Helping Kids Believe They’re Enough—Without the Trophies

What if your child’s confidence was never tied to achievement?

In this powerful solo episode, Kat shares the early roots of her struggle with self-worth and how that moment on a preschool stage shaped her inner world for decades. She unpacks the unspoken messages kids receive about achievement, performance, and identity—and why the work of instilling self-worth must begin early. This episode is a heartfelt call to parents, educators, and mentors to help kids understand that their value is not based on trophies, rankings, or grades—but on who they are at their core.

Discussion Links:

00:00 Kat recalls her first memory of questioning her worth in a preschool speech contest

01:00 Reflections on what drives our early desire to “place first”

02:00 Exploring how performance is often mistaken for value

04:00 How schools reward achievement but not persistence or self-reflection

05:00 Social media and modern pressures to perform for validation

06:00 Kat’s experience teaching kids across disciplines—from dance to chess to piano

07:00 The one question all kids ask: “Am I good enough?”

08:00 How Kat’s mission is to use music as a tool for teaching self-worth

09:00 A call to adults: how we interact with kids matters deeply

10:00 Closing reflections: worth isn’t measured in wins—it’s lived through character

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
It was in preschool.

(00:01):
I entered a declamation contest.
I memorized this poem.
I think it was something about a goat.
I can't remember exactly, but, but I justremember it was a declamation contest.
I stood on stage, it was wearing adress, and I delivered that poem.
And you know when the awardingceremony came, I won third place
and I remember being a child andthrowing a tantrum and it's cute

(00:23):
'cause you're like five or six, right?
Can you imagine being anadult and throwing a tantrum
when you win Third place?
Hey, my name is Kat.
And I'm Lee.
And welcome to the.
Wildly Wealthy Life Podcast.
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(00:44):
Each episode focuses on how afoundation of brilliant minds and
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(01:05):
equip you and the next generationforay wealthy, wildly wealthy life.
Hello and welcome to anotherepisode of Wildly Wealthy Life.
It's been a long time since I'verecorded a solo episode, and I really
hope that today's episode, uh, willspeak to your heart today and maybe

(01:30):
get you on a journey of reallydiscovering your true self-worth.
Um, this is a journey that I havebeen on myself for a very long time.
I'm still on it.
I think we all journey throughself-worth, uh, whether we realize it
or not, whether we accept it or not.
We are all going through a journeyof asking ourselves, are we enough?

(01:51):
I. Right.
Are we doing enough?
Are we being enough?
Are we who we're supposed to be?
There's so many of those questions.
Are we living to our fullest potential?
Gosh, it's, it's crazy.
But, um, I really want to sharea story of the very first time
I remember, uh, feeling likeI'm never going to measure up.

(02:12):
And this was in preschool.
It's crazy that this was,when I, when I think about it.
This story really came tomind because I was so young.
I was about five or sixyears old at that time.
I entered a declamation contest.
I remember memorizing the poem, workingso hard, practicing it, and finally
I was on stage with this beautifuldress, um, delivering my poem and

(02:35):
delivering it as confidently as I could.
And then I won third place.
And I remember throwing a hugetantrum because I only placed third.
And my grandpa, you know, at that timepicked me up and he said, um, it's okay.
Uh, you still did your best.
You, you still did great.
And he whispered somethingalong the lines of, um.

(02:57):
I can't fully remember it, butsomething along the lines of, I
think the judges made a mistake.
Anyway, you're still the best you.
You are better than theones who placed first.
And you know, of course I know hesaid that because he wanted me to
feel better, but at the same time, Ireally felt like I. You know, looking
back, did that make me feel better?
Maybe, you know, but at the sametime, like, okay, so nobody else

(03:21):
saw that I was the best, just you.
Like even the judges didn't seethat I was the best, you know?
And I don't know how we asa five or 6-year-old can
comprehend that, you know, first.
Place is first, best, secondplace is second best, and

(03:42):
third place is third best.
Because nobody in my family told methat, Hey, you know, if you're first
place, that means you, you are the best.
Nobody.
It's just that somehow innately,I think as, as humans, we have
this desire to achieve, right?
We have this desire to do big things.
We have this desire to live amazing lives.

