Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Boston's only class o'clock morning shows.You're ready for the sex time? Oh
boy, you read for a sixthtime? Kenny, you need a nice,
nice, nice warm wet washcloth overyour forehead. Uh not now,
I needed the cold compress the lasttwo days. But thankfully man adic sedyn
(00:22):
migraine. Shit is a miracle.Have you ever been bathed? My god?
Huh? Have you ever been bathedas an adult with or against my
will? Well? No, Idon't mean tied to the shower curtain pole.
I mean, you know, liketenderly bathed. No, now you
know, No, I can't stay. Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't mind
(00:44):
that. I've taken the occasional tubin my adulthood, but I wouldn't mind.
So when you take a tub bath, do you use bubbles? I
would if I could, but Ican't fit in my fucking tongue, so
it's either like three quarters of myupper torso or my lower torsos in the
tub. Would your husband do bubblebath? I don't know. Maybe yeah,
(01:07):
has he? I don't know.Maybe that's a gift I'll get him
for Christmas, bubble bath because Iknow he takes baths all the time and
Bobby still do ye, but itslife. Have it smell like like bourbon
and sandalwood or something. I'll gethim a nice sponge bubbles, a loofah
and a nice can get a loofa. That's why I'm gonna get your husband.
I won't let him light a cannon. No, well, that's right.
(01:30):
You can't have candles because of theuh yeah, for asthma purposes,
right. I mean, I don'tlike to promote, not promote. I
don't like to encourage the bathing.I like showers. So I mean,
if you're going to get him thatgreat, okay. But one day I
hope he grows up and he startsto take showers. Let me ask you
this, what is his favorite superhero? Who is his favorite superhero? Wolverine,
(01:55):
Wolverine, bath Man. I'm goingto get him a Wolverine bottle of
bubble bath a really good time nice. He has all of the original like
X Men and all those like comicbooks, and he doesn't he never he
never opened them to make a crease. And they're all in bags, plastic
bags. Oh that's right. Iremember having that Eternals remember that movie.
(02:17):
They just came out of the eternals. Remember I remember my buddy Doug,
who we used to call the generalmanager once again, and your husband having
this enormous conversation about their comic bookcollection. Yeah, yeah, they both.
There's like two of my high schoolfriends that were just diehards and the
rest of us in our group.Really yeah, I never really I kind
(02:38):
of glanced through him, but theywere collectors like your husband, and they
were seriously beginning like he would readthem, but he would never let him
crease and he put them in plasticbags. Immediately. They're all in where
is my father? When we werecleaning some stuff out in one of the
closets, what is it not Clunkheador Bunkhead or what was that comic that
really old one where Chug had?Yeah, he had those comic books,
(03:00):
still had Archie, Archie Archie.He still has them, but they're not
kept in the same condition that obviouslyJohn kept Archie and Veronica. I think
let me ask you, there wastwo kinds of guys, those that like
Betty those that like Veronica. Thedifference between them Boobs and Betty was the
brunette the uh you know, likeBetty and Wilma. You know one was
(03:24):
a brunette. One was a redheadand Flintstones and the Gilligan's, Yeah,
brunette and marry am redhead was thebig boobs and all these stories. And
the brunette was the Yeah, littleVeronica was the blonde and Betty was the
the dark haired one. Right.I always say now that I prefer the
(03:44):
brunette because I married one. Imarried to brunette, and I'm wrong,
Bnette. The brunette was Veronica.Damn. Oh really yeah? Okay,
all right, so I'll say thebrunette. Yeah, my brother was brunette
that my husband dated. I thinkyou were the first brunette. I think
they were all blondes prior to me. Wasn't he overseas? Was he overseas?
(04:09):
He was in Germany for two years? Oh yeah, you weren't the
first then, So it's probably alot of blonde women in Germany. He
was with a lot of blonde womenin Germany. Oh, I'm sure,
but I'm sure, you know,being in any military person I've talked to
has just this phenomenal track record ofso many women. My husband has a
phenomenal track record that starts the ageof thirteen, Like he didn't need the
(04:29):
military. That man has slept hisway through many states, in many countries.
Wow. Yeah, I mean he'sprobably I mean, this is a
podcast. He's probably slept with wellover one hundred women. Wow. Probably
lucky to be alive, maybe onehundred and fifty. Yeah, I mean,
and he's definitely done things with evenmore than that. Yeah. No,
we were very he was very upfrontwhen we first I don't he did.
