How Old Should a Child Be When They Get a Cell Phone?

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mike, I'm going to go to Lynn and Pepperrell right away.
But Mike was saying, when he was in school, in
high school, Mike, I think, what was that like, eight
years ago or something. Anyway, nine years ago, all right,
so nine years ago when Mike was in high school,
he said, no policy at my school was they catch
you at his cell phone. They picked the cell phone away,

(00:20):
and that's it. Yeah, Mike says. Then iPads that was
the big issue at the time. Yeah, books on your
iPad and it's and so Mike, Yeah, Mike would use
his iPad and of course play games, which, by the way,
that happened to Ashton. They've got him along that now

(00:42):
they're all on chromebooks. And so what does Ashton do?
The teacher complaint you called? She said, you know, your son,
we're trying to do lessons on the chromebook. I go, okay,
well we caught Ashton. He's playing video games. Are you serious?
She goes, yeah, I go, I'll take care of it.
And of course I asked him, and at first he
denied it, and I said, don't lie to me, son,

(01:03):
you lie to me, it gets much worse for you.
So if I were you, I would just tell the truth.
And of course then he confessed on the spot. Yeah, Dad,
my friends are playing video games, so I thought it
was okay if I played video games anyway, Long story short,
I said, Ashton, I never want to hear that you
played a video game in the classroom or a complaint

(01:25):
from your teacher ever again, because you're going to be
in big trouble son, And so far he's been. It's
it's been a while now, a couple of years, but
he's been very good. So again, to me, a lot
of it comes down to parents, parental discipline, parental authority.
You've got to draw the line with your own kids.
They should not be playing video games in school, period,

(01:46):
full stop. Okay, let's go right back to Lynn in Pepperrell.
She's a perfect caller for this. She's a high school teacher.
She started teaching just before the smartphones were introduced, so
she can have a frame of reference how students were
before the smartphone era and of course how students now

(02:08):
are where smartphones are prevalent. Lynn, what is the fundamental
difference that you've noticed between the students you had that
didn't have a smartphone and now, of course, almost every
student has a smartphone. Please, Lynn, pick up where you
left off.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Well, I think Jeff, that the biggest difference that we
notice is the amount of mental health issues. I mean,
your wife is one hundred percent correct. The kids are
not just zombies. They are so distracted they'll have their
head down in class just on their phone. And I

(02:51):
get what you're trying to say about Okay, if there's
a school shooter, okay, but remember they can most of
these their phones in like a pocket protected like a
shoeholder thing that they pouch. And we're creating though with
doing that, like a snish culture. They're also videotaping. They're

(03:15):
you know, recording teachers, yes, okay, but they're also recording
to bully. They're recording kids doing things and then sharing
it with tons of other kids to bully. They're recording
fights and using that to bully kids. These kids are
watching porn in school.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (03:37):
Like there.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
This is a massive, massive issue that so many parents
don't get because they don't know what their kids are
doing and what their kids are capable of watching on
these phones.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
Lynn, Sorry, Linn, Please, I'll give you all the time
in the world. I promise I won't cut you off,
But I got to ask you, I mean they're actually
watching I'm sorry, they're watching pornography in school, really like
actual porn.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yes, and their studies saying that this is happening at
the age of eight. We are we have a major,
major societal problem with kids watching porn. And I have
students tell me that tell me that kids will watch
porn right when they get up. They're watching it during

(04:29):
the day, at school and at nights before they go
to bed.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Okay, yeah, yeah, Now, Linn, you mentioned something earlier about
it's leading to a mental health crisis. Now why is that?
Is it? Because you're just spending so many hours on
this damn device, loneliness it causes? You say, what depression?
What lack of In other words, what's driving If if

(04:56):
my kid is watching TikTok, he's not, But just play
with me here. If my kid is watching TikTok three,
four or five hours a day, how does that lead
to a mental health issue?

