Going Solo To A Wedding

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Talk about this, talk about it, talk about it. You're
not gonna send that audio, are you, Rufio. You're not
gonna go behind my back and send an audio. You
said it live on the air, like, well, I know,
but now I don't assume every all thirteen listeners are
listening at all times. What's it to you? How much
is it worth to you? Fred? Here we go? Oh yeah,

(00:22):
because because I don't it wasn't going to do it.
An you blame me the email? Hold on, play play
the intro to the Tangent. It's Fred and Angie's the
Tangent giving you all this we couldn't talk about on air.
I didn't blame you. We did have a conversation off
the air about whether that girl had a boyfriend or not.
She had a boyfriend, and they know, and we're being

(00:42):
really honest. If we're being really honest, you found her
Instagram because you're famous. No, we were already friends. Oh
I didn't know, because I've met her previously, Shelley, because
we met her at the Bears event that Shelley invited
me to because she was working for the company. I
remember right her name, and so we were already friends.

(01:04):
And then we were after after the after the thing,
we went to friend and I got lunch and we
had a conversation about her. No I know, and do
you have a new interest? But then you said to me,
I think she has a boyfriend because I follow her
on Instagram? You do, so you haven't run into her
on the dating apps since she's trying to like get
I might be outside of her age age Rangeth. I

(01:26):
don't know, Maybe we're not. Maybe my stuff's not set
up right. And I want to say for the record
so that no one misinterpretation. I don't get in any trouble.
I didn't. I would get in trouble. Come on, assholes
who listen to what I say and dissect little parts
of it and then tell certain people things to be hurtful.
I wasn't. Hey, would you say, she follows me, so

(01:47):
I guess I'll follow back. Oh, there you go. Thanks,
She's pretty right. I wasn't. I wasn't doing anything I
shouldn't have been doing at the time. I was act.
In fact, at the time, I remember saying, you know,
nice whatever, like I'm focused on my relationship at the time.
I wasn't. I wasn't trying to be shady or anything
like that. I think when you're in a relationship, you
can still acknowledge that the people are pretty, can't you.

(02:07):
Of course, I just don't want to want to put
a timeline together and accuse me of you know, say
that like nobody, Oh, that happened already, Fred, it's over, Yeah,
who cares? I'm Malcolm, I know. I'm just now I'm
super paranoid, super paranoid because I just maybe it's over.

(02:28):
Nobody cares anymore. I'm just I guess. I'm I'm I
have a PTSD from a time where everything that came
out of my mouth was misinterpreted. Did anything I didn't
do anything wrong. I never didn't. We had a conversation
and that's it. I never did anything wrong anyway. I'm
I guess I regretted the move, but I guess um
in not getting a response, I thought, oh, maybe I
didn't land the way that I intended. How do you know?

(02:51):
You never know? If I was her, I would I
would make a mental note, yeah, chuck, and then you know,
you file it away, you visit it. It happened in me,
and it works because as soon as I was single,
I called that guys just don't be stalkersh you know
what I'm saying, don't really just coming from you. Don't
follow up with another email. No no no no no
no no no, no refard the email. Yeah, just put

(03:17):
a receipt on it. I didn't get a response to this.
I'm circling back. Ye did this email go through? Yeah?
Well here's here's here's the other problem with this is
there atone no you. As you know, I've called myself
to make sure my phone's working, and I've texted myself

(03:39):
to make sure that my phone is working. On ask
a friend, I'm like, yo, can you hit me? I
want to see this test. Test. Part of the problem
with this open dialogue on the tangent or on the
air is I think sometimes it gives the impression that
I mean because you gotta remember, like we're talking about
internal dialogue, like we're sharing the things that we're thinking about,
not necessarily the things that we would do or say

(03:59):
out loud. So I was confident in that move. But
if you're asking me now because I've overanalyzed it, you know,
because people will sometimes email me or tweet and go
like you need to be you need to have more
self confidence you need to have. It's like, no, I
do have self confidence. I got a little bit of swag.
But but part of part of what we part of
what we do here that is dissect things. Part of
my nature is to dissect things. And I'm telling you

(04:21):
all the things that are happening in my brain. Part
of the problem also now is that other people are
like this girl can go listen to this, and that
she can tell you, she can hear the whole process.
What buck them? I know. I'm so bad at fuck them.
You got to get better at It's so deliberating. It
feels so good because because I don't want to hurt
people's feelings, I don't upset people. You can't control how

