December 18, 2025 • 9 mins
Joe has a mail room at his apartment complex and he might have messed up a little bit when he did this...
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's the show show. Just mess around, buddy.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Eight hundred four oh nine ninety three ninety three. Anyone
ever accidentally steals something, if you ever walked away with
something and went up crap, I can't believe I took that.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Yesterday.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It happened, and I still haven't returned it yet, and
I'm afraid I don't want to be that guy to
get an email. My apartment complex will send an email
to everyone if something happens, and whenever I read it,
I always laugh and I'm like stink to be that person,
not me though I didn't make the mistake, although now
I'm the guy that made the mistake. I make a
lot of them. Eight hundred four oh nine ninety three
(00:40):
ninety three. If you've accidentally stolen something, I have these
mail keys, so when you open up your mailbox, they'll
give you another key if you have a bigger package,
and then you use that key to open up the
bigger mailbox and the key normally locks in, so you
can't like take that key, like it stays there so
(01:02):
that then the USPS you know, carrier can then redo
the drill whatever. So yesterday, get a package and shout
out to a Joe Show family member by the name
of Keith.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I love Keith. Uh he he got all of it.
Did you guys get the chocolates and very tasty chocolates?
Uh uh?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
And I bring the chocolates upstairs, and I had a
couple of other things in my hand because I went
to Publics before, and I'm like, unloading everything, move on
with my day. And then my fiance ask me. She's like,
why did you bring this up? And I looked. I
stole the key on accident, and I haven't returned it
(01:49):
yet because I was tired last night. One time, when
I was a kid, I accident stole sunglasses. Let me
tell you why. I was trying them on, and then
I thought I saw it would be cool if I
was the guy that wore sunglasses on top of my head.
(02:11):
And I walked out, and then we were in the car.
My mom flipped out that I purposely did it.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
I didn't, at least that's what my memory is. Maybe
I did. I don't know what did you accidentally steal?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
So I didn't accident, so I almost stole it. I
was at Public's on Tuesday recently.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Yes, so.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
That Publix has a place where they make smoothies. So
I normally just go get a smoothie, but this time
I was like, you know, let me grab some fruit
because I want to have something for Thursday Friday. So
I end up going normally like I said, I go
get a smoothie and I walk out, so.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Instead I placed my order for my smoothie.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
I'm walking out grabbing the groceries and like, oh, I'll
pay for everything after I get my smoothie. Tell me
why I have the basket on my shoulder with bananas,
strawberries and apples, and I grabbed my smoothie and I
walk out.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
The side door.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Mind I'm like, why is this white lady sitting here
looking at me?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Crazy?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
She was eyeing me down like I was doing something wrong.
I literally walk out to the like the street, and
I look and I'm like, what is my arm? I
don't carry a purse, and I'm like, oh my god,
I just stole from public. So I run back inside
and I already feel weird because I didn't I didn't care.
I've walked out. I didn't feel anything. I didn't know
I was stealing, but walking in with the stolen products
and that lady's still looking at me like I was crazy.
(03:21):
I felt so embarrassed. But Loki, I'm like, I could
have just walked to the car. But I love public
so I'm not gonna steal from publics.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I love publics as well I do. They got one
thing wrong with them.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
What too friendly? Because they are very friendly.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
The carts need to be inside of the store, not
outside of the store. Certain publics have the cars I won.
We've talked about it on the show before. As a man,
you can't. You can't do a push cart.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
No. No, if you're a man and you're pushing a car.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Public the hand carts the one that you carry, and honestly,
it looks like a basket a Wizard of Os for
whatever reason. That's why, Yeah, I hold it. But they
put those on the outside. I don't know that I
(04:19):
need that until I'm in their shopping. But then I
can't walk out and then go grab it. So what
am I supposed to do?
Speaker 3 (04:25):
I tell him like, hey, I'm out to run and
grab this. I'm not stealing. I promise you exactly. John
will stick with publics. You walked out without pain on accident.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Yeah, so I was in the store a couple of
days ago when I was doing my shopping and you know,
I had the shelf checkouts there and uh, I was
on the phone with my wife, just kind of a
kind of a side tracked, and I went walked out
with my groceries, and a halfway through the parking, like,
I comes out and says.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Hey, come back here. I'm like, oh shoot. So I
was like, oh man, it's all so bad. So I
walked back and he was kind of like covering over me,
make sure I'm pay. I'm gonna pay, obviously, but I
was like, oh my god, I can't. I walked out
with like almost fifty dollars with the groceries.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Well, and I feel like those people too, like the
rent to cops, they kind of like they'd live for that.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
That one he said he come back here. I'm like, oh,
oh man. I was like, oh dude, come on along.