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Well, what we're seeing, Jeff, is that it's mostly number
one in girls. So you're not quite there yet. Your
son's entering high school, your daughter will be there soon.
So it's mostly girls, and what they're doing is they're
watching all the social media. They're on TikTok where it's
all fake. They're on Instagram. Everyone's fake, everyone's filtered. They're

(05:32):
comparing themselves to other people. Sometimes. Do you ever see
something on social media and it kind of makes you
feel bad but you can't quite explain it, You don't
think about it, but it kind of changes your mood
for the day, and then when you finally realize that,
you're like, oh, why am I doing this? That's how
kids are. They'll see something, they'll feel bad about themselves

(05:55):
and it affects their mental health, or they'll see other
kids that have gotten together they've been left out. It's
just a major problem. And I don't agree with more
Heally on hardly anything. And I'm not sure if I
agree from bell to bell, but I do agree with
cell phones should not be in the classroom. The kids

(06:17):
cannot handle it. They cannot, you know, kind of tell themselves, Okay,
it's time to put it away, it's time to break free.
If they can't.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
Lynn, my daughter ava is and we've got a minute left.
She's going to turn thirteen in about three weeks. She
really wants her own cell phone for her birthday. In
your expert opinion, should Grace and I buy it for her?
Or should we wait another year?

Speaker 2 (06:51):
Oh yeah, I'm so torn about this because she's gonna
want it, and all her friends have one, so she's
gonna be sort of, I hate to say this, an
outcast if she doesn't, I hate to say that, it's sickening,
but it's true. So what I would recommend is, if
you get one, you need to put parental controls on it.

(07:11):
You need to have strict rules. So many of the
parents nowadays have zero rules. They don't know what their
kids are accessing. They don't have time limitations on you know,
how long they're on it. What late at nineties, kids
aren't getting sleep. They're on their phones till one to
two in the morning and getting up for school the

(07:32):
next day.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Incredible, incredible. Lynn dynam call, I'm telling you best audience
in the business. I know, Jeff, You're like a broken record.
It's true, Lynn, you sound like a phenomenal teacher. Six
one seven two, six, six sixty eight sixty eight is
the number. I gotta tell you. It's I'm gonna go

(07:53):
to Carolyn Winchester in literally in ten seconds. But It's
just hilarious listening to Mike about his high school days
nine ten years ago. How they moved mountains to make
sure they were playing video games on their new iPads
that the schools were giving out, how they got around absolutely, Mike.

(08:15):
I mean, you guys got around everything, right. I mean,
they they tried every trick in the book, but you
and your friends you managed to out smart them at
every turn. Mike. Mike, Oh, yeah, sorry you so you
They tried to, you know, prevent you guys from playing

(08:36):
video games, and all these iPads they were giving you,
you know, those were you know, to learn math and
geography and science, and but you guys were just gonna
You were determined to play video games, your friends were,
and everything they threw at you, you guys managed to
outmaneuver them. They would ban the Wi Fi so they're

(09:02):
band games on the Wi Fi, put restrictions, and then
what did you guys do to get around that VPN?
But I mean, you know, I don't know what else
to tell you. I mean, you're fighting a losing war here.
Carol in Winchester, Thanks for holding Carol, and welcome.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
Hi Jeff, Hi Carol, thank you for your platform.

Speaker 4 (09:30):
It's wonderful.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Oh, my pleasure, my pleasure. Where do you stand on this, Carol?

Speaker 3 (09:35):
Oh? I would say no because I've been in the
schools over twenty years and.

Speaker 4 (09:40):
With the flip with the bottle.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
Flipping, the spin thing, it takes a while for the
district to figure it out.

Speaker 4 (09:48):
But it doesn't work.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
I would say to keep the backpacks on a hook
in the classroom because they do get paranoid if the
phones aren't with them. But the phones have to be
shut off. No, if the ends are butts, and there
should be an emergency phone. The teacher should have their
phone at full you know, full one hundred when they
come into school to charge. And most of the time

(10:13):
it's the parents call, and believe it or not, it's
it's the parents calling the kids.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
During the school day. Oh yes, I mean outside, Carol,
outside of a family emergency, right, I don't know. I
forgive me, Daddy got into a car accident. I'm not
trying to be morbid, but you know, grandma got a
heart attack or whatever. You know, it's a family emergency.
Outside of that, what are they calling their children for?

Speaker 3 (10:41):
I'll meet you after school or meet me here? I
mean because you know, an emergency school good news, no news.

Speaker 4 (10:49):
Yeah, no news is good news.

