Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Like in your single season. Waiting or dating is a choice.
It's a decision. It's not by default exact. It's not
because you single that means anybody can come holler at you.
Just because you sing, because you're unmarried doesn't necessarily mean
you're available. You have to know when you're in a
dating season and when you're in a waiting season, and
(00:21):
you have to know the difference so that no one
can disrupt or distract you when you're when you're in
the other season, because the enemy know when you when
you make up in your mind, I'm gonna be content,
I'm gonna be all right, and I'm just gonna work
on me.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
And then as soon as you say that, here comes somebody.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
I was about to say it could be a woman too.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Most definitely it usually is a woman. His lips and fingertips.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Here she comes when I'm working on myself, and people
don't know how to decern the difference between the seasons.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Inspiration thirteen ninety Family Way, Taking care of y'all today,
at least the single saints and of the unmarried sates,
I should say, so, let's let's do it that way.
It's so blakey, it is Relationship Talk Thursday. Here with
the Power Couple, Pastors Damone and Erica Glenn. They are
definitely gifted and anointed to talk about relationships, marriages, singleness.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
All of it.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
And I know, Pastor Jamone, you've written books that kind
of can help minister to some of the single sex.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
You know, we just learned that if we do the
work on the side or the unmarried side, we have
a better chance on the marriage side. So we don't
so we don't only speak, you know, we we don't
only speak to the married relationships. We try to get
you in a place of preparation. So we wrote books
like Kingdom Relationships, which is really a two part book.
It talks about what it means to be a Kingdom man,
(01:43):
what it means to be a Kingdom woman, and then
together because you're a separate first, complete whole, and then
you come together. My first book that I wrote was
called g Rated Sex. Though, okay, g Rated Sex is
my number one best seller, is the oldest book that
I wrote. It's because sex is really a guy's a
guy idea. It's a God thing, and it's about putting
sexuality in proper perspective. God created sex, not the enemy,
(02:06):
so we should not let him pervert it and take
what God created. Then we rowe one called soul session.
Soul session is really taking your soul to therapy. A
lot talked in church about the flesh and the spirit,
not enough talked about the soul. But we're tripart type being.
We're spirit, soul, and body. And so usually whatever happens
to you happens to your soul. Whatever gets whatever the
(02:29):
soul attracts what the soul is. And so you manage
your flesh. You saved by the spirit, but you haven't
dealt with your soul. And so your soul is where
your soul ties are. Your soul is where you make decisions.
Your soul is why you keep dating the same person
with a different name, you know what I'm saying, because
you keep attracting on that. And then we roll one
built on Samson and Delight called toxic relationships. How do
(02:53):
you know if you're in a toxic relationship? You know
you're in a toxic relationship. One of the ways we
said is because if you keep telling somebody your truth
and they keep using it against you, that's the types
of relationship.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
That's what Samson did to Delight.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Everybody gives Samson such a bad rap, but the reality
in Samson was a broken man. He just went through
a divorce, he just lost stuff. He went back his
family had dessert, and then he found himself in a
vulnerable space on the lap of delight. And there are
so many lessons you can learn from del We try
to help people learn lessons from Delightah wrote over twenty books.
(03:27):
You know, we try to do it again to make
sure that we get this information out to people. So, yeah,
get some information so you can think differently.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Well, and with all that being said, you mentioned dating,
So I'm quite sure in some of your books you've
talked about, you know, in the singleness should you wait
or dating?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
What are some of the deciding factors on this.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
We haven't and we should. But doctor Milesman wrote My
Mentor and the Teacher. The teacher he taught a book
called Waiting or Dating and he and that's where we
got this context from, because it makes so much sense.
Like in your single season, waiting or dating is a choice.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's a decision. It's not by defeat.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
It's not because you single that means anybody can come
holler at you just because you sing because you're unmarried
doesn't necessarily mean you're available. You have to know when
you're in a dating season and when you're in a
waiting season, and you have to know the difference so
that no one can disrupt or distract you when you're
(04:33):
when you're in the the other season, because the enemy
know when you when you make up in your mind,
I'm gonna be content, I'm gonna be all right, and
I'm just gonna work on me. And then as soon
as you say that, here comes somebody. Most definitely it
usually is a woman, his lips and fingertips. Here she
comes when I'm working on myself. And people don't know
(04:54):
how to descern the difference between the seasons and uh
and even what should be believed about dating and when.
