10 Takes with Kyle Brandt: Playoff Time

It's the Playoffs and time for the most fun on the NFL calendar: 

• The Eagles are the biggest offseason mystery
• Multiple cancelled flights
• Was it a fake slide in Buffalo?
• Mike Tomlin needs a home run
• The Cowboys are empy calories
• The most famous offensive lineman ever?

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership
with iHeartRadio. Playoffs, Playoff Playoffs, Playoff Playoffs is nothing like it.
So fun. I'm so glad you're here. I have so
many takes. I have only a few minutes ten exactly

(00:24):
to get them to you. Should we start. We're through
the wildcard round, we are careening into the best week
of the damn football year. So let's just go ten
takes in ten minutes. Start the clock. The Eagles are
the biggest mystery of this upcoming offseason. They're the biggest
mystery of this past regular season, this current playoff season,

(00:47):
maybe of the entire twenty twenty four calendar, in any
walk of life. What the hell happened? This was a
ten to one team that had just beaten the Buffalo
Bills in overtime, and the following day, everyone on my show,
everyone on any show, and everyone on this show saying
how great they were, how clutched they were the Eagles.

(01:08):
The Eagles are gonna be sixteen and one, They're gonna
get back to the super Bowl, and they just completely
fell apart. And when something like that happens, you look
for an answer. You look for someone's Wikipedia page, to deface, someone,
to harass on social media, if that's your kind of thing.
You look to this stack of cataclysmic injuries they suffered
and there's none of that. There's no one to blame.

(01:31):
It's not like they had some terrible distraction off the field.
It's not like their franchise quarterback blew out his knee
and the team just fell apart. It's not like the
coach had to step away for health reason. No, it
was all just there and then poof, it was gone.
What the hell happened? I'm so stupid, Like I think
they might beat the Bucks. I think they have so

(01:52):
many veterans and so many guys who have been there
and have skins on the wall that I know they're
in this stupor. But when they finally hit the playoff
primetime lights, they'll snap alive and they'll be the Eagles
that we know. No, no, no, no, no, they didn't snap alive.
There was no defibrillator paddle you could put to them
and yell clear to their stupid, boring, catatonic chest. They're dead.

(02:16):
A lot of teams lose. The Cowboys embarrassed themselves, but
we're used to it. We understand it. I don't even
understand the Eagles. It's like the players didn't want to win.
What the hell. There's a lot of good veterans on
that team. Strangest mystery I've seen in years, and will
continue to talk about it for months. Topic number two,
Take number two. Bills had themselves a party that was

(02:39):
really fun to watch, all the whole logging of the
weather and the updates and the travel concerns. I was
supposed to go to Buffalo. I was supposed to go
to Buffalo. Saturday night flight canceled, Sunday morning flight canceled,
Sunday night flight canceled. I was trying to fly to
Rochester and then drive to Buffalo. I was trying to
do everything short of taking a ton ton from Echo Base,
and I couldn't get to Buffalo. The Steelers got to

(03:00):
Buffalo and then they found themselves down twenty one to nothing.
The Bills executed. They didn't fall in their face and
their first home playoff game like they did last year
against Cincinnati, inferior opponent without their best player, t J.
Watt twenty one or nothing. That just held on. They'll
be ready to go and We're getting the Game of
AFC Dreams next week. Take number three. Josh Allen did
his thing. People are Jason mccordy. I'm gonna say peep.

(03:24):
I'll just name Jason, who gives a damn? He was
in his feelings a Good Morning Football today on Josh
Allen's long run was just the second longest run by
a quarterback in the playoffs ever, second only to Colin
Kaepernan against the Packers about a decade ago. That Josh
Allen did the fake slide and that everyone was nervous
about hitting him, so that's the reason the play went
so long. Let me tell you something, if you've done

(03:45):
any preparation on Josh Allen, and if you're the Steelers
defensive backs, you did. If you really think he was
gonna slide when some corner or some safety was coming
to him and he's fifteen yards down the field, that
you don't know the guy, I don't know what tape
you're watching. He wasn't gonna slide. You could get hooked
by a lot of fake slides by a lot of people.
He wasn't gonna slide. If anything, he was gonna hurdle you.