Speaker 3 (10:51):
I still feel and it would come out like you'd
have to have an emergency number of God, so that
there was a shooting. Every parent gets the call they
have that anyways when they call when they have a
snow day, everybody gets called one press of the superintendent.

Speaker 5 (11:08):
That's it.

Speaker 4 (11:09):
Every parent gets called Carol.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Sorry, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be fixated on this,
but you mean so basically, the parents are almost worse
than the kids. So you're saying, yeah, the kids have
cell phones, but it's the parents who are mostly calling
the kids. And it's like, you know, hey, I'll pick
you up here. Do you want to go out for dinner?

Speaker 6 (11:29):
Right?

Speaker 1 (11:30):
It's like, you know, uh, what do you want to
do after school? Is that what the parents are calling
their kids about? And the like say, in the middle
of math class, yes.

Speaker 4 (11:41):
It very well could be.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
And also they have fifteen minutes in the classroom. They
only have a short time to get to the next class.
So you mean to tell me mar heally wants to
let that they're okay to get on the phone to
go to the next class. That's going to be a Nightma.
The teachers are not going to like that, no way.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
So Carol, are you I'm just kind of I just
want to make sure I get your position clear. Are
you you're for a Are you for a You're for
a bell to bell ban on cell phones? Correct? In schools?

Speaker 3 (12:11):
I would absolutely not have them go check their phone
bell to bell. Half the kids can't even make it,
can't even make it into a classroom. On the right,
I think it's I don't know, it's two many. I
forget the minutes they have them in between classes. But
there's a you know, somebody better think of something. They

(12:32):
should pilot something for two years, try different things, get
some students in the end. Let's listen to what they
say too. You know, have a negotiation going on. I
don't like any government getting involved, especially Marra Hilly.

Speaker 4 (12:46):
She plays two sides to the fiddle.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
Carol, in your experience as an educator, are kids now,
I'm not saying every child, but are many children? Many kids? Students?
Are they addicted to phones, to technology, to social media,
to iPods, to you know, computers, smartphones? Are we now
seeing a form of addiction? Is that what this is?

Speaker 3 (13:14):
Wow?

Speaker 4 (13:15):
I can't even be out of the classroom, even when
it's in.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
Those pockets, those shoe pockets that don't work.

Speaker 4 (13:21):
They get up, they look, they just have to see it.

Speaker 3 (13:23):
Don't touch my cell phone, and the other one jelling no,
it's going to be even in their backpacks, their backpacks
not near them. They have to have their equipment out
to stop the classroom they get fifteen minutes.

Speaker 4 (13:37):
Come on, let's listen to the teacher.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Wow wow, Carol, thank you very very much for that call.
I mean, I knew it was bad. Jeez, I don't know, man,
Grace is starting to I don't know now now I'm
starting to see it more from Grace's point of view.
Although Carol agrees with me she's against a com mandated band,
a government enforced ban. But I didn't know. Is this

(14:03):
bad in the classroom? Holy mackerel, Carol, thank you very
much for that call. I mean, you're talking. These are addicts.
I mean, it's you know, not even yes, they got
to keep using them there on them. But okay, if
I can't have it, I want to see my backpack
so I know my phone is there, So like you

(14:26):
can't focus for fifty minutes, I don't know say on
a chemistry lesson or I don't know, geography lesson whatever.
You can't focus for fifteen minutes on what the teacher
is saying without having the cell phone right next to you,
or you're looking at it, or you can see it.
Ay yea yai. It's like a crack pipe bill in Cambridge.

(14:50):
Thanks for holding Bill and welcome.

Speaker 5 (14:53):
Good morning mister kuna bill.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
How are you?

Speaker 5 (14:57):
I'm doing pretty good. You know, I could be doing better,
could be doing work. But I think I have a
suggestion for a possible solution. Yes, go ahead, and this
could address three concerns in the schools. So technology already exists.
So you know all the commercial buildings typically have card

(15:17):
access with security cards. Yes, okay, so we're concerned about
mass shootings right, all right, we'll get back to that.
But anyways, getting back to the phone, there's already apps
and everything that exists, and I don't have all the
particulars figured out yet, but reduction and access can be

(15:40):
obtained if somebody creates the right app. Okay, now, what
you would do is you would take all right, So
during COVID, all right, they had these apps. If I
went into a biotech a commercial building colleges. I had
to fill out the fields before my security access card