We didn't write a book about that, but we did
definitely put on our YouTube channel ten questions you should
ask when you are dating, because man, we found people
with DA Day about to get married and I didn't
(05:19):
even asked the most pointing questions that needed to be asked.
They have talked about everything, all kinds of money, on food,
and don't know each other. So we we did give
them some questions about dating because I really wasn't a dater.
My wife was a serio dating. So you've said that.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
She's a dat.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
She had dates you, she a date you. Now she
had her date picks. You know, I think I want
a dinner. This person is a good conversation. This person
is I like to hang out with. Question she was dating?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I wasn't dating. I was waiting. I was in my
waiting See. I was waiting, babe, I was waiting and
you was dating. All right, you know it's true. That's
why you quiet.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
It's relationship Thursday.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
I'm so yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
With the Power Couple pastors Damone and Erica Glenn, they
have written books about this this topic today or you know,
around the topic, I should say, single and dating, wait
or date? What should one be doing while they're waiting?
And then what should one be doing while they're dating.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I'll take the waiting one because I was waiting, and
I'll let my wife take the dating one because she
was dating.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Babe. Why don't you go first because you were the
dater of the two of us.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Okay, so when you're dating somebody, first of all, I
think it's necessarily to know that you are dating and
when you're on a date.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
It's not just he said it.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
I did have people that you know, I went. There
was certain dates. You know, if it was a movie,
all right, okay, I am, I'm about like I was,
I know, but there was like different dates. So if
I was going to the movies with you, I really
didn't want to get to know you. I just wanted
(06:58):
to go to movies and I just wanted to by
me because there was no conversation that was happening. If
I wanted to go to dinner, and you know, I
had like a certain cuisine, I knew this person did,
and you know, I didn't mind sitting across from them
getting information, so I went on a day with them.
So different things require different dates. You know, if you
(07:21):
want to go to a wedding, it had to be
somebody that you was with for a little bit longer
because you had to ask answer a whole lot of questions.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
So all of that kind of stuff.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
So with dating, for me, for the most part, it
was getting information. It was understanding who you were and
if I wanted to be with you because of who
you are, and if I didn't, then I'm able to
kind of like just let it go because I didn't
need to build my interest with that anymore. Now, the
(07:50):
thing about dating is you have to be honest. You
cannot be a player or you know, letting people. I
wasn't a player. I told everyone who was honest because
I always told them at the beginning of the day.
Day more than one person so me see me out
relationship like that. So you have to be honest because
(08:12):
if you are really gathering information, then that's what you're doing.
You're trying to make a decision. And I think that
men sometimes get this really really bad. You know, like
girls will be like, well, I thought it was just
me and you, and he's like, no, it's not, because
he's trying to make a decision. But how it makes
it a little weird is if the man does if
he's not giving the truth upright, if he's not being
(08:33):
honest with I am trying to find a wife, or
I'm just going out with women, you know, just going
out with women because I just you know, like a
woman's company. I just think that when people are honest
at the beginning of something, then it makes it not
so muddy, and it allows people to kind of be
who they are and whatever they need to be in
the situation of me making a decision, because if I
(08:55):
want to be in a relationship and be married, I
need to tell you that's what I'm doing versus, Hey,
I just needed somebody to go to dinner with. Like,
I feel like that's just honest. It might be brutal,
but I think it's very exactly. I would rather you
give me the truth than be lying.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
About you're going too long.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Sorry, I told you passion in your dating season, look
at you. I got choices on this side. You had
a day girl waiting in my waiting season. No, seriously,
in my waiting season, I was waiting because I was
I just got saved.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I come out of the world.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
You know, relationships, I had a tendency. I don't brag,
but I had a tendency. Girls would be more into
me than I was into them. So I didn't want
to have the reputation that I was leading anybody on.
