August 11, 2025 • 27 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I should do a tang lets to a tange quick
(00:02):
tange time hit the intro HiT's the tangent giving you
all this shit we couldn't talk about on the air.
All right, guys, I don't know how long this will take,
Probably not that long. But let's talk about cheaters one time.
About cheaters. Yes, because Shaquille O'Neal, Shaquille O'Neill, who I
think is an admitted cheater and talks about how he
(00:22):
messed up his life and his marriage and all these
things because he was a bad boy. He says that
there are three types of cheaters. And let's see if
we agree with this and if it matters really, But
he says, I think there are three types of cheaters.
The serial cheater, that James Bond cheater, and then the
(00:42):
guy that's forced to cheat. The last category is we
can discuss. But James Bond cheater is I do everything right,
m boom boom, nobody sees me boom boom boom, I
come back home to my normal.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Life boom boom boom.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
So you're able to boom boom boom, keep it all
unders and nobody knows. The guy that's forced to cheat
is I've been on the road for a week. I
come home and you be like, I can't. I gotta
do my podcast. That's the first one.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I gotta make up like you just four or five
days in a row. I'm reading this verbatim. You're not
taking care of your man. And then he does what
he does. And then the serial cheater, the guy just
do whatever. So we got the we got the sneaky cheat.
According to him, we got the sneaky cheater. We got
(01:33):
the serial cheater who, no matter what, just is cheating,
just out here cheating and it doesn't write and it
just doesn't matter if not James Bondish about it, just
out here, like you know, just dick out, you know,
like check it out. And then and then you've got
let's talk more on this category. The guy is forced
to cheat now, no one is forced to cheat right now.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
So my man could be at home.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Well right right, because you know big tim is he
just texted you and was like come home, and you're like, no,
but I'm doing the tangent.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I'm doing my podcast right now.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Like I didn't want to have to do this, right,
but I am forced to get an app and download
it and like, you know, get some chick to come
over and blow me.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Wow crazy well lux watches.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Oh please down? Yeah, yes, that my house and the
whole house.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Now, this is what I'll say this, And no one
is forced to cheat. Nobody should cheat whatever if there is,
if there's no sex in your relationship, whatsoever, for an
extended period of time and one person wants it and
the other doesn't, I would argue that, like, you've got
a major problem in your relationship, and maybe the relationship
will come to an end, but I think it likely
(02:49):
should come to an end before you know, you sort
of backdoor go find it somewhere else. I mean, no
one is forced to cheat. I mean people are, People
have needs, and people are might feel forced to fulfill them,
But that doesn't mean that you have to cheat on
someone in order to do that. Like, if the dysfunction,
if it's your relationship, is to a point where you're
(03:10):
not fucking anymore and you're not going to talk about
it and you're not going to resolve it, well then
you should. And it's that important to you. There's probably
bigger issues going on and you either solve them or
break up and move on. But I don't understand why
you stay in a dysfunctional relationship and then also cheat.
I mean, I guess you could be. I've heard of
the scenario where like people have kids, and you know,
(03:32):
people get caught up in the family lifestyle. You know,
it's like raising kids and work and practical soccer practice,
and by the end of the day, everyone's tired and
goes to sleep. And it's not necessarily that there's a
lack of interest or love. It's that it's just not
a priority anymore. And it feels forced. And so then
I've heard of people stepping out in that situation because
(03:53):
it's like, well I feel like I'm I'm second fiddle
to my kids and or vice versa, and and they
go out and find some sort of strange but it's
like no one's forced to do. I mean, there are
a lot of scenarios where it happens, and a lot
of serios where happens because people feel ignored or unwanted.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
You know, it's forced to cheat.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Ever, ever, and I hate the dialogue of like you're
not giving him any so like he just he can't
help himself. Like we can all control ourselves. And if
you need to diddle yourself. Do that privately, we can all.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Have a converst publicly do.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Yourself exactly, Jason, I was talking to you.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Jason, You're not forced to didle yourself public do You
can't tell me what to do.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Have a conversation and leave the relationship if you need to.
I don't understand how this is still happening, Like, this
is crazy, shack you. You do a lot of good
for the community. You need to knock this one off.
I'm pissed.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Or if you're gonna then be a James Bond cheater,
make sure nobody ever finds out.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
That's the best kind of cheater in my opinion.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
What there is no good?
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Well, if you're gonna be one, you're gonna be one.
Don't like, don't let anybody know. That's how I feel
like you should do it.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
What do you do though, if you're in a situation where,
like I think this happens a lot though where people
and I wouldn't know because I've not done any of
these things. But you're in a relationship, you're in a marriage,
and it's that there's no like lack of love or
even like it's just there just is in time in
the day and and yes, I mean, and again, I
(05:20):
don't know what this is. Like I've never been in
a relationship long enough to where we're having to like
schedule it or talk about doing it. But like, I
don't think i'd want to be in a situation where it's, honey, like,
can we have sex tonight please? You know, Okay, all right,
we'll do it tonight, Like I don't know, it would
be like I'll just do it myself. Like I don't
want you just to do it because I told you
(05:42):
that I want to do it, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Like, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
And I realized that that's what happens in relationships, is
like it's not maybe as exciting as it is in
the beginning, and so you have to sort of reinvent.
But I mean, what do you that's a bad situation
to be in. And I think it's a probably pretty
common situation where you're like having to add ask for it.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
You don't want to cheat.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I'm not saying you should cheat by any means, but
you also, it's not that much fun if you're having
to say, like, okay, now it's you know, my birthday's
coming up, Like oh, god, whatever, you know what I mean, Like,
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
How you avoid that's so cringed.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I mean, you got a kid at home and all
that stuff, and you all you managed to make it work.
But like, would you say, Hobby does I probably even
know this podcast exists so you can be honest, But
do you ever find yourself like kind of just like
acting like you want to do it, but you're tired
from all the shit you're doing.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
I am tired every single day, like I stay tired.
And actually on my podcast, Don't Cheat Hobby, But on
my other podcast, I talked to a relationship like coach
I guess if you will, and she talks about this
a lot, and you know she because I was like,
what do we do right, like get tired end of
the day, like and anyone could be tired, don't even
need kids, like you can just be fucking tired, So like,
what do I do type thing? And she says, essentially,
(06:57):
it's just like kind of finding that energy in that
time and you will feel differently and better on the
other side of it. And that advice weirdly has worked
for me because I'm like, after sex, I'm like I'm
so happy we did that because hey, I mean like
I got you know, I got my rocks soft. So
I'm very happy. And number two like I feel connected
to my husband. I don't see him a lot right now.
