, this guy's a total this guy's a total creep.
And it's for that's such an NFL team view to
(21:29):
be like, well, I gotta get rid of her, she's
the problem. Sure, but think about this, how often have
you ever heard an NFL team be like you should
get rid of that girlfriend and say it publicly. She
must suck like she must be she must have like
three arms or something, and each one of them is
holding a beer for Johnny. Because it's insane for that
to be public knowledge. It's insane. Three armed girl, wasn't
(21:50):
that in a total record? That was? That was something different. Um,
we have different memories about it. Edited for content again,
let's go off sports for a second. That was little Wayne.
Donald Trump is a big little Wayne guy. Um loves
(22:12):
the Magnolia projects in general. All the cash money missed
the cow, all of them. Um. He has been leading
in the polls. We're just gonna go political here. He's
been leading the polls throughout shocking, but Ben Carson has
surged the head of Donald Trump in four different polls
(22:32):
in in Iowa. I saw this pop up and it
just got me thinking, Uh, you're associated a little bit
with Donald Trump. You helped when one I would say,
one of your breakout moments of your career was the
Donald Trump roast, and I just thought maybe you would
have thoughts, you know, on Trump and what that was. Like.
I think it's I mean, it's pretty insane, like watching
(22:54):
the Republicans like in this like lead up so far
is so hilarious to me. It's like it's like when
a wrestler, like a professional wrestler, faces some jobber in
the ring, and the job are like starts to win
a little bit and you're like, oh my god, what's
happening right now? The Washington General's yeah, exactly, they score
a couple puckets. You're wait, are they gonna beat the
Globe triters? Like, of course they aren't. These people are
all insane. Um, I thought Trump was has been pretty hilarious.
(23:16):
My favorite thing he's done so far is when the
thing got leaked that that he started losing the Iowa
polls that someone who had controlled his Twitter did you
see this? Like called Basically it was like, of course
I would think that they're all idiots, and he had
to be like, uh, that's like when it was like
too far for Trump. But that's so funny, like I'm
losing the polls. These morons like they don't get me.
(23:38):
Basically they Yeah, there's a thin line between what Donald
Trump is as a presidential candidate and what you would
be like as a presidential candidate. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty close.
It's pretty close. Hair similar, My hair is awesome. Is
so good looking for a mirror. That's the problem with
this podcast. This is not you don't get to see
my hair. What what was your experience like the old
(24:00):
Donald Trump but it wasn't that the one I went
to uh and Don Marshall our friend and I'm Marshall
drunk way too me. It was a great night. There
was a lot of fun. What was what was your
personal experience with with Trump that night? He was all right,
he was he seemed like not the worst guy. He
shook my hand. I hear doesn't shake hands. He's like
one of these people, doesn't like that, doesn't like the germs.
But he shook my hand. I was like, oh, maybe
(24:22):
he's cool, Like he actually earned my respect that night.
And then like the next day he was like, where's
Obama's birth certificate? And I was like, oh, man, you're crazy.
Edited because we bawled too hard. That's a true story,
and yet you still make that joke in front of me. Yeah, well,
you're the least Jewish person I've ever met in my
entire life. Edited because I damn feel like it. I'm
(24:42):
saying the NFL, he would have been a great coach,
would have made a great coach. That's so I'm saying,
would have been. It would have been a terrific GM.
Ryan Mallett. At last, we cracked ourselves up. None of
that We're leaving as much as possible. Ryan Mallett has
(25:05):
been released this week by the Houston Texans after missing
a team flight on Saturday last week. Let me let me,
let me continue. He said he was stuck in traffic,
and so that was the second time he's been late
to something and they were just sick of sick of
(25:26):
Ryan Mallet. He's no longer on the Texans. I know. See.
I think I love that they wanted to cut him
before the game, but they couldn't didn't have another backup.
I thought that was funny. I like I like billow
Brian for his kind of the Shenanigans. I loved that
the first time he was Lady said he just slept in.
Ryan Mountain was like listen, I alarm clock didn't go off,
which I think is like, look, how dedicated is he
can't even sleep? He's thinking about football so much, you
(25:47):
know what I mean? That's that's like, that's the kind
of guy you want as your quarterback. But he can sleep.
