Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
A husband.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
A husband has to give his wife that he has
to give her a safe space. If she feels like
her words are not valued, or she feels that her
opinion doesn't matter, she's not going to give it to you,
and you have to let her know in subtle ways.
And when certain things come to your mind, you're like,
that was a good idea. Say that to your wife,
(00:22):
that was a good idea. You should not be championing
trying to humble her. You should be champion trying to
make sure that she feels safe enough to say whatever
she needs to be, whatever needs to be said, because
there might be some things that you don't like what
she says, but when you're by yourself, you realize, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
She was kind of telling the truth there. Yeah, that
was some good wisdom.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
And then as a woman, you got to be careful
with how you say things because you could be saying
something really good, very powerful, but the tone and the
how you're saying it, and when you're saying it cannot
be received and it wasn't and it's not and then
you can't go back and be like, see, you don't
listen to me. No, let's talk about our tone, girlfriend,
because we can really turn because we have so much
(01:07):
power with our words, we can turn a whole situation around.
We could turn it upside down, we could turn it
for the good, we could turn it for the bad.
And I think when we really uh in our heads
realize how powerful we are, we will not be loose
cannons with our words or with the information or the
wisdom that we give. We would be very intentional with
(01:31):
what we give out because we know how powerful our
influence is.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Inspiration thirteen ninety Family Its Relationship Talk Thursday and Sonya,
they come in here strong.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I never had it this way a husband and a wife.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
You know, I've had the love doctor, I've had relationship relationship.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Expert, but together a couple and y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Yeah, yeah, y'all gotta tap into this anointing that's in
this room fastest, Jamon and Eric Glenn the passa damone.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
You said you love this.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Topic, which is influence and action, speak life, set tone, shape, legacy.
We've been lifting up the woman, the wife, femininity. Why
is this topic so important to you?
Speaker 4 (02:14):
She's so powerful, how she can set a tone and
speak life and just make you feel like you can
accomplish anything. I mean it's like early on in our marriage,
my wife when she was learning me with try to
fight my environment, the need for how it needs to be,
why I gotta be this, and why I gotta be
like that, and why the candle gotta be and why
(02:35):
everything gotta be set. And you know I was telling her.
I was like, yo, I've always been consistent. You see
how I live. This is the optimum environment for my productivity.
It's necessary. Once she stopped fighting it and just embraced it.
I mean, she is the tone setter, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
She is.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
She can shape my day when I wake up, before
I leave a house, she can de escalate me when
I come in. She she sets up the way she
sets me up when we get ready for bed.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
The little things she do to it. She turned down service.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
The way she spray you know, bed spray on the
on the bed, something to drink on the side, some water,
you know, just a snack, a meal.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
You know, just the little it's the little elements.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
That she provides such an atmosphere that makes me want
to thrive. If I feel like I'm incapable of accomplishing something.
Her perspective, her words back to me gives me strength,
you know, it's really I think a woman, a woman's
worth is incomparable, and woman underestimates the value of the
(03:46):
strength that she brings us. Well, she gotta watch what
music she listened to, what shows she watched, what she
playing in the house, what gets in her spirit, because
whatever gets in her spirit can impact your spirit. So
I love that influence, that ability. When she's too silent
or too quiet, it irritates me making some decisions right
(04:06):
now in our family, we got a lot of transitions
going on, and she's been very passive and very quiet,
and it's been frustrating for me because I'm like, why
you don't got nothing to say? Why you're not speaking up?