He's working a lot, so yeah, he's not even like
(07:17):
really home when I'm home. We have complete ops schedules,
so it's really our time. But there are nights yes
where I'm like, how about a nice backrope instead? And
that gets him because he loves a massage and I
just don't feel like it. But then I started thinking, hey,
what's more work now you know we're bab or just sex.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Yeah, but we'll just getting from the.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I've heard I've heard from.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
It's hard, and I think like because work in this job,
we can all agree like we got to go to
better lead and we wake up or it's a whole thing.
We all do one hundred million things after the show.
So it's it's hard. It's very different.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
I think there's a sexier way to quote unquote schedule
than ian. Like if it's been a minute and you
realize that, then you can start with a text at work,
like you know, I know sometimes we fall asleep before
we actually deliver, but you know, like later tonight.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Maybe like you know, here's what I'm going to do
to you.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Yeah, because I think sometimes someone needs to call it
because with this job, I mean, I'm fucking tired.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, but like the people that say they're cheating on
them right right me get on your nuts?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah, Like yeah, I'm actually going to get you on
the nuts. So like, yeah, I need you not to
get off the nuts, like I need you to affix
yourself to said nuts. But I don't know, like if
you it's got to be more than that though, because
if you're too tired to have sex in your relationship,
but then you're you find the energy to go cheat,
like it's.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
So much more than yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yeah, that's not.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Like you have to feel rejected, like you've got to
feel like like it's never gonna happen.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
But still not an excuse.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Unless you're just a narcissist and you just believe that
everybody should just do everything for you and it doesn't
matter if you heard other people because your needs come first,
which I think is why a lot of people cheat.
But it's get Yeah, I mean just to say, like
my wife won't give it up because she's tired, I
would argue two things. One that's no reason to cheat,
(09:06):
and then two, if she's always tired, then she's not
always tired.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
She just doesn't. You know.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
If you want it and you feel connected, then you'll
find the energy. Sometimes maybe not the way you did
when you were twenty five, but you won't just not
do it at all. But I do kind of wonder.
I do wonder this much. If you're in a relationship
and let's just make it, I'll just flip it because
I don't want to make it about, you know, the
woman not giving it up. Let's say that I'm in
(09:33):
a relationship and I just won't I never want to
have sex. Like I don't want to have sex with you.
I don't break up with you. It's not dysfunctional. I
just don't want to have sex with you. And over
and over and over and over again, I tell you. No.
I'm not saying that I should expect to be cheated on,
but like, am what am I expecting to happen? If
I just don't give a shit about having physical intimacy
(09:55):
with you, I should expect to get dumped. I should
expect to have a conversation if I'm not gonna if
the conversation's not going to be had. What do you
do if you've got a family and the person's like, look,
I want to get laid. You don't want to have
sex with me, but I don't want to blow up
my kids' lives. Should I be surprised really if over
time somebody goes and finds it somewhere else? I mean,
I know that's an argument that people make, and I
(10:17):
know that's kind of what Jack is saying in a
very flippant way. But if if we're in a situation
where we don't want to blow up our lives but
one of us doesn't want to bang, I mean, is
that when you have a conversation and you sit down
and go, hey, look I really want this, you don't.
There's no lack of love here, but like, should I
(10:37):
be seeking this elsewhere?
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Kind of thing?
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I mean, But then if you say that, you're an asshole,
because then a person's going to be like, oh my gosh,
you're asking me for permission to cheat.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
But I don't.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I guess I don't know if that would be an
unfair conversation to have if over time, because I know
of relationships where that. In this case, the woman has
basically said to the dude like I don't have any
interest in fucking you. Oh wow, and they're married, well, like,
what what's fair in that situation?
Speaker 4 (11:01):
It's all communication. Like if you come to me and
you say I'm not getting this, first, you need to ask, like,
is something going on with you? Do you just feel
the same like that, that's like what is going on deeper?
And then if the person then says, hey, I just
don't want to have sex anymore. I know sometimes women
will have like a hysterectomy and they'll be like, you know,
I don't want it whatever. Whatever the thing is, or
it's the man thing or he you know, grew out
(11:22):
of his libido, whatever. Then the person can say here's
your options and here's what we can do. But it's
always communication first.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I guess it's just you can't. I mean, it's a
human desire. And so if you're if you're going to
be in a relationship and you're not going to do it,
I agree with you by the communication, but it would
all it's like I guess I wouldn't be surprised if
over an extended period of time and I don't mean
days or weeks, No, like maybe you get months or years.
I guess you couldn't be surprised. You shouldn't be surprised
(11:51):
if the person comes to you and says, basically, I'm
asking for permission to do it somewhere else, because but
I think people would be.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
You don't want to hurt. Yeah, for sure. You don't
want to feel rejected.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
By your partner, right or you don't want to feel
like they don't want you. Like I told Hobby, I
was like, you know, if we're gonna do this whole,
you know together for everything, we got to keep shit exciting,
spicy as much as we can, right, Like we're only
two people were going to do so much. But like
I one thing that I will do with Hobby is
like I will never make him feel rejected. Like I'm
very honest. If I'm like, hey, like I don't know,
(12:22):
like I it's been a long day, I'm gonna like
pass out, like I'm not waiting up for you.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Fine, totally.
Speaker 6 (12:28):
But if we're in bed watching BMF or something and
then you know we're just cuddling, like then that's like
our time. And like sometimes I'll even like start doing
things to him so that he knows I want it too,
because I do want it. Not every single day, but
I want it, you know what I mean, Because some
days I am just too tired. So I think it's
really about putting in that effort too. Again, this is
if you want to fuck the person you're with. Like,
I'm not forcing anyone to like do that. I'm just
(12:49):
saying to me, it's like important to show a little
bit of like, like I don't know, spontaneousness because back
when you know, when you first start dating, like you're
fucking on couches, right, You're like sneaking around, You're doing
all these things.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Yeah that stops. That's why we started six months or so. Yeah,
everybody knows we stopped fucking on the cast.
Speaker 6 (13:04):
Now we got our own home, our own roof over
our head, our own bed. So like I'm like, well,
every day this can start to feel boring or stale.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
It can for him too. This is not just me.
Speaker 6 (13:12):
I make a feel for anybody. So I'm like, well,
how do we keep things like high? You know, like
you know, I told him I come into the shower
one day, I don't care, like surprise me, like do
something that like you would have done six years ago,
like on some spontaneous fun shit, like I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Open to it.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I guess she's from an accountabil and accountability standpoint. If
I am not having sex with my partner for a
very long period of time, it's never okay to cheat,
and no one should assume that it is. But how
surprised could I be if I found out that my
partner went somewhere else because I refuse to do it.
I mean again, it's cheating, it's wrong. You shouldn't do it.