I was in a position of leadership, so I was
really protective of my time. Everybody was trying to introduce
themselves to me, or introduce the parent, their daughter, their
grandparents and me. So I just made a decision early on. Now, now,
(09:53):
you know, I just want to focus on building. I'm
going I'm in school, I'm getting my money right, I'm
saving money. I'm trying to, uh you know, get my apartment, pay,
get me a car. I was focused on trying to
become a man, so, uh, dates are expensive.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So I decided. I decided that.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I'm gonna learn how to I'm gonna learn how to
manage my flesh so I can protect my future.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
So that protect my future so exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
So in that space, I just made a decision, and
soon people got the sense that, Okay, he is not
in a dating space.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
He is definitely in a waiting space.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
And then when I start to feel like this is
getting old and I need something else and I wanted
to find a wife, I still wasn't in a serial
dating mood. I was in accordant decision. I was like, Okay,
I'm looking for a wife. I'm not looking for a girlfriend.
I don't want a long term relationship that's not gonna
lead to anything. So my mindset was always about trying
(10:49):
to find a woman I could marry, and very quickly
I could decide if that was the case or not.
Because I had spent a lot of time with myself,
working on myself. And I'm a bit of a loaner
anyway and a leader anyway. So you know, being being
alone wasn't it wasn't negative to me. It was it
was power, it was strength. And so in your waiting season,
(11:12):
you make a decision that you are in a weighting space.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
So even if somebody.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Presents an option, it's not an option for you because
I'm not That's not what I'm doing right now.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
In this relationship Chalk Thursday, it's Sonya Blakey with the
Power Couple pastors Devone and Erica Glenn. We're talking about
a single and dating weight or date. Before we close
out the show, can you answer this question? How do
you know if you've stayed too long in a in
a dating relationship? I guess they said, I mean if
it's a dead end dating relations situation.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
How do you you know? How do you change the situation?
Speaker 4 (11:45):
How do you evaluate or analyze where you are in
this dating situation?
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Should you like leave it alone or like what are
we doing here?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Because my wife was a dater of a letter answer
that I don't have any answers for that. She she's
the one that stayed long and she was in a
relationship for a long time never materialized to what she desired.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
It was seven years I was in a relationship with someone.
I think that was the longest. Yeah, it was the
longest one. And you know what, I don't need other
I don't need all energy. But I think what happened
was I didn't do the things that I'm talking about,
Like I was living my life as a single person
and doing the things that I wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
But marriage was always.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Was one of my goals, and every year passed the
goal that I that of the age that I said
was what I just continued to focus on. And so
I was afraid that if I left this relationship that
I would I had put so much time into it,
so I felt like I would leave it and then
I wouldn't have anything to show for all of the
(12:49):
years that I had been into this relationship. But the
thing that I didn't realize was that even though I
invested years, this person was investing years, but they had
not made a decision of what this relationship was going
to be in the future. And so because of that
double mindedness, we weren't going in the same direction. I
(13:10):
knew what I wanted, but I don't think that he
knew what he wanted or if he was even going
to that point. And then, you know, in retrospect, my
husband and I have had this honest conversation and he
was like, Babe, I think you held him to something
that you should not have held him to, and you
shouldn't feel so bad about yourself because the relationship that
(13:30):
I had with him. I believe that our relationship caused
us to be better people because we were together. But
instead of looking at it for what it was and
what I wanted it to be in my fairytale world,
I can't blame him for, you know, taking years from me,
like I think that's what some women want to do.
You took all these years from me. No, sis, we
(13:52):
gave them. We gave them intentionally knowing, hoping that we
were going to manipulate the situation to get the.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Ring that we wanted.
Speaker 5 (13:59):
And really, in year one, you knew that this wasn't
going to it wasn't going to manifest into what you
wanted it to be.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
But I think.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Exactly you thought you could.
Speaker 5 (14:09):
I thought that I could change it all the time, right,
And he was letting me know what he wanted. And
I think you know because that first year, yeah, that
first year, he asked me to marry him, but I
wasn't ready. I was like, no, I'm still I'm getting
read to go to college.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Like what are you doing? You're not about to lock
me down and I'm about to.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Go to school.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
But as an older woman realizing what it took for
a man to ask you to marry him, I crushed him.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I crushed his I crushed his confidence. I crushed everything
that he wanted to do. I crushed all of that
kind of stuff, you know. So it was.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
Very difficult for him to circle back around and give
me the thing that I wanted when I wanted it
and not when we needed it together. So you know
that when you know it's a dead end, I think
you know, you know within your will, you know, within
your heart and your soul that this really isn't going anywhere.