Speaker 6 (05:19):
Day.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
Well, I was up UNTI was like six o'clock in
the morning a day.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It was a long day.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
I wasn't only paying attention. But that was the first
time my whole entire life that ever did.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Something like that.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
But no siren, no alarm went off.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I mean, it's like y'all could have stopped me. Yeah,
I'd rather there not be a siren. I don't wanted security.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
He was. He was a public cereal of the day.
They were like, hey, come back here. I'm like, oh,
God's public superman, right.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
You already know he walked around and told everyone, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
John, you're the best. Thank you for calling in love
you man. Hey, Lauren, you stole from Bob Ross.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
No, no, I stole for I'm a super grocery store
up north called Jungle Gems, And yeah, how do you
know that?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Nobody knows Jungle Gyms. What did you see?
Speaker 6 (06:11):
Yes, So at the beginning of our trip, my my
dad put a little Bob Ross stuffy in my son's
stroller and my son was kind of holding him and
it ended up like in the bottom of the basket
of the stroller. And after two hours of walking around
Jungle Gems, which it could take ten hours getting through there,
(06:32):
but after two hours, we checked out and left and
the stroller got folded with the stuffy in it, and
we get home and we see Bob Ross laying in
the bottom of the stroller and we're like, oh my god,
we stole Bob Ross.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
This he's trying to so messed up that that's what
I thought about.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
You blame it on the baby's not you moms.
Speaker 6 (06:58):
Yeah, we still have it after two years or like whatever.
But they was so far away from my dad's house
where we're not driving it back.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
And it's called Jungle Gyms.
Speaker 6 (07:09):
Jungle Gym, do you have to look it up? It's
and the bathrooms looked like porta potties on the outside,
but it's like a massive bathroom on the inside.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's pretty awesome. Yeah, that's cool. I like it, Lauren,
Thank you so much for calling in love you Marie.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Marie, go ahead. You accidentally stole.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
What well, actually I didn't steal it. When my daughter
was twelve years old, she got caught stealing a lip
bomb from a CBS and when I found out about it,
I made her go over there every day after school
for a week and sleep the parking lot while her
friends were driving around. Her wife got her bomb.
Speaker 8 (07:41):
Yeah, so listen, so listen, listen. That's not the end
of the story.
Speaker 7 (07:45):
Fast forward. She was twenty one, she went into the
police department, got a job. She became a police officer
in Connecticut, and she was shopping in Macy's, tried on
a pocketbook to see how it walked.
Speaker 8 (07:56):
On her shoulder, look in the mirror, walked out of
the store with the pocketbook.
Speaker 7 (08:01):
On her shoulder. Nearly had a heart at talk.
Speaker 6 (08:04):
Here she is a police officer in uniform walking on
her baby.
Speaker 7 (08:11):
And she said, and she says to me, Mom, you
created such a paranoia when I had to go sweep
that parking I was.
Speaker 8 (08:20):
Twelve years old.
Speaker 7 (08:21):
But she never stole another thing in the rest of
her life when she's forty six.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Now, So there you go, Marie.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Every mother and father loves you now for giving him
a great idea.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Every kid is not happy with you.
Speaker 8 (08:35):
Sorry, but you know what. I went and talked to
the store manager, and I said, what are you gonna
do when you steal? There's a price to pay. You're
gonna go sleep that parking lot a half an hour
and I sat in my car and watched her while
she did it in the back, not in the front
when it was traffic. The manager was all okay with it,
and she learned her lesson.
Speaker 7 (08:52):
Believe me. I came up.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, hur, we'd have a big issue if she was like,
you know what, not that bad.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I'm gonna continue to see I'm not stilling no more.
Marine's kidding.
Speaker 8 (09:02):
Oh yeah, oh, she never stole another thing anyways. But hey,
have a merry Christmas you guys.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Hey Mari, real quick, what should Joe do with the
key that he stole?
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Then?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
What's his punishment?