(16:00):
would be enabled for me to gain access to the building.
It was all linked together, so you had the app,
you filled out the fields, and once you met the
right criteria, your car get activated. I guess what security
wise you're in. I'm combining it in my my My

(16:20):
idea is to have the security and the phone functionality
reduction combined, and you might like put a QR code,
you know, in the vestibule, you know, with the card
access and HK would be an issue to card parents

(16:41):
as well teachers as well. That way, you know everybody
that's going in out of school, what time they cut
it in. All that stuff can be uh you know,
you can do an audit.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
That's interesting. That's interesting. That's very very very interesting. And
you know, and this way you can keep the doors
locked obviously to keep potential school shooters out, but you know,
you're right, the kids have access to the building, the teachers,
if you want, the parents. Look Bill, I like it.

(17:11):
I think it's a very innovative idea. Okay, text line,
it's going nuclear everybody. I think everybody and their aunt
is weighing in on this one. Okay, this is from
my good friend Manny up in New Hampshire. This is
what he wrote to me. You know, as they say,
on's a marine, always a marine. Well this is Manny's take, Jeff,

(17:34):
lose the damn phones. We all survived without them. We
used to ride all over the town, spend the weekends
outside and holy moly we managed. There is absolutely no
damn reason for them to have a meaning the students kids,
for them to have a cell phone in school, And again,

(17:57):
when does personal responsibility come in to play, especially for
the parents. Everyone is so friggin lazy these days, always
looking for the easy way. So basically, Manny's position is,
who needs a cell phone? We manage without cell phones.

(18:19):
Why is it now every child's got to have a
cell phone. It's got to be in class, it's got
to be in school, it's got to be in the
movie theaters, it's got to be in restaurant, it's everywhere,
just everywhere you go, kids are under cell phones. Why
and ultimately it's up to the parents to exercise parental
authority and personal responsibility. So basically, no, Ava, you're not

(18:43):
getting a phone. You know, well, Daddy, my friends all
have a phone. Well, that's just too bad. So I
guess you're gonna have to be the you know, the
odd duckling on this one. You'll live, you'll survive. So
Manny's basically saying it's time for some tough love. Six
one seven two six, six sixty eight sixty eight is

(19:04):
the number. Okay. This is a very very interesting message
that I got on messenger from Charles and here's what
he wrote. It's a long message, so I'm not going
to read all of it, but he is a teacher.
Here's what he wrote. Jeff, after teaching in Arizona and

(19:25):
then having my kids go through West Springfield and now
I'm teaching in Florida, I can tell you that the
cell phone ban really doesn't make any difference. You hear
about the select few kids that won't put it away,
but most kids really don't care and don't let it

(19:46):
distract them. Also, if they want their phone, they're going
to keep the phone. It's now almost become a challenge
to the students in how to get around these school
phone bands. They find it funny when they can outsmart
the school. For example, West Springfield felt really good when

(20:08):
they implemented the cell phone ban. Parents were against it,
but the Democrats were in favor of it. Well. At
the high school graduation, the valedictorian looked straight at the superintendent,
the mayor, and the principal and then asked all the
students in the audience how many of you violated the

(20:32):
cell phone ban? And all the students started saying I did.
I did, And then the valedictorian said I did too,
and all the students started cheering. All they do, Jeff,
is they bring a fake phone, a burner phone, and
the school doesn't even know the difference. Hell, none of

(20:52):
the teachers even really enforce it, so how to use
a phone properly is never even taught. It's about a
lot more than this. Due to chrome books and lots
of other tech, students can't read or even write a
basic sentence. And this is Charles who now lives in

(21:14):
Florida and he's a school teacher. So Charles is saying
this change that Mike is talking about, when it started
nine ten years ago when he was in high school,
everything onto the iPads and now onto these chromebooks, these
basically these laptops. He says, it's been a disaster that
they're not learning anything. They can't write anymore, they can't

(21:37):
do basic math. That we have all of this high tech,
but we're neglecting the three rs, reading, writing, arithmetic, six
one seven two six six sixty eight sixty eight. Maggie
on the north Shore. Thanks for holding Maggie, and welcome

(21:59):
Hi Jev, Hi Matt. How are you.