(13:49):
But like, how long do I get a pass? How
long do I not have to figure it out, make
some effort, or break up with you or something you know,
or figure out what the disconnect is so we can
move past it. Cause it's got to be a disconnect. Yeah,
you know what I mean, Like, because I assume you
want to get laid too. And then to Caitlin's point,
what if you have zero interest in sex but you're
in a relationship, You have zero interest, but your partner
(14:12):
still wants it. Yeah, and you're not gonna do it?
Like I guess, I don't. What are you supposed to do?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And I'm asking the question because I don't know. Are
you just confined to the fact that you're never going
to get laid again? And maybe that's the answer.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I guess.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I guess by definition, that is the answer, you know,
if if you look at it from a moral ethical standpoint,
like you're not supposed to fuck other people when you're
in a marriage or committed relationship. So I suppose that's
what that's what could happen. But I don't know.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
Everybody should want some sex somewhere, something like a little
tangle here there, something.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
So if you don't want.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
That, then, like she said, Caitlyn said, communicate, And I
think it's important. Sometimes a lot of partners will not
be delivering on anything else outside of the relationship, but
only wanting sex.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
And it's like, why don't you.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Want to have sex with me, Like because the bills
aren't paid? Because there you go, yeah parts your n asshole.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
You know, it's like you are women are tied period,
you know.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
No, it's just something for me too.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I've been in relationships where people are like, why aren't
we fucking I'm like, because we're not getting along because
you did right, because I'm not because I'm not liking
you a whole lot right now. And I know people
that can shut it off. I know people that can
keep fucking even when it's but I really can't.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Like I just I'm like, dude, if.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I if I'm not cool with you.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Then we got cool.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I'm a fucking right right right though.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
But a lot of people can shut it off, and
then they can they can differentiate. They can be like, well,
let's go get it in, or some people try. Some
people would argue, like, you know, makeup sex or if
we're fighting with fucking out or whatever. But it doesn't
that does not work for me because I'm I'm sort
of repelled from you.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
I'm either into it.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I'm either on or I'm off with you from a
connectivity standpoint, and if I'm off, then I just can't.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I wish I could, because I'm sure it would probably
solve a lot of problems if I just put it
down on you, But I don't know. I can't do it,
and it's been a problem. It's like, why don't we
fuck more? I'm like, cause because I don't trust your ass.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
Right and it's never usually about the fucking. That's why
I'm saying talk first. Like, what's really going on? Are
you not fulfilling your relationship duties as I am, Like
Kiki brought up, then, like what's really happening here? Because
it's not just about the sex.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I also wonder if it's a trap, like the situations
I know where the people are, Like I've got a
couple of different people I know who their wives are
basically said I'm not going to have sex with you anymore.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
I'm just not.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And in fact, I know I know at least one
where they say and feel free to venture out, just
don't let me find out about it, and don't embarrass us.
But I kind of wonder if that's a trap because
it's like you're you're telling me I can cheat. But
when you but when somebody finds out that I did it,
are you going to own that? Are you going to
say to your friends and family? No, I did tell him.
(16:50):
You know that he could do that, Or you're gonna
be like, no, this fucking asshole is a cheater, and
and you're the one go but wait a minute, and
then you have to expose all the internet, and then
you're an asshole for exposing all the Internet. It's just
I don't No, that's not a situation I would be
comfortable with.
Speaker 5 (17:01):
It's a slippery slope because you tell somebody go out
and do it, and then they go out and fall
in love with the next one or you're out, Like,
I would never open that door.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Mm mmm.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I've been in some gray areas too, and it's like
I can never again, Like I just can't. I can
never like people, oh, well, this is happening, or this
is you know, completely disconnected or it's completely over.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
What.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
No, it's like, no, I need to see fucking papers. Yeah,
show me, show me papers like I would. I'm gonna
find your action. We're gonna have a I'm gonna put
him under light detector examination, a polygraph. I'm gonna get
a polygrapher in here, and we're gonna fucking ask him
because I don't know. There's so many gray areas and
it well, but it's open, Is it over? Because if
it's over, it's over.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
But I also know that life is complicated sometimes, so
I know that there is a gray A gray area
does exist. It just never seems to work out for
me because I feel like I never have all the information.
So never again. That's a new rule for me in
my personal constitution. No more gray area. No more, we
do full polygraphic examination. The last person that you fornicated with,
(18:06):
Actually that doesn't even count because you you might be
probably fuck somebody in the gray area. So I need
I'm sorry, I need to interview the last five people
inside of you. Oh even if it was like ten
years ago. Oh shit, No, yeah, that's what we're gonna do.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Now. I need to hire like a.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
CSI, UH, CIA, FBI, whatever other Act three letter acronym.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I need to get them all involved, FAA, you know,
I get them.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I need to get them all involved, and we need
I need a full dossier on what the hell you've
been up to, because people don't tell the truth.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
No, I want to talk to fa Why can't y'all
get therapy?
Speaker 3 (18:40):
I want to talk to the FAA.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Well, they're working on that, but no, pilots are not
allowed to get therapy unless they go to the FAA
and they tell them that they're doing it. And then
the FAA gets involved in your whole medical history and
the process. They want to know why, they want you
cognitively tested, they want all this stuff. So so you
are not allowed to because well, then it would be
why you're going to therapy. Oh you're anxious. Oh that's
(19:04):
a problem. Oh you're depressed. Oh that's a problem. And
it is a problem. You're right, But what happens is
pilots don't tell, and the FAA jack shit because they
don't want them to get involved in the process and
it could take months years for them to sort it
out with you. So pilots don't tell the fa what
they're doing, or they don't more importantly, the ones that
don't want to lie, they just don't do it. And
(19:26):
for me, that's way worse than anything. Do you really
want your pilot self medicating with alcohol or drums or
being fucking depressed and not getting help because he's afraid
he's gonna lose his medical and then thus lose his
job because you can't be a pilot without a medical.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
No, it's a big problem. It is, and supposedly it's
being overhauled, but my FA doctor has told me many
times it will never be as cut and dry as
it should be because of liability.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
That is heartbreaking.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
But I know a lot of pilots that just they
would very much benefit from XYZ and they don't do
it because they don't want to lie because if you
get caught lying, then you're.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
In deep shit.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Then it's then it's there's like fines and penalties and felonies,
and that's.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
My new cause.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Whatever. It's a worthy cause. Yeah, it's a worthy cause.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
And you've got yeah, no, it's something that i've you know,
there are a few organizations that deal with it, and.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
It's a green flag.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
There needs to be an overhaul. There needs to be
an overhaul. But anyway, Shack's not a pilot, so he
can go to all the therapy he wants, and he
can James Bond fuck as much as he wants.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
I think the.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
James Bond cheaters are probably the worst. Like if you can,
if you can, if you are actively like strategizing your
side fucking you know what I mean, like to the
point where you're covering things up and like like you
really got to think about that. Like if you are
cheating without a trace, then you are like really trying,
(20:51):
you know what I mean, Like if you are if
you are an effort, if you're putting effort into your cheating,
like that feels even worse criminal, you know what I mean,
Like like, man, you really had to think about that,
like you had to plan trips out of town, and
you had to get me out of town, and you
had to be all conniving and I never knew, boy,
you're good.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Like that would hurt me even.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
More really than the sloppy one, who just is like
so narcissistic that they're like, I'm gonna be fine either way,
and I'm gonna stick my dick anywhere.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Well, that one hurts too. But I guess that one
is like kind of predictable, like, oh, I probably should
have known. I've dealt with that one before, where it's
just you know, lucy goosey, lucy goosey stuff, and it's
just like, oh, I should have just known, right, But
the slick one, that's the one you never saw coming
and like, boy, you really worked at that.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Yeah, that's scary to be able to do that, for sure.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, Cause I mean that takes
a lot of It takes a lot of effort now
to get caught if you think about it.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So that would be the most offensive kind of cheating,
in mind that the James Bond cheating would be the
most defensive in.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Order it just seems tiring.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah, yeah, I don't get it. I don't get why.
