REP: Mike Mayock and Bob Saget

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to The Rich Podcast starring Chris Bruckman. When it
comes to determining the favorite team of your kids, your
kids really don't have free will unless they're actively rebelling

(00:24):
against you. But you know what, I really didn't like
my dad, so I started rooting for the Dodgers, Chris Law,
Joe Phi, Joe Pesci, Joe Pesci, Martini and three Alves.
And it was a hot day, so I went to
hydrate myself at the at the bar and he walks
up with his Martini. Barrett, Barrett, they tell you the
string was from me, bre He goes, yes, Mr Pesci.
He goes, it's funcking awful. Do I make eye contact?

(00:48):
Do I keep looking forward? I just don't know what
to do? And then he looks at me and he goes, Beard,
here is your host, Rich. What in the world was that?

(01:12):
I want that guy following me around like announcing me
into rooms? What in the world that was a late
submission into our listener opener contest that who who was that? That?
My friends was Ivan nick Vich And I'm hoping I'm
pronouncing that correct. Ivan. It's probably Nick Covid. No, he
even gave me a phonetic actually like the draft. Yeah,

(01:36):
Nick Nickovich, and his name is Ivan or Evan what's
abelled ivy a N but he has an E on
the pronunciation. He is he domestic or international? He's international? Um,
he's he's intergalactic. He's a sound designer, a senior sound designer. Where, um,
I'm trying to so in Sweden, it's from Sweden? Then

(01:57):
that I mean, I mean the Gregorian chant send the
background and then and then starring Chris Brockman. First bill,
first billing, starring Chris law And now here's your host.
Welcome to the Rich Eyes and Podcast. What a way
to start the show is, well, we've got a wacked

(02:18):
out show. Well, first things first is we're finally in
the week before the draft. We finally made it. And uh,
it would be now that we'd be putting out our
annual post draft podcast where the draft would be in
the books, all seven rounds, all two fifty six newly
drafted rookies, right or how many picks are there? You know,

(02:42):
would be would be freshly minted and we'd be talking
about everything and um, but now we're we're we're finally
in position, we're finally on the on the ready for takeoff.
We're taxing, we're ready. And so Mike Mayock is going
to join us, and there's nobody better. It's that simple.

(03:04):
He's the E. F. Hutton. He is the guy who
who everybody listens to. With all due respect to the
rest of the talent evaluation community within our walls. Outside
of our walls. I may be biased, he's the man,
and he's going to join us. I believe he's been

(03:24):
in five or seventeen building. Will ask him, he's he's visiting.
He's in his portion of his evaluation where he's physically
going to NFL buildings and I'm I'm I'm sure coaches
show them their board, seven of them this week. If
I'm having Mike Mayock in the building, I am definitely saying,
here's my board. What do you think. There's no doubt

(03:46):
in it. So he's seen draft boards, he's talked to
the evaluators that are in in buildings, and he's hearing
what they're saying about the draft, comparing his notes with theirs.
He's phoning in. He's the man. Then we have Bob
Saget in studio, Yes, we do. And if I know

(04:07):
Bob and I've known him. He's going to be the
first guy on this show in the history of this
show to have been at my bachelor party. I've been
married eleven years. Okay, so Bob was at my bachelor party.
I've known him for a very long time through my wife,
through Susie. Susie came to Los Angeles about three years

(04:29):
or four years before I did. She was out here
hosting the first ever episodes of the Regional Southern California
Sports Report. When she came out, You guys were dating, though, right,
because you started dating at Bristol. Yes, yeah, okay, yeah,
it took a while, took three years of the just
friends period to listen, don't give up, I tell I

(04:53):
tell Susie that are you know? Our children are are
physical testaments to my perseverance. Well, the first two boys
are now our girl because she wanted one. She's a
testament to Susie's persevere Long story short, They're beautiful children.
I love my life. Okay, So she she was out

(05:15):
here anchoring the Southern californ Regional Southern California Sports Report
for the first ever Fox Regional Sports networks. That's what
she did out here and when she came out here.
One of the first people she met was Jonathan Silverman,
the actor who's a huge Dodger fan, huge baseball fan,
and I had met him years before. My first All

(05:37):
Star game Baseball All Star game that I covered for
ESPN was the one in nineties seven summer of ninety seven,
Colorado at the freshly built Course Field, Okay, and Johnny
was on the field with a video camera taping a
bunch of people to give a testimonial to the camera
on behalf of his I believe nephews bar Mitzvah tape

(05:58):
that he was putting together. So I met Johnny on
the field there, and then she subsequently completely separately met
Jonathan Silverman when he came out here. When she came
out here, and one of Jonathan Silverman's best friends is
Bob Saget the post Weekend to Bernie's but while he
has the show on NBC correct the single guy, right

(06:19):
and Bob. That's how I met Bob Saggatt through Jonathan Silverman,
whose dad married me and Susie. Jonathan Silverman's father is
a one of the biggest rabbis in the United States
of America, and we met his and the sweetest man,
and he married Susan talked about six degrees of separation.

(06:41):
Saggot's coming in. So I know him, and so what
I want to say is this, He's one of the
sweetest guys you'll ever meet. He's got a heart the
size of name. Anything huge. He would respond to that, well,
then it's my peace. Okay. That is the type of
god I that he is, and that is his sense

(07:04):
of humor. So I'm saying right off the bat to
everybody who's hearing this, sure if he says something, one
of the Carlin dirty words will bleep it. His sense
of humor is not for everyone, certainly not. Okay, he
doesn't mean anything that he's saying, but he says it

(07:24):
because it's funny, or at least in his mind it's funny.
And so his sense of humor is off the charts.
But he's he's he means well, he's a sweet human being.
And that's the caveat that I'm thrown out there for
the conversation that we're gonna have in studio because Bob's here.

(07:47):
Hawk in a book, Dirty Daddy, The Chronicles of a
family Man turned Filthy Comedian, because he is. He was
on Full House right with Stamos and Laughlin, The Olsen's
Wins Ye Jody Sweeten playing a dad, playing a dad
on television, and then he was the host of America's
Funniest Home Videos where people would forever where people would

(08:09):
be sending in their home videos wholesome? Did you guys
ever send videos? Never did that? I think one maybe
we may have back in the day. Watch that show. Yeah,
definitely watch that show. Everybody did. Everybody did. And so
he if you see him and you've seen him on

(08:29):
on on specials, on comedy specials on cable, if you've
ever been fortunate enough to see him in in in person,
um do his do his stand up your your your
eyes will melt because it's just that's not the guy
that you you know, because he's filthy. How How I
Met Your Mother? He voiced over that for years and

(08:50):
then one Verse one hundred Game Show. He doesn't come
across as that dark comedian. But if you've seen The Aristocrats,
or well the movie The Aristocrats, which is I was there,
by the way, If The Aristocrats, the movie that you're
talking about, um, The Aristocrats, Well I'll talk about that
after mayok but um, I just wanted to give that

(09:14):
off the top about Bob. So when he comes up,
like certainly, do not listen to the conversation. Some people
listen to the podcast with their kids in the car.
This one, this one is not for that, Okay, But
he's a sweetheart guy. Just keep that in mind when
you listen to the conversation later on. Is there any

(09:36):
news still? I mean, everybody is just waiting. We're waiting, right,
We're waiting. You hear the talent evaluators and m on
our network, ESPN and wherever else you might get your
football news from. Everybody's got their opinions. Everybody was going
up in arms about Meryl Hodge calling Jadavian Clowney atrocious
last week, that this is atrocious, that's atrocious. Bottom line

(09:57):
is this? What does Rick Smith think? What is Bill O'Brien?
Will they even think about trading this pick? Between now
and then you heard from me and Rappaport, Albert Brier
and are our home here in the NFL media group
that the Atlanta Falcons are serious about trading up and
then you'll see hear from me and they're serious about
trading down. You know, So who knows. This is that

(10:19):
period Rich where there's just smoke everywhere. I think just
gms are trying to played pitch almost tricks on each
other to try to kind of throw them off the scent.
I think one of the things I'm most interested to
hear Mike talk about is his original You know, he
comes out with these top five lists by position, and
he hasn't gotten through all the tape on all the
guys when those originally come out. But I think when

(10:40):
his first came out he had one. Now he's darn
near almost out of the top five. Were three on
this one March thirty one. He released one earlier. This
week he's tied for fifth uh with Garoppolo and Uh.
I think one is Manzil to his three car But
then you got Curtis Conway is also on path to

(11:00):
the draft. He says, Look, I don't buy the pro Day.
I think people are weighing too heavily on that his
tape from the last two years where he was conspiracy.
I just saw he took out a insurance policy on
if he's not a top five pick in the draft,
a top ten pick in the draft, he gets a
five million dollar insurance policy. He's one of the only
players that's ever kind of bet against himself to not

(11:21):
be a top five and take this insurance policy. No
glove through without the glove slips in the draft gets
the guarantee million. Where are you reading this? On? NFL
dot com via ESPN dot com came out with the
report and he's he's scuttled his own draft value to
cash to cash in on an insurance protect They're saying,

(11:42):
he has this insurance policy where if he is not
in the top ten. Uh, he gets five million dollars
from who. I will give you the facts. Honestly, I
have I have been all over this and I got
to talk about this for eighteen billion hours next week
on I have not heard this yet. You were breaking
news to me. Just just came out this morning. Um,

(12:04):
what's this person insurance policy that would pay him five
million if he falls out of the top ten and
can be proved to have been caused by injury or illness? Well,
that's the difference. How can it be proved that? Well,
that makes sense. You're taking a policy that you but
no one's gonna take it if he's not taken in

(12:24):
the top ten of the draft. It's not because he's
ill or he's hurt. It's because people thought he couldn't
throw it his pro day. Yeah, I mean recap my
entire but he has to prove the slip was because
of injury. Well, the slip is not going to be
because of that. No, it's gonna be because he had

(12:46):
a terrible pro day, had a terrible pro day and
and his fall and we'll talk about that with Mike
has just been remarkable in that regard. But it's all
gonna come out in the wash. And I don't know
how would Cleveland if they didn't choose a quarterback Number
four were all if Bridgewater or any of these three
Bordles or Manzel. I mean, you saw Baldy's mock draft

(13:06):
this week. No quarterbacks were taken in the top ten.
He had man'zell going to Cleveland at twenty six. Let
me tell you if if man Gel is available to
Cleveland to Cleveland at twenty six, that would be that
would be a script out of draft Day that people

(13:27):
would think was not true Hollywood, Like, could you imagine
the Texans take Clowney number one and then with the
first pick on Friday get Bridgewater on top of the
second round. I mean, that's the possibility pepistically happen. But
where they're smoked two top five picks coming into this
whole evaluation period and then on the day it happens,

(13:49):
they get both. I gotta be honest with you, I'm
still still I'm still I'm still holding fast and firm
that at next two days mocked draft that we're going
to hold at the league office and air that night,
is there that night, and there's that night at nine
quick turnaround, very quick turnaround almost And where where I'm

(14:15):
I'm I'm still holding fast that Manzill's my pick number
three overall for Jacksonville. But everything that I'm reading, they're
not going in that direction. So I'm wondering, do I
do us at this service blow it up and blow
up a draft. I mean, I want this to look
like something that might actually happen, not like I'm gonna

(14:38):
be a fan and I'm gonna throw a guy in in.
You know that that Gus Bradley's system. Maybe you know,
I understand that he saw Russell Wilson first, you know, firsthand,
and that Russell Wilson what he's done for Seattle, you know,
and that he see what he seems. He doesn't see
him firsthand, but he's seeing the fact. You know what, Gus,

(15:00):
what what what Seattle's done? And so he does. But
if Khalil Mack is available three, a defensive minded guy
who sees a once in a lifetime talent at outside linebacker,
wouldn't he want to plug him in and go defend

(15:22):
against Andrew Luck in the same way that the Texans
want to with Jadave and Clowney. This is all stuff
that I want to talk about with Mike, and he's
gonna help me in this process. But I'm I'm definitely
gonna sit here and ask him, well, what's my pick
going to be at number three? Overall? I might do
that anyway. What the hell he's he's the commissioner, and
as you know, he's got the red ass and he
will tell me straight to my face on NFL Network

(15:42):
that you know, I'm way off or I'm in or
whatever you need. Here's a little promo of that show here,
I'll play It's it's you and Mack getting at it
too a little. It's it's kind of good here. Okay,
let's just all right, Like text everybody. I'm like Kak
and I'm the commissioner for the fifth annual NFL dot
Com Mock Draft with the first pick of the two

(16:03):
thousand and fourteen NFL Draft. Like the regular commissioner, there
is a time element here. You've got one minute when
I put you on the clock too. You're on the clock.
I'll go ahead and just make my selections short and
sweetis if you thought would smoke him? If I can
get past what Mike Mayhak has to say, no pressure,
critical pick. That's a perfect tick. Then that's a good
pick right there. I love it. You just got the
multiplos player in the ground. Do not this guy both

(16:26):
the best un blockers this year? What he is the
number one player on my board? I go the best
player available on my board. Guy Mock Draft Weekly Live
from the Big Apple, Tuesday, May six nineties to hold
on NFL Network. Yeah, and he's no, he's no wall flower,

(16:47):
that mayok and um um. There's lots to talk about
with him. Mike Mayock is on the horn, all right.
He's the man of the hour. He's the man of
our draft coverage, there's no question about it. And he's
a good friend as welcoming back to the Rich Eyes
and podcast. Mike Mayock, How are you, Mike Richard? I'm
doing pretty good man. How you doing? I'm doing fine.

