Dating In 2025

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, I want to talk about something on the
Tangent right now that Paulina wrote down but she can't
remember it. Can you remember it? In the five seconds
of the intro? Place I got you?

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Okay, hit the intro.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
It's the Tangent giving you all this shit we couldn't
talk about on the air.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Okay, do you remember? I do? Okay? So what was
your I want to come your dating theory? Go ahead?

Speaker 3 (00:17):
So I saw that our friend of the show Psychic, Susan,
she makes she makes videos and I actually you know,
she locks me in.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
She makes little Instagram videos, YouTube videos and she'll cover
topics and one of them was about dating and how
the dating pool today is.

Speaker 4 (00:31):
Very interesting to her and she's never really seen.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
It like this where essentially, which I feel we all
can see this to some extent, but like the men
are the ones that want to be chased, and like
women aren't womening like.

Speaker 4 (00:41):
They used to as far as getting pursued.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
And I was like, you know, we Susande, you might
be onto something because I've always kind of said that
I feel like today well, also, this is why I joke,
but I'm not joking like I would never date again.
Like I'm not being funny.

Speaker 4 (00:54):
I love hobby.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
Were talking about hobby. It's like literally about me, Like
I don't have.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
It anything today. Hustle. By the way, I just just
texted me that you're not a hustle.

Speaker 4 (01:02):
He texted back and said that bitch is I'm bullshit.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah, that's what he said. He said, not a hustler, baby.
I just want you to know. That's what he said
to me. But I don't like it one bit. I
don't agree with him.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
There, thank you, Thank you me neither. I am a hustler. Guys,
I can I'll hustle him.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
I just told you I agree with you.

Speaker 4 (01:21):
To me, I'm talking to myself and like God, I
don't want.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
To prove it to me.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Okay, So this woman thinks that that men want to
be chased because I don't. I mean, I can only
speak from my perspective and I'm the only single man
in the room, but I don't. I don't expect to
be chased by women at all. I don't expect that,
not at all. No, not even a little no. I
guess I'm looking for closer to fifty to fifty in
the process, so I will say that, Okay, I will say,

(01:45):
at this point in my life, I am looking for closer,
not exactly fifty to fifty, but I'm looking for closer
to fifty to fifty. I'm looking for equal investment in
me that you want out of me. And I realize
that you know. The way the game tends to work
is it men chase women and want to be courted,
and I expect that to a certain extent, But then
I also expect that you're going to reciprocate the interest

(02:08):
that I'm giving you, because if I'm not meeting you,
if you're not meeting me somewhere near halfway, then it's
I don't need to be doing it like I don't.
I'm not I'm not thirsty, I'm not desperate. I'm very, very,
almost too happy on my own. So I'm looking for
someone who's sort of I don't know, we just I
don't know it. It meshes and that's hard for people
to understand. But I think the only way in today's

(02:32):
dating world that you'll have any success is if you
play a cast a wide net and play a numbers game.
It's a lot of work, it's a lot of energy.
It can be disappointing, and I do it the same
way that it's been done to me. So I'm not
criticizing the process, but I just don't like it. And
I'm pretty convinced I'm not going to meet anybody on
a dating app. I just don't think so. And I

(02:53):
also think there's this this you guys have heard me
talk about it before, but there's this internet dating app
like culture, it's match and then and then check on
all the different websites to see what other people are
saying about this person, and it's not I think where
it was originally supposed to be a matter of safety
and security and not getting scammed, I think now it's

(03:14):
it's a one sided Yelp review on humans, which I
think is screwed up. I think if guys were doing it,
we would get killed for it. I would never want
to be a part of something like that. I have
to question people who are a part of something like that,
and I also have to question people who are basing
their decisions on that kind of thing. Short of scammers, criminals, predators,

(03:36):
but if you're on the Internet or even listening to
someone with a second or third hand and am I
speaking from experience, I am. But if you're listening to
someone's third hand experience of of I went out with
so all my friend when I was so and so
one time it didn't work out, and then you don't
want to go out with them anymore. Then I think
I think you might be missing out. I think you