(04:43):
they receive anything. You know what I mean, You're you're
going to live your life. Yeah, your life. I don't
live your life. I have a real problem, which is
not I just don't want to hurt people's feeling. Well,
we don't. Nobody wants to hurt anybody's feeling. Some people
don't give a shit. But we shall put our feelings
first in our mental health. So if you're stressing about

(05:04):
other people's feelings before your own, maybe I just feel
in my life like I'm constantly having to prove intent
um to people, to certain people, and I don't think
I should have to do that, but I feel like
I do. No, I feel like I do. I'm constantly
having to sort of back up the things I do by,
you know, justify my actions. No, you don't need it,
what do you What do you say you don't need it?

(05:26):
What is the other thing? Fuck them? Yeah, I mean
I've already used like all my efforts for the year,
But you know that's what you gotta think. Um, so
you are going to this wedding, Um, when is it
next weekend? You keep asking that until like April or something,
but you're on You're on my calendar as being out

(05:47):
next week for a bachelor. Sorry that I don't. I
don't have your whole fucking social schedule memorized. You just
ask yesterday, I forget, I forgive you, Shelby, I don't know,
drink beats look at me and said, it's the wedding
next week. I said no, I said, I said, thank god,
I said, I know. Not marring around here really really

(06:09):
concerns me because I'm the same way I really look. Hey,
I thought it was good that I knew you were
gonna be gone next week. I just couldn't remember which
they was, which I couldn't remember. I just I can't remember, Hardy,
what I have to do today. It's okay, I'm just
I'm giving you a hard I know. Fuck it. Remember
I'm starting right here. Um So not don't fuck us?
Oh wait, well no I won't. Um So what what is?

(06:31):
You're gonna go by yourself or the debate? The debate
was whether to go by yourself? The debate is whether
you should go to a wedding by yourself. It's all
the fucking sheet. Okay, so she doesn't want to go
by yourself to Mexico. Who did you invite? Who did
you invite to this wedding? Jock Jack? Okay, this is
it's Jack, the guy who you thought this is. Remember

(06:54):
the whole tangent we did or on the air about
the guy who wanted you to go visit him. Jockey
might as well not have a penis like, it's like
familial like. Okay, so this is I like Jack. This
is not a move. This isn't like a potential love move. Okay.
Now that's the guy in Austin. Yeah, the guy remember
we did, oh dog, the whole thing. He wanted to

(07:14):
pay for you to go I do remember things she
wanted to pay for you to go visit. We were like, well,
he also might as well not have a penis. I
think he has an expectation a lot of roommates. Yeah. Yeah,
he invited Jock like as a friend, like come with
me to accompany me. So here's the thing. So the
girl who's getting married, um is one of my best
friends now, but she was originally my ex's friend and

(07:36):
I stole her. Oh yeah, I stole her. One times
you lose people. Yeah, but like I stole her, like
right when he introduced it, I'm like, no, no no, she's
mine now plans for friends if they ever break up,
Like I know who I'm taking. Oh yeah, equation And
I mean they have been friends for a long time,
like since high school. But I took her ass away
and she invited both of us while we were still

(07:56):
dating to the wedding, so she didn't think that she
had to invite separately. So is your ex going she's
getting screwed out of the deal because not going broke
up and he was my plus one and you get
the initial Yeah. I was like, yeah, is he going
to be hurt by that? She's like what the fuck?
Because I mean it sucks, but she's not gonna go

(08:18):
and just invite him too. Well, she was like, why
don't you just take him? And I mean I could have,
but you do what you want. Yeah, you don't have
to take your X because it works into their numbers.
But either way, no, now he's not going and he's
kind of like bombed about it. But I didn't want
to bring Basically, long story short, it's a wedding filled
with like his close friends too, and I didn't want

(08:39):
to disrespect him and bring someone that I was actually
attracted to. So I was like, who's like, who's a
safe play that I could travel with, I could sleep
in a room with, or not going to try to
fondle me and who we could have a fine? I mean,
I'm safe and like who you know? I know how
the travelers out, we're going to have a blast, and

(09:00):
who everyone's not going to be like okay with a
new man, you know. So I didn't want to say
I don't know your friend that you're bringing. Do they know?
He knows a good amount of people, and he knows
that they all know that misinterpreted. I could have taken
me and just given me an iPad with dateline on
it like a child and just been like here, yeah,
that you could. I would have been a great date.
And then with like if you just be here watch