(17:07):
How's this extra two weeks been treating you? I hate it?
I were And for the record, I have not talked
to one coach, scout, personnel director, or anybody in the
entire NFL that's happy about it. Is that right? Yep?
Because it just compresses what's on the back end and

(17:28):
they know that that's coming, or the extra two weeks
they feel is unnecessary. What's the genesis of that belief?
You think the combination of everything, the extra two weeks
aren't necessary. You don't get your hands on the rookies
till later. The veterans are in, the rookies are not.
And more than anything, it's quality of life for all
these people that kill each other. They work so hard

(17:51):
and you know they live for the downtime they get
in July. And now it's compressing everything and it's just um,
it's from a quality of life standpoint, everybody's frustrated. So
as we now are currently on the cusp, what do
you think of the let's start? I guess Macro here
let's start with a wide lens. This general belief of

(18:14):
the draft class would be what Mike, Yeah, I think
we've been talking rich since Combine about how great a
class this is, and in in a bunch of positions,
rich it is. UM it's the best wide receiver class
in the years. It's really deep at that sexy offensive
guard position. There's more depth at the quarterback position, although

(18:40):
way more opinions about who the best quarterback is or
isn't up top. I think the corners are deep, but
it's really interesting because the tight ends fall off the
board after about five. It's hard for me to find
a third round defensive tackle that I like, and the
edge russures are almost non existent. So UM as good

(19:01):
as drafted as it is, and trust me, it really is.
There's some positions that aren't very good. So how does
that manifest itself? Let's just start with top top ten?
How does how does what you've just say? Certainly, when
you talk about pass rushers, we know of two we
know of two guys that can go hunt uh that
people are raving about UM or some let's put it

(19:23):
that way. What what what? What do you think happens
at the top of this draft based on what you've
just said. No matter how I look at the top
ten teams, and no matter how many internal mock drafts
I've done or conversations I've had with coaches, GMS, and scouts,
I can't get more than three defensive players in the

(19:44):
top ten at most. And basically it's Clowney and Mac
and then either seven or eight offensive players that are
going to go in the top ten, and maybe a
corner will sneak in there at like nine or in
or eight, nine or ten. But for the most part, Rich,
I think that offense line, I mean, there's gonna be

(20:05):
three offensive tackles off the board quickly. I think that
the kids from Notre Dame Zach Martin is going to
be gone in the first thirteen picks. So I think
poor offensive tackles will be gone in the top thirteen,
maybe even the top ten. Um, You've got a quarterback
situation that's crazy, that's really and I'm sure that's what

(20:27):
you want to talk about, and where the big buzz
is right now throughout the lake is just how many
of those quarterbacks are going to go in the first
eight picks. Well, because that that that obviously sets up
our Thursday night, Mike Um either to talk in the
first hour or two about what these quarterbacks can do
with their new teams and how quickly they can do

(20:47):
it and what could be expected of them, or our
first hour or two is looking at our watch saying
when in the world are these quarterbacks gonna go? And
suddenly we've got ourselves the first round that the entire
car tree is now tuning in droves in the ten
o'clock eleven o'clock hour to see what's going on. So
what what do you you know? What do you think

(21:09):
will happen when it's all said and done. Here's some
conversation for you. Okay, Gus Bradley at number three, UM,
Mike pettnit four, and Mike Zimmer at eight are all
are three of the five teams desperately in need of
a quarterback in the top eight, and all three of
those guys are defensive coordinators. And the way I looked

(21:32):
at the league a year ago, the two best teams
in that league, Seattle in San Francisco, won football games
by playing great defense, running the football, and having their
quarter may fact make less a percentage of plays. Then
Tom Brady and Peyton Manning or Drew Brees has to.
So if you kind of look at where the NFL

(21:54):
is right now, if they're two best teams and three
of those new head coaches are newer head coach is
come from the defensive side, I think at most we're
gonna get two quarterbacks and probably only one in the
top eight, And that sets up all that drama that
you're talking about as far as how it lays out,
because I think there's certain pressure points throughout the rest

(22:17):
of the first round about where a quarterback quarters all go.
Where do you see those pressure points? Uh? If we
let's let's get through the first eight and then I
think the first pressure point is eleven. With Tennessee, there's
a possibility there. I think there's a you got Ken
wizzen Hunt offensive coach Jay Clocker doesn't have to be

(22:38):
his quarterback. At six team you've got a quarterback coming
off two back surgeries at age thirty four, Tony Romo.
The entire league has circled and Cleveland's second pick in
the draft. If they don't take a quarterback at four
and at that's where you need to get ahead of

(22:58):
if you want to get the second third or fourth quarterback,
depending on what's happened before that. And from my perspective,
the three quarterbacks I see going the earliest our Manzelle, Bordos,
and Car. It's amazing to me what's happened with Bridgewater
Mike since the beginning of this process to where we
are now. What could put your finger on this for me?

(23:19):
With Bridgewater, I had a similar experience that several teams did.
I watched I think for Bridgewater takes prior to the combine.
I really liked them. And if you remember, I said
I thought he was the most NFL ready quarterback at
that point. And you you know, we talked about Pro
days and they're not important and all that stuff, but

(23:40):
you have to see a quarterback throw the football live,
and to make a long story, shut in a really
bad Pro Day. And I've talked to a bunch of
teams that were disappointed in the Pro Day and in
some of his subsequent workouts. So if you see the
kid throw in person and you don't like the arm strength,

(24:01):
the accuracy, the way it comes out of his hands,
you've got an issue because you like the tape. So
I'm struggling with it a bunch of other teams are
struggling with it. But from what I saw in person,
I couldn't take him in the first round. I think
he needs a red shirt gear. And he's a real
slight framed kid who I like personally, but I couldn't

(24:23):
take him in the first round. And how NFL ready
is Johnny Manziel? Do you think, out of all the quarterbacks,
if I had to take one in the top ten
and put a gun to my head and say you're
only allowed one, that would be my guy? And and
I say it with trepidation. But I think the most
interesting conversations I've had about Manzel have been with defensive coordinators.

(24:46):
All of them say, we don't want any parts at
the all of that guy. I love it so so
why wouldn't somebody take a shot with him? When you
say that you hold your breath with him? Is it
the off the field TMZ type stuff? Is that? What
is the biggest breath hold in regards to taking Man's

(25:08):
l top ten? It's two things. Rich One is off
the field, and that is do you want him as
the face of your franchise? And the question you have
to ask yourself is okay? Is it just kind of
a case of immaturity. A twenty year old kid running
around and we all did it. Blah blah blah. Where
do you think he's a bad kid? How do you
how do you come down on that question is first
and foremost, and that's the important one. You know, do

(25:32):
you want to manage this kid off the field for
the next four or five years? And the second part
of it is you have to believe that he can
win from the pocket and if he can go through
his progressions, if he can throw the ball down the
field and then do his Johnny football thing. I think
you get the best of both worlds. So what about

(25:53):
the pizzas factor, the putting fannies in the seats factor,
and and and I bring up Jacksonville as a perfect
example of that. What does does that factor into Let's
say positively or negatively? Because we heard Zimmer say that
he really wasn't enamored with the with the pro day,

(26:15):
with the with the gear and the music and all
that sort of stuff. Mike, Let's put it this way.
I think the owners take a vested interest in that
fanny's in the seats. You know, you bring up Jacksonville,
you look at Houston. I mean those two. Imagine those

(26:37):
two cities. If either one puts the card in, it,
says Manzil, It'll be Johnny football Menia. Now, I'm old school,
and I believe that the cure all for fannies in
the seats is winning football games. And if three years
from now or two years from now, Jacksonville stinks and

(26:58):
Houston these things, Johnny man it doesn't at her to
Johnny Manzel's your quarterback. So you've got to make the
best decision for your franchise. And I have trouble seeing
Houston sitting there going okay, I'd rather Houston if they
can't trade down, and I think they want to trade down.
My guest says they wanted to say down. If they
have to pull a card at one, I gotta believe

(27:20):
it's clowney at one and come back at thirty three
and get your quarterback. I don't like it the other way.
I don't like Manzell or Bordles at one and come
back at thirty three. I'd much rather do it the
other way. Right, And so how about another one? You
mentioned the pressure point of Dallas. Should Manzell fall and
if all teams to take Johnny Manzel and create some buzz.

(27:44):
Do you think that's possible? Do you think Jerry Jones
sits there with all other holes clearly that he's got
to fill that he's sitting there once again, it's sixteen
right in the middle. That's the perfect eight and eight
draft spot, as you know, I mean, would he would
you go ahead, you think and pull that trigger on something.
I think Dallas feels like they're pretty close right now,

(28:04):
and if they could get a ha ha, Clinton Dicks
or you know, a good player at six team that
they're a playoff team, and if Tony Romo stays healthy,
they've got two or three years left at least with
high level production from him. But you know that Jerry
Jones to me is always wild card. I pitch. I

(28:25):
wouldn't begin to guess what he would do with Mandel
on the board. That would be incredible if he's let's
put it this way, Mike, that ten minutes of our coverage,
if that's possible, that it happens, I can guarantee you
the ten minutes, that ten minutes of our coverage will
be a lot of fun, will be a lot of fun,
certainly with Irvin sitting up there and and Mooch and

(28:48):
us just you know, just obviously giving it a positive discussion.
And whoever the Steelers choose at fifteen would be given
a little bit of short shrift. I'm almost sure that.
So I know, we talked enough about the quarterbacks here.
Who is the guy? Who is the guy that you
think is a first rounder that that others are are

(29:11):
are missing potentially? Who do you like? I guess it's
the ultimate question here. It's a good question. I've been
banging the table for Zack Martin because I do the
Notre Dame games and he's gone from I trust. I
had a bunch of scalps tell me prior to the
Senior Bowl he'd never get into the first round. Now
they're talking about him in the top ten. So Zach

(29:31):
Martin is a guy that that I'm really excited about.
Another guy I like who if he's snuck into the
first round wouldn't surprise me. And it's not sexy, but
Joel Patonio, this guard tackle from the Vada I put
his tape on against Anthony barr at U c l
A almost fell over. I mean the kids stoned them
the whole game. He played really well against every edge guy.

(29:55):
I have everybody telling me he's a second or third
round guarder tackle, and I look at him and say,
there's gonna be a run on tackles early and Kuanjo,
kid from Alabama could go. I mean, if those first
four tackles rich go in the first twelve or thirteen picks,
Quanjo probably has to go to Miami at nineteen. And
now the tackle board is almost wiped out. And wait,

(30:17):
do you see guys looking for Morgan, Moses or Joltatnio.
It's it's really gonna be fascinating. And how good is
Aaron Donald's I've heard a lot of people talking him up. Well,
what's interesting to me is that he could slide a
little bit despite the fact that he's a great player
and he did everything right. He had great college production.

