Ground Hog's Day is a Boring Holiday! There, I Said it!

Ground Hog's Day is a Boring Holiday! There, I Said it!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's been such a such a mild winter. You know,
we've had some really cold days, but we haven't had
that obscene snowfall that you know we're generally going to have.
We're not out of the woods yet. Do not start
taking victory laps. Do not put your shovels inside, do
not put the winter coats away, because it's supposed to
get into the thirties again right next week. Like we

(00:21):
dip back into the thirties in the forecast.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
It does, it gets cold again, and it doesn't get
super cold, at least as far as I can extend
out here.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
It's not zero degrees. It's like just you know, thirties.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
It stays nice through the weekend, but there is definitely
going to be a shift Sunday afternoon, meaning there's going
to be a literal shift to the winds. This weekend,
You're going to see temperatures in the mid fifties, but
on Sunday the winds switch to the north in the afternoon.
A LOWA twenty five Sunday night and a high of
thirty nine on Monday, so nothing crazy, just to high

(00:53):
a thirty five on Tuesday, and then Wednesday there is
a slight chance of snow and a high of thirty three.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
That's as far out of I go with it.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
That's just not cold enough to make me feel like
it's going to be like a super duper heavy snow.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
You got to be colder than that.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
And it's a slight chance at this point. So I
don't know if it's going to do anything. We're definitely
I want to say. I mean, have we had a
more dry month of January?

Speaker 3 (01:16):
It's been, it's been.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I mean I saw the map that everybody is sharing
that Omaha has gotten less snow this year than New
Orleans in Atlanta. Yeah, like like Omaha is just the
Oma Dome is in full effect. And I'm just not
willing to say that we're out of the woods yet.
That's all I'm saying. What's the stupidest holiday?

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Boy, there's so many to go over.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Dumbest holiday that most people that actually celebrate, yeah, are
aware of. Yeah, Yeah, it's on a lot of calendars. Yeah,
I'd want to look over a list. The one that
comes to mind is the one that's coming up pretty soon,
and that is that would be the one out at
Gobbler's Knob Groundhog Day, that's right. It's the dumbest holiday.
It is so by far the dumbest holiday. And there

(01:59):
have been unfortunate groundhogs that actually have died when they
got dropped by these dignitaries that are trying to pick
them up and hold them. They get plucked out of
their hole or their dinner or whatever. And I'm not
here to say that these animals are completely mistreated. I'm
just saying that, you know, it's it's so stupid, Like
we're grabbing a rodent and we are deciding whether or

(02:20):
not he sees his shadow. That's the extent of what
we're doing here, to pretend like this rodent can somehow
predict what the next six weeks of weather's going to be.
And everybody in their top hats, you know what they do.
They take their top pat off, they throw it and
they're like time for a drink. That's literally all they do.
And you know what, I get having fun, But man,

(02:40):
this is just so dumb. And you know what, the
groundhog's not even right most of the time. Did you
know that he's like right thirty four percent of the time.
Since like the eighteen eighties when they started doing this stuff,
thirty four percent of the time.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah, so it's like you're better hedging your bet against
him more so than like agreeing that, oh yeah, got this,
Like the gopher knows what he's doing.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
It's a silly holiday. But the fact that it's like
this nationwide thing, I think, I think it's perfectly placed,
and it's about something. It's all about the time of
year or two. We don't really have a whole lot
of big holidays that we're celebrating around that. I suppose
you have a Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Not even two weeks later, not even two weeks later,
but but it is and it is kind of like
right there in the doldrums of winter. So I think
the holidays more about how much more winter are we
going to go through. It's just the everything around the
holiday is really dumb. I feel like there's a better
way we could entertain celebrating that. Yeah, let's just go
ahead and you know, like rope this groundhog and make
it decide what it's you know, is it going to

(03:39):
be cold for the next six weeks?

Speaker 3 (03:40):
Stupid?

