A Mongoose is on the Loose in Omaha

A Mongoose is on the Loose in Omaha

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know me to be a big nature guy, and
they don't call you Emory songbird on the streets for nothing,
not that they actually do that, because that'd be weird.
But I am a nature guy. He's a nature guy,
and they do like songbirds me. So I was out
for a jog with PJ and really nice yesterday. Did
you notice it was really nice? It was? It was nice.
It was like it wasn't like super hot, but it

(00:21):
was just right. It was just right, good jogging weather.
So me and PJ are on the jog and I
hear a little weird rustling out in the bushes in
my neighbor's yard. Now I've told you about my possum,
there are cats that are wandering around. Yeah, you just
never know what I pop out. But PJ was very
interested in whatever this was. So I stopped and I looked,
and before I can react, a mongoose. A mongoose, A

(00:45):
mongoose shoots out from the bush towards the sidewalk before
he even notices us. You know, those are just gooses
from Jamaica, right, I think those are goose monds a
different different types. And I'm not an expert in mong
goose is but I didn't know they were native to Nebraska.

(01:05):
So I'm thinking, is this somebody's pet? Did did? Did
they did this this thing on the run? Do I
call Animal Control? Do I call the FBI? The CIA? Like?
Who do I call? Considering it's from Jamaica as you're
probably called chet hanks. But even before I can even
process it, the mongoose stops as one would looks at me.

(01:26):
We make eye contact, and then it does a little
nod like what's up, and then bolts back into the bush.
So now it's like, what what just happened? So I
got a couple of things. I kind of feel like
I'm in the mongoose club. And if you see a
mongoose in the Omaha area, for whatever that's worth, I
think it probably has something to do with me. And also,
if it nods at you, just nod back. I'm not

(01:47):
sure why, but just trust me on that. That's pretty
cool mongoose. Anyway, Are you sure it wasn't a man chicken?
I'm certain, I'm certain. Okay, anyway, a man pigeon. Those
are native to Council Block. I did get a common grackle,
all jokes aside in my bird feeder yesterday. Oh really, Yeah,
have you seen a grackle before? I believe I've seen
a speckled grackle. Speckled grackle, Yeah, I wanted to try

(02:10):
that out see if that was a real thing. Is
that speckled grackle? No, no, I think that there are
some types of different types of grackle, but common grackle,
common grackle is Oh yeah, what I was looking at.
Those are cool. They're like they got all those like
metallic colors. It looks kind of purple on its head. Yeah. Yeah,
they're pretty big. That's probably the biggest biggest bird I've

(02:33):
seen in my biggest bird I've seen in my feeder.
I was like, dang, look at that thing. And I
got a video I put up on my social media.
So I'm getting those. I'm getting starlings, which are also
pretty big. I got blue jays still, I got the cardinals,
got sparrows, chickadees, finches, But I really want to get
those Baltimore orioles when they come to town. So everybody listening

(02:57):
to this, this is no joke. When we start in this,
we start seeing the orioles come in this month, hopefully
maybe early in the month of May. You owe it
to me for all the hard work that I do
for you, yep, breaking my back. Listen people breaking my
back every day to deliver hard cement for your driveways.
You got to let me know that you're seeing orioles

(03:18):
so I can do my oriole dance in my yard
and try to get people get the orioles to notice.
And even if people think I'm weird, I'm only doing
it for the orioles. I don't think that's weird. Have
you seen a Baltimore oriole in person? I have. They're
really good. They're great birds at the Lords and Garden. Yeah, yeah,
now you're talking. This is some good. This is great.
I really I love it. I love it. Also before

(03:40):
I move on. In also non joking work terms, Ketchup
Entertainment officially acquired Coyote versus HACB, and I told you
this yesterday. They are planning a release for twenty twenty six.
The best way you can thank Ketchup Entertainment for doing
this is to go and find a way to see
the day the Earth blew Up featuring Daffy Duck and
work you pick. I will not rest until this happens.