And you'll hear people say, well, I don't want to
hurt my partner's feelings. What do you think is going
to happen when he or she finds out that you've
been boning in somebody else?
Speaker 3 (22:05):
It's gonna hurt.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, it's probably It will just be doubly bad then
if you just broke up with them.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
So what is cheat responsibly to you? Then?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Uh, well that would be I think James Bond cheating.
I think James Bond cheating would be the ironclad I'll
never be no one will ever know. Okay, but I
don't know that you can sustainably do that. I think
you can. I think you can one off cheat and
but even that's hard to do in twenty twenty five
because everyone is discoverable.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
Yeah, James bon cheater just has to find another James
Bond cheater.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Honestly, you want to know what I think. I think
cheat responsibly. And we joke about cheating responsibly and you
should not cheat, but cheating responsibily is probably hiring a
professional because I know some people who again I've never
done this, I can tell you like, yeah, I can
tell you like scouts on her. I couldn't do it
for a lot of reasons. One because I need the
feedback from my part I need genuine feedback from my partner.
(22:57):
You would overthink that, right, so it would it would
do nothing for me because it would be like, you're
fucking you're moaning because.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I paid you. Shut the fuck up, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I con would drive me crazy, and I'm I'm Jeremy
and I could and I don't share.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
But the guys who I know who have they feel
that's the most responsible way. And what they'll say is
one guy told me one time, I don't pay for
the sex. I pay for them to go away because
they have too much to lose to expose you. So
they're and they want your return business or other people's business.
So the discretion is part of the process if you're hiring,
(23:31):
you know, high end shit. So so yeah, I guess
that's the only way I could think of cheating responsibly
is if you were you got professionals involved. Wow, Because
even if you're with someone who tells you it's okay,
I've heard the tale so old as time. Oh no,
I'm good with I'm good with this. I'm good with this.
And then if it really continues, it becomes like a relationship.
Eventually someone's going to be like fall in love or
(23:53):
catch feelings or you know, is going to blow you
up or whatever. So I think you got to hire
somebody that or you got to be fucking with somebody
who's also married, because everyone's got to have equal risk.
If everybody doesn't have equal risk in the scenario, then
it's bound to blow up. In my opinion, think about that.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
I would be so pissed if I found out you
were paying for it like you were, you were paying somebody.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Would you or would you? I mean, you're gonna be
pissed no matter what. Like we're talking right now, there's
no emotion involved in this, but at least that's transactional.
It's like it's not I would I think I'd be
heard more about that about you falling in love with
someone else and fucking them.
Speaker 5 (24:37):
I don't to me, you real freaked out if you
out here paying for what you got at home to
freaked out for me?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
But I guess you know. To wrap it up, it's like,
do you do you blow up a marriage or a relationship.
If your partners has given up on sex, do you
and you've communicated that, and they've told you that and
been forthright, do you do you just blow it up?
And does your partner if they're if they're vulnerable enough
(25:05):
to tell you that, are they expecting that you're not
going to go anywhere?
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I mean, that's delusional, I think, but that's not to
go anywhere.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
But technically, if you're married, that that's part of it.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
I would try everything in my power in my playbook
before I would either cheat or leave my relationship.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
That's tricky. I wonder how that works. I wouldn't know.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
I set up a date and I set up a vacation,
try it, try it all right?
Speaker 6 (25:32):
And there's something wrong with chap with like, with like
blowing up the relationship and in sense of like, everyone
deserves to be happy, right, And if sex is important
to you, which it is for a lot of people, right,
some people truly don't care about it, right. I think
that's just a smaller portion of the world. But if
it's important to you, you know, you want to be
fucking till you can't, then then leave. I would say
leave it and you gotta it sucks to rebuild your
(25:52):
life and like break up your family, get two houses.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I get that.
Speaker 6 (25:56):
Like now things are different, well not easy.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
And they're going to be exams. I'm sure of the
opposite or you know, of different scenarios, but I would
I would continue to argue if you're in a relationship
and the person claims they just don't want sex anymore,
I'm sure there are you know, to Klein's point, there's
some health issues or you know, other things. But I
would always I would argue the vast majority of the time,
it's a disconnect that has nothing to do with the physicality.
(26:21):
It's it's an emotional disconnect of some kind. If you're
being honest with yourself for the most party, I mean,
you know, people get sick or they you know, they
have limitations or or you know, repercussions from illness or whatever.
I mean again, there are people listening now going no,
I lost interest in sex for some other reason. They
remove the parts or whatever it is. But like, I
don't think that's every case. I think most cases it's
(26:43):
probably there's a disconnect that could be resolved if you
were willing to really get your hands dirty, and I
think a lot of people aren't. But anyway, you're right, well,
what kind of cheater are you? Leave a comment? Yeah,
I've noticed a lot of that. It's like and and
and and when they do it, when these influencers do it,
(27:05):
it's like so corny, you know, like I see these
travel influence It's it'll be like, yeah, you know we're
about to review Turkish are business class? Leave a comment?
Do you like the aisle seat or the window seat?
And it's like, I'm like running the cotton windows. Tell
you come on, come like give me they ask me
(27:26):
to comment something good, like run.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Of the comments? Right?
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Have you ever been cheated on?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Right, what kind of cheater are you? Run of the
comments right now? And if you would, if you're if
we're telling you to do things, and if you would
go to our YouTube if you made it this far
and search Fred Show Radio and subscribe and all the
good things got videos up there and on the iHeart app,
Well you might be listening to this. You can subscribe
to the Tangent and our main podcast, uh it is
(27:50):
Fred Show on demand
I should do a tang lets to a tange quick
(00:02):
tange time hit the intro HiT's the tangent giving you
all this shit we couldn't talk about on the air.