(04:50):
What I'm saying is he didn't needthe military to like scrape away any
inhibitions or be around women that wantedto screw him. He screwed his li
inherent with military people. And Ihear it all the time. Oh,
I'm sure it is. I'm justsaying for him, he didn't need that.
Where some of the people you talkto probably that was their highlight of
(05:10):
their sex life was the military.It might have been. John's highlight was
University of South Carolina, Fredonia HighSchool. Yeah, you're everywhere. When
you showed me that picture of himin his younger days, he was he
was a fucking stud. Was strappingour wedding. He was fucking strapping.
He was so like he is.Sometimes I still think about instead of fantasizing
(05:33):
about other people when we're having sex. I just envisioned him from twenty is
exactly where I go to. Oh, I go to thirty two year old
John. But you don't really needto, because in his fifties he's still
a handsome guy. Unlike my buddyPaul, who made his way through so
many women in the military when hewas super handsome. Right now, he's
(05:57):
not making his way through any women. Man. Oh, come on,
not like John a little bit.Honest was he was just fucking hot.
I remember thinking he was out ofmy league. He was so hot.
I felt that way about about mywife too, and a lot of people
still to this day feel that wayabout me. And I remember what my
(06:19):
wife was. Let's say it again. I remember what my wife was wearing
the day I met her. Johnremembers what I was wearing. I don't
remember what he was wearing. Westarted teaching on the very same day.
Our retirement numbers were one off fromeach other in New York, and he
remembers meeting me in the hallway.I remember meeting him. I remember them
walking down to the main office withthe woman, the teacher who was showing
(06:40):
me around Maureen and all the womenin the office were like, oh,
my god, did you see thenew physics teacher. You see a new
chemistry teacher. He's so hot,And they just pushed me in a corner
as they all talked about who wouldbecome my future husband, rember Field.
No, I was like, Iwasn't even in the conversation because I was
just this twenty two hours old fuckyou bitches. No, they're all my
friends, but it was just funnythat I had to be pushed aside so
(07:03):
they could talk about how hot myfucking husband was. Yeah. I remember
being on Galen Street and Watertown.We were neighbors. I lived across the
street and she lived next door tomy bass player, And it was just
a chance meeting. Like I'd heardrumors about her, but I had never
seen her face to face. Andhere she comes strutting down her in her
(07:24):
Daisy Duke's and a red tank top, and I was like, holy smokes,
instant boner. Uh probably at thatpoint. Yeah, I mean I
was nineteen at the Yeah, butI had a girlfriend too at the time.
Oh wow. And I didn't doanything about rocking this boat and making
any moves because I knew if Idid. She knew through word of mouth
(07:46):
because it was kind of like MelrosePlace. The apartments were all side by
side, everyone talked, So Ithink she knew I had a girlfriend.
Yeah, And so if I madea move on her, she's gonna be
like what a dirt ball? Like, yeah, you know, he's got
a boyfriend. He's hitting on me. So I'm like, I'm just gonna
wait see how this whole thing playsout. Yeah, and my girlfriend ended
up dumping me because she went offto college out of Westfield State. So
(08:09):
I was like, actually that workedout really nice. Yeah, good timing,
because this summer will mark thirty yearsthat that took place, that sidewalking
down look at you. I starteddating her thirty years ago, but we
actually didn't have the first date tillNovember of that year when I asked Sandy
out. First of all, shewas underaged. Okay, she wasn't even
eighteen yet. Yeah, fucking jailbait. Yeah, and she was already dating
(08:33):
somebody. If you just do oralthen it's not really a crime. Huh.
That's right. You can't get pregnantin a swimming pool, So she's
dating somebody, right, Sorry,Yeah, I just want to finish,
I know, and then we cango. I'm ready to I bet you
were ready to finish. That wasBoston's only classic rock morning shows, Happy
(08:54):
Ending listen every weekday morning five thirtyto ten for more on one hundred point
seven wc LEX, and I heardradio station
Boston's only class o'clock morning shows.You're ready for the sex time? Oh
boy, you read for a sixthtime? Kenny, you need a nice,
nice, nice warm wet washcloth overyour forehead. Uh not now,
I needed the cold compress the lasttwo days. But thankfully man adic sedyn
(00:22):
migraine. Shit is a miracle.Have you ever been bathed? My god?