(09:21):
this and I'm distracted. It doesn't sound like a fun date. No,
I'm just saying like like I don't. I'm just if
you want. If you want me to behave a little baby,
That's what I'm saying, like a child, you want me
to behave, then give me a screen with dateline on
and then I'll be okay and some back and cheese
sound fun for me though to talk and normally I
would behave. But if at some point I were acting out,
you know, let me just I don't do We've never

(09:44):
like traveled together like I would behave. I don't know
about all that I would behave myself. I don't want
to like, I don't know how you sleep. But do
you snore? I don't know people, Oh my godfriend probably snore. Yeah,
I think I do. I think I do? Yes, you do? Um? Yes? Anyway,
So okay, so you you you're bringing somebody Also, it's

(10:04):
in Mexico and everybody's going at different times, and they're
not one person is going single except for this creepy
guy who won't stop messaging me. Who's the groom's front.
You know what? The groom told him, Oh, this girl's
coming and she's single. You know he already know. But
I told him I'm seeing someone because I wanted him
to leave me alone. And then he was like, uh,
when you save me a dance at the wedding. So

(10:26):
I'm like, Okay, i gotta bring someone and I'm not
going to Mexico alone. Like it's a two hour drive
from Mexico City to Quernavaca, and I don't want to
see that by myself. I don't I don't blame you
at all. I don't blame you at all. And I
think that's funny because I'm I'm always the guy who
doesn't bring the date and who the riding room like
survey the sink. Yeah, and they're like, okay, here's here's

(10:47):
where you should you know, be aware, and then vice versa,
and it's it's kind of a weird thing because then
you get there and you kind of look at each
other and it's like the expectation is that we're going
to hang out tonight, but we have no idea if
we'd even like each other. Ever, every week it's like
your book, your room. Yeah, I love how creepy this
guy sounds like he really sounds like, Yeah, I've met

(11:07):
him before? Is he is he? This guy? Is he? Yummy? Yummy?
That's what I read, D that's the voice read. Yeah.
I'm like, fam, I don't know. I would want to
go by myself and maybe like to Mexico. Yeah, and
then that two hour drive, maybe somebody takes me, and
I'm like, then I get a new life. I hope.

(11:29):
I don't think it's a lie that you'd want. Maybe
they're palatial drugs, Jack, that we could take separate cars
so that there's a chance a whole new fun life
to be a drug lord princess or something. I mean,
they will take me for it's a it's a safe move.
You know you got you got a companion. Uh, you

(11:50):
know you're you're in a pair. Nana doesn't even want
me to even go with Jacke, and my mom and
Nana don't think that he could defend me, so it
would be me defending Jack. Wow. Well, you're tough though
you are, you're a tough lady. I mean they have
guns and stuff. Yeah, I mean I would be good
at negotiating maybe, but get the strike here. Take this

(12:11):
guy look at his watch. Yeah yeah, it could be
weird to go to weddings alone. I love going to
weddings alone when I was so you say that, but
I don't know. I mean, if I here, it is
like if you know there's always going to be other
single people there and you already have something in common,

(12:31):
you know, you know, the couple getting married, never single
people there. I was gonna say that. I think it's rare,
and a lot of people will bring a plus one.
I typically don't even if I have a plus one
unless I've got somebody who I'm seeing and I like,
I really like them, and I know how they're going
to act. Then I don't ought to my wedding. I
never saw her again, did you really? I did it

(12:51):
her prior then at a time. In fact, I chose her.
I just moved here. So I chose her because I
knew she'd act right. I wasn't, and I also I
also wasn't gonna like I don't think they were dating
apps at the time. But I wasn't gonna go pick
up some random girl at a bar and take her
to Angie Taylor's wedding. So I thought that was the move,
is to take a known quantity. Well, I appreciate that
you didn't take some like random that it was gonna
get like hammered. And my grandma never saw the girl

(13:14):
you took to my wedding. Ever, again, we were dating
at the time and now we're not. So no, no,
we know that was another That was another one. She's
lovely and I knew that she This is a lot
of important people were there, you, you, your family, co workers.
I needed to bring you know, I was a legend

(13:34):
of Chicago's wedding, I know, and I wasn't gonna bring.
I wasn't gonna bring just some random because again, I
thought that was disrespectful. I wanted to bring somebody who
would respect what. Yeah, the union, that's appreciated. No, for sure,
I don't think it's an opportunity for a first or
second date. Add not a KEG party. Yeah no, that's
so sad. Like to her, I was like, listen, I
know that you wanted me to do something specific with