(04:05):
Just to double check the exarbon Cinema four o'clock today,
So if you can squeeze out there today, looks like
the Exarbon Cinema is still showing it West Roads at
two fifteen. Seem My fear is that it's all like
afternoon showings Fremont Theaters seven fifteen, four to fifteen and
seven fifteen. Marcus Twin Creek Cinema in Bellevue three point

(04:26):
thirty five and six. So go watch The Day the
Earth Blew Up Marcus East Park Cinema in Lincoln. If
you're hearing me in Lincoln seven forty this evening, go
watch this Looney Tunes film. Get a good deal. It's
a Tuesday. The theater probably has some sort of deal
going on. It's a ninety minute movie that you're just
going to be laughing the whole time. It's really really good,

(04:46):
and it's all two D animation, and it's important to
thank these people for saving the art of the Looney
Tunes and also animation and not using it as tax writeoffs.
And Will Forte and John Cena are in the Wiley
Coyote one that's coming out next year. But that thing
would never have seen the light of day if it
wasn't for these fine folks that catch up entertainment. So
give them a round of applause and thank them, and

(05:08):
go and see the other Looney Tunes movie, which they
also distributed. So there you have it. Two fifteen. All right,
is it too dangerous to open the phone lines on
a day like today? Well, nah, let's do it. All right,
let's do it. Four roh two five five eight to
eleven ten. If you got something on your mind? Four
h two five to five eight eleven ten, News Radio
eleven ten kfab after these messigis read rip chain Gang,

(05:33):
NFL moving to electronic first down measurements at least an
hour ago. I'm gonna say no, there's a full on story,
full on story. It's a full on story. And we
know that this is something they've been talking about, and
we know that technology exists because the UFL is using it.
You know what though, Okay, here's my thought. That would
actually be because they've been kind of clowned on for
still using the chain gang. Well yeah, and it ruined

(05:55):
the playoff game between the Bills and the Chiefs last year.
This would be a very clever kind of and who
did it help? Who did it help? It helped Taylor
Swift is who it helped. Yeah, it helped Taylor Swift
and the guys who wear red from Kansas City who
it helped. Anyway, back to what you were saying. Sorry, Yeah,
they're getting clowned on because it's what we've been doing
it the same way for ninety years. What a way

(06:18):
you know? No, that's smart. I think it's real. I
changed my opinion and it's real. NFL's Executive vice President
of Football Operations, Troy Vincent says the NFL and Sony
are integrating world class on field officiating with the state
of the art technology to advance football excellence. Combining the
art of officiating with Sony's trusted Hawkeye system is a
healthy recipe for success in our commitment to raising the

(06:39):
standards of accuracy, consistency, and efficiency whereplay. Technology and data
driven insights from Sony's Hawkeye innovations aid us in advancing
our efforts towards the future of football. In quo, WHOA,
that's got to be real. It's got to be real,
they say the chain gang would still be there as
a backup in case there's some sort of issue with
the technology. But are you serious? Wow, that's good what

(07:00):
do you think about people releasing important news on this day?
I think, given the context of how they've been clowned
on for not actually doing that yet, it's really clever
to actually release that you're going to do it today.
That's smart, I guess. I'm just also like, should we
should we go out of our way to avoid any

(07:20):
of this? Should we avoid news? Should we avoid you
know what I'm saying, Like, who would release important news
on the first of April. That's why it's smart because
they've been clowned on. Now if they would have said not,
even the NFL, I'm saying, everyone, everyone, I don't know
what to believe anymore. Do you on any other day
believe people? I mean, this truck accident in Boston seems

(07:43):
to be pretty legitimate. I hope it's not. Well it is.
I see a picture of the truck sideways on the sidewalk.
If the NFL would have said, ladies and gentlemen, we
are reverting to the old school definition of the chain gang,
cool hand Luke style. We will now have prisoners determined
for WAT through the prisoner work release program. Now, if

(08:04):
they would have done that, Emory Songer, then you would
have said, eh, good one. I don't buy it, but
it's funny. No, this is real. Maybe they should do
that though, wouldn't it be good? It'd be good for
pr I think so, and people deserve a second chance.
I think it is a good idea. Most great ideas
start as jokes. Well, I'm going to tell you a
joke right now. Yeah, yeah, look in the mirror. Okay,

(08:24):
I'm waiting for the joke. I don't get it. Okay,
you nullified my joke. Okay, So anyway, Oh it's because
I'm ugly. Oh man, anyway, okay, So it's election day.