He slept in What does that mean? But he goes
to sleep late because just thinking about the game. Maybe
he goes to sleep late because he had um, well,
I don't even want to go there. But there was
some talk about what what dropped Ryan Mallett in the
in the draft. I don't think it's a huge secret um.
I don't think it was so much a substance that's
puts you to sleep as much as keeps you awake
(26:09):
late at night. Oh really that that might be well.
He went to Arkansas something on something in the water.
He was on are you gonna was it? I'm just
letting the listener put it the coffee. He likes coffee,
likes coffee. He liked coffee. I think I think if
if you, if you want to wake up, I think
all football players and this is like an idea that
I want to try to get sponsored. Is if you
(26:31):
if you're having trouble waking up in the morning, you've
got to get edited. For little Wayne. I mean, nothing
wakes you up quicker. If you need to take a
quick little power not before the game, you're not gonna
You're gonna get the sleep. But not like the r
EM sleep that really kind of like takes over right
and you're not gonna have a deep sleep. You're gonna
be ready to wake up at any time. Wake up.
Guns blazes, what's the dumbest excuse you've ever used, UM
(26:58):
to skip work. My favorite thing about at this was
that the Houston Chronicle when they reported this story, they
said that Ryan Mallett said that he was late because
of nonexistent traffic. That they were just that they didn't
even felt like they needed sources for that. They were
just like, yes, Saturday morning going to the stadium, There's
no way he was second in traffic. Um. I once
(27:22):
I had an excuse. It was so bad that halfway
through a bail that was just like I quit, Like
I re remember I worked at Borders Books. Like, first
of all, I've been fired from every job I've ever had,
and a lot of those jobs I lived with Greg.
For this episode, I think could be Oh, I forget
sure getting fired from this um more just like it'll
get canceled altogether. Like without me, there was no podcast.
(27:44):
Without me, there was no nfl UM. But I was,
I was late. I was. I had this job at
Borders Books at my first job in l and I
was so bored doing this job. And in the mornings
it was the most boring thing ever, like three hours
I had nothing to do, and so I came in
like two hours late, and they were like what, like
what what? How dare you? Like? Why you didn't call us? Why?
(28:04):
Why are you two? I was late and I was
I'd clearly just woken up, and I was like, I
was like, the gas light on my car. I had
to go pick up a friend his car broke down,
and the gas laid on my car isn't working, so
I didn't not I was running out of gas. And
then I ran out of gas and I had to
go and walk and they're just looking at me like
nodding their heads like we don't And I was like,
I don't know why I'm lying to you guys, like
I just I hate this job on board of it.
They're like, okay on the spot, but I would have
(28:28):
been fired either way, edited because Greg outshined me. Do
you know why we went there was because we were
twenty years old and it was the only place on
the island that would serve us exactly, So we went
into the underage drink as opposed to doing our job.
The other last ide of him news for the day,
It's gonna be Jim Harbaugh and uh, just a little
(28:51):
SoundBite from his press conference last week. Jim Harba now
of course coaching Michigan. Just trying to explain. You know,
someone asked him a hypothetical and his answer was, I'm
not into the if this, if that type of scenarios.
If worms had machine guns, then birds wouldn't be scared
of them. That's that was what Jim Harbaugh said to explain,
(29:13):
not answering hypotheticals. I love I love this quote. I
love it's a great quote. Jim Harbaugh such a poet.
I just like the idea of Harbaugh, like standing in
a field where it's like recently reigned and just like
trying to get worms to use these machine guns. He's
got his, He's got his. Uh what does he wear?
(29:35):
He wears like a pullover tucked into the khakis at
all times. Reddist knows in the game. If you've been watching,
if you've been following Michigan football. She doesn't make any sense.
How does this? I mean, does this make sense? It
doesn't make any sense at all, because if first of all,
birds are not scared of worms at all, and then
he's he's giving the worms machine guns and saying that
(29:57):
birds wouldn't be scared of them, like they're already not scared.
Do you think a machine guns is gonna add extra
no fear, I don't think so. We're wes with machine guns.