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yeah, Now, as stupid as it is, right, as dumb
as it is, there is one groundhog that stands above
them all. Who is it, Bill Murray? No, I'm talking
about the groundhog, Puck Satani Phil, that's the one. And
you'll never guess who has sent a letter to the
good fine folks at Gobbler's Knob saying that this should end.
Puck Satani No are friends at Pita Oh yep, you

(04:03):
know what they say. They are offering to provide a
vegan weather reveal cake to replace the Punk Satani Phil
Groundhog Day festivities. And they say they'll provide this vegan
treat which would mimic that of a gender reveal for
a baby. Hey, but it's probably going to be more

(04:24):
accurate than the groundhog is. Let's be realistic. This is
so on brand for why PETA is such a failure.
And they say they want to provide Punk Satani Phil
and his family a reputable sanctuary for them to continue
to live out their days. Now again, I don't think
Punk Satani Phil's bothered that much except for the one
day at least, that's what my understanding is. But according

(04:45):
to the Peda people, they should scrap the one hundred
and thirty eight year old edition. We've been doing this
stupid thing for one hundred and thirty eight years.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
Can you believe that?

Speaker 1 (04:54):
And they say Phil's weather duties are no piece of
cake for him, that he gets picked up and filmed
and you need look at him. President Peter President Ingrid
Knewkirk said, when allowed to be themselves, groundhogs avoid humans,
create intricate networks of underground burrows, communicate with one another,
and even climb trees. But poor Phil has denied all
of that for a tired old gimmick. Peta is urging

(05:15):
the punk Satani Groundhog Club to sprinkle some happiness into
Phil's life by retiring him and giving Groundhog Day a
much needed cake makeover.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
So what do you think? What do you think, matt
in or out?

Speaker 2 (05:28):
I think the idea is terrible and I think that
it's such a bad idea that it's going to turn
people off from the whole topic even changing. And that
literally is what PETA does every single time. Yeah, they
much like the the you know what. They remind me
of the idiots that stand in the middle of a
highway protesting something. So it's like, do you really think
anybody's gonna agree with you after this? You think anybody's

(05:49):
gonna give in to what you want because you blocked
a highway. It's like, even if you had a good point,
it was ruined by your terrible, terrible idea. And there's
so many different suggestions they could have made that would
have been like, yeah, I could see that, Like what
a vegan gender reveal cake. Well that's what they said. Yeah,
that's a way to cancel a holiday and get it
ruined forever. Nobody's going to show.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
Up to that.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Nobody wants to show up for this. You know what,
bucks a Tawny, do we need this? Can we just say, hey,
on February second, it's National Drinking Day. Let's go out
for drinks in the morning. Americans don't need a reason
to do that.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
But well, no, that's what this is all about. I mean,
it really is.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
It's not about the ground, is about dressing up in
a top hat and going having a drink.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
I think what you do is you get Bill Murray involved,
And I know, yeah, that's what you gotta do.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
You're trying to make the movie and trying to rope
that in. We need to this. If there was ever
a holiday worth canceling, it's this one. Oh, come on,
you get Bill Murray involved. He's an unpredictable older guy
who might have a drinking problem. I may have made
that up, but can you imagine Bill Murray emerging from
some sort of cave or something or other. Maybe he's
just maybe he's just wandering out of his content. He's

(06:53):
like eighty five years old, and we make the decision
based on more winter or more spring. Does he head
towards the conno melli breakfast or does he head towards
the hot tub? Bill's her head towards the jacuzzi or
is he going towards that continental breakfast? And which one
Bill Murray chooses is the direction we drink alcohol in.
I don't know what if people do with this knowledge,
because it doesn't change anything. Bill Murray is seventy four,

(07:15):
for whatever it's worth overestimated.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
He just looks like he's ninety six. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
So look, man, I think that you're onto something. But
your idea is even worse because now we're like giving
celebrities money for this. I don't need a celebrity be involved.
You know what we should do. You know what would
make sense to me. We don't have a live animal
like this. You know what we should do? Air bud style.
We put a dog in the middle, and we have

(07:40):
two people, one dressed up is Winter old Man Winter
snow Miser Jack frost Frosty, the Snowman, whomever, and one
that looks springy, one that looks like Eva Longorian in
a sun dress. Right, and we have this thing where
the dog has to decide which way to go.