(08:51):
You see my sticker? Yeah, what's the same? Says I
refuse to vote because I would rather this be a dictatorship.
That's a lot of words on a sticker, but man,
I respect it. Do you if you saw somebody with
that sticker, would you be like, you know what? More
power to the people, man, way to go? It says
I refuse to vote because I'm an anarchist. Down with

(09:16):
William McKinley. Whoa William McKinley was assassinated in nineteen oh one. Yeah,
he died. He died a decade before the start of
World War One, So yes, that's a dated reference, quite
a bit dated. But an anarchist did kill him, for
whatever it's worth. Right, see, I remember, well, I'm glad
that you remember your history. What number of president was he?

(09:38):
Twenty eight two? Ah? Come on, I don't know, he's
twenty five. I was really close, you were really close
to what? Shockingly close? Shocking? That was a shot in
the dark. I was going to say thirteen. No, that
thirteen is Millard Fillmore. Millard Fillmore, you know Millard Fillmore. Yeah,
he was a guy. You know what happened. He got

(09:59):
office because the guy before him died in office. Zachary Taylor.
He died because he ate cherries and limes and drank
ice cold milk on a hot Fourth of July day
and caught an illness and died like five days later.
What that's how presidents were dying back in the day.
Uh yeah, let me just let me see if I

(10:19):
can't get let me see if I can't get how
exactly did zach Garry Taylor? I had some cherry pie.
I didn't agree with me. Words All right, here we go,
he'd be indigestion. Zachary Taylor died just sixteen months into
his term. His death was likely caused by acute gestro enteritis. Yes, oh,
here we go, brought on after he consumed a large

(10:41):
amount of cherries, iced milk, and raw vegetables at a
fourth of July event he fell violently ill with severe
stummach cramps, nausea, and dehydration. Doctors treated him with common
nineteenth century methods, including blood letting and laxatives. Blood letting
because you know eighteen fits eighteen fifty called in once

(11:02):
here it's medical practices back. So you're saying that that
guy farted himself to death. No, because they needed him to.
They were giving him lactif so he would do that.
It didn't work, but apparently the treatment may have worsened
his condition as well. Some theories suggest he was poisoned,
but modern examinations have found no evidence of that. His
sudden illness and outdated medical treatment ultimately to his death

(11:25):
age sixty five, on July ninth, eighteen fifty. So I
pretty much nailed that, by the way, nice thanks just
nailed that history lesson, And that's how Millard Fillmore became
President of the United States. And less than a decade
after that, we were in a civil war. So you're
saying that back in the day, we had a president
lose his bout with IBS. I just I and people

(11:49):
are like, we got to go back to the good
old days. Is a cute gastro into ritis the same
thing as IBS. I feel like those are slightly different.
Feel like those are different things. Where's the IBS fundraiser?
That's what I've always been wondering. I am not volunteering
for that radiothon. It's hard to catch the people on
the phone to donate your money because they're always running

(12:11):
to the bathroom. It's tough. It's tough, right, you know.
The fiber farmers love it. Though you're farmer grows fiber
on your farm, you're loving that anyway. Yeah, So am
I saying that Zachary Taylor deciding to eat a large
amount of cherries, iced milk, and raw vegetables on the
fourth of July and eighteen fifty is maybe the most
significant thing that ever happened in American history. Not necessarily,

(12:34):
but I'm saying, if Zachary Taylor survives and exists in
his entire presidential term, there's a world where the Civil
War doesn't happen. The same way that it ended up happening. Man,
think about the butterfly effect of Zachary Taylor suddenly falling
ill and dying within a week. Imagine if that would
happen today. And then his is really stupid and like

(12:56):
major sidekick energy Miller Fillmore has to run the country
for two and a half, didn't go so hot, and
essentially through us there was no good candidate to replace him.
Franklin Pierce replaces him, he's in like a mental health crisis.
When he takes office, he does nothing of note. And
then James Buchanan, quite literally the worst president of all time,
essentially allows the South to do whatever the heck at

(13:18):
wants to the point where Abraham Lincoln has to there's
no choice but for Lincoln to win the presidential election
of eighteen sixty and then all the South states secede
after that, and we're off and running pretty quickly after that. So, yeah,
there you go. There's your history lesson Zachary Taylor eating
cherries and drinking iced milk on July fourth of eighteen
fifty maybe the most important thing that happened in American industry.