(04:07):
That run was electric. You saw the fans throw snow
in the crowd. Is he gonna do that against the Chiefs? Man?
If they lose to the Chiefs and they're at home,
there's not going to be any excuses. I know the
defense is banged up, but you've been waiting for this
one at home for years. Huge, huge, huge game. Take
number four. Mike Tomlin lost again in the playoffs, and
then someone asked a pointed question. Actually they didn't even

(04:28):
ask the question. They just kind of set up the
question about his own personal contract, and he walked out
of the room. You're gonna hear the question. It went
like this, and you won't love the contract. And then
Mike just didn't say worden just walked out. I thought
that was rude. I didn't think it was amusing, even

(04:48):
in the Internet sense of things. I thought it was
kind of dumb. And I'll say this, I'm kind of past,
move past. I think we all should the Mike Thomas
never had a losing record, never had a losing record.
We know, we know, we've talked about it for years.
It's admirable, it's impressive, But what has he done after that?
When's the last time he won a playoff game. It's

(05:09):
been years and years of losses in the wildcard round,
and since anythings he's done anything past that, he and
anzality loses. His teams get destroyed in the wildcard round.
So we constantly say, well, he's never had a losing record.
It's like the baseball players saying, I've never struck out.
I've never struck I never ever go up in and

(05:30):
strike out. Okay, well do you ever hit a double?
Do you ever had a home run? It's been years
since you've hit a home run. Why don't you take
a few swings. I'm tired of hearing that you don't
strike out. We're trying to be in the business of
home runs here, especially for the Steelers, who are the
bedrock of the National Football League and rings and banners
and everything. Wildcard games aren't good enough, especially when you

(05:51):
haven't won anything beyond that for years and years, and
most of those wildcard games you get hammered in. But
Mike Tomlin has this thing where everyone in the media
sort of has just worships him. And I tell you what,
the Steelers fans don't. They're really sick of it, really sick,
and I think you'd be hired immediately if they ever
let them go, but they won't. They don't let go coaches.
Aren't you supposed to let go coaches? They don't get

(06:12):
Super Bowls if you're the Steelers, he doesn't take number five.
The Cowboys are empty calories and we're a day later
now in Cowboys reaction. What does that mean? Empty calories?
You used to know this guy who is really into
fitness and a diet and all that stuff, and he
would refer to terrible things you put in your body's
empty calories. There's no nutritive value. There's no protein, there's
not even any quality carbohydrates. There's no vegetables, there's no nutrients,

(06:33):
there's no vitamins. It's things like French fries, doughnuts. They're
just sugar and salt. It will help you in any way.
There's nothing you can take from them. The Cowboys season
this year again was empty calories. Ceedee Lamb had an
all time statistical year for the Cowboys, and who cares,
it's tethered to nothing permanent memorable. Michael Irvin had his

(06:56):
records broken by Ceedee Lamb. Michael Irvin did it in
Super Bowl seasons. The Cowboys had twelve wins. Who cares
Dak Prescott fantastic statistical season? Who cares empty calories? There
has to be something of lasting substance that we can
remember you by. The only way we remember the Cowboys
this season. If we look back as the last year
of Mike McCarthy, which we should take number six, the

(07:19):
Cowboys have bigger questions than the Eagles in the offseason.
The Eagles have more questions like, what the hell happened?
What the bleep just happened, What in the world just happened,
How are we going to change what just happened? How
are we gonna fix it? What just happened? Who's gonna
play center for us? I'll get to that in a second.
And also my question is Howie Roseman sitting in his
house somewhere up in some office with a cigar saying,

(07:41):
you guys are idiots. I did my job. I filled
this roster with players. I brought incredible food to the kitchen,
and you morons can't cook it. That's your fault or
was it more like how we I don't know if
those signings and those draft picks were as good as
you think they were, And maybe you were a little
naive about the team chemistry and guys where they are
in their career. Young guys don't have it yet. Old