(30:39):
He dominated the Senior Bowl, he ran four six eight
at the combine as a defensive tackle. He did everything
you're supposed to do. And he's absolutely a first round pick.
But he could if Chicago doesn't take him at four,
team Dallas could take him at sixteen. But but if
if they if he doesn't go to those two ops,

(31:00):
I'm not sure where he's going and and it's one
of those things where he's too good to last much longer.
But there's some people that don't like them because they
think he's too small body to tackle. Now, if you
remove just the general sense of you know, a lot
of people have a difficulty taking linebacker number one overall
or at the very very top, just just just removing

(31:23):
also the hype involving Clowney and how it's a safer pick.
And I guess in regards for for the Texans, would
would you take just removing all of that just straight
up football, take Mac over Clowney, Mike yea in scout
Parlan's Clowney has got a slightly higher feeling and Max

(31:47):
got a higher floor. And I don't think Max's talent
level is that far below Clowney. They're they're really two
different positional guys, but they're both edge guys. So if
I was the GM and push game to shove, and
I had to sit there and pull a card out
and write a name down, uh, it might be Mac. Yeah.

(32:10):
I know you've been high on him since the very beginning.
The last couple of questions for you, Mike, um yes
or no? From what you believe right now? Trade in
the top ten come Thursday night? Yes or no? Uh? Yeah?
I think we could see one, especially given the quarterback situation,
and I really believe that the top three or four

(32:32):
teams would love to trade down. Okay, and are you
are you all fired up for your um your mock
draft commissionership on NFL Network next Tuesday night? Say yes,
Mike or Chris law? Are you all fired up for this?
You're you're you're ready to just use it as the
sanctuary that you always view it to be. Mike, are

(32:53):
you ready for that? I'm as excited about that as
I am about the Eyes and podcast today. I just
want you to know that, so you're really fired up
about it, you viewed, you view it as a privilege. Okay.
Do I have to separate you two this year because
you two got into it a little there? This medium
comments that some of us hit at gym and it's

(33:16):
all right, it's all right, great, it's okay, We're good.
We're always good. I mean the fact that you called
in shows that we're Mike, I really appreciate it. How
many teams have you visited in recent days? Just just
so I know I've been in about five buildings in
the last ten days. And how many you got to go?

(33:36):
You're gonna go some more. Yeah, I got two more
and I got a bunch of phone calls to just
touch base with people. All right, Well, have at it.
I appreciate you taking the time out to do this.
Thank you, my pleasures. Talk to you guys later. You
see in New York Mike. That's Mike Mayock everybody, And uh,
that's a little preview of what you're gonna hear on
NFL dot com on Thursday. As uh, we're all about

(33:58):
the content. What you to be just a sort of
behind the scenes chat between Mike and the media to
give the media a little sense of how to approach
the draft, what to expect, and it was it used
to be like background information. Now it's real time, tweetable
nuggets and streaming. Mike Mayox chat with the media on

(34:22):
Thursday at one o'clock Eastern. Right Thursday, one o'clock Eastern.
The fine folks of NFL dot com will be producing
and streaming it. Um there's live video, so you'll be
if he's talking about Genevian and Clowney, you know, you'll
get DV and clowny uh nuggets and video he doesn't. Yeah,
it's pretty cool. It's incredible what has become. Seriously, it
used to be just Mike talking and the media listening

(34:43):
and using it its background information or maybe using it
as a quote in a story leaving up leading up
to the draft. Now you'll know when he's on there
if some reason it slips your mind that uh, if
you're sitting at your desk at work and it slipped
your mind, or you're in a meeting like Chris Law,
no doubt will be Um, you just look down at
your phone and see your Twitter feed, it will blow up. Yeah,

(35:04):
it'll be trend I mean he he typically trends on
this day on Twitter. When he does the call, it
lasts about two and a half hours. It's he's the best.
Mike's the best at this. There's um you know, I
know others have been at it longer, and um, um,
you know clearly he's he's our guy, he's my guy.
So and and Bridgewater has just fallen off the planet.

(35:26):
He's fallen off the planet. And he's going to come
into the league with a major chip on his shoulder
and hopefully that will serve him well, it'll serve him
well wherever he gets a shot, because he's gonna get
a shot. And um, Brockman said earlier he could slide
back to thirty three in the Texas potentially. No, that
would be good if they get Clowney and Bridgewater. That
would just be Mike Mayock. And I quote he said

(35:48):
to you from what I saw in person, I couldn't
take him in the first round. Yea. And you know,
I just think he likes Mac better than Clowney. But
you can't take an outside linebacker number one over oh
I guess. But if he is, if he's like the
next Lawrence Taylor, how do you not do that? Well,
that would certainly throw things into a dizzy. And I'll
tell you what if if Manzil is available for the

(36:09):
Cowboys at sixteen, they have to trade up. I don't
think this anyway. I don't know. I don't know that
would be This is gonna be wild, It's gonna be
absolutely wild. But but nothing compared to what's about to happen.
I know, I know Brockman's left the room for a minute,
but he's gonna come back. May Maybe he's at him
calling right now. But um uh we've got a fun

(36:33):
guest coming in and again again just a heads up,
as Bobs, you know, I think walking up the stairs
in a few minutes, Uh, Bob saget. Great guy, fun guy.
Um he he's got a great sense of humor. And
he's nothing like the guy you remember from Full House.
He's a sweetheart of a man with a with a

(36:53):
real real twisted sense of humor. So so so take
so take the kids. I mean the in the Aristocrats,
the story I was gonna tell you before before he
sits down, you know, Um, I was at the the
Hefner Roast, the the Hugh Hefner roast in New York
City held. I think it was like September two thousand one.

(37:16):
It was two and a half weeks after nine eleven.
The city was still raw and unnerved, on edge. And
you know, word was that that Hugh Hefner what didn't
want to fly in for the roast? It was he
didn't he wasn't up for it. Everyone was wondering if
it was too soon for for everyone to gather and
just laugh and and do something silly. And the dais

(37:37):
wasn't Kimmel was the was the was the roast master,
and the dais was ridiculous. It was ridiculous. Colbert was
on the dais. Um other people are on the dais
where Steve Carell who I met that night, Correll, he
was on the Daily Show at the time. We were
in New York. Carson Daily was there, Sarah Silverman was there,
Jeff Ross was there, Donald Trump was there. I mean,

(37:59):
it was incredible, roast incredible. And then I'll never forget
when Gilbert Godfried stepped up there and and told the
most awful, off, you know, ill timed joke about you know.
I think I think the line was something along the
lines of, uh, you know, American or United as a
new flight to Los Angeles, it's one stop. The stop

(38:21):
is the Empire State Building. And that was the reaction
in the room, and it was people were like hissing, booing.
Somebody said too soon. You could even hear audibly say
too soon. And then he went into the old joke,
the aristocrats joke, which everybody and I didn't know the
aristocrats joke beforehand. It's like something that's from the the
old vaudeville days, or the old cat skill days, not vaudeville,

(38:41):
cat skill days where um, you know, the joke would
just be some sort of template joke and it depends
on you could go in the most off colored way,
blue work blue, you could do it straight up. There's
just different ways you could do the joke. And the
documentary is is different comedians telling the same joke but
in their own way. And um, Bob Saget told a joke,

(39:05):
uh told the Aristocrats joke in that documentary and was
so off color and so blue. That was the first
time I think that his true colors. If you will,
we're broadcast in a pop culture setting, and uh, you
know the guy that you were about to hear is
a little bit off color, sometimes just a little. So

(39:26):
leave the kids out of the room, Leave the kids
out of the room, and it's time for our kid
Brockman to come back. Because here's Bob all right. I'm
pleased now to have on the Rich Eyes and podcasting
a dear friend. I've upgraded you from friend to dear friend.
I'm glad he is. He is the author of Dirty Daddy,
The Chronicles of a family Man turned Filthy Comedian, a
book that's available on Amazon dot Com and in bookstores now.

(39:48):
And you look very very good on this cover. Bob Sagett,
thank you. That could get me an older woman to
fall from me? Is that how you chose this? Yes,
I wanted to find an eight year nine year old
woman to just fall in love with me, and and
thus this photograph was chosen because of that. Exactly. It's
all about spending the last years of her life mother,
That's the goal. Now did they did they go through

(40:11):
the did they have you hold your your chin with
your your thumb and four finger type author book? What
do they have you do? Nothing? Thoughtful? No? No, Rodan sculpture, sculpture,
head movement. I actually just took a slew of pictures,
you know, by taking, by being in photos, being on camera?
You know what your good side is? My good side?

(40:31):
There is one degree of the entire universe is my
only good moment. So it has to be I'm pointing,
but it has to be aimed, Yes, almost as a
brooder like target. Yeah, but more forward. You wouldn't shoot
me from the back unless I was in you know,
a movie that required that, of course, and you've you've
you've had that before. I did Broke Back the sitcom,
so I required Now, did you pitch that it was

(40:54):
a green lit ever and and I had a pretty mouth,
and nobody quit me. Yeah it was done by two
guys in a raft Productions. Okay, yeah, we didn't went camping,
not glamping. You've heard that's the new thing right now. Yes,
it's a glamorous camping where you know, well, that's how

(41:15):
It's the only way I've actually camped. Gary Shaling used
to have a joke, he said, Jews camp, but they
just have it catered, by the way. I just went
to something just like that recently. He went on camping
and it was all taken care of and it was
catered it it was actually catered. Where were you up in? Uh?
Near Santa Barbara. Near Santa Barbara. It was on the water.

(41:37):
I was with my lovely wife, who you know very well.
In fact, I met you through my wife. Well, don't
say it that way. That sounds it sounds like we
were I was a fluffer or something. I mean was
actually wait a minute, I'm memories hazy. You know, yeah,
it was through your wife. You're right that uh in
that endowed because one of us was yes, well I know,
uh and and and as I told you, guys at

(41:59):
the time off of this program. Your wife is a
porthold of friendship. Wait till she hears that. Wait till
she hears that. That's a sound bite. You don't even
have to use this interview. No, that's what she said.
She said, say how to Bobby for me, and then
I'll say, well, Bobby says hello back and called you
a porthole to friendship because we met through you. Okay, Yeah,

(42:23):
that's very important. A river runs through her, That's right.
We get very important to mention all of these things
in contact. How many camping helpers did you have? I
want to know that there was a camping butler upon
a rittle man. Yes, there was a camping but there was.
That was what her title was, camping butler. Yes, I
go single on these camping trips that with the butler

(42:43):
i'd be talking to. That's right. Was she? Uh she
must been fit because she was working on the boat. Uh,
there was she was. There was no boat, There was
no boat. No you needed somebody this game it was
it was no you show up, You show up and
uh in your car. You pulled up in your car,
no hike involved, No, no, you drove up. This is

(43:04):
Mr Football you parked, and the camping or glamping as
it's called, a real thing that's happened has happened. I
mean I didn't know if you're doing a bit because
Bob was no, I don't do bits or Bob no
never heard. By the way, Bits for Bob is the
name of my book, Conversations with my Father Tips right.

(43:27):
Uh yeah. And you pulled up in the and the
butler says, you know, you can leave your your belongings here,
and they would take it up to the tent. And
inside the tent was a queen size bed. Queen and
then they just do your broke back mountain stuff. No,
give you a full body massage. So there's a queen's

(43:49):
queen's eyes bed that you could stand up in. Is clamping?
What inspired the beard? There was a C you know,
the California C magazine with the don't is that named
after women? Know? The state of the lady on the
actually the cover. Look if you do, you watch it
like throw Mama from the train with lady and then

(44:10):
it just says CE magazine. You imagine what a male
magazine that would be. And you just to open up.
Is no one attractive? It's like maybe a couple, but
most of it's just throw mama from the train starts
right now. Not not pleasant looking at women. That's a misogynist.
You read that for the articles, Yeah, you do, ladies

(44:31):
and gentlemen. That's good, very good. The internet is a
wonderful thing. I had a similar thing happened, and it's
in the book. The book has things I shouldn't have done.
It's one of the chapters that it's it's a bit
of a bio thing, but it also is about the
computer is on my laptop heating my tests, and while
I'm trying to not have them so heated that they
produce a hard shell toward us cover and I'm worried

(44:53):
about the hard drive grinding sound that it's actually teeth
eating and chewing on my tests, which sounds uncomfortable for
the list right now. No, it sounds very I can relate.
You can because you have the laptop and it's warming you.
That's the process of this year and a half book.
That I kept that same laptop because I couldn't get
the same same sensation from a light one. I actually
took it back to the store to keep the grinding heat.