(13:39):
Where's that movie? I don't know That's what I'm saying.
But I don't know where you go from the acute
gastro into ritis. Like you'd have to have, like Bill
and Ted go back in time and just stop him
from eating that stuff and then see how different America
would be afterwards. Call it dumb and dumber, the American journey. Yeah, yeah,
something like that. Anyway, Rest in peace, Zachary Taylor. Hope

(14:00):
that your swimming feels better. Two twenty eight News Radio
eleven ten kfab and gastro enterritis. Because I said, you know,
I think Zachary Taylor dying sixteen months into his presidency
and Millard Fillmore having to be the president of all people,
that tells you something pretty legitimate, right, Like what the
heck would end up happening? Now, It's a butterfly effect

(14:23):
that could go one hundred different ret ways. But so
I asked here, what would give me an alternate timeline
where Taylor doesn't eat cherries and drink iced milk and
eat raw vegetables on a hot Fourth of July day
and get himself sick and die, it says in reality,
Taylor opposed the Compromise of eighteen fifty, a package of
bills designed to ease tensions between free and slave states.

(14:46):
He wanted California and New Mexico admitted his free states immediately.
He threatened to veto any compromise which allowed slavery to expand.
If he had lived, Taylor likely would have killed that compromise,
creating immediate political chaos after that. Taylor, who was, by
the way, a former military general, took a hardline stance
against secession. If Southern states protest died or threatened to

(15:09):
leave the Union, he might have deployed federal troops to
enforce his policies, much like Andrew Jackson did during the
Nullification crisis. This could have sparked violent conflicts a decade
earlier than the Civil War. Taylor's survival also means Millard
Fillmore never becomes president, and without Fillmore, pro compromised Whigs,
which was the forerunner to the Republican Party. By the way,

(15:31):
the Whig Party. Have you heard of the Whig spell? Wig? Wig? Whig?
You knew? Good job? Yeah, the Whig Party. Basically, the
party dies shortly thereafter, and you could blame the death
of the Whig Party kind of on the death of
Zachary Taylor. As well, but without fillmore pro compromised Whigs
lose influence, the party probably collapses faster. The eighteen fifty

(15:54):
two election would have been more competitive, possibly keeping the
Whigs alive for longer or allowing an earlier rise of
what would become the Republican Party. And then, without the
compromise of eighteen fifty delaying sectional tensions, hostilities between the
North and the South likely would have erupted in the
early fifties instead of the eighteen sixty one time frame. Alternatively,
a Taylor led military response might have crushed secessionist sentiment

(16:18):
before he could fully develop, potentially preventing the Civil War together.
So there you go, there you go. The more you know,
no fool in today. Zachary Taylor's death on July ninth,
eighteen fifty one of the most consequential events in American history.
Everything's different after that. What was he eaten cherries, raw vegetables,

(16:39):
and drinking iced milk? So yeah, steer clear of those
things on a hot July day. I'm going to try
that this fourth of July and I'll report back. You
have to also be like sixty five years old. We
have to go through kind of like the entire thing.
You know, you're you're probably too healthy for it to
really messy up that bad. Yeah you say that iced
milk on a hot day, milk at all on a
hot day, like straight up like cold milk. It's not

(17:03):
a good idea milad choice. Yeah, milk. I mean, I
mean Ron Burgundy found out he was having a rough day. Regardless,
that was a rough time for him. Uh. Anyway, is
there a Will Ferrell movie? Super side question here, but
is there a Will Ferrell movie where he doesn't have

(17:25):
an existential crisis at some point in the middle. Yeah,
the other guys Taligate Daga Knights, Yeah, Anchorman, Yeah, I
mean he kind of has a crisis throughout stet Brothers.
That's true, kind of one giant, one giant crisis. And
I has one an old school too, does it. Yeah,
But I would I would say, I would say the
other guys, he's kind of the straight man. He's goofy,

(17:45):
but he's the straight man, and he's kind of a
he's a very different type of character. He's you know,
Mark Wahlberg's kind of the star of that movie, and
he's just kind of the sidekick, which is kind of
a weird thing for Will Ferrell in this movie. So
when he's the lead, he generally will have some sort
of meltdown and it's all he's hilarious. I mean, I mean,
play the hits. It's always a it's always a hit.