(03:58):
might be. And anyway, so it's a way more COMPLI
there are way more voices involved. A lot of it's
like anonymous, and there's no investment, and I just don't
I don't know. I feel like maybe someday I'll either
come across someone or somebody will introduce me to someone,
or there'll be some more of a personal process involved,
and that might be how I wind up meeting someone,
if it's ever meant to be there. But as far

(04:18):
as my sermon's over, but as far as me expecting
to be pursued, no.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah, I don't think that you or a lot of people,
and this is my hot take too, are going to
meet someone and have a real successful I don't know,
sess what could be anything, right, marriage whatever, through a
dating app. And I say that somebody who's met my
husband on a dating app. I think Shelley and I
are like were the exception, not the role.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
Like, I just don't think people have no, A lot
of people have had success, a lot of people.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
I mean, I think I've just been on them way
too long for sure, for sure.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
But like I think I'm not expert. But I've heard
dating coaches.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
I had one of my podcasts recently and she says that, like,
that's not really how it goes, Like, yes, you do
hear about it, but it's not as common or it
just like doesn't happen as much.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
I think meeting in the wild is more more common.
And Jason, you met your boyfriend on the app to y.
Yeah it was just supposed to be a hookup, but
then you moved.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
But the next I'm still there you got so for
him it was a hookup.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
But yeah, I mean, like doesn't I don't think happened
as I could be wrong, can carrect if I'm wrong,
But I think that's not as commons.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
My behavior is not normal.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
For your story, I mean, it's it's a cute story.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
I think you.

Speaker 5 (05:28):
Also have to be like genuinely ready and genuinely wanting it,
Like if you actually want a partner, you need to
write a list on your phone or your whatever and
manifest all the things you want a partner, and then
your green light will be on your little cab light,
as my sex and the city fans know, and then
you're put it's the energy you're putting out there. If
you're like eh, I could take it or leave it like,
then that's what the universe is going to give you.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
That's fair that way.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
My counter that would be that I know a lot
of people who are with people when they were not
looking at all, like they they met people by chance,
and they were not pursuing, they were not working towards it.
They were not you know, I'm going to go on
this many dates a week and I'm going to see
this many people and I'm going to do this and
that I know a lot of people who just sort
of they bumped into someone, maybe they were even focused

(06:12):
on someone else, and then it was happened by chance
they wanted, is what I mean. I think a lot
of people want a relationship. I would like a relationship.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
I'm not going to work at it though, Like I
don't want to have to say I don't think you
do though, that's my point in this whole I don't
I don't think I have to. I don't want to.
I'm not going to make it my job to find
someone to be with.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
I am open, really want it. I am open to it,
but I am not.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
I am over the process of interviewing people for the job.
I want them to pursue. No, I don't.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
I don't. I don't expect to be pursued.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
I just don't think that the software today's conventional methods
are for me. I just don't because because I'm part
of the problem. By the way, like I'm just as bad.
I'm just as bad. I'll start a conversation with someone
on the app and then I just disappear. I'm just
as bad. Like I'm not a victim of any of this.
I contribute to the problem. I just but I understand

(07:14):
why the problem exists because the apps are I've said
this a thousand times, that they're designed for you to
want to see what's next, what's better, you know, And
then you got people that are dating five people at
the same time you don't know what stage you're in
with whom. I mean, I was just telling you, guys,
off the air, I had this happen where I'm imagined
with someone on dating app and we chatted for a

(07:35):
couple of weeks off and on, and this person doesn't
live close really but comes to town, and so it
was just kind of this casual like, Hey, maybe we'll
bump it when you're in town, let me know. And
then I saw this person was in town and I'm like, oh, hey,
you're in town. You didn't call, you didn't write, ha ha,
like being silly. And then I get this, Well, I'm
in a relationship, so I wouldn't be doing that. And

(07:55):
I'm like, no, wait a minute, a whole on a second,
Like two weeks ago, you weren't Fighteen days ago, you
were texting me talking about, you know, meeting up and
all this stuff. And now you're in enough of a
relationship that you're confident enough to tell someone who you
were maybe going to meet up with.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
Fuck off. I can't be talking to you like that anymore. Now.