(04:04):
And I think somehow innately, uh, we know.
That when we place, you know, third,like we feel a little smaller, looking
back into our, you know, school system.
I love school.
I, I loved my journey in my school.
Like every school I've been to growingup, like, you know, from my preschool

(04:24):
to elementary, high school and college.
I loved school, but there'sdefinitely a gap in the way
the school system is being ran.
And a lot of that gap is becauseschools right, reward your performance.
They don't reward persistence.
Schools reward your answers if they'recorrect, you get good grades, but

(04:45):
they don't reward, um, reflection.
I. I think about beingin sports my entire life.
Like in school, I was in a volleyballteam, a badminton team, chess and, and
you know, uh, all these other sports.
And you win first place whenyou score the highest right?

(05:05):
Or in swimming, if you are thefirst and running when you're in
the first, the judge will not.
Give you first place just becauseyou showed up on the day that you
were sick and you pushed through.
Right.
Um, it's not about persistence.
It's always been about yourperformance growing up.
And so I think that we carry thatas we get older and now enter social

(05:29):
media and all that we do in socialmedia is really portray the best.
Parts of ourselves, right?
And yes, there are times when people area lot more vulnerable in social media,
and they do show all the parts, the good,the bad, and the ugly, which is actually
what really makes it beautiful, right?
The, the parts that we feel are thenot so worthy parts are, I think

(05:50):
what really makes us beautiful.
And so my work, I, I truly believethat for me personally, my life's
calling has been to work with kids.
I've worked with kids for so many yearsand, and realized that it really doesn't
matter what I teach, whether I'm teachingdance or ariel or chess or, or now piano,

(06:14):
it, it doesn't matter what I teach.
Every child struggles with the same thingI. The question is, am I good enough?
And that question, I think is the,the question that we all ask ourselves
from the, from, from when we arelittle, all the way to we're adult.

(06:35):
We may not know it that we'reasking that we, we were little, but.
You know, if you grew up with siblings,I'm sure you're probably always
comparing yourself to your siblings.
I grew up with a cousin that wasvery, very close to my age, and
I always compared myself to her.
I always wanted to be the best.
I was an overachiever growing up, andso I really struggled with the fact
that sometimes I don't place first.

(06:59):
Right?
And so, yeah, I just, you know,this is to me my life's work, and
I'm so grateful that I get to.
Do this through music becauseI really believe that music is
such a beautiful gift to us.
All right?
Music is a universallanguage and so is movement.
So I'm so glad that in my journeyI've taught movement, I've taught

(07:20):
dance, I've taught music, and, and nowfor me, music is just one of those.
Beautiful things that I get to teach,but alongside that, I get to really
help kids understand their self-worth.
So yeah.
I guess takeaway for today is maybe lookback and remember when was the time that

(07:41):
you first struggled with your self-worth?
Maybe remember thatspecific instance and, and.
That could maybe help you understandlike your struggles of today.
I know that it did for me, youknow, personally understanding that.
Wow, okay.
It started very, very young for me andit carried on for my entire school life.

(08:03):
And you know, if you're listening tothis and, and you are a parent, and
even if you are not a parent, like I'mnot a parent, but I love working with
kids and I love educating kids and so.
And even if you're not an educator, right,you probably have kids in your life as
an aunt, as an uncle, as a friend, right?
You have friends that have kids, right?

(08:25):
So how do you show up as an adultwhen you interact with kids?
So that.
The kids in your life, whether theyare your own or they're not, right?
The kids that you encounter in yourlife, start really believing in who
they are, because I really thinkthat this struggle with self-worth,
you know, as I already shared inmy story, it starts very young and.

(08:49):
I think that we as adults can do ourpart in helping kids around us understand
that what they do, right, the awardsand the trophies and the grades and
all of that, um, does not ever, ever.
Measure who they are as people, andthat their worth is always going to be

(09:11):
tied to who they are, their heart, theircharacter, not what they can achieve.
And I think that if we, you know, justrecognize that and do our best to help
the kids around us believe in themselvesa little bit more, I think that this
world would be a much better place.
So I hope that, um.

(09:33):
You know, you enjoy today's episodeand I'll see you in the next one.
All right, friends, that's a wrap ontoday's episode of Wildly Wealthy Life.
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(10:14):
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