(15:00):
And I think if you would not blame somebody and
just simply say, you know what, you're good for somebody,
but you're just not good for me, and that's okay,
And to be okay with that and to say that
to the person, I think will help you to know
that the relationship is dead in and you need to bounce,
and you gotta have confidence that if you bounce, it's
(15:22):
what you should do and not because you want it
to be something that is not.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I don't want to start nothing while we were about to go,
but I just gotta say that, okay, talking to being
a guy and talking to guys, ladies, Guys know they know, right,
they know so fast, they know so soon if it
is or if it isn't. And if they're sticking around
(15:46):
sometimes it's because they're trying to convince themselves or see
something else because they already know.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
They know, they know.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
It's not love at first sight, but you know if
this is something that you want to spend the rest
of your life or not. And if they just continually
wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and
wait and wait and wait, and there's some uncertainty there,
there's some surety there. They're trying to convince themselves or
you're trying to convince them.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
They already know.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
They already know.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Wow, he wasted them.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Because my husband, my husband said he knew.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
I know.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I knew. I knew so fast that when I call
to tell him my new Dre's like, bro, what you
mean you just got out here?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
You just got free Wait a second, breathe look around,
go shopping, check it out.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I was like, no, I already know. It's just a
matter of time.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I went and told her grandfather, Hey, I know you
see me spend a lot of time with your granddaughter.
But the truth is I have every intent to marry
her unless she does something stupid. And he said, she
won't do nothing stupid.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
It's been a great session with the fower couple of
the Glens. You can pick up some of their books,
and how could they do that faster, Jamon, because you've
got many books that folks can read.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Now, go to jermoon Glen dot com. You can get
out there.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Uh, and that's where it's good for you at Just
go there jermal Glenn dot com. Follow us on social
and yeah, hopefully we say something that helps you have
a perspective. But remember this, the choice is yours. Are
you waiting or are you dating? Just because you're un
married doesn't mean that you have to be what the
(17:20):
other person wants from you.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
You can decide.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Now, that's wisdom, all right.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Make sure you check out the podcast, the iHeartRadio app
relationship Dog Thursday, or on the website Inspiration thirteen ninety
dot com
Like in your single season. Waiting or dating is a choice.
It's a decision. It's not by default exact. It's not
because you single that means anybody can come holler at you.
Just because you sing, because you're unmarried doesn't necessarily mean
you're available. You have to know when you're in a
dating season and when you're in a waiting season, and
(00:21):
you have to know the difference so that no one
can disrupt or distract you when you're when you're in
the other season, because the enemy know when you when
you make up in your mind, I'm gonna be content,
I'm gonna be all right, and I'm just gonna work
on me.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
And then as soon as you say that, here comes somebody.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
I was about to say it could be a woman too.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Most definitely it usually is a woman. His lips and fingertips.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Here she comes when I'm working on myself, and people
don't know how to decern the difference between the seasons.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Inspiration thirteen ninety Family Way, Taking care of y'all today,
at least the single saints and of the unmarried sates,
I should say, so, let's let's do it that way.
It's so blakey, it is Relationship Talk Thursday. Here with
the Power Couple, Pastors Damone and Erica Glenn. They are
definitely gifted and anointed to talk about relationships, marriages, singleness.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
All of it.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
And I know, Pastor Jamone, you've written books that kind
of can help minister to some of the single sex.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
You know, we just learned that if we do the
work on the side or the unmarried side, we have
a better chance on the marriage side. So we don't
so we don't only speak, you know, we we don't
only speak to the married relationships. We try to get
you in a place of preparation. So we wrote books
like Kingdom Relationships, which is really a two part book.
It talks about what it means to be a Kingdom man,
(01:43):
what it means to be a Kingdom woman, and then
together because you're a separate first, complete whole, and then
you come together. My first book that I wrote was
called g Rated Sex. Though, okay, g Rated Sex is
my number one best seller, is the oldest book that
I wrote. It's because sex is really a guy's a
guy idea. It's a God thing, and it's about putting
sexuality in proper perspective. God created sex, not the enemy,
(02:06):
so we should not let him pervert it and take
what God created. Then we rowe one called soul session.
Soul session is really taking your soul to therapy. A
lot talked in church about the flesh and the spirit,
not enough talked about the soul. But we're tripart type being.