And She's like, I'm processing, I'm not really sure how
i want to chime in. And I feel like I'm
trying to navigate a season without her, not that she's
not present, it is not vocal, and it feels like
(04:28):
I'm lopsided, like I'm trying like because I'm trying to
I'm leading with my mind in the way I do
and I'm trying to get a sense of where she
is in the decisions that we have to make. And
she's quiet, and it feels very awkward. Not that she's
always vocal, but I can always feel her presence in
a moment because she sets a tone, she provides strengs,
(04:51):
she is direction, and when she's quiet, then it makes
me uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Pastor her God influence of a wife speak life. I
feel like.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
A wife is extremely instrumental in this part and the
influence and setting the tone and the environment. And I
think early on in our marriage, I thought, I thought
that it was not that necessary.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I thought that, you know, just.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Falling in line and learning this man, and just being
submitted and not saying anything and and not you know,
having a voice, even though because you had such a
big voice and you had you have such a great
opinion that this could really de escalate this marriage, that
it could really call some real uh RIfS in it all.
(05:49):
And I realized I think it was having a conversation
with my grandmother and my cousin one time, and it
was we were saying to my grandmother. We was like,
but Grandma, you know, we have to kind of pull
away with our family so we can kind of set
things up.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
And she's like, Oh, you don't need to do it.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
It's like, yes, we do, because we're so strong that
if we don't, if we don't figure out or immerse
ourselves in this world that we're trying to create, we're
gonna miss a moment. And in that pulling away, it
showed me that when I don't say something, even though
(06:27):
I'm thinking it, that I'm not being my true self
and I'm not giving my husband the best part of me.
I'm not giving my family the best part of me
so that I could keep the peace.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
I think also when you consider that, think about how
especially because with me, my love, her love, my love language.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Is words of affirmation, so you.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Know it's for you. My presence is enough for me.
Your your words, your affirmation adds so much value and
so much wisdom and so much perspective that you're silent
and sometimes feels, you know, so loud, but it's not
really because you're being loud.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
You're absolutely present.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
It's just that wisdom, that perspective is the missing perspective
because words matter. I think when you understand that, you
know also because words matter. On the flip side, thankfully,
you're not a nagger, You're not you're not the contentious,
you're not the yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know,
because you understand the weight of your words and how
you navigate that. So it's been helpful to help you
(07:32):
understand how I value what you say and your contribution
and your communication while you're still learning. You know that
that is important to me, because it's not as important.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Do you create in your home peace?
Speaker 5 (07:45):
Pressure?
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Is that a question that both parties should be asking
themselves in this place.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I try very hard to, like extremely hard, to make
sure that our home is a place of peace and
not a place of pressure.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And it is. It's a I have to say, it's
it's a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
It's yeah, it's a lot of work, only because there's
other people in the house that you know, that are
not going for the same goal that you are. And
you know, and I had to realize it, embrace that
my husband likes our house to look like a museum.
That I just had to just whatever, a museum. No, everything,
it's a museum. It is a museum, and whatever, Okay, okay,
(08:33):
go ahead, but understanding that I said that only to
say that my husband, you know, he has always kind
of like worked from home, and so because of that,
the sermons, the lessons, the segments, like the music, like
all of those things are necessary for him to that
(08:53):
is his calling and his purpose, and so it's necessary
for me to set an atmosphere where that can flourish,
not die, that that can be something that he feels
proud of to have at home. So I take much
pride in making sure that it's peaceful. I take much
pride when people fall asleep in my house. I take
(09:13):
much pride in that because I worked really hard to
make sure that it is a very peaceful place. It
is a place that people want to run to and
not run from.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Have a place of prayer, place of study, place of preparation,
cermer preparation, study, counseling, reading, thinking you got out of
that stuff I have done as a part of my
house is where I function. I I function am I
so thankfully I'm married a woman who grew up in
(09:43):
a similar environment, in an atmosphere. So she would do
small things that I never ast for, like on Saturdays,
empty the house and take the kids to go see
on a grandparents tour and take them to see the grandparents.