Huh? Have you ever been bathedas an adult with or against my
will? Well? No, Idon't mean tied to the shower curtain pole.
I mean, you know, liketenderly bathed. No, now you
know, No, I can't stay. Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't mind
(00:44):
that. I've taken the occasional tubin my adulthood, but I wouldn't mind.
So when you take a tub bath, do you use bubbles? I
would if I could, but Ican't fit in my fucking tongue, so
it's either like three quarters of myupper torso or my lower torsos in the
tub. Would your husband do bubblebath? I don't know. Maybe yeah,
(01:07):
has he? I don't know.Maybe that's a gift I'll get him
for Christmas, bubble bath because Iknow he takes baths all the time and
Bobby still do ye, but itslife. Have it smell like like bourbon
and sandalwood or something. I'll gethim a nice sponge bubbles, a loofah
and a nice can get a loofa. That's why I'm gonna get your husband.
I won't let him light a cannon. No, well, that's right.
(01:30):
You can't have candles because of theuh yeah, for asthma purposes,
right. I mean, I don'tlike to promote, not promote. I
don't like to encourage the bathing.I like showers. So I mean,
if you're going to get him thatgreat, okay. But one day I
hope he grows up and he startsto take showers. Let me ask you
this, what is his favorite superhero? Who is his favorite superhero? Wolverine,
(01:55):
Wolverine, bath Man. I'm goingto get him a Wolverine bottle of
bubble bath a really good time nice. He has all of the original like
X Men and all those like comicbooks, and he doesn't he never he
never opened them to make a crease. And they're all in bags, plastic
bags. Oh that's right. Iremember having that Eternals remember that movie.
(02:17):
They just came out of the eternals. Remember I remember my buddy Doug,
who we used to call the generalmanager once again, and your husband having
this enormous conversation about their comic bookcollection. Yeah, yeah, they both.
There's like two of my high schoolfriends that were just diehards and the
rest of us in our group.Really yeah, I never really I kind
(02:38):
of glanced through him, but theywere collectors like your husband, and they
were seriously beginning like he would readthem, but he would never let him
crease and he put them in plasticbags. Immediately. They're all in where
is my father? When we werecleaning some stuff out in one of the
closets, what is it not Clunkheador Bunkhead or what was that comic that
really old one where Chug had?Yeah, he had those comic books,
(03:00):
still had Archie, Archie Archie.He still has them, but they're not
kept in the same condition that obviouslyJohn kept Archie and Veronica. I think
let me ask you, there wastwo kinds of guys, those that like
Betty those that like Veronica. Thedifference between them Boobs and Betty was the
brunette the uh you know, likeBetty and Wilma. You know one was
(03:24):
a brunette. One was a redheadand Flintstones and the Gilligan's, Yeah,
brunette and marry am redhead was thebig boobs and all these stories. And
the brunette was the Yeah, littleVeronica was the blonde and Betty was the
the dark haired one. Right.I always say now that I prefer the
(03:44):
brunette because I married one. Imarried to brunette, and I'm wrong,
Bnette. The brunette was Veronica.Damn. Oh really yeah? Okay,
all right, so I'll say thebrunette. Yeah, my brother was brunette
that my husband dated. I thinkyou were the first brunette. I think
they were all blondes prior to me. Wasn't he overseas? Was he overseas?
(04:09):
He was in Germany for two years? Oh yeah, you weren't the
first then, So it's probably alot of blonde women in Germany. He
was with a lot of blonde womenin Germany. Oh, I'm sure,
but I'm sure, you know,being in any military person I've talked to
has just this phenomenal track record ofso many women. My husband has a
phenomenal track record that starts the ageof thirteen, Like he didn't need the
(04:29):
military. That man has slept hisway through many states, in many countries.
Wow. Yeah, I mean he'sprobably I mean, this is a
podcast. He's probably slept with wellover one hundred women. Wow. Probably
lucky to be alive, maybe onehundred and fifty. Yeah, I mean,
and he's definitely done things with evenmore than that. Yeah. No,
we were very he was very upfrontwhen we first I don't he did.