We're spirit, soul, and body. And so usually whatever happens
to you happens to your soul. Whatever gets whatever the
(02:29):
soul attracts what the soul is. And so you manage
your flesh. You saved by the spirit, but you haven't
dealt with your soul. And so your soul is where
your soul ties are. Your soul is where you make decisions.
Your soul is why you keep dating the same person
with a different name, you know what I'm saying, because
you keep attracting on that. And then we roll one
built on Samson and Delight called toxic relationships. How do
(02:53):
you know if you're in a toxic relationship? You know
you're in a toxic relationship. One of the ways we
said is because if you keep telling somebody your truth
and they keep using it against you, that's the types
of relationship.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
That's what Samson did to Delight.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Everybody gives Samson such a bad rap, but the reality
in Samson was a broken man. He just went through
a divorce, he just lost stuff. He went back his
family had dessert, and then he found himself in a
vulnerable space on the lap of delight. And there are
so many lessons you can learn from del We try
to help people learn lessons from Delightah wrote over twenty books.
(03:27):
You know, we try to do it again to make
sure that we get this information out to people. So, yeah,
get some information so you can think differently.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Well, and with all that being said, you mentioned dating,
So I'm quite sure in some of your books you've
talked about, you know, in the singleness should you wait
or dating?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
What are some of the deciding factors on this.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
We haven't and we should. But doctor Milesman wrote My
Mentor and the Teacher. The teacher he taught a book
called Waiting or Dating and he and that's where we
got this context from, because it makes so much sense.
Like in your single season, waiting or dating is a choice.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's a decision. It's not by defeat.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
It's not because you single that means anybody can come
holler at you just because you sing because you're unmarried
doesn't necessarily mean you're available. You have to know when
you're in a dating season and when you're in a
waiting season, and you have to know the difference so
that no one can disrupt or distract you when you're
(04:33):
when you're in the the other season, because the enemy
know when you when you make up in your mind,
I'm gonna be content, I'm gonna be all right, and
I'm just gonna work on me. And then as soon
as you say that, here comes somebody. Most definitely it
usually is a woman, his lips and fingertips. Here she
comes when I'm working on myself. And people don't know
(04:54):
how to descern the difference between the seasons and uh
and even what should be believed about dating and when.
We didn't write a book about that, but we did
definitely put on our YouTube channel ten questions you should
ask when you are dating, because man, we found people
with DA Day about to get married and I didn't
(05:19):
even asked the most pointing questions that needed to be asked.
They have talked about everything, all kinds of money, on food,
and don't know each other. So we we did give
them some questions about dating because I really wasn't a dater.
My wife was a serio dating. So you've said that.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
She's a dat.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
She had dates you, she a date you. Now she
had her date picks. You know, I think I want
a dinner. This person is a good conversation. This person
is I like to hang out with. Question she was dating?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I wasn't dating. I was waiting. I was in my
waiting See. I was waiting, babe, I was waiting and
you was dating. All right, you know it's true. That's
why you quiet.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
It's relationship Thursday.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
I'm so yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
With the Power Couple pastors Damone and Erica Glenn, they
have written books about this this topic today or you know,
around the topic, I should say, single and dating, wait
or date? What should one be doing while they're waiting?
And then what should one be doing while they're dating.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I'll take the waiting one because I was waiting, and
I'll let my wife take the dating one because she
was dating.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Babe. Why don't you go first because you were the
dater of the two of us.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Okay, so when you're dating somebody, first of all, I
think it's necessarily to know that you are dating and
when you're on a date.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
It's not just he said it.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
I did have people that you know, I went. There
was certain dates. You know, if it was a movie,
all right, okay, I am, I'm about like I was,
I know, but there was like different dates. So if
I was going to the movies with you, I really
didn't want to get to know you. I just wanted
(06:58):
to go to movies and I just wanted to by
me because there was no conversation that was happening. If
I wanted to go to dinner, and you know, I
had like a certain cuisine, I knew this person did,
and you know, I didn't mind sitting across from them
getting information, so I went on a day with them.