Speaker 1 (08:15):
What that says to me is more than likely you
were seeing this person then too. You just weren't sure
or he hadn't pulled the trigger yet, and so you
were keeping your options open, as you should.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
But I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
Let's say I had but I've had this happen before too,
where I go on a date, a couple dates with someone,
it's all good, and then it's yeah, I'm busy for
this week and I'm busy for that week.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
All the while it's you weren't You were busy.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
You were busy investing in someone else who you wanted more,
but you weren't going to tell me that. Bless you,
you weren't going to tell me that because you didn't
want me to lose interest until you were sure that
that was the direction that you wanted to go. And
then it's oh, well, yeah, no, I'm seeing someone else.
I won't be hanging out with you. It's like, well,
so I held my schedule. I tried to make it
work with you, Like just tell somebody like I like

(08:57):
someone else better, Like, don't make me try and pursue you,
only for me to find out that you didn't really
want to be pursued by me unless the other thing
didn't work out.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
But that's just I feel like that's dating.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Did that person say exactly what you said as far
as like I wouldn't be reaching out to you like
I have a boyfriend because it's giving like she's looking
at and he's looking at her phone or something and
she's like trying to like cover her dress exactly where
unless she said like I'm in a relationship, like you know,
blah blah blah.

Speaker 4 (09:24):
Like I don't know, I don't know what I.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Would say to that.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Like, we we were messaging back and forth for a
couple of weeks, and then it was it's just by
the way this person owes me nothing. This person did
nothing wrong.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
I thought.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
I thought the messaging was a little well that's yeah,
a little air again whatever. And so I commented over
the weekend that I saw that this person was in town,
and I said, you don't call, you don't write, and
then she wrote back haha four and five days later haha,
thank you, I'm dating someone lol. So I mean, I'm
not sure I should write or call. It's as if
we had never discussed the way she's That message to

(09:58):
me reads like why would I talk to you I'm
with someone, Well two weeks ago you were not, so like,
I think there's another way to say that. I think
you could say, like, you know what, I know, we've
been chatting. I met someone and we're kind of hitting
it off, so like all good, but.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Like bye, I don't know, Like, I don't think I am.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
I don't think I would have and I'm obviously reading
too much into it, but I don't think I would
have responded to a girl essentially saying I'm not calling you,
I have a girlfriend now, How the fuck would you
know that?

Speaker 2 (10:31):
What?

Speaker 3 (10:31):
I don't think her message was as bad as I
thought it was the first time. I don't I know,
you made a face.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
I mean, I know you don't think there's a nicer
way to you don't think there's a different way to
different way.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
But I think she just said ha haw, like I
have a boyfriend. That's what she said, right, And then
she goes up, she goes, I don't think I should
be doing that now, She says, like I would never
do that, Like that's okay, girl relaxed. Well no, but
like what I think she's trying to like play it off.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
But we transitioned from talking about dating going on a date, right,
and that's where you have a serious relationship now in
the course of two weeks.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Like that's yeah, it's possible, I get it.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
But it's also like, maybe you should odds are you
probably should have been talking to me two weeks ago either,
because if you're now in a serious enough relationship that
you're cutting everyone else off, I mean, it can happen
in two weeks, but I doubt that it did. I
doubt she met someone in the last two weeks and
decided to commit to that person.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
It could have been longer, for sure, but they probably
like solidify their relationship or they made it a thing.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
It sounds like.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
But that's my point is why are we going on dates?
I don't know me, I get it.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
I tend to like if I think I'm seeing someone
that I wanted and this, by the way, this is
I've gotten burnt on this too. But if I'm talking
to someone who I think, if I meet someone right
and I'm like, this is really cool, I'd like to
you on another date, and then we go on two
or three dates, you don't owe me anything. But I'm
probably not going another dates anymore. And I'll tell you why,
because if I'm thinking about you while I'm on a

(11:48):
date with someone else, I shouldn't be on the other date.
Now a lot of people will say no, then I'm
wasting my time because something like this happens, where I
go on dates with you for three weeks and then
you tell me that you like someone else better, and
I wasted you. See, I don't see it as a
waste of three weeks, though, I see it as I
had good intentions with you. I'd like to see where
this goes. You have every right to tell me that

(12:10):
you've met someone else and that I'm not for you.
But me, I don't want to have to do that. Yeah,
and go back to someone else. And here here's me
and someone in a picture, and it's like, wait a minute,
we went on a date like a week ago.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
What the fuck is this?