Speaker 6 (22:04):
I'm fine. I am a retired teacher. I talked for
twenty five years, and at a high school my latter years,
and then I've gone back to substitute teach in middle school.
And it happens to be in middle school in New
Hampshire as opposed to my teaching in Massachusetts. Just listening

(22:25):
to you lead to Charles' text. I couldn't agree with
him more. This is a much bigger problem than simply
the cell phone in the classroom. But I do think
that that's not a reason to overlook that we need
to do something about these cell phones, because I again,
I taught pre and post cell phone, so I can't
see the big difference. But it's also interwoven with a

(22:48):
total change in parenting. The parents are also addicted to
the cell phones, and because they grew up. If you
think about it. I'm old enough to be my student's grandmother,
so I also taught their parents, and it's a multi
generational sort of problem in the classroom. Now, when you're

(23:11):
teaching adolescents in particular, there's always this distraction. I remember
passing notes when I went to school, and if the
nuns caught me, you know, there were consequences. Imagine that
on the steroids. There's a constant undercurrent of distraction. The
kids minds are rarely those who are most addicted to them,

(23:33):
and it is an addiction. It is an addiction. I
completely agree with that. Those kids are never completely engaged,
and adolescence is a time of distraction to begin with,
and now you're just going to add something else to it.
There's another thing that I've noticed. It's become more popular now.
It's these wireless earbuds. Now you cannot see the phone

(23:54):
and you don't see the earbuds, and they've got their
hair pulled down. They're listening to music near one thing
you're saying, and the teacher is at a constant disadvantage.
I mean, when I was passing my notes, it was
a good chance the nun was going to catch me.
But when a kid is texting, and they are masterful
at even having the cell phone in the pocket of

(24:15):
their hoodie. For example, they can still by just glancing down.
These kids are great at text day over say as
great at math, but they're they're very good at texting
and making it very difficult for the teacher. The whole
idea of let each teacher handle it the way that
they think is best. That doesn't work because number one,

(24:37):
the average kid goes to middle or high school seven
classes a day, seven different teachers, seven different policies. You're
a setup for it just not working. And I have
been on the receiving end. As other teachers might say,
I'm saying, I've given you a warning. Give me your
cell phone please, I'll hold it in my desk until
the end of class. You can get the most horrific

(25:00):
tirade of obscenities, of anger, of you don't pay my bills,
and unfortunately you don't get the support of the parents. So,
like a lot of other teachers, I finally just.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Say, sorry, Holy mackerel, Maggie, can I just if you
don't mind back up just two sentences. You're telling me
that if you go up to a student say, that's
texting or watching videos or whatever, playing video games on
his cell phone or her cell phone. And you say,
hand me the cell phone. That's it. You're done, you're done.
You're distracting me, you're distracting yourself, you're distracting people around you.

(25:36):
Give me the cell phone. I'm gonna hold it, put
in a desk whatever. Their response to the teacher is,
you don't pay my bills. Is that what they say?

Speaker 6 (25:46):
Yes, But that's also a reflection of whatever type of
parenting that.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
Sorry, sorry, I mean to cut you. Oh my if
I spoke like that a my father would allowed me
to have a cell phone. B He would never allow
me to bring it to school. Okay, I'm telling you
right now. But see God forbid you know all these
things happened. I spoke to a teacher like that, my
father would have my head. Oh my god, Oh my god.

(26:19):
I'm sorry, Maggie. And you're saying the parents. When you
tell the parents, hey, look, your child's been on the
phone the whole time. It's distracting me. He's not learning
or she's not learning, and it's distracting others in the classroom.
They backed the child and not the teacher.

Speaker 6 (26:38):
Yep, I would say that a parent like you and
like my father would have been you're not necessarily the minority.
But you have a lot of parents who have no
clue what their kids are doing on the phones. And
it's not always intentional. Parents are busy, they're trying to
just hold on before these days of single parents, parents

(26:59):
working night shifts. Maybe they don't even see their kids
when they're living for school in the morning. A whole
host of reasons, and there's always been kids who come
from troubled backgrounds, poor parenting. But the cell phone is
just a way that it is exemplified in the student's
behavior in school. It's given one more opportunity for how
that can be expressed. And oh, yes, I had parents
say you don't pay the bill.