(45:17):
Nodding heating my nads dim sum warming package in inducing
writing Helper. So there's a chapter. I had to say
all that just to tell you about the chapter that
has to do with camping. And uh, there's a chapter
called things I Shouldn't Have done, and then the chapter
that follows it, I believe is called relationships I'd rather
not talk about now. That is you know, you will

(45:38):
know some of the references in it because you know
me for so many years. But the thing my camping
story was, excuse me, I had a woman from last
night stuck in my throat. Um sorry hairball um, the
as a feather bow. It just came out of that's
Johnny Silverman handed me that in New Orleans. So that

(45:59):
this this camping story was really simple. I've been a
single father for fifteen years because that's how my ex wife,
So please mention that everything. So she's not responsible for
my amazing daughters. But she is. She's perfect. Actually, she's
a great ex wife. And if you'd like her information,
I can. You know. I'm good as you know, I'm fine. Yeah,

(46:20):
you are happily. Uh that's great because you and I
met Susie through her, that's right, through a port hole,
and then you were at my bachelor party, the first
guest to ever appear on the show at my bachelor party.
Was amazing. But they continue is going to be very
short because I I t up things a lot, and
then it's a very short ending. Yeah, wait to have
bunts some wine, give her wine, tick her, let me

(46:42):
shake the house, show the house. And then it's literally
twelve seconds. It's like anything else you want to do?
Do you wanna watch Frozen again? What do you want
to do? Um? So, so what happened was we're camping
my three daughters, beautiful daughters. This is twelve years ago,
and were with friends that we're dear family friends still
are and we had it catered. It was it was

(47:06):
Shandling's joke is what you're saying. We had But we
were on a river. We were going Snake River to
Colorado River and so we were out under the stars
and uh, it was just beautiful. But I had had
knee surgery. So one night I took Viking in because
my knee hurt and I also had a lot. It's
a bad story. The thing I shouldn't have done it,
and I drank a ton of booze. We were singing

(47:28):
Beatles songs, my friend and I and then I told
my daughters, don't you know there's two bathrooms? You had
bathrooms hooked up in tents. There were no that we
didn't There was no plumbing. I mean I think it
stopped at plumbing. But there was a fantastic porta potty.
That's what I thought to myself, because that's was the
first thing that I visited. Because when I got out
of the car and parked it, he just parked and

(47:49):
then went to the bathroom. And then I went, well,
I had you know, it was a long drive. And
I thought to myself because I had not yet seen
the tents, I thought to myself, if the tent is
not good, I could actually sleep in here. That's how
nice the porter potty was. And you just can't lay
down in there right well, I mean I thought I
wouldn't be able to do it in a tent either,

(48:09):
you know. And I had not yet been and seen
the queen size bed and the ce magazine that was upstairs.
That's great, that comes with all your flights, it does.
It really was so to so you took vicing in
and this didn't sound like it was going to go
very literally had knee surgery. So I told my kids,
no matter what, I don't get up. It's dangerous because

(48:29):
it was to get to the and they had two
porter potties, one for one for p and one for Pooh.
They just I have to go and say. They had
two separate ones and they were tented um one for
They also made number one intent number two yes, and
the number two tent cover was so nice. I gave
it to a large girlfriend of mine as a as
a mumu but um. That night I had had some

(48:51):
booze and you don't mix anything, you don't take anything
or do anything. That's the best way to stay alive.
And I got up and someone who had given me
one of the first a long time ago. I had
never had an ambiance sleeping pill before they gave me one.
So I had vikan in ambient and Scotch and me
my kids to be careful. And about two in the morning,

(49:12):
I went into this retrofit bathroom and I split my
toe completely open completely. So I came moaning down a
hill on a riverbed with the help people that were
helping us. It sounds nice that the butler, the butler
and a couple of other workers that were wonderful people
that fed us and got all the boats. We were
three boats in a row going places like I don't

(49:33):
know what we were doing. It was the stupidest last
Emperor trip everything. And then they took care of my
toe and the smell of a night and I'm boozed
in on vicing in. Then they gave me two more
vicatin and then yeah for the pain. They bandaged me
up like a turkey drum matt and they gave me
some blue cheese dressing to soak it in. And then
I laid down and ninety minutes later we had to leave.

(49:54):
So they woke me, but I couldn't wake up. So
my kids were frightened to death that I was the
guy and we can bernis and their dad was speaking
of silvermane zombie dad. So they put me. I told
you it was going to be short, ending this story.
I am such a liar. No, this is this is
a great story, all right, It's almost over. So they
put me in the boat and they took me down
the river and they rocked me on the water, but

(50:15):
they dropped me down, but they took me for eight
hours and they took pictures of me just being and
they put a like Terry Kaiser exactly I had, and
I had, and I had exactly. I didn't even have
the Internet for that one, but I had an on
golden pond hat on and I had a shirt buttoned
up all the way like are the pictures in the book? No,

(50:38):
But the story ends the chapter and my kids say,
you forgot a couple of things, but I don't know
how you remembered any of them. But that was That's
one of the gleeful stories of one of my dumb antics.
That was my camping with money story. Well, there's a
couple of things about what you just said that I
want to revisit. Please. First things first, when you go
into your witness okay, when you go into I guess

(51:00):
imagine it's an Apple store. And and so you walk
up to one of those nice genius people who have
their you know, their name on a lanyard with the
mock iPhone with their name on it and the lanyard,
and you walk up them in a blue or green
T shirt and you said, listen, I'm not interested in
a computer based on megabytes or or wait, it's got

(51:22):
to be a certain warmth for my my package, my package,
And how how do you communicate that to someone in
a way that I just did or what can I
say anything? Yes, I say whatever you want. Um, I
walk up to them and I just take my balls
out and so they're out. So I'm standing there and
I say, look, I need these guys to be comfortable,

(51:44):
and then that we take it from there. And then
they're they don't they're non plus did you haven't? Do
you need an appointment a genius bar You're gonna walk
in and take your balls out? You don't need another one,
thing's for sure. I ain't no genius if my balls
are hanging out in the max store. Actually I do
make an appointment. No, I usually don't. And there's a

(52:04):
crisis because I thought my my baron, I said, actually
there someone was munching on my balls, and Baron von munchenhousing.
I don't know dumb references, but that were. But I
wanted to get the the mac Air, the lighter one course,
which has a I didn't know it had a plasma screen.
So I go home. This is all about my bag,
all of it. That's all. This is about, just trying
to change the junk to typing potion to write this book.

(52:28):
There's a year and a half. So you go sometimes
to your desktop, which is a large screen, or you
go up to your I was out at the pool
out smoking cigars. There's even a picture in the book
of me with my final laptop because there's a dedication
to my mom because she passed away. That's my dad.
My dad was My mom was not a bald man. Uh,
this is the computer that I finished on. So that's
a cigar and that's my backyard reflecting and it's page tote. Yes,

(52:53):
it is out there. So I took that into the
store and said, I've had it with this. I need
a light thing that. I said, well, i'll give you
the thing. So I turned around and I took it
like a man and I said, come on, genius, turn me,
turn me, not straight, and uh what? And then I
took the light one home and I wiped it and
then I got the computer out and uh and I

(53:16):
tried that laptop and it was so light, just laying
there on me like I was a TV tray in
a hospital. Right. It felt like nothing. I didn't feel
the grinding, there was no heat. It had a fan
in it that made it so light it almost flew
above me. It almost elevated like a hovercraft over my
sad purposes. Took it back. I said, look, this is

(53:36):
not heating my package. I want this gone. And the
guy smiled. He was laughing because I said, I'm writing
a book and my ball's gotta be hot for it.
And he took it back and and I said, it's
all full stuff. I wiped it again and I erased it.
It's like a few grand and I mean they took
it right back. And then I will admit, as I
finished the book, I got the newer version, and that

(54:00):
is better than this one. It's not grinded on my well,
you don't need that. It's you're you're not using it
for the creative process of writing. Not really, No, it's
just and now I'm just write other articles and stuff.
But I'm not doing this. I'm just wondering the name
of it. It's called Total Access, a Journey to the
Center of the NFL Universe, and it's about me coming
from ESPN and learning the NFL world and falling in

(54:22):
love with it and start helping start a network and
things that nature. But I'm wondering if the book would
have sold any better if I was concerned about the
temperature of my package, Bob, you know, and I'm I'm
just racking my head. Technology was different back then. Well,
you're a man of arts and letters yourself, Chris. I mean,
and and um law is a total hillbilly and you

(54:44):
could see back anything that is happy for him. What
do you think? Okay, unt noise, Sure you're definitely not
glamping out. No. But so I'm trying to recall from
my studies. I think Shakespeare, because it was the technology
was different back then. But when he was writing, he
had a young man cradling as well. Is that what

(55:04):
it was? It was Renaissance fair all the time, and
it was valor and you would just lift his coat
and that was your way of jousting. Um right, Yeah,
it was a different time. It was. It was a kinder,
gentler way to be to mount young men. But you
could see obviously he was described I would say fruits
of his labor, tony totally tiny little, great little leaves.

(55:26):
But he would use a I mean, he wrote a
pen he wrote to watch that. I guess he quilled it. Well,
that tells you right there, you want to tickle someone
hole with a quill, with a quill with a feather.
But I will say I do mention in this that
Ernest Hemingway, there's a thing. I never read this thing,
but because because I have had some book talks book talks.
But I'm glad that we're we're going through because I

(55:50):
never read anything from here. The conclusion is what read
the title of the conclusion, Bob missionary statement. It's a
missionary statement, and this is this is two paragraphs and
I've never I never. They're really about the ball cooking thing.
So it refers to him just cutting the chase. It's
a buzz kill for people that haven't read the book.
But the book is, it's how I talk. It has

(56:11):
stories a lot about death. It is about a huge
amount of death. My parents lost four children, and I
lost two sisters two or two before me, and my
mother just passed away, and my dad lost three four brothers.
So this is it starts with gallows humor, which gets
to me to how I could even do jokes like
the aristocrats, and it explains I don't know why I
needed to. I just I wrote the book like I'm

(56:32):
talking to a best friend that I'm messing around with
but I'm being real honest with Well, that's the best
part of that's the best way to go about it.
So it's a six hour conversation, which anyone has that
with me that usually killed himself immediately after. So this
just applies to what you just said. And I never
did a reading, even though I recorded the audio book, which,
oh my god, you gotta have a few losses for that. Wow,

(56:53):
I don't know how people can get through that. I
mean I did that myself for the book. Did you
have a few vikas? I did not know. I was
drug free for the entire process except for that one
forty eight hour night which you're pulling a you know,
it's like an adaptation where you're going crazy and you're
hearing voices of the people you're writing about, but they're deceased. Okay,
nothing to admit. So this is what it says. As

(57:14):
I wrote this book, a lot of people asked me
if I had a ghostwriter. The answer is yes. It
was Ernest Hemingway, and my house is full of his
ghost vomit and urine. Hemingway said something that helped me
get through this, my first book. There is nothing to writing.
All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
That's a real quote. Things are cyclical. As I finished
this book, I am reminded of how it began with

(57:35):
a laptop on my crutch. Hemingway did not have that luxury.
I have had the good fortune to warm my testicles
up while I write with a typewriter in his lap
for an entire book. Mr Hemingway would have been ruined
for whom the balls told to have and to have,
not balls, the old man and his crushed balls. So
I just wanted to read those. I wanted to read

(57:58):
those titles that I had invented because that's what he
would have gone, because he would have had a type
of the old Man and crushed balls. I went through
every Hemingway title to come up with those those ball titles.
So so uh for whom the balls told. No one
came to arrest me after this book came out, Not yeah,

(58:19):
not yet, not yeah. It's only I don't think the
Statute of limitations is run out. The Statute of limitations hot,
because I mean what I want that. I think you
definitely would the statue. When people say the Statute of
limitations I'm picturing some statue in front of a law
building that you might want to hump, right, right, So
is that against the law if it's late at night,
nobody sees you. That's like if a tree falls in

(58:40):
the forest and no one's in around, you can hump it. Yes,
you end up with you know what you end up with.
This would be like those video show jokes that used
to do a woodpecker. That's what you would have, because
you'd have a splinter. See, that's the kind of jokes.
That was eight years of having to jokes like that. Yeah,
so that's the question I want to ask you, Bob.
I've never asked you this, and I might as well
ask you now when you were going, when you were

(59:01):
doing your career that that folks got to know you first. Yeah,
the family in your house career, were you this person
screaming inside trying to get out? It was pretty verbal,
it was pretty outward. Okay, well but you're not in
your work you were. No, No, I had to do

(59:21):
I was, and I chose to do family television. Well,
so there was no double entens, right, even though I
did do that in the video show. It was all that.
But people didn't hear it or perceive it that way
because they did it with a smile. So I would say,
these clips are going to spew into your face. I
would say those things and people go, well, you're you know,
you're just doing a blooper show. But I was really

(59:42):
I had a kid dressed up as a centaur, a
fourteen year old boy. I'm actually having dinner tonight with
Tom Bergeron and Todd Thick. Todd Thick was one of
my writers. The two guys, Robert Arnot and Todd wrote
the video show. When I did it, I wrote eight
years of script and voiceovers. Look out, you know, look

(01:00:02):
at me? You know all that dumb those dumb bell
mel blank want to be voices who was like bugs,
Bunny and all the genius voices. And I guess the
point of the story was the centaur boy. I had
devised a fourteen year old boy and a half horse
costume to introduce clips about animals for the hour was

(01:00:24):
an hour show, We're gonna introduce animal clips, So I
have cent our boys said, Hi, cent our boy. This
happened on the Let's do anything like that, anything where
you can take a young boy and put a gust
and and he says, hey, Bob, I want to go
over here. I said, yeah, you guys, watch this and
I'm gonna go ride centaur boy over there. You said

(01:00:49):
this on America's Funniest Home Videos. I certainly did, and
I saw it and it is about as dangerous as
it could possibly be. I can't believe charges were not
so people were just not think No, I just thought
that I was playing a character and I would always
beg with my eyes to get me out of their
kind of people. Remember that that he's unhappy. I mean, no,
I'm just begging to be rescued from from the orb

(01:01:11):
of people getting hit in the nuts. But if it's
if you think about it, not too deeply, but if
you think about it, Bob, I mean, that's YouTube. Is
it is YouTube? That it was also a number one
television show is really cool. But but it is a
strange thing that and yet been and I look at YouTube.
I was I was spent the weekend with my daughter.