Speaker 3 (12:23):
Someone compared this one time, and I kind of see it.
It's almost like a job interview when you're interfering for jobs,
and I mean, like you're looking for a job, you
have nothing. I would say that you are probably going
to all the interviews, right, You're probably doing all the
follow ups, You're doing all the rounds, and like, I
know this may not be the same, but it kind
of gives that to me. So like at the end,
like this is the job that you end up with
the offer you.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
Got, right, But that's exactly the part of the process
I've been saying I don't want to do I'm not
out here going out with ten people just you don't
end up with one.

Speaker 4 (12:49):
No, but other people I think do.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
And yeah about p.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
I've said one hundred times in this podcast, like no
one did anything wrong.

Speaker 4 (12:56):
I don't think you think that I don't know anything wrong.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
It's just like.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
Hat, Obviously I didn't know you had a boyfriend, right,
wouldn't I just feel stupid. It's not that she did
something wrong. It's I'm being kind of silly flirty on
a message with a girl who has a boyfriend and
I didn't know because ten days ago, right, you wanted
me to take you out.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
So it just made me feel stupid. It's like, oh,
well fuck, and.

Speaker 4 (13:18):
She might be trying to make you feel stupid, and
that's why she said that. Personally, that was me.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
And I've been in that position where like, yeah, I
was talking to like someone else, someone else, whatever.

Speaker 4 (13:26):
Because that's what happens.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
And I've been loyal to people who weren't even my
boyfriend nothing like I've I've looked very stupid in many positions,
and I'll never do that again.

Speaker 4 (13:33):
So if I every date, I'm being very honest, I would.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
Everyone's gonna date, like everybody's say, and I'm doing what
I want to do because.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
I think I would.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
I would have written back and I would have said
something like, dude, I know we never met up. It's
crazy I met someone like it's going somewhere, That's what
I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
I would have been cool about it.

Speaker 4 (13:52):
I just trying to shame you that you're right about that.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
I give her that, like it's like, okay, asshole, Like
I didn't know obviously, I didn't know that there's nothing
on your an make an announce me. I didn't say
something like, oh, who's that dipshit you should go out
with me?

Speaker 2 (14:06):
I didn't know.

Speaker 4 (14:07):
Yeah, that was unnecessary.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
But I guess you could have told you in a
different way, like well, I'm seeing someone you know, and
just it's all good.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
Like again, this is the game.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
I don't like it because I also I could have
I could have moved a lot faster, you know, I
could have been like, hey, next time you're in, talent's
going to I mean, I let it linger I didn't.
I don't know that we ever would have gone out,
Like I didn't even ask her out there, like she
did nothing wrong. It's just like this is the kind
of shit where I'm just like, why am I even
exposing myself to this? Like I don't, I don't, I

(14:37):
don't want, I don't care, could and maybe if I
had five other people that I was dating, it's just
like okay, cool. Next, I don't, I don't, I don't.
I know, it's not it's not fun anymore to do that,
and so yeah, but I don't. Twenty minutes later, I
don't expect anyone to court me. I just I guess.
I just expect someone to see me where, to meet

(14:58):
me where I'm at and uh, and I guess be clear,
you know, communicate clearly. And I don't know, I mean,
is that too much to ask?

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yes, why, I'm just kidding, just fucking around.

Speaker 6 (15:13):
But no, I think dating today is very very very
very hard. But if you're dating with intention, I don't
think it is, especially as a man, Like if you
really want a girlfriend for it, you can walk out
this room today and go on a date with take
a date on and take a woman on a date
and tell her you want to be in a relationship
and she's gonna be like, oh my god, yes, So

(15:36):
I don't know'ship. I think you may just want to date,
like you want to have a little fun here and there.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
But what's funny is I don't even want that on you.
I'm like, I'm not even trying to take girls home
one dates anymore. Like it's like, yeah, I mean, I
would love to get laid, but like it's this ship
where like, you know, you go on a date and
you bang, and then it's like, oh did I why do?