So I would be at home all day by myself
as I prepare for Sunday to be with my thoughts
(10:05):
and my kids, and I feel like they bothering me
if they come to talk to me because they were gone.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
And she created this.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Atmosphere on her own, on her own initiative, because she
felt like that would be conducive to help me be
most productive and forever. That's me as a pastor or
a preacher. But every profession has as particulars. If you
were married to a doctor, you're married to a lawyer,
you're married to somebody's married to you. Every profession has
(10:35):
its particulars, and it's the spouse's responsibility to be sensitive
to those particulars and create an atmosphere that your spouse
wants to come home to, not run from home because
they can get that atmosphere somewhere else but can't have
peace in their home. You want your spouse to come home,
drive past all the other houses to come home to
(10:56):
get to your house. Then you want to create a
space that's gon do to them feeling like a king
or a queen when they arrived.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
That's tough.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Yeah, a master class and with less than two hours
with the glas, But check this out. Yeah, Pastor Erica
has a coaching class. And then you guys have so
many books, the Power Couple ebooks.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
So, yeah, my wife is teaching.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
So we've been on tour for Power Couples people acts
all the time. She's had some great teachers, and she
also is a teacher by calling, so she has had
some great teachers. She is a great teacher, and so
people keep asking for coaching. So she's doing a wives
master class. She's a crown coach. Able says that a
(11:44):
wife is a crown to her husband. So she's teaching
about being a crown. What that looks like four weeks
on a Saturday in the morning. It's online. People can
join from all over the world. Because people have asked
everywhere we go. I would say if she was a wife,
that shouldn't be teaching a class. The first one to say,
she is definitely worthy to teach a class because she
(12:05):
practiced it, not because she's perfect, but she's practicing and
she lives on purpose.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
And I think it's some things that you can.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Gain from her, glean from her if you participate. So
you know, it's not alone class, it's only four weeks.
It's be advantageous if you get the opportunity to jump in,
drop in, listen to her wisdom and glean from that
so wives can have a community and a place where
they can grow together.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
While she's working on the Wives, I'm on a.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Manhood podcast on YouTube, speaking and talking to the men
and nolp them get sharp and get ready because.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
You know, yeah, ya yall, y'all on assignment and you
poured into each other's assignment. I love that, So make
sure you guys check out the podcast every Thursday. Go
to Inspiration thirteen ninety dot com, or you can download
the iHeartRadio app and check it out.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Relationship Doctor
A husband.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
A husband has to give his wife that he has
to give her a safe space. If she feels like
her words are not valued, or she feels that her
opinion doesn't matter, she's not going to give it to you,
and you have to let her know in subtle ways.
And when certain things come to your mind, you're like,
that was a good idea. Say that to your wife,
(00:22):
that was a good idea. You should not be championing
trying to humble her. You should be champion trying to
make sure that she feels safe enough to say whatever
she needs to be, whatever needs to be said, because
there might be some things that you don't like what
she says, but when you're by yourself, you realize, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
She was kind of telling the truth there. Yeah, that
was some good wisdom.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
And then as a woman, you got to be careful
with how you say things because you could be saying
something really good, very powerful, but the tone and the
how you're saying it, and when you're saying it cannot
be received and it wasn't and it's not and then
you can't go back and be like, see, you don't
listen to me. No, let's talk about our tone, girlfriend,
because we can really turn because we have so much
(01:07):
power with our words, we can turn a whole situation around.
We could turn it upside down, we could turn it
for the good, we could turn it for the bad.
And I think when we really uh in our heads
realize how powerful we are, we will not be loose
cannons with our words or with the information or the
wisdom that we give. We would be very intentional with
(01:31):
what we give out because we know how powerful our
influence is.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Inspiration thirteen ninety Family Its Relationship Talk Thursday and Sonya,
they come in here strong.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I never had it this way a husband and a wife.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
You know, I've had the love doctor, I've had relationship relationship.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Expert, but together a couple and y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Yeah, yeah, y'all gotta tap into this anointing that's in
this room fastest, Jamon and Eric Glenn the passa damone.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
You said you love this.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Topic, which is influence and action, speak life, set tone, shape, legacy.
We've been lifting up the woman, the wife, femininity. Why
is this topic so important to you?