All right, guys, I don't know how long this will take,
Probably not that long. But let's talk about cheaters one time.
About cheaters. Yes, because Shaquille O'Neal, Shaquille O'Neill, who I
think is an admitted cheater and talks about how he
(00:22):
messed up his life and his marriage and all these
things because he was a bad boy. He says that
there are three types of cheaters. And let's see if
we agree with this and if it matters really, But
he says, I think there are three types of cheaters.
The serial cheater, that James Bond cheater, and then the
(00:42):
guy that's forced to cheat. The last category is we
can discuss. But James Bond cheater is I do everything right,
m boom boom, nobody sees me boom boom boom, I
come back home to my normal.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Life boom boom boom.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
So you're able to boom boom boom, keep it all
unders and nobody knows. The guy that's forced to cheat
is I've been on the road for a week. I
come home and you be like, I can't. I gotta
do my podcast. That's the first one.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I gotta make up like you just four or five
days in a row. I'm reading this verbatim. You're not
taking care of your man. And then he does what
he does. And then the serial cheater, the guy just
do whatever. So we got the we got the sneaky cheat.
According to him, we got the sneaky cheater. We got
(01:33):
the serial cheater who, no matter what, just is cheating,
just out here cheating and it doesn't write and it
just doesn't matter if not James Bondish about it, just
out here, like you know, just dick out, you know,
like check it out. And then and then you've got
let's talk more on this category. The guy is forced
to cheat now, no one is forced to cheat right now.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
So my man could be at home.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Well right right, because you know big tim is he
just texted you and was like come home, and you're like, no,
but I'm doing the tangent.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I'm doing my podcast right now.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Like I didn't want to have to do this, right,
but I am forced to get an app and download
it and like, you know, get some chick to come
over and blow me.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Wow crazy well lux watches.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Oh please down? Yeah, yes, that my house and the
whole house.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Now, this is what I'll say this, And no one
is forced to cheat. Nobody should cheat whatever if there is,
if there's no sex in your relationship, whatsoever, for an
extended period of time and one person wants it and
the other doesn't, I would argue that, like, you've got
a major problem in your relationship, and maybe the relationship
will come to an end, but I think it likely
(02:49):
should come to an end before you know, you sort
of backdoor go find it somewhere else. I mean, no
one is forced to cheat. I mean people are, People
have needs, and people are might feel forced to fulfill them,
But that doesn't mean that you have to cheat on
someone in order to do that. Like, if the dysfunction,
if it's your relationship, is to a point where you're
(03:10):
not fucking anymore and you're not going to talk about
it and you're not going to resolve it, well then
you should. And it's that important to you. There's probably
bigger issues going on and you either solve them or
break up and move on. But I don't understand why
you stay in a dysfunctional relationship and then also cheat.
I mean, I guess you could be. I've heard of
the scenario where like people have kids, and you know,
(03:32):
people get caught up in the family lifestyle. You know,
it's like raising kids and work and practical soccer practice,
and by the end of the day, everyone's tired and
goes to sleep. And it's not necessarily that there's a
lack of interest or love. It's that it's just not
a priority anymore. And it feels forced. And so then
I've heard of people stepping out in that situation because
(03:53):
it's like, well I feel like I'm I'm second fiddle
to my kids and or vice versa, and and they
go out and find some sort of strange but it's
like no one's forced to do. I mean, there are
a lot of scenarios where it happens, and a lot
of serios where happens because people feel ignored or unwanted.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
You know, it's forced to cheat.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Ever, ever, and I hate the dialogue of like you're
not giving him any so like he just he can't
help himself. Like we can all control ourselves. And if
you need to diddle yourself. Do that privately, we can all.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Have a converst publicly do.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Yourself exactly, Jason, I was talking to you.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Jason, You're not forced to didle yourself public do You
can't tell me what to do.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Have a conversation and leave the relationship if you need to.
I don't understand how this is still happening, Like, this
is crazy, shack you. You do a lot of good
for the community. You need to knock this one off.
I'm pissed.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Or if you're gonna then be a James Bond cheater,
make sure nobody ever finds out.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
That's the best kind of cheater in my opinion.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
What there is no good?
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Well, if you're gonna be one, you're gonna be one.
Don't like, don't let anybody know. That's how I feel
like you should do it.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
What do you do though, if you're in a situation where,
like I think this happens a lot though where people
and I wouldn't know because I've not done any of
these things. But you're in a relationship, you're in a marriage,
and it's that there's no like lack of love or
even like it's just there just is in time in
the day and and yes, I mean, and again, I
(05:20):
don't know what this is. Like I've never been in
a relationship long enough to where we're having to like
schedule it or talk about doing it. But like, I
don't think i'd want to be in a situation where it's, honey, like,
can we have sex tonight please? You know, Okay, all right,
we'll do it tonight, Like I don't know, it would
be like I'll just do it myself. Like I don't
want you just to do it because I told you
(05:42):
that I want to do it, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Like, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
And I realized that that's what happens in relationships, is
like it's not maybe as exciting as it is in
the beginning, and so you have to sort of reinvent.
But I mean, what do you that's a bad situation
to be in. And I think it's a probably pretty
common situation where you're like having to add ask for it.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
You don't want to cheat.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I'm not saying you should cheat by any means, but
you also, it's not that much fun if you're having
to say, like, okay, now it's you know, my birthday's
coming up, Like oh, god, whatever, you know what I mean, Like,
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
How you avoid that's so cringed.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I mean, you got a kid at home and all
that stuff, and you all you managed to make it work.
But like, would you say, Hobby does I probably even
know this podcast exists so you can be honest, But
do you ever find yourself like kind of just like
acting like you want to do it, but you're tired
from all the shit you're doing.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
I am tired every single day, like I stay tired.
And actually on my podcast, Don't Cheat Hobby, But on
my other podcast, I talked to a relationship like coach
I guess if you will, and she talks about this
a lot, and you know she because I was like,
what do we do right, like get tired end of
the day, like and anyone could be tired, don't even
need kids, like you can just be fucking tired, So like,
what do I do type thing? And she says, essentially,
(06:57):
it's just like kind of finding that energy in that
time and you will feel differently and better on the
other side of it. And that advice weirdly has worked
for me because I'm like, after sex, I'm like I'm
so happy we did that because hey, I mean like
I got you know, I got my rocks soft. So
I'm very happy. And number two like I feel connected
to my husband. I don't see him a lot right now.