Speaker 3 (07:58):
Eh, I'm not very enthusiastic about it.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
And you could have an honorary dog in every community
and you could do a contest for it doesn't have
to be the same dog. It could just be a dog.
It's just like, hey, do you want your dog to
be the weather dog Holiday dog guy? I'm working on
the name. We need to workshop that. But you know,
like that would actually be fun, not harmful at all.
It's an animal that can make its own decisions and

(08:22):
you don't have to worry about it running off and
disappearing or you know, not understanding what the heck is
going on. And then we can go drink afterwards, which
is what everybody wants to do in the first place.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
And I'll let you still wear the top hat.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
How's that you can still wear the top hat and
wear the stupid eighteen eighty seven mustache.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
What if it's like a wrestling match between a guy
dressed as Jack Frost and another guy dressed is like,
you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Spring looks like Eva Longori in a sun dress? Is
that not better or worse than the cake reveal? Like
people are doing that for their gender reveal these days.
I don't need that.

Speaker 3 (08:54):
Wrestling.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Yeah, No, wrestling is a competition. It is a sport.
It is an art form. Last thing I need is
for that to get involved with stupid holiday. Anyway, if
you got some ideas, because you know, we're just like,
what five days away from this thing happening, four days
away from this thing happening, fire away four two five
five eight to eleven ten's fund number four two five
five eight eleven ten. Just when you thought we couldn't
get stupid, or we're talking about groundhog Day on news

(09:15):
radio eleven ten, Kfab.

Speaker 4 (09:17):
Emery Sunger on news radio eleven ten, Kfab.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
I'm taking some dots on this. Rupert's on phone line
of four h two five to five eight eleven ten.
What's going on, Rupert?

Speaker 5 (09:28):
Well, here's the deal. Have you ever been to Juna Dilla, Nebraska?

Speaker 3 (09:31):
I haven't.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
It's A.

Speaker 5 (09:33):
It's a small town just to the east of Lincoln
off a highway too. Every year, first Saturday of every
February they have Unidela Bill, which is the Groundhog's day
for him. They call Unitella Bill. Okay, so usually at
two o'clock now they start the break, which is about

(09:53):
a block long, and you just go hang out the
bar literally it's called the bar, and just hang out,
have a great time. And it's it's a stuffed groundhog
that they use for it.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Okay, so so not a real groundhog. We get to
go to a bar and it's always on a Saturday.
That's what you're telling me.

Speaker 5 (10:13):
It would be this This Saturday is going to be
their groundhog Day fest of all.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
I'm in.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
I'm gonna try to talk to the woman into uh
to making a trip because that sounds like a blast.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
Rupert, I'm glad that you what's that?

Speaker 5 (10:27):
Yeah? Yeah, I go every year as the rules, so
it's a good time.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Thanks for letting us know, Rupert. That's good stuff. That's
what I like to hear. There you go, see, Matt,
it's stuffed groundhog. A one block long parade and then
you get today drink with all your community friends. It's
just a big party and everybody's.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
In on it. And it's always on Saturday.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
You don't have to, you know, like take a Wednesday
off if February second lands on a Wednesday, like the
punk Satani losers do.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
So you're saying there'd be less drinking if Peta had
their way.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Well, I'm just saying, like Peta is just trying to
make it as uncool as right, that's kind of their thing.
But what I'm saying is, forget Peter for a sec
The holiday does suck, And it's not that the holiday
sucks as much as the premise of the holiday sucks.
We grab a real live groundhog, we put him outside,
we watch him, and he apparently tells us that he

(11:17):
did or did not see his shadow, which, by the way,
there is some confusion as to how they even determine
if he did or didn't see his shadow right, And
then he's supposed to predict the weather, yet he is
only right a third of the time.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
It's such a convoluted, ridiculous idea.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
Yeah, it needs the whole idea is stupid, But to
dress in top hats in old timey suits with the
weird mustache facial hair. Thanks the guys in Pucksatani do.
I'm not opposed to that, and especially the day drinking
part where it's just like, hey, you know what, the
entire community is rallying this little tiny place. We're rallying
around each other and having this festival where we're all

(11:54):
invited and we all get to hang out and party together.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
I'm in for that. I'm in for that.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
As like our friends in Nadilla has got something good
going on because they've taken the groundhog guessing game out
of it and they moved it to a Saturday so
everybody can enjoy instead of being on workday some other time.
Do you think Peta is just full of people with
terrible ideas or are they just wallowing at this point? No,
they just they know the only way that people give
them money is if they get national attention, and they