Speaker 4 (02:14):
She's so powerful, how she can set a tone and
speak life and just make you feel like you can
accomplish anything. I mean it's like early on in our marriage,
my wife when she was learning me with try to
fight my environment, the need for how it needs to be,
why I gotta be this, and why I gotta be
like that, and why the candle gotta be and why
(02:35):
everything gotta be set. And you know I was telling her.
I was like, yo, I've always been consistent. You see
how I live. This is the optimum environment for my productivity.
It's necessary. Once she stopped fighting it and just embraced it.
I mean, she is the tone setter, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
She is.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
She can shape my day when I wake up, before
I leave a house, she can de escalate me when
I come in. She she sets up the way she
sets me up when we get ready for bed.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
The little things she do to it. She turned down service.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
The way she spray you know, bed spray on the
on the bed, something to drink on the side, some water,
you know, just a snack, a meal.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
You know, just the little it's the little elements.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
That she provides such an atmosphere that makes me want
to thrive. If I feel like I'm incapable of accomplishing something.
Her perspective, her words back to me gives me strength,
you know, it's really I think a woman, a woman's
worth is incomparable, and woman underestimates the value of the
(03:46):
strength that she brings us. Well, she gotta watch what
music she listened to, what shows she watched, what she
playing in the house, what gets in her spirit, because
whatever gets in her spirit can impact your spirit. So
I love that influence, that ability. When she's too silent
or too quiet, it irritates me making some decisions right
(04:06):
now in our family, we got a lot of transitions
going on, and she's been very passive and very quiet,
and it's been frustrating for me because I'm like, why
you don't got nothing to say? Why you're not speaking up?
And She's like, I'm processing, I'm not really sure how
i want to chime in. And I feel like I'm
trying to navigate a season without her, not that she's
not present, it is not vocal, and it feels like
(04:28):
I'm lopsided, like I'm trying like because I'm trying to
I'm leading with my mind in the way I do
and I'm trying to get a sense of where she
is in the decisions that we have to make. And
she's quiet, and it feels very awkward. Not that she's
always vocal, but I can always feel her presence in
a moment because she sets a tone, she provides strengs,
(04:51):
she is direction, and when she's quiet, then it makes
me uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Pastor her God influence of a wife speak life. I
feel like.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
A wife is extremely instrumental in this part and the
influence and setting the tone and the environment. And I
think early on in our marriage, I thought, I thought
that it was not that necessary.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I thought that, you know, just.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Falling in line and learning this man, and just being
submitted and not saying anything and and not you know,
having a voice, even though because you had such a
big voice and you had you have such a great
opinion that this could really de escalate this marriage, that
it could really call some real uh RIfS in it all.
(05:49):
And I realized I think it was having a conversation
with my grandmother and my cousin one time, and it
was we were saying to my grandmother. We was like,
but Grandma, you know, we have to kind of pull
away with our family so we can kind of set
things up.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
And she's like, Oh, you don't need to do it.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
It's like, yes, we do, because we're so strong that
if we don't, if we don't figure out or immerse
ourselves in this world that we're trying to create, we're
gonna miss a moment. And in that pulling away, it
showed me that when I don't say something, even though
(06:27):
I'm thinking it, that I'm not being my true self
and I'm not giving my husband the best part of me.
I'm not giving my family the best part of me
so that I could keep the peace.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
I think also when you consider that, think about how
especially because with me, my love, her love, my love language.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Is words of affirmation, so you.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Know it's for you. My presence is enough for me.
Your your words, your affirmation adds so much value and
so much wisdom and so much perspective that you're silent
and sometimes feels, you know, so loud, but it's not
really because you're being loud.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
You're absolutely present.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
It's just that wisdom, that perspective is the missing perspective
because words matter. I think when you understand that, you
know also because words matter. On the flip side, thankfully,
you're not a nagger, You're not you're not the contentious,
you're not the yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know,
because you understand the weight of your words and how
you navigate that. So it's been helpful to help you
(07:32):
understand how I value what you say and your contribution
and your communication while you're still learning. You know that
that is important to me, because it's not as important.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Do you create in your home peace?
Speaker 5 (07:45):
Pressure?