He's working a lot, so yeah, he's not even like
(07:17):
really home when I'm home. We have complete ops schedules,
so it's really our time. But there are nights yes
where I'm like, how about a nice backrope instead? And
that gets him because he loves a massage and I
just don't feel like it. But then I started thinking, hey,
what's more work now you know we're bab or just sex.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Yeah, but we'll just getting from the.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I've heard I've heard from.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
It's hard, and I think like because work in this job,
we can all agree like we got to go to
better lead and we wake up or it's a whole thing.
We all do one hundred million things after the show.
So it's it's hard. It's very different.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
I think there's a sexier way to quote unquote schedule
than ian. Like if it's been a minute and you
realize that, then you can start with a text at work,
like you know, I know sometimes we fall asleep before
we actually deliver, but you know, like later tonight.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Maybe like you know, here's what I'm going to do
to you.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Yeah, because I think sometimes someone needs to call it
because with this job, I mean, I'm fucking tired.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, but like the people that say they're cheating on
them right right me get on your nuts?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah, Like yeah, I'm actually going to get you on
the nuts. So like, yeah, I need you not to
get off the nuts, like I need you to affix
yourself to said nuts. But I don't know, like if
you it's got to be more than that though, because
if you're too tired to have sex in your relationship,
but then you're you find the energy to go cheat,
like it's.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
So much more than yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yeah, that's not.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Like you have to feel rejected, like you've got to
feel like like it's never gonna happen.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
But still not an excuse.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Unless you're just a narcissist and you just believe that
everybody should just do everything for you and it doesn't
matter if you heard other people because your needs come first,
which I think is why a lot of people cheat.
But it's get Yeah, I mean just to say, like
my wife won't give it up because she's tired, I
would argue two things. One that's no reason to cheat,
(09:06):
and then two, if she's always tired, then she's not
always tired.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
She just doesn't. You know.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
If you want it and you feel connected, then you'll
find the energy. Sometimes maybe not the way you did
when you were twenty five, but you won't just not
do it at all. But I do kind of wonder.
I do wonder this much. If you're in a relationship
and let's just make it, I'll just flip it because
I don't want to make it about, you know, the
woman not giving it up. Let's say that I'm in
(09:33):
a relationship and I just won't I never want to
have sex. Like I don't want to have sex with you.
I don't break up with you. It's not dysfunctional. I
just don't want to have sex with you. And over
and over and over and over again, I tell you. No.
I'm not saying that I should expect to be cheated on,
but like, am what am I expecting to happen? If
I just don't give a shit about having physical intimacy
(09:55):
with you, I should expect to get dumped. I should
expect to have a conversation if I'm not gonna if
the conversation's not going to be had. What do you
do if you've got a family and the person's like, look,
I want to get laid. You don't want to have
sex with me, but I don't want to blow up
my kids' lives. Should I be surprised really if over
time somebody goes and finds it somewhere else? I mean,
I know that's an argument that people make, and I
(10:17):
know that's kind of what Jack is saying in a
very flippant way. But if if we're in a situation
where we don't want to blow up our lives but
one of us doesn't want to bang, I mean, is
that when you have a conversation and you sit down
and go, hey, look I really want this, you don't.
There's no lack of love here, but like, should I
(10:37):
be seeking this elsewhere?
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Kind of thing?
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I mean, But then if you say that, you're an asshole,
because then a person's going to be like, oh my gosh,
you're asking me for permission to cheat.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
But I don't.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I guess I don't know if that would be an
unfair conversation to have if over time, because I know
of relationships where that. In this case, the woman has
basically said to the dude like I don't have any
interest in fucking you. Oh wow, and they're married, well, like,
what what's fair in that situation?
Speaker 4 (11:01):
It's all communication. Like if you come to me and
you say I'm not getting this, first, you need to ask, like,
is something going on with you? Do you just feel
the same like that, that's like what is going on deeper?
And then if the person then says, hey, I just
don't want to have sex anymore. I know sometimes women
will have like a hysterectomy and they'll be like, you know,
I don't want it whatever. Whatever the thing is, or
it's the man thing or he you know, grew out
(11:22):
of his libido, whatever. Then the person can say here's
your options and here's what we can do. But it's
always communication first.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I guess it's just you can't. I mean, it's a
human desire. And so if you're if you're going to
be in a relationship and you're not going to do it,
I agree with you by the communication, but it would
all it's like I guess I wouldn't be surprised if
over an extended period of time and I don't mean
days or weeks, No, like maybe you get months or years.
I guess you couldn't be surprised. You shouldn't be surprised
(11:51):
if the person comes to you and says, basically, I'm
asking for permission to do it somewhere else, because but
I think people would be.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
You don't want to hurt. Yeah, for sure. You don't
want to feel rejected.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
By your partner, right or you don't want to feel
like they don't want you. Like I told Hobby, I
was like, you know, if we're gonna do this whole,
you know together for everything, we got to keep shit exciting,
spicy as much as we can, right, Like we're only
two people were going to do so much. But like
I one thing that I will do with Hobby is
like I will never make him feel rejected. Like I'm
very honest. If I'm like, hey, like I don't know,
(12:22):
like I it's been a long day, I'm gonna like
pass out, like I'm not waiting up for you.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Fine, totally.
Speaker 6 (12:28):
But if we're in bed watching BMF or something and
then you know we're just cuddling, like then that's like
our time. And like sometimes I'll even like start doing
things to him so that he knows I want it too,
because I do want it. Not every single day, but
I want it, you know what I mean, Because some
days I am just too tired. So I think it's
really about putting in that effort too. Again, this is
if you want to fuck the person you're with. Like,
I'm not forcing anyone to like do that. I'm just
(12:49):
saying to me, it's like important to show a little
bit of like, like I don't know, spontaneousness because back
when you know, when you first start dating, like you're
fucking on couches, right, You're like sneaking around, You're doing
all these things.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Yeah that stops. That's why we started six months or so. Yeah,
everybody knows we stopped fucking on the cast.
Speaker 6 (13:04):
Now we got our own home, our own roof over
our head, our own bed. So like I'm like, well,
every day this can start to feel boring or stale.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
It can for him too. This is not just me.
Speaker 6 (13:12):
I make a feel for anybody. So I'm like, well,
how do we keep things like high? You know, like
you know, I told him I come into the shower
one day, I don't care, like surprise me, like do
something that like you would have done six years ago,
like on some spontaneous fun shit, like I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Open to it.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I guess she's from an accountabil and accountability standpoint. If
I am not having sex with my partner for a
very long period of time, it's never okay to cheat,
and no one should assume that it is. But how
surprised could I be if I found out that my
partner went somewhere else because I refuse to do it.
I mean again, it's cheating, it's wrong. You shouldn't do it.