(04:50):
What I'm saying is he didn't needthe military to like scrape away any
inhibitions or be around women that wantedto screw him. He screwed his li
inherent with military people. And Ihear it all the time. Oh,
I'm sure it is. I'm justsaying for him, he didn't need that.
Where some of the people you talkto probably that was their highlight of
(05:10):
their sex life was the military.It might have been. John's highlight was
University of South Carolina, Fredonia HighSchool. Yeah, you're everywhere. When
you showed me that picture of himin his younger days, he was he
was a fucking stud. Was strappingour wedding. He was fucking strapping.
He was so like he is.Sometimes I still think about instead of fantasizing
(05:33):
about other people when we're having sex. I just envisioned him from twenty is
exactly where I go to. Oh, I go to thirty two year old
John. But you don't really needto, because in his fifties he's still
a handsome guy. Unlike my buddyPaul, who made his way through so
many women in the military when hewas super handsome. Right now, he's
(05:57):
not making his way through any women. Man. Oh, come on,
not like John a little bit.Honest was he was just fucking hot.
I remember thinking he was out ofmy league. He was so hot.
I felt that way about about mywife too, and a lot of people
still to this day feel that wayabout me. And I remember what my
(06:19):
wife was. Let's say it again. I remember what my wife was wearing
the day I met her. Johnremembers what I was wearing. I don't
remember what he was wearing. Westarted teaching on the very same day.
Our retirement numbers were one off fromeach other in New York, and he
remembers meeting me in the hallway.I remember meeting him. I remember them
walking down to the main office withthe woman, the teacher who was showing
(06:40):
me around Maureen and all the womenin the office were like, oh,
my god, did you see thenew physics teacher. You see a new
chemistry teacher. He's so hot,And they just pushed me in a corner
as they all talked about who wouldbecome my future husband, rember Field.
No, I was like, Iwasn't even in the conversation because I was
just this twenty two hours old fuckyou bitches. No, they're all my
friends, but it was just funnythat I had to be pushed aside so
(07:03):
they could talk about how hot myfucking husband was. Yeah. I remember
being on Galen Street and Watertown.We were neighbors. I lived across the
street and she lived next door tomy bass player, And it was just
a chance meeting. Like I'd heardrumors about her, but I had never
seen her face to face. Andhere she comes strutting down her in her
(07:24):
Daisy Duke's and a red tank top, and I was like, holy smokes,
instant boner. Uh probably at thatpoint. Yeah, I mean I
was nineteen at the Yeah, butI had a girlfriend too at the time.
Oh wow. And I didn't doanything about rocking this boat and making
any moves because I knew if Idid. She knew through word of mouth
(07:46):
because it was kind of like MelrosePlace. The apartments were all side by
side, everyone talked, So Ithink she knew I had a girlfriend.
Yeah, And so if I madea move on her, she's gonna be
like what a dirt ball? Like, yeah, you know, he's got
a boyfriend. He's hitting on me. So I'm like, I'm just gonna
wait see how this whole thing playsout. Yeah, and my girlfriend ended
up dumping me because she went offto college out of Westfield State. So
(08:09):
I was like, actually that workedout really nice. Yeah, good timing,
because this summer will mark thirty yearsthat that took place, that sidewalking
down look at you. I starteddating her thirty years ago, but we
actually didn't have the first date tillNovember of that year when I asked Sandy
out. First of all, shewas underaged. Okay, she wasn't even
eighteen yet. Yeah, fucking jailbait. Yeah, and she was already dating
(08:33):
somebody. If you just do oralthen it's not really a crime. Huh.
That's right. You can't get pregnantin a swimming pool, So she's
dating somebody, right, Sorry,Yeah, I just want to finish,
I know, and then we cango. I'm ready to I bet you
were ready to finish. That wasBoston's only classic rock morning shows, Happy
(08:54):
Ending listen every weekday morning five thirtyto ten for more on one hundred point
seven wc LEX, and I heardradio station
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Intentionally Disturbing
Join me on this podcast as I navigate the murky waters of human behavior, current events, and personal anecdotes through in-depth interviews with incredible people—all served with a generous helping of sarcasm and satire. After years as a forensic and clinical psychologist, I offer a unique interview style and a low tolerance for bullshit, quickly steering conversations toward depth and darkness. I honor the seriousness while also appreciating wit. I’m your guide through the twisted labyrinth of the human psyche, armed with dark humor and biting wit.