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Is that a question that both parties should be asking
themselves in this place.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I try very hard to, like extremely hard, to make
sure that our home is a place of peace and
not a place of pressure.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And it is. It's a I have to say, it's
it's a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
It's yeah, it's a lot of work, only because there's
other people in the house that you know, that are
not going for the same goal that you are. And
you know, and I had to realize it, embrace that
my husband likes our house to look like a museum.
That I just had to just whatever, a museum. No, everything,
it's a museum. It is a museum, and whatever, Okay, okay,
(08:33):
go ahead, but understanding that I said that only to
say that my husband, you know, he has always kind
of like worked from home, and so because of that,
the sermons, the lessons, the segments, like the music, like
all of those things are necessary for him to that
(08:53):
is his calling and his purpose, and so it's necessary
for me to set an atmosphere where that can flourish,
not die, that that can be something that he feels
proud of to have at home. So I take much
pride in making sure that it's peaceful. I take much
pride when people fall asleep in my house. I take
(09:13):
much pride in that because I worked really hard to
make sure that it is a very peaceful place. It
is a place that people want to run to and
not run from.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Have a place of prayer, place of study, place of preparation,
cermer preparation, study, counseling, reading, thinking you got out of
that stuff I have done as a part of my
house is where I function. I I function am I
so thankfully I'm married a woman who grew up in
(09:43):
a similar environment, in an atmosphere. So she would do
small things that I never ast for, like on Saturdays,
empty the house and take the kids to go see
on a grandparents tour and take them to see the grandparents.
So I would be at home all day by myself
as I prepare for Sunday to be with my thoughts
(10:05):
and my kids, and I feel like they bothering me
if they come to talk to me because they were gone.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
And she created this.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Atmosphere on her own, on her own initiative, because she
felt like that would be conducive to help me be
most productive and forever. That's me as a pastor or
a preacher. But every profession has as particulars. If you
were married to a doctor, you're married to a lawyer,
you're married to somebody's married to you. Every profession has
(10:35):
its particulars, and it's the spouse's responsibility to be sensitive
to those particulars and create an atmosphere that your spouse
wants to come home to, not run from home because
they can get that atmosphere somewhere else but can't have
peace in their home. You want your spouse to come home,
drive past all the other houses to come home to
(10:56):
get to your house. Then you want to create a
space that's gon do to them feeling like a king
or a queen when they arrived.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
That's tough.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Yeah, a master class and with less than two hours
with the glas, But check this out. Yeah, Pastor Erica
has a coaching class. And then you guys have so
many books, the Power Couple ebooks.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
So, yeah, my wife is teaching.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
So we've been on tour for Power Couples people acts
all the time. She's had some great teachers, and she
also is a teacher by calling, so she has had
some great teachers. She is a great teacher, and so
people keep asking for coaching. So she's doing a wives
master class. She's a crown coach. Able says that a
(11:44):
wife is a crown to her husband. So she's teaching
about being a crown. What that looks like four weeks
on a Saturday in the morning. It's online. People can
join from all over the world. Because people have asked
everywhere we go. I would say if she was a wife,
that shouldn't be teaching a class. The first one to say,
she is definitely worthy to teach a class because she
(12:05):
practiced it, not because she's perfect, but she's practicing and
she lives on purpose.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
And I think it's some things that you can.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Gain from her, glean from her if you participate. So
you know, it's not alone class, it's only four weeks.
It's be advantageous if you get the opportunity to jump in,
drop in, listen to her wisdom and glean from that
so wives can have a community and a place where
they can grow together.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
While she's working on the Wives, I'm on a.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Manhood podcast on YouTube, speaking and talking to the men
and nolp them get sharp and get ready because.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
You know, yeah, ya yall, y'all on assignment and you
poured into each other's assignment. I love that, So make
sure you guys check out the podcast every Thursday. Go
to Inspiration thirteen ninety dot com, or you can download
the iHeartRadio app and check it out.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Relationship Doctor
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