Speaker 2 (15:56):
I don't know what I want to do?

Speaker 1 (15:58):
And then it's like you you know, you do kind
have not an obligation, but like we had sex, Like
I haven't always done well with that. I have, I
have it one time in my life been sexually active.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
I have Atlanta, but I don't know. I didn't.

Speaker 5 (16:12):
As long as you're extending the same amount of communication
that you are wanting from this woman or other women,
because if you're not extending the same overly communicative thing,
then all's fair. Right.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
I've definitely changed my approach in the last few years,
and I've probably even sharpened it more. And I'm just
finding that that's not necessarily what everybody else wants to do,
and that's fine.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
Like, again, no one in this thing.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
I've said this fifty times in this podcast too, Like
I'm not shaming anyone. No one did anything wrong. It's
just this is the kind of shit where I'm like,
I don't need it.

Speaker 5 (16:47):
I also don't think you should feel stupid based on
her message, Like it feels like you're projecting that onto yourself,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
But you know what I mean. Like the response was
like I read it as well, why would I write
you I have a boy friend. I didn't know that.

Speaker 7 (17:01):
Is that what you're putting onto the messenger or is
that what the message?

Speaker 2 (17:04):
What would you have thought?

Speaker 8 (17:05):
I I didn't think it was.

Speaker 5 (17:07):
As bad as you felt like it was, honestly, So
if you were flirting with a guy who you didn't
know had a girlfriend and he wrote you back I
have a girlfriend, like and you didn't.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Know, wouldn't she be like, uh, news to me, right,
that's kind of right. That's kind of what I mean. Like, Okay,
well that appeared out of and I think that was
my response, like, well that happened fast.

Speaker 5 (17:26):
Yeah, I might have all those feelings, but I wouldn't
feel stupid. I would just be like, damn, I'll take
the l Like you know, that's weird. We were just flirting.
You know, I would have sent the same flirting message
and I would have been like, all.

Speaker 8 (17:36):
Right, like this is odd, but I don't want you
to feel stupid as all I was.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
I appreciate that, and I don't think that was her
intention either, but it's their response was like flip into
enough that I'm all, yeah, oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 (17:49):
I always try to be like overly kind if someone
is being respectful and hitting on me or whatever, like
I don't want people to lose the want to like
hit on people and pub like. And you know, I
think that we've gone too far the other direction, and
I agree with you on that, so I try to
be respectful and kind and just be like, listen, I'm
so flattered.

Speaker 8 (18:08):
But so I probably would have said like, yo, I
don't know.

Speaker 5 (18:11):
I know we were just talking, but like I don't know,
I'm gonna rock with this guy for a minute, see
how it goes.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
And then yeah, and I would And that's that makes
perfect sense because you're single and that's what you were
trying to accomplish, and that's fine. I guess for me,
I'm bitter on the whole thing a little bit these
days because I have a reputation, and I have an
earned reputation.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
I would.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
I've never been deceptive. I've never been a scammer. I've
never you know, I'm not a criminal. I mean, I've
been a serial dater. I've been out here looking for
different things for different purposes. I've never promised anybody anything
that I couldn't deliver on.

Speaker 8 (18:42):
It's okay.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
If anything, I've probably well underpromised my capabilities. But it's
definitely caught up with me. There are definitely people out
there who have opinions about me and have you know,
scorn stories or he's a bad guy, which I've never
been a bad guy to anyone. I mean, I'm sure
I've disappointed people.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
I know that.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
I'm sure i've let people down the way that I've
been let down.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
It's just, you know, the villain is somebody's story.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
I know that, and I'm probably the villain in more
stories than I deserve. But but I've put myself in
that position, and that's fine. I've been on and off
these apps for a long time, and and then I
think this job, you know, elevates the status, not the status,
but the exposure a little bit. So it's more it's
more fun to say, Oh, the guy from the radio
is a dipshit. I also have the reputation that I
everything I do in dating it ends up on the air,