Actually sounds like a great movie, don't you think? Like
a great sort of like low fi horror movie. That
is the type of movie you'd try to convince me
to go to. If like if like the Bird, if
(30:20):
they did a sequel to Hitchcock's The Birds, and that
was how it ended, Wasn't the worms got machine guns?
Can you imagine if someone just left a machine gun
on the ground? Word when worms learned how to use
like technology. We've been cutting this little than half for forever,
and now they're gonna get their revenge. Be absolutely frightened.
(30:42):
What do you think so far? I think this is
better worse than last week's That was a little way
by the way, get a bed to it. Every time.
I think it's better, um, and last week's is great.
I mean I got a lot of feedback. My mom
um told me she listened to it this morning. Actually
she just found out about it because I didn't want
to tell her. Yeah, um, real quick, of course. Uh,
(31:03):
she just found out about it, and she was smiles
ear to ear great stories, she said, And my dad
as they always listened to your stuff and they're just like,
what a funny, great guy. And I'm like, wow, okay,
that's what you think. That's interesting. She only found out
because my uncle Dave Dr. David Milner Um tweeted at me.
I didn't even know he had a Twitter account and
(31:24):
said that that we have international listeners because he was
listening from Cambodia. He really liked the show. Wow, why
do you gotta do that? Uncle Dave? Such a nice
guy our listen. Uncle Dave's great, but he's not our
(31:44):
listener of the week. Every week we're gonna pick a
listener of the week. I was blown away from the
response that we got on Twitter and on iTunes. A
lot of you left reviews, a lot of you gave
us five stars, which really helps. It puts us up
on the comment. I know Anthony doesn't care about this,
but do it and to you know, tell your friends
(32:05):
subscribe because it helps and it will help keep this
show going. Otherwise I think it'll just it'll just get canceled.
This is the only promotion we're getting. But but the
real listener of the week that that stood out, I
don't know what his name is. But his handle is
great Hojita, which is a good handle. And he tweeted
at us that he got into a major car accident
(32:29):
listening to your podcast with Anthony jessel Nick, and he said,
I'm okay. I finished the episode later. That's dedication. I
love I love the Caitlyn General listens to our podcast.
I think it's great. I think it's cool that that
she has the great uh djeta as a as a thing.
Listen if you if you're in your car right now
listening to this, going to the other land, So what happens,
(32:51):
you know what I mean, just kind of let it
drift and uh. And if when you run into someone
whoever survives, tell him about this podcast. Well that's the
thing is if this became our thing, getting into accidents
while you listen to our podcast, that would be amazing publicity.
There's no there's no other way we're going to really
get this thing going. But people would write some articles
about the podcast that keeps causing accidents, all publicities, good publicity,
(33:17):
and and it would just get out there. It would
be an an epidemic. I even I even sent you know,
I was really impressed with Great Hohita. You know, I
sent it back. I said, I hope it was worth it.
I hope it was worth the accident, and he says
it was. It happened on the ten, uh, the Interstate ten,
just past the Arizona border, So that was pretty crunk.
Like that is I like he's using the lingo. That's nice. Um.
(33:38):
I just like, you know, if you listen to it
right now, close your eyes, take your hands off the wheel,
and just see what happens. Were able to tweets Greg letter,
We'll talk to you the next week. Don't do that.
We're not We're not responsible for any of that. What
are some other what are some other reactions? Greg? Go
through your favorites. All right, let's go through a few.
By the way, we used to drive on the ten
(33:58):
past the Arizona border, back and forth New Orleans. Yeah,
we saw the thing once. You made me go to
see the thing when we were driving back to New
Orleans because we were so bored. It was pretty scary.
Some favorite reactions. A lot of them were just you know,
really telling us, you know, please don't let the NFL
(34:19):
cancel us. You know, they hope they keeps going, which
was very nice. Edited because I talked about Greg Hardy
way too much. All right? Now the final one, Uh,
this one's from Nate Muzzy. I like this one saying
shot it's called Shadowy League clowns. Anthony and Greg are awesome,
but whatever empty suit didn't laugh needs to go on
a Caribbean vacation to get his or horror groove back
(34:41):
because clearly the stress has destroyed their personality. Wow. I
like how still I kind of groove back reference. That's
not something you see a lot like. I just like
the Shadowy leak out. So keep keep um sending comments
to us or sending tweets. We love it, and we'll
we'll mention a few each week. And you know, we
should have our own Twitter hand. We should have our
own We can do that. It sounds like a lot
(35:03):
of work. I don't know. You'll run that, right, Anthony, yea, yeah,
I love. They would not let me anywhere near it.