So different things require different dates. You know, if you
(07:21):
want to go to a wedding, it had to be
somebody that you was with for a little bit longer
because you had to ask answer a whole lot of questions.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
So all of that kind of stuff.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
So with dating, for me, for the most part, it
was getting information. It was understanding who you were and
if I wanted to be with you because of who
you are, and if I didn't, then I'm able to
kind of like just let it go because I didn't
need to build my interest with that anymore. Now, the
(07:50):
thing about dating is you have to be honest. You
cannot be a player or you know, letting people. I
wasn't a player. I told everyone who was honest because
I always told them at the beginning of the day.
Day more than one person so me see me out
relationship like that. So you have to be honest because
(08:12):
if you are really gathering information, then that's what you're doing.
You're trying to make a decision. And I think that
men sometimes get this really really bad. You know, like
girls will be like, well, I thought it was just
me and you, and he's like, no, it's not, because
he's trying to make a decision. But how it makes
it a little weird is if the man does if
he's not giving the truth upright, if he's not being
(08:33):
honest with I am trying to find a wife, or
I'm just going out with women, you know, just going
out with women because I just you know, like a
woman's company. I just think that when people are honest
at the beginning of something, then it makes it not
so muddy, and it allows people to kind of be
who they are and whatever they need to be in
the situation of me making a decision, because if I
(08:55):
want to be in a relationship and be married, I
need to tell you that's what I'm doing versus, Hey,
I just needed somebody to go to dinner with. Like,
I feel like that's just honest. It might be brutal,
but I think it's very exactly. I would rather you
give me the truth than be lying.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
About you're going too long.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Sorry, I told you passion in your dating season, look
at you. I got choices on this side. You had
a day girl waiting in my waiting season. No, seriously,
in my waiting season, I was waiting because I was
I just got saved.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I come out of the world.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
You know, relationships, I had a tendency. I don't brag,
but I had a tendency. Girls would be more into
me than I was into them. So I didn't want
to have the reputation that I was leading anybody on.
I was in a position of leadership, so I was
really protective of my time. Everybody was trying to introduce
themselves to me, or introduce the parent, their daughter, their
grandparents and me. So I just made a decision early on. Now, now,
(09:53):
you know, I just want to focus on building. I'm
going I'm in school, I'm getting my money right, I'm
saving money. I'm trying to, uh you know, get my apartment, pay,
get me a car. I was focused on trying to
become a man, so, uh, dates are expensive.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So I decided. I decided that.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I'm gonna learn how to I'm gonna learn how to
manage my flesh so I can protect my future.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
So that protect my future so exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
So in that space, I just made a decision, and
soon people got the sense that, Okay, he is not
in a dating space.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
He is definitely in a waiting space.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
And then when I start to feel like this is
getting old and I need something else and I wanted
to find a wife, I still wasn't in a serial
dating mood. I was in accordant decision. I was like, Okay,
I'm looking for a wife. I'm not looking for a girlfriend.
I don't want a long term relationship that's not gonna
lead to anything. So my mindset was always about trying
(10:49):
to find a woman I could marry, and very quickly
I could decide if that was the case or not.
Because I had spent a lot of time with myself,
working on myself. And I'm a bit of a loaner
anyway and a leader anyway. So you know, being being
alone wasn't it wasn't negative to me. It was it
was power, it was strength. And so in your waiting season,
(11:12):
you make a decision that you are in a weighting space.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
So even if somebody.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Presents an option, it's not an option for you because
I'm not That's not what I'm doing right now.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
In this relationship Chalk Thursday, it's Sonya Blakey with the
Power Couple pastors Devone and Erica Glenn. We're talking about
a single and dating weight or date. Before we close
out the show, can you answer this question? How do
you know if you've stayed too long in a in
a dating relationship? I guess they said, I mean if
it's a dead end dating relations situation.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
How do you you know? How do you change the situation?
Speaker 4 (11:45):
How do you evaluate or analyze where you are in
this dating situation?
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Should you like leave it alone or like what are
we doing here?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Because my wife was a dater of a letter answer
that I don't have any answers for that. She she's
the one that stayed long and she was in a
relationship for a long time never materialized to what she desired.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
It was seven years I was in a relationship with someone.