(18:06):
Every time Will Ferrell has an existential crisis is as
a lean man, it's funny. I mean in Elf. I mean,
that's right. His whole life is built on an existential
crisis essentially. So you know, he gets in physical bounce.
He gets drunk in the mail room once, and that's
the moment. Yeah, I mean, if you could pinpoint it,

(18:26):
getting drunk down in the mail room dressed in the
ELF costume, if that doesn't say existential crisis. No, he's
actually dressed up that day. Remember, Oh that's right. He
dressed up because he was told he was going to
work with his dad. Which, by the way, James Kahn,
rest in peace, that guy. He had a nice career. Yeah,
the program underrated movie. This is the news that people

(18:46):
wanted to hear today. They tuned in and they were
hoping to hear important, hard hitting news and this is
this is what I had. Zachary Taylor iced milk. Will Ferrell,
James Kahn, Peter Dinklice, who also I saw today. He's
really like he's going double down on Hey, people like me,
short people. Just we shouldn't be getting cast only in

(19:06):
like fantasy roles. You know, we can do other stuff too. Okay, Peter,
we'll put you in the next basketball movie. How about that.
That wouldn't make any sense. You sure would't, would it, Peter. Okay,
you took seven jobs away from seven able bodied people.
This was their moment, and you had to be bigger
than them. Millionaire. I'm not so sure. Disney wouldn't have
gone the CGI route anyway. You know why, because they

(19:29):
wanted them to look very weird in Cartoony. That movie
I've read and I've heard sucks. The new snow White
just absolutely sucks. It hasn't helped. And I monologue on
this last week that Rachel Zegler has gone completely like
in business for herself, getting her personal politics out there.
It's like, Rachel, you're twenty years old. Stop telling everybody
what life should be like. Stop acting like your personal

(19:51):
politics are bigger than the projects you're part of. Your
movie is bombing for a variety of reasons. One of
which is the fact that you're just kind of insufferable
when you're talking to the press. Can you chill acts
for just a few months. Yeah, it's snow white. What
are we talking about. Well, they've already they had a
mess with the story because Rachel Ziegler isn't snow white.
Is named snow white in the original film because she's Yeah,

(20:14):
it's right, she's pale. Right, Okay, she the original movie
is racist. We could have just left it in the
past where it belongs. Yeah, but I mean it's not
that racist. She's thinks snow white because she looks white.
She's pale. She's the fairest of them all, is what
it says. Yeah, which is by that standard, Jim Gaffigan
should be the most good looking man in America. Now,
by that standard is nineteen thirty seven in an animated

(20:35):
world that doesn't actually exist, including seven dwarfs that have
names like Dopey and Sleepy. But we'll put all that
in the we'll put that all to the side. When
you have Gal Gadot of all people, asking a mirror
who is the fairest of them all? And the mirror
says anything other than you, my dear, we have a
messed up movie plot. You cannot have someone that hot

(20:56):
get told they are not that hot. It makes no sense.
We had to have an entirely new backstory for snow
White because Rachel Zegler isn't pale, which, okay, fine, if
that's the way we want to play the game, that's fine.
I'm just saying, like, you can't tell me you expected
this movie with its cgi qualities, the messing of the backstory,

(21:16):
the fact that gal Gado is already super hot and
you're telling her that she's not hot in the movie
the entire time, and the whole premise is she wants
to be the hottest person there, like uh oh. And
then apparently the songs stink. They've added songs more songs,
and the songs aren't good. Apparently, do there are the

(21:37):
digital Dwarves? Do they at least have high pitched voices? Yeah?
I mean in what I've seen, yeah, I mean they
sound like they should sound. You know what happened. I
think that whole writer's room for this movie had cold
milk on a hot day, and then this is the
movie that came out. I'm gonna go ahead and guess
they'd all die based on the limited historical information I
had on that. Well, we have a cure for ibs

(21:58):
these days. It's not the same thing. IBS is not
the same thing as a cute gastroentthritis. They may be related,
but they're not the same. It would have told me
it was ibs. If you're just tuning in Happy April
Fool's Day, it's two forty seven on news radio eleven
to in KFAB Emery's songer. Mongoose are native to Nebraska
or to North America. You probably saw a weasel, which