(12:21):
get national attention by doing stupid stuff like this, and
then you know, the dummies in the world are like,
let's give Peta money. Even though Peter doesn't do anything
to help animals. Pet literally just takes your money to
pay their CEOs and all the high level people that
are organizing this these stupid stunts of like, yeah, we
should do a gender reveal instead of just grabbing punks
of Tani phil one day of the year.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
I just to me, it's like, this actually is a
situation where you could have come up with a cool
idea and generated some conversation, and instead everyone is just
going to be slam dunking on Peta yet again, which
is what everyone does. Why because all they have is
terrible ideas. They're upset about every little thing, and all
their ideas to fix everything is just a terrible, terrible.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
They always make sure their ideas don't get taken and
somehow makes them some sort of martyr to the super
duper far left.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
And that's what it is.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
It's almost like they want to have bad ideas, yeah,
because they don't want any of their ideas actually stick,
because they don't actually want to achieve anything. They just
kind of want to be this you know, over arching
organization that just has some you know, crazy ideas that
get a lot of media attention. Kind of reminds me
of when Colin Kaepernick was going to get back into
the NFL and then he made a big old to
do about it and then changed where the the.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
Uh, yeah, the thing was going to happen.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
He was better off not being in the NFL and
not being exposed for being a bad quarterback. He just
wanted everybody to think that he was being blackballed, and
every time he would get an opportunity, there had to
be some level of excuse as to why he actually
wasn't playing, and.

Speaker 3 (13:41):
Then when he got his opportunity, he made a big
sham of it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
So yeah, I mean it's some people. It's it's all
about the chase. With some people, it's not actually about
achieving anything. It's about the chase. Pete somehow is getting
millions of dollars a year from Schmo's all over the
United States because of this kind of thing. So why
would they ever have good ideas? They don't need any ideas,
And I wouldn't be talking about him if this was
a good idea.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
Let's be honest. The reason I brought it up is
because they suggested.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
A gender reveal cake decide what the weather's going to
do for the next six weeks, even though it might
be more accurate than this stupid little groundhog with whom
I love, I love the ground How do you love animals.
I just don't know why we need to be plucking
a real life animal out of a hole guessing as
to whether or not he sees his shadow. What a
stupid idea, and then know he's going to be wrong
two thirds of the time. Anyway, that's a holiday in
this country.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
I still like the Bill Murray thing better.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
He wanders out of his hotel room, does he go
towards the continental breakfast or the jaguzzi? And that's how
you know winter summer or winter spirit.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
Why don't you suggest this and see how many people
show up.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
If Peter would have suggested that, we would have been
talking about them with a totally different tone today.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I would say that's gross, and
I don't need to see it. It is four thirty
on news radio eleventh th in Kfab.

Speaker 4 (14:48):
Emory's songer I'm on news radio eleven ten Kfab.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
I just think it's a bad idea. I don't think
it's interesting. I think that if you want to weigh
in on the public conversation, have a good idea. It
seems like every time Peter has a quote unquote idea
on something, it's just a bad terrible idea coming from
the guy who's noteworthy for having suggested that we play
ice hockey on a battleship. Yeah, and if Peter would
have come up with something like that, they'd be talked

(15:16):
about in a different light.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
I don't think that's how that work.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
If Peter would have came out with a press release
this morning and said, we need Bill Murray stumbling out
of his hotel room, and if he goes left towards
the jacuzzi, we get two more months a winter. If
he goes right towards the Continental Breakfast, a spring happens
in six weeks or whatever it is. Who cares the stupidest?
That's so dumb.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
No, it's a lot better than that groundhog. Well, yes,
the groundhog. We have already established this, and I suggested
the dog idea. Some people emailed and said, you think
Pete's gonna be okay with any animal taking part in
these at least the dog. You can be like, this
is my personal dog. My personal dog loves being around
people and loves being in an environment like this. This
is just something that they find to be fun. Eh,