Speaker 8 (09:13):
I think you should swallow it and wait for it
to come out the on the red
It's the show show. Just mess around, buddy.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Eight hundred four oh nine ninety three ninety three. Anyone
ever accidentally steals something, if you ever walked away with
something and went up crap, I can't believe I took that.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Yesterday.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It happened, and I still haven't returned it yet, and
I'm afraid I don't want to be that guy to
get an email. My apartment complex will send an email
to everyone if something happens, and whenever I read it,
I always laugh and I'm like stink to be that person,
not me though I didn't make the mistake, although now
I'm the guy that made the mistake. I make a
lot of them. Eight hundred four oh nine ninety three
(00:40):
ninety three. If you've accidentally stolen something, I have these
mail keys, so when you open up your mailbox, they'll
give you another key if you have a bigger package,
and then you use that key to open up the
bigger mailbox and the key normally locks in, so you
can't like take that key, like it stays there so
(01:02):
that then the USPS you know, carrier can then redo
the drill whatever. So yesterday, get a package and shout
out to a Joe Show family member by the name
of Keith.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I love Keith. Uh he he got all of it.
Did you guys get the chocolates and very tasty chocolates?
Uh uh?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
And I bring the chocolates upstairs, and I had a
couple of other things in my hand because I went
to Publics before, and I'm like, unloading everything, move on
with my day. And then my fiance ask me. She's like,
why did you bring this up? And I looked. I
stole the key on accident, and I haven't returned it
(01:49):
yet because I was tired last night. One time, when
I was a kid, I accident stole sunglasses. Let me
tell you why. I was trying them on, and then
I thought I saw it would be cool if I
was the guy that wore sunglasses on top of my head.
(02:11):
And I walked out, and then we were in the car.
My mom flipped out that I purposely did it.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
I didn't, at least that's what my memory is. Maybe
I did. I don't know what did you accidentally steal?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
So I didn't accident, so I almost stole it. I
was at Public's on Tuesday recently.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Yes, so.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
That Publix has a place where they make smoothies. So
I normally just go get a smoothie, but this time
I was like, you know, let me grab some fruit
because I want to have something for Thursday Friday. So
I end up going normally like I said, I go
get a smoothie and I walk out, so.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Instead I placed my order for my smoothie.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
I'm walking out grabbing the groceries and like, oh, I'll
pay for everything after I get my smoothie. Tell me
why I have the basket on my shoulder with bananas,
strawberries and apples, and I grabbed my smoothie and I
walk out.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
The side door.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Mind I'm like, why is this white lady sitting here
looking at me?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Crazy?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
She was eyeing me down like I was doing something wrong.
I literally walk out to the like the street, and
I look and I'm like, what is my arm? I
don't carry a purse, and I'm like, oh my god,
I just stole from public. So I run back inside
and I already feel weird because I didn't I didn't care.
I've walked out. I didn't feel anything. I didn't know
I was stealing, but walking in with the stolen products
and that lady's still looking at me like I was crazy.
(03:21):
I felt so embarrassed. But Loki, I'm like, I could
have just walked to the car. But I love public
so I'm not gonna steal from publics.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I love publics as well I do. They got one
thing wrong with them.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
What too friendly? Because they are very friendly.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
The carts need to be inside of the store, not
outside of the store. Certain publics have the cars I won.
We've talked about it on the show before. As a man,
you can't. You can't do a push cart.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
No. No, if you're a man and you're pushing a car.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Public the hand carts the one that you carry, and honestly,
it looks like a basket a Wizard of Os for
whatever reason. That's why, Yeah, I hold it. But they
put those on the outside. I don't know that I
(04:19):
need that until I'm in their shopping. But then I
can't walk out and then go grab it. So what
am I supposed to do?
Speaker 3 (04:25):
I tell him like, hey, I'm out to run and
grab this. I'm not stealing. I promise you exactly. John
will stick with publics. You walked out without pain on accident.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Yeah, so I was in the store a couple of
days ago when I was doing my shopping and you know,
I had the shelf checkouts there and uh, I was
on the phone with my wife, just kind of a
kind of a side tracked, and I went walked out
with my groceries, and a halfway through the parking, like,
I comes out and says.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Hey, come back here. I'm like, oh shoot. So I
was like, oh man, it's all so bad. So I
walked back and he was kind of like covering over me,
make sure I'm pay. I'm gonna pay, obviously, but I
was like, oh my god, I can't. I walked out
with like almost fifty dollars with the groceries.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Well, and I feel like those people too, like the
rent to cops, they kind of like they'd live for that.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
That one he said he come back here. I'm like, oh,
oh man. I was like, oh dude, come on along.