(13:55):
my plus one. However, I'm going to your bachelorette, which
is not cheap, and I'm going to your wedding, which
is not an Aspen fam which also is not easy
to get to know it's not And I'm like, so,
you know what, I'm going to bring a friend. Yeah,
And I'm sorry, and she's like, it's fine, no worries.
But you know what if you meet someone in Aspen,
but you know something weird. The last time I went

(14:18):
to Aspen, there was a man, a British man in
a prisiness suit, who sat next to me and he
asked for my number and I said no because I
had a boyfriend. But I said, you can give me yours,
and so I took it and he's in my phone
as Jamie Aspens. I don't know some club or something.
I don't know him up. Maybe I'll be like, hey,
how long ago was that was? That was years ago? Yeah,

(14:40):
a lot of things could change, but you never know. Hey, Aspen,
what Fred was saying about, when you're sitting there, just
when you are ready to leave, like the day before,
make sure that you arranged transportation, because you can't just
call an uber to take you to the air because
it's like I learned that the hard way. When I
was there, I was like Steamboat Springs the same way.
I went to a wedding there and our friend is

(15:00):
picking Tahoe is like to flight today in and out.
And that's another one. You got to go to Reno
or something. Drive. It's like a pen in the ass.
I don't when your friends getting married. That was like
one of my sister's friends got married to some place
in Montana and there's like one flight to day and
it was like fifteen hundred dollars for the flight to
go to you know, I don't even know where Helena is. Yeah,

(15:23):
that's the capital Christmas. I said to everybody in my family,
I don't want any gifts. I need you guys to
get my flight because I cannot afford this. And so
that's what I had some good ask Those are expensive
tickets too. Yeah, who you telling? And so I said,
I'm bringing jockey. I'm telling you. I said, fuck him.
Yeah you bringing jockey, Jock? You bringing who you want.
That's that's up to you. You bring who you I
know I wanted to be respectful though. I didn't want

(15:44):
to show up with a new guy. With all my
exes friends there. And I also didn't want to travel
with someone that I haven't traveled with because you got
a poop and you gotta traveling. Is yeah, it's into me,
you know. So even if there's someone that I would
be talking the first time I've traveled with my girlfriends,
if we're staying in the same room, I'm like, how's
this gonna go? We just did that? We do? Yeah,
I know. Were you nervous? It was I'm always nervous

(16:06):
to travel with somebody for the first Like she's gonna
be okay. It was me just walking around my shirt off.
I was ordering room service at three A. I'm like, yeah, yeah,
I don't blame you. I'm reading a book about Mexico
right now. It's at there's a lot of controversy about it,
so I don't know how accurate it is, but I
don't know how safe it is. And everyone's like eyes

(16:26):
bug out and they're like, don't go, and I'm like
I have to. Is there a reason? Is she from that?
So this is confusing? But her family is Spanish from Spain,
but they live in Mexico and so they live in
um She's a lot of family in Quernavaca. So that's
where we're going. Deep deep deep, I mean it's like

(16:48):
a real lass area. Yeah, I don't know, it's like
real Mexico. It's like it's not like resorts are there.
There's only like two hotels. You're not going to like Warez,
We're I don't know. I know. Every time I dropped
that to like anyone who's from Mexico, like uber drivers
or like the people downstairs, I asked them if they
were familiar, and they are like, oh shit, like you're

(17:09):
a real one. Do you have your transportation set from
the airport too? There? Um, yeah, we have to set that.
But I just don't want to get taken No, you know,
you go with a raptable somebody. I know. Well, Mexico
is lovely. I just you know, currently I love it.
You've got to be mindful of, you know, dressed out
a bit of a civil war going on in some areas,

(17:29):
with drugs and things like that. You gotta be careful,
which is not just similar from many parts of the world.
You gotta be careful. So I'm you know, I don't
add me on that people from Mexico. I know, I'm
not trying to offend anyone. I'm really excited and I'm going,
but a lot of people are advising me not to go,
and it's making me a little uneasy. Yeah, you'll be fine,
I mean, shoot, yeah, you'll be fine. You'll be fine.
I'm not gonna expound on my thoughts anymore. You should go,

(17:51):
and I'm glad you're taking somebody and you'll have a
great time and then and it's good. There'll be no expectation,
so you don't have to worry about that. Yeah. No,
I mean, well I never worry about that because I
do what I want. But yeah, but yeah, of course
you do what you want. You're not going to be pressure.
But it's always kind of weird when when somebody wants
something and you don't, and you kind of have to
manage that a little bit. I mean, you don't have
to do anything, but that's always a little bit awkward. No.