(19:28):
and that I'm only out here to I think people
think I'm exploiting dating to and if you, if you
actually listen to the show, then you know that that
hasn't ever really been my game on purpose. But it
certainly hasn't been my game in years. And even when
I did tell a lot of dating stories, most of
the time the joke was on me. And I never
ever ever gave any form of information out about anybody

(19:52):
that would make that you know, that would make that
would reveal who that person was. The only way that
anyone ever knew who I was talking about is if
that person went and told their friends and family that
I was talking about them. So my game was never
to embarrass anyone or make them feel bad. But I
will say, get used to knowing me and any of
us in this room, and it is not a term

(20:13):
that you have to agree to or make part of
your life. But I mean the number of times that
I've been scrutinized for telling stories about times I've been
out with friends and you know whomever. And I'm not saying, oh,
so so my best friend so and so is you know,
blah blah blah. But our job, I mean, we're kind
of social observers, right, and we come in here and
we talk about the things that we see in our

(20:34):
perspectives and whatever. That's not for everybody, but if you know,
it is what it is. And I'm not shy or
or deceptive about the fact that that's going to be
a component of my life as long as I do
this job. And yes, so if you date me, there's
a chance that you're going to wind up. And by
the way, if I'm in a committed relationship with someone
and people are able to identify who I would be

(20:56):
talking about via pictures or if they also have some
form of status or a job or whatever, then I
would be one step more careful because now it would
be easy to know. You know, if I'm dating someone
seriously and this person has status in the community, at
their job or whatever, and I'm on the air talking
about how, you know, she farts in bed, well, I'm
not maybe going to tell that story now because you

(21:18):
would know who I was talking about. And that's not
fair because you didn't sign up for this unless you
told me it was okay.

Speaker 8 (21:24):
It takes a.

Speaker 7 (21:25):
Very special person to do someone in this field.

Speaker 8 (21:27):
It does, and I'll say that all day long.

Speaker 5 (21:29):
And so that adds an extra layer of like dating
being very shitty, and dating is really fucking shitty, and
the apps have made it.

Speaker 8 (21:36):
Way worse, Like it's too much exposure.

Speaker 5 (21:39):
I'm not supposed to be able to swipe and be
like hat na, Yeah, it's just it's too much.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
And yeah, if I'm a victim of anything, it's my
own behavior and that's fine. But I also have changed,
I think in a lot of ways, and I don't
know that I'm necessarily getting credit for that out here
in these streets, because people would rather read what's on
some app and go, oh, he's a dickhead, and it's like, well,
maybe I deserve that, But also I would like to
be with someone who might say, yeah, you've had quite

(22:06):
a twenty year run in this town, you know, fifteen
year run dating, but hey, I'd like to get to
know you myself and see if the person that's in
front of me is different than the person people talk
about or the person that's on the radio. And I
think you would find that it is, but you know
that's that's not I don't think the way a lot
of people look at this. I think they'd rather go

(22:27):
online and have someone make decisions for them, or talk
to friends, or I listen to his show. All he
does is talk about data. Well, you don't listen because
I don't because I don't think it was serving me
well and I think it was coming off the wrong way.
So I kind of stopped doing it. And then what's
funny is then people will text and go I miss
the dating stories.

Speaker 8 (22:46):
I miss him.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
I do too.

Speaker 4 (22:48):
I don't get any obiousness.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
Really well, there isn't much to talk about these days.
But anyway, more of the story is maybe men want
to be pursued, but don't.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
I don't know. I don't. I don't want to. I
guess I just want to be taken face.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Value, and maybe I don't deserve that in the way
that that I would. But what's funny is I see
and hear the stories about what men on these dating
apps are doing and something, and it is bad, and
it is it is. It is really disgusting. And I've
never been that, even in my wildest or most direct

(23:22):
I've never been that way, and so it's like, I
don't want to be mixed in with these guys, but
I've put my in some ways in some circles.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
I put myself in that position. That's my fault.