All right, let's uh, let's go to that way. That
was Little Wayne, Little Wayne. Initially that that's the Fireman
off of really his probably his worst LP, but good song,
(35:27):
decent song, big fan a Little Wayne. I I set
that one up because I wanted him to introduce our
hottest hot take of the week, and I just thought
we would find one hot take this week, um, each
week if if we can find one that that make
a lot of sense. First, yeah, just to give you
an idea of kind of the hot takes that that
we're thinking of. Trent It really I was thinking of
(35:48):
one from early last season that that stuck out to me.
This is Trent Dilford when you're in Patriots, let's face
if they're not good anymore. I love that one that
was after a week Week four. I'm just the Patriots homer.
I mean saying that when everyone was saying that that
wasn't just I wasn't saying that that's insane. There were
two and two. Um this week I had to go
(36:09):
to the Greg Hardy situation. A lot of dumb hot
takes on this. Stephen A. Smith said, I completely uh.
This was one tweet from Steven A. Smith. I completely
support Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys having Hardy on
the team. What side are you on? It's so it's
hilarious to me how people want to go out and
like defend this. Scott. You have to do is say nothing.
(36:29):
I have to be Stephen Smith could have been like,
you know what, I don't know. I don't know what
they're doing over there, And that would have been fine
to be like I support Like why do you support it?
Why would you ever support? Uh? Either one of those people,
Jerry Jones or or Greg Hardy. Well, not only did
they say they support it, and they tried to explain
it away like, oh, yeah, well, he's just being a leader.
(36:51):
That's the type of passion that we want. Uh, you know,
that's that's what we're looking for. And I've heard other
people go, well, that's football, you know, you gotta let football.
If other players did that, it would be fine. Really,
if other players slapped the playbook out of the coach
and the coach shoved him on the field, when does
that ever happen? If Aaron Rodgers did that, they would
be like Aaron Rodgers lost his mind? Like what was
(37:13):
he thinking? What was going on? It's crazy that you
would defend this. Your your prior record has to matter.
Greg Hardy seems crazy, But it almost feels like like
Stephen A. Smith when he sends that out. It's just trolling.
I mean, I guess that's obvious, but he's just trying
to annoy everyone as much as gregor you know, Greg
(37:34):
Hardy seems to annoy everyone, which that's I guess part
of his stick. But it feels like the Cowboys are
doing that. They literally said, I don't know if you
know this in response to this that they want to
sign them to a long term contract. The Cowboys, like
if they lose in like an entertaining way, like if
they lose in something crazy way you talked about them
all week, they're like just as happy as if they win,
(37:56):
Like they really are entertainment more than like a real
actual sports team. To me, it's crazy to say to
support this guy as hard as they have been, Like
what would if if they wanted to sign him to
a long term contract after doing that, Like, what what
would he have to do to be put into the
ring of honor? Yeah, we would he have to like
block their like where they're linning up for field goal
(38:18):
and he runs on the field and blocks it, And
they'd be like, well, you know what, he's just fired
up out there. If we're not allowed to do that, Greg,
and he cost us three points, Like he's a leader,
just like you know, light the team's airplane on fire
before they before they leave town like this guy's great
put him in, putting him in the Ring of Honor. Well,
I think what would the what's obvious here is that
Stephen A. Smith is a heavy investor in Greg Hardy's.
(38:41):
But was that again his cereal or something? No, it's
it's a bet. It's a little little that it's like
it's kind of like serta, only it's just full of um.
That way you don't sleep too deep. We're gonna have
to get some other little segment intros. But this segment
(39:04):
it's called ask Anthony, Greg pick a few of these
what story? Uh this is from Jordan's White What story
does Greg remember but not Anthony? Hashtag r j VP.