(01:01:31):
And while I said she was my daughter, but I
spent the weeken very young girl. But I but I
put out her dinner and paid for a room. Oh no,
that was my daughter. And we were looking at the
YouTube that are popular, and I realized what it was.
I loved about that show why people loved it When
it first came out, she was saying, have you seen
this talking baby thing? Have you seen this latest thing?

(01:01:52):
There's some lady getting swung around. It looks like there's
more abusive stuff on YouTube that just gets through without
a filter to anybody that we would never run on them.
But it's primetime. It's YouTube, but it's also spun off
into Tosh Point, Oh the Soup, all the shows that
have Yeah, I mean I was younger when I remember

(01:02:12):
watching it as a kid growing up and it was hilarious.
Remember do you remember centaur boy don't do in my house?
He's now on a horse. He he doesn't. He still
he was a real centaur, so he was half horse.
I always liked the Jackalope. Yeah, that was not on

(01:02:33):
my show. That was on the World America's Funniest People.
Jackalope was David Coolier. So that was my friend Aton Killer.
So it's a whole different show. It was a spinoff
of its own show that with somebody that you worked
with that I helped. I wanted him to get the
job bad because he was my friend, and so that

(01:02:53):
was the perfect thing to have. The two guys from
Full House that were comedians do goofy things and show
goofy people, so they would people would send in there,
how goofy they were. And the jackalope was a thing
that moved around quick, and Dave did the voice like
and then it would just run. You'll never catch me
there you go. Yeah, no kidding, Yeah, it's good, good stuff.

(01:03:14):
And you're and you're you're tied with all those folks
from the right, very very close, and Stamos are close,
and it's scary. Did not say his name and a sentence?
It's upsetting it if you if I don't say it
within a certain hour, I have a bit of a
that's how close you really are. Pill. And Dave Ki
is getting married and we're going to his wedding. I'm

(01:03:35):
taking two of my daughters and Stamos is going and
a couple other friends and my nephew. Uh, Dave Cli
is marrying. Dave has a farting problem. Dave really stopped farting.
So that's how it is. This his first wife. Uh no,
but this one has no sense of smell. That's not
even a joke. It would be kind of like me
marrying uh not men any disrespect. It would be a

(01:03:58):
gift for me, a deaf woman to would have to
listen to all this and then she would just go,
you know, I heard you? Is that bad taste? Not
at all? Not not not always been attracted Marley Matlin.
Oh please yeah, beautiful woman, beautiful, beautiful woman. So then
I guess the right question to ask you for a

(01:04:19):
man who has written a book Dirty Daddy, The Chronicles
of a family Man turned Filthy Comedian, is when did
you first realize you were a complete degenerate Bob? When
did you realize that? I didn't. I never thought I
was one ever, because when I was nine, I was.
Everybody was. My dad sents a humor to get us through.
All the deaths were just sick jokes, so that so
that we all started, well, it's gallows humor. It would

(01:04:42):
be like, you know, we were next to an ice machine.
We'd hear the ice drop and my dad would go, oh,
there's your grandmother, you know, So that's that's the kind
of humor it was. And we had, I'm telling you,
we had. We had two funerals a year for like ten,
like big family funerals. That's what the books are really.
But there's a good solid dick joke. There's two of
them on every page, no matter how much death is

(01:05:02):
going on. I fit two in because that is what
you do. You don't just hurt people. You throw in
just arbitrary addict. There's one where I was talking when
I did the book tour or a month ago. I
but you know how you sell these things. I went
to the ninety second Street wind in New York and
John Oliver moderated. It was wonderful. It was a really
fun talk back and our talk or whatever they came,

(01:05:25):
and he read a passage from it that I don't
remember some of it, and it was just about how
I was walking through the house and spotting and how
I was. You know, I have so much, I'm so
fertile that if I don't, you have to ulate. A
man has to and if you and I would without
meaning to. But that's dangerous because it's on the steps
and you could slip and fall on your own seat.

(01:05:45):
And then he goes, and then you go into something
completely serious, and then I go into philosophy of you know,
no one can define who you are. That's after like
two pages of seminal leakage, which is also the Indian
Reservation where I lived for a while. But it's a
it's a it's got a lot of weener humor, and
it also has I don't I don't mention names. I

(01:06:08):
dropped names, but I don't tell names. I don't because
obviously you, you've you, You pretty much have no everyone
in this town here bomb. I know that for a fact.
If it's a kind of a personal book of yours,
anything you put in there where you thought maybe shouldn't have,
or got a cock call from a family member or

(01:06:28):
anything like I left out a couple of friends. Um,
and she was in there, and I took her out
because they didn't want to hear like all that me
just blabbing about I think my patron causes SLARTERM Research Foundation.
I made a movie called for Hope that I made
years ago. I directed it and Lori Laughlin was on
full House and she helped said why don't you make

(01:06:49):
a movie about your sister? And all that stuff came
out and then I went and searched the book and
Lorie's name was not in it. And that's like one
of my dearest friends. So that's about as bad you
were thinking. Anything despicable come out either way. Yeah, but
there was a drunk driving thing I did that I
wrote in it because it's kind of a bookseller and
it's kind of a real thing that happened, and that

(01:07:10):
I was almost flipped the car and a friend was
in it and he remained nameless because he actually changed
his name to nothing afterwards. He's alive. He just decided
to have no name, no name. He just wanted to
literally removed him to have his name in print with mine,
so he has no name. Well, you brought it up.
Let's let's hit it because I've I've been to a
few of your charity events, Bob, and and they're quite moving.

(01:07:32):
And the best charity events that that that that you
go to are not only ones for great cause and
that they're moving, it's their personal and you you weave
your your entire fiber, your entire being into uh the
Scleroderma Research Foundation, thank you. And I've been there a
couple of times. As a matter of fact, there's been
some NFL network packages that's been thrown there and I've

(01:07:53):
been really the man, Listen, you are the man. It's
did you say that during camping? You are the man?
I did actually while glamping. I don't hate to correct you.
I hate to correct you, especially when i'm i'm i'm,
i'm I'm turning to your charity right here and it's
all about you. Um. But there's also a couple events

(01:08:14):
called uh uh what Hot comedy, comedy, hot cuisine where
you mix uh the it's great where you they mix
the best cuisine from whichever city in which you're holding
the event. San Francisco's chefs and and yeah, they're all
in Fenniger and Mary su Milicann incredible and straight and

(01:08:37):
border grill and and then some great comedians raised over
six hundred grand in San Francisco with Jeff Garland and
Train and Don Blue, who's a fixture of radio there
and I think he's a lighting fixtures are very nice. Man.
Garland is a great dude. Garland is a real special guy.
He has he been on this podcasting about Chicago Bears

(01:08:57):
a few times, getting getting get it. He's excited, you know,
he's the greatest. I like the White Sox. I sang
the anthem at the White Sox game on for you
really well, I didn't. It was a picture of me
in the paper going He's sang the anthem. I'm not
throw out the first pitch. I don't know that. I
think singing the anthems tougher than thrown out a first
pitt for me. You don't want to see me through.

(01:09:21):
Dave Wells is a mutual friend, right, So Dave I
went to his training camp for his cause, and he
had a benefit charity for someone he cares about. I
was in Tampa and I got to play ball with him,
and he just I can play. I could throw out
the first pitch if it was if I was playing
with him or something. I can't do it otherwise I

(01:09:43):
have But imagine, why why don't you throw out the
first pitch of a Padres game and half David Wells
catch it so you can actually throw it to him.
And this is all overhand is a little closer, and
you're Butler, you're camping Butler. Just carry it over to him. Yes,

(01:10:04):
that's possible. Bob would like this, Would you like some
gray pop? Please place this in the midst of that
gentleman over there, that centaur with the men. But I
had been the national anthem it's cool to sing that
and be able to do it. That's that's a hard song.
Are you a singer too? I sing in my stand up?
I've always well, of course we've done no. No, I've

(01:10:25):
seen I've seen you sing and you've got the guitar. Yeah,
I do it. My last special I was nominated for Grammy.
What a dumbad for me to say, especially people seen
national Anthem though, but nobody would. Nobody would and I
definitely wouldn't get in hominy for GM for that. That's
a good It's a hard song to sing. You just
have to state you can't mess it up and you

(01:10:45):
can't grab your crotch, which has happened at a San
Diego game. Yeah, speaking of its throwing out at a
San Diego she meant nothing but that, well, she didn't
have she She also didn't have the laptop. You know, no,
I would have that old kinds protected. I've already got
like a dart fader helmet on my helmet. My. You
know it's interesting to track a mouse. Well, it kind
of looks like your package. Am I wrong? People are

(01:11:06):
working mouses. Women are working mouses in a in an office.
I actually don't look at their eyes or try to
check their out their bodies. I just look at how
they hold that mouse that right that tells me what
is in store for me. Possibly if they hold that
mouse in a loving way, or if they ever sometimes
went in between turn it upside down and just cut
the mouse. They're not really working the mouse in for

(01:11:29):
a light's touching nothing. So so are you a right
click guy or a left click guy? That's an interesting question.
I've never been asked that. Yeah, I figured you'd, you know,
I'd wonder if there's one that I just want to
I wanted to work my mouse upside down and asked
me to turn my head and cough. That's what I'm

(01:11:50):
I want at this point in my life. I want
medical help. I just want to go. I'm actually gonna go.
I mean, I mean, I just lost my mom. But
I'm looking for young nurses. So I'm going to a
lot of places still as though she's alive and saying
I need a nurse. And she's about six, and she's
got to be really beautiful and very caring and loving,

(01:12:13):
and she's got to do everything. You know, she's got
to clean up and you know, do all the cleanage
and will she cleanage, cleanage, spongeage, wash it. And they'll say, well,
where's your where's your mom? Where does she live? Like, well,
was she passed away a couple months ago? And like well,
what do you need the nurse for? And then I
just give him that look, you know, do you know

(01:12:34):
I need a nurse? Has there ever been discussion that's creepy?
That's creepy. It is. I would never do that. No,
of course not. You were just you were just you
were just you were just spitballing there. That's what I
want somebody to do to me too. Yeah, that's it.
You know. They say that's riffing and coming up with jokes,
but there's another meaning to that. Hey, when come over

(01:12:54):
and spit ball for a while. You asked that of
the right person. You do, and you have to watch
Frozen again again and ask them if they like white
wine with ice cubes in it it. Oh my gosh,
we've never had a podcast like this ever, have you me? Oh,
we've had we've gone off the we've gone off the

(01:13:16):
rails many times, and we've had maybe yeah, how many
how many time codes have you written? Well, we have
to we have to have a conversation to see if
we have to bleep out the word balls and in
certain contexts, it's like it's like the old the the
the George Carlin joke. Right, well, there's seven things you