Speaker 3 (23:30):
So no, I mean these I think what Susan's psychic
Susan was saying, excuse me, it was that basically, these
men also want to be pursued, but they also want
to be treated like almost like a woman in the
sense of like I'm sorry they do like if they
wanted like do my own flowers, they probably want to
get picked up like that. Yes, they want to go
fifty to fifty on bills, like the share you know,
when you go to dinner and split the bill.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
Crazy the number of people don't pay for dates. It's
crazy to me my mom. I know my mom would
kick my ass for a lot of things. The only
the only saving grace I have is that I've always
been single and I've always been transparent. So a lot
of these things people were saying are not secrets, and
I'm not ashamed of them. But at the same time,
if my mom found out, she'd be more upset if
I didn't pay for a date. Then she would have

(24:13):
had some stupid shenanigans I did as a single man. Honestly,
she would be more disappointed in that and the number
of guys that that, oh, I forgot my wallet, or
we're splitting this, or you won't go home with me.
Now we're definitely splitting it. Fuck you, Yeah, that's right right.
Whoever invites him ever, al is paying for the date,
and usually it's the guy in my case inviting the

(24:33):
girl out. I'm paying and even if you invited me,
I'm probably still paying for it. It's the least I
can do.

Speaker 5 (24:38):
I also think like a lot of people have a
chip on their shoulder because dating is so hard, and
they carry that into new situations. So if like you're
a dude that thinks, and this is just an example,
women do it too, that thinks like, oh, women just
want a free meal to go on a date, and
you bring that energy to a new woman. We're all
just reacting to each other as like fucked up energy
over shit that happened to us in the past.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
You know, I think my battle to your earlier point
about whether I want a relationship or I'm intentional, I
think my battle is that I really don't mind life
the way it is.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
I've lived this way as kind of a nomad for
a long time, and so I think some people are like, oh,
ick or red Flag and then they move on to
the next person. For me, it might be ick or
red Flag. I'm just going to resort to what I know,
which is being on my own, and that is so difficult.
I cannot begin to tell you how difficult it is

(25:34):
for people to understand that you can be happy without someone.

Speaker 7 (25:38):
That is very true.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
It's unbelievable to me.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
You're because what you're supposed to do is data people
pick one, marry them and be with them, and then
that doesn't work out, divorce them, I guess, and then
go do it all over again. And people cannot fathom
that maybe I just continue to choose me.

Speaker 7 (25:56):
And I think that's amazing and okay and good, and.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
It's probably could be seen as as much of a problem,
if you want to say, and I'm doing the air
quotes thing as people who cannot be alone. Sometimes I
wonder if I can actually be with someone. But I
also think that there are probably other people out there
that are maybe not as extremely as I am. But
who see it the same way, who are like, you
know what, I want to have a life too, and
I would like to incorporate someone over time into that life.

(26:22):
The problem is, I think the people who see things
the way that I do are not are doing what
I'm doing, which is not taking the abs seriously, maybe
not even on them, and they're not I'm not going
to the bar to meet people anymore.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
I'm not, you know whatever.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
So I feel like the perfect person for me is
probably as isolated or as self isolated as I am,
and it would be hard to meet that person.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
And I accept that I.

Speaker 5 (26:46):
Can be hard to I've been told by more than
one dude, I am hard to date because of the
level of independence that I've honestly had to have for survival,
and then you know, became accustomed to liking I'm just
I don't ask for help. I'm an independent person, but
like that has been an issue in multiple relationships. So
I completely relate to that because I think it can
be intimidating for people to go I don't need you

(27:06):
at all, not for one second. I want you, but
I don't need you for a single thing. And either way,
I'm going to be good and that's very intimidating for people.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
But I'm sure it is where I got especially men
that expect to have to care for. They expect that
they have to be the protector and the driver and
the person who cares for and takes You know, you
need me to do all these male things, and you
don't need that.

Speaker 8 (27:31):
I got task rabbit. I got my own real rabbit.

Speaker 5 (27:33):
If you know, you know, you know.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
I want rabbits.

Speaker 8 (27:38):
You're here because I want you.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
I'm scared of both of them. You got rabbits man.
All right, there you go, it's the Tangent. Have a
good day and catch up on all the tangents and
then the show. We have a radio show too, and
that's in the same place. It's see a Fred Show
on demand YouTube. iHeart wherever you have podcasts.