(13:49):
But like, how long do I get a pass? How
long do I not have to figure it out, make
some effort, or break up with you or something you know,
or figure out what the disconnect is so we can
move past it. Cause it's got to be a disconnect. Yeah,
you know what I mean, Like, because I assume you
want to get laid too. And then to Caitlin's point,
what if you have zero interest in sex but you're
in a relationship, You have zero interest, but your partner
(14:12):
still wants it. Yeah, and you're not gonna do it?
Like I guess, I don't. What are you supposed to do?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And I'm asking the question because I don't know. Are
you just confined to the fact that you're never going
to get laid again? And maybe that's the answer.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I guess.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I guess by definition, that is the answer, you know,
if if you look at it from a moral ethical standpoint,
like you're not supposed to fuck other people when you're
in a marriage or committed relationship. So I suppose that's
what that's what could happen. But I don't know.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
Everybody should want some sex somewhere, something like a little
tangle here there, something.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
So if you don't want.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
That, then, like she said, Caitlyn said, communicate, And I
think it's important. Sometimes a lot of partners will not
be delivering on anything else outside of the relationship, but
only wanting sex.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
And it's like, why don't you.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Want to have sex with me, Like because the bills
aren't paid? Because there you go, yeah parts your n asshole.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
You know, it's like you are women are tied period,
you know.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
No, it's just something for me too.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I've been in relationships where people are like, why aren't
we fucking I'm like, because we're not getting along because
you did right, because I'm not because I'm not liking
you a whole lot right now. And I know people
that can shut it off. I know people that can
keep fucking even when it's but I really can't.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Like I just I'm like, dude, if.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I if I'm not cool with you.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Then we got cool.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I'm a fucking right right right though.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
But a lot of people can shut it off, and
then they can they can differentiate. They can be like, well,
let's go get it in, or some people try. Some
people would argue, like, you know, makeup sex or if
we're fighting with fucking out or whatever. But it doesn't
that does not work for me because I'm I'm sort
of repelled from you.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
I'm either into it.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I'm either on or I'm off with you from a
connectivity standpoint, and if I'm off, then I just can't.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I wish I could, because I'm sure it would probably
solve a lot of problems if I just put it
down on you, But I don't know. I can't do it,
and it's been a problem. It's like, why don't we
fuck more? I'm like, cause because I don't trust your ass.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
Right and it's never usually about the fucking. That's why
I'm saying talk first. Like, what's really going on? Are
you not fulfilling your relationship duties as I am, Like
Kiki brought up, then, like what's really happening here? Because
it's not just about the sex.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I also wonder if it's a trap, like the situations
I know where the people are, Like I've got a
couple of different people I know who their wives are
basically said I'm not going to have sex with you anymore.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
I'm just not.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And in fact, I know I know at least one
where they say and feel free to venture out, just
don't let me find out about it, and don't embarrass us.
But I kind of wonder if that's a trap because
it's like you're you're telling me I can cheat. But
when you but when somebody finds out that I did it,
are you going to own that? Are you going to
say to your friends and family? No, I did tell him.
(16:50):
You know that he could do that, Or you're gonna
be like, no, this fucking asshole is a cheater, and
and you're the one go but wait a minute, and
then you have to expose all the internet, and then
you're an asshole for exposing all the Internet. It's just
I don't No, that's not a situation I would be
comfortable with.
Speaker 5 (17:01):
It's a slippery slope because you tell somebody go out
and do it, and then they go out and fall
in love with the next one or you're out, Like,
I would never open that door.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Mm mmm.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I've been in some gray areas too, and it's like
I can never again, Like I just can't. I can
never like people, oh, well, this is happening, or this
is you know, completely disconnected or it's completely over.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
What.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
No, it's like, no, I need to see fucking papers. Yeah,
show me, show me papers like I would. I'm gonna
find your action. We're gonna have a I'm gonna put
him under light detector examination, a polygraph. I'm gonna get
a polygrapher in here, and we're gonna fucking ask him
because I don't know. There's so many gray areas and
it well, but it's open, Is it over? Because if
it's over, it's over.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
But I also know that life is complicated sometimes, so
I know that there is a gray A gray area
does exist. It just never seems to work out for
me because I feel like I never have all the information.
So never again. That's a new rule for me in
my personal constitution. No more gray area. No more, we
do full polygraphic examination. The last person that you fornicated with,
(18:06):
Actually that doesn't even count because you you might be
probably fuck somebody in the gray area. So I need
I'm sorry, I need to interview the last five people
inside of you. Oh even if it was like ten
years ago. Oh shit, No, yeah, that's what we're gonna do.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Now. I need to hire like a.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
CSI, UH, CIA, FBI, whatever other Act three letter acronym.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I need to get them all involved, FAA, you know,
I get them.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I need to get them all involved, and we need
I need a full dossier on what the hell you've
been up to, because people don't tell the truth.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
No, I want to talk to fa Why can't y'all
get therapy?
Speaker 3 (18:40):
I want to talk to the FAA.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Well, they're working on that, but no, pilots are not
allowed to get therapy unless they go to the FAA
and they tell them that they're doing it. And then
the FAA gets involved in your whole medical history and
the process. They want to know why, they want you
cognitively tested, they want all this stuff. So so you
are not allowed to because well, then it would be
why you're going to therapy. Oh you're anxious. Oh that's
(19:04):
a problem. Oh you're depressed. Oh that's a problem. And
it is a problem. You're right, But what happens is
pilots don't tell, and the FAA jack shit because they
don't want them to get involved in the process and
it could take months years for them to sort it
out with you. So pilots don't tell the fa what
they're doing, or they don't more importantly, the ones that
don't want to lie, they just don't do it. And
(19:26):
for me, that's way worse than anything. Do you really
want your pilot self medicating with alcohol or drums or
being fucking depressed and not getting help because he's afraid
he's gonna lose his medical and then thus lose his
job because you can't be a pilot without a medical.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
No, it's a big problem. It is, and supposedly it's
being overhauled, but my FA doctor has told me many
times it will never be as cut and dry as
it should be because of liability.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
That is heartbreaking.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
But I know a lot of pilots that just they
would very much benefit from XYZ and they don't do
it because they don't want to lie because if you
get caught lying, then you're.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
In deep shit.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Then it's then it's there's like fines and penalties and felonies,
and that's.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
My new cause.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Whatever. It's a worthy cause. Yeah, it's a worthy cause.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
And you've got yeah, no, it's something that i've you know,
there are a few organizations that deal with it, and.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
It's a green flag.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
There needs to be an overhaul. There needs to be
an overhaul. But anyway, Shack's not a pilot, so he
can go to all the therapy he wants, and he
can James Bond fuck as much as he wants.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
I think the.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
James Bond cheaters are probably the worst. Like if you can,
if you can, if you are actively like strategizing your
side fucking you know what I mean, like to the
point where you're covering things up and like like you
really got to think about that. Like if you are
cheating without a trace, then you are like really trying,
(20:51):
you know what I mean, Like if you are if
you are an effort, if you're putting effort into your cheating,
like that feels even worse criminal, you know what I mean,
Like like, man, you really had to think about that,
like you had to plan trips out of town, and
you had to get me out of town, and you
had to be all conniving and I never knew, boy,
you're good.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Like that would hurt me even.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
More really than the sloppy one, who just is like
so narcissistic that they're like, I'm gonna be fine either way,
and I'm gonna stick my dick anywhere.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Well, that one hurts too. But I guess that one
is like kind of predictable, like, oh, I probably should
have known. I've dealt with that one before, where it's
just you know, lucy goosey, lucy goosey stuff, and it's
just like, oh, I should have just known, right, But
the slick one, that's the one you never saw coming
and like, boy, you really worked at that.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Yeah, that's scary to be able to do that, for sure.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, Cause I mean that takes
a lot of It takes a lot of effort now
to get caught if you think about it.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So that would be the most offensive kind of cheating,
in mind that the James Bond cheating would be the
most defensive in.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Order it just seems tiring.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah, yeah, I don't get it. I don't get why.