(08:01):
guys don't have it anymore more questions. But the Cowboys
have bigger questions, namely, who the hell is going to
be their head coach. We're right now, as I'm sitting
here recording this, it's Tuesday morning. We're forty eight hours
out almost to the Cowboys lost. They still like Mike McCarthy.
Go yet, what are they thinking about? What is the
case for keeping mack McCarthy. He won twelve wins and

(08:22):
the year before and the year before one of three
in the playoffs. Like the Steelers, you're purportedly about winning
Super Bowls. Move on, you got some big dogs out
there looking to be hired. I can't believe Mike McCarthy's
still the coach. Take number seven, Jason Kelsey retired. I
like everybody like Kelsey a lot me all my take
is on him. I think he's the most famous offensive
lineman in history. I think there was a Reddit thread

(08:44):
about it too. Someone tweeted me in I think he's
the most famous offensive lineman to ever live. Some of
the other suggestions thrown out Michael Orr, who I don't
think is true Michael or No. I don't think a
lot of people know his name. They just know, oh,
the Blindside guy, and he's more famous because of Sandra Bullock.
I saw, you know, the nineties Cowboys, sure, but they
were just kind of a I don't think like Nate

(09:06):
Newton was terribly as famous as Jason Kelcey. I saw
Jeff Saturday, cool name ESPN guy who was a head coach. No,
Michael Oran is nothing to Jason Kelsey, who's an incredible
player and an incredible speech. It's six time All Pro.
I think Super Bowl champion and his damn brother dates
the most famous woman in the world. Take number eight.
Here is in order the ranking of the divisional round

(09:27):
playoff games, in order which I think will be the
best games and the worst games, the worst games to
best worst game. Texans versus Ravens. I think the Ravens
are the best team in the NFL. I love the
Texans story. That might be some come up ands. Three
Buccaneers Lions. I think the Lions are really good. I
know the Bucks just hammered the Eagles, but I think
the Lions are legit that atmosphere is going to be
unbelievable in Detroit. Three two Packers Niners. Packers have the

(09:51):
punching power. I know the Niners are the real machine.
Jordan Love is the best quarterback playing in the playoffs.
And number one, I think the best game will be
Chiefs Bills. I will talk about it a lot next
week after it happens. Chiefs Bills is for real. Take
number nine, I'm running out of time. I have the
funniest headline of the day. Bill Belichick interviews for a
Falcons job. He's interviewing them guys. They're not interviewing him.
They're not sitting Bill Belichick down and say so, Bill,

(10:12):
where do you see yourself in five years? Bill tell
us about a time when you had a challenging situation. Well,
I was investigating for deflating footballs. I was down twenty
eight to three in the Super Bowl and one of
my players was arrested for murder. That was tough. I
don't think the interview went like that. Take number one,
My children had a snow day today. Snow days are better,
more exciting than off days because you don't find out

(10:33):
till you wake up, and it's pure damn magic. They
don't have to scroll across the bottom of the screen anymore,
but it's still hit boom, and so does ten Takes
with Kyle Brant, the very program you're listening to right now,
that was ten minutes exactly. I'm going to go home
right now. It is ten forty four am. I'm gonna
get home at about eleven forty four and my kids

(10:53):
are going to be bouncing off the bleeping walls with
that sweet, sweet dopamine of no school because the white
stuff fell out of the sky. I'm going to build
some snow forts. I'm gonna be checking this with snowball.
I'm gonna make some snow men, snow people, snow women's
noo everything. It's gonna be a hell of the day
at the Brand Household. Thank you for listening to me
on this fine morning in January. Ten Takes and ten Minutes.

(11:15):
We'll be back next week. Enjoy the best week of
football all year, divisional round hits like no different. Next
time we talk, we will know who's going to the
title games, the Final four. Love you, Thank you, Sia Bye.
Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership
with iHeartRadio. For more iHeartRadio pods, go to the iHeartRadio app,

(11:39):
go to Apple, go anywhere you like, it'll be there.