(18:13):
I literally, I'm just like no. But it isn't it
awkward to saying no? Not for me? Yeah, I'm saying no, Well, good,
you should do what I want? Fam you should? You should?
I guess I I don't know. I've been around people
before and they're they're more interested than I am. And
and even though the boundaries you said it, you still
know in your mind and you still kind of have

(18:33):
to I don't know, act differently. I have a really
hard time like faking things, so like the person knows
right away if I want it or if I don't know.
You feel me sitting on your lap, you know what's up.
I think you said you are, like, no, you're not.
I don't want it. Yeah, well I want it. I'll
say I want it. You do want it right now,
and I want you to give it to me. I'm

(18:55):
I'm not sure what we determined here. I think we
determined that going to a wedding as a single person
can be a good idea, can be a bad idea.
Uh yeah, And that's pretty much the cool could go
either way. It's it's easier to go to a single
wedding when you know all the people. The last wedding
I went to single, I didn't know anyone but the
bride and groom. That was that was that was awkward.

(19:16):
I've gone with like groups of friends like and I'm like,
set us all together, you know, but that but that's
that makes it easier to go alone but in this case,
I was forced to make friends, and I did. I
had this opportunity to make new people. It was good.
It worked out fine. But it's a little more work
than if you take some because if you take somebody
with you, then you pretty much talk to them a
lot of the time, and then you're maybe not branching
out as much. So you guys are they hate new people.

(19:38):
I want to go to a wedding. Who's greaking out
of me? I can I can fake that. You had
to make friends, like I wasn't going to be the
mute guy. You like people. I don't know. I swear
I hate. I don't like. Yes, I don't only talking
to people that I love meeting new people. I know.
I'm very I'm very envious of that. I hate new people.
I don't. I'm with you, But I can fake because

(20:00):
I'd rather I want to at least sort of blend in.
It's Jack like fun though JK his name, So his
real name is Jake, but a very racist woman because
he's Asian called him jockey. Um, that's so weird. Which Timothy, Yeah,
it's fun, GIMOTHI maybe maybe he'll be a good like

(20:24):
wing man to like if you meet like a hot
Mexican man or something, you know, maybe like yeah, I mean,
I'm the only one out of the two of us
who knows Spanish. But he might never like, Hey, you
can meet a hot Mexican guy and then you could
be on ninety day fiance and get him a kay
one B side and wow, it's gonna be amazing. I'm
here for that. I'd watch that show. I'm not counting
anything out, but yeah, he would wing man me. I
mean he would totally. I'll wing man him. If he

(20:46):
wants to bring someone back, I'll say, just you know,
throw a sock out of the door. To fall in love.
Both of you, not with each other. We're not Actually
look at this Paulina who over here is getting married
and in love. We learned today Now everyone needs to
be in love. You're just seeing the world through. But
when you know you, when you know you know what
they say you want to go to a wedding. The

(21:06):
first one might be yours. That'd be something my first wedding.
I go through his mind because I didn't know this.
You've never been to a wedding like family weddings. None
of my friends get married everyone's poor. Yeah, don't worry,
don't You'll go through the same phase that I went through.
Everyone went through it, and King's going through it now
where it's like, holy shit, I'm going to a wedding
like it's gonna send you like you should go for me.

(21:27):
I would love to. Okay, I'm going to everybody's second
weddings now really. Yeah, so you did the divorce thing
and then it's lighting number two. Everybody's like, you know,
they got married in their twenties and now like then
they're divorced and now they're going on their second marriage.
So so I have to do it again. Yeah, you're
gonna have a phase where it goes in waves. You know,

(21:50):
you'll go to a lot of weddings. There'll be a
calm after thirty and then at forty you'll get ramped
up again. Yeah. I believe that. I think I think
I'm getting ready for the second phase now in my life.
All right, Okay, thanks for listening. Subscribe like all that stuff.
Tell your friends who like our show that this is here.
The Tangent we're working on almost one hundred were ninety.
We'll have to do something special for the one hundred
Thord just do what we always do, which is just

(22:12):
talk shit.