Speaker 4 (27:21):
So.

Speaker 6 (27:22):
It's just that's an issue of respect. I don't know
that it's but the cell phone becomes the vehicle by
which it's expressed.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Maggie, let me ask you this question because obviously you're
a woman of tremendous experience. You've been teaching for a
long time. You know different eras, different generations. As you said,
you're not just teaching their kids. You taught to parents
of these kids, Maggie, would you say over the last
thirty years, thirty five years, whatever, that there has been

(27:54):
a decline, a loss of respect for the teachers in
the classroom, not just from the students but even from
the parents of the students, or am I overstating.

Speaker 6 (28:07):
It, mirstating it at all. We have these things, I'm
sure you've gone to them, called parent teacher conferences, and
those parents are usually the ones that don't necessarily need
to be there. You have them periodically. I think they're
a little outdated right now, but each parent has an

(28:28):
opportunity to meet the teachers and to discuss face to face.
That's been replaced a little bit now by believe believe
it or not. Ironically, there are apps where the teacher
can have the parents set up on a text and
can text the parent and say your child did this, this, this,

(28:51):
and this, and parents sign up for this they want
to be texted and or you can email. I always
avoided that tech. I never I never would text a parent,
nor did I want to be texted by a parent,
because I felt that texting sometimes can be misinterpreted because
of just the format of the language that you use,

(29:13):
and Secondly, I always would guarantee that if a parent
emailed me, I would promise to get back to them
within twenty four hours or less, because it gives me
time to read the email and think about it and
really word my response in such a way that it
means something. So I would always email a parent if

(29:33):
I needed to talk to them rather than cold call
or just text. I don't know if the parent is
at a work situation where it's really not appropriate or
it's just not the right time. I believe it's an
invasive sort of way to communicate with a parent. If
it's an email they have Okay, I'm going to read

(29:54):
my email, I'm going to respond, and that was reciprocal.
So the technology speeds up the process of communication, but
it does not improve the quality of the communication whatsoever.
But that's a parent issue. But the biggest opposers to
cell phones, as I think you probably see our parents

(30:15):
and I think it's number one. They're addicted to their
phones as well, and they would prefer that you text
them that you email them. And yes, it's efficient, but
it's not necessarily quite I agree.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
I agree. I think Maggie, you're making excellent points across
the board. No, Maggie, look as I listened to you,
very thoughtful, extremely thoughtful. Just two things pop to my mind. Really,
I think of my father and I think on myself,
and a little bit how our parenting is different a
little bit. My dad was a bit sterner than I am,

(30:49):
to be honest, spanked more, much more than I did.
But still in the end, I've only spanked Ashton, honestly,
a handful of times, and it's usually one time he
was horsing around with Ava, and I mean he almost
gouged her eye out. It wasn't on purpose. The kids
are playing and I forget what it was. Some kind

(31:11):
of a toy was thrown and they thought it was funny.
And anyway, he cut her right underneath her eye. He
literally could have gouged her eye out. And I just
you know, I didn't just yell at him. I actually
I whacked him. This was years ago, when he was
much younger, you know, on the rear end and on
the back of his leg. I only hit him two
or three times, but that's enough because he I hardly

(31:33):
ever spank, So the fact that I spanked him really, like,
you know, he never did it again. Let's put it
that way. And I sent him right to his room,
so I didn't spank as often as my dad, and
my kids tease me about that. I'm not kidding my
kids I've never heard before, both Ashton and Ava. I
don't know if they're teasing me or whatever, but at

(31:53):
the dinner table occasionally we'll say, Daddy, you should have
spanked this more. You were too easy on us. Dad,
So anyway, and I always like, you know, there's still time.
You know, you're not out of the house yet, but
you know that's I would say the big difference. But no,
I can't tell you again, Ashton's generally a good kid,

(32:16):
but no, I prefer a direct conversation with a teacher.
And I've had direct conversations with teachers with Ashton right
beside me, where the teacher will tell me Ashton is
not doing his homework and I'm like what, and they're like, no,
it's been three or four days or whatever. We need
to speak to you, mister Kooner. Your son, for whatever