Speaker 6 (05:19):
Day.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
Well, I was up UNTI was like six o'clock in
the morning a day.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It was a long day.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
I wasn't only paying attention. But that was the first
time my whole entire life that ever did.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Something like that.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
But no siren, no alarm went off.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I mean, it's like y'all could have stopped me. Yeah,
I'd rather there not be a siren. I don't wanted security.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
He was. He was a public cereal of the day.
They were like, hey, come back here. I'm like, oh,
God's public superman, right.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
You already know he walked around and told everyone, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
John, you're the best. Thank you for calling in love
you man. Hey, Lauren, you stole from Bob Ross.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
No, no, I stole for I'm a super grocery store
up north called Jungle Gems, And yeah, how do you
know that?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Nobody knows Jungle Gyms. What did you see?
Speaker 6 (06:11):
Yes, So at the beginning of our trip, my my
dad put a little Bob Ross stuffy in my son's
stroller and my son was kind of holding him and
it ended up like in the bottom of the basket
of the stroller. And after two hours of walking around
Jungle Gems, which it could take ten hours getting through there,
(06:32):
but after two hours, we checked out and left and
the stroller got folded with the stuffy in it, and
we get home and we see Bob Ross laying in
the bottom of the stroller and we're like, oh my god,
we stole Bob Ross.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
This he's trying to so messed up that that's what
I thought about.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
You blame it on the baby's not you moms.
Speaker 6 (06:58):
Yeah, we still have it after two years or like whatever.
But they was so far away from my dad's house
where we're not driving it back.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
And it's called Jungle Gyms.
Speaker 6 (07:09):
Jungle Gym, do you have to look it up? It's
and the bathrooms looked like porta potties on the outside,
but it's like a massive bathroom on the inside.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's pretty awesome. Yeah, that's cool. I like it, Lauren,
Thank you so much for calling in love you Marie.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Marie, go ahead. You accidentally stole.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
What well, actually I didn't steal it. When my daughter
was twelve years old, she got caught stealing a lip
bomb from a CBS and when I found out about it,
I made her go over there every day after school
for a week and sleep the parking lot while her
friends were driving around. Her wife got her bomb.
Speaker 8 (07:41):
Yeah, so listen, so listen, listen. That's not the end
of the story.
Speaker 7 (07:45):
Fast forward. She was twenty one, she went into the
police department, got a job. She became a police officer
in Connecticut, and she was shopping in Macy's, tried on
a pocketbook to see how it walked.
Speaker 8 (07:56):
On her shoulder, look in the mirror, walked out of
the store with the pocketbook.
Speaker 7 (08:01):
On her shoulder. Nearly had a heart at talk.
Speaker 6 (08:04):
Here she is a police officer in uniform walking on
her baby.
Speaker 7 (08:11):
And she said, and she says to me, Mom, you
created such a paranoia when I had to go sweep
that parking I was.
Speaker 8 (08:20):
Twelve years old.
Speaker 7 (08:21):
But she never stole another thing in the rest of
her life when she's forty six.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Now, So there you go, Marie.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Every mother and father loves you now for giving him
a great idea.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Every kid is not happy with you.
Speaker 8 (08:35):
Sorry, but you know what. I went and talked to
the store manager, and I said, what are you gonna
do when you steal? There's a price to pay. You're
gonna go sleep that parking lot a half an hour
and I sat in my car and watched her while
she did it in the back, not in the front
when it was traffic. The manager was all okay with it,
and she learned her lesson.
Speaker 7 (08:52):
Believe me. I came up.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, hur, we'd have a big issue if she was like,
you know what, not that bad.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I'm gonna continue to see I'm not stilling no more.
Marine's kidding.
Speaker 8 (09:02):
Oh yeah, oh, she never stole another thing anyways. But hey,
have a merry Christmas you guys.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Hey Mari, real quick, what should Joe do with the
key that he stole?
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Then?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
What's his punishment?
Speaker 8 (09:13):
I think you should swallow it and wait for it
to come out the on the red
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