Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Boston's only classic clock morning shows.It's gonna pat myself on the back.
The wife got a bag of mandarinoranges, and I like to pride myself
on peeling it in one piece.Looks like a flower. I love these
little things, man, these littlemandarins or clementines or whatever. I think
clementine is a different species, rightthan mandarin. No idea little orange things.
(00:23):
They're really good though. I justthrow that out there, little viamin
c snack other name that kind offun names cuties, right, people call
them cuties. Yep. I don'tknow if that's a brand. It's a
brand, I think. Is that? Well, listen, there's a lot
going on in the world. Earthquakes, floods, fires, thunder, snow.
We got the eclipse today, ofcourse, full solar eclipse. And
(00:46):
we've been talking for a while nowabout the oncoming cicadas out of the South,
not one, but two breeds ofcicada that's going to launch some of
them for the first time in seventeenyears, is it? Uh? Yeah,
Well, what if I told you? If that wasn't bad enough,
there's zombie cicadas that are going toemerge as well. Eat the dead well,
(01:07):
what a living to make them dead. It's even weirder than that.
There's a deadly sexually transmitted disease thatthese cicadas can succumb to. It's a
fungus and it turns cicadas into virtualzombies. Not only that, but the
male species that suffer the zombie cicadaeffects. Yeah, there, Johnson's fall
(01:30):
off, their genitals fall off.You're a little cicada. It's not actually
them talking or making their wings sounds. You're hearing the cicada males screaming as
their dicks fall off. Exactly.That's the noise you're hearing. Actually,
get all summer. You're just hearingthe noise of screaming male cicadas. That's
what you get for fucking seventeen thousandother cicadas at the same time. Now,
(01:55):
don't take my word for this.Information comes from an elite and tamall
just by the name of John Cooleyat the University of Connecticut, and he
says it's become a real problem inthe cicada community. He says it's stranger
than science fiction. They've seen areasin the Midwest in previous incarnations where at
(02:17):
least ten percent of an entire cicadapopulation will suffer from this sexually transmitted disease.
So they're out there banging. Imean, think about that. I
don't know how long the lifespan is. Oh, I don't know. Look
you talk, Yeah, I wonderhow long the cicada lifespan is. Because
this keeps happening again and again,I guess it's becoming a growing problem.
(02:38):
They hatch, they reak havoc,and they bang, and then some of
them they lose their I mean,they're alive four thirteen to seventeen years,
right, But the amount of timethey're alive above ground, right, that's
what I'm wondering. Excuse me.They're a really long living insect for seventeen
(02:58):
years, like five weeks. Well, it's seventeen years underground and five weeks
above ground. That's it. Sono wonder why they're banging everything that moves
because they're like, I only havefive weeks here. I might as well
make the best of it. Yes, I bring it up too, because
it's not just oh. They alsoby the way their buzzing sounds is created
by this is my favorite part.I love this rapidly vibrating drum like plates
(03:21):
on their abdomens. I never knewthat. I thought it was just their
wings. I thought it was theirwings or their legs or something. Females
make clicking sounds with their wings ifthey like the song made by the click
the vibrating drum plates drum like plateson the abdomens of males, So that
clicking is what we're hearing, Iguess. So, yeah, that was
a seed. Listen. I alsobring it up because migratory birds that are
(03:45):
looking forward to this cicada hatch thateat the cicadas, if they eat the
cicadas that have had their dicks thathave fallen off, the zombie cicadas.
Yes, they say that birds canexperience extreme hallucinatory effects on the drugs,
so they trip balls. But maybesome birds seek them out. They're like,
(04:05):
hey, forget the regular cicadas,look for the ones with the white
zombie fungus. Oh, this istheir moment. I'm telling you. As
much as we're looking forward to theeclipse, I think there's some birds that
are looking forward to this cicada hatching. That's pretty serious shit. I'll tell
you what the only other thing Idon't know, if you you had anything
(04:26):
come across your wheelhouse today? No, I just have to peek. Oh,
I'll leave you with this. Let'sget back to genitals for a second.
Twenty two year old Ashland Bischoff,a United States resident, does not
say where she lives when you tellthe story. She stands at approximately five
(04:46):
foot tall. Okay, she's tiny. She is tired of people asking her
how she has sex with her boyfriend, who talks seven six foot nine.
Yes, the normal way, penisesand vaginas exactly. So she's tired of
people asking her how they have sex. This isn't that uncommon, tall man,
(05:08):
I mean people think other people havesex because I'm pretty sure you only
have to meet in one spot likethe other spots. Your body don't have
to meet up for the sex tohave. She doesn't have to be on
top every time. No, thepenis and the vagina just have to meet
everything else can be wherever they are. Yeah correct, Yeah, So why
(05:29):
is it so confusing for people?I don't know, but she says they
get stairs in public all the timebecause of the high difference. And there's
a picture of him lifting her upso she can see what's on top of
the refrigerator. She says, Ican, you know, thanks to him,
I can see parts of the apartmentthat I didn't know were there,
dirty or clean? Yeah worthy,Yeah exactly. But she says she's getting
(05:50):
tired of it. She says,it happens at the family. Oh,
they live in Tampa. It happensat a family functions and cookouts, so
your dad might be able to seethem walking around town in front of their
parents. People are asking her outright, like how do you guys bang?
Oh gosh, like that's really crass, I think, right, and
it's just kind of stupid. Well, we know how they bang, Yeah,
(06:11):
penises and vaginas. Well, let'sjust hope they don't have any white
cicada fungus involved in that. Thatwas Boston's only classic rock morning shows.
Happy Ending Listen every weekday morning fivethirty to ten for more on one hundred
point seven WCLX and I'm her radiostation.