(22:21):
closely resembles the mongoose and are very common in Nebraska.
Uh No, no, Dave, I think I'm I'm pretty sure
that I saw a mongoose. And if you saw the
mongoose out there, I mean, have you seen You haven't
seen the mongoose? Never have Oh I know it's a mongoose.
I know it is. If you're seeing that mongoose somewhere,

(22:41):
If you've seen the mongoose, you gotta let me know.
Send me an email Emory at kfab dot com. I
want to catch this thing, not to do anything to
it other than observe it. Like I didn't. I didn't know,
i'd see a mongoose in Almaha, Nebraska. Have you seen like,
like if you've seen a really weird animal and it's
just like, I can't believe that thing's alive. I see
one in the mirror every morning. You go like the

(23:04):
aquarium and you see like the jellyfish, and you're like, yeah,
this thing is a living, breathing eating thing. I mean
breathing is in like you know, kind of relative to
where it is. Yeah, the jellyfish. Yeah, that's a great example.
It's like, how does that work? Like how does it eat?
But it eats stuff. How is the jellyfish the one
that can like electrocute you? I mean it depends. There's

(23:26):
like one hundred or more species of jellyfish, but it's underwater.
How do they do that underwater? I don't know. There's
some cheat code going on. They read about the electric eel.
That's a real thing. Yeah, it like has some sort
of electrical currents and it's a skin or something and
you touch it and it like shocks you. I remember
learning in schools it putting a live wire into water
was a bad idea. Well, yeah, that's one of the

(23:48):
reasons why I think it's so effective for these items
that use it as a defense mechanism. You couldn't eat
an electric heel. If you were a shark trying to
eat that electric keel, you'd have a bad time. I mean,
it's actually genius. It's like a porcupine, right, Like you
see a porcupine. Eh, it kind of looks like an animal.
It's just crazy the quills that it has. And when
you see the quills, you are like, Okay, yeah, if

(24:09):
I was a predator, I'm not trying to eat that thing. Like,
there's nothing about eating that thing that's going to be
fun for me. So you got to go find something
else to eat it. It's genius. The animals that have
not been able to evolve in a way that protects
themselves like that, those are those animals are in rough shape.
Have you seen a mongoose in action? Go watch videos
of mongoose or even like English stoats. A stoat is

(24:31):
very related to a weasel. Go watch English stoats. Those
things can take down a rabbit ten times their size.
Ten times their size a stoat. Yeah you find it? WHOA,
that's a cute little animal. Yeah that thing's vicious really Yeah,
Like I said, carnivore ten times its size. What do
they take down big hares, rabbits, oh, among other things.

(24:52):
But it'll fit in your palm. The stoat, yeah, I
mean it's pretty small, but it'll go after some stuff. Man. Huh. Yeah,
I wouldn't want to mess with one of those things,
like rabid ferrets. They're really fun to watch though, if
you you know, some people have gotten some really good
film footage of stoat families. Highly recommend. But I saw
mongoose in Omaha, and if you find the mongoose or
you've seen the mongoose, let me know. And Marie at

(25:13):
kfab dot com also different. David sent me this and said,
mink are very common around here. After an animal rights
group let thousands go many years ago. I've heard that
at mink farms people just go ahead and like, release
the minks. I'm not here to tell people, not the farm.
I'm not here to tell people what they should do

(25:33):
for a living. Mink farm seems a little too far
for me. I don't like the idea of just having
mink just to slaughter them for their fur. I mean,
that's real Cruella de Ville level stuff right there. You
know what I'm saying, Oh, minks kind of look like stoats.
They're all in the same fam, you know what I'm saying,
and they all can do some real stuff if you

(25:54):
know they're in the right mood. I don't know what
you mean. No, I mean, I mean they they can
go out of their way to take down large prey items. Seriously,
go watch video of stoats or mongoose going after a

(26:16):
prey item. They will. They'll go after you. If a
mink and a stoat mated, they'd create a stink. Why
am I not paid more? Come on, O god, Okay,

(26:43):
if you're seeing the omah mongoose running around out there,
let us know four O two five five eight eleven ten.
Four O two five five eight eleven ten, Or if
you have any other crazy weasel type ideas, let me
know and we'll talk to you coming up three o'clock
hour on the way on a fun Twoesay on news
radio eleven ten k F A B