I think that was the longest. Yeah, it was the
longest one. And you know what, I don't need other
I don't need all energy. But I think what happened
was I didn't do the things that I'm talking about,
Like I was living my life as a single person
and doing the things that I wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
But marriage was always.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Was one of my goals, and every year passed the
goal that I that of the age that I said
was what I just continued to focus on. And so
I was afraid that if I left this relationship that
I would I had put so much time into it,
so I felt like I would leave it and then
I wouldn't have anything to show for all of the
(12:49):
years that I had been into this relationship. But the
thing that I didn't realize was that even though I
invested years, this person was investing years, but they had
not made a decision of what this relationship was going
to be in the future. And so because of that
double mindedness, we weren't going in the same direction. I
(13:10):
knew what I wanted, but I don't think that he
knew what he wanted or if he was even going
to that point. And then, you know, in retrospect, my
husband and I have had this honest conversation and he
was like, Babe, I think you held him to something
that you should not have held him to, and you
shouldn't feel so bad about yourself because the relationship that
(13:30):
I had with him. I believe that our relationship caused
us to be better people because we were together. But
instead of looking at it for what it was and
what I wanted it to be in my fairytale world,
I can't blame him for, you know, taking years from me,
like I think that's what some women want to do.
You took all these years from me. No, sis, we
(13:52):
gave them. We gave them intentionally knowing, hoping that we
were going to manipulate the situation to get the.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Ring that we wanted.
Speaker 5 (13:59):
And really, in year one, you knew that this wasn't
going to it wasn't going to manifest into what you
wanted it to be.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
But I think.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Exactly you thought you could.
Speaker 5 (14:09):
I thought that I could change it all the time, right,
And he was letting me know what he wanted. And
I think you know because that first year, yeah, that
first year, he asked me to marry him, but I
wasn't ready. I was like, no, I'm still I'm getting
read to go to college.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Like what are you doing? You're not about to lock
me down and I'm about to.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Go to school.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
But as an older woman realizing what it took for
a man to ask you to marry him, I crushed him.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I crushed his I crushed his confidence. I crushed everything
that he wanted to do. I crushed all of that
kind of stuff, you know. So it was.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
Very difficult for him to circle back around and give
me the thing that I wanted when I wanted it
and not when we needed it together. So you know
that when you know it's a dead end, I think
you know, you know within your will, you know, within
your heart and your soul that this really isn't going anywhere.
(15:00):
And I think if you would not blame somebody and
just simply say, you know what, you're good for somebody,
but you're just not good for me, and that's okay,
And to be okay with that and to say that
to the person, I think will help you to know
that the relationship is dead in and you need to bounce,
and you gotta have confidence that if you bounce, it's
(15:22):
what you should do and not because you want it
to be something that is not.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I don't want to start nothing while we were about to go,
but I just gotta say that, okay, talking to being
a guy and talking to guys, ladies, Guys know they know, right,
they know so fast, they know so soon if it
is or if it isn't. And if they're sticking around
(15:46):
sometimes it's because they're trying to convince themselves or see
something else because they already know.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
They know, they know.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
It's not love at first sight, but you know if
this is something that you want to spend the rest
of your life or not. And if they just continually
wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and
wait and wait and wait, and there's some uncertainty there,
there's some surety there. They're trying to convince themselves or
you're trying to convince them.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
They already know.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
They already know.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Wow, he wasted them.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Because my husband, my husband said he knew.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
I know.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I knew. I knew so fast that when I call
to tell him my new Dre's like, bro, what you
mean you just got out here?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
You just got free Wait a second, breathe look around,
go shopping, check it out.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I was like, no, I already know. It's just a
matter of time.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I went and told her grandfather, Hey, I know you
see me spend a lot of time with your granddaughter.
But the truth is I have every intent to marry
her unless she does something stupid. And he said, she
won't do nothing stupid.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
It's been a great session with the fower couple of
the Glens. You can pick up some of their books,
and how could they do that faster, Jamon, because you've
got many books that folks can read.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Now, go to jermoon Glen dot com. You can get
out there.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Uh, and that's where it's good for you at Just
go there jermal Glenn dot com. Follow us on social
and yeah, hopefully we say something that helps you have
a perspective. But remember this, the choice is yours. Are
you waiting or are you dating? Just because you're un
married doesn't mean that you have to be what the
(17:20):
other person wants from you.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
You can decide.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Now, that's wisdom, all right.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Make sure you check out the podcast, the iHeartRadio app
relationship Dog Thursday, or on the website Inspiration thirteen ninety
dot com
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