(32:38):
reason is coming to school and the homework is not done.
And literally, like my dad, in front of the teacher,
I will raise my voice, obviously, not to the teacher,
but to my son, to Ashton, to let the teacher know,
right in front of her, I respect you. I'm siding

(32:58):
with you. I'm upholding your authority. And I'm a little
bit embarrassing my kid because I'm raising my voice at
him in front of the teacher. And I will look
at him and say, you didn't do your homework, but
I say it in a much louder voice, are you
kidding me? And then I'll tell him you apologize to

(33:21):
your teacher right now, and he apologizes, and then I say,
miss man whatever, missus whatever. I'll just say, missus Smith
or miss Smith, miss Smith, his homework will be done
by tomorrow morning. I give you my guarantee. I said,
is that correct, Ashton? And then he'll sheepishly say yes,

(33:44):
and then in front of her. And I've done this
the same thing with Ava, Ashton. I'd better not hear
about this again. If your teacher calls me here again,
you are in big and I mean big trouble, do
you understand, young man? So and my dad would do
the same like my now my dad would then you know,

(34:05):
whack me or whatever afterwards. I don't you know, I
probably I get mad at him. I raise my voice
in the car and you know, and I let him know.
I want you home. I want you to go working
on your homework immediately, and you don't stop until it's
all done and you're completely caught up, and I want
it on her desk tomorrow morning, and you're going to
apologize the second time. Now, let me just tell you this, Maggie,

(34:28):
God is my witness. I have received emails from school
Ashton's not doing his homework, Eve is not doing her
homework whatever, and I will right back. I say, you know,
I prefer a personal meeting, but if you're busy, I
get it. I will email back, listen to this, or
I say this is unacceptable, and I will talk to

(34:51):
Ashton and I promise you the homework will be all
caught up and done and on your desk tomorrow morning.
The teacher, now I've noticed this has been about five years.
The teacher will right back, email me back and say, oh,
it's okay, it's not so bad, like don't be too

(35:14):
hard on the kid. We just wanted to give you
a heads up. But he doesn't have to have it
all done by tomorrow, or you know, like don't it's
it's you don't have to be so upset about it
or so stern about it or so severe about it.
And I'm looking like, no, it's his homework. He needs

(35:36):
to get it done. He's not doing it. I'm angry,
Grace is angry. We're going to rectify this, Like, you know,
why are you soft pedaling this? I mean, I'm thinking
this in my mind and I'll just write back saying no, no,
he will be told and this will never happen again.
But I'm noticing now among at least younger teachers almost

(36:00):
reprimand you the parent, if you're like, this is unacceptable,
this won't happen again, they're almost like, oh no, hey,
come on and I'll take it easy. I'm like, so,
how's he going to learn responsibility? You think? What do
you think I can come in and do my show
at seven or seven thirty. I got to be on

(36:21):
the air at six. I got to meet my professional commitments.
So what's the example where that's what homework is. These
are your commitments and that you're learning and that you're ready,
that you understand the subject matter. So what is my
kid going to get the lesson now that, hey, I
don't have to show prep. I can do the show

(36:43):
whenever I want and everything is going to be fine.
So I won't prepare for the show. And then if
I wanted to start at six forty five, or if
I want to sleep in or start at seven or
start at eight, Yeah, that's not the real world, buddy,
You're going to be out of a job, and you
be out of a job. I'm just using a radio
talk show host as an example. So no homework to

(37:06):
me is very serious. And I'll tell you this. I
know we're talking about cell phones, but we used to
have a lot more homework. When I remember when I
went to school, we had about two hours of homework
every night. My kids hardly have homework anymore, or they
have a little bit. That's another reason why I get upset.

(37:28):
I'm like, what is it? Twenty minutes a homework? Half
an hour of homework? Talks you you can't do half
an hour. So look, I hear it again and again
and again from teachers that the students, the quality of
the students, the quality of the learning is not what
it was even ten fifteen years ago. And a lot

(37:52):
of it is what Maggie's telling me. The parents are
as bad as the kids. The parents don't care, and
if the parents don't care, the kids don't care. And
for teachers, they find it incredibly demoralizing. If you don't
care that your child is acting up in class, or

(38:17):
talking on the phone, or playing video games or disrespecting me,
then what I can't help your child. Your child is
going to fail at school. And if they fail at school,
they're very likely to fail at life.