(01:13:38):
can't say and then there or or there's certain things
that you can't put in or can't be penetrating. But
you yes, hurts, but you can't. Yeah, the minute you
have a conversation about anything that might right evolve in
that in that respect, has there ever been a conversation
because you you were just on the Entourage set, right

(01:14:02):
might be in the movie, I don't know what the
cameo house are great cameos in the regular series, by
the way, it was fun, a lot of fun, and
it was not like my life. It's just you know,
me sending up my character. I just wish he didn't
have my name. Well, what happens, it does. Has there
ever been a conversation of a full house reunion that
ever happened? A lot of those and that's just not

(01:14:23):
gonna happen anytime it does, as they say forward, it
just doesn't doesn't happen. I'd rather just hang out with
everybody right, individually or a large group it's too much
and it's it's insane. What's happened with the twins? Right?
They're very successful and they should be. They're very their
their lined have you seen their clothing. I'm wearing it

(01:14:44):
under these clothes. It's really beautiful. It's like the nicest
clothes that exist. It's exactly what they would Butler would
put on you in camping if you wanted lamping. That's
what I lamping. That's what I still can't believe this
is a real thing. It is. Next thing was somebody
had a birthday partying it. I got one because I'm
a I'm a huge fan of this movie and a

(01:15:05):
group of my friends. It's one of those where we'll
just recite lines to all day, Dirty work, Bless You,
and it's one of those just underground, Like I it
kind of had a cult following after after the fact
that it didn't in already, like just kind of what
was that that like? Working on that film it was
quite quite fun and difficult to because the comedy movie

(01:15:25):
is it's really hard and it was and the writers
and everything, you know, they're Saturday Night Live oriented typewriters,
so everybody's it's guerrilla warfare. You got to make it
the funniest thing possible. So sometimes I did a great
job and sometimes I was just okay, I think in
my opinion, but I love the movie a lot. Chris
McDonald's so funny, and it's so funny. He's got the

(01:15:47):
little dogs. I think he's got his finger up that dog.
That was so funny. I almost pants almost each other
the first time. I think that's first time you've ever
had a self time coaching. So you know what happens. Yeah,
because you know we're we have the NFL shield at
the time. You know we represent the NFL. Yeah, so
we got I mean we we made a decision a

(01:16:09):
long time ago that we're just gonna have conversations. People
are gonna say what they're gonna say, and we'll decide
afterwards what the bleep out. And you might not be
able to say all the package stuff. You can say
that I think the package is good. B word might
be coming out. What's that. I don't think that's used.

(01:16:31):
I don't know. Think I didn't use them in a
sitious way. I just talked about you did, but we've
never Here's the thing of the conundrum. If you will
that's been presented by this conversation bomb is. We've had
conversations about balls many times. I mean, obviously it's a
football show, um, but we've never had a conversation about

(01:16:54):
balls being warmed by a laptop to provide a cree
of environment to write a book like Dirty Daddy that
you should go get on Amazon dot com and bookstores
near you right now. And so that we've never this
is this you're saying because of football, the balls are
mentioned all the time, carry the ball, but never in

(01:17:16):
the context of Dirty Daddy. The Chronicles of Family in
turn filled the comedian available most bookstores everywhere or downloadable
from anywhere if you want to hear more of this
kind of voice of course. Uhh yeah, we've never had that.
I mean we had last year when Wes Welker um,
uh had a fumble or I guess a muffed punt.

(01:17:38):
He had a muffed punch, Yes he did. We had
a muffed punt, and we had uh, we had Dennis
Miller against the Patriots. He had a muffed punt against
the Patriots in overtime. And um and and and the
thing that they and and when when players, when you
are receiving the punt and the punt drops to the
ground first, hits the ground. That happens with old age.

(01:18:00):
When the punt h it's the ground first, they scream
out the word Peter to tell everybody to get away
from the foot. Peter, Peter. It's the hot word Peter
that she screamed, Peter, Peter, get away from that's the
way it just Peter, get away from the well. I mean,
I'm explaining to you. It's it's not like it's not

(01:18:21):
like a playground sort of song. It's it may have
sounded like the way I did it, but basically it's
the it's the code word. It's the safe word by
whoever is receiving the punt if they if they're not
able to receive it on the fly and it hits
the ground on the fly, you're just adding to that.
I'm adding to all of this on the fly exactly,
and you scream Peter, Peter, Peter. So no one else

(01:18:44):
touches the ball. If I help, if I hear Peter Peter,
I'm not touching anything. That's correctly right. So, but at
least two peters, because if if the punt is muffed,
then then there's a lot of issues with the ball
being on the ground and people screaming Peter because they
didn't catch it on the fly. So I mentioned this
to Dennis Miller and what was his line? He said

(01:19:05):
something Peter and Muff in the same sentence, reminds me
the area for a free lover. I mean, you know so,
So we've had conversations like this before on this show.
Uh with with with funny folks, with comedies, Muff punt.
You don't even want to say there's does nothing good
about it could come out wrong. What about if you
even want to go to a friend's wedding and you're

(01:19:26):
wearing a cumber bund and they call it a cumber boond,
but it's it's wearing Germany. I guess I think it
is a German word cumber bunds on top of the
you and you know that for those scoring at home,
did you did you watch Frozen again? And her sister

(01:19:47):
is an ace lot she came over and her mom's
a ard vark. So anything that has the that alliteration,
of course, but the cooper boond, the cumber bund, whatever
that you wear around your stomach to basically cover up
your your gumin toashing, which is a word I made up.

(01:20:10):
That's no no index, there's no nothing, no no, none
of that. We decided that why why do that? But
the crumbs are supposed to get caught. It's supposed to
catch crumbs. That's what pleats go upwards. But if you're
a non crumb catcher, which I am not, if I
am out in a tuxedo and I have my cumber
boon around my waist in my own Fannie pack banks

(01:20:34):
holding in kind of way clipping in the back because
it has a clip. If it's a the old fashioned
coomber Boone's cumber buns were tied, they didn't have the
little clasp like we have in our modern day. Ties
are made for cumbern technology and really exploded and upside down.

(01:20:55):
If you don't have the crumb catcher upward, then the
crumbs are meant to just go to the floor. Yeah,
and I believe that if you're cumberbund is that uh
you got that around your waist right above your your
sackage package. You want the crumbs to go just hit
the floor. Let gravity work. Interesting. I did not know
any of really interesting problem that would have been so

(01:21:17):
much more different if I had known which By the way,
the last time I wore cumberbund Who were you on
prom with? Oh gosh, this is Kara Henderson's favorite story
before Uh, Rochelle Selman, Rochelle, Rochelle. Were you in the hum? No?
We I think I think I think we. I think

(01:21:39):
we watched Escape from Which Mountain together back in the day.
From which mountain was? This was a long time ago.
I forgot. I don't even remember the mountain. But no,
this was. Yeah, that's who I and I worked a
double coupon days at path Mark to pay for the event. Yeah,
double coupon days. Oh where path Mark? Where? Which one?

(01:22:02):
I was a Philliate pantry Pride food fair. I worked
a path Mark and um in Staten Island, New York.
I think it was on Highland Boulevard in stantn al On,
New York. And uh, you know, work the carts got
all the because you know, people will just take the
stuff to the car bob and leave their carts around
willy nilly. That's right to this day, to this day,
whenever I cart to the car, always returned the cart.

(01:22:23):
I don't just leave the cart by the side sometimes
if I don't have time, I'll put it up on
a thing, so don't roll away herb the cart. And
if it took no funny cart wheel, that had a problem. Anyway,
it's a game card. If you will, I will uh
get a counselor and I will have a a piece
made for it, an extra like I would have a shoe.

(01:22:45):
If you call a triple a is that you do
call a cart cobbler and they put a piece of
wood underneath the cart. Cart h question, go funny wheel
to have it be able to function with the rest
of the carts and not feel out of place. Giver Bob,
but I've always known that about you. I don't think
the carts should be punished for um ladies and men

(01:23:08):
that bashed them into things. That the reason the cart
has that go funny wheel, which has been a comedy
premise for many many comedians since comedy began and carts
began cards in comedy right, The reason that that happened
was because they were mistreated. Those cards were treated bad.
They were bashed into curbs. There's no way you can
chip a wheel and flatten a wheel unless you let

(01:23:31):
it roll. Maybe as an employee when you're catching them
all at the end of the night. The cart catcher
he needs to run through the parking lot and he's
about sixteen or seventeen. It's his first job. He's got
thirty carts and the thirty cards are going full speed
and it's two in the morning and he's trying to
close up after he did the forklift in the pallets
and moving everything around. Right front cart that's got forty

(01:23:54):
carts behind it. That wheel is doomed. That wheel didn't
expect it didn't see coming right. Left front wheel is
flattened beyond recogniz Is that in the book? That's your
next book? Going to open the next book with Lord
Loughlin and a wheel that's been hurt. You can go
to the Apple store and get yourself the hottest grinding

(01:24:16):
is computer that you can find and the fine one
that actually has like a mouth underneath it. You look,
you turn it upside down and it's just an open
faced instead of the Apple symbol. Yeah, this looks like
your worst nightmare of of why did I go out
with her? Underneath it and maybe it smacks its lips

(01:24:38):
right when you're about to pay for it. Dirty Daddy.
The Chronicles of a family Man turned filthy Comedian Bob Saget,
Go go to Amazon dot com. Get it now. It's
a lot of fun. I'm sure, because again I would
have I would give the personal testament to it. Um
you you're They didn't get it. They didn't get it
in time, and didn't get in time. I don't lie

(01:24:58):
in you, but I've love. I'm sure I know you.
I've known you for a very long time. I know
who you are. I mean, I'm a responsible young man.
But like I said that, this is well, I mean,
here's the thing is that this is who you are.
You're you're a funny guy with a twisted sense of humor,
but it's steeped and obviously family tradition. You're a family guy.
You're a good guy. You're a guy who cares about

(01:25:21):
charity and the charitable aspects of your life. And your
friends love you. And uh, if that's in this book,
which is what I'm sure this book is, then you
should go get it. That's really nice's true story. Should
get it. You should go get we should all go
get it. Dirty Daddy The Chronicles of a family Man
turned filthy Comedian and how many help can people, um,
help the scourge of sclero derma. Where can people go

(01:25:42):
to help find out more about this disease and and
donate tons of money thank you to it. They can
go to s r F cure dot org and then
um that's it. And it just shows you our website
and shows you how what doctors were connecting and who
we're funding. We're funding a lot of places where we
made over thirty million dollars in the past twenty five years.

(01:26:03):
So it's we're funding Johns Hopkins score Room Center there
and us UCSF and Stanford and we're doing another benefit
June five and Vegas at the hard Rock. I mean,
that's a good one. Wrong place at the at the
house was at the Mandalay Bay. That's where it'll be.
And and then I'm doing and people can and and
people can get tickets. You can get tickets or table

(01:26:26):
from this from our site. Your Los Angeles one. The
last one that I was at, Kimmel was the m
C right Kimmel m ceed and uh who Kimmel was
there and and you had had you late night cig Ferguson.
Ferguson was there, and um, who am I? Who am
I blanking on. I'm I looked around, I'm like, it's
Conan O'Brien. It was like Conan was not at that,

(01:26:48):
not at that one. He was there. I'm telling you
had like every late night show my guy minus Leno
in the Los Angeles areas standing in one spot. It
was Conan, you did, He's so sweet. Conan was there,
Kimmel was there, and Stands was there, Garland did stand up.
Garland did Jeff Ross do stand up? Jeff Ross was there.

(01:27:11):
Ross has been on this show twice. And um and
also now that I'm I'm here, I'm back again. Um.
Bill Bellamy did stand up because his mother in law
had passed away from store Derma and um, it's very
very nice. And Jimmy Kimmel did the auction with me.
That's right. Kimmel was there, and it's just like fresh
from Hollywood. He came straight from from doing a show.

(01:27:32):
He's wearing the same suit. He's a good guy. That's
his hometown. Right, Yeah, that was Los Angeles. This is
right here. It was any late night show Atlanta was
the only late night show network, late night show host
based in Los Angeles who wasn't thinking he's a part
of this too. He's on the cover of your website, right,
he does does do stuff, he does do. Yeah, he

(01:27:52):
has done benefits for us before. And um, it's unbelievable.
The good man, the comedy grind that he's that he
just I mean, and what you do too? I mean,
I I did it for three years in college. That's
the toughest thing I've ever had to do, and it's
the thing I respect the most. Truly. What would you
do is really cool? I mean, well, I mean, I'm

(01:28:13):
you know, America's favorite pastime. You know everything about it.
I don't even know how to tie. If my football
shoe laces up, that's call them football shoes. What are
they called? What are those but the shoes? Will a
guy go, I gotta go get my cleats? He won't say.
He won't say, I gotta go get my football shoes.
I have to lace up my football shoes for my practice. Definitely.