Boston's only classic clock morning shows.It's gonna pat myself on the back.
The wife got a bag of mandarinoranges, and I like to pride myself
on peeling it in one piece.Looks like a flower. I love these
little things, man, these littlemandarins or clementines or whatever. I think
clementine is a different species, rightthan mandarin. No idea little orange things.
(00:23):
They're really good though. I justthrow that out there, little viamin
c snack other name that kind offun names cuties, right, people call
them cuties. Yep. I don'tknow if that's a brand. It's a
brand, I think. Is that? Well, listen, there's a lot
going on in the world. Earthquakes, floods, fires, thunder, snow.
We got the eclipse today, ofcourse, full solar eclipse. And
(00:46):
we've been talking for a while nowabout the oncoming cicadas out of the South,
not one, but two breeds ofcicada that's going to launch some of
them for the first time in seventeenyears, is it? Uh? Yeah,
Well, what if I told you? If that wasn't bad enough,
there's zombie cicadas that are going toemerge as well. Eat the dead well,
(01:07):
what a living to make them dead. It's even weirder than that.
There's a deadly sexually transmitted disease thatthese cicadas can succumb to. It's a
fungus and it turns cicadas into virtualzombies. Not only that, but the
male species that suffer the zombie cicadaeffects. Yeah, there, Johnson's fall
(01:30):
off, their genitals fall off.You're a little cicada. It's not actually
them talking or making their wings sounds. You're hearing the cicada males screaming as
their dicks fall off. Exactly.That's the noise you're hearing. Actually,
get all summer. You're just hearingthe noise of screaming male cicadas. That's
what you get for fucking seventeen thousandother cicadas at the same time. Now,
(01:55):
don't take my word for this.Information comes from an elite and tamall
just by the name of John Cooleyat the University of Connecticut, and he
says it's become a real problem inthe cicada community. He says it's stranger
than science fiction. They've seen areasin the Midwest in previous incarnations where at
(02:17):
least ten percent of an entire cicadapopulation will suffer from this sexually transmitted disease.
So they're out there banging. Imean, think about that. I
don't know how long the lifespan is. Oh, I don't know. Look
you talk, Yeah, I wonderhow long the cicada lifespan is. Because
this keeps happening again and again,I guess it's becoming a growing problem.
(02:38):
They hatch, they reak havoc,and they bang, and then some of
them they lose their I mean,they're alive four thirteen to seventeen years,
right, But the amount of timethey're alive above ground, right, that's
what I'm wondering. Excuse me.They're a really long living insect for seventeen
(02:58):
years, like five weeks. Well, it's seventeen years underground and five weeks
above ground. That's it. Sono wonder why they're banging everything that moves
because they're like, I only havefive weeks here. I might as well
make the best of it. Yes, I bring it up too, because
it's not just oh. They alsoby the way their buzzing sounds is created
by this is my favorite part.I love this rapidly vibrating drum like plates
(03:21):
on their abdomens. I never knewthat. I thought it was just their
wings. I thought it was theirwings or their legs or something. Females
make clicking sounds with their wings ifthey like the song made by the click
the vibrating drum plates drum like plateson the abdomens of males, So that
clicking is what we're hearing, Iguess. So, yeah, that was
a seed. Listen. I alsobring it up because migratory birds that are
(03:45):
looking forward to this cicada hatch thateat the cicadas, if they eat the
cicadas that have had their dicks thathave fallen off, the zombie cicadas.
Yes, they say that birds canexperience extreme hallucinatory effects on the drugs,
so they trip balls. But maybesome birds seek them out. They're like,
(04:05):
hey, forget the regular cicadas,look for the ones with the white
zombie fungus. Oh, this istheir moment. I'm telling you. As
much as we're looking forward to theeclipse, I think there's some birds that
are looking forward to this cicada hatching. That's pretty serious shit. I'll tell
you what the only other thing Idon't know, if you you had anything
(04:26):
come across your wheelhouse today? No, I just have to peek. Oh,
I'll leave you with this. Let'sget back to genitals for a second.
Twenty two year old Ashland Bischoff,a United States resident, does not
say where she lives when you tellthe story. She stands at approximately five
(04:46):
foot tall. Okay, she's tiny. She is tired of people asking her
how she has sex with her boyfriend, who talks seven six foot nine.
Yes, the normal way, penisesand vaginas exactly. So she's tired of
people asking her how they have sex. This isn't that uncommon, tall man,
(05:08):
I mean people think other people havesex because I'm pretty sure you only
have to meet in one spot likethe other spots. Your body don't have
to meet up for the sex tohave. She doesn't have to be on
top every time. No, thepenis and the vagina just have to meet
everything else can be wherever they are. Yeah correct, Yeah, So why
(05:29):
is it so confusing for people?I don't know, but she says they
get stairs in public all the timebecause of the high difference. And there's
a picture of him lifting her upso she can see what's on top of
the refrigerator. She says, Ican, you know, thanks to him,
I can see parts of the apartmentthat I didn't know were there,
dirty or clean? Yeah worthy,Yeah exactly. But she says she's getting
(05:50):
tired of it. She says,it happens at the family. Oh,
they live in Tampa. It happensat a family functions and cookouts, so
your dad might be able to seethem walking around town in front of their
parents. People are asking her outright, like how do you guys bang?
Oh gosh, like that's really crass, I think, right, and
it's just kind of stupid. Well, we know how they bang, Yeah,
(06:11):
penises and vaginas. Well, let'sjust hope they don't have any white
cicada fungus involved in that. Thatwas Boston's only classic rock morning shows.
Happy Ending Listen every weekday morning fivethirty to ten for more on one hundred
point seven WCLX and I'm her radiostation.
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