And you'll hear people say, well, I don't want to
hurt my partner's feelings. What do you think is going
to happen when he or she finds out that you've
been boning in somebody else?
Speaker 3 (22:05):
It's gonna hurt.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, it's probably It will just be doubly bad then
if you just broke up with them.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
So what is cheat responsibly to you? Then?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Uh, well that would be I think James Bond cheating.
I think James Bond cheating would be the ironclad I'll
never be no one will ever know. Okay, but I
don't know that you can sustainably do that. I think
you can. I think you can one off cheat and
but even that's hard to do in twenty twenty five
because everyone is discoverable.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
Yeah, James bon cheater just has to find another James
Bond cheater.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Honestly, you want to know what I think. I think
cheat responsibly. And we joke about cheating responsibly and you
should not cheat, but cheating responsibily is probably hiring a
professional because I know some people who again I've never
done this, I can tell you like, yeah, I can
tell you like scouts on her. I couldn't do it
for a lot of reasons. One because I need the
feedback from my part I need genuine feedback from my partner.
(22:57):
You would overthink that, right, so it would it would
do nothing for me because it would be like, you're
fucking you're moaning because.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I paid you. Shut the fuck up, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I con would drive me crazy, and I'm I'm Jeremy
and I could and I don't share.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
But the guys who I know who have they feel
that's the most responsible way. And what they'll say is
one guy told me one time, I don't pay for
the sex. I pay for them to go away because
they have too much to lose to expose you. So
they're and they want your return business or other people's business.
So the discretion is part of the process if you're hiring,
(23:31):
you know, high end shit. So so yeah, I guess
that's the only way I could think of cheating responsibly
is if you were you got professionals involved. Wow, Because
even if you're with someone who tells you it's okay,
I've heard the tale so old as time. Oh no,
I'm good with I'm good with this. I'm good with this.
And then if it really continues, it becomes like a relationship.
Eventually someone's going to be like fall in love or
(23:53):
catch feelings or you know, is going to blow you
up or whatever. So I think you got to hire
somebody that or you got to be fucking with somebody
who's also married, because everyone's got to have equal risk.
If everybody doesn't have equal risk in the scenario, then
it's bound to blow up. In my opinion, think about that.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
I would be so pissed if I found out you
were paying for it like you were, you were paying somebody.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Would you or would you? I mean, you're gonna be
pissed no matter what. Like we're talking right now, there's
no emotion involved in this, but at least that's transactional.
It's like it's not I would I think I'd be
heard more about that about you falling in love with
someone else and fucking them.
Speaker 5 (24:37):
I don't to me, you real freaked out if you
out here paying for what you got at home to
freaked out for me?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
But I guess you know. To wrap it up, it's like,
do you do you blow up a marriage or a relationship.
If your partners has given up on sex, do you
and you've communicated that, and they've told you that and
been forthright, do you do you just blow it up?
And does your partner if they're if they're vulnerable enough
(25:05):
to tell you that, are they expecting that you're not
going to go anywhere?
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I mean, that's delusional, I think, but that's not to
go anywhere.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
But technically, if you're married, that that's part of it.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
I would try everything in my power in my playbook
before I would either cheat or leave my relationship.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
That's tricky. I wonder how that works. I wouldn't know.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
I set up a date and I set up a vacation,
try it, try it all right?
Speaker 6 (25:32):
And there's something wrong with chap with like, with like
blowing up the relationship and in sense of like, everyone
deserves to be happy, right, And if sex is important
to you, which it is for a lot of people, right,
some people truly don't care about it, right. I think
that's just a smaller portion of the world. But if
it's important to you, you know, you want to be
fucking till you can't, then then leave. I would say
leave it and you gotta it sucks to rebuild your
(25:52):
life and like break up your family, get two houses.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I get that.
Speaker 6 (25:56):
Like now things are different, well not easy.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
And they're going to be exams. I'm sure of the
opposite or you know, of different scenarios, but I would
I would continue to argue if you're in a relationship
and the person claims they just don't want sex anymore,
I'm sure there are you know, to Klein's point, there's
some health issues or you know, other things. But I
would always I would argue the vast majority of the time,
it's a disconnect that has nothing to do with the physicality.
(26:21):
It's it's an emotional disconnect of some kind. If you're
being honest with yourself for the most party, I mean,
you know, people get sick or they you know, they
have limitations or or you know, repercussions from illness or whatever.
I mean again, there are people listening now going no,
I lost interest in sex for some other reason. They
remove the parts or whatever it is. But like, I
don't think that's every case. I think most cases it's
(26:43):
probably there's a disconnect that could be resolved if you
were willing to really get your hands dirty, and I
think a lot of people aren't. But anyway, you're right, well,
what kind of cheater are you? Leave a comment? Yeah,
I've noticed a lot of that. It's like and and
and and when they do it, when these influencers do it,
(27:05):
it's like so corny, you know, like I see these
travel influence It's it'll be like, yeah, you know we're
about to review Turkish are business class? Leave a comment?
Do you like the aisle seat or the window seat?
And it's like, I'm like running the cotton windows. Tell
you come on, come like give me they ask me
(27:26):
to comment something good, like run.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Of the comments? Right?
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Have you ever been cheated on?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Right, what kind of cheater are you? Run of the
comments right now? And if you would, if you're if
we're telling you to do things, and if you would
go to our YouTube if you made it this far
and search Fred Show Radio and subscribe and all the
good things got videos up there and on the iHeart app,
Well you might be listening to this. You can subscribe
to the Tangent and our main podcast, uh it is
(27:50):
Fred Show on demand
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