(01:28:36):
M I mean, that's one way to put it. That
would be one way to put it. And what do
you call that thing where you're junk showing that has
a has like a hard back book in the back
of the Apple store. Oh, the pants they wear their tights.
I gotta go put on my tights. No pants, they
say pants, Jersey Jersey, I know jersey, shoulder pads. I understand, yes,

(01:28:59):
he did. They just say pads that if they say
shoulder pads, pads, helmet, helmet, Still this helmet when I
use that every day, no matter what, has my helmet?
And then watch Frozen again. I can't wait to love
that show. I don't know how it ends. That's the
joke is gonna love the most. Listening to him, I've

(01:29:20):
seen it. I've seen it twice. I don't understand it,
and I can't get to the end. You can't know.
I get busy. What did call the singer a Dell
do z Ese? Poor guy? He must present again? What's
that big song from Frozen? What was it? Let it go? Oh,
that's what Dave Koyer does. What do you mean he

(01:29:41):
lets it go? It just rips them? Yeah, Jesse and Jesse.
But I don't know why I should have to correct
you with full house trivia. I mean, I apologize, that's terrible.
I don't know what football pants are, but I can
tell you what Jessie and the Rippers saying Bob's John Travolta.
Name is Brooks ci Gardener. They put it through a

(01:30:03):
language transfer. Build a whole world like it's like Avatar.
They built a whole the whole planet. The whole planet
is based on his mpar one man's eight seconds, Bob,
this was great things. I love seeing you and you
have the headset. Take it with me in the course.
It's yours to keep. Can we keep talking all the time?
We could talk enough. I don't think, man, you're you're

(01:30:27):
a man with many many traits. Any bachelor party stories
before the first thing. I don't talk about those things.
So anyways, I'm doing this girl, and I'm not like that.
Actually I talk about stuff, but I don't do it.
And then people will like, do weird thing. So they'll
show me pictures and they'll go, hey, look what I
was doing to my girlfriend. I'm like, what I don't want?

(01:30:48):
I really am not like this. I just joke about
I don't want a visual dude. Yeah, but look at her. No,
you're demoralizing her and are you done with her yet?
Because I'm interested. That's the way it goes. Does she
have a sister? Does she want to watch Frozen? I
gotta get something new besides frozen. And I got some

(01:31:11):
some really good truffle pizzas from the freezer. Where'd you
get them? Oh my god, frozen truffles. I love truffles. Yum.
That's a good go to move. It's a good go
to move. Do you like goat cheese? Honey? Dirty Daddy?
The Chronicles of a family man turned filthy comedian Bob
Sacka thanks for coming on this program, like having me.
I think it's like that sound like the cats are predator.

(01:31:33):
This is terrible. It's okay. Bob's a good man. Everybody
go by Bob Sacking everybody. I don't even know where
to begin. Rich if you don't see it me a draft.
Do you know why my superiors have come? They've given
me that bad Absolutely? No, he was great. That was
that was very funny stories. I'm not gonna be able

(01:31:55):
sure if I'm gonna be able to walk into the
Apple Store and look at all the genius and places
or a mouse ever again? Camping? What else? Oh? Man, Bob,
he's a good man. Seriously, go to that charity. What
a horrible disease Sclera dermot is and it's it's it's
a disease few people know about, and it's it's brutal,

(01:32:17):
it's terrible, And he's a good man. His sister passed
away to it, and he's been dedicating so much of
his time to to um to getting awareness for the
disease and money thrown at it. So he's a good man,
good old Bob Saget. Alright, So walk me through next
week long. When I stroll in to so the NFL

(01:32:38):
offices next Tuesday, what happens for mock draft? I mean
the mock draft before or after our meeting. The mock
draft is after the meeting. But Monday we're taping the
television special of the show, which Brockman will be back
here slicing and dicing with a new editor. When that's
on Tuesday night. Also, that's gonna air Tuesday night. You're
gonna be up against it. I apologize the same thing

(01:32:59):
as last. It's the only the only way we can
get it done. Yeah, if you want to do it
on location in New York, Draft week Monday is the
only Dame. Well, I don't want to throw our our
guests out yet. We can throw it two out, we can,
we can, we can, we can throw two out. We
can throw two out. Yeah, you sure, because one of
them we don't want to throw the name out. If
the name is not not not confirmed, we can throw

(01:33:22):
one of them out. That's what I'm saying. Let's not
throw any names out. Tracy Morgan's one of them. Tracy
Morgan is on the show next. I figure if the
events in thirty Rockefeller Center, we should have Tracy Morgan exactly.
And he's got a new comedy tour coming out as well,
so he's gonna probably be in a city near you
guys at some point soon. They're always hilarious. So that's uh,

(01:33:45):
that's gonna be next week. But anyway, that's Monday. We
forget about Tuesday. I walk in I'm just trying to
get through my schedule. Tuesday, I walk into three Park Avenue.
Want to have a meeting. No, Tuesday, you're gonna commit
at twelve thirty, okay, get wardrobed up for mock draft. Well,
I'm gonna come in a little bit before that because
I don't want to announce where and when I'm going
to be in New York City. I don't want to

(01:34:06):
telegraph that to people. But that's okay. So Tuesday I
walk in the building, and I and I and I
do your thing first, right. Yep, that's the eight of
you guys plus Mike Mack picking four teams each. You
have the third overall pick for the Jaguars. Again, I'm I'm,
I know what you want to do, Rich, I know
what you wanted to They should go Johnny Manziel. But
I'm not in the meeting rooms. I'm not the one

(01:34:27):
sitting there thinking what's best for their team. I just
think what's best for that city and that franchise and
that division. You're gonna have Andrew luck out there, and
for a franchise that I know. There's two ways to
to to to get your team back to prominence. A
slow burn where you build for the long run and
hope for the best and keep getting better and better

(01:34:49):
and better and better, and then you win games and
then you shove it down people's throats and that's how
you got to get attention paid because respect has been
earned in that regard. I understand that. And another way
to go is to make a humongous splash and hope
for the best and and this team, this team needs

(01:35:09):
to take the tarps off of certain parts of that building,
and we talked about it last week in a way
I think we was on this show. It might have
been a different show that I was on a radio show.
But we talked about the schedule last week. And I
know our schedule show made some people's head pop off
their next because we really got deep into it with
some arcane issues and matters about the schedule and networks

(01:35:33):
and what have you. But Week one we talk about
Seattle hosting Green Bay. Week one, we talked about San
Francisco opening up in Denver, Andrew Luck visiting Peyton Manning
on Sunday Night Football, the Falcons and the Saints opening
this season against one another. We talk about those games. First.

(01:35:57):
If Jacksonville picks Johnny Manziel, suddenly those four games are
joined by Jacksonville at Pittsburgh. There's no question about it.
Suddenly Jacksonville at Pittsburgh, which nobody's talking about right now,
and with all due respect to Khalil Mack, nobody will
be talking about that game between now and then Jacksonville

(01:36:22):
at Pittsburgh. You choose Johnny Manzel, we're talking about that game.
We're promoting that game. You can put you can put
a D D kin Kabwala on that field for Game
Day Mornings, Week one show. Right now, she could book
her ticket four live updates because she she she knows

(01:36:43):
that Steeler organizations she's usually are go to reporter for
Steeler games. She could she could go right now, and
anybody with a camera, anybody with a camera in Jacksonville, Florida,
should call Harvey Levin right off the bat at t
MZ or whatever for that phone number is an offer
their services because that's exactly the type of star quality

(01:37:04):
that's coming to town, and people follow him around and
that's what happened. The paparazzi is gonna be coming to Jacksonville,
but we saw how that faired in Denver and they
shipped them out. Tebow have different people can actually pay.
But when it becomes a side show something, I mean,
it's apples to apples when you're talking about quote unquote
side shows distractions. It's apples to oranges when you're talking football.

(01:37:27):
I think, I mean, so Manzel, what he can do
is yes, in a Tebow manner and a t O manner,
get eyeballs, sure, But I think a winning loss matter.
I think it's a different ball of wax. I don't know,

(01:37:49):
but I need to do a little bit more homework.
I know the last few weeks I said, you know,
I know I'm not ready for that. I'm stepping back.
I'm stepping back, all right, call it a tease. Und
I can't wait for next Thursday. Thursday night, eight o'clock, Camston,
where I think we're on the air all day long.

(01:38:10):
My call time got moved up. Normally they throw us
out there for nine hours, but but uh, some people
around this building and I thanked them, decided to keep
some blood in the stone. And we're on the air,
I think from I think the Mayak and myself and

(01:38:31):
everyone else gets on the set at six eastern, so
two hours pre game for us. But we're on the
air lodge from Ratio City Music Hall all day. So
Tuesday we do that mock draft in our meeting when
when again it's just gonna be essentially Charlie Yok who's
going to be in the main chair, everyone else, Knock Merian,
Chris Works are producing staff. Uh, they're gonna be sitting

(01:38:54):
obviously at this table too, and we're gonna hear we're
gonna basically here, Um, Mayo, you know, Mayok is going
to be our guy, and you know we're gonna listen
to him. That's the way that that's the way this
is gonna go. And then after Mayok talks, we'll hear
from Charles Davis, will hear from some other people, and

(01:39:16):
you know, that's the way the meeting is gonna go.
That's my Tuesday, right, that's your Tuesday Wednesday. You're not
a show SETH Myers. Yes, I'll be appearing on SETH Meyers,
but the previously guests, I don't know if it's so
the same. Sarah Jessica Parker is the first guest that night.
My wife's very excited about that, So Mike can't wait

(01:39:38):
to meet her. Oh, you're coming by. You didn't tell me.
I thought I thought that I didn't know that invite
was extended. So um, there you have it. Good stuff.
And um I hope to speak with the commissioner next
week for our show, and we'll see if that happens.
We're also going to take that mock draft show we've
done in the past three years and we're gonna make

(01:39:59):
it a podcast. People really enjoy it. We've done it.
It doesn't really well. I hope to speak to the
commissioner who's a colleague in the National Basketball Association. Adam
Silver deserves kudos. I know we don't talk about other
sports mostly on this show, but um, the Donald Sterling
affair and the NBA is one of those stories that
leapt from the back to the front pages. Um it's

(01:40:21):
Donald Sterling was unofficially before all of this, the worst
owner in the history of American sports. He's now officially
the worst. The worst period when you get yourself banned
for that sort of stupidity and awful, awful comments. Yeah not,

(01:40:45):
and the NBA did it. You know, Adam Silver right
out of the bat, right. I mean, you can't compare
the two. If you remember when the when our commissioner
first took the job, is his inbox was filled with
pac Man Jones in Vegas, Chris Henry h He's it
was filled with a lot of player conduct issues. He
came down hard, he did, and the players have been

(01:41:08):
had a problem with him ever since. And in this respect,
if Adam Silver didn't come down hard, the players would
have had a problem with him forever. And he had
to do it. He had to do it, and I'm
glad he did it before the Clippers home game Tuesday night.
I'm going Tuesday. It'll be interesting to see. I mean, obviously,
he made his original money as a lawyer, sterling, and

(01:41:29):
that's probably what he's gonna do. Two and a half
million dollar fine, lifetime ban and and it's like the
Wicked Witch is dead in that Clipper organization. He's not
allowed in the building. So it will be interesting to
see what happens. And I hope Magic Johnson buys the
damn team with a that's the rumor here in town.
Is that a rainbow coalition as they're calling it, with Magic,

(01:41:51):
I'm going to buy that teams a group that owns
the Dodgers. But I don't know if Magic might put
it together. I don't think Magic could put his name
on a team. He's a Laker back to San Diego
and then that'd be great. And he's a Laker. He's
a Laker. He can't own the Clippers to San Diego
and he can take in the Seattle. I heard that rumor, yes,

(01:42:13):
on Monday. Well, Los Angeles shouldn't lose the team. These
Clipper fans, I mean, talk about Clipper fans have just
been hard because now they have a championship contending team
losing the most ever since Sterling took over in eight one.
There's no franchise in any sport has lost more games