I like the the hashtag r j VP kind of
reminds me of like Alien versus Predator. There's very few
things I would remember that Anthony doesn't. Although I have
(39:25):
a terrible memory, your memory is just nine. I have
no memory. In theory. There was a lot of blackout
moments that you had, uh ten years ago, but I
don't really remember them either. Um. One side of things,
they do remember one day junior year where I heard
the phone ringing at five or six in the morning,
(39:47):
and you couldn't remember this because you were not in
the room and the phone just kept ringing at six
in the morning, and I was like, why is the phone,
you know, ringing like it was a really late night,
crazy things, and I just refused to pick it up.
So there's no way you could remember that. Okay, I'll
say this. I remember that I was in jail and
(40:09):
I was I was calling, trying to get you answer
the phone. I only in college. I only knew a
few phone numbers, yours was one of them, and I
knew you had your own line, so that I knew
the phone was right next to your bed, and that
you were in bed and you were purposely not answering it,
and that you knew you knew the only reason someone
would call you over and over again that early in
the morning, as if they were in jail. I didn't
(40:30):
know that. I did not know you knew what you
just did not want to have to wake up and
go bail me out because I had been arrested two
weeks earlier. I was, well, that's true, I was smart
enough to not call you when I was there. I
think I think I called someone more responsible. Wasn't my
jail the same time as you jail once together there
was we went to I went to jail twice in
two weeks. The first time I could put this on
(40:51):
with my my boss is listening to the first time
I got it was very hard, Moorlands strung tank. I
ran into like five of my friends, which was hilarious.
And now we didn't go together. We didn't go together.
What did you go for? I think I called Jamie
osher or rogging because they had cars and they were
actually was Connor. I remember Connor would call yeah, because
what would you What did you go to jail for? Uh?
(41:12):
It was disturbing the peace after yes, the fight, I
had nothing that that'll be another podcast. We are going
way way too long, um edited to keep your interest. Yeah,
I think you wouldn't. You would have more fun, but
you would be You would as soon as you came
(41:32):
back in your own body, you would be like, oh
my god, this is my life. Is not horrible like
I would. I could ruin your life in twenty four hours. No,
I couldn't really do that much damage to mind. Now,
I would have a blast, and I would do it
for a month or whatever a year. If I knew
I could go back. Maybe not a year, that's it's
very too long. Um. I would. I would do it
(41:53):
because you know, you don't have anything to do right now,
you're working on your show. Um, but it would just
be nice to kind of, you know, be out in
your Hollywood apartment and hanging out, going out at night
like that. Just it almost sounds like vacation. Here's what
I would guarantee if I if it was on the
table right now, we could switch places forever. You would
do it in a heartbeat. I would. You would, absolutely everyone,
(42:14):
anyone that's that true. They the emptiness when I had
to you know, the the emptiness with which would come
over be after a little while when I was in
your body would would be a problematic. You know what
I mean. I have two children and we joke about
it a lot, but it's like the they're the best
two things that ever happened to me at that like
(42:36):
they knowing having known that sort of happiness, and then um,
being thrust into your sort of shallow happiness. It would
be it would be really tough to deal with. I
would leave visit your kids. Okay, now it's time for predictions.
(43:00):
Last week we did uh We did a special game
called Crunk or Funky Funky Fresh where I went through
different matchups and then really predict it would win. I
just predicted whether the matchup would be crunk or funky
funky Fresh or somewhere in between. People really responded to that.
People really on board. Uh. We talked about like this week,
should we do that again with these matchups we mix
(43:21):
it up. My vote was to just do it again,
a double down and just go. But then I looked
at the matchups. You know what, they aren't really either one.
They haven't really fall into the category of funky Funky
Fresh or crunk. And I I went through with a
fine tooth comb and a magnifying glass and I couldn't
really find it. So why don't you just Greg, just
give me, give me some different storylines. We either some
(43:44):
matchups or give me some stories from this coming week.
And like your memory of I feel like the memory
of the reaction to the Crunk or Funky Funky Fresh
segment feels a little skewed. How do you think? I mean?
I got a tweet that said, uh, you can cut
out the last been to the podcast. Other than that,
it was pretty good that guy's not a fan. That
guy doesn't know what's up. There was a lot of
(44:05):
a lot of that, like great podcast until the Funky
Funky refreshtion. A lot of people really liked it. People
said that it's kind of similar to a lot of
a lot of things, but you like the I want
people to love me and hate me. If everyone just
kind of likes you, like I'm sure your podcast with
your with the kids that you do. I bet that's uh.