(15:58):
You can't really say anything bad about that. Dave had
an idea though, he says, you have greyhounds, I know
you'll be on board with this. Instead of a groundhog,
how about an electronic rabbit. Here comes Lucky. If the
greyhounds beat Lucky, six more weeks of winter ah ah,
Like you would have to have like a timer or something,
but it would be fun.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Watching the greyhounds is really fun.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
And then people could play some bets and get involved,
and then you have your drinks. The dog is happy
because the dog got to race, which, by the way,
greyhounds in the modern age, if they don't like to race,
they are not racing. Trust me, I've had failed racers
who were not interested in racing. They did not race.
I had two of my five greyhounds a combined total
of zero races run.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
It's like when you see a really tall guy but
he's not playing in the NBA. He's just not interested
in the sport and that's okay.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
It's okay, and the dogs is the same thing. You
can tell what their interest level is at the same time.
Two of my five were excellent race dogs, including PJ
who I currently have won nineteen races. I got pictures
of him in action. He loves it. Palmer likes to run.
Wasn't awesome at racing, but still raced a little bit. Look,
my point is the dogs love what they do. Peter

(17:02):
wants to come and say, Hey, that dog shouldn't be
doing that. Come tell my dog that they can't do
this because they want to do this. I'll show you.
You just get the you get lucky or get fluffy.
Uh running down the track. My dog is chasing that thing.
It is going to chase that thing one hundred percent
of the time.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
But did the dog give its verbal paw signed consent
to do this?

Speaker 3 (17:23):
You know what's funny you say this.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
There was a case in Colorado that was heard by
the Supreme Court recently about elephants in a sanctuary whether
or not they were able to request their own release.
Elephants elephants if they specifically themselves. Somebody suit on behalf
of the elephants that they should have the ability to
request their release.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
Was the lawyer an elephant, because I think that's how
that would have to work. How can you sue on
behalf of that.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
You're a human. You can't talk to elephants. It was not.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
It was a human person. The Supreme Court said they
actually cannot sue for their own release. So, for whatever
it's worth, we know Colorado is kind of a messed
up place. Least the Supreme Court is like, yeah, a
person cannot sue on behalf of these elephants. We ask
our friends over at Henry Dorley Zoo. They know how
elephants behave and what makes them happy, and yeah, it's

(18:12):
just kind of insane that somebody would even suggest something
like that. Yeah, so Mike says, it doesn't really matter
whether the groundhog sees his shadow or not. It's still
six weeks of winter per the calendar. He's right, the spring.
What is it the spring? It's not the solstice. It's
the equinox, right, the spring equinox. Not making sure that
up sounds right? Let me look that up. I don't

(18:33):
I'm fair, I don't want to spring equinox. It is
a spring equinox. Thursday, March twentieth at four one a m.
Central Time. That's when spring begins. So if that's what
the calendar says, then technically we're still in winter. Even
if the little rodent says that no, I didn't see
my shadow or whatever I saw my shadow, we got

(18:54):
the early spring but the calendar doesn't say that. The
calendar says it's not spring until March twentieth at four
one am.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Well, we're not going by the calendar. We're going by
what it feels like.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
Well, it feels like spring right now. Yeah, you don't
even Well, the groundhog doesn't even need to.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
Be out here. He comes out here. We're like, we're good, bro,
you can go back to sleep.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Somebody tell those guys in Punk Satani that before they
dig him out of the hole, and nobody drop him
this time, because gosh, I mean, like, it's already a
stupid thing. Don't kill a creature doing this, which has happened,
by the way, that's pretty wild, Like not in Punk Satani,
but it did happen somewhere else.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
Just don't google it. It'll get you in a bad mood.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
Just don't like it's I'm sad that I even know
that that happened. Yeah, so that's where we're at. If
you're going to a Groundhog Day celebration, which is this weekend.
By the way, this weekend it's on Sunday. Not an
ideal day for Groundhog Day. I'll tell you it's probably
the least ideal day, because if anything, if you're a
big Groundhog Day fanatic and you want to like be

(19:49):
out and about doing Groundhog Day stuff, you want it
to be a work day at least, don't you not
the day before I have to do a full week
of work. Ideally it's going to be a Friday or
a Saturday. And that's why I love that our friend
and Unadilla is like, hey, it's always gonna be at
on a Saturday.

Speaker 3 (20:04):
That's important to me.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
But uh yeah, we we got We've got plenty of
stuff going down going on, so