(01:42:35):
than the Clippers. And and every time they drafted somebody
they would get hurt. Handy Blake Griffin who's turned out
to be great, but got hurt his so he finally
got started year one. It was one and done. Basically,
it was finished and this town has been dying for it.
I'm glad they didn't boycott the games, the players, because
it's it's bigger than them too. That there's there's families, work,

(01:42:58):
vending vendors, they're My interview was this, and I a
lot of people are like saying they should have boycotted
or whatever. They don't play for they play for Donald Sterlings.
They play for their families themselves. That the coach there
sit exactly Doc Rivers threatening not to possibly coach or
being the executive following this season. He's handled it. He

(01:43:22):
has handled it fantastic. Please, I mean he has handled
it just aces. As far as I'm concerned, I had
no problem with these guys playing. They got I mean,
what all season long you go through the grind have
to have. And now it's now you're in the playoffs,
and then you find out this tape has been out
there since September and it comes it just happens to

(01:43:45):
be released during the playoffs, and now you supposedly, you know,
you can make your stand in so many other ways.
I'm sorry. I know there's a lot of sports fans
that said they should never have showed up. Well their
defense and show him in the first half of this week,
but um of that game, you know before it was

(01:44:09):
as if they didn't show up. But long story short,
I just felt the need to touch upon this since
it's a major sports story. It's international. Folks internationally have
heard about Donald Sterling, horrible person. We knew that already
based on court documents, and it's been it's been. It's
been the the open secret in this town for years

(01:44:33):
on Time dot Com like saying, what are we surprised
about so so for years and now now the Clippers
are finally free of this man, and hopefully Game five
can be played without any of this stuff being lorded
over the players and coaches on and and by the way,
the entire NBA, the games. Even when I'm watching them

(01:44:54):
other games. Well, the heat, I was sitting there other games,
I'm sitting there watching it, and I honestly kept thinking
of Donald Sterling as I'm watching the games. And I'm
sure you know you even heard it this week. There's
no question the commissioner of our league, Bud Selig, obviously,
Um Bettman. Any commissioner in any league has to have

(01:45:17):
the conversation with membership. But just taking the pulse check, guys.
I'm not saying you believe this. I'm not saying you're
doing this. I don't know what's going on your personal
lives where you might be doing something, you know. I mean,
that's totally confusing to so many people too. Is there's
a wife and a mistress and all that stuff. I mean,
what I'm messing? Me? What a mess? Just checking, Just

(01:45:40):
taking the pulse check, guys, making sure you're aware what
you're saying and who you're saying it to. Just wanted
to say that, and uh, that's all, So go about
your business. There's no question, however, the commissioner of whatever
league cares to uh verbalize it, or how however he

(01:46:03):
cares to verbalize it, that's what that's going to be happening,
because it's just like there, but for the grace of
God go on in the same way that every team
in every other league after Aaron Hernandez got arrested, when
did their due diligence? Want to make sure, guys, this
isn't happening in our house. I felt the need to

(01:46:25):
bring that up. No, definitely, So what other housekeeping do
we have? Do we have any other housekeeping? Whatever happened
to the international uh winner of our Pick Hum contest?
Or was it the playoff challenge Fantasy Kind? It was
the weekly Pick Hum contests. We're bringing this out in
the open before we close the show. Jacob Jacob Yacub,

(01:46:47):
I believe in for from Vienna. There's no question just botched.
His name mangled, and I'm sure it just got mangled
about three weeks ago, maybe four now. We we pre
taped him a week early for for a podcast. He's
never made it on the air and he's yet to
hit the air wave. It didn't go into any show,
as I recall, the two of you were present for

(01:47:08):
the interview, and no one brought it up either that
it hadn't made it into the show yet until I
kind of mentioned it. You know, I got a couple
of tweets about that reason. That's actually how I were
calling too, because I got a tweet. Um, I went
on that site survey cave filled in the week we
were going to do it? Are you throwing? He had
no idea? UM, So uh, Jacob, Jacob, if you're out

(01:47:29):
there listening, we'll get your interview in um when we
come back from draft. We still have it. It was
a good chat, um and uh, we haven't forgotten completely.
We'll do it after the draft. After the draft. Speaking
of the draft, Ritch, I'm working on a column from
my own site. I looked back at ten years of
the first round, first round picks one through thirty two,

(01:47:50):
and I looked at the best and the worst pick
and for each team, for each slot in the last
ten years. Do you want to give us a top
six four? In case you're wondering that according to you,
according to me, so say the best number three overall
pick of the last ten years Larry Fitzgerald in two

(01:48:10):
thousand four, the worst number third pick of the last
ten years, Tyson Jackson in two thousand nine, And so
I went best and worst. A couple of honorable mentions
because obviously number three, Matt Ryan was the number three
overall pick, Joe Thomas was a number three overall pick.
Obviously those are great pays in the week. So I
went down one to thirty two, and that's gonna be

(01:48:31):
live this week on Chris Brockman dot Com. Al Right,
now you go, very well done. It's a good idea.
It's a good idea. People around here should be thinking
about that sort of stuff. Dot Com. That's what you
gotta do. You gotta nuts, you gotta you gotta send
that over. I am writing for myself, and I'm gonna
say I'm almost done. I'll be done writing tootct. He's

(01:48:55):
not contractually obligated. That's none of my job discription. I
just do it for myself. So send it over. If
we get it up dot Com, I'll get it on
the site. Love okay, thanks, shoot it. We'll see if
we'll see if you have that power law. Come on,
I wield, I wield is what he said. I wheeled.

(01:49:16):
Come on now, boh, somebody was pissed about us about
Larry Fitzgerald dropping some spoilers. What am I supposed to do?
Shut him up? I mean, what am I supposed to do.
Roger said about what he said last week, it's up
to you. You got twenty four hours. It's very true,
and drafting has been out three weeks. Somebody was like,
you know, you're horrible for with your spoilers this past week.

(01:49:39):
You didn't give any headstuff. Fitzgeralder just mentioned I mentioned
Boardwalk Empire to him, right, because he's been on this
show Santa much. He loves it, and I was lamenting
the fact that they've announced it's one more season left.
And he responds to about with Game of Thrones and
I'm like, yeah, you like that show and he starts
dropping all these spoilers. What am I supposed to do?
Tell the best number three overall selection of the last

(01:50:00):
ten years of the NFL. Trap that he's not allowed
to say that stuff. You gotta you make a great point.
We did definitely get a lot of what am I
supposed to do? And then ragging on you law for
the you know U K here I come and we
mentioned yeah we're going to Ireland. I got so many
tweets from people saying, you know, Ireland is not UK.

(01:50:22):
I know that's the choke, the joke, that's like when
I make jokes about so and so is rolling over
their grave, but I always pick a guy who's still alive.
That's the joke I tweeted out yesterday. But Israel Thomas elite?
And right I saw, I tweeted out that Earl Thomas
deserves to be the highest page safety. He may be

(01:50:43):
the best defensive player in the league. And and I
got inundated. And the tweets that I've been sending out
that I think are profound have been getting on average
twenty five retweets, thirty retweets, maybe favorite at fifty times
times if if it's something that's particularly enjoyed, guess how

(01:51:05):
many times this got retweeted over? And why? Yes, here's
the story. I'm gonna I'm gonna frontload this. It's you know,
obviously it's something that it's a water cooler discussion, But
this is something I'm gonna bring up now, and we're
gonna keep our eye on it throughout the year and
certainly next year. Everybody views Seattle as that niche spot

(01:51:32):
in the Pacific Northwest with those crazy fans who love
to travel, right, that's what they are. They happen to
win the Super Bowl for those crazy fans and that
niche town up in the Pacific Northwest. Why isn't Seattle
considered a national team, an America's team like Green Bay Pittsburgh.

(01:51:58):
We always talk about Dallas being up from sea to
shining Sea. Well, maybe we should start talking about them
being one of the most popular teams in the National
Football League in America. It's not just we're but we're
all thinking of still Seattle's just this town. I mean,
they haven't been good for a while, but these fans,
boy do they love their team. They're the loudest up there.

(01:52:20):
It's very difficult to win. You even hear about how
the NFL gave them all these nationally televised games, but
the only one that's in Seattle is the opener. And
a lot of people think the reason why the rest
of the games are on the road is because the
boat racing factors. The question is, maybe they're just really

(01:52:42):
popular and we shouldn't start talking about them. Is just
this niche team anymore? I'm throwing stuff out that maybe
it's just a bun. Maybe it's just everybody with a
Twitter account in Seattle starts tweeting about it. I don't know,
but they seem to be everywhere they were. They were
in Arizona, they were in Arizona like crazy, they were

(01:53:06):
in New York City. Does the entire city of Seattle
travel to Arizona New York City? Or do we just
happen to have a team that is popular everywhere. They're
a likable team. Pete Carroll's a likable coach, Russell Wilson's
a likable This is something that should be discussed and

(01:53:27):
I kept on as we moved forward because it's it's remarkable,
how Rabbi. I mean, the fan base is rabid, They're crazy.
Maybe there's just a lot of them everywhere, and maybe
Seattle over the last two years with a quarterback like
Russell Wilson and a coach like Pete Carroll and a

(01:53:47):
bunch of guys were fifth, six, seventh rounders, maybe they're
connecting with with football fans who are looking for a
team to like. It could be a front running aspect.
I don't know, but I think just viewing them is
that crazy niche oriented fan base might be a little
played out and also underestimating their national appeal. You mentioned

(01:54:13):
people were saying J. J. Watt they think is the
best player. I understand that J. J. Watt not even
the best eleven overall pick in the last ten years.
You have the chan dot com everybody did all thirty two. Well,
I got a lot of you the world. Thomas isn't
even the best player in his secondary mentioning Richard Sherman,

(01:54:35):
who is about to cash into you know what, it's
it's fine water cooler stuff. My opinions, mine, yours is yours.
That's great. I'm just I'm just saying that everybody's still
talking about Seattle. Ah, you know what, they really went
up there. They don't really win anywhere else on the road,
and those fans are crazy. Sure they travel, but they're
still Seattle. They're not Green Bay, They're not Pittsburgh. I

(01:54:56):
don't know. Did you see who was the most the
number one selling jersey in the National Football League last year?
Did you see it? Russell Wilson. Does everybody in Seattle
buy jers? Maybe start thinking about them as a nationally
appealing team? Start all right, Chris law We'll see in

(01:55:17):
New York. Yes, we'll see you there. It should be
a fun time. Good to see you. Chris Brockman. Dirty Daddy.
The Chronicles of a family man turned filthy comedian Bob Saget.
Don't hold his opinions about seeing Frozen over and over
again against him. That's funny, man, Come on, that's funny.
I don't want to thank Mayok for taking the time.
I mean, the man is uh is probably scheduled to

(01:55:38):
his teeth. Yeah, and definitely Uh. Listen to his conference
call on Thursday that's streamed on NFL dot com. Use
the hashtag asked mac and you can get your questions
asked or answered by Mike Mayack during that conference called
by somebody who's on Twitter who tells him what's on Twitter. Yes,
because he is not on Twitter. Good to see you guys.

(01:55:58):
For at Chris Law and at Ris Brockman, I'm at
Rich Eyes, and for at the Eisen podcast. Uh, peace out.
He didn't This guy didn't make a close. Evan or
Ivan didn't make a close? Did he? Even? We do
have We do have an have another one, We have
another one. Play it all the way out up here,
tap dance. Do you want to get an international international down?

(01:56:19):
This guy is amazing or whatever. He's shouting at us.
He's shouting out at us internationally. Have not have not
gotten to fully listen to this one, but he did
a a Trivolta name Generator one. Okay, this one is
called the R E. P Open. Thanks for listening. Welcome

(01:56:41):
to the Race Agents Podcast starring Craig. When it comes
to determining the favorite team of your kids, your kids
really don't have free will unless they're actively rebelling against you.

(01:57:02):
But you know what, I really didn't like my dad,
so I started rooting for the Dodgers. Craig Loide, Joe Pesci,
Joe Peshi, Martini in and free alives. And it was
a hot day, so I went to hydrate myself at
the at the bar and he walks up with his martini. Barrett, Barrett,
they tell you the strings from me there? He goes, yes,
Mr Peshi. He goes, it's fun awful, make eye contact.

(01:57:24):
I keep looking forward. I just don't know what to do.
And then he looks at me and he goes Beard,
and here is your host, Race Agents. Stay listening to

(01:58:00):
the meeting

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