I've been people like it. I bet no one loves
it or hates it. People love it. People love it.
(44:25):
We just had a meet up in London and people
showed up to that international All right, let's I totally
ruined your set up for this segment. Um, you can
really touch me that you have some sources, right, yeah,
I've got sources all over the league. I mean now
that I'm behind the shield, now that exists behind the shield,
(44:47):
then I kind of the world opens up to you
in a different way. So we thought we would we
would take advantage of those sources. Go through each game,
and you will tell tell us what your sources are
are telling us. All right, let's start with what I
think is the best game of the season so far,
Broncos Packers. Um, what are your sources telling you about
(45:11):
Peyton Manning's future up in the air right now? With
his early struggles, you know, I think it's gonna be
Peyton Manning's last year. I can't see him coming back
for another one. My sources tell me that he's kind
of getting his money together. He's gonna invest. He's gonna
invest with Tom Brady's body guru, that guy who is
up to nothing but good and good things. That two
(45:31):
of them are going to invest heavily into Greg Hardy's
I think people are gonna be like, in a couple
of years, gonna be like, did you know that? Uh?
Do you know Greg Hardy's You know he used to
play football. That's how people will know Peyton Manning. You know,
the greatest regular season quarterback ever. You know, his brother
won two Super Bowls. Let's talk Bengals Steelers. Big game
(45:53):
in the a f C North year. Steelers gotta be
a little nervous. Ben Roethlisberger likely to return for this game.
They have to win or the a f C North
is over. They'd be four games back. They there's no
way they're gonna win the division. This is a game
they have to get. What are your sources telling you
(46:14):
about this game? And my sources tell me that the
students are kind of overmatched. You know, the Bengals are
planned on all cylinders. They're really doing well. Dalton's having
a great, great season so far. But because this game
is going to have a playoff atmosphere, the Banks are
gonna lose by thirty five points and Dalton will have
a hundred interceptions. That's what sources a hundred. How would
(46:36):
your sources be so involved that they actually know what's
gonna go and gonna happen in the game. I'm not
gonna reveal my sources. I just wanted to dance a
little bit Seahawks and Cowboys, getting everyone thinking about that
(46:56):
playoff game from almost a decade ago where Tony Romo
Bob Bold the snap. Tony Romo will not play in
this game, but Dez Bryant might. His status up in
the air this week. What do your sources tell you
about desert status? Does Brian status my sources went on
his Facebook page? Does Briant is single? Terri's the coroner?
(47:25):
That was a little way. What do I why do
my other notes. Listening to the podcast was like col
Anthony when his jokes are terrible column, it was a
great that made me laugh so hard. Finally, um, I'm
really excited about this game. The Carolina Panthers and the
Indianapolis Colts. What a matchup. I mean, the Indianapolis Colts
(47:49):
are struggling. One of the most surprising stories of the year.
So many people expected Andrew Luck to be an m
VP candidate this year. Instead, he hasn't been a top
twenty quarterback. I mean, he is hurting them right now.
And to me, this is a game that's fascinating because
he's facing what I think is really the other best
(48:10):
quarterback under thirty years old, Cam Newton. So it's kind
of the two young guns for the first time. They're
facing off. Chuck Pogano is on the hot seat. The
Carolina Panthers are undefeated, They're the team that could be
going to the super Bowl. There's a it's a huge
build up to this game, Anthony, What are your sources
telling you about Panthers Colts? Greg They tell me it's
(48:34):
gonna be crunk. I can't believe their second episode this
is it feels it feels like an anniversary. It feels
special this Uh, it's way too much like your your
(48:55):
old boss, Jimmy Fallon just sitting there cracking up at
its own jokes. The Little Time. Yep, it's very much
like that, but mine jokes are great, and I have
a podcast Fallon. Uh and that was Anthony's sources, that
(49:16):
was little Wayne. Alright, Greg, let's wrap this puppy up.
Let's get on a positive note. How we haven't talked
about them yet? How are my god children? How are
Ellis and Walker? That's right? Um? No, I know, like
last week, you know it was